Shine
by paresthesia
Summary: She was in the sky, shining like the sun while he looked up from the ground. He was her guiding light, while she was lost in the dark. Mori x OC. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The first punch always hurts.

He knocked her down in one swoop. He gave it his all and she was flat on the ground. The iron taste began infiltrating her mouth and the taste stung her tongue. She knew that he must've knocked a tooth out, or at least, loosened the molar at the back. Her whole body ached while she tried to breathe.

The girl rolled over from her back and crawled onto her knees.

 _People who underestimate you will be your advantage, Hana._

The child pushed herself up from the ground, swallowing her own blood. She shakily got back on her two feet, trying to orientate herself in the same sparring position she began with.

And she charged with full force without giving him another second to wonder what her next move would be if she had any energy left over from that punch. The next thing he knew, she was pushing him over and having him locked beneath her legs. She threw one punch. And then another. She hesitated for a moment before he hooked his leg over hers to flip her over.

 _You always hesitate. You were never born a fighter, Hana. But we'll make you one._

He looked straight into her eyes. He was hesitating too. As if they both asked each other, _why are we doing this?_

But with that, she refused to give up.

The elders watched as the children wrestled with each other. Their face bloodied, the bruises all over their arms and legs like they were permanently tattooed. The two grandparents looked to each other. They had been friends for years, and pitting their grandchildren against one another had been an interesting past time for the two of them.

"Enough," they heard. In an instant the children split apart, got to their feet, and bowed.

The grandparents bowed to each other.

"Next week, same time." They agreed and turned to leave to their separate ways outside of the dojo. Hana turned around just to steal a final glance at the boy she fought. He too, turned to stare at the girl he fought. He inwardly apologised for the swollen cheek he'd caused.

 _Sorry._

They never said it aloud.

* * *

"You should have dodged that punch," her grandfather grumbled. "Now we have to explain to your mother why your left cheek is swollen."

"I was playing on the slide and I fell over," Hana came up with the lie seamlessly. To which, her grandfather chuckled and gently patted her head.

"Child, you must put your scheming to good use. Covering up for your grandfather… it's a good start."

There was a special bond between Hana and her grandfather. She saw him more often than her own parents. Being the second child, and a girl nonetheless, often meant that she was overlooked. Not that Hana minded, nor did she even notice. Her grandfather, however, did take notice and took the child under his wing after school or on the weekends. For him, it was a fun past time, training his grandchild into a warrior.

He never had the chance with his own son, who much preferred burrowing his head in books. There was no point in forcing is son to be miserable. Before he knew it, his son was a successful business conglomerate with his computer company.

The old man was never used to luxury. What were mansions for when he only had himself left in the world? He asked for a small house, near a dojo, and a park where he could take his daily walks. All of the conditions were fulfilled in the blink of an eye, and there he was enjoying life with his granddaughter.

"Well, if it's one good thing that the Morinozuka did to you, was that he sped up the process to lose your teeth."

She smiled with her teeth all bloodied as if she didn't even notice. Hana shifted something in her mouth, and she spat out a molar into her hand.

"What if I can't eat because he's knocked out all my teeth, Ojii-san?"  
"They grow back, Hana. Your teeth will grow back. Your strength will too. We'll work on your speed again the day after tomorrow. But today, we'll get you some ice for that cheek."

Hana nodded.

* * *

"You shouldn't have hesitated, Takashi," his grandfather chided. "Do not underestimate that child. She may be only a year younger but she is faster."

Mori could only nod as he watched his grandfather tend the scratches on his knees.

"She charged at you like a bull," he continued. "I didn't think she even had it in her. But that was our mistake."

Mori muffled a wince as his grandfather rubbed the bruises while he tried to loosen the muscles on the leg of the child.

"Her grandfather was my rival. We're putting both our pride on the line with you two," Mori's grandfather smiled to himself. It was an old-man's game. Nothing but to let time pass on their long days. "Not to mention, it's good training for the both of you."

Mori nodded.

The children were trained to be warriors when they knew, deep down, that they were never made to fight.

Especially not with each other.

* * *

It was a weekly occasion. Saturday, 8 AM. Rain or shine. Sick or healthy. No excuses. No exceptions.

The children never spoke to one another. They would spar for an hour, using whatever techniques they had learned over the week. Then they would go home, bruised and battered without even a word. And no matter how much they beat each other up, they'd steal a glance at each other before leaving.

It was their way of apologizing to each other.

 _Sorry about that bloodied lip.  
Sorry for giving you that black eye._

And more than once:

 _Sorry about dislocating your shoulder._

Hana couldn't get away with it any longer when her mother noticed her child sneaking home with a black eye. Chalking it up to clumsiness could only work for so long. The deal was that she had to stop after she turned ten.

They sparred for 3 years, without missing a beat. Their last sparring session resulted in Hana winning.

She threw at him a kick that resulted in a broken rib. Kicking had always been her weakness. She was a puncher, a wrestler that brought him down from the bottom. Mori, once again, underestimated her during their last session. One would have expected someone to learn that lesson after 3 whole years.

They bowed for the last time.

Their first words aloud to each other was _sorry,_ said simultaneously while their heads were bowed and their bodies still ached in pain at the end of their last session together.

Their last words were also _sorry_ until years after.

* * *

 **A/N:** A new story. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. I have strayed from my usual character, Kyouya haha. But we shall see where this takes us. I can't guarantee much, but thanks for stopping by and reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Mori sat by his cousin's side at the Host Club, watching their newest member talk about himself. They were all recruited by Tamaki a couple weeks ago. The new member's name was Hiro and happened to be in the same year as Mori and Honey.

Tomorrow was Saturday. It was a passing thought in the middle of the afternoon. He had kendo, instead of sparring sessions from years before. Mori's routine had changed drastically since the last time he'd seen her. He hadn't thought about her in a while.

"My sister goes to Lobelia," Hiro casually mentioned while he strummed the guitar. He was a musician. Only as a hobby, he claimed. He wrote and composed songs any time he could – right to the point where it took over his studies. Hiro Sawada's grades were average at best.

Honey nodded while taking a bite of his strawberry cake.

Tamaki leaned closer to the newest member. "Would you like to play a duet with me, mon ami?"

"Sure, but my classical guitar skills are pretty rusty."

Tamaki excitedly dragged his new friend towards the piano while Kyouya replaced the empty spot on the couch.

"Sister goes to Lobelia." Kyouya pushed up his glasses while nodding at the new fact. He looked her up on his database. In an instant, the aforementioned sister's grades popped up on the screen. "Excels in the humanities, especially. Decent at mathematics, hm. Didn't seem like the type."

"What does she look like, Kyo-chan?" Honey asked before taking another bite of his cake. The Ootori turned his tablet over to show a photo of the girl.

Mori blinked. He knew that girl.

* * *

When Hana was twelve, she was still training with her grandfather on the weekends. No more sparring. No more getting beaten up. But she made sure to spend time with the relative every week regardless.

The grandfather was holding onto the punching bag while the girl threw punches. They were _good_. They were incredible. Hell, if the Morinozuka kid had been here, he was confident that she would've knocked him out in one go. Maybe even break a jaw.

But he knew his grandchild better than that. As much as he would have loved to see Hana beat the living shit out of his archenemy's child, she wasn't made for fighting. When she threw those punches with such force and anger, something must have been wrong.

"Why the anger?" he asked. It was a chilly autumn morning and they took a walk around the park to cool off.

"It's nothing," Hana shrugged it off, adjusting her ponytail.

"Do not lie to your elders," the grandfather scolded.

It took her a moment to mull over her thoughts.

"Mother makes me go to these events with the family."  
"You're angry because you have to do your duties of putting up a face for the family?" He chuckled. "Oh there will be more of that in the future, this is only the beginning."

Hana shook her head.

"They keep calling me the pretty face of the family," she mumbled.  
"It's a compliment," her grandfather offered in comfort. But he knew that she knew exactly what the phrase implied. Hana sighed.

"Hana, they will always underestimate you. This is your life. It's a double-edged sword. Take it to your advantage."  
"I don't want to be known for just being _pretty_."

The grandfather stopped in his tracks.

"I trained you to fight. You can throw a punch. But a punch is nothing when you are only all brawl and no brains, child. I taught you strategy. I taught you the ropes of life. _Use_ it."

* * *

Hiro brought a magazine to school, beaming like the proud brother he was. Forget it being a women's magazine, his very own little sister was on the cover.

"That's my sis on the cover there," he casually slipped the papers on the coffee table as the host club crowded around. It had been a few months since the club had formed and Honey tiled his head in amazement.

"Hana Sawada is your sister?" Kaoru recognized the face. The twins wouldn't have pegged the two to even be related. The club had gotten quite close after a couple months of the start-up business.

They looked much too different. It must have been the make-up, they thought. "She's taken over the billboards in Akihabara too," Hikaru also recognized the face when he walked around the city over the weekend.

"Hell yeah, she did," Hiro grinned. "My little sis is growing up so fast." He shed a fake tear with a smile as he watched the Hitachiin twins whisper to one another about how they could pitch the idea of using Hana as a model to their mother.

Kyouya stayed in the corner, taking notes. Mori watched from a distance as well, keeping the Shadow King company.

"It's a good selling point," Kyouya noted while pushing up his glasses.  
Mori turned his head.  
"The older-brother type, no?"  
The giant only nodded.

After hours, Mori glanced over at the cover of the magazine left behind by Hiro. It was a black-and-white shoot, and she looked much older than fifteen. Eighteen at the youngest. Mori looked straight into her eyes. They had changed. Glazed over, like the world was bleak and sombre. Something in her shifted.

But perhaps it was just the camera.

Mori wanted to reach down to turn the cover, to see if those fierce eyes he remembered still existed in another photo.

"Takashi!" Honey called for his cousin. It was time to go home.

* * *

Hiro sat on his sister's bed as he watched her curl her hair for the annual Ouran Banquet. He was taking his little sister to meet his friends. He was excited to show her off. He was proud. He loved his little sister.

She was the only one who supported him when he pursued music. Hana would sit by his desk and be the first to listen to his compositions. From the small melodies he would make up on his guitar, to full blown remixes that he would spend hours crafting. She was the one who would reluctantly lend her voice to him when he needed vocals. She was his first fan and best of all, his little sister.

"Is that a bruise on your arm?" Hiro reached out to get a closer look.  
"Oh… I'll get some concealer for that after I finish my hair." Hana brushed off the concern in her brother's voice while letting the loose curls fall effortlessly thanks to gravity doing the work.  
"You've been at Ojii-san's? I thought you had to stop getting beat up after you turned ten, which was like, 5 years ago. I mean, why _would_ you want to get beat up?"  
"It's training, Hiro. Or, I mean, it was. It was kind of fun, to be honest."

Hiro frowned. "Mom doesn't like it."  
"But she loves it when I'm on a magazine cover, huh?" Hana snidely replied.  
"Our parents mean well."  
"I know."

"Mom wanted you to do that interview with Teen Vogue Japan," Hiro casually mentioned. As if he wasn't put up to this conversation by their mother.  
"And Dad wants you to get into university for business, but you want to pursue music."  
"I just don't understand why you don't do interviews. People want to know you." Hiro ignored her last comment.  
"I like to keep my privacy," Hana shrugged. "Also, the mystery is a great branding tool for myself."

To be honest, Hana was not interested in playing games with the media, or even the entire social class that she was born into. It was a waste of time, being caught up in the world of riches.

Or so she thought.

The truth was: she was too young to know how to strategize, to understand the game of cat and mouse. So she did what she did best, and that was a line of defense as she was taught.

* * *

Ouran was much larger than Lobelia. That was Hana's first observation as she was led through the corridors of the school. Not like she had been at Lobelia since high school began. She would pop in occasionally to drop off assignments, but otherwise, she made it through the school years without having to _actually_ show up to class. She had on-set tutors, course textbooks delivered to her door, and the privilege of extensions to her classes.

Hiro opened the door to the Third Music Room and pulled on Hana's arm so she'd stop standing by the doorway. She was greeted immediately by a flamboyant blond who introduced himself as Tamaki before kissing her hand. Hiro quickly snatched away Hana's hand before she could react.

"The infamous Hana Sawada, huh?" A redhead came around to her right, observing her closely from top to bottom.  
"Mother would be delighted if we could get her to model for our summer line, no?" A mirror image came up to her left.

Hiro dragged Hana away from the twins. "The Hitachiins," her brother mumbled. "They like to cause trouble. Stay away," he warned.

Hiro was careful to keep an eye on his sister as she wandered around the music room curiously.

"She should visit the host club during hours," Kyouya snuck up beside the older brother. The Ootori had his tablet in his hand. "A definite profit."  
"You can exploit me, but not my baby sister," Hiro chuckled. "I wish the world saw more of her. Not just through magazines and billboards. I don't know why she just doesn't want to shine."

Mori stood behind his two friends, also watching the girl from afar. Her black hair had now grown to her waist, and dyed an ashy brown. She smiled. Mori couldn't doubt why she was a model. He caught himself staring and turned away out of embarrassment.

But as he turned away, he lost sight of his own cousin who had approached the guest.

"Hana-chan, you're really pretty," Honey tugged on the hem of her dress. He said what his cousin couldn't. Hana smiled in delight when she looked down.

"You must be Honey," she laughed and lowered herself to his level. Honey took Hana by the hand and dragged her to his cousin.

"Takashi! This is Hana-chan!"

The two hadn't seen each other in five years. She recognized him immediately.

Hana tilted her head up to see his face. He had grown very much. He was easily a head taller than her. She doubted that she could knock him down like she did years ago. His hair was still spiky, his stance aloof and his gaze elsewhere.

Hana waited patiently until he looked down at her, meeting her in the eyes.

 _Hello._

Mori bowed his head to acknowledge the introduction between the two. Hana smiled and reciprocated the same familiar gesture.

 _It's been a while._

* * *

Ouran was known for their banquets, the ones hosted by Host Club made them especially popular. Mori was obligated to go when his cousin was easily bribed by multiple 7-tier cakes. It was a masquerade, a typical theme. It was nearing the beginning of spring and Hiro had convinced the Shadow King to give him the spotlight when it came to music near the end of the event after the traditional classic dances.

Hiro volunteered to DJ the event, playing his new remixes, blaring the notes through the speakers and no one seemed to mind on the dancefloor. The Ootori had shut himself into a corner, observing the reactions of the audience, wondering if it would be profitable to sell CDs of Hiro's works. Meanwhile, Tamaki and the Twins were thoroughly enjoying themselves on the dancefloor.

Honey retired to his nap from a food coma and Mori left his sleeping cousin in another music room. The sun shone through the windows as it began to set. Knowing that it would bother Honey, Mori walked over to shut the blinds.

He quietly left his sleeping cousin to nap and found himself walking back to the banquet hall, not having anywhere else to go. Mori caught the sound of two voices down the hall.

"I know who you are, you know," a male voice snickered. Mori heard the click of high heels stop echoing through the hallway.

"You must be mistaken," the girl politely replied. "I have to take this call, excuse me." The heels continued on with their tracks only to stop abruptly. Mori quickened his pace. There was something wrong, he could easily sense it. A thud was heard, possibly against the wall.

"Don't you want to dance?"

"No," the voice was calm. "I have to go."

"Stay," the boy murmured. "Stay and dance with me. You don't have to hide the fact that you're a model behind that mask."

Mori found Hana locked between the arms of a boy who easily towered over her. She was cornered with her back against the wall and her hand clutching her phone. Mori moved closer, ready to attack before he heard her voice.

"I'm going to give you ten seconds to get off me." Mori was taken off guard by the venomous tone. He never pegged her as a fighter, but he had a feeling she was more than capable to hold her own ground even after so many years.

"Playing hard to get is cute," he chuckled. "Have a little fun with me." His finger grazed her cheek, causing the girl to turn away. She was disgusted. Mori stopped himself from running over to snatch his arm.

"You don't know who I am," Hana answered, her voice still calm. "And you're also out of time."

Her foot easily hooked against the back of his leg while her elbow jabbed his nose. The boy immediately kneeled over, clutching his face while his ankle throbbed. Hana was quick to stop herself from another kick while her attacker was still on the ground. Instead she huffed and left the boy groaning in pain. As she walked down the hall, Mori heard a phone ring.

Mori swiftly walked past the boy, contemplating whether to finish him off. But he wasn't taught to do such a thing, and neither was Hana. They fought honourably. Emotions were out of the mixture. The boy was still on the ground, kneeling over with blood pooling on the ground.

 _He deserved it._

Mori walked down the hall ignoring the scene and found a door pried open to the gardens.

"I got it. Yes, the flight is tomorrow. Understood. Of course. Yes. Yes, I'll see you there." Her tone was professional, to the point. Never a beat missed. "Goodbye."

Hana turned around to find a figure waiting for her. For a second she thought it was the boy she had thrown to the ground and reflexively moved backwards out of surprise. Her mask was off and her identity was revealed. But instead, it was another boy who towered over her, his gaze curious and his stance aloof. His hair blew in the wind as he watched her expression change from fear to relief. It was Mori.

Hana bowed out of respect, but mostly out of habit from the years they sparred together. He reciprocated the same gesture.

The model crossed her arms as the wind blew again. It was colder than she had expected at sunset. It was such an odd thing to come face to face with her old sparring partner. They were used to fighting but tonight, it felt like seeing an old friend again. Old friends that did nothing but apologized to one another until now.

Hana sheepishly smiled and brought something up that she had heard from her grandfather. "I heard you were the national kendo champion."

Mori nodded. His eyes fixated on her smile.

"That's wonderful. I wouldn't have expected anything less," the girl looked down, feeling ashamed. He had come so far and she… was thrust into the industry of modelling. How does one compare to that kind of achievement?

"I, um," Hana reverted back to what made her comfortable. "I'm sorry about your rib still."

Mori looked away and reminisced about their old days. He replayed that memory. The memory of their final sparring session.

"It was a good kick," his baritone voice surprised her. It was smooth as silk, calm and soothing. It resonated through the gardens they stood in.

Hana tried to fight a smile growing on her face. She easily lost the battle against herself, giving into a big grin. It meant a lot to hear something like that from someone she respected immensely.

"Do you still train?" Mori casually asked.  
"No," she answered. "Not like I used to. I don't think I could throw you down, or even kick like that anymore."

Hana was no match for Mori. He kept up with his training all these years while Hana could only sporadically throw a couple punches ever few weeks or so. However, Mori was quick to comment what he saw minutes ago.

"Yet you threw that boy down effortlessly," Mori met her in the eye. Her large doe eyes widened while her mouth parted for a couple seconds. Hana took a deep breath and pulled herself together. Her expression embarrassed but also fearful of his judgement.

"It—" Hana wanted to explain only to be cut off by the boy.  
"It was justified," Mori assured.

The girl relaxed and exhaled. Something about Mori made her feel safe. He was someone of few words and he was the last person she would ever expect to spread a rumour or even speak of the event to anyone.

"I don't, I mean… I don't _like_ to fight," Hana stuttered. "I just…"  
"We were trained to," the boy finished off the thought. Mori knew. He understood. Hana nodded in agreement.

They stood in silence. Hana rubbed her arms for a little more warmth. It was barely spring, with sakura trees only beginning to blossom. Her hair covered her bare shoulders, providing some heat while her legs were bare and her heels providing nothing but discomfort to her feet. But regardless, Hana still had a small smile on her face, relieved to have Mori's company.

"I won't keep you," Mori knew that she must have been busy. "You should go."

Hana shook her head. "No, I… I have some time. It's been… it's just been so long." They never quite knew each other. But they remembered each other's fighting techniques like the back of their hand. "I wish I knew you before I got to throw punches at your face."

"You would have hesitated even more than you did."

Hana chuckled and nodded. "True… but you would too."

Mori could not deny that.

"Your grandfather is doing alright?" Her voice soft.  
Mori nodded.  
"Good. My grandfather would enjoy having tea with yours sometime. I fear that mine is lonely without me." Hana was guilty about her sporadic visits. Her grandfather had no one else but her.

Mori nodded again, meeting her eyes again to assure her that he would pass on the message. His dark orbs were equally mesmerizing to her, he spoke with his eyes more than his lips. Hana was in the midst of deciphering the language unique to only him before she was interrupted by another phone call.

The boy took this as a sign to leave. He gave a small bow before turning and before she knew it, Hana was alone in the garden with her phone echoing throughout the entire area.

She sighed.

 _Duty calls._

* * *

 **A/N:** If you have read my other stories, you would notice that these chapters are considerably shorter than they usually are. Explanations will be over on my tumblr (link on my profile) if you are wondering why, but I hope you all don't mind the cutback. I struggled very much on developing Hana's character, especially as a model. How it will play a part in the story and how she becomes intertwined with Mori of all people... I hope it's intriguing enough. :) Thank you for all your support, as usual. Your thoughts are much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Mori's grandfather came around every couple of weeks to check on his grandson's kendo practice. The remaining weeks were spent monitoring his other grandsons: Honey, Satoshi, and Chika during their own martial arts practice.

"Morinozuka, out," his master gestured for him to get off the grounds earlier than usual. "You're done for today."

He was obedient, though confused at the sudden change. It was barely 8 AM, and his practice often lasted until noon. The boy changed out of his kendo gear swiftly, bowing to greet his grandfather who stood at the doorway. Mori grabbed his bag of things and slung it over his shoulder while following the elder Morinozuka out of the dojo.

His grandfather was silent, having no need for words when Mori understood him just fine. He followed him out of the dojo, and down a few familiar streets. When they reached their own residence, his grandfather shook his head and kept walking.

They reached another dojo after cutting through the park. It was the beginning of autumn, the cool wind began to pick up its speed while they walked to their destination.

"Again," Mori heard a gruff voice yell through the doors.  
A thud followed.  
"Higher!" The voice growled.  
Another thud.  
"Is that it? I've seen you kick higher."  
Thud. Thud. Thud. Multiple thuds.  
"Knock me down like you mean it."

His grandfather quietly opened the doors to the grounds of another gym, an elderly man holding down a punching bag while the athlete kicked vigorously. Mori could only see the back of the man keeping the bag in place, the kicker was covered entirely.

"My grandson could knock her down," Mori's grandfather called out. Mori's eyes widened at the statement.

Hana stood in place behind the punching bag, and then moved aside to see where the voice came from. She bowed immediately out of respect when she saw the elder Morinozuka. But to also hide her face in front of Mori who stood behind his grandfather. She wiped her forehead of sweat away while she still faced the ground, embarrassed by how she must have looked.

How strange, she thought. She never felt self-conscious of her sweatiness before as a child while they fought. It must have been because they both were in the same position.

"Nonsense, my granddaughter can pack one hell of a punch against yours."

The grandparents stood for a couple moments, staring at one another while their grandchildren stood behind the elders.

"Should we put it to the test?" Mori's grandfather glanced at Hana who straightened up at the question.

Hana's grandfather turned to his granddaughter. She wouldn't dare to shake her head in front of the enemy, but her eyes told a different story. _I can't. You know I can't. I don't train like before._ The elder Sawada shrugged.

"Get on the mat, Hana."

The girl couldn't protest. There were no excuses. They were trained as warriors. Warriors do not complain. They faced adversity without question.

Hana took a deep breath and stepped on the mat, head down.

"You too, child," the elder Morinozuka commanded. Mori could only follow his grandfather's orders like Hana did. He put his bag down on the side and stepped onto the mat barefooted, his head also down.

They had no idea this was going to happen. But quite frankly, neither had their grandparents. Put two egos together, and they were bound to go head to head.

"Ten minutes," Sawada proposed. "No punches to the face."  
Morinozuka scoffed. "No punches to the face? Your precious little girl can't take—"  
"—She can take it. But her job cannot."

Mori's grandfather relented. He knew about Hana's career. It was fair. "Ten minutes is far too little."  
"Too little time? Not for Hana. You know her speed," Hana's grandfather boasted.  
Morinozuka grumbled and then modified the rules. "Fifteen minutes. First person to hold the other down for 10 seconds wins."

Sawada nodded and turned to the grandchildren who still had their eyes toward the ground. It wasn't an awkward atmosphere, rather familiar to all four of the people in the room. It was just the impending injuries that the children were wary about.

"You heard the rules. Begin."

They looked up at each other. He gave her a small nod. She reciprocated the gesture. It was a mutual understanding.

 _Go ahead._

Hana was the first to get into the sparring position. She waited for him to do the same. They circled each other cautiously, waiting for an opportunity. A slight change in expression. A waver of some sort to attack. But they knew better than that. They weren't about to repeat the same mistakes as they did as children.

"God damn it, we're running out of time!" Hana's grandfather called out.

It was true. They were allowed to take a couple minutes back in the day when they had a whole hour to spare. But today, it was a quarter of the time they usually sparred at.

Hana waited. She was extra cautious today, knowing that she was at a disadvantage given that she lacked in much less training than he had. Mori contemplated on letting her attack first. Except he knew that as soon as she came forward, there was no going back. She could bring him down in seconds. It would be a wrestling match. It was no good for either of them.

He could finish her off once and for all. 10 seconds on the ground was all he needed. He could end this mess without any injury as long as he charged at her first, and as long as he kept his weight down on her, there was little chance she could attack back.

The girl watched as Mori strategized in his mind. If he was anything like she thought, he was going to bring her down in one swoop. No injuries.

It was her preferred method too.

But she could tell from her peripheral vision that her grandfather wanted none of that bullshit about sustaining as little injury as possible and finishing this battle in one go. It was dishonourable to him. It was a stab at his pride. Hana, unfortunately, couldn't let that happen.

He came faster than she expected. But it was exactly what she needed when he came low enough to catch her lower body and to bring it down to the ground. He lowered his shoulders enough so that she could hoist herself on top of them, briefly doing a handstand right in the air and bringing him right onto his back with her weight that made him lose his balance.

They were flat on the ground and Hana was the first to get right back up. There must have been less than 10 minutes left to go. Hana waited as Mori was in the midst of getting back on his feet before pouncing on his back, her knee digging into his left deltoid to prevent him from moving his arm.

"One… two… three… four… five…" Hana listened to the count.

Mori grunted and managed to twist his body so that Hana would lose balance to fall off of him. He wasn't going to lose this. Hana let go and got to her feet, realizing that it was too dangerous to stay on the ground. It gave him an opportunity to quickly flip her over.

In the midst of standing, Mori grabbed her leg and refused to let go. He had her ankle under his grip, and soon he was able to grab a hold of her other leg to bring her body right beneath his. He was sticking to his plan of putting his weight above hers so she had no chance of getting up.

Mori was quick to grab an arm that was going to throw a punch at his torso, and instinctively grabbed her other arm in the process to pin her down. Hana grunted and tried to resist.

"One… two…. three… four… five… six…"

Her legs were now free.

That was _her_ plan _._

She was going to kick. Hana shifted her pelvis from side to side such that Mori couldn't straddle her hips if she was in the midst of moving. He couldn't put his whole weight down on her like that. When she gained enough momentum, his body had enough distance from hers so that she could bring her legs up for a kick right in his lower abdomen. He grunted in pain, but refused to loosen his grip on her arms.

She kicked again, forcing Mori off of her right in the nick of time.

"Stop."

Hana breathed a sigh of relief, her back still on the ground. Mori was beside her, also panting.

It was a draw after fifteen minutes.

 _That_ was her whole plan all along.

* * *

They were bruised but there was no blood. The two were relieved of the outcome. The grandparents left and waited for them outdoors while they changed. Hana changed in the change room while Mori figured it would be a quick change to just change in the gym where there was nobody else.

Hana came out earlier than expected with a fresh change of clothes. She changed into her casual clothes with a pair of jeans and a fresh, loose fitting white t-shirt paired with her black leather jacket. Her shoes were now a pair of dark ankle boots with a chunky heel. Hana was dressed fashionably for the autumn season. She kept her hair up in a ponytail and her gym bag was thrown over her shoulder.

Mori was still in the midst of changing, shirtless.

Hana gasped at the sight of his back. Her hand was over her mouth when Mori turned to see the girl in her regular clothing. The sound of her heels resonated through the gym, quickly traveling towards the boy who still had his clothes strewn all over the bench.

"Turn around," she ordered. Hana hissed at the sight. She lightly stroked the dark purple patch on his back. Her cold fingers helped. "Do you want some ice for that bruise? It must be throbbing."

Mori turned around and shook his head. Hana looked down at his torso to find another patch of purple and blue in his abdomen. Hana's mouth parted in horror.

"I'm so sorry." She kicked him hard. But his body felt like a rock. It was only now that she noticed he was all muscle. There was no way she could have known that she would bruise him like that.

Mori threw on his shirt before she felt even guiltier than she already had.

It was only then Hana had realized he was in the midst of changing. She felt the blood rushing through her cheeks, quickly turning red. Hana turned away out of embarrassment and also out of respect, even though it was much too late. He was done changing and he was waiting for her to turn around.

She had her hands on her cheeks, hoping that the cold temperature would cool the redness off. To Mori, Hana only looked terribly guilty, clutching her face out of anxiety.

"I'm fine," he cleared his throat. He patted her on the shoulder, turning her around. She nodded, adjusting her high ponytail in an attempt to not look him in the eye. She was too embarrassed. Luckily, Mori was oblivious to it all, still under the assumption that Hana was guilty for hurting him.

"It's nothing," Mori tried again to comfort her. He noticed the jacket slipping own her arm to show a bit of her forearm that had been bruised by him. "Your arm," he gently took her hand and showed her the bruise that began forming.

His grip was gentle but firm, the warmth from his hands transferred over to her own. Hana was in the midst of looking at his own hand and hadn't even noticed the bruise. His hands were warm, calloused and rough. He fought with them, she could tell. It must have been from Kendo, Hana presumed.

"You are bruised too," his voice brought her back from the daze. Hana looked further down to see splotches of dark yellow fading into greys and blue.

"Concealer will do the trick," Hana gently took her arm away and smiled at him, praying that her face had recovered from blushing earlier. Mori was captured by her smiling eyes, assuring him that she was alright too.

"Please take care of yourself. You'll be sore tomorrow, I'm sure," Hana murmured. "Get some rest."

Mori nodded. "You too."

He patted her shoulder, as gently as he could. He knew she wasn't fragile but… he couldn't dare to hurt her more than he already had. She nodded.

They walked together, feeling oddly relaxed by each other's presence.

* * *

They weren't aware of their grandparents having tea that day. In fact, just the two seeing each other happened to be a surprise. The elder Morinozuka saw an opportunity and seized it. He took along his grandson when he realized that Sawada scheduled their morning tea at 9:30 AM and not 8 AM as Morinozuka suggested. There must have been a reason, he thought.

It was just as he deduced, Sawada had been training his granddaughter that day.

The elders walked in front of their grandchildren, who trailed behind them through the park. Mori had on his windbreaker with his sweatpants. Walking alongside Hana, he noticed her eyes that were thinly lined and her eyelashes longer. He could have only seen the difference from before when he had pinned her down to the ground, her face merely inches away. Her lips weren't chapped anymore, now they had a sheer pink tint to them.

Mori certainly felt odd to be walking alongside a model. He couldn't deny that she was beautiful, especially in the sunlight now that the sun was up. She turned to say something and caught his gaze. Mori didn't turn away, thinking that if he did he would have looked suspicious.

"Sorry for fighting back," Hana apologised. "I had to defend my grandfather's honour," her voice lowered so that the elders wouldn't hear her.

"You were supposed to," Mori answered, turning to look forward at their grandparents. His heart was still beating fast for being caught looking at her.

"I would have gone with your strategy," Hana admitted. "Gone down in 10 seconds. But… I thought a draw would have been more beneficial to us both."

 _That was a smarter move._ He thought.

She strategized like he did. Only that she was one step ahead, and Mori could not deny that she was smarter than she let others believe. She was always the one to be underestimated. It seemed like that for her entire life.

Hana seemed to be in a comfortable position, letting the world underestimate her. She didn't quite put on a façade, like he saw with his friend Kyouya. She was kind and genuine to anyone who approached her. It was not manipulative. It was a form of defense, hiding behind the curtain of prejudice. Another strategy to fight against the world. It was very much like her to do so.

The two accompanied their grandparents for tea at a home owned by Hana's grandfather. A traditionally built home; it was quite spacious for one person. The space gave her grandfather enough room to keep fit. They stepped into the home, sliding the wooden doors and taking off their shoes.

"I'll make the tea," Hana was quick to serve the guests. She settled herself in the kitchen and began boiling the water. The rest of the group settled in the tea room, sitting on their knees by the table on top of the tatami mats. There was a comfortable silence as the elders meditated. Mori heard the kettle whistle and the water being poured. He got up to open the door for Hana, under the expectation that her hands were tied with the tray of tea and the cups.

Hana swiftly passed the tray over to Mori who placed it on the table while she closed the doors. Hana settled down beside her grandfather, with Mori doing the same on the other side. She poured the tea for all four.

The children let the elders sip their tea before they did.

"You have grown, Hana," Morinozuka commented. He no longer saw the child he knew from years ago. She was now dressed like a woman, her eyes larger than he had remembered with hair that could have easily reached her waist if she let it down from the ponytail. She poured tea with her painted nails, a deep maroon colour. She was sophisticated, carrying herself with elegance. No longer the clumsy girl she was on the mat.

Hana lowered her head in respect, acknowledging the elder's comment.

"Takashi, as well," the Sawada elder sipped his tea. "You are in your third year at Ouran like Hiro, no?"

Mori lowered his head too, nodding.

Morinozuka placed his cup gently down on the table. "Hiro…" he tried remembering how the Sawada grandson looked like. He couldn't quite picture him. It was always Hana that came to mind when he thought of the Sawada grandchildren.

"Why didn't you train him?" Morinozuka wondered.

Sawada took a look at his granddaughter. She glanced back, also curious to hear his explanation.

"Because I saw more potential in this one," Sawada answered. "You saw potential in all your grandsons, no?"

Morinozuka nodded. "They came out of the womb kicking and screaming, of course."  
"As did this one," Sawada winked at his granddaughter.

Mori saw a small smile creep onto Hana's face. She took a sip of tea and placed her cup down. Hana reached for the tea pot to refill everyone's cups, but Mori took it instead. It was his turn to serve.

The elders let their grandchildren serve them without question. They both watched their children carefully, their quick glances at each other did not go unnoticed.

"Who would have thought our grandchildren would be peacefully serving us tea?" Sawada chuckled. Mori's grandfather joined in, laughing.

"We had always thought you two would grow to hate one another," Morinozuka explained. "Quite the opposite, don't you think?"

Mori nodded. Hana smiled out of politeness.

The grandfathers only laughed at their responses.

"Takashi, you are graduating soon. What plans do you have after Ouran?" Hana's grandfather asked.  
Mori cleared his throat. "Philosophy at Toudai," he answered.

Hana had begun to notice a pattern in Mori's speech. He was straight to the point, conveying his message in the quickest, most efficient sentences. There was no rambling when it came to him.

The elder Sawada gave an approving nod. "And for your other grandson?" he directed the question at Morinozuka.

"Engineering at Toudai," Mori answered again.

"Ah," Sawada mulled over those choices. "Interesting."

Mori's grandfather glanced at Hana. She was in the midst of refilling their cups as it was her turn. "You must be busy, Hana. Any future plans?"

Hana shook her head while she placed the tea pot down. "Not… at the moment, Morinozuka-san."

Morinozuka shrugged. "It is still early. You have another year to decide, after all."

Sawada patted his granddaughter's back. "She's busy with work as well. Yet she still makes Honours at Lobelia."

Hana's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't ever told him that. Or really, anyone. Her grades were often overlooked by her mother who couldn't care less. Her father was too busy working to spend time with his family. While Hiro was less than thrilled to hear about anything to do with academics, he was in love with his music. Hana's academic achievements were celebrated independently.

Mori watched as she ducked her head down after grandfather made the comment. Hana received attention from the public because of her career. They knew her face. They admired her. But they never quite _knew_ her. To see her surprised at such a comment, Mori had begun to see her in a way no one else saw.

"She must have better things to do than to spend time with this old goon," Morinozuka pointed to the elder across the table before chuckling at his own joke. Sawada was unimpressed. Hana cracked a small smile and sipped her tea quietly.

"You took him out of kendo practice, didn't you? Irresponsible _old_ goon for a grandfather you have, Takashi."

Takashi cleared his throat in an attempt to stop himself from chuckling. It was disrespectful. But he also tried to fight a smile on his face. He pursed his lips in a straight line and also took a sip of his tea like Hana did.

It was Morinozuka's turn to scowl.

"Hana must have a busy schedule," Mori's grandfather pointed out. "You trouble her."  
"She makes time for her old goon," Hana's grandfather smirked. "I am the more superior grandparent."

Mori refilled their tea cups while Hana patted her grandfather on the shoulder.

"Morinozuka-san has raised four grandchildren," Hana quietly reminded.  
"Damn straight, even your granddaughter respects me," the Morinozuka elder felt triumphant. He gave an approving nod to Hana who could only politely smile back.  
"And do any of them come visit you on their own accord?" Sawada pointed out.

Mori's grandfather looked at his grandson who finished refilling their tea cups.

"They are busy with practice, while receiving guidance from Morinozuka-san," the granddaughter murmured. She gave her grandfather a pleading look to not embarrass himself, or her in his next sentence.

"Your granddaughter speaks the truth, far from the old goon that raised her," Mori's grandfather grumbled.

"Listen here, you—"  
"Ojii-san," Hana clenched her teeth. She put a hand on his arm and tried to preserve the last of his dignity.

"I could have easily knocked you out if it weren't for my granddaughter," Sawada grumbled, he sat back down.  
"And I could have taken you like the old days," Morinozuka raised his voice.

Mori put a hand on his grandfather's shoulder.

The elderly calmed down and sipped their tea. Just like that, they went from laughing to wanting to punch each other's guts out. Hana wondered what it must have been like if their grandparents had tea without them. The grandchildren looked at one another, sharing a glance of relief.

There was a moment of relaxation as all four of them drank more tea in silence. Hana slyly checked the time on her phone. It was after 10 in the morning and she had to be on set by 11.

She bowed her head to the Morinozukas, citing that she had to get to work within an hour's time. She turned to her grandfather and bowed to him as well.

"I'll see you whenever I can," she promised.

The elder Sawada nodded and patted his grandchild on the back, giving her permission to leave.

"Takashi, walk her out," the elder Morinozuka commanded. Mori swiftly got to his feet to follow Hana out of the home, and to walk her out of the gardens and onto the street. "You should head home too, Takashi."

Mori turned to bow at Sawada and his own grandfather before seeing himself out with Hana.

A brief moment of silence between the elders passed by as they poured each other tea.

"Hana is quite the fighter," Morinozuka admitted. "Quite the young woman as well."  
"Of course," Sawada scoffed. It was his grandchild. "Takashi is still tactful, as always."

The elders took another sip.

"They think they can outsmart us by staging a draw," Sawada chuckled. Morinozuka joined in with laughter.  
"Takashi would have easily taken her down if it hadn't been for his mercy," he added.

Sawada stopped laughing.

"Hana easily had him with her knee at his deltoid. There was an opportunity for her to keep him down for good and you and I know she didn't take it."  
"Takashi had her in position while she was pinned down."  
"And she kicked him off like the champion she deserved to be."  
"She only got to kick because Takashi gave her the space."

The elders glared at each other.

It was just another regular day where they had tea together.

* * *

"You don't have to wait with me," Hana urged him to go home. Her driver would be here in a couple minutes, she claimed.

Mori didn't budge. Instead, he made himself comfortable against the stone wall beside the gate of the Sawada residence. He reverted back to his aloof stance, a familiar sight. Hana didn't want to argue with the boy, letting him wait with her as he pleased.

"Do you think they're throwing punches at each other right now?" Hana just realized that they had left their grandparents alone for more than five minutes. Mori heard genuine concern in her voice and he too, paused for a moment to think about what their grandparents were up to.

They glanced at each other, sharing the same expression of suspicion.

"No… right?" the girl answered her own question. "I mean, my grandfather is… well, you know. Morinozuka-san… seems less hot tempered than my grandfather."

Mori nodded in agreement.

"It's fine," he assured.

Hana exhaled. She adjusted the strap of her gym bag on her shoulder and stifled a yawn. She had gotten about five hours of sleep the night prior as she tried to finish up an essay for her English class. Luckily she finished, though she still had to edit the paper before submitting it later tonight.

"So, Philosophy huh?" Hana tried making small talk.

Mori nodded.

"Why?" she asked.

"It's interesting," he answered. His sentences were always short. It didn't give her much to work with when it came to small talk, but that didn't matter. They always had comfortable silences either way.

"I envy you," Hana murmured. "For having direction in your life," she explained. She looked down to the ground, contemplating her own thoughts.

Mori watched as she fidgeted with her painted nails, her eyes in a daze. He didn't know what she was thinking but he didn't want to pry unless he deemed it appropriate. A few minutes passed, and Mori broke the silence.

"You don't?"

 _You don't have a direction?_ was what he meant. She understood him just fine.

She was quiet for so long that Mori thought she hadn't heard him, or even chose to ignore his question. But instead, she whispered something to herself, just loud enough for Mori to hear.

"Not yet."

* * *

 **A/N** : In regards to their university majors, engineering for Honey was mentioned in the manga, I believe. But Philosophy for Mori was a choice made by me, haha. Anyway, the story is moving along (at a glacial pace) - I appreciate your patience for sticking by. Mori is a difficult character to write, but he's still very... intriguing, so to speak. He gives me a lot to work with, but it's also difficult to develop his character with such little dialogue coming from him. If you all are willing to bear with me, I appreciate it. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The thing about being a model was that you were often recognized, but especially recognized when you were with celebrities and the alike. Hana Sawada was almost never pictured with any, unless it was for purely professional reasons.

No after-parties for magazines, brands, or clothing lines. No parties just in general. No particular friends in the industry. Thus, rarely any paparazzi were interested when they could have been following more high-profile celebrities. And for that, it allowed Hana to focus on her studies while being on or off the job.

"Don't you ever feel lonely, Hana?" Hiro sat on her bed as usual, watching as she typed up a report of sorts. Hiro had homework too but he was in no rush to finish it.

"Not really," Hana answered. "I'm always busy."  
"I worry about you. You've been so distant lately, even mother has been asking where you have been."

Hana turned back to her computer. She was in no mood to be talking about their mother, especially when she had to tackle her assignments. Hiro watched as his sister swiftly avoided the conversation as soon as he brought up their mother.

There was a knock on her door. Hiro called for the person to come in before Hana could even open her mouth. She gave a glare to her brother. A maid cautiously stepped in, apologising for intruding on the siblings and their discussion.

"Your mother wants me to remind you to get ready for the Suoh event tonight. You too, Hiro."

The siblings nodded and the maid left. Hana had been dreading this event for too long. But Hiro pulled something from behind.

"Also, I saw your shoot with Klein," Hiro flipped through the magazine to a picture of her kissing another male model for an ad campaign for the Hitachiins. "This is _not_ what I want to see my little sister doing, kissing some… okay, very attractive guy who is probably older than you—"  
"—Hiro. It was just part of the job."

Her brother scowled. "No. Unacceptable."  
"I'm sixteen," Hana offered. "Old enough to be kissing boys."  
"Nope."  
"Don't be ridiculous."  
"I won't have any of it." He crossed his arms.

Hana rolled her eyes which elicited Hiro to ruffle his sister's hair that was in a perfect braid. Hana was unamused by her brother's actions. Hiro proceeded to envelope his sister in his arms.

"You're my sister. Any guy who wants to be with you goes through me first."  
"You can't even pack a punch," she pointed out. _Good thing I can._  
"I will be willing to smash my guitar when I use it as a weapon."  
"Okay," she smiled.

Hiro pulled away to finally see a smile on his sister's face. That's what he missed. His number one fan wasn't allowed to be unhappy.

* * *

Side by side, the Sawada siblings looked very different besides their height and the same coloured eyes. Hiro had dark hair, mono lidded eyes with a chiseled nose and thick lips paired with a square jaw. Hana, whose hair was dyed an ashy brown, had large doe eyes, ones that foreigners were known to have. With thin lips and a v-shaped face, many people speculated plastic surgery.

But when compared to their childhood pictures, the two looked exactly the same as they did as children.

 _How could they possibly be related?_ Outsiders wondered.

Hana and Hiro did their duties, shaking hands, bowing their heads and making small talk whenever they were called upon in discussion with other affluent families.

"Hana," their mother called out for her daughter. "Come introduce yourself to Keito."

The girl stepped forward and plastered a smile on her face to the boy in front of her. She held out her hand and told him her name. He did the same, and shyly turned away with a blush on his face.

Keito's mother brushed off her son's shy behaviour. "He's star struck by your beauty, Hana. Being a model and all, of course."  
Hana pretended to laugh, but watched Keito's eyes who looked past her. He was staring at Hiro. Hana stepped back and nudged Hiro instead, trying to do Keito a favour. But it was too late, Hana's mother had already moved somewhere else, and Keito had already turned around.

The girl was pulled aside by her mother.

"Keito is a nice looking boy, isn't he? Heir to an investment banking corporation, and he's only two years older."

Hana gently pried her mother's grip off her arm and said hello to the approaching family, swiftly ignoring her mother's hints to choose a bachelor to marry. Hiro followed in suit, introducing himself to the new boy. His hair was dyed a light brown, eyes losing focus on Hiro while he stared at Hana instead.

"My family owns a lot of real-estate. We have a villa in the mountains," the boy who introduced himself as Arashi boasted. Their mothers were off to the side, gossiping about who knows what.

Hana was going to reply with a snide comment, but Hiro stepped in between Arashi and Hana.

"As do we," Hiro politely answered.

"So, Hana," Arashi twisted his neck so he could catch a glimpse of her behind Hiro who was effectively third-wheeling their entire conversation. "You model, huh?"

Hana only nodded and apologised for cutting their time short since their mother had been gesturing them to move along. She latched herself onto Hiro's arm and exhaled.

"I wish you had your guitar here."  
"Me too, Hana," Hiro grumbled. "But that Keito guy was cute."  
"Because he was into you," the sister laughed for the first time in the evening.

Hana and Hiro found themselves trailing behind their mother during most events, while their father was off with other businessmen. As a result, it was a lot of hello and goodbyes, handshakes and smiling. All of course, with champagne travelling around and beautiful gowns.

"Oh thank goodness, look it's Tamaki. He's here to get us." Hiro breathed a sigh of relief.

While the Sawada matriarch was busy speaking to another woman, Hiro took this chance to let his mother know that he would be spending time with the Suohs, who were hosting the event. One could not deny the opportunity for their child to mingle with the Suohs, one of the most affluent families in the room.

Hana was swept away by her brother to another part of the building. They followed Tamaki down the halls, away from the crowds and the stifling atmosphere.

"Where are we going?" Hana wondered.

"To a dinner party, hosted by yours truly," Tamaki happily answered while he led them to a different room.

* * *

"Aye, have you all seen Hana Sawada's ad campaign for our line?" Hikaru waved the magazine in the air.

The Host Club was gathered by Tamaki for a dinner party. He figured it would have been appropriate, given that their families were all invited.

Honey perked up. "Hana-chan is in that magazine too?" Hiro always brought magazines of his sister, laying the around the Host Club room. Kyouya didn't seem to mind, seeing as it often caught the attention of female customers gushing over Hiro proudly showing off his sister. It brought profit.

Hikaru gave the magazine off to Honey who sat on a stool with Mori peering from behind. Honey absentmindedly flipped through the magazine, coming across photos of Hana in peacoat jackets for the winter, oversized sweaters paired with skirts and leggings. She modelled alongside a male model who had his hands on her waist, his gaze fixated on her while Hana looked straight into the camera with her lips half parted, her eyes narrowed. The next few pages had the two growing closer in proximity, until the male model's lips were on her neck and the next shot was his lips on top of hers.

Mori found himself feeling strangely uncomfortable while he stared through these photos.

"Gets pretty racy, huh?" Kaoru smirked.

It was at that moment where Hiro and his sister stepped through the door with Tamaki. Mori's eyes were still reading the article, an interview with the male model and his experience working with one of Japan's rising teen models. He captured words like _lips,_ _soft,_ and _sweet_ over the shoulder of Honey, the last sentence with the phrase of _extremely professional_.

"Hey, no, no, no, is that the magazine where my precious sister is getting violated by that ridiculously attractive model?" Hiro was quick to snatch the magazine. He glared at the twins, knowing that they must have been the ones to bring this around.

Mori's attention was quickly diverted to the familiar face at the doorway, dressed in a cream coloured gown with flower details sewn on the skirt with beads. Hana turned around to reveal a long V dip until the small of her lower back. She closed the door and waited for her brother to calm down.

She was greeted by Kyouya who easily avoided the chaos between the Twins and her brother, with Tamaki somehow in the mix. Mori watched while the two converse for quite some time. Haruhi walked up to the guest and introduced herself as the newest member.

 _She's worth a merit if Kyouya has been conversing with her for so long._ Mori thought. He suddenly found his cousin approaching the model, tugging on the hem of her gown to interrupt her discussion with Kyouya.

"Hana-chan, your pictures are so beautiful. Hiro always brings your magazines in."

Hana crouched down to Honey's height and spoke to him at an equal level. People didn't do that often. Usually, people would stand at ease, looking down at his cousin while they admired his adorable nature. But Hana never did that, she always crouched down and looked him in the eyes while Honey stood comfortably without having to crane his neck. He noticed his cousin smiling and laughing freely with the model who effortlessly continued the conversation.

Mori followed his cousin as usual, keeping a safe distance so as to not interrupt the two. Kyouya walked over to the quiet one, jotting something down on his tablet. His height gave him the luxury of being able to freely glance over the Ootori's shoulder in one swoop, noting another minus sign beside Hiro's name. Kyouya of course, was not the one to ignore Mori's gaze from behind.

"It costs to ask an Ootori for financial advice," Kyouya explained but said nothing further.

All of the Host Club and their honorary guest sat down for dinner, and Tamaki made a toast to friendship during the meal while Mori snuck glances at Hana who ate quietly and smiled. She excused herself after the dessert to use the restroom.

When Honey took a small nap to recover from eating too much dessert, the rest of the Host Club had decided to enjoy their company together. Hana still hadn't come back.

"She's probably on the phone sorting something out for her job," Hiro waved off.

Mori slipped away from the room without notice, and immediately he felt a cold breeze. Curious, he walked around the halls to find the source of the draft. The first thing he recognized was the V-lined dress, her bareback in the cold winter air while she casually leaned on the railings on the balcony. Luckily the dress had sleeves, but Mori could only imagine how cold it must have been for her.

He took his blazer off and approached her from behind, draping the jacket over her shoulders while keeping a good grip on her elbows. He felt her immediately tense up before relaxing to recognize who was behind her.

"You scared me," she murmured. "I was going to elbow you."

Mori saw that coming and smiled to himself. "Sorry."

"Thanks," Hana murmured. "I was… just getting some fresh air."

Mori made an affirming noise and leaned on the railing with her. He turned his back against the railing while she faced forward. It made it less obvious when he snuck glances at her. She was in a daze, her eyes narrowed while she contemplated thoughts that Mori wish he knew. There was something about her that made him feel comfortable.

"You too?"  
"Yeah," he lied, looking away from her. Mori just wanted to see if she was alright. If she was lost, or caught in a situation. Or… he just wanted to see her again.

He always found her contemplating her thoughts. Hana always looked forlorn. Busy in her thoughts. Busy with life. Busy, with no break. The only time he had seen her take time away from her forlorn self was on the mat when they fought.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, just low enough for her to hear. Just enough to distract her from her thoughts for just a moment. Enough to place a small smile on her face. It just rolled off his tongue, effortlessly. He meant it in the most innocent sense, a sincere compliment.

"Thank you," Hana looked him in the eye when she thanked him. She reciprocated his sincerity. "And you look very handsome tonight."

He looked away, pretending to divert his gaze elsewhere.

"Thank you for keeping me company out in the cold," Hana added. He answered with a _hm._ "You didn't have to."

He shrugged. _I wanted to_.

"Have your bruises… healed?" Hana remembered their last encounter. It was weeks ago by now.  
He nodded. "And yours?"  
She nodded too.

The wind whistled in the background, as if coaxing them to make conversation.

"Your brother…"  
"He's a handful," Hana laughed. "He's jealous that I got to kiss the model while he didn't, I'm sure."

Mori raised an eyebrow. Hana didn't bat an eye. It wasn't a secret. Hiro never hid it. It was just something people never brought up, or even noticed.

He watched as she looked below the balcony, easing back into her usual self. Forlorn. Questioning. Confused. Lost. It was all over her face. It was something no one else seemed to see. No one else that was allowed to see, perhaps. But even in her forlorn state, Mori could not help but to feel oddly elated by her presence.

Granted, they only saw each other occasionally. Perhaps every couple of months, under the right circumstances. They led lives that were complete opposites. How could their paths possibly cross? But it was that exact thought that made Mori wonder. How was he allowed to cross paths with her like this? It must have been a gift, some kind of entangled fate. Some stroke of luck. Anything.

"Do you run?"

Mori snapped out of his daze. "Now?"

Hana laughed. "Yes, in the cold with me in my gown and heels."

Mori smiled at his own silliness, embarrassed that he didn't logically think it through. He really should have been listening. The girl took her phone off the ledge and handed it to him. His hand lingered at her cold fingertips. He wondered if it had been the cold that made him pause. Either way, he didn't mind the lingering.

"I run when I'm not training with my grandfather. Maybe, instead of sparring, we could… take a run instead?" her tone hopeful. "I… I don't know when or if I even can but… I'd to like run with you. No sparring. Just a good run. You and I."

Mori took her phone and typed in his number without question. He dove into his pocket and handed her his own phone so she could do the same. Quickly, she typed in her number and they exchanged phones. Hana placed her phone on the ledge again, this time putting the phone on silent so that they wouldn't be interrupted. She was kept warm by his jacket that comfortably sat on her shoulders. The cold winter air was a refreshing change to the stuffy atmosphere indoors.

The boy glanced at his fingers. He wasn't sure if he was cold, or if it was from her touch. But his fingers tingled after separating his hands from hers. She was so cold and yet she chose to stay outdoors without complaint. Mori cleared his throat.

"You like running?"  
"It clears my mind," she explained. "It… distracts me. How about you?"  
Mori shrugged. _It's alright, I guess._

He contemplated what to say. He wondered what she spoke to Kyouya about. Just as he was about to ask, she beat him to the finish line. He was thankful she was more of a natural conversationalist than he was. Everything fell into place with her. There was something very comforting about that.

"How are you?" Hana asked. "I probably should have begun with that, instead of trying to elbow you." She searched in his eyes for some kind of answer. She was still learning how to understand him. Mori could tell. The effort she made, the way she gazed at him with such concentration.

Mori only replied with _good_. Nothing more. Nothing less. A satisfactory answer for most people.

"Genuinely," she added. It wasn't quite as satisfactory as he hoped.

Mori shrugged. He didn't have much on his mind aside from Honey, kendo, and his studies. He lived simply.

"Your silence… sometimes worries me. I often wonder if I'm annoying you and you're just an incredibly polite person to stay without complaint. Either that, or you're just a very patient and kind person. The latter, is what I'd like to believe," Hana explained.

She didn't know that her presence was enough for him to feel like he was the one being given the favour. The favour of being the one to listen. The favour of being trusted. Mori was just unsure about how to express that. But he was not the one to complain about being seen as kind and patient.

"Are _you_ alright?" Mori turned the conversation over.  
"Fine," Hana lied.  
"Genuinely," he added, mirroring the same line she used on him.

Hana chuckled to herself. She should've seen that coming. He waited for her to meet his eyes. Hana could tell he knew more than what he led on, he had a gut feeling that he relied on.

"I don't know," Hana murmured. "We all obey our parents, simply because we don't know what else to do. We do our duties, because we're taught that it is right. But I question… my duties."

She turned from the ledge and leaned on the balcony railing with her back, putting her in the same position as Mori side by side. Mori turned his head to wait for her to continue.

"Am I doing the right thing? Is my life just… pretty smiles and hand shaking? I am nothing but a pawn to join families together. But my brother is… well, he is everything. He'll be respected. He'll be _useful_. He gets autonomy. I get… well, what do I get?"

Mori hadn't realized that fact. She was destined to marry someone of the same social standing. Like that model she was photographed kissing. It felt like a punch in the gut. Suddenly, things were put into perspective. She was the mountain. He was the sea. They were on two different standings. And yet, the mountain moved to be by the sea. Mori gazed at her. She looked down on the ground.

"I get… to look pretty in front of a camera. And for a while, I thought I had a purpose. Maybe, a direction in life. But tonight, I realized I did not. Not at all. I have no control over what happens in the future."

Hana sighed and looked up from the ground. It was unfair for him to have to listen to all the swirling thoughts in her mind. She wished that he didn't have to burden him like this.

She put on a smile and took off his jacket and handed it to the boy who kept her company for the night. Her eyes were tired, exhausted from life. Still lost, wandering through the days that passed. He silently took the jacket from her, lingering at her cold fingertips again.

"I'll see you whenever, Morinozuka-san." She bowed and left Mori standing in the cold.

He watched as Hana composed herself again, her back straight and her powerful stride came to play. She put on the same shield and left with wounds still unhealed.

Oftentimes, Mori thought of her as a distant planet, or even the sun itself. A star. An object in the sky. Something that everyone could point out and could recognize. Everyone was fascinated by her. Captivated by her beauty. He only saw her from afar.

She was so distant. Perhaps that was why people were often so captivated by her. The mystery of what lies in the distance, fuelled by curiosity. But she was untouchable. She was too far away. But every once in a while, their orbits would align. Just enough so that Mori could see her closely, study her in ways others didn't.

And just like that, their orbits would continue while he waited patiently for the next time.

* * *

Hana boarded the plane to Seoul for another photoshoot. Travelling made her feel numb. The world seemed so monotonous to her as days moved forward. It was no ordinary life, travelling and modelling while studying. She had opportunities that people would die for. It was a cycle of guilt and confusion. Was she being a spoiled brat, ungrateful for the opportunities she had? _Probably._ Was she okay with that? _No._ And that was unsettling.

As she took her seat, she checked her phone for messages before turning it off for a long nap.

 _You'll find your purpose someday._

The text was sent in the early morning days ago, buried beneath phone calls and other text messages.

She mulled over the words, reading the message over and over again.

 _Someday._

* * *

 **A/N:** A relatively short chapter this time around. I'm still churning out the pre-written chapters I had before, so I apologize for the lack of consistency in length (if that bothers any of you). I wanted to post this up now, in an attempt to update more frequently - anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts. The pace is slow, and I too, am struggling (with both these characters). Like I said last chapter, I appreciate your patience and your time! More thoughts over on my tumblr, if you're so inclined to hear about the writing process.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"This is excellent. What a great photo-op, oh goodness. This is wonderful," her mother gushed. "I can't believe I never thought of this career move."

Hana bit her tongue. _Patience._

It was a long day from a shoot in the blazing sun. Her cheeks were still sore from the fake smiles and her feet swollen from the ill-fitting shoes she had to wear for hours on end. She wanted to sleep, or at least sit down. Her flight was scheduled in 6 hours to fly to Cambodia from Marseilles. But instead she was met by her mother in the dressing room who clutched a copy of a magazine that named her an ambassador to a charity.

"It's not a career mo—" the model was in the midst of gritting out a sentence before she was interrupted by a phone call.

"Hana, did you make Kyouya sift through financial records of various charities?!" Hiro barked on the other line. "Because he's docking my pay because of you. How did you even get in contact with him?"

Hana had two people speaking simultaneously and her patience was waning thin.

"Let me call you back, Hiro." Hana hung up abruptly and dealt with her mother next. Hiro was more understanding and Hana knew that her brother would eternally forgive her. But her mother was a different story. The woman didn't even notice that her child had just ended a phone call. Hana's mother was in the midst of flipping through the magazine, admiring the photos of her daughter.

"Hana, this is wonderful. This moves you up the ladder to becoming a socialite and—"  
"That's not the point of—"  
"—Your marriage prospects are going to increase now that your image—"  
"This isn't about the ima—"  
"—isn't _just_ a pretty face."

Just the phrase itself was enough to trigger Hana into grabbing the nearest thing and wanting to hurl it at her mother.

 _You don't fight recklessly. You fight strategically. Do not be stupid._

Her arms stiffened. "I need a break."

"What was that?" Her mother turned around to face her child. Her child was leaning on the wall with her hand gripping the hairbrush until her knuckles were white.

"I. Need. A. Break." Hana closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths. She wasn't about to lose her patience. Not yet. Not quite.

"Oh… yes of course, you need to rest. I'll see you in Tokyo, darling." Her mother grabbed her handbag and left the room, smiling to herself. The door closed with a small creak.

Hana waited 10 seconds before throwing a hairbrush across the room, easily making a dent in the wall. The model collapsed onto the chair, tired and frustrated. It was _not_ a photo-op opportunity. It was a genuine opportunity to help a charity and—

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Hana called.

Her agent walked in, peeking into the room. "I heard a loud bang. And—" Her head turned towards the white wall that used to be smooth. But instead, she noticed the drywall cracked and obviously dented. "Oh my god. Did _you_ do that?!"

The model laughed.

"Me? Please, like I'd ever have the strength."

* * *

Mori flipped through the magazine that was left on the table.

They were candids of the model spending time with Cambodian children in a small classroom, while she smiled and played with the kids. Another photo of her arms crossed as she listened to the villagers teach her about the well, and the water they lugged from kilometres on end. The next shot was her carrying a tub of water with other volunteers, face darkened by the sun.

"Mother said that these photos are ruining her prospects in marriage," Hiro joked. "But I think she's cute, even while she's applying bug spray and her knees blackened by dirt."

Tamaki sighed. "You're such a wonderful brother, Hiro." His eyes welled up in tears, being his usual emotional self. He admired how precious Hiro treated his own sister.

"Aye, Tono, calm down," the Twins grumbled. "No one wants to see you cry again."

Honey was perched over Mori's shoulders, looking over the magazine just as his cousin had.

"Hana-chan is so kind, isn't she, Takashi? I'd love to share my cake with her."

The club was spending a weekend getaway in the mountains, with Hiro volunteering his villa in an attempt to settle his debt with the Shadow King. It had been months since Hana had recruited Kyouya to go over the financial records of various charities and Hiro was still stuck with unpaid debt. He figured that this opportunity would let him off the hook. Meanwhile, Haruhi wasn't so lucky as she was terrified of coming along and having more debt added to her account by the Shadow King. It would be their last summer as the whole host club, given that Mori, Honey and Hiro were leaving Ouran by September.

It was already the evening, the sun had already set and the entire club had gathered around the common area to relax and sing with Hiro's guitar providing the background music. Kyouya, as always, sat out. While the rest of the group was happy to participate, Mori often stayed silent as he sat with the group. The entire group stopped when they heard the door jiggle.

"Do you… do you think it's a bear?" Tamaki whispered. They were in the middle of the mountains with forest surrounding them. It was a fantastic view until they were reminded of the wildlife.  
"Nonsense, a bear can't unlock a door…" Hiro gulped.  
"Or… can it?" the Twins finished.

Hana successfully opened the door to a group of teenagers who screamed for their lives. Mori was the first to recognize the figure with a blue bag and a backpack.

"Uh," Hana closed the door calmly before proceeding. "Hiro, I thought this place was empty but, I guess I could… head back…" She wasn't here to intrude on her brother's friends. She wasn't even invited.

Hiro put his guitar down and scrambled to get out of his circle of friends after recognizing the familiar figure. He gave her a large hug before saying a word. He kissed his sister's forehead before breaking apart.

"You're always welcome. It's _our_ villa after all. What made you come?"

Hana shook her head to brush off the question. "Just wanted some peace and quiet, nothing much."

The model looked around the place and counted 8 people including her. Their villa only had 6 bedrooms. Hiro patted her back and reminded her that the Twins would double up to sleep in one room.

"Takashi and I can sleep together, right?" Honey nudged his cousin. Mori only nodded, keeping his view on Hana who felt embarrassed for having Hiro's friends accommodate for her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," she apologised. Hana bowed to show her respect.

Tamaki ran over in a dramatic fashion as usual. "No, mademoiselle. We are your friends! No need for such grand gestures! We enjoy your company as much as we enjoy Hiro's."

Hana retired to bed almost immediately after greeting the rest of the club, citing her fatigue after a long week of work. Mori watched her tiredly smile as she tried to keep up with the antics of the host club. She met his eyes before she left, not to say goodbye but rather a hello. An acknowledgement of his presence, to let him know that he was appreciated. She took note of the magazine in his lap.

Mori hadn't noticed how much he appreciated her presence until she left for the night.

* * *

The sun wasn't even up but neither was the entire Host Club. It was a Saturday, and since Mori was up in the mountains, he had to take a break from his regular kendo sessions. It was 5 AM in the morning and Mori decided to take a quick jog. He didn't know his way around the area, but the boy wasn't particularly afraid of getting lost. There must have been a trail to follow somewhere.

When he made it down the stairs and towards the door, he noticed Hana tying her running shoes. She too, looked to see who would be up so early. Hana smiled at him, not surprised by his presence. It was Saturday, after all. She tilted her head at the door as if to tell him to follow her.

And so he did.

They walked out of the villa, listening to the crickets still chirping and the birds beginning to wake.

She stretched her legs before beginning her run, and Mori did the same. Her eyes searched for his, almost to ask if he was ready.

He was.

Her pace started slow, leading him towards a trail that disappeared into the forest. But as soon as they were surrounded by trees, the terrain began to change. He felt the steepness of the trail in his calves, his heart pounding faster and faster while she quickened her pace. Mori towered over the girl, but all he could see was her back and the ponytail swinging back and forth, itching him to move faster to keep up.

He didn't have the time to take in the scenery when he was on the verge of losing her in the midst of the wilderness. He heard his short breaths in the quiet forest, off sync with hers. She too, was getting tired. Hana refused to let the terrain pull her down as she begrudgingly moved forward against the hill.

Mori noticed how quick footed she was, easily avoiding branches and the roots of trees embedded into the ground. Her feet never losing a beat. She must have been very familiar with the trail. It wasn't until they had reached more level terrain that she slowed her pace. Hana moved towards the edge of the trail, getting dangerously close to the steep cliffs.

Mori almost grabbed her arm, thinking she was about to fall off the trail but instead she plopped herself down on the rocks and invited him to the same by patting a spot beside her. She faced the view of two trees which just so happened to provide a small window for the sun rising.

"I…" Hana was still trying to catch her breath. "I thought we were going to miss it." She laughed at her silliness. "I guess this was the run I never got around to inviting you to."

Mori was still breathing heavily, but as soon as he caught sight of the sun, he stopped thinking about the physiological effects. Immediately, his eyes were captured by the colours of the sky, a beautiful gradient that ranged from red to yellow and finally blue. He took a deep breath of the morning air, cool and crisp. He turned to watch the girl beside him.

She closed her eyes and exhaled. The golden light kissed her skin, her face glowing in the sunlight. Hana felt so serene, taking in the moment with the beautiful view and letting the endorphins do their job after a challenging run. Mori was unsure whether to keep his eyes on Hana or the sunrise. Both were breathtaking in their own regard.

"It's nice to get away," Hana was oblivious to his stare. She was still enchanted by the sunrise. "I feel like I can breathe after so long."

Mori made an affirming noise.

"I feel like, one day… I won't be able to get away like this." Hana didn't even have a chance for her brain to process whether it was even appropriate to share her inner thoughts so effortlessly. But for some odd reason, they felt mutually comfortable. They were old friends. Old friends that never quite knew each other enough.

"Why?" he asked. Hana forgot about how deep his voice was. He was quiet, but even so, the register made her ears perk up. It wasn't often that she heard him speak.

"Duties," Hana murmured. She looked down from the edge of the cliff that they sat. There was something oddly comforting about the scenery. Something exhilarating about sitting on the edge of a rock, and yet they wouldn't ever fall. They wouldn't let themselves fall. She felt in control, a rare feeling nowadays.

"To your job?" Mori offered in explanation.

Hana shook her head. "To my family. To uphold societal values. To stay naïve and pretty. To listen to my mother, my manager, the photographer… however much I question it all, it is the only thing I know how to do well."

Mori stayed silent. She leaned forward towards the edge of the cliff, threatening herself to fall. But she pulled straight back, laying back on the ground with her feet dangling off the edge and chuckled to herself. The cold rock against her back reminded her that she was alive with her warm blood rushing through her veins.

"Sorry," Hana closed her eyes. "I didn't mean to ruin the atmosphere with my thoughts. It's nothing." She sat back up and took a look at Mori. His gaze faced her, his eyes soft as though they yearned to say something to comfort her. But he couldn't. And Hana only smiled. She couldn't have expected him to say anything.

"The view is beautiful here, isn't it?" she quickly changed the topic and focused on the scenery, the sun had already risen.

Mori didn't break his gaze towards her. She shined like the sun.

"Yes."

* * *

They walked back slowly, letting their legs rest as they returned back to the villa. The birds and crickets came alive, settling in the background of their comfortable silence. The downhill trail gave way to Hana losing her balance a couple times, each time with Mori steadying her shoulders from the back while she lead him forward.

"Thanks," Hana mumbled. "Probably would have fallen over by now if it weren't for you."

He stayed silent, focusing on her steps and making sure she didn't hurt herself. She stopped for a second, checking the time on her watch. It was barely 7 in the morning.

"Do you want to go for a hike?" She turned around to ask him.

Mori hesitated for a brief moment, lost in her hopeful eyes. Hana shook her head when she noticed his hesitation. "Sorry. That must have been a rough trail to run so early in the morning. We could go back and rest instead. We'll keep going down this tr—"  
"—It's fine."

He shrugged. Honey was far from being awake, and Tamaki wouldn't dare to wake anyone else besides the Twins and Hiro but they would easily keep each other company.

Hana smiled. "You don't have to," she assured.

Mori shrugged again. _I'll come._

The girl looked into his eyes for a sign, to see if he was lying. But it was such a difficult task given that he spoke very little. Hana came to the conclusion that he wouldn't lie to her. It just didn't seem like his character to do so.

Hana continued walking and when they reached a fork in the dirt trail, she took another route, straight through the trees.

"Come often?"

Hana shook her head. "Not anymore. Hiro and I used to come up here every summer until he began high school. I found this trail a couple months ago at the end of winter when I needed some time on my own."

Winter must have been incredibly dangerous, especially when daylight was scarce and there were few humans around.

 _What were you doing?_ He wanted to ask. It seemed like such a poor idea to even come in the midst of winter, to the wilderness no less. Hana shrugged as if she had expected him to ask. It was a crazy, dangerous idea to explore the woods.

"I was… escaping," Hana sensed that he wanted to ask why. Any logical person wouldn't come to a place like this in the midst of winter. She cryptically answered his question and continued walking.

Mori didn't pry. Instead he followed her closely, watching as her head darted back and forth to piece together the landmarks she used from memory. They hiked in silence, letting the crack of branches or the birds fill the background noise.

"I actually hate my job," Hana blurted out. The silence nagged her. Something about his presence begged for her to share her inner thoughts. "I do it because… I feel obligated to. It gets me away from my mother, but that feels like the only perk, nowadays. Every once in a while though, I need a break."

Hana continued her trek, with Mori trailing closely behind. She picked up a couple wildflowers along the way, forming the beginnings of a bouquet.

"But when I come back to reality, I have my whole life planned out. Schedules made, flights booked, tutoring sessions planned, and my future set by my mother."

They came to a particularly steep climb but it didn't stop Hana from slowing her pace. Her feet sprung across the rocks that zig-zagged their way up the hill, easing the transition for the hikers. They made it back on a dirt trail, on higher ground. They went through periods of silence before Hana would speak, carefully contemplating each thought.

"Something feels wrong about that, you know? Being surrounded by heirs, heiresses and alike. We all have duties to uphold, a future paved for us. Like no work had to be done."

There was a small bench, or rather a log with a quarter of it carved out horizontally. Hana took this opportunity to rest and to adjust her hair. There was no need for her hair to hang above her head anymore. Mori watched as Hana swiftly braided her hair, managing to stick in a couple wildflowers in the braid. He couldn't help but to think she looked like she was some kind of goddess of the forest, with wildflowers in her hair and the way she navigated the woods. His stare went unnoticed as she spoke.

Her voice flowed quietly through the wind, as though she belonged with the tranquil forest.

"I think… I just wanted to gain perspective," Hana finished off the braid. "Outside of how we live. I was fuelled by curiosity, and met by my naivety. I was trying to find a sort of purpose in life but… it wasn't how I thought it would turn out."

Mori thought back to the photos he saw of her in that magazine. He pieced together the feature of her in Cambodia.

"How unaware I was about the privileges we held, the way we live, and how inexplicably guilty I felt for being kept in the dark. How little they had, and how much more they needed."

Hana got up from the bench and gestured Mori to do the same. They continued up the trail, listening to the birds chirp and the cool breeze whispering through the air. Hana took another moment to contemplate. She exhaled and sighed.

"The trip wasn't meant for that kind of attention. It was months ago now," she confessed, in reference to the photos in the magazine she saw the night before on Mori's lap. Hiro always kept track of the magazines she was in, and it would have been odd if the Host Club hadn't known about it.

They were getting close, Mori could feel it in her pace. She walked quicker, excited for the view. But in the midst of their treacherous hike, Hana kept voicing her thoughts almost as if he didn't exist. As soon as Mori felt like he had hidden himself away, she was acutely aware of his existence, careful to warn him of an embedded tree root or a rock that she nearly tripped on.

Mori was captivated by her thoughts. Like he was listening to a story that never wanted to end. She acknowledged him, she trusted him, and that was much more than he could ever ask for. There was something intangible about the feeling of trust. Something inexplicable. Something honourable. He knew a part of her that no one else seemed to notice.

"But I'm a fraud." Her sentence caught him off guard, and out of his own thoughts. Hana's tone suddenly turned dark, her words in a murmur. "What can a model do besides pose and look pretty? What difference am I meant to make? I would be a fool to think I made a difference in the world. Even my mother thought the entire thing was a publicity stunt."

Hana stopped abruptly, leading Mori to look up from the ground and at the new surroundings. They reached a peak, where the city of Tokyo could be seen. With the sun in the sky, and the flowers blossoming, the petals fell effortlessly with the wind. She checked the time. It was a little past 8. The hike back downhill would be much quicker, especially at the pace they went at. Mori kept up wordlessly but swiftly.

"So I came here," she gestured to the view of the city. "To sort out all the white noise in my head."

Mori admired the view, letting the crisp morning air cool him down. It was a good workout. Not quite as demanding as he was used to, but certainly a challenge. He turned away from the cityscape and glanced at Hana who had her arms crossed and her eyes fixated on the miniature buildings far away. She looked forlorn.

"You weren't posing," Mori murmured. The smile he saw, the exhausted expression on her face, and the way she squinted at the bright summer sun, all of the photos were genuine candid shots.

"Hm?" Hana turned to face Mori, looking up to meet his face. The boy looked down at the girl, whose ashy brown hair had loosely fallen apart with strands framing her face and flowers caught in the midst of her braid. She wore a blue t-shirt and black tight-fitting athletic pants. She gave a small smile asking him to voice his thoughts.

"Your intentions," Mori murmured. He turned away from her, afraid that he had made her feel uncomfortable by staring at her for too long. "They're genuine."

Hana mulled over his sentence.

"Thank you."

It was a simple gesture to voice your gratitude. Hana hadn't expected him to say such a thing, or to even say anything at all. He said more through his presence than anything. It was a strange feeling, something Hana hadn't ever experienced.

There was this sense of trust between each other, something about Mori made her feel safe. He was quiet and peaceful. He was a constant that Hana needed in her life, away from the chaotic and busy lifestyle she lived. With the glitz and glamour, travelling and keeping up with her academics – she needed this.

What he said made her feel relieved. A burden lifted off her shoulders. A sign to remind her that she was doing something right. Whatever it was, Hana could only wish that the time she had with him lasted longer.

"Morinozuka-san," Hana didn't quite like the way it rolled off her tongue. His friends called him Mori. But between each other, they never addressed each other by name, or even surname. She hesitantly asked something that had been on her mind for some time.

Mori turned to face her again, looking down at her expression of hesitance. It was a familiar sight. She scratched the back of her neck, and took a breath. What could it have been to make her feel so nervous?

"May I call you Takashi? It's just… I don't know," the girl shook her head, shrugging off the request and felt embarrassed for even asking such a thing. Mori watched as she shifted her body towards the scenery, pretending like that blunder hadn't even happened. He couldn't help but to smile to himself.

"Hana." He reciprocated.

It sounded right to him.

* * *

"Do you ever feel trapped?"

They were slowly making their way downhill, taking their sweet time in the calming forest. The trees provided them shade, with sunlight occasionally filtering through the green leaves.

"Hm?" Mori stopped when she turned around. Hana shrugged.

"You… take care of Honey as a duty," she mumbled. "Do you ever wonder… or, I mean – never mind. I'm sorry." Hana continued walking, unsure whether or not she crossed a boundary back there. Was it appropriate for her to ask about his life choices? No. Absolutely not, she thought. It was his life, his decisions, and his own reasoning to commit to his duties as per tradition. He did not question his duties like she did.

Mori raised an eyebrow at the girl who brushed off her own question, almost embarrassed to have even thought of voicing her curiosity aloud. She walked ahead of him, as usual. He easily caught up to her, still silent.

"Am I selfish?" Her voice quietly resonated through the trees. Hana stopped in her tracks. She asked no one in particular. Was she selfish for wanting to deter from tradition? Tradition being what she was expected to become. A pretty face, a faithful wife, a linkage between two families to secure their wealth for generations on end.

Life seemed so _simple_ when one looked at it that way.

But something felt so wrong.

Mori put his hand on her shoulder, coaxing her to look up. He shook his head. He didn't know the context. But selfish was one of the last traits he would ever see Hana as. She looked back down, still in thought. She took a couple seconds before tilting her head back towards the trail so that they could continue walking.

 _Are humans inherently selfish?_ Mori pondered the thought during the silence.

"I'm sorry that you're constantly listening to me ramble," she was too scared to look him in the eye, for fear that he may have been irritated at her and he wouldn't be able to hide it any longer.  
"It's fine," Mori answered, with the same patient tone she always heard.

"Do you ever get angry?" Hana wondered. He was always in a calm state. Always in control. Even on the mat while they fought, he never panicked. He always had a goal in mind, a plan to follow.  
"Mm," he replied. It sounded affirming. Hana wasn't particularly sure.

"At what?"  
"Myself," Mori remembered how Honey had eaten too much sugar to the point where he got a toothache. It was Mori's fault for not taking notice.

Hana tilted her head in confusion. "What have you done so that you would be angry at yourself?"  
"I let Honey get a toothache."

Hana tried to fight a smile. But it grew to the point where she let out a giggle. It was Mori's turn to be confused. Why was that funny? She in turned patted his arm and smiled at him. She looked at him with such sincerity, Mori couldn't take his eyes off.

Hana nodded her head in understanding. "You're very loyal. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend."

 _You're very loyal._

People never quite voiced their appreciation for him like that. It gave him warmth. A kind of tingling feeling.

Hana looked up at him, his head slightly tilted downwards to shield her from the sun. His hair was still frazzled as usual, his jaw sharper than what she remembered but his eyes were so mesmerizing. She didn't know what he was trying to say, but even so, Hana couldn't help but to stare back.

He on the other hand, had his eyes fixated on the way she smiled. Not the kind he saw in magazines, not the sort of expression he'd seen her pose in with her eyes painted with makeup. It was raw. No makeup. No photoshop.

She was real.

And she was in front of him. The mountain moved to be beside him. Her orbit aligned beautifully for him to see her again.

And for that, it made him feel ridiculously lucky. What kind of fate allowed him to see her the way he did? Mori turned and looked towards the trail.

He wasn't going to question it.

* * *

 **A/N:** Your thoughts are incredibly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading up until here. I hope you're all willing to stay with me on this journey. I have things planned out and enormous gaps to fill in in order to connect ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Takashi, do you like being with me?" Honey posed this question late in their third year of Ouran. His cousin replied with an affirmative sound.

It was spring. Sakura trees were blossoming and the weather was improving. It was likely going to be their last year together, and Honey could not help but to feel guilty. It had been a nagging feeling for quite some time now, when he realized that there would be a day where him and his best friend would separate.

"But, do you ever want… anything more?"  
Mori shook his head, continuing their walk home without thinking much of his cousin's question.

Honey dropped the topic then. But now it was the middle of summer, the start of university approaching quickly. The little blonde was unsure whether Mori realized that they would have to spend their days separately, being in different programs and all.

He knew his cousin well. They had spent their entire life together. Honey had a growing feeling that Mori had this notion of still protecting him, regardless of what happened in the future. While it was his duty, Honey often saw Mori as an equal. He was by no means a servant.

Mori however, saw himself differently. He never thought of himself as a servant, he was only doing his duty. He had a tradition to uphold. There was no questioning such a concrete concept. His life revolved around Honey, no matter what.

The cousins were walking back from the cake shop on a summer's day during their vacation. Mori held his cousin's hand as they usually did. But today, Honey gently pried himself away, an action that surprised Mori.

"Takashi, do you ever feel trapped?"

Mori perked up at that question.

 _Do you ever feel trapped?_ Hana's voice replayed in his head. It was like déjà vu.

"Why?" The thought of being trapped never crossed his mind. Why would he ever feel trapped? Honey tugged onto the hem of his cousin's shirt, bringing him down to his height. Honey covered Mori's eyes, to which Mori obediently closed his eyes in response.

"If I asked you to follow me with your eyes closed, would you do it?"

Mori nodded, eyes still closed.

"You can't do that anymore," Honey sniffed. It was hard for him to tell his best friend to leave. But it had to be done. It was the best option for the two of them. Honey cared for Mori just as much as his cousin did for him. Honey swallowed the lump in his throat. "You cannot blindly follow me for the rest of your life."

Mori opened his eyes, the immediate sight was his cousin welling up with tears.

"I have to protect you," the giant murmured. "It is my duty."

Honey's tears began falling down his cheek while he shook his head. "You need to live freely, Takashi. I can't ask you to stay beside me."

"Do you want me to stay?"

Honey pouted. "You're my best friend. You're family. You are always with me." He hugged his cousin, who in return, picked him up from the ground and walked him home.

* * *

Hiro was given one year from his parents to pursue his hobby of music, as they called it. He was more than thrilled, seeing it as an opportunity to launch his own career. He was busy as ever, sending demos to companies while sharing his music through the internet and in nightclubs. Hiro barely caught a wink of sleep, but he couldn't be any happier.

So when the Sawada family came together for a dinner, it was a rare occasion. The siblings sat on one side of the table, while their parents sat opposite. Their father was never the one to talk, and it was usually their mother making conversation. She informed him of the lives of their children for the most part.

"Hana," their father cleared his throat. "What are your plans for the future?" He gave a quick glance at Hiro who ducked his head down. It was his mother who approved of a gap year, not his father who wanted him to go to university.

"I'm thinking New York," she answered.  
"Oh! New York! Yes, a fashion capital – perfect for your career, Hana. Absolutely wonderful," her mother gushed. She turned to her husband. "Don't you think—"  
"For business," she raised her voice. "I'm thinking of going to the Stern School."

Hiro looked up from his plate and stared at his sibling. His parents also put their cutlery down, equally surprised by the statement made by the youngest member of their family.

"What?" Hiro gasped.  
"Yeah, I… thought it would be a good idea. Finance is practical." Hana cut through her steak, looking down at her plate. She was made suddenly uncomfortable by the stares of her parents who took a moment to digest the information.

"Darling, you need not go to Stern," her mother waved off. "You'll be engaged in a few years at most, and you won't need to go through the hassles of scho—"  
"—Hiro could learn from that," the father glanced over to his son. Hiro shrugged.

"If push comes to shove, Hana could always inherit the company," the son suggested. "I could focus on my music and—"  
"Nonsense," their mother waved off. "Hiro, you can go explore during your youth. You do whatever you please but you'll come back to us, right dear?"  
The boy cleared his throat and reluctantly agreed. It was obviously a lie. Hana looked back down to her plate, feeling small again.

A blanket of silence covered the rest of the family's dinner. When dessert was served, Hana put down her cutlery and looked up from her plate. She had enough. The question had been nagging her ever since it had been brought up during the dinner.

"Why can't _I_ be the one to inherit the company?" Hana assertively asked.  
"Hana, don't be silly," her mother brushed her off.  
"This is not silly. This is a legitimate proposal. _I_ deserve to be the heir just as much as Hiro. I'll certainly be just as capable if I go to New Yo—"

"No," their father raised his voice. The girl fell silent. "You are not the heir and you will never be the heir."

The daughter got up from her seat and respectfully bowed. She left the table without another word. Hana could hear her brother calling out to her, but her mind was already made. She was going to NYU, and that meant getting a head start on her studies. This was her fight.

* * *

Without Honey, Mori buried his head in books while he was in university. He had loads of essays to write, and it seemed as though that was all he did. Papers to be submitted, readings to be done, lectures to attend. But in comparison to Honey's engineering schedule, his schedule was mild. He had a maximum of 3 classes a day.

It was only Mori that immersed himself in his academics. There was nothing else for him to do. Every time he stopped, he felt lost. Confused. Uneasy about what to do. Mori was used to living the simple life.

Training. Kendo. Academics. Honey.

Now, his grandfather spent time on Chika and Satoshi since the older grandchildren were off in university. Honey was much too busy with the engineering program to have time to spare. So that only left academics for him to focus on, and without it, Mori often found himself running. Running anywhere, through the park, past alleyways, around campus, in the neighbourhoods – you name it.

 _Do you run?_

He often heard her voice at the back of his mind while he sprinted.

 _It clears my mind. It… distracts me._

One day, he found himself in the park in the autumn. He ran around to wherever his legs took him, and today he had her voice replaying in his mind again. It was the same park they walked through a year ago with their grandparents after their sparring session that ended in a draw. His legs halted to a stop as his memories replayed. He panted and leaned against the tree. Mori waited for his body to recover.

 _I envy you… for having direction in your life._

He still remembered the way she looked at him when she said those words. But here he was, running without direction. Running because he needed a distraction. Mori now understood her in ways that he wished he could have a year before.

But he was too late. The only glimpse of her he had was through billboards and magazines. He hadn't seen her in months. He almost wished that she would show up again, somehow.

Mori snapped out of his daze when a dog barked at him, and then growled after getting the attention of the stranger. He pushed himself off of the tree and approached the animal, slowly at first. He was cautious enough so that the dog would come forward to sniff his hand before allowing the human to scratch its head. The pair had a couple of minutes before the owner came around, casually strolling.

"Takashi," the elder recognized the familiar figure. The dog obediently went back to its owner and plopped itself down on its hind legs. Mori instantly bowed out of respect. The park was nearby the elder Sawada's residence after all. He should have expected to see him.

"I see you have met Hana's replacement."

Mori stood back up and widened his eyes when he realized that the grandfather was speaking about the dog. He stifled a chuckle.

"It was actually her idea," the grandfather shrugged. "Told me that it would keep me company while she's gone, but all it has done is give me trouble." The dog whimpered at the tone of its owner. The grandfather huffed. The dog was smarter than what humans took it for.

"How old?" Takashi asked.  
"Only three months. They grow quickly. It is a guard dog, after all."

Mori nodded and kneeled down to pet the animal again. It had a beautiful fur coat, a sandy colour paired with snow white beginning from its snout to under its belly.

"What are you doing here?"  
"Running," he answered, still occupied with scratching the underside of the large sized puppy.  
"You training?"  
"Not anymore, Sawada-san," Mori replied.

The dog nuzzled its neck against the new friend. Mori got up, realizing that he must have taken up too much of the elder's time. He was in no place to be rude.

"Do you run often then, Takashi?" the elder was curious.  
"Weekends, usually."  
"Train with me," Sawada offered. "Old man like me with nothing else to do besides taking care of this goddamn dog. Besides, your old goon has two other little shits to take care of."

Mori nodded, careful not to smile at the language.

"Saturdays, 8 AM. You know where the dojo is. I will see you next week." The elder left swiftly with his dog, while Mori bowed.

* * *

It was winter break, and Hana had promised her grandfather that she would come around to spend time with him. With her applications for various universities submitted, and with her supplemental essays completed, Hana made the effort to clear her schedule for the rest of the month.

Hana bought a dozen apples and dog treats for Kaina. It was short for _yakkaina_ , aptly named by her grandfather who instantly called the puppy _annoying_ when Hana first brought the dog to his home.

" _You're kidding, Hana. An old man like me has no time for a tedious animal in the home._ "  
" _I promise you'll grow to love her. You have all the time in the world! Look, she'll keep you company while I'm gone. She can walk with you to the park now."_ The puppy comfortably sat in her arms, snuggling up to Hana. She put the small animal down and let it cautiously approach the stranger standing in front.  
" _I don't need a_ dog _to keep me company. I don't need anyone."_ The dog sniffed the legs of Hana's grandfather. It barked, as if asking for the man to look at her. It needed attention, like any regular puppy.  
" _Please? I have university applications to do while working and… I don't know if I can train—"  
"—Fine, god damn it. You know what that thing is? Yakkaina. Annoying as hell."_

Hana had the keys to her grandfather's home, given to her years ago when she needed to come around for whatever reason. _It's good to keep around, just in case._ Her grandfather said when he handed them to her. Instead, Hana often came around to just say hello, or to have a quick meal with her grandfather.

When she opened the doors of the traditional home, she was greeted by Kaina who was quick to recognize the intruder. It began sniffing around, obviously taking note of the treats that Hana brought over. The girl welcomed the nuzzling of the dog who had grown immensely since the last time she had seen it. Hana stepped into the home, realizing that no one was there.

She was quick to make herself home in the kitchen, slicing apples for her grandfather for when he came back home. Hana's ears perked up at the doors opening and called out for her grandfather.

"Ojii-san, I brought your favourite apples!" Hana made her way from the kitchen into the common area and nearly dropped the plate when she noticed someone other than her grandfather step through the door. He was carrying a large bag of dog food, and he was equally surprised to see her in the home.

He was dressed casually, with his usual windbreaker and sweatpants. His hair was messier than usual, due to the wind outdoors. He had a slight pink tint from his cheeks. It was rather chilly outdoors, but despite that, his feet were bare as he took his shoes off when he stepped into the home.

"Takashi?" Hana couldn't quite pinpoint why he would be here of all places.

"Hana," he reciprocated, though his tone was calmer and less questioning than hers.

The elder finally stepped through the doors with grocery bags to find the two staring at one another, frozen in place. He rolled his eyes at the behaviour of the children.

"Takashi has been training with me and offered to help me do some heavy lifting for the day," the grandfather explained. "I'll be in the kitchen. Stay for dinner, Takashi."

Mori couldn't even protest before the elder walked into the kitchen and began preparing their meal. Hana swiftly put down the apples onto the table and tried helping Mori with the weight on his hands. He easily diverted her offer of help by placing the kibble in its usual place. Hana thanked him before asking him to sit by the table for the apple slices.

They sat in silence for a bit, with Mori taking in the sight in front of him. She had a comfortable oversized knitted sweater that casually dipped down over one shoulder, paired with a simple silver necklace and black leggings that stopped right at her ankles to show her bare feet. Her long hair was tied up and swept to the side of her body, providing a bit of a blanket to her exposed shoulder. Mori finally made his way to her eyes, the large doe eyes that waited for him to meet with hers. He cleared his throat out of embarrassment for being caught staring.

"I appreciate you spending time with my grandfather," Hana whispered. She didn't seem to mind him staring. "I know how busy you must be with university and all. You really didn't have to."  
"It's fine." It became a regular phrase said by Mori.

Hana nodded. "Thank you." The sincerity of her tone did not go amiss.

Hana's grandfather prepared a simple meal. White rice, miso soup, some braised vegetables, and grilled fish. The dinner started off quietly, with a comfortable silence between all three. The elder Sawada broke the silence.

"It is your birthday soon, Hana."

The girl looked up from her rice bowl and took a moment to remember the date. Her birthday was only a few days away. She was born in December, when the winds grew stronger and the snow began to fall. It was the season where people bundled up to brave the weather. The season where all one can do is grit it out until clearer skies and better weather. Despite that, it was still her favourite season.

"Mm," Hana nodded and brushed off the fact. Mori tilted his head at the girl who took another sip of her miso soup. They finished off their meal in comfortable silence.

The elder Sawada cleared the table and left the two alone for a bit.

"How did you end up with my grandfather of all people?" Hana curiously asked. Kaina plopped herself beside Hana after missing her presence for months. Mori watched as the girl smiled at the animal, petting the coat with such delicacy with her cold fingers. He didn't know if they were cold, but he just imagined that they were. Something about her made him want to reach out and hold those hands.

"I was… running," Mori explained. "Through the park."

The sentence was enough for Hana to piece together what had happened. Hana was about to ask how his days at Toudai were, before her grandfather reappeared with a sake set and placed it on the table.

"You are turning 17, Hana. Have a drink with me."

Hana scowled. "The age of majority is 20, Ojii-san. Save it for three years."  
"Will you be here in three years? Better yet, will _I_ be here in three years?"  
"Ojii-san! Don't say such things," the granddaughter scolded.

Mori felt a small smile creep up to his face. He never had such relations with his own grandfather, seeing that he had a total of four grandchildren to divvy up his attention to. It was an interesting experience to be a part of Hana's interaction with her grandparent.

Hana sighed and knew that there would be no promises made for what was meant to happen in three years. For all she knew, she could be spending the next few years abroad without much time to travel back to Japan. The grandfather poured the sake into the traditional ceramic cups, enough for all three.

"You too, Takashi. Fair payment for all the errands you've done for me," the man patted Takashi on the back. Hana gave a glare to her grandfather, disapproving of his _payment_ towards Takashi. But she took a deep breath and cautiously took the cup of alcohol.

The group clinked glasses and drank it in one go. Hana was the first to put the cup down to cover her mouth. It was horribly bitter than what she expected. Her forehead crinkled with her eyes as she tried to let the taste sit in her mouth.

Hana's grandfather laughed. "It gets better, Hana." He poured the girl another shot, and refilled Mori's cup. His face was expressionless. Hana couldn't tell whether he enjoyed it or if he was incredible at hiding disgust.

Hana looked into her cup and saw her reflection in the clear liquid.

"Stop hesitating, Hana."

The phrase had already conditioned her to do whatever was asked immediately. Be it a punch, a kick, or now, a shot of sake, Hana immediately downed the second cup. The bitter taste had an oddly nice lingering taste. She immediately felt warmth tingling down from her throat into her stomach, emanating from within. Hana put down the cup, ready for another shot.

"Easy there," the elder Sawada chuckled. "Back in my day, Takashi's grandfather and I would share bottles upon bottles of sake until we couldn't see straight. Your grandfather would say the dumbest things, Takashi."

"Like what?" Mori asked.

"Silly things like, _we should name our grandchildren after each other._ Or, _what if we pitted our grandchildren together and bet on who would win_?"  
"Wait, so – all those years of sparring came from a drunken idea?" Hana was mortified. But the two men only laughed. They saw the humour where Hana did not. It must have been a guy thing.

"We once tried sparring drunk when we were young," the grandfather reminisced. "We woke up to bruises on our bodies and we both claimed that we had a good fight – but we were kidding ourselves. It was obvious the bruises were self-inflicted from falling on top of objects since we couldn't walk straight."

The elder Sawada poured another glass for the three to share. He deemed that it was enough for the children. He had to be at least _somewhat_ responsible with the grandchildren. The three downed another cup of sake. The grandfather made Hana and Mori stand up to walk across the room. He deemed the two to be sober enough to get themselves home, although Mori seemed a little… off.

Mori spent some time with the dog, laying down on the ground and chuckling with the animal. It was oddly out of character for him. Hana's grandfather pulled his granddaughter aside and told her to take him home, knowing that she had a driver to pick her up. The girl assured that she would obey.

"He takes after his grandfather," Sawada chuckled. "Can't hold their alcohol like Sawadas can."

Hana rolled her eyes. "He's not drunk, he's just happy."

* * *

Mori knew he could walk straight. He was able to do everything as he did while sober. But he just felt nice and warm. He felt so _good_. There wasn't anything else to describe this feeling. It was relaxing. It was wonderful.

The two walked through the park in the dark, braving the cold weather. But the alcohol did enough to keep their bodies warm, even while the wind blew. Hana watched the boy closely, careful to not let him stumble. He had a ridiculous grin on his face, paired with pink cheeks and it was something she never saw. She had never seen him so _happy_ and Hana too, found his happiness to be oddly contagious. But mostly, it was amusing to see the giant looking like he was on top of the world.

When he accidentally stumbled towards her, Hana was quick to hold onto him by the waist.

"I've got you," she whispered. "Easy… easy…"she led him to a bench in the park. It was probably best that they sat for a while before getting up again. Mori still had a silly grin on his face when he saw her looking at him.

"What are you so happy about?" she asked.  
"I just feel good," Takashi answered, dragging out the word. "Like, I can forget all the pestering thoughts in my mind."

Hana patted his arm. "I feel like that too." She found it nice to have him speak more than three words at a time. He wasn't terribly drunk, just enough to get a nice buzz. For Hana, she felt warm and relaxed. Not quite enough to begin acting out of character.

"I've missed you," he mumbled. He watched the snow slowly fall from the sky while he sat on the bench. "I thought our orbits would not align anymore and then I couldn't see you, ever."

"Orbits?"

Mori continued on with the thoughts in his mind. "You went away, orbiting somewhere and then I lost my way… falling out of orbit."

Hana could only listen to the boy swaying from side to side, enchanted by the snow falling on the ground. Mori had a pink glow to his cheeks from the alcohol.

"What orbit, Takashi?" Hana gently asked. He turned to face her again, captivated by how close her face was to his. He pulled back and shook his head.

"Nothing," he mumbled. "Things about finding purpose in life and… losing direction."

Hana nodded. She didn't understand what he meant entirely but she could imagine that he had the same thoughts as she did when she contemplated life. A nagging feeling that neither of them could get rid of. Society placing pressure on you to figure out what you were meant to do with your life when you had barely lived two decades. It was unfair. It was terrifying. And here they both were, sharing the same feelings. Feelings of conflict, confusion, and most of all, loneliness. All they needed were distractions. And for Mori, it was training, or running. For Hana, it was now her academics and work life.

She took his hand in comfort. Mori looked down at the source of warmth and back to her face.

"You'll find your purpose someday, Takashi. Maybe not today. But someday… we'll figure things out."

Takashi nodded. Tightening his grip on her hand, as if he were making a silent promise to her. They stayed in silence for a while, breathing the refreshing cold air. Snow kept falling while they sat on the bench.

Hana noticed his eyes drooping, noting that he must have been tired. She suggested that they get home and dragged him up from the bench, seeing that they hadn't let go of each other's hands. She still had quite bit of strength, tugging on his arm and causing him to obediently follow.

"Are you cold?" he blurted out. "Your fingers are usually cold."

Hana shook her head and continued walking, leading him out of the park. Mori had a feeling that she was lying and firmly pulled her arm so that she would face him. He enveloped his arms around her, tucking her head underneath his chin.

Hana was surprised by the gesture, but welcomed the new source of warmth. She reluctantly circled her hands behind his back. It was so comfortable, like being home. There was no other way to describe it. Things felt right. She felt safe and protected, not that there were any dangers in the first place. It was enough to return the embrace.

She wondered if he would remember any of this the next day.

But it didn't matter if he didn't.

Because she would.

* * *

 **A/N:** As usual, your thoughts are very much appreciated. Supposedly, Mori gets flirtatious or talkative when he's sleepy. But I've always thought it would be interesting to put him under the influence. Drunk people are either a) funny, or b) a handful. Sometimes both, from my experience haha, but thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Mori wished that he woke up to a hangover. But instead, he woke up to startlingly vivid memories of the night before. He shifted under the covers of his bed, already feeling the sunlight penetrating through the room, urging him to wake up. He had readings to do. He had an essay to write. He had work.

But all he could think about was her hair, and how it had a hint of jasmine when he buried his face into it. How she comfortably tucked against his body in the cold. How patient she was the night before, guiding him back home and making sure he got home safe.

And then it hit him.

The embarrassing things he said. _Orbits_.

He groaned into his pillow. _What the hell was that_?

 _You'll find your purpose someday, Takashi. Maybe not today, but someday._

She told him what he told her once before. She remembered. It meant that she actually got his text he sent months ago, after not being able to sleep the night before. She never replied, and Mori chalked it up to being busy. Or maybe she didn't give him the right number. Or she just had better things to do. She was out there, she was orbiting far away, while shining and showing neighbouring planets her beauty. Hana couldn't have possibly taken the time to send back a text to a nobody.

Mori pulled the covers over his head. He couldn't get her out of his mind.

And it wasn't that she was just _pretty_. Sure, he had seen pretty girls before. Hell, he could've even considered Haruhi to be pretty to a degree.

But beyond the physical features, beyond the heavy makeup and flashing lights she was used to – he saw her smile and greet everyone with such sincerity. She wasn't as naïve as people saw her to be. She was intelligent. She was thoughtful. She was everything that nobody thought she could be. She shined brighter and brighter – and it wasn't even that he saw her as being incredible. It was everything she was, how she treated him, how she made him feel inside.

It was completely irrational.

His phone vibrated loudly on the night table, easily catching him off guard from his swirling thoughts. He grabbed the device only to see a text.

 _Are you feeling okay today? - Hana_

His fingers had a mind of its own to quickly text back _fine_.

 _Ojii-san wants to know if you want to train with us today during the afternoon._

Mori blinked. He had work to do. He had an essay to write. He had readings to do. He—

 _I'll be there,_ he texted.

Mori cursed in his head, and dropped the phone on his face.

* * *

"What are you grinning about?" Hana's grandfather narrowed his eyes at his granddaughter who was busy typing away on her phone. Sawada never saw his granddaughter with a silly grin like that since she was a small child. Lately, the past few years had been her giving small smiles and worried looks instead of the happy child he remembered best.

"Nothing," Hana waved off.

"Is the kid coming or not?" her grandfather asked. Hana looked up from the screen and nodded, with the grin still plastered on her face.

Sawada looked at his granddaughter suspiciously. The girl quickly contorted her mouth into a thin line before changing the subject.

"I'll… do some chores around the house before Takashi comes around then." Hana quietly excused herself and avoided her grandfather's impending interrogation.

She had her heart beating so fast, it felt like she had completed a 10 km run or finished boxing with her grandfather on a regular training day. But instead of feeling like hurling, or wanting to collapse, she felt as though she was at the top of a mountain.

 _It was just a hug._  
 _It was also cold last night. He was just trying to be nice._  
 _He probably forgot all about it._

Hana cleaned up the kitchen space, scrubbing down the stove for a couple minutes before breaking out into a silly grin.

 _He was drunk. He was totally drunk, red cheeks and all._

She wondered what he would have been like had he drank another shot. Or maybe a couple more. But she would have been there to take care of him, regardless.

* * *

A few hours later, they found themselves at the dojo. Kaina had come along, as she usually would for her regular walk.

Hana changed out of her sweater and jeans into workout clothes, and Mori was in the midst of taking off his wind breaker to reveal his regular t-shirt and sweatpants. When the two were ready for the usual exercises, the elder Sawada gestured for the dog to come over.

"I have to take this little shit to the vet," the elder explained, rolling its eyes at the dog. "Tedious animal needs vaccines or whatever. So you two train each other. I'll be back in a few hours."

The young adults turned to each other, both confused after being left abruptly by Hana's grandfather. They looked at one another, both unsure of how to begin without their usual trainer to bark orders at them. Both were taught from a young age to obey, not lead.

"I'd rather go for a run than have to throw punches at you," Hana grinned. "But the weather is a little too cold for that."

Mori nodded, agreeing with her statement. He watched as Hana approached the mat, sitting down on the floor and invited him to do the same. Hana stretched her body, first her legs that sprawled across the ground and later her back while she plopped herself the floor while her legs were apart.

Takashi joined her on the mat, curiously observing her next move while he sat nearby.

"Do you have any work to do, Takashi?"

 _An essay due after the break. 5 chapters of reading. An assignment to double-check before submitting._

"No," he answered.

Hana looked at him suspiciously. He was careful to keep a neutral expression.

"Please don't ever feel obligated to spend time with me, or my grandfather if you have other work to do, Takashi. It isn't necessary and I would hate to have your academics to—"  
"—It's fine," he cut her off. She had gotten used to that phrase coming out of his mouth. Hana frowned for a second, and decided not to pry.

"How's work?" Mori diverted the topic to her instead of himself. The model looked at him out of surprise, she hadn't expected him to ask about that of all things. She shrugged and gave a small smile.

"Same old. I'm booked for Tokyo Fashion Week in March. Another shoot has been scheduled for me in Singapore in April…"

Hana Sawada had become a sensation in East Asia recently, with more offers than ever now that she was a little older and recognizable. And yet, every time they met, Hana was the same. Takashi would have been lying if he forgot she was a model every time he met her, but she never flaunted her occupation.

"How about university?" Takashi tried his best to keep the conversation going, even though he was running out of topics quickly.

"Stern at NYU for finance is the goal," Hana smiled. "Though, I wouldn't mind LSE in London for global development."

"Those are quite far," he observed. They were competitive schools that were also halfway across the world. She was ambitious. Hardly anyone knew that. Mori nodded in acknowledgement, admiring her.

"Tokyo… feels suffocating sometimes," Hana admitted. "Although I suppose New York and London are equally crowded. Sometimes it feels like I have no reason to come back to Tokyo, except for Hiro and my grandfather."

Mori nodded.

"And you," Hana quickly added, before looking down at her legs that were crossed. "It's always nice to see you around."

Takashi instinctively shifted closer to her on the mat, waiting for her to turn around to look at him. The silence eventually got to her to the point where she wanted to sneak a quick glance at him, but instead he had crept up beside her, giving her a small smile.

"Same," Mori whispered when their gazes met.

Hana returned the same expression he had. A small smile, a relaxed gaze while she got lost in his eyes again. It was still a language she couldn't decipher. What was he saying? What did he want to tell her that he couldn't verbally do so?

He broke the silence. "We should train."  
Hana could only nod, watching as he got up from the mat first. He offered his hand so that he could pull her up. She smiled playfully and willingly took his arm, only to bring him back down to the mat so that he could sit beside her again. Takashi was caught off guard by her firm grip that effortlessly caused him to fall back down.

"Or we could talk." Hana suggested. "Tell me about Toudai. How are your philosophy courses? Do you like your professors?"

Mori reluctantly shifted himself into a more comfortable position, mirroring how she crossed her legs. Hana rested her face on her palm, which was propped up on her right knee. Her ponytail swayed with her head as she waited patiently for his answer, not caring about the silence. Hana knew that as long as she waited, he would answer. He just needed time. It didn't matter to her how long he took, it felt like they had all the time in the world.

He answered his questions one by one. "Toudai is nice. My courses are intriguing, and my professors are alright."

Hana nodded, taking in each statement. "What makes your courses intriguing?"

"Very open-ended," he slowly said, after taking a few seconds to think about the question. "Makes you think."

"And what do you think about?"  
"A lot," his answers grew to be shorter and shorter. Unlike him, Hana was quick on her toes to keep the conversation going. She was genuinely curious, but always careful not to make him feel uncomfortable with her questions. Mori could tell that she crafted her questions carefully.

"What do you find the most intriguing as of late?" She leaned in, as if she thought he was sharing a secret. Hana had a feeling he wasn't the type to share his thoughts often. Or even, ever. The girl wasn't a genius, or a mind-reader. She wanted to know what went on in that mind. Hana imagined his brain to be a hodgepodge of things. A whole new world, just waiting to be explored.

Mori never really had others inquire about his thoughts. His friends often accepted his silence as the way he was, and Mori was fine with that. Grateful, even. Except she was different. She delved into unchartered territory with ease, a natural at letting others open up to her.

"We often speak of existentialism in my lectures," he cleared his throat.  
"Existentialism?"  
"It's complicated," Mori figured she wouldn't want to hear about it. But instead she put a hand on his knee and urged him to continue. The way her eyes widened at the word, the way she captured him with just the two orbs… her gentle nudge, everything made him freeze.  
"Tell me about it."

Mori wasn't sure where to even begin with the school of thought. Existentialism covered so many facets, he was unsure what would make the most sense.

"Have you ever wondered what it meant to live?"

Hana paused for a moment. "I suppose."

"Why we exist? What are we? Who are we? Why we are the way we are?" Mori listed off only a few of the ideas of existentialism. Hana nodded slowly, trying to make sense of it.

"So what do you think?" she said after a moment.  
"Hm?"  
"What do you make of all that?"

Mori shook his head. He had no answers. No direction. Not a clue. It was frustrating. How does one formulate opinions on such things? Oftentimes, he took inspiration from his readings but on a personal level, he honestly could not think of a concrete answer.

Hana laughed. _What an odd response._ _Why is she laughing?_

"You seem frustrated," the girl observed the expression on his face. The way his brows furrowed together, unhappy with the idea that he could not answer these questions on his own accord. He didn't look at her. His gaze was somewhere else, still thinking about what she had said.

"If you knew the answer to these questions, what would be the point of studying philosophy?" Hana smiled. "These questions have no answers. And when they do, it's a personal perspective that cannot be replicated."

"How do you know?" Mori questioned.

Hana shrugged. She thought back to the night before. How his drunken thoughts revolved around the same thing. Whether it was for the sake of his studies, or personal thought, it didn't matter. It bothered him.

"I don't. But how does one come up with a collective reason of why we live? Or who we are? Why we are the way we are? These are such personal questions that nobody else but myself can provide."

Mori had to agree with that. He wondered how she came up with these ideas. What did she think about so often that she was able to grasp the idea so quickly, and speak so eloquently?

"I don't know much about this world," Hana admitted. "Maybe that's why I want to leave Tokyo. I don't want to be seen as a pretty face. I'm constantly underestimated and right now, I can't even do anything about it. I don't know enough to prove myself. I have no other skills. I…" Hana stopped herself and sheepishly looked down at the ground.

"Sorry, I wanted to learn more about you and suddenly I'm talking about myself. How self-centred I must seem," she apologised.

Mori shook his head. "No, I like hearing about you."

She gave him a small smile. _He's just being polite._ _Why is he so kind?_

"I'd rather hear more about you," she replied. Hana thought of something else to ask. "Do you like space?"

Mori gave her a confused look. _What_?

"You were talking about orbits last night," Hana explained. "I wasn't sure what you meant by it, but my first guess was astronomy. Planets. Orbits. That kind of thing."

He pursed his lips. He couldn't outright tell her what he thought. That would have been embarrassing.

"I don't remember," he cleared his throat, and averted his gaze. Hana found this to be oddly suspicious. But she didn't want to pry, he seemed uncomfortable speaking about what happened the night prior. Yet if he felt uncomfortable, that must have meant that he remembered what had occurred.

"How is Hiro?" Mori shifted the topic.

Hana smiled, respectfully going with the flow of the conversation. "He's been working really hard at getting his music out there. No word yet on any record companies but… I have faith in him." She spoke of her brother fondly, but her eyes said something different.

"You envy him?"  
Hana was put out of her daze. "What?"  
"You envy him," his tone now unwavering. He read her like a book, only that she was much more interesting than Foucault or ancient philosophers like Aristotle.

Hana sighed and shrugged. "I still love him, regardless. I wish he knew how lucky he was."  
"To be the heir?" Mori deduced.

Hana shook her head. "Being the boy," she corrected. "Having the freedom to do whatever he pleases while having the safety net of our family behind him."

"You have freedom too," he pointed out.  
"I have privileges that I will not deny," Hana explained. She had gone through these thoughts over and over again. Switching between guilt and anger. "But I don't have the same freedoms as he does when I have to watch myself on how I act, whom I speak to – I'm instantly scrutinized if there is even a single misstep."  
"Hiro's reputation—"  
"—He could easily get wasted, crash a car, everything a typical rich kid could and would do and _still_ get away with it and I wouldn't."

Mori shook his head. He knew Hiro. "He wouldn't be so reckless."

Hana smiled. "Of course not. But it seems as though I'm only good for marriages, or good to look at because of my _pretty face_. I'm a _model slash upcoming socialite_ , as what my mother would describe. But why can't I be seen as anything else? An heiress, at the very least?"

"Is that what you want to be?" he asked.

She looked away. "I don't know. I just want to be seen as… more? More than a mannequin. More than a potential trophy wife. Is that selfish? Is that so wrong?"

"Does Hiro know?"  
"He wouldn't… understand," Hana mumbled. "He's busy with his own music anyway, I wouldn't dare to get in the way of his dreams." She closed her eyes and averted her gaze, almost embarrassed that she told him all of that.

"I didn't mean to drag you into this mess," she turned quiet. "It just… it feels strangely comforting to say things out loud."

It was his turn to put a hand on her knee, his firm yet gentle grip assured her that he did not mind. Mori could not offer any help and she knew that.

"There is a quote," his baritone voice cut through the silence. " _I wish I could throw off the thoughts which poison my happiness, and yet I take a kind of pleasure in indulging them."_

Hana looked up to find his sympathetic gaze. He waited for her to come back. Back from her thoughts, her world, her orbit. When her eyes widened at him, Mori took it as a sign that Hana had returned.

"Frédéric Chopin," Mori finished off the quote.

Hana pursed her lips. "Do you have thoughts that poison your happiness?"

Mori sat back, mulling through the question in his mind for a few minutes. When he didn't answer, Hana swiftly switched over to another thought.

"What do you want to be?" she asked.

He tilted his head. The question was a little too vague for his liking.

"What do you want to be seen as? What do you aspire to be? What do you want to do with your life?" Hana wondered. She often wondered what someone like him would aspire to be.

 _This,_ he thought. _This is exactly the kind of thought that poison my happiness._ _Only that I take no pleasure in indulging them._ Mori had been struggling with the idea for months. Since Honey had left, he had no direction in life. He did not know what to do with his life after being given his freedom. He did not know what he aspired to be. His whole life was planned, and now, it was a blank slate.

"I do not know." He answered with such sadness in his tone, Hana tried to find his eyes again. But he had averted his gaze elsewhere, already lost somewhere in his mind. She reached for his hand, bringing him back to her. He felt a soft touch on his calloused hands, her fingers intertwining with his as she leaned forward.

"Then I guess we'll both figure out what we want to do with our lives sometime later. But right now, we'll just live. Day to day, until we figure it out." She smiled, as if to reassure him that it was okay. Regardless of what happens, things would work out.

But Mori did not feel the same. They were not the same. She had ambitions. He had none. He had no clue. But she had direction.

"I envy you," Mori murmured, thinking of what she said to him a year ago.  
"Envy me?"  
"You have direction in your life." _She has an orbit. She knows where to go._

Hana shook her head. "I'm still searching for it, just as you are. We're no different now."

 _But we are different._ _You are the mountain, your direction is to go up. I am the sea, flowing aimlessly. We are different._

"Takashi, please come back," she squeezed his hand. "What made you this way? What happened?"

He was silent. If Hana had to be honest, she felt rather dejected about him being so closed off. It worried her. But she was not about to pry. Instead, Hana's grip tightened on his hand as she got up from the mat. His arm jerked upwards, immediately bringing him back from his daze.

She stood tall above him, her eyes waited for a moment to recognize that he came back to reality. Her lips twisted upwards, and she tilted her head towards the punching bag.

"Let's train. For real this time."

* * *

Hana spent her birthday alone, by choice. Hiro had a show to play at a nightclub, an "end-of-year" bash as he described it. Her grandfather had already done his duty in celebrating his granddaughter's special day. Hana escaped into the woods, where the mountains were. Their summer villa had always become a winter villa for her.

Her father never spent birthdays with his children. He was distant because he was always working. It became normal to Hana and Hiro. They respected him, they listened to him, but they never knew who he was beyond the title of being their father. Her mother on the other hand, had gone off to a getaway in the Maldives with other housewives in their social circle.

She pondered how she turned out the way she did. 17 years on the planet and she was this girl who clearly had no friends to spend her birthday with. The weirdest part was knowing that she felt comfortable with the fact that she had no friends.

It was comforting. Being alone, being protected, far from playing the games of jumping through hoops to be socially accepted. Was that so terrible?

Hana sat by the fireplace, the skies had already fallen and the only source of light were the flames that hypnotized her. She felt like she could breathe again. Being in the mansion, and constantly being on her toes about her mother intruding was emotionally taxing.

The last time she felt like she could breathe again was…

 _With Takashi,_ she remembered. Being able to voice her thoughts aloud for the first time in months. She realized that she had been subconsciously thinking about his questions he posed about existentialism. It wasn't a bad thing to think about. Hana could see why he decided to study the subject of philosophy.

Hana wondered how she became the way she did. Distant, perhaps even cold to an extent. She was lucky most people chalked it up to professionalism when she was curt and quick to leave during her job, but rarely was she ever late. Hana felt like the exact opposite of how her mother wanted her to be.

 _You need to be more outgoing, Hana. No man will like talking to a wall.  
You should cut your hair. The short hair bob is a trend._  
 _Why exercise, Hana? All of that silly boxing or whatever that you do. Just diet. Cut out all the carbs.  
I just don't understand why you feel like you need an education. A degree is only a piece of paper if you aren't going to put it to use after marriage. You need to build your modelling career, Hana._

Yet Hana she fought. She fought against all of what her mother said in her own way.

She stayed the same way she was. She kept her hair long, she kept up her grades as high as she possibly could. And it was at that point when Hana realized her mother never raised her. It was her grandfather who taught her how to fight. Her grandfather who kept her grounded, who taught her manners and humility.

Hiro, on the other hand, was raised by her mother. He was the first-born, he was the boy, after all. Her brother was always closer to their mother than she was. Hana had her grandfather. She never felt a disparity. It was always normal, until now.

Hana realized why Hiro was oblivious to the way they lived. How he did not notice the luxuries and wealth they swam in. He never spent time with their grandfather who lived simply. One house, a garden, a park, and a dojo. That was his entire neighbourhood. Hana was unsure what to think of it. How two siblings managed to be polar opposites of each other.

He was outgoing. He was optimistic, maybe a little bit impulsive. Hiro was loud and exciting. He had so much love to share and he did everything with good intent.

Perhaps that was their common feature.

 _Good intent._

She wanted to do things with good intent. She did not know how. At least, not in her position without looking like she was seeking publicity. Hana was well read on the corruption of charities in third world countries. She spent her free time reading the news articles, occasionally coming across business articles which she forwarded to Kyouya out of her own good intention.

 _Your intentions. They're genuine._

His voice played at the back of her mind. Hana looked away from the flame and noticed the darkness that surrounded her. She felt like she was being swallowed up by the emptiness, with only the fire to keep her company. The closest thing she would have to the warmth of another human being.

And it was at that point when Hana felt lonely for the first time.

She was lonely because she craved for someone else's presence. A presence she didn't realize how much she enjoyed, and how much she appreciated. It was a longing in the most innocent sense. A glimpse of his face, a hello, or even a nod of acknowledgement. She wanted it all, all of the sudden.

A deep rumble against the hardwood floors put Hana out of her thoughts, she looked down to find her phone that vibrated.

 _Happy Birthday._  
 _Takashi_

She smiled. _What a coincidence._

Like a light that guided her out of the darkness, he appeared at the right time.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you don't find Mori and Hana's struggles with the future to be repetitive. I would like to say that realistically, we all struggle during our late teens/early adulthood with what to do with our lives. Direction and motivation don't randomly pop up out of nowhere, especially when you are young and inexperienced in life. It's a process, for all of us. So to any of you who are feeling unsure with what you're meant to do with your life (i.e. college applications, career choices, your ambitions or aspirations in life) - this story is for you. Or I mean, that's one of the themes that I'm striving for. Anyway, your thoughts are much appreciated. Thanks for reading, as usual.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Hiro huffed out of frustration and plopped himself on her bed. _He_ was her big brother who was always there with her, every step of the way. Literally, every step – he even remembered _her_ first step as a baby, granted he was only two but he remembered. Hiro had a great memory, despite what most people took him for.

"I just wished I was first."  
"You _were_. You just didn't see my text."

Hana got her acceptance in the middle of February, during Tokyo Fashion Week. Needless to say, feigning an apathetic expression became extremely difficult while she walked down the runway. She wasn't expecting it. She knew the odds of being accepted into Stern, especially as an international student. For the first time, things began to look less impossible than she had imagined. Like a world of opportunities had opened up.

Naturally with the news, the Sawada family gathered for a belated celebratory dinner in May. When Hana finally had her Lobelia diploma in hands despite never attending her graduation ceremony – she had a shoot in Singapore to blame for that. It was years of private tutoring and attending the school twice a year to write her exams, physically. Regardless, she graduated secondary school and managed to surprise both her parents with the acceptance from one of the most prestigious schools in business.

"Hiro, you should follow in suit," their father broke the ice during their family dinner. "Hana isn't dilly-dallying around like you are with nonsense like music."

Hiro had just landed a record deal and his father did not think much of it. Hana snuck a glance at her brother, almost to assure him that she was proud of him, even if their father wasn't. Hiro only shrugged, he saw it coming.

"Dear," the mother patted her husband's arm. She tried reasoning with him. "Hiro just signed a record deal. His career is taking off, he can't just _leave_ music right now."

Their father grunted and continued cutting his salmon, obviously disapproving of this so-called career. Their mother tried to look on the bright side. "Besides, the ladies sure love a man who can play music, right?"

Hiro cleared his throat. "Guys love music too."  
"Of course, but I mean, young men aren't going to marry you."  
"…or are they?" the son raised an eyebrow.

Their mother laughed off the comment. "Oh Hiro, what a sense of humour you've grown to have. Right, dear?" she turned to her husband who only rolled his eyes.

"Hana, I'm sure you'll meet many prospective bachelors at Stern," the topic shifted over to the daughter.

Hana kept her cool demeanour. "I'm not there to find a husband."  
"Well then, what are you there for?" her mother laughed.

The daughter looked up from her plate and gave a cold stare. "Everything except a husband. A degree, perhaps? Maybe a job?"  
"Darling, you _have_ a job. You don't have to give up your career for some silly—"  
"—It's not silly," her tone grew more assertive by the second. "It isn't just a piece of paper. It is an _education_. One that you clearly take privilege of, and I will not."

The sudden change in tone provided a long blanket of silence over dinner. A tense atmosphere that seemed to grow by the second.

"You would do well to hold your tongue," the father scolded after their main course was finished. Like a balloon of tension that had burst, the patriarch of the family continued. "You think you're suddenly too good for this family, don't you? Speaking disrespectfully to your mother, throwing away the life we've given you so you can go run off to school to prove whatever you're worth."

Hana put down her cup of water and looked up at her father. Their mother's head looked down at the table, while Hiro mirrored the exact image. No one dared to speak. No one would dare face the patriarch of the Sawada family. Except the youngest.

Hana opened her mouth to say something only to be cut off.

"That better be an apology coming out of your mouth or you aren't going to speak at all."

The daughter shut her mouth and pursed her lips. Instead she coolly took a sip of water.

"What do you think your education will get you? _Who_ do you think is paying for it? How _dare_ you speak—"  
"What would it take?" Hana spoke calmly over her father's rant. She did not waver. Her expression almost taunted him to answer her question. "What would it take for me to prove my worth to you as an heiress?"

The father leaned back and smirked. He shook his head.

"Nothing in the world would prove your birthright to my empire, child."

And with that, Hana stood from the dinner table.

She had enough.

* * *

Hana showed up one morning at the dojo. It was a Saturday, as usual. She caught her grandfather at the punching bag, holding it steady for Takashi who was in the midst of throwing punches. Kaina had been watching obediently on the side, but as soon as the door quietly shifted, the dog came to greet the familiar guest.

While the two men were still training, while Hana sat on the sidelines petting Kaina. The dog sprawled over her crossed legs, missing her presence after all these months. She had her hair tied back in a ponytail, dressed in tight athletic leggings and a casual blue hoodie. She watched patiently as the two trained, almost wishing she could be a part of it.

But instead, she brought apples. Apples, because it was her grandfather's favourite. When the men settled down after their morning session, Hana watched as they approached her slowly, as if wondering what made her come visit. Instead, she threw them both an apple with her non-dominant hand to which both Mori and her grandfather took note of. Her aim was off by just a bit.

They sat on the bench while Hana sat on the mat with Kaina, petting the dog lovingly. They were silent before her grandfather noticed the horror on his granddaughter's dominant hand. The hand that she threw the best punches with. It was bruised and battered, swollen with a nebula of colours on top of it. She should have been wincing in pain, or at least been in some kind of discomfort from the bruises.

"Child, what the hell did you do to your hand?" Hana did not scare easily, not anymore by her grandfather's scolding. Takashi looked away from her calm face, she wore a small smile as she rubbed the belly of the now full-sized dog on her lap. When he noticed the bruises on her hand, Takashi immediately understood the question. He too, widened his eyes in horror.

"I punched a wall last night," she calmly explained.

"You…" the grandfather was trying to make sense of it. "You reckless child." He settled.

The elder shook his head and laughed at the girl's injury. "Fucking deserved that bruise for being so stupid, I'd say."

Hana joined in with a chuckle. "Yeah."

Takashi was still horrified by the colours on her hand. The blues that faded into greens, purples and black, mingling with reds and yellow on the edges. He wondered if her hand had been broken.

"So amuse us," the grandfather pried. "Tell us which fucker made you so angry."  
"That fucker happened to be my father who told me nothing in the world would prove my birthright to his empire," Hana seethed. Her attention was still towards the dog, but Mori noticed the slight waver in her grandfather's expression. It was too brief for Takashi to figure out whether it was a look of pity or guilt.

"You want his empire?" The grandfather reverted back to himself. "You can build your own, why have something that is second-hand?"

Hana sighed. "It isn't about that. It's about the way he treats me. It's about how mother treats me and how the world seems to belittle my worth."

"Then what do you think you are worth?" the grandfather asked.  
"At least a chance to prove my worth," she murmured, scratching the underside of Kaina who was thoroughly enjoying the belly rub. But the two adults were wary of Hana's dejection.

"I didn't raise you to give up," the grandfather reminded. Mori felt like he was watching a scene that he wasn't meant to be a part of, as if he seamlessly blended into the walls. He watched Hana nod.

"I'm not giving up. I'm just…" the granddaughter could not think of what to say. She sighed.  
"You're just punching walls, eh?"

Hana chuckled while shaking her head. "Yeah, punching walls."

"Did you at least break the wall?" the elder Sawada smirked.  
"I punched through the wall. Someone is going to find out about that today, I'm sure." Hana rolled her eyes, she wasn't particularly proud of that feat. The grandfather nodded in approval. He wasn't angry at her, but rather amused.

The elder finished off his apple and looked at Takashi who had been quietly observing the family's banter. He stood when the elder stood, believing that it was an appropriate time to leave the Sawadas alone to respect their privacy. But instead, the grandfather looked at the tall young man and then at his granddaughter.

"I have to take Kaina to the park. Goddamn animal needs its exercise too. Takashi, help Hana with her dumb injury back in the house."

Takashi obediently nodded in acknowledgement. He could not reject an order from his elder. Kaina quickly got to its feet when she saw her owner walking out of the doors, which left Hana and Mori alone. It was a comfortable silence that blanketed over them for a few seconds.

He looked down, while she was in his shadow looking at him who stood stiffly on the mat. He offered his hand to pull her up, carefully grabbing her forearm and not her hand. He wasn't aware of how much momentum he had put into his pull until she stumbled forward accidentally, into his chest. Hana quickly got to her feet, regaining her balance before making it seem awkward.

They looked away from each other, almost embarrassed to be missing the warmth from their bodies colliding together. Mori tugged on her arm gently, leading the way out of the dojo and back to her grandfather's home.

He didn't let go of her arm and for some reason, Hana had no will to pull it away as they walked together. It was May, meaning the weather had gotten warmer despite being cool in the mornings. When they reached home, Mori took off his windbreaker while Hana settled by the table. He swiftly went to grab the first aid kit. He came back to find her with her tank top, the bare shoulders lined beautifully with the muscles that delved in and out of her skin caught his eye. She took off her hoodie since it must have been warm. Mori didn't usually stare but today he caught himself before she turned.

He slowly made his way towards her, careful to keep his eyes on the kit and not her. Hana touched the top of her hand, and winced at the pain. She tried to keep herself quiet, but instead Mori was quick to take her hand to carefully wrap it in gauze. There were no apparent cuts, just an array of bruises on her delicate hand.

"I know I was stupid," Hana mumbled. "Like a child throwing a tantrum, punching a wall when I couldn't have waited just twelve hours before using a punching a bag to relieve my anger."  
"At least you know," Mori answered back, his baritone voice piercing through the walls.

Hana was surprised to hear him answer with something almost offensive. His tone was disapproving, even with only four words. She sighed out of embarrassment and then silently watched him wrap up her hand. He was so careful, his touch was so gentle as if he was afraid of hurting her any more than she already had.

She half-expected him to say something comforting. But she felt more relieved as he refused to do so. He was honest. He wasn't there to play games with her emotions.

"Thank you," Hana quietly said when he finished wrapping her hand. He lingered for a few seconds before letting go to put the first aid kid away. When he came back, Hana was sitting crossed legged as she observed the gauze wrapped on her right hand.

"Too tight?" Mori asked, lowering himself down to her level so he could look at it.  
She shook her head. "No, it's um… it's perfect, thanks." Hana shyly put her hand away, refusing to look at him. "I should… make tea before Ojii-san comes back."

Mori shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder telling her to relax. He scurried away into the kitchen, obviously familiar with the home. He must have spent a lot of time here, she thought. Hana was grateful for him either way, spending time with her grandfather. She knew that the upcoming years would mean sparse visits to one of her favourite places. Hana felt guilty for wanting to leave, and wanting so badly to do so that she would leave one of her most loved ones behind.

The worst part was knowing that her grandfather would set her free, regardless. He would do nothing to keep her rooted to the ground, and all he had ever done was to nurture her into pushing her limits. Her grandfather seemed to be the only person in the world who refused to underestimate her skill. It struck her right then and now that she could not pay him back for all the years he put into raising her. She had not once said thank you, or told him how much he meant to her. And now, in a few months time, she would leave for the other side of the world.

Mori came back to find Hana frowning, in a daze towards the ground. She put a smile on her face when he came back, thanking him again for the tea.

"You alright?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine," Hana took the teapot with her non-dominant hand shakily and poured precisely when her left hand began gaining control. He sipped the green tea quietly, and she did the same.

"You sure?" he tried again.

Hana laughed. "I'm very sure, Takashi."

They sat in silence for a bit longer, while Mori watched her carefully to see if she was actually alright as she claimed.

"While I'm gone," Hana cleared her throat. "I know it is a lot to ask of you, with your studies and all but if you could take care of my grandfather… I would really appreciate that."  
"Of course," he nodded. He already did so, without any obligation.  
"Text me often," she added. "Let me know how he's doing and how you're doing as well."

Mori nodded again, assuring her that he would do it. She sipped her tea, and put down her cup shakily with her left hand. They waited, though they weren't quite sure for what. Takashi could have easily left right then and there, given that he had no obligation to stay. But his legs refused to move.

"I understand," he murmured.  
"Hm?" Hana looked up from the reflection in the cup of tea.  
"Why you're angry," Mori explained.

Hana blinked. She was under the impression that Takashi saw her as childish. Throwing a tantrum like a brat, for purely selfish reasons of needing the approval of others. A child who knew nothing of the world, someone who obviously needed attention and got none for being the way she was. He was older, after all. He had more perspective than she did, even if he was only a year older.

"What?" she didn't expect him to understand. They came from two different places, brought together by a pure stroke of luck.

"You're more than what people think you are," he continued. "You just don't know it yourself."

Hana tilted her head in confusion. She still wasn't following what he was saying.

"You're insecure," Takashi pointed out. "You don't have to prove your worth if you know what you're worth."  
"And if I don't?" she meekly asked.

He shrugged. He could only offer so much. Takashi couldn't tell her how he saw her. She was kind, thoughtful, intelligent, strong, enchanting…

"Then what do you think I'm worth?" Hana wondered. She took him out of his daze.  
"Everything."

No hesitation. Not even a single thought. He couldn't have taken it back even if he tried.

* * *

Summer vacation allowed the Host Club to gather once again as a whole even though Mori and Honey went back to visit during the school year whenever they could. It had been a tradition to stay in Hiro's summer villa, and this time Haruhi had reluctantly come along after much pestering from Tamaki. Hiro informed her sister about it casually.

"Will… Mori be there?" Hana asked. Hiro popped into her room as she was in the midst of packing for a trip overseas. This time she was heading over to New York to sort things out before college.  
"Yeah, of course," he answered. Hiro paused. "Wait, why are you asking?"

Hana zipped up her luggage and shook her head. "Nothing, I won't be able to come around if that's what you're here for. We don't have any rooms left in the villa, plus, I've got a trip during the days you've invited the Host Club over. It's probably better that I don't intrude, anyway."

"Hana, why are you rambling?"  
"I'm not rambling. I'm explaining," Hana corrected. She turned away from her brother and typed away on her laptop, printing her travel documents in an attempt to cover the silence so that her brother wouldn't interrogate her on questions she had no answers to.

 _Why are you asking about Mori? Do you_ like _him?_

It was her greatest fear to have her brother meddle. Hana was also in no condition to let her mind wander. She had to compose her university schedule while somehow figuring out how to balance work. Shifting her modelling career over to the States was no easy feat.

Hiro let his sister go, knowing that the more he pried, the more distant Hana would become. She would be ready to come back to him when the time was right.

He knew his sister.

But who he didn't know, was Mori. Sure, they had been part of the club together but rarely did they ever have a solid conversation. His presence was nice to have around, he completed the puzzle with the Host Club but otherwise, their conversations ranged from a nod of acknowledgement or a hello and goodbye.

So when Hiro caught Mori up early during the wee hours of the morning, he confronted him as an older brother would. The club had been staying in the villa for a day, and Hiro had just found Mori back from his morning jog.

"Morning Mori," Hiro casually greeted. He poured him a glass of water to which Mori swiftly thanked him for.

"So," the brother had no clue how to segue his way into the topic. The silent giant raised an eyebrow. "Hana."

Mori slowly looked up from his glass of water. His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to inwardly kick himself for that reaction. The giant was careful to keep a neutral expression. Hiro noticed the intrigue and tilted his head. What was the connection between this guy and his sister? Hana would hardly have the time to date someone, or anyone. If anything, Hiro expected Hana to be closer with Kyouya given all those emails they relay to one another. Mori was… a wild card. The _wild_ type after all.

"What do you think of her?" the brother tried starting off generally.  
"Why?" One worded answers were not getting Hiro anywhere. Mori sure lived up to the silent type, too.

Hiro was stuck. "Uh, just curious? I mean, you've met her right?"  
"Yes," Mori nodded.  
"And…?"

Takashi had no clue what Hiro was trying to get at, but it seemed suspicious and to be honest, he wasn't particularly comfortable discussing about his feelings out in the open.

"She's nice." Technically it wasn't a lie. In fact, it was the truth. She was kind.

"Oh," Hiro looked a little dejected by the lame answer. "Hana asked if you were coming," he explained. He tried looking for some sort of change in expression in Mori's face. He found none. _What's with this guy?_

"I don't think she'll be stopping by, but… I think she'd want me to tell you hi from her," the brother smiled. Mori nodded and finished off his glass of water before excusing himself.

* * *

The Host Club decided to stay a few days longer at the villa because of Haruhi's late arrival due to her summer job. It wasn't the same without the entire gang, claimed Tamaki. It didn't matter to Mori, seeing that he was free and he was fine as long as Honey agreed. Things fell into a comfortable routine during the summer as Mori began spending time like he usually did with Honey.

Mori had a morning routine at the villa. Up at 5 AM, off for a run and hike until about 9 in the morning so that he got back in time for Honey to wake peacefully. He ran the same routes as Hana had showed him a year prior. He ran fast enough to catch the sunrise every morning, and then hiked up the scenic route to the peak that overlooked the city from the mountains.

He jogged alone, but his mornings were oddly comforting. She wasn't physically there with him, but the tough trail always reminded him of her. His heart beat faster and faster, his breaths irregular, but the air was crisp and the birds sung.

The sun hadn't risen yet, and Mori was beginning to think he was late. He slowed down his pace when he knew he got close. But from afar, he saw a figure. Hair braided, bare shoulders, dark tank top, pale skin. There was a backpack situated beside the person on the rock.

Mori was careful to keep his steps quiet, watching the figure stretch their arms letting the muscles on their back become more defined. He stepped closer. He recognized those lines, the beautifully formed grooves that accentuated the shoulder blades. Takashi found himself staring again when he really shouldn't have.

"Hana," he greeted from behind. It caused the girl to jump from fright, nearly falling over the edge of the cliff that she sat on. Hana turned to see Mori standing casually behind her, sweat dripping down his neck as he ran up the spot to catch the sunrise.

"Takashi," Hana said when she finally caught her breath. She moved over her backpack and let him sit. "I thought the club would have left the villa by now."  
"Haruhi came late," he explained. "Tamaki wanted to stay a few more days."

Hana nodded. She handed him her water bottle. She noticed his hesitance and assured him that it was fine. Mori took a swig and gave it back.

"You're back," he said. They both kept their eyes towards the East, waiting patiently for the sun to rise between the two trees. This spot became theirs. It was their own little secret. It was a mutual understanding.

"Yeah, sorted some things out in New York," she answered. She took a sip of her own water. "I didn't think you'd be here."  
"It's beautiful," Mori said. It was enough of an explanation for Hana. She came as often as she could to escape. "What about you?"

Hana shrugged. "Escaping, as usual. Needed time to think." She had to catch another flight later in the evening. This escape would be brief as she explored the woods and got back in time by nightfall to the airport.  
"About what?"

She was silent for a moment, mulling over her thoughts. She watched the sky turn from darkness to a gorgeous array of colours. Mori snuck a glance at her. It began as a glance, but turned into a gaze. The way she watched the view so peacefully, her hair tucked to the side with the braid cascading over her shoulder and down to her waist. The way the golden light kissed her pale skin, she smiled to nothing in particular.

"Your words," she said. "I've been thinking about my insecurities. But I began to wonder…" Hana trailed off. She turned to face him, and Mori couldn't even hide the fact that he had been staring at her. She was oblivious. "What insecurities you had," she finished.

Hana got up from the cliff when the sun had risen. She offered a hand to Mori, to which he gladly took. Her soft hands had a firm grip as she pulled him up with ease, and then reached for her backpack. But Takashi got to it before she did. He refused to let her carry the weight, being the gentleman he was. Hana wasn't going to argue. She thanked him and they were well on their way on their usual hike.

"It's just a very unpleasant feeling," Mori answered after a few hundred metres uphill. They climbed upwards with their legs, refusing to take a break.  
"Hm?" Hana turned to face him. He always trailed behind her, just in case she slipped or fell. He was there to protect her, just in case.  
"My insecurities," he specified. Hana shook her head. She was on higher ground than he was, allowing her to look at his face. His eyes were the same as she remembered the night he got drunk. He couldn't pinpoint his insecurities. No words to explain. It was a feeling that hovered over him from time to time if he wasn't distracted.

"I didn't mean for you to share something you didn't want to," Hana apologized. She instantly felt guilty. She didn't want him feeling bad. "I was just… I mean…" she sighed. She took his arm so they could hike side by side instead of having him trail along.

Hana had a lot of respect for Takashi. He was older. Wiser. Calmer. She strived to be like him. He was like a rock. Nothing fazed him, nothing seemed to make him angry or would cause him to lose his cool. Hana on the other hand, was quick to let her emotions take over. She still felt like a child, being forced to grow up in a world she knew nothing of.

"You're very… collected," Hana explained. "I just thought you wouldn't have any insecurities which led me to wonder."

Mori shook his head. He was sorry to disappoint. The truth was that he often felt inadequate. His friends were going off to university, one by one, and each had their own ambitions. Hana too, had ambitions. But Mori was stagnant. He thought about things, but he never quite got anywhere with it. Nothing to make him useful. Nothing to really make him see the purpose in living.

Hana tugged on his arm.

"Hey," she brought him back to reality. "I guess we all are just… human," Hana shrugged. "We all struggle and… get lost, maybe that's just part of life."

Mori looked down at her who smiled. She tried offering words of comfort, though she herself was unsure if her word had an effect or had any truth. _What did it mean to be human_? _What was life meant for?_

He pondered those questions while he hiked alongside. When they reached the peak that overlooked the city, Hana settled down onto the grass. They sat in silence for a bit, sharing a bottle of water between each other along with protein bars that Hana had in her backpack.

"I'm scared, Takashi," Hana confessed. She escaped because, "I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready for the real world. I can feel it. Life is ready to throw hurdles at me and I'm not ready for what's coming."

Mori let those words sink in. Life hadn't thrown him hurdles. Life had only thrown him into an abyss of emptiness as he struggled to find his way. The summer was a distraction as he spent time with Honey. But as soon as the school year begins, Mori knew he was going to be thrust into the same cycle of wandering aimlessly.

He picked up a wildflower nearby, and tapped Hana on the shoulder. She looked at him, curious to hear what he had to say. Instead, he took a strand of her hair that had fallen from her braid and tucked it behind her ear. He had the gentlest touch, the warmest gaze and the most mesmerizing eyes. He placed the wildflower behind her ear.

"Neither am I."

Hana took his hand that grazed her ear. Her hand, as usual, was cold. He easily enveloped her thin fingers within his palm, warming them up. Just months ago, it was covered in bruises. He was glad to see them gone.

"You give me hope," she quietly said. Hana didn't look away from his eyes.  
"Hm?"  
"That I'm not alone in this."

* * *

 **A/N:** As usual, thanks for reading. Your thoughts are always appreciated. (:


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Hana always made good grades.

Until she began university. Her first midterm came back to a near fail. It was distressing, and also terrifying. She didn't have the luxury of tutors that would slowly run through concepts with her. The pace of her classes picked up quicker than she had ever imagined and suddenly she was drowning in assignments, readings, lectures and a barrage of midterms on the way.

Hana quickly learned that it wouldn't be possible to keep up with her modelling career during the school year if she wanted to at least pass the first semester of her studies. She managed to walk the runway for the fall New York Fashion Week since it had taken place during the beginning of the semester. But it was exactly that one week of missed classes that caused her to fall behind in an instant.

Tuition was ridiculously high as an international student and Hana refused to use her family's credit card to pay it off.

 _What do you think your education will get you? Who do you think is paying for it?_

So everything came out of her own account. The years of modelling jobs that accumulated into her bank account began quickly depleting as she paid her own bills.

Hana sat in the small loft, sitting at the kitchen table as she studied for an accounting midterm. It was past 2 in the morning, and she was stuck on the last question of the review. Hana sighed and blankly checked her phone.

 _2:08 AM EST_

 _Kaina has a cold. Sawada-san says hello._

Mori often updated her on the status of what happened during his weekly visits to her grandfather. Hana smiled at the screen. It was the only thing that kept her from losing her mind and the anxiety of being on the verge of failing first year.

 _He knows we text?_

Hana put down her phone and reattempted the question she was stuck on. Within minutes, her phone vibrated.

 _Yes._

One worded answers became the norm for Hana when speaking to Takashi in real life, but through text, Hana found it frustrating at first. Over the weeks, she had come to accept the way he texted for it was an exact reflection of how he spoke. It comforted her to some degree. She wasn't sure why.

 _You're up late._

Hana answered within seconds.

 _Studying. How about you?_

The wait always felt excruciatingly long.

 _Walking home._  
 _You should study._

Hana pouted at the text. Accounting was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment.

 _No, stay with me. Just a few more minutes. Tell me about your classes. What's been on your mind?_

He answered quickly.

 _Descartes._

Hana raised an eyebrow. She'd heard of him.

 _"I think, therefore I am," – right?_ _What does it really mean?_

It was a philosophical preposition she'd read somewhere, posed by the French philosopher Descartes.

 _If you are capable of thought, you exist._

Hana read the sentence over a couple times.

 _What do you mean?_

* * *

Takashi met up with Sawada-san on a weekly basis. 8 AM on Saturdays, where they would train, walk the dog through the park, and do errands. Hana's grandfather found himself looking forward to those days. Oftentimes, he spent his days with the dog, reading the newspaper, and exercising. It was a simple life, with days passing quicker than he remembered them to be.

He caught the young man staring at the glass screen one day, before he came out with a pot of tea into their living room.

"What's so interesting?" the elder peered over Mori's phone and noticed Hana's name. The grandfather put the pot down on the table and swiftly took the device out of his hands.

 _Kaina has a cold,_ he read. Hana's grandfather scrolled upwards.

 _Sawada-san went to the doctor's.  
He's fine._

"You've been spending time with me so you could spy on me?" the elder raised an eyebrow and watched Mori purse his lips before clearing his throat. He had no excuse. Though Mori would hardly call it spying.

"Hana's just worried," Takashi tried to explain.  
"That brat calls me every other week like clockwork and she's _still_ worried?" the elder grumbled. "I'm not that old." He was in his early seventies, but he hardly felt it.

Sawada threw the phone back to the boy and grunted. "Tell her I said hello." Mori nodded obediently. They finished up their day and soon enough Mori was on his way home to a paper waiting to be submitted. He texted her before walking through the park, and to his surprise, she texted back almost instantly.

Oftentimes, Hana would answer the day after, or not at all. Mori never minded, understanding that she must have been busy. At the very least, his text messages never went unread. The small indication at the bottom of his text messages often showed that it was read by at least the day after.

He always felt like he was bothersome to her. It wasn't her fault, at all. Mori just felt inadequate. She was off in the States, at a prestigious program while he stayed in his comfort zone. She was pursuing her goals while he had none in particular. She was busy, and he still had the time to pet stray dogs along the way home whenever he came across any.

Takashi knew that he was in no place to keep her from doing what she needed to do. He promptly texted her to study and suddenly he was sitting on the bench on a windy autumn afternoon contemplating how to explain Descartes to her.

 _"I think, therefore I am," refers to Descartes' argument on proving existence._

Hana quickly texted back. _How?_

 _Descartes argued anyone capable of thought exists. How would you prove your own existence? One's perception of reality may not really be reality at all._

* * *

Hana stared at her phone for a few minutes. _One's perception of reality may not really be reality at all._

This was too much for 2:30 AM. She had a midterm in less than 8 hours. Her brain was incapable of comprehending these unsettling thoughts. She wondered how Takashi dealt with these thoughts on a regular basis.

 _Sorry. Brain is incapable of thought at 2:32 AM. Will ponder these thoughts when I'm not terrified of my entire perception of reality to potentially be completely false – or that I actually do not exist._

Mori inwardly chuckled. That wasn't quite the point of Descartes. Philosophical arguments often had the tendency to cause one to question many things, though it was only a school of thought after all – it was important to distinguish thoughts from reality.

 _Good luck._ He typed. _Bye._ Mori pressed the backspace and erased the word. He didn't want to say bye.

He never wanted to say good bye. Not now. Not anytime soon.

* * *

She stepped out of the airport with snow falling onto the ground. It was December.

Hana didn't really feel like she was home in Tokyo, but she came back because there wasn't anywhere else to really go.

Her first term at university ended with high levels of anxiety, and she was losing sleep over whether or not she had passed all her courses. Her grades were slowly rolling out, one by one, each email had been unopened. Hana did not have the courage to read them.

She had about a little more than a month before she had to begin the second half of her school year. Hana had multiple shoots lined up for her, a total of 5 projects waiting to be fulfilled when she came back to Asia.

There was something comforting about falling back into her old routine. Posing in front of the camera, contorting her face into different expressions, her hair beautifully styled with her face dolled up. Hana never liked the job. But given the opportunity to make money, Hana came to the sad realization that she needed a source of income to pay for her education. She needed to pay rent. She needed to sustain herself financially.

When Hana's mother heard about her daughter picking up projects again, the woman was relieved. Hana had just gotten back from a 3 day trip from Seoul. Her birthday was nearing. But all Hana wanted to do was to sleep – jetlag hit her hard after a week.

The model was just about to fall back onto her bed before her door opened to reveal Hana's mother. She took one look at her daughter and was shocked.

"My goodness, look at your dark circles."

No greeting. Not even a welcome back. Hana sighed and put on her glasses. She had no makeup on. She was tired. Her skin showed it, her face showed it. Clearly, her mother took no notice to Hana's lack of energy.

"Hana, I heard you took that Burberry project. Stern wasn't that great, was it? Modelling is more suited to you, anyway." Her mother looked around her room. Suitcases hadn't been unpacked, and Hana sat on her bed in a daze.

"Anyway, a little birdie told me that Chanel was looking for models during Februar—"  
"—I can't do that. I have school," she monotonously answered.  
"School? You aren't quitting Stern to go back into modelling?"

Hana exhaled. _Stay awake._ _Just a little longer._

"No."

Her mother frowned. "Why not?"  
"I need money to pay for tuition. I need to work."

The mother looked at her daughter quizzically. "You haven't been using the family funds?"  
"No." Hana wondered when she had ever said yes to her mother.  
"Why not? Don't be silly, Hana."

The young woman inhaled and exhaled. _A little longer. Be patient._

"Because I want to pay for my education. It is mine. I will not be indebted to father."

The mother shook her head exasperated. "Hana, why are you looking to make your life troublesome? You and your silly desire of going to school when you have a perfectly wonderful career. We have your whole life planned and you throw it away?"

Hana snapped out of her tired state when her mother raised her voice. She straightened her back. It was a rush of adrenaline. Adrenaline and rage.

"I'm not throwing away an opportunity to prove my worth."  
"Hana, you don't understand," her mother's tone turned sharp. "You are not the heiress. You can't be the heiress. Why won't you accept this fact?"

Hana stood from her bed and walked over to her vanity. Her hairbrush, various makeup products, skincare, all of the bottles and containers stood organized. Until Hana threw everything onto the ground in a fit of rage. Her mother widened her eyes in shock at the actions of her daughter. She had gone mad. Hana had never been so terrifying.

She was not someone to be ordering around any longer.

She was days away from turning eighteen. She was a legal adult.

"Why the hell not?" Hana shouted. "I'm not some _pawn_ you get to use for your future. I am not here to just uphold your reputation. I deserve the same opportunity to pursue whatever I please. I am not a pretty face. I am _more_ than you have ever thought of me to be."

Hana's mother stood still. Her child had never shouted at her before. Hana had always been obedient. She did what she was told. She was calm and collected. She was raised with manners and class. Hana seethed with anger, in front of her very eyes.

"Hana, sit down," her mother ordered.  
"I will not," the daughter gritted her teeth.

"Hana—"  
"—Get out," her voice turned back into an eerily calm tone.  
"No, please—"  
"—Out," Hana pointed towards the door. Her mother did not move.

"Hana," her mother tried again. She reached for her daughter's shoulder.  
"No," the girl shook her head and brushed off the slightest touch from her mother. "Enough."  
"Hear me out for this—"  
"—I've heard enough over the past 18 years. Don't you dare—"

"You have no birthright," Hana's mother cut her off. "You have no shares. You don't get a single cent in this family. You…"

Hana blinked. _You have no birthright._ "What… what do you mean? I'm the daughter of the family, I still get shares." She was days from being a legal adult. Days away from signing papers from their family lawyer, like Hiro had a year ago. Every daughter, no matter first-born or not, got shares of the company. It was a common thing in their social class. Regardless of whether she was an heir, she was part of the Sawada family.

Her mother averted her gaze. "You aren't the daughter," she quietly said.

 _You aren't the daughter._

"I'm… what am I, if not the daughter?" she tried making sense of it all. She must have been so tired that she hadn't heard correctly.

"You aren't _his_ daughter," her mother murmured. "He… knew. He'd always known."  
"Then what about Hiro?"  
"Hiro is legitimate."

 _Hiro is legitimate._

"I… I'm…"  
"Hana, please – like you haven't noticed that you look nothing alike to Hiro."

The mother watched as her daughter slowly sunk to the ground. Her eyes averted, softening from the fury she was in only minutes before. Hana ran a hand through her brown hair, running through the facts. Hana's mother watched as her daughter pieced the puzzle together.

"Then who's my father?"

Silence. The mother avoided the question.

"I've been a good mother by trying to keep you in the family. I gave you the best possible life, and you're throwing it away – refusing your privilege in using the family funds, or continuing with your modelling career, or even thinking of getting married so you can protect our reputat—"  
"You had an affair and you _dare_ —"  
"—I'm taking _responsibility_ for you, Hana! You think I wanted you to happen?!"

Hana looked up from the ground. As if her heart hadn't shattered into enough pieces. It was a stab in the gut. Nothing like any punch she had taken from her years of boxing. "You never wanted me?"

Her mother shook her head. "No, Hana – the circumstances were—"  
"—I understand. I was an inconvenience. A scandal just waiting to be uncovered if you didn't keep it under the wraps for so long."

Sleeping was the last thing she wanted to do at this point. Too many thoughts were running through her mind.

Hana took her backpack from the side of her bed. She had her passport and travel documents still stuck. She wanted to escape.

"Hana, all you have to do is keep quiet," her mother assured after Hana seemed calm enough. The girl was in the middle of picking up all of the bottles that had fallen off of her vanity. Hana refused to look at her mother.

"Nothing changes as long as you pretend you don't know."

Hana nodded. Her mother patted her daughter on the back before leaving. She heard the door close.

 _Don't you fucking cry,_ she thought to herself.

* * *

Hana couldn't help it. She had to go.

 _I'm borrowing your car._ She texted Hiro. And that was that. She was gone from the mansion, off the face of earth for who knew how long.

Sawada-san knew that his granddaughter was coming back. He didn't know when but often she'd call before coming around. It was a regular Saturday afternoon, and he was having tea with Takashi. When they had finished with their usual meal, the young man offered to clean up the kitchen while Sawada-san got the knock on the door.

He didn't expect to see his granddaughter waiting on the porch after so many months. She had aged. She was no longer the same girl he raised. The look in her eyes told him everything. The bright eyes had suddenly turned jaded. She lost weight, her face had thinned. She had a look of anger on her face.

"Hana," he calmly greeted. "Come inside, at least." The wind howled outside. Her hair blew in the wind. But Hana refused to move. She stood stiffly in the cold, glaring daggers at who she believed to be her grandfather.

"You _knew_ ," Hana seethed. "You knew I wasn't your granddaughter."  
"Who said you weren't my granddaughter?" The grandfather shouted with the exact same volume. "You are my granddaughter. Nobody can tell me otherwise."

Hana shook her head. "You _knew_ and yet you _raised_ me. Why?" Tears welled up. _No. Not now. Not in front of him. Not in front of the man who taught you never to cry, especially in front of your enemy._ "You pitied me, didn't you?"

"Hana, calm—"  
"—I can't calm down. I can't think straight, no matter how much I try. Father knew I wasn't his. You're my father's father. You must have known too."

"I did," Sawada-san wasn't the kind of man to lie. He looked straight into her eyes. He knew that she refused to cry. He watched as she fought against herself. That was how he raised her. "I knew exactly what you were."  
"Then _why?_ "  
"Because you were innocent, child. You had no part in the misfortunes that you were brought into. You deserved a fighting chance."

Hana sniffed. She refused to let the tears fall by taking deep breaths. _Just breathe._ "I deserved the truth."  
"And you got it," her grandfather pointed out. She had to find out somehow, someday. Today seemed to be that day.

The granddaughter shook her head. Sawada-san watched as his granddaughter turned her back towards him, her back crouched as she tried to hug herself to keep herself warm in the midst of winter. She quickly got into the car and drove away.

Mori casted himself out of the shadows, watching behind the shoulder of Sawada-san. He had heard the whole thing. It was hard to ignore a conversation filled with yelling. The elder grunted.

"I knew this day would come," he mumbled. Sawada-san was fully aware of Mori's presence behind him. It wasn't part of the plan to have him witness the whole thing, but the elder couldn't turn back time. Takashi had been close to the Sawadas regardless. The boy knew when to keep his mouth shut.

"It was fucking ticking time bomb that I had no idea how to detonate. It was my fault."

Mori patted the shoulder of the elder. "No," he assured. "You did what you could."

"Her birthday is in two days," Sawada-san remembered. "Of all the times…" He shook his head. Such unfortunate timing.  
"Will she be alright?" Mori asked with concern in his voice.

Sawada-san looked at the young man. "I didn't raise her to be reckless. But this… I don't know. She's always been a wildcard, even on the mat."

Takashi nodded. He knew how she fought. But Hana never fought recklessly. Except for that one time she punched a wall, he remembered. But she while she was clear-headed, her strategies never failed to impress. The elder motioned for him to come over to the kitchen.

"There's a villa up in the mountains," Sawada-san said. "Hana goes there often."  
"I know," Mori admitted, much to the elder's surprise. Before the grandfather got any wrong idea, Takashi was quick to clarify that Hiro often invited his friends over during the summers and Hana happened to be there.

"Are you busy, Takashi?" the elder relented. His tone weary, on the verge of apprehension.  
"No," Mori replied. It was winter break after all. Honey had spent the past few days sleeping and eating, getting some much needed rest after another term of engineering. 30 hours of class each week for 4 months straight took a toll on his body.

"Do you mind heading up to the villa then, Takashi? Just bring her some food and you can get home in time for dinner. It shouldn't take long. I doubt there's anything left up there. She probably hasn't been eating well. She's lost weight, and she's exhausted," Sawada explained while pulling a few leftovers from the fridge. He wrapped it up in bags, hoping that it was enough to last at least a few days.

Takashi nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Hana drove up to the wilderness. The further she drove, the more snow she came across. Roads turned from being wet, to slush, and Hana only prayed that the roads weren't going to be icy. Roads began to swerve as she began driving up the mountain. It was her first time driving up to the villa on her own. She usually had her chauffer, but not today.

At heart, Hana had always been an adrenaline junkie. Exploring the woods in the middle of winter, craving to find secret scenic views. She often dreamed of climbing dangerous mountains, paragliding over beautiful cities, or just escaping from the ground.

Driving dangerously however, was not usually on her list of thrills. The road conditions gave her a good distraction from the thoughts that ran through her mind while she navigated her way around. She was quickly losing daylight, being winter after all.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she found the familiar off-road that led to the quaint property hidden in the mountains. The sky had traces of grey clouds, blending in with the deep red and oranges. The sun was setting and the wind was in no mood to give her a break. Hana quickly gathered her belongings and made herself home in the villa.

It was still freezing.

Hana started turned on the heating before walking over to the fireplace. No firewood. It was quickly turning dark and Hana had no choice to brave the cold if she wanted to get firewood. She put on her jacket and opened the door to find Mori standing the cold with a thin windbreaker, hands full with bags and his regular backpack across one shoulder. His messy hair blew in the wind as his eyes widened in shock for just a split second.

Hana looked past him, noticing the back end of their family car exiting out of the property. He was stuck here.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Hana couldn't decide if she was angry at his company or worried for him standing in the cold with barely anything to insulate his body. He stood silent and was unsure how to piece his sentence together.

He cleared his throat. "I brought you food." It was true, technically.

Hana narrowed her eyes. "He sent you, didn't he?" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration and stared into the woods. "Fuck," she cursed aloud. "God damn it."

Mori watched as she yelled out a string of curse words into the woods before calming down. She had her gloves on, with knee-high winter boots and a grey parka. Her hair was messily tied back into a bun, showing off her ears that were turning red from the wind.

"Go inside, Takashi," she ordered. Her red mittens pointed towards the door and took away from her angry voice. "It's fucking cold and taking care of a sick person is the last thing on my mind."

Mori did as told and went into the villa. He took off his running shoes and realized how underdressed he was for the weather. He began reheating the leftovers given that it was nearly 6:30 at night. He put aside any extra food back in the fridge. Takashi wondered why her angry tone sounded oddly familiar. He wasn't bothered by the crude nature of her words, in fact he was more curious as to why it didn't faze him.

And then it hit him.

She sounded exactly like Sawada-san. Mori inwardly chuckled to himself.

He heard grunting outdoors, along with the sound of constant banging. He looked through the window to find Hana chopping firewood by herself, struggling to pull the axe out of the wood. She pulled while using her feet to push, though it only resulted in her falling backwards.

The girl got right back up, refusing to lose. She was angry. She was terrifying at a glance if you didn't know her. Hana had such fire in her, Mori figured it was probably best that he didn't approach her with an axe in hand. He quietly went back to the kitchen, calling Sawada-san to let him know that he arrived safely and that Hana was out chopping firewood.

 _Ha, she can't chop firewood. The last time I tried teaching her was when she was twelve and it left her so frustrated,_ her grandfather smiled at the memory. He paused. _Take care of her, Takashi._

He answered with an affirmative noise before hanging up.

Hana walked into the home just in time, filled with firewood in her hands. She was covered in snow but her expression was determined. She dropped a couple pieces, before putting it all down so she could take off her winter gear. Mori quickly walked over to help with the heavy lifting, moving the chopped wood over to the fireplace.

No words were needed as they got the fireplace running in no time.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," Hana grumbled. She took some time to think outdoors, on her own while letting out her frustrations. "I wasn't expecting company." Mori gave a small smile. That was the Hana he remembered, but she looked exhausted. He gently guided her to the kitchen, back to the food that he prepared.

They ate in silence. Mori offered to clean up, but Hana glared at him and told him that he was the guest. She tiredly got up from her seat, slowly gathering the dishes into the sink. But Mori beat her to turning on the tap and occupying the space in front of the sink. He tilted his head over to the fireplace, as if to tell her to go over there to wait for just a bit. Hana patted his arm out of appreciation and took his offer.

Mori came around with two cups of hot chocolate and sat comfortably on the ground with the sofa used as their back rest. Hana reached over to drape a blanket over their crossed legs. She thanked him for the cup and they both stared into the flames for a long while. The fire was mesmerizing, and the warmth kept them close by.

"You heard it, didn't you?" she realized. Mori wouldn't have come to visit her if he hadn't known what had happened. The young man nodded when she turned to look at him. Her large doe eyes turned jaded. There was no longer that glint of curiosity he remembered seeing. She fell back into a daze, only this time she looked lifeless and pale. Hana looked down at her fingers as she rhythmically tapped the edge of her green cup.

"Remember that one text… where you told me one's perception of reality may not be reality at all?" Hana's voice barely turned into a whisper. She was so tired. Physically, emotionally, it was taking a toll on her.

"I get it," Hana declared, in a quiet voice. "How one's perception of reality may not be reality at all. I feel like I've lived a lie. What I thought I knew… was really nothing at all. I knew nothing of the world."

She took a sip of her hot cocoa. "I've been naïve my entire life. I've been so sheltered… I hadn't even come across the idea that Hiro and I weren't related. I mean… how could I not have seen it all these years?"

"Because he's your brother," Mori answered. "He loved you unconditionally, it didn't matter to him."  
"Seems like love makes you blind," Hana murmured. "Blind to rationale."

Takashi observed her closely. She looked like she was half-asleep, though each time he thought she would close her eyes, she would come across another thought. He shifted closer to her, careful to keep her from dropping her own cup or damaging anything because of her fatigue.

"All these years… imagine what he must have felt."  
"Who?" he asked.  
"My…" she paused. There was no other word for it. "Father."

Mori saw her look away from the flames, and into the darkness. "He must have been so betrayed," she thought. Of all times, Hana still thought of others in the midst of her own crisis.

"I can't blame him. I can't blame anyone," Hana took another sip of her drink. "But I… I still feel cheated. My chest is heavy. My heart is tired. My brain refuses to stop thinking. Takashi, I wish I knew what to do. But I'm at a roadblock. Do I pretend I do not know? Do I continue life, bearing the Sawada name when it isn't mine to keep?"

Hana buried her head into her palms. He reached out to her in comfort. It only felt natural that his arm was over her shoulder as he rubbed her back.

"Only you can define who you are. A name means nothing if you don't give it any meaning."

The girl breathed in deeply. She nodded, taking in his words one by one. Takashi reached over to adjust the blanket over her legs, making sure that she was kept warm. She seemed so frail, and so delicate under his arm. He was afraid she would break apart.

But Hana didn't cry. Mori almost wished that she would cry so that he would know that she was processing her emotions. But she didn't. Hana was fighting an internal battle that Mori had no part of. The most he could do was to stay.

He stayed with her through the night, tending the fire until she fell asleep on his shoulder in the wee hours of the night.

Tears silently fell down her cheek as she fell asleep. As he wiped them away, he could only sigh.

 _Blind to rationale._

He should have let her sleep on the sofa. But the weight of her body against his felt like she fit perfectly. He couldn't let her go.

He didn't _want_ to let go. If he did, she would be gone in no time. She would continue on with her orbit, and he would have to wait patiently, wondering if she would ever come back.

And just once, Takashi wanted to be selfish. Keeping her beside him. Having her turn to him in the darkest of times.

He wanted to be her light.

* * *

A/N: I've placed hints about Hana's lineage through her appearance a couple chapters back. But I mean, hints were kinda strewn everywhere so I wondered if anyone found that odd, haha. I've posted this up hastily because I'm off to go somewhere so I apologise in advance for any mistakes. Anyway, thanks again for reading. I appreciate all of you, and your wonderful reviews.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

She woke up in the early hours of the morning, her body wrapped in a blanket and a source of heat under her face that rhythmically went up and down. Hana woke up to her neck sore, and her eyes felt like they were glued shut. She pried her eyes open to find the view of the fireplace that died out over the night. Hana felt the weight of something against head while her neck craned to the right, resting comfortably to what seemed to be a shoulder.

It couldn't have been past 8 in the morning, she guessed. But Hana wasn't the kind of person to fall asleep after she had woken. She stayed in the position just for a few more minutes.

She felt safe, wrapped up in a blanket that covered them both, his arm around her shoulder as she laid against his own shoulder. He was fast asleep as far as she could tell.

This was her escape. A few more minutes of bliss. And then she would let go, before he could feel how fast her heart began to pound against her rib cage. She was felt guilty for having him stay. He was in no position to comfort her, it was never his obligation to do so. She kept him up throughout the night and Hana knew that he must have been exhausted making sure she was alright.

She carefully pried his arm off of her, laying him down against the floor with a cushion to support his head. She draped another blanket over his body, layering up so he wouldn't catch a cold. She restarted the fire before taking one last look at him. Hana reached out to touch his spiky hair, it was softer than she imagined. He would wake up to a bed head, though it seemed like his hair was eternally bedhead-like regardless.

Hana was shivering without the warmth of Takashi and decided to take a hot shower. It was much needed. She paused before the mirror to take a look at herself. Her hair was a mess, the bun falling apart. The dark circles under her eyes were deeper than she thought, while her eyes were swollen and red. She took out the contacts in her eyes. She still looked like a complete train wreck. Her face had thinned over the past few months, from stress and the lack of sleep.

When Hana cleaned herself up, her hair was in a clean ponytail and her face looked like she hadn't gone through a zombie apocalypse at the very least. She changed out of her old clothes. Hana needed a fresh start.

She walked downstairs to find Mori rubbing his eyes. He must have just woken up. He stretched his neck, probably sore from sleeping in an unfamiliar position. Hana caught him mid-yawn, before he noticed her watching him.

He immediately closed his mouth, embarrassed that she saw him all bleary-eyed and tired. She smiled and told him to take a warm shower to loosen the neck muscles. She tilted her head slightly, letting her ponytail swerve to the side of the stairs. He silently followed her instructions.

He wondered how she was faring. Was she okay? She smiled at him as she usually did, but Mori couldn't see her eyes from afar. She never lied through her eyes. He grabbed what was meant to be his gym bag, but after his escapade through the past 24 hours, it was a well-needed change of clothing.

When he got to the top floor with various bathrooms, he was led to the one with the light on. An extra toothbrush was placed for him neatly beside a tube of toothpaste. Her makeup bag was open, along with her hairbrush aside and various skincare products placed on the counter. Mori curiously looked at each bottle before he washed up. A face towel was placed beside the sink, along with a clean towel that hung over the shower door. It was the small details that made him realize that she thought of him.

He walked down to the kitchen with his hair still damp after being towel dried. Hana was in the midst of cutting up apples. Two bowls were prepared with rice and heated leftovers from the night prior. The kettle was above the stove, slowly bringing the water to the boil.

Mori noticed a change of clothes. A knitted cardigan over a grey tank top with black knitted leggings. Her feet were bare. She never seemed to like wearing socks. He slowly approached her at the kitchen bar, and sat across from her.

"Morning," Hana politely greeted, concentrating on cutting the apples. Mori noticed the small details in her face. Her dark circles were no longer there. Her complexion perfect. Her eyes were lined thinly beneath the rectangular framed glasses she wore. _Maybe that's what makeup does._  
"Mm," he reciprocated. He was content watching her doing the most menial tasks.

"Do you mind making tea? There's a can of loose leaves in the cabinet behind me," she put him to work assuming that he must've felt awkward just watching her. The truth was that he wasn't. But Mori followed her orders regardless.

They ate breakfast in silence.

Hana put the last piece of grilled mackerel in his bowl. "You like the way Ojii-san cooks it," she offered in explanation. It wasn't only him who had been watching her closely. Her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, gritting out the word grandfather.

Mori nodded and accepted her kind gesture. He had no words of comfort to give, and Hana was aware of that. She didn't need words of condolence. She was stronger than that.

Takashi silently began cleaning up the table, taking the dishes over to the sink. But Hana stopped him just in time.

"It's my turn," Hana insisted. Mori cleaned up the night before. "I'll clean up." Her eyes refused him of any argument. He could only nod and watch her instead. She was meticulous in everything she did. When Hana realized that Takashi wasn't about to leave her alone, she smiled.

"Can you do me a favour?"

He nodded. No questions asked. Hana almost wished that he would at least ask what the favour was, or why. But he looked at her with such

"Can you uh, check my emails? Just… the ones from NYU. Let me know if uh, I passed my classes," she sheepishly smiled. Mori walked over to the counter where her phone was placed.

"Passcode is 0505," Hana answered before he asked.  
"Why?" he pondered out loud. It was the first thing he had said in a while and his deep voice often caught her off guard.  
"It's uh," she stuttered. "It's a birthday."

Takashi smiled at the screen. May 5th was his birthday. But Hana wouldn't have known that. _It's a nice coincidence._

Mori scrolled through her inbox. Each unopened email was a grade from her courses. Hana was on top of every email, even the one that had been sent 1 hour ago, all but the ones that had anything to do with a grade.

Each grade landed in the B range, with percentages of high seventies to low eighties. It was pretty decent considering she was an international student and in a competitive program. Hana finished with the dishes, putting each of them away before sitting beside him on the bar stool. She was anxious, almost afraid of the results.

"You passed," Takashi answered.

Hana let out a long exhale while her eyes were closed. "I was so afraid."  
"Why?"  
"I can't afford to drop out. Not now, not ever. This is my way out now. There's no going back anymore."

He looked at her perplexed. Way out of what?

"I just can't... stay," Hana wasn't sure what to call it. The upper class with luxury. "It's suffocating. I don't belong in it anyway," she murmured. No birthright. No shares. She wasn't meant to be rich. She was a fraud, and always had been. "I've been so sheltered. I'm still naïve. How else can I have a way out without learning? Without looking at the world with new perspectives? I cannot. I _will_ not."

Mori watched the spark in her eyes flicker with determination. The same kind that he saw on the mat when she refused to lose. The kind that he would cower to and surrender when given a choice. He admired that.

"Is it not easier to stay?" Any logical person would understand that being rich would make life easier, especially if one was accustomed to the lifestyle. Realistically, it was better that she stayed rich without needing to worry about finding a job, or sustaining herself without the help of her family.

"My heart," Hana mumbled. "It feels too heavy. If I have to carry this burden for the rest of my life, knowing that I'm not who I am, staying in this bubble forever… Takashi, I'm too selfish. I cannot. I cannot bear to think of the guilt I will harbour for a lifetime."

She looked down to the counter. She was ashamed of taking the selfish route. Hana couldn't help it. She wanted things that she could not have, she always craved for more. More of her own decisions, more independence, more exploring, more of learning to be herself.

Was that so wrong?

Hana stopped dawdling, realizing that she already put too much of a burden on Mori. He always listened to her. He never once complained. He never once seemed like he was bothered. Hana finished up her beverage quickly and walked to the sink to wash the mug.

Mori watched as she avoided him, looking guilty for pestering him again. He was never bothered. But for some reason, he couldn't utter out those words.

 _I'm not bothered._  
 _I'm honoured that you trust me.  
Please don't leave. _

"Come on," Hana smiled. Her eyes did not. "Let me drive you home."

* * *

The drive back to the city was silent for the most part. Until Mori asked a question that was itching at the back of his mind.

"Whose birthday is it?"  
"Hm?" Hana's eyes were affixed on the road.  
"The passcode."

Hana chuckled. _Of all the questions he was the most interested in…_

"It's Ojii-san's," she quietly answered.  
"Oh," he nodded. _Of course._

Mori watched as her smile turned into a thin line. Things wouldn't be the same with the lingering thought in the back of her mind.

"He loves you very much," Takashi broke the ice.  
"I know," she nodded. "I… just… feel wrong? Maybe, guilty? It's very confusing." Hana sighed.

Mori watched as she leaned back into her seat while still taking control of the wheel. She fell into a spiral of thoughts. He pulled her back.

"I share the same birthday as him," he tried.  
"Oh," Hana wasn't aware of that. Her voice perked up. "That's cool. I'll keep that in mind the next time."

Takashi was out of topics to talk about. He wished he was more of a conversationalist. Just with her. Nobody else.

"You know what else you share?" A playful grin crept up her lips. Takashi found himself smiling at her. It was contagious. "You two share a name."

Takashi Sawada. The drunk pact that the grandfathers made came into full effect, naming their grandchildren after each other. The grandfather missed the train with Hiro, as the name was chosen by his son. But Hana was a different story. When she was born, the elder insisted on the name despite the fact that Hanada wasn't exactly a name for a girl. Hanada Morinozuka was rather disappointed. But Takashi Sawada made it work.

"Does that mean…" Mori began piecing the puzzle together.  
"My first name is actually Marielle, chosen by my mother," she revealed. "My full name is Marielle Hana Sawada. Marielle Sawada is what I use overseas. I guess Hana just stuck since we spoke Japanese, and Marielle doesn't quite flow with the language."

Takashi nodded in understanding.

"I wonder what other dumb shit the drunkards thought of," Hana grumbled, shaking her head. Takashi let out a deep chuckle.

Hana let the sound ring throughout the car. It made her tingle inside, having him laugh. He never laughed in front of her. He only smiled. Maybe sheepishly grinned from time to time. But this was a first. It put a smile on her face, one that didn't have to be forced. The smile stayed the rest of the journey back.

The two were bound together by fate. Their names intertwined. Takashi found that very comforting, like he would always have a piece of her in some way. When they reached the Morinozuka residence, he was reluctant to step out of the car. His legs didn't will him to do so.

"Thanks," he quietly said. _I appreciate the ride,_ he wanted to say. But his throat always seemed to close. Mori grabbed his bag from the backseat and had a hand on the door handle before Hana firmly gripped his arm. He still only had a windbreaker on, and it was much too cold for him to be walking like that all the time.

"You should invest in a jacket," Hana said, concern lingering in her voice.

Mori shrugged. He was fine. He jogged to places most of the time, keeping the circulation of blood flowing through his veins to warm himself up.

"And uhm," she tried to piece the words in her head. "Thank you. You didn't have to come all the way up to the villa and… stay."

 _It's fine._ He wanted to say. _As long as you're okay._ He only wished that she could read minds. But Hana was only human. She could only take his silence as a means of accepting her gratitude in some way. The girl reached over to the backseat. It was a thick knitted scarf, grey in colour and soft to touch.

She carefully wrapped it over his neck, making sure he wasn't entirely exposed to the cruel winter winds. Hana leaned over to his body, stretching from the driver's seat. It was almost a hug. He got a whiff of her perfume, Mori almost wished that she would linger. But his hands were tied and he was frozen in place.

"You need it more than I do," she explained. Hana reached out to his hand, still warm to touch. She smiled. "Take care, okay?" She squeezed his hand.

Mori could only nod, still fazed by the feeling of her cold fingers. He wanted to enclose her hand in his, but she let go before his fingers got the chance to react. He was too slow. Always too slow.

"Happy birthday," he was a day early, but he said it before he stepped out into the coldness. He then waved so he could send her off.

And then she drove away, orbiting farther and farther.

And all he had was her scarf that smelled like her.

* * *

Mori continued his weekly visits to Sawada-san, as if nothing had ever happened. It was the middle of February as they walked through the park now filled with snow. The dog paid no mind to the damp ground, walking along happily in the cold. They passed the usual convenience store where Sawada-san bought his newspapers.

Sawada-san noticed his granddaughter on the cover of a fashion magazine, hair mussed up with her hand with her dark red lips parted as she posed with a long blue gown.

"That's my granddaughter," he pointed out to the store owner. Sawada-san was a regular at the store for many years, and the two had grown to be quite friendly.  
"You say that every time, old man," the owner grumbled. "Just because you two share the same family name doesn't mean you two are related. I mean, I knew two Sawadas growing up!"

The elder narrowed his eyes. "I say it every time because it's true."  
"Yeah yeah, so are you going to buy it or not?" the store owner pressed. "I mean, it's okay to _look_ , she's beautiful. But don't go around getting silly idea—"  
"Of course she's beautiful, she's my granddaughter! We can't go through this every time she's on a cover," the elder threw his hands up, obviously exasperated. Sawada-san promptly paid for the papers and grumbled as Mori followed him out of the store, taking hold of Kaina's leash.

"God damn it," the grandfather shoved the magazine into Mori's chest, to which he caught just in time with his free hand. "Gonna take her to that very shop to prove to that punk that I'm her grandfather."

Mori chuckled to himself. He was careful to not make any noise so that the elder wouldn't call him out for it. They reached the home, warming themselves up from the cold. Takashi took care of the dog, taking it off its leash.

He found himself sitting in the living room, flipping through the magazine that was shoved into his chest. She was pretty. She always had been. He found his heart beating faster while he stared at her looking directly at him with her hazel eyes. Mori wanted to kick himself for being so silly. She wasn't even physically there.

"She's all grown up," the grandfather said as he watched the young man stare longingly at the magazine. The elder poured tea. It was their usual routine. One that the grandfather reluctantly grown to like, the young man proved himself to be surprisingly useful.

"She'll come back," Hana's grandfather assured himself. "Hana will come back, won't she?"

Mori looked up from the pages. "Of course," he answered.

"You two still do that thing with the phones?" the elder grumbled.  
The young man smirked. "Yes."  
"How is she?"  
"Busy," Mori answered. "Midterm season."

The elder nodded. "She hasn't called since."  
Mori nodded. "She still worries about you," he assured.  
"Well, I worry about her," the grandfather murmured. "She's tougher than she looks but… she took a hard hit."

"She's fine." Or at least, she was thought to be fine. Mori hadn't heard back from her in quite some time.

The elder nodded before finishing off his tea. Mori waited patiently and then took his leave at an appropriate time. He got up and bowed, leaving to go towards the door. The grandfather stopped him.

"Take the magazine," Sawada-san threw it at the man who was across the room. "You don't think I see you looking at her the way you do?" He raised an eyebrow.

Mori froze, clutching the paper in his hands. Like a deer caught in the headlights, his only reaction was to stay in the same position before the elder chuckled. He took that as a sign to relax.

"That scarf is hers," he pointed at the grey wool over his neck. "Isn't it?"

Takashi cleared his throat before answering, though he was cut off.

"Get outta here, you little rascal. I'll see you next week," Sawada-san waved him off with an amused grin.

* * *

 _Sorry I haven't been texting back._

Hana sat in her apartment in New York during her spring break, phone in her hand as she stayed up into the wee hours after midnight. Midterm season had finally ended after a gruelling month. She quickly deleted the text that she hadn't sent.

 _Sawada-san bought newspaper today and argued with the storeowner._

 _Kaina went for her check-up. She is healthy._

 _Sawada-san's neck has been sore lately. Treated him with hot/cold patches._

 _Had dinner with Sawada-san. He craved apples today._

Hana scrolled through the messages that Mori diligently sent over the past few months. Like clockwork, he never missed a week. It was already Sunday morning, or for Japan, it was Sunday afternoon. Hana, for some reason, couldn't find the will to text him back.

Texting didn't seem right.

The polite thing was to text him back, of course. Hana was not raised without manners. She was grateful for his updates. She read the texts just as diligently as Takashi sent them, reading them over and over during those lonely nights she stayed up while studying.

Her finger grazed over the keys.

 _Thanks._

She deleted the letters. That wasn't enough to express her gratitude. It wasn't sincere. Nothing seemed sincere over text. Hana groaned. She twisted against her couch, clutching a cushion as she battled with herself on what to say.

* * *

Mori was writing an essay. Or at least, he was trying to write an essay. Books were strewn all over his desk, loose papers with all of his notes were scattered all around. The wind howled against his window frame, it was nearly spring but the traces of winter just refused to disappear.

Takashi leaned against his chair, rubbing his temples. He looked towards the door, with his jacket and grey scarf that hung on the hooks. _The scarf._ It was her scarf. But it kept him warm throughout the cold months. Mori wished that it stayed cold, just so he could carry it around without looking strange or out of place.

His thoughts glazed over to her. He wondered how she was doing. It was like radio silence between him and her. Takashi diligently sent signals over, and he waited patiently for a response. He was never frustrated. Mori had a strong sense of faith in her. She would return. She always did, without fail.

He jumped back to reality when his phone vibrated against the table. _Odd._ No one called him. Unless it was Honey, but even so, he hadn't spoken to his cousin in a while.

 _Hana Sawada_ _is calling,_ he read off the phone. Mori blinked. Was this real? Takashi dropped his phone accidentally and let it ring for so long that he unintentionally let it go to voicemail.

Takashi punched the air, wishing that he hadn't just missed the opportunity. He let himself calm down before picking up the phone that fell to the ground from his clumsiness.

 _It was probably an accident._ He checked the time. _1:46 PM._ It was much too late for Hana to be up anyway. Mori picked up his phone and there it was: _Voicemail (1)._

He cautiously unlocked the screen of his phone and immediately listened to the voicemail.

 _Hey._

It was her. It was _her_ voice. His heart skipped a beat. She sounded tired. There was a pause.

 _Uh. So, I guess you're busy – which is fine. Um. I just wanted to – wow, my Japanese must sound strange now._

Hana tried to cover up her awkwardness by laughing. Mori smiled to himself. Her Japanese was still perfect even while she lived in America.

 _Anyway. I just… I wanted to thank you. And I'm also sorry for being terrible at replying to your texts. I read them. All the time, actually. I uh, I read them a lot when… I need—_

The girl sighed.

 _Never mind. I hope you're doing well, really. Let me know what you're up to, yeah? I'm um. I'm going to go. Good night. I mean, wait – good morning. No. Afternoon. Yes, that. Sorry._

She took a deep breath. He could practically hear her embarrassment through the other line. Takashi's smile turned into a grin.

 _Take care, Takashi._

The long beep signalled the end of the message. It was much too short. But it was just a voicemail after all.

Mori instantly hit replay.

 _Hey._

His heart skipped again.

* * *

Sawada-san got two things in the mail in late April.

A birthday card from his granddaughter, along with a package of dog treats for Kaina.

 _Ojii-san,  
I won't be here this year. But have a shot of sake for me.  
With all my love,  
Your granddaughter, Hana_

And another letter addressed to Takashi. Which if you thought about it, was technically two birthday cards addressed to him. In his defense, he wasn't sure which one to open and he easily glazed over the name Morinozuka.

He was an elder, for god sake. He could do whatever the hell he wanted. He ripped open the box without hesitance.

 _Takashi,_

 _Thank you for being so kind. I will never be able to express my gratitude to you for all that you've done. Have a splendid birthday._

 _Hana_

The package had a book in English so the elder couldn't read any of it.

Sawada-san groaned. He didn't get a book. But then again, he had no patience for novels. The elder grumbled at the dog treats that Kaina began sniffing. It took him just about a minute to get over it before he put his birthday card on the fridge. It was the first time she had contacted him since she knew. The grandfather nodded to himself. She was coming back. Slowly, but surely.

Takashi came over shortly with a bag of dog kibble in his arms, just the regular errands that he did every few weeks. He settled himself down at the usual living room table while Sawada-san made tea.

He noticed a card placed on top of a book. It was a birthday card. Mori curiously opened it, wondering who it was addressed to.

It was for him. From her.

It instantly put a smile on his lips. His eyes widened at the book choice. It was in English, but that didn't matter. Years of Ouran taught him enough English to get by if he really needed to. Sawada-san watched the young man's expression change from being complacent to a sheer moment of joy. The elder held the tray of tea while watching him from the kitchen door.

"Don't think I can't see that dumb grin on your face, kid," the grandfather warned. Mori instantly pursed his lips in embarrassment. Maybe fear. Sawada-san hoped that it was fear. It wouldn't be fun without it.

He poured the tea silently, eyeing Takashi while doing so.

"Do you do it for her?" Sawada-san got straight to the point.  
"Hm?" Mori looked up from the table with his present.  
"Your visits. You do it for her," the elder pointed out.

Takashi wanted to shake his head. He didn't just visit Sawada-san for Hana. Or did he? He wasn't sure. At first, he just wanted a distraction. And then a weekly distraction became a habit. And then it just became… a thing. No thought required. No thought given.

"It's fine," the grandfather shrugged. "You're my only connection to her. It's mutually beneficial."

Takashi nodded.

"So… you in love with my granddaughter, or what?"

Mori choked on his tea, coughing for a good minute thereafter.

The elder cackled, nearly toppling over onto the tatami mat.

"Just messin' with ya," the grandfather smirked.

* * *

 **A/N:** Somewhat of a filler chapter, so I apologise. I flew out of the country on a last-minute sort of scenario, so my access to wifi is limited and I haven't gotten time to write. It terrifies me that it is already August and I promised myself I would finish this story before school begins again. I hope this chapter suffices. As always, thanks for reading. Your thoughts are always appreciated.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

He wouldn't call it love. The goddamn word had been running through his mind since Sawada-san brought it up.

No, that was… that wasn't it. Takashi wasn't sure what love was. It was a word thrown around a lot. But for him, the word love meant much more. Something much more intangible. Something he didn't think he hadn't quite experienced.

He experienced a longing for her. But nothing more. He admired her, in every facet. But it wasn't enough to call it love. Mori liked her… though not enough that he couldn't function without her. He just wanted to be her friend. A good friend. He wouldn't dare ask for more. He didn't depend on her.

But dependency didn't seem right when it came to love. It wasn't right to be dependent. Takashi wouldn't dare hold her down. Hana had such a free spirit, it was always there with her when he ran with her, or when they fought. The way she looked up towards the sky, like she belonged there. And he was would just wait, on the ground, watching from afar.

He didn't have any reason to contact her, or to see her unless it was by pure chance, or because he was asked to. Takashi couldn't will himself to text her beyond what she asked of him. She was busy, she had priorities, and he didn't dare to get in her way.

The thought of her came up every time he visited Sawada-san. Takashi decided that he needed another distraction so he took up a job part-time at the university library. It was quiet and calming, and the job was easy. It worked out, given that he had no problem reaching the high shelves. His hours increased as the summer break came around.

It so happened that the entire club was scattered across the globe.

Honey had taken an engineering internship for the summer. Tamaki was off in France, Kyouya in America, while the Twins were off at some fashion design institute in Italy. Haruhi was going off to Boston in a few months time. Hiro was still off touring with his music.

And then there was him.

Still stagnant.

Still in Tokyo.

Organizing books on tall shelves.

That feeling of being left behind kept crawling back to him. He was stuck in time. Feeling lost and confused. He thought of her.

 _You give me hope. That I'm not alone in this._

He wondered when he'd see her again. If their orbits would ever cross, despite everyone else that rocketed away.

* * *

The summer for Hana meant modelling projects lined up for her, but it also meant another contract signing for the next few years. The date was quickly approaching and she did her best to focus at what was at hand.

"When are you home?" Hiro asked. He was on tour in Europe. The siblings called each other every once in a while, though the older they grew, the farther they seemed to grow apart.

"Um," Hana coughed uncomfortably. "I won't be home for the summer." She didn't want to go back. She wasn't ready.

"Why not?" Hiro asked. "I'll be home in a couple weeks, but then I'm flying to LA to work with a producer."

"Yeah um, I'll be in Seoul in the next few weeks. Singapore thereafter, then Shanghai."

"Since when did you get so busy? You usually schedule them with a few days of a break," the brother's voice grew in concern. "Is Mom making you do these projects?"

Hana shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "No, uh, things just worked out this way."

"Where are you now then?"

"Airport," she answered vaguely. Hana absentmindedly flipped through her passport. Stamps from Italy from when she travelled to Milan, the UK for London, New York in America of course, for school.

"You'll be at my release party though, right?" Hiro's voice suddenly turned hopeful, realizing that his sister was busier than he thought she would be.

"Yeah of course. It's your first album, I promised I'd be there." Hana quickly checked the date again, and sighed in relief when she realized that she could make it. "Listen um, I have to go. I'll call you whenever, Hiro."

Hana ended the call before her brother could question her any further. She felt guilty for doing so, but it was always easier to run. Run away from whatever that made her feel heavy inside. Hiro was in no capacity to understand how she felt, and Hana refused to get in the way of his own happiness.

Hiro was living his dream. Hana was trying to figure out how to survive. It felt like she lived in a different world from him and she was alright with that. Living in ignorant bliss was envious, in a sense. It was a complicated web of emotions she had towards her family. Or whatever they would be called.

In truth, Hana actually took the last month of her summer off – one month before her contract renewal with the modeling agency. As the model got back into the swing of things, she watched as the numbers in her bank account grow slowly but surely. It was all hers to spend, but it would only last a couple years at most after paying for school and the living expenses that incurred.

Reality was a hard truth to swallow. It was impossible to live the way she was used to without money, but it was a tough road ahead to say no to her accustomed lifestyle. In fact, she contemplated on renewing her modelling contract, just in case. A safety net of sorts, if things didn't work out she would still have a job, whether she liked it or not. It would pay the bills, and quite sufficiently so.

The months went by as Hana kept herself busy. The last thing on her list before her real vacation of one month was to attend Hiro's release party, held on a floor of some hotel. It was just one night, she told herself. She dressed simply, in an attempt to be discreet.

Record producers, managers, recording artists, and a whole mix of socialites happened to be there. Hana hadn't realized that Hiro's network extended so far. _Good for him,_ she thought. It seemed like he was in good hands.

Hana found herself in a corner, watching people go by and catching a glance at her. As if they knew her from _somewhere_ but not quite being able to place a finger on where exactly. Nonetheless, nobody questioned her presence, they knew she was famous of some kind. She stood in place, watching and waiting for her brother.

"Well, well, well," a voice came up from behind.  
"If isn't Hana Sawada, the supermodel who is rumoured to be one of the highest-paid models in Asia after an 8 month hiatus," another voice finished the sentence.

Hana sighed in relief. The Hitachiin Twins were here to support Hiro, which only meant the Host Club was here too. At least it was a familiar face, or two familiar faces that put her in a little more ease than before. The model bowed politely as a greeting and smiled.

"Heard you picked up a modelling stint for our athletic line eh?" Kaoru winked.  
"Gave us one hell of a bill too," Hikaru added.

Hana only sheepishly smiled. "Well, I mean. Thanks for the job." All she could do was stay humble amidst all of the teasing. Before she knew it, Hana was surrounded by Tamaki and joined by Kyouya in the shadows. Hiro finally came by, hugging his sister first and thanking his friends for coming.

The usual festivities went on, with champagne, congratulatory speeches, and soon enough music was blaring through the speakers. It was a full out clubbing scene that Hana quietly slipped away from. The event made her feel stuffy, and her feet were already sore from standing for so long, making small talk with the Host Club. Mostly Kyouya, as they discussed the stock market. As soon as the loud music came on, they dispersed.

Hana limped over her way into where the elevators were, reaching out into her bag for her phone with unread text messages and emails. The model wasn't paying attention when she accidentally bumped into a large figure.

"I'm so sorry, I should've been looking at where I was going," Hana was the first to apologize, head bowed down. She looked up to see a familiar face. He too, was surprised to find her here of all places. "Takashi?"

He nodded. "You alright?"

Hana nodded in response. "You're uh, you're late. Or I mean, er, fashionably late?" she tried joking. He was dressed up in a suit, with a skinny tie that was obviously tied in a rush. Hana took a double take. He got a haircut, she noticed. His hair was less of a mess, though Hana never seemed to mind it either way. Mori's lips were pursed into a thin line, in an attempt to keep himself from grinning as he watched her ramble.

"If you're here to find Hiro, it's impossible. He's swallowed up by crowds in there," Hana gave him a heads up. "Text him that you're around. Maybe you'll have better luck that way?" She put a hand on his arm, patting it before she reached over to push the elevator button.

Takashi was still in disbelief that he found her here. Of course, it made sense that she would be here to support Hiro. He just didn't expect her to be so… easily found. Like it was fate.

"Honey isn't here?" Hana looked around. She didn't see him earlier during the party either.

"It's past his bedtime," Mori explained. Hana looked at the time on her phone. 10:04 PM. "He's busy with his internship during the day."

She nodded in understanding. "What about you?"  
"Had a night shift," he answered. Hana didn't know that he had a job. She stayed still, waiting for him to continue. "At the library of my university." He offered in explanation. Hana smiled, liking how she only needed a little bit of patience to get to what she wanted to know.

The elevator came just at the right time and Hana smiled again before bowing.

"I won't keep you. Go find Hiro. Have fun," she stepped into the elevator and waved.

Mori could only watch the elevators close. He was frozen in place. He couldn't even wave back, still in a daze that they managed to cross paths again. What the hell was wrong with him? He could only watch the elevator numbers rise, up until the very top floor. Mori looked towards the walls, booming with heavy bass and back to the elevator doors.

Instinctively, he panicked and rapidly pushed the elevator button again. Who was he kidding? Clubbing wasn't his thing. He wanted to be a good friend but just being outside of the blaring music made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Hiro wouldn't have noticed him being there anyway. The elevator finally came after what seemed like eons.

Mori quickly got onto it, pushing the button for the highest floor.

He walked out into the hallway and found a small veranda, usually meant for hotel residents that wanted a night view of the Tokyo skyline. The door was open by just a tiny bit, held open by a small doorstop wedged in between. His legs took him over to the exit, and he caught a figure in a dress, back exposed to the summer heat of Tokyo. It beautifully lined her figure in a plain navy blue, dipping down just enough to expose the middle of her back. The dark fabric protruded smoothly into an A-line skirt at her waist, and her grey heels matched perfectly with the dress. Her brown hair was up in a high ponytail. She dressed simply, probably because she didn't want to attract attention he figured.

Takashi watched her carefully, her shoulder stiffened and her stance began to shift. She heard his footsteps. But she didn't know it was him. Her first line of defense, he always saw it.

"It's me," he confirmed, easing her out of any worries. Hana turned around and immediately relaxed.

"What are you doing up here? I thought you were going to go find Hiro," the young woman looked at him with curious eyes, eyeing him from head to toe. There was a slight breeze from being so high up, and his hair blew in the wind. His dark blazer was unbuttoned and he immediately reached over to his tie to loosen it. Hana noticed her breath hitching at the action.

Mori shrugged.

"Clubbing isn't your thing either," Hana understood after she came to her senses. Of course it wasn't. Mori and clubbing? Not in a million years. She gave him a small smile and tilted her head over to the railing. "Come see the view then. It's quite lovely."

He followed her instructions and approached the railing to stand right beside her. She leaned over the railing, arms crossed and her fingers painted a dark red to match with her lips. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

And as always, she came to his rescue. Her eyes were affixed on the bright city lights, and Takashi was always thankful she never seemed to notice the way he stumbled around her. He wondered if she was just pretending not to see his throat being caught, or the way he gazed at her.

In truth, Hana was afraid that the more she looked at him, the less coherent she would become. He was _attractive._ She'd been surrounded by beautiful people for a living but he… he elicited something in her that she hadn't felt before.

"You've been well, yeah?" Hana finally found the words.  
"Mm," he answered. It was a yes. Sort-of. He was well, for the most part. He had a daily routine that he slipped into.

"Thank you," she murmured. She turned to him, meeting his eyes briefly. "I can finally do it in person after so long. I appreciate you keeping tabs on Ojii-san." Hana bowed her head to show her sincerity. Mori placed his hand on her shoulder, and shook his head. _It's nothing, really._

Hana stiffened and he felt it beneath his grip. Takashi immediately took his hand away, afraid that he might have overstepped his boundaries. The girl didn't mean for him to recoil. She was just surprised by his touch. Her heart skipped a beat and her immediate reaction was to stiffen in fear.

 _What's happening to me?_

"Sorry, um," Hana stuttered. "I've just been stressed and busy and… I—"  
"It's alright," he cut her off. It was his fault. He took a small step away from her and gazed over to the city. But his eyes couldn't help but to steal another glance at her. She leaned against the railing and looked down to the city.

"How um, how did you find me?"  
He was silent. He watched the elevator go up to the tallest floor because he couldn't move after she left. He was paralyzed. He didn't know what willed him to chase after her. To find her. To see her again.

Hana turned away, embarrassed. "What am I saying? You probably weren't looking for me in the first place."

 _But I was._

"It's still nice to see you again, Takashi," she murmured, just loud enough for him to hear.

He cleared his throat. "You… you as well."

The two stood in comfortable silence, unsure what to say but they both didn't want to say goodbye to one another. Hana put a stray hair behind her ear, while Mori loosened his tie a little more.

"You… look…" Takashi worked up the courage. _Beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning._ "Pretty." He almost kicked himself. He had all these words in mind and his brain decided on _pretty_.

Hana smiled. He called her beautiful before but at the time, she thought he was being nice – a gentleman as always. But something about the way he said it this time, his hesitance and averted gaze, there was something different.

"Thank you," she answered. "You as well."

Hana mulled over her last sentence, realizing something. "I mean, not pretty, but…y-you look really attractive… in um, the best way possible." She face palmed. Hana was usually composed with these things. Compliments were things she often received and she took them with grace. But this time… it was different. It was from _him_.

Mori smiled in relief for the way that they both clumsily formed sentences. Hana was trying to recover from embarrassment while she shook her head at herself – as if she assumed that he was still looking at the skyline. His smile grew into a smirk as he pretended not to see.

Hana shifted her stance, leaning down to check on her heels. Mori peered over to see the back of her feet bleeding. She sighed. It was not a surprise, in fact it was such a regular thing to be wearing uncomfortable shoes that Hana shrugged at the sight.

 _Was she going to walk home like that?_ He wondered. He wasn't going to have her do that. Mori leaned down before her with his back facing her.

"Get on."  
"Um," Hana stood frozen, on one foot. "It's fine, Takashi. I'm used to this. I'm capable of walking." She patted his back so he would get up. Hana refused to be piggybacked. But he didn't seem to want to move.

"Really, it's not like walking barefoot is a big deal." Hana stepped onto the ground to prove it to him. "I've done it before."

Mori shook his head, his head turned to see her still standing in place. Hana placed her shoes aside and walked over to face him. She held out a hand, standing tall above him.

"I am no princess to be kneeling for, Takashi. Stand up. I will have none of this." Her voice sharply cut through the rooftop, authoritative but not angry. She was not going to argue with him and he was not the type to argue anyway.

Takashi reached up to her hand, to which she pulled with all her strength – enough to make him stumble forwards. He always forgot how strong she really was. He was dangerously close, enough so that he had a whiff of her beautifully long hair. Close enough so that he could feel her warmth, and it wasn't just from the summer heat of Tokyo. She was shorter now, without her heels.

Hana hadn't expected him to stumble forward. She could see the veins of his neck, his Adam's apple shifting. He was uncomfortable and Hana didn't realize she was still holding his hand. She gently let go and looked up at him.

"How busy are you?" Hana changed the topic, but took a moment to find what she was going to say. She was almost afraid that she couldn't grit out the whole sentence without stuttering.  
"Hm?" He finally looked down at her, meeting her eyes.  
"How often do you work?"  
"Weekdays."

She nodded in understanding. "Oh." Her tone was borderline disappointed. She looked away.  
"Why?"

Hana shrugged. "I kind of… wanted to run with you again," she explained. "I'm taking a month off for vacation at the villa since no one's there."

"What are you escaping from this time?" Mori asked. He knew her pattern well enough.  
"Hm…" Hana took a few seconds to think. "I don't know. I've yet to process what I'm feeling or to put a finger on what I am running away from. I've been too busy... but I just… I need a break."

Mori nodded. She deserved a break.

"Weekends."  
"What?" Hana turned to him again.  
"I'm free on weekends." He usually visited Sawada-san on Saturdays, but Mori had a feeling that the elder wouldn't mind him missing a weekend. He was always grumbling about how he didn't need someone to check up on him all the time.

She smiled. "You don't have to, especially if you're busy."  
"I want to," he insisted. _See you again. Run with you again. Be with you again._

Hana nodded. "Alright then. See you… on a weekend then?"  
"Hm."

He watched her pick up her shoes from the ground and smiled. "I'm excited. Let's find a new trail to run, yeah?"  
Takashi could only nod. Her excitement was contagious. His heart beat faster, his tunnel vision had only her at the end of the light. She gracefully walked away, using only the tips of her feet to walk across the rooftop. She gave one last wave before opening the door and leaving him behind.

There was something relieving about knowing that he would see her again.

* * *

May was a beautiful month. Sunshine, warm weather, flowers bloomed. Early August however, brought typhoons. Heavy rain, dark clouds, slippery roads. The sun had risen, but the rain hadn't stopped. It was drizzling outside, the trails muddy and the trees dripping with cold pellets.

Nonetheless, the early birds woke and Hana was dressed and ready to go. She was in the midst of tying her shoes before looking up at the gentle giant who tilted his head. He was in his regular t-shirt, looking apprehensive about the weather.

"It's raining," he pointed out, as if saying that their morning run shouldn't go on. It wasn't going to be a pleasant run, anyone with common sense would point that out.

Hana shook her head. "It's a little rain. Come on, you used to spend Saturday mornings getting beat up. A little rain won't hurt either of us." She grabbed his windbreaker off of the couch and threw it to him.

"Let's go."

Hana immediately stepped outside, braving the cool air and wind. He watched her ponytail sway from side to side. Takashi was still trying to get his shoes on. She was a few metres ahead, jogging through the mud and keeping her head down to avoid the puddles. He quickly caught up to her.

Her pace shifted as soon as she realized his presence was beside him, almost challenging him to keep up with her. The ground seemed to slip beneath their soles with the mud, but that didn't stop her. Hana kept going uphill, sprinting at the fastest speed she could go. He matched her pace with ease. But that wasn't enough.

Hana continued running through the forest, jumping over embedded roots and rocks. She ignored the heavy rain, the cold, the wind. She was in her own world, escaping from reality as quickly as she could. Hana was deep in thought. And Takashi was quick on her trail, refusing to lose sight of her.

The higher they climbed, the faster she seemed to run. Either that, or Takashi's pace was slowing.

 _Where is she even going?_

Hana stopped abruptly, taking shelter through the long branches of a tree. She panted for a few minutes, wiping away the water from her face. She gasped for air, arm pushing against the tree. She felt dizzy. Light headed. She closed her eyes for a bit.

And then she opened to find him staring at her, his eyes filled with fear while his hands gripped her arms.

"Are you okay?" his deep voice resonated through the pelting rain. Hana could only nod feverishly, still trying to catch her breath.

"Y-yeah," she choked out. "I'm just – I need a break."

Hana reached into her bag to take out their water bottles. In an instant, half of the bottle was gulped down. Takashi watched as she returned to normal, he sighed in relief before taking a sip of his own water.

"You shouldn't do that," he scolded.  
"Do what?"  
"Push yourself."

She looked at him with those eyes that mesmerized him. She took a moment for his words to sink in. Her eyes flickered from fury to peace after thinking.

"But if I don't push myself, who will?"

 _That's… true._ Takashi took another gulp of his water.

"Were you scared?" She quietly asked, stepping closer to him. The action itself caused him to choke on his water, he didn't expect it. Hana wasn't even _that_ close. But it was enough for Mori to lose his cool for just a moment.

"Of what?" He finally answered.

Hana pointed towards the rain that had let up from the torrents earlier. "You didn't want to run." She didn't accuse him of anything. Her tone was neutral, pointing out facts. Hana let the sound of the rain peacefully accompany their comfortable silence.

"It's… not ideal," Mori explained.

The girl looked down to the ground, guiltily.

"Sorry, I was quite selfish to make you come out here. There's just – I don't know. I had this strong urge to dive into… a place outside my comfort zone."

"Why?" He asked. Of course they were both soaked from head to toe, whether it was their sweat or rain, they wouldn't ever know. Their bodies stuck to their clothing, the cold rain pelted against their bodies while they ran. The slippery conditions and the mud had gotten all over their shoes and legs. It was certainly _not ideal_. Why would _anyone_ want to do this to themselves?

Hana stood in silence, watching the rain drops fall one by one.

"I guess I just want to prove to myself that I can… take risks. I don't have to be scared." She turned to look at him. "Of course, I was cheating. I had you with me, just in case."

 _I had you with me. Just in case._ He found relief in that. That she depended on him in just a small way.

"I'm thinking of… doing something scary. I guess running through the rain without a second thought was... me trying to build up courage."  
"What is it?"

Hana leaned against the tree, and Takashi followed her in suit. Their water bottles scattered on the ground, their backpacks against the bark.

"I'm cutting away my safety net. I'm not renewing that modelling contract."  
"That's scary?"

The model smiled. "It means I have no source of income. I have no job and if that isn't terrifying… I don't know what is."  
"What will you do?"

She looked at him, with those large doe eyes he wanted to get lost in for hours and hours.

"That's the most terrifying part: I have no clue. I just want to be free." Hana let out a deep breath. She was finally at peace with the idea, under the branches of a homey tree, with the rain in the background almost telling her that the world will move on, regardless. Hana had no direction. She had a degree to finish, but after that, it was a blank slate. And she was beside good company. Someone who gave her peace, she didn't know why. But she accepted it. No more analyzing. Just peace, maybe even borderline happiness.

He watched as she waited for his response. She smiled, breathing in sync with the wind. The breeze no longer felt cold. The branches of the tree gave shelter to their small bubble. Just them.

Her words were comforting. He didn't know why.

The idea that she didn't have a clue of where her life was going. The fact that she was so oddly at peace with it was strange, but comforting. Takashi was sure that she anxious about her future. She wasn't the kind of person to ignore reality. But Hana was not afraid, not anymore.

He still was.

Takashi was afraid to be left behind. The way his friends progressed through life as he remained stagnant. He was afraid of the future. Afraid of stepping out of his comfort zone, afraid of going out there to look for whatever purpose in life. It journey of finding purpose seemed so lonely. Without distractions, without anyone else but himself.

 _What if there was no purpose in life?_

And in that moment, all he wanted to do was to come back to reality. He instinctively pulled her arm, her ice cold skin that was cooled by the rain under his touch. Takashi wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head beneath his chin.

He was reminded of warmth, even just for a second. He remembered that he wasn't alone.

And it was her that gave him hope.

That life wasn't so terrifying. That the future ahead wasn't a dark abyss. If she was willing to dive into life blind…

Then so was he.

* * *

 **A/N** : Trying to churn out these chapters on a somewhat regular basis. There are parallels in the story, and hopefully you've noticed some growth with Hana - from being afraid of life, to being willing to take on the future however blindly. I feel like that's the scariest part of young adulthood, knowing that you have no clue of what's ahead, but still having the courage to keep at it. Acknowledging that you are lost, but never stopping to continue to find your way. That's how I'm feeling right now, anyway. Your thoughts of course, are always much appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

She was startled at first. The way he so spontaneously pulled her against him, the fact that her heart rate soared through the sky was embarrassing enough.

It was the second time.

And he was sober.

Hana instinctively snaked her arms around him, keeping him close. He was like a warm furnace, shielding her away from the cold. If she had the choice, she would melt into his embrace – feeling content for the first time in a long time. She didn't want to think about why. Or how. Or what was running through his mind.

She just wanted to stay.

Hana hadn't realized how lonely she was, spending her days alone. No friends, no family, just herself in a little bubble. She was lucky that she was distracted by her work and university life – but otherwise, it was nothing. This embrace reminded her of what it could be.

If she had been surrounded by genuinely good people. With family, with friends, with an actual support system. But it wasn't like that, she was raised as a fighter. Hana buried her face into his chest, refusing to think of hypothetical scenarios. This was reality.

And the reality at the moment, was feeling like she was home. Life stopped for a moment, a time where she didn't have to live constantly on edge, her mind reeling through different possibilities in life, planning, worrying, feeling terrified of the future. Hana felt secure.

In the midst of living like she had nowhere to go, as though she dangled from a cliff with and no other path to walk upon, she felt at ease. The longer she lingered, an overwhelming sensation came over her. It reminded Hana that the world was waiting. Her legs were still dangling over the cliff, and it was almost taunting her to jump.

Into her studies, her responsibilities, her future was waiting ahead – below wherever the cliff led. It was no time to be dilly-dallying.

Hana took all her strength to gently pull away, looking up towards those dark eyes that stared right back at her.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice breathless. She could've sworn that she'd recovered from sprinting. It was a lie she was telling herself. She was breathless because of the run, and nothing else. No one else.

He nodded, reluctantly pulling his arms back. Takashi looked away, clearing his throat and reached for his water bottle. It seemed as though she wasn't about to pry. He wouldn't have the words to explain why he reached for her.

There was something very settling about the fact that she always seemed to accept him for the way he was. No explanation, no words, nothing. She had an incredible amount of patience for him, and Mori had no clue how to repay her for her patience. Hana shined, even on a dark gloomy day like this.

Hana was in no rush to understand him. She watched him take a sip of his water. She was reflective in her nature, but such thoughts came naturally with ease. Takashi was just one of those things where Hana felt comfortable with letting go and waiting for the rationale behind his thoughts to gradually form. But as of now, she was content with living in the moment.

She spent most of her free time wondering what was ahead, but little time capturing what was happening in the present. The raindrops fell from the trees, the pitter-pattering of the water in the background was soothing, and the skies refused to let up. But that didn't matter.

Rain or shine, they would push themselves farther. They grew up learning that adversity was a way of life, to face challenges and opponents head-on. A little rain was nothing.

Hana smiled at the gentle giant. She waited for him to pack up their belongings. This time, he would bear the weight of the knapsack. It was fair. Hana gently tugged on his arm, walking out of their small shelter.

"Let's go. We could both use a hot shower."

And then… Hana didn't wait for him. She sprinted.

And for that, he found her beautiful. In the strangest ways. How she no longer hesitated at the world, the relentless courage she seemed to exude, it was the smallest of things that made him feel like he was watching the most incredible thing in the world. She would run faster and faster, her ponytail swaying from side to side. Hana's legs gracefully pranced over the slippery mud and harsh terrain. She never lost her footing.

When the two finally reached the villa, they underestimated how tiresome the run would be. Soaked from head to toe, with mud up until their knees, the two were quick to go off to separate bathrooms in the home to clean up. Despite shivering in less than ideal conditions, the pair were still content. The exercise had released endorphins making them this way, they both thought, brushing off the idea that they were glad to be in each other's company first and foremost.

Mori walked downstairs to find Hana in a thin maroon cardigan, washing the strawberries in the kitchen sink. Her damp hair was let down to dry, an ashy brown colour that reached to the middle of her back. A plate of pancakes had been placed on the counter, along with warm coffee.

She turned around, startled by his presence. He made no noise as he sat down, and Hana nearly dropped the plate of strawberries. She put a hand on her chest, putting herself together.

"Sorry," Takashi mumbled as she put down the strawberries on the counter. The girl smiled and shook her head, brushing it off. It was her fault for getting scared, not him.

The two ate silently, sneaking glances at each other without noticing. It was at the opportune time when Takashi glanced up when she happened to be gazing at him with her wide eyes, a strawberry at the tip of her fork as she nibbled on it.

"What is it?" his deep voice brought her back from her daze. Hana cleared her throat and composed herself.

"Your hair… you got it cut," she did this half-smile thing, the way her lips moved to the right side of her face and it drove Mori mad. In the best way possible. Was it her being playful? Or just happy? "It suits you, very much," Hana added. Her hand subconsciously reached to her ashy brown hair, still in the process of drying.

Mori looked away at the compliment. The polite thing was to acknowledge the compliment. So he uttered a thanks and continued eating his meal. They sat in comfortable silence again, before Mori tried initiating another conversation with her.

"Your hair too." He wanted to tell her that her hair was just as nice, if not more beautiful than the scraggly mess on his head.

Hana shrugged. "It's fake."

Takashi looked up from his plate. The model shook her head thinking he'd thought that her actual hair had been fake. It was dyed lighter than it was naturally.

"My natural hair is a very dark brown," she explained. "I'd always wondered why I never had jet black hair but… well, you know." Her father wasn't her biological father after all these years. "Perhaps we all see what we _want_ to see, but not what is real."

Hana took another strawberry from her plate, then a bite. She rested her elbows on the counter, peering in closer to Takashi who only watched as she mindlessly poured her thoughts.

"Ignorance is such bliss, don't you think? But ignorance is terrifyingly dangerous. Would I have wanted to live in oblivion forever?"

Hana chewed on the strawberry quietly, pondering in her own thoughts as her eyes looked ahead into a daze.

"No," Takashi answered. He wouldn't. Something about living in oblivion just didn't sit right with him.

The girl looked up at him. The young man answered with such seriousness, and it felt like he knew her in ways that she didn't know herself. He was older and obviously wiser.

"What's it like?" Hana asked him. "You have such a level head. You seem to know what you're doing, all the time. You always exude this… aura of wisdom. I wish I was like that," the young woman smiled at him in admiration.

"It's fake," Mori quoted her. She laughed in disbelief.

"How?"

Takashi put his fork down and gave it some thought. "I never feel wise."

Hana smiled. "A wise man never thinks of himself as wise, Takashi." She winked and grabbed his empty plate to place into the sink, smoothly turning away from him. She came back and cupped the coffee into her cold hands. Takashi wondered why she thought of him so highly when he honestly was nothing in comparison to her.

Hana was a model. She was also a student in a prestigious university, staying in a competitive program, with so many prospects in the future. She was intelligent and seemed wiser than he would ever be. The young woman took a sip of the now lukewarm coffee. He did the same, mirroring her.

"I'm not…" Takashi wasn't good with words. His thoughts were different. But he just couldn't communicate. "What you think I am."

"And I'm not what you think _I_ am," Hana reflected. "People see me as a model first and foremost."

Mori was almost taken back at how accurate she was. His first thought was that she was a model and for that, he felt guilty for labelling her.

"It's alright," the young woman noted his expression. "It's not your fault."

He sipped on his coffee. He wanted to tell her that she was more than that. But he couldn't piece the words. He only had a feeling, a strong urge, a longing for her to know. But in the end, she was oblivious. She was living in oblivion and he was letting her be that way.

"So what are you, if you aren't what I think you are?"

He put his coffee down. "Just as ignorant as everyone else."

Hana looked him in the eye and shook her head. "I don't think so." Mori raised an eyebrow, as if to ask _why not?_ She understood him well enough. She was catching on.

"You lack confidence, Takashi."

 _Confidence_ , he repeated to himself.

"A wise man never thinks himself as wise but he certainly does not see himself as ignorant, don't you think?"

He let her words sink in. Hana took another sip of her coffee.

"We were never raised to be leaders. We were raised to obey and to follow," Hana pondered these thoughts. "We fought because we were told to and we rebelled because we knew better than to throw senseless punches at each other."

She did that half-smile to herself, like she caught herself before she had a silly grin on her face. Mori couldn't take his eyes off of her, even if he tried. She ran a hand through her hair, deeming it dry enough to be braided. Hana fiddled with the strands mindlessly.

"So it's time to rebel, Takashi. You know better. Do what you want to do. Push yourself. Make selfish decisions. It's your time. No one will hold you back. No amount of rain or mud will get in your way. Go out there and make yourself proud before anyone else."

Her words resonated deep within him. He was motivated to do something. _Anything._ He felt like he was ready to take on the world.

She laughed. "Well – at least that's what I've been telling myself."

* * *

It stopped raining. But the skies were still overcast. The two decided to head outdoors again, this time for a hike on new trails. It was always a risk to go off-trail, but they had the whole day to find their way home if they had to.

They walked wherever their legs took them. In the midst of the deep woods, where the birds began to chirp again and small critters began scurrying after the rain died down. Shielded by the forest, they were caught in their own bubble as they explored through the terrain.

 _No one will hold you back._

 _Do what you want to do._

 _Make selfish decisions._

His mind was running through these words like no tomorrow. She made perfect sense. But he wasn't sure how to act upon them. What made _him_ selfish? Selfish was just not a trait he learned to be. Takashi was stopped by his arm being tugged by Hana.

"Do you hear that?" she whispered.

The rustling of the leaves from the cool breeze. His heart beating rapidly through his chest as her firm grip caught his hand and led him closer to whatever sound she was hearing. She looked up to him, waiting for him to catch on.

Water. It sounded like a river. Takashi could only nod.

"Let's go find it."

She quickened her pace and let go of his hand, meandering her way through the depths of the forest. Mori could only follow, his heart raced at the adrenaline rush. Wherever she led him, it felt like an adventure. Her excitement was contagious. The fact that they had gone off-trail was a dangerous move but it was the last thing he wanted to think about. Takashi didn't want to lose sight of her.

Hana eventually stopped before the terrain dipped downward, stopping herself just in time by holding onto a branch so she didn't slip. Mori caught up to her as he listened for the water current. The sound gained momentum as he reached closer and closer.

It was probably a small waterfall when the skies were clear and if there had been no torrential rain. But today, it was magnificent. The way the water pounded down to the ravine, and the strong current that carried the power flowed endlessly down the terrain – it oddly reminded him of her. Hana only smiled at the sight.

"Look how stunning that is," she raised her voice so it could be heard over the thundering falls. Mori only nodded and looked at her. She pulled out her phone and took a picture. They stood for a while to admire the scene.

"I don't know if or when I'm coming back," the words just decided to roll off her tongue at that moment. Perhaps part of her wanted the waters to drown the news. Takashi turned his head away from the natural wonder and looked at her. Was she saying what he thought he heard?

"This might be the last time I see you," Hana kept her gaze at the water. Mori only stayed silent. He averted his eyes from her and pretended not to hear.

It was inevitable, after all. She was going to leave. He was going to stay. She wasn't someone to be kept grounded. Mori refused to acknowledge the ache in his chest after being reminded of her leaving again. It happened so often, he wondered why he wasn't used to her coming and going.

Hana always came back. But now it was certain that the chances of their orbits crossing would be slim to zero. Takashi's head faced the ground. He noticed a speck of red that caught the corner of his eye, pulling him out of his thoughts. His eyes followed the trail into a small puddle beneath Hana's right hand.

She must have cut her hand while grabbing onto the branch to gain back her balance. Mori was quick to grab her wrist to cut off any circulation so she didn't bleed any further. He silently led her away from the scene.

"Hey!" Hana didn't appreciate having her arm being grabbed while she admired the view. "I'm fine, Takashi." She tried wriggling out of his grasp, but it was of no use. The silent giant dragged her away from the waterfall and through the trees of the dense forest.

"It's nothing," she tried again, tugging her arm away. It was like playing a tug of war but Hana was losing badly as her legs moved forward with Mori to get back on trail. "A little bit of blood isn't a big deal."

She tried putting up a fight.

"We can still make it up to the peak. The blood will dry and I'll be good as new. We can get some moss from the ground and soak up the excess," Hana reasoned. Mori was having none of it. They were going back to the villa and he was going to tend to that wound.

"Are you angry?" Hana murmured. He hadn't looked back at her once during the time she tried reasoning with him. The girl wondered if she had offended him. He kept walking rigorously with his hand rightly wrapped around her wrist.

"I'm not," he answered coolly. And that was it. Nothing else was said.

They made it back to the villa after an hour in pure silence. Hana being dragged by Takashi who only looked forward. She stopped putting up a fight. He sat her down at the kitchen counter before getting the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet.

Gently, he cleaned the wound with antiseptic. Hana looked away, muffling a wince. Mori knew it hurt and despite that, she stayed silent. The amount of blood absorbed through the gauze was a little frightening. It was definitely a deeper cut than he imagined. At this rate, Hana would need stitches to sew up the laceration.

"Don't you _dare_ drive me to the hospital for stitches," Hana seethed. She looked at her hand and couldn't deny that the cut was deeper than imagined.

Mori raised an eyebrow at the girl. She bit her lip and relaxed. "I hate hospitals. Anywhere but there." Takashi looked back down to her delicate hand. The bleeding had thankfully stopped. He wrapped up the hand tightly in gauze and left her to it. Hana hopped off the ledge instantly.

"Thanks," she murmured. She was obviously irritated. A part of her kicked herself for being immature about it. Hana could have handled her injury on her own and deep down she knew she was thankful for his help. It was petty thing in the end, feeling weak. She'd been vulnerable too many times around him. It wasn't like her to do so. But in the end, if it had been anyone else to see her vulnerable – she'd rather it be him.

Hana began cleaning up the counter before Mori gently shoved her away.

"You'll reopen your wound." Takashi put back the first-aid kit. He left her to put the case back while she changed from her hiking gear into a more casual outfit. He too, changed into his usual outfit. Dark tank top with cargo shorts that went down to his knees. They bumped into each other when they walked out of their own respective rooms.

"Aren't you cold?" Hana was wearing her maroon cardigan again. The mountains were usually cooler than the city, even in the summer. The rain had brought cooler temperatures than usual. He shook his head. Hana shrugged and walked down the hall.

"Are you sure?" he called out to her. It struck him the wrong way when he watched her walk away from him, even though he knew Hana was just walking down the stairs. She turned around, confused by his sudden outburst.

"About what?" Hana casually leaned against the railing.  
"Not coming back," he clarified, his eyes moved upwards from the hardwood floor to meet with her own. Hana sighed and looked down to her bare feet. She shifted in her position, a little uncomfortable at having to answer his question. Not coming back was an understatement. She wanted to disappear without a trace.

"I don't belong," Hana knew it wasn't a very good excuse to leave her home behind. But it was the only one so far that made sense.  
"What about Sawada-san?" Hana wouldn't leave her grandfather, Mori thought. She lived and breathed for him.

She shook her head. "You know him. He'd kick me out even if I wanted to stay by his side. He wouldn't hold me back from doing what I want."  
"What do you want?"

Takashi was grilling her with questions she wish she knew the answers to. For god sake, she was barely nineteen. She didn't know what the hell she wanted. She wasn't sure where to go. But her instinct told her that staying in Japan wasn't going to help and at this point, that was the only direction she had.

"I'm going to find out," she decided that it was the only good answer she had for that question.

Takashi knew he was in no place to ask her to stay. Why did he want her to stay, anyway? What did it matter to him whether she left or not? It was an unsettling feeling in his chest that he couldn't quite pinpoint. No amount of philosophical theories could pinpoint these emotions running through his mind.

He was happy for her, watching her soar across the sky as she left to explore. But a part of him felt disappointment. In himself? Or in her? What was it?

"What about you, Takashi?" Hana turned the tables. "Why are you staying?" She was curious to know what went on in his mind. Her deductions could only take her so far. Something about him made her draw in closer. Emotionally, intellectually, physically – he was like a book that never seemed to end. She wanted to read him but he only offered so much.

That was also a good question, he thought.

What made _him_ stay?

"You could hop on a plane and leave whenever and to wherever you please. You have no obligations here, except Toudai and Honey," she pointed out. From what she could tell, Honey and Mori were no longer attached at the hip. Honey seemed to be living well while Mori was still wandering. Wandering with her, in the middle of forests when he could be off doing whatever he pleased.

She walked towards him, not afraid to look him in the eye this time. Hana got closer to him, standing right in front of him, almost daring him to back away. She had the fearless look in her eyes. The kind that took him off guard. The sort that brought him out of his own thoughts forcibly.

"Remember when you grabbed my hand?" Hana lifted her injured arm. "And you wouldn't take no for an answer?"

He nodded. His breath hitching as she pushed him against the railing to prove a point.

"You need to do that more often. Take control," she smiled. "You are capable. You are incredibly intelligent. You _are_ more than what you believe."

Her voice turned into a whisper. Where did all of this come from? Hana had no clue. But she meant it. She meant every word.

"What are you afraid of, Takashi?" She did not pry. She observed how cautious he was about everything. He was not a reckless person. He'd never be. It just wasn't in his character. But just once, Hana wanted to see him lose control. Make mistakes, unapologetically – because he was allowed to. Everyone was allowed to. Mori just never seemed to realize that fact.

He only shook his head. He didn't know. It was a sensation of fear, or anxiety. A feeling of inadequacy. Mori had no clue where it came from. He never properly analyzed emotions. Takashi analyzed theories, he analyzed schools of thought. His own thoughts weren't the same.

Hana sighed. His silence became the norm and she wondered if he was even listening to her rambles. It didn't matter either way.

"Maybe one day you'll share with me what goes on in that wonderful mind of yours. You'll tell me about your own thoughts on the world, or teach me about what you're studying – anything."

Takashi only wished he had wonderful thoughts to share. But instead, she was stuck with someone who could barely piece together a sentence around hwer. He would never be as eloquent as she was.

Hana held out her pinky. Takashi reluctantly mirrored the move. She was quick to latch her own finger onto his.

"I think we'll grow to be very different the next time we meet. I promise we'll cross paths again. Someday, somehow."

That was it.

Their last encounter.

* * *

A/N: Been a little MIA - apologies for that. Left it in such a way where it could've been an ending - but it certainly isn't the end, not yet. Though I did promise myself that I'd finish this story before school began. So... we'll see. Your thoughts are much appreciated, and as always, thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Networking events, conferences, mixers, any kind of social event – Hana was there as long as there were interesting guests to speak to.

She had a game plan this year. She didn't have a modelling career to balance with her school work. Now, networking was the only option. Networking, studying, and praying for a summer internship – preferably one that actually paid.

Landing a job became her goal and it was much easier said than done.

Her name was Marielle Sawada, and she was careful to not mention a word about what family she hailed from. She most certainly wasn't the youngest daughter of the Sawada Corporation in Japan. She was just a regular middle-class student who needed a decent job for experience.

Because modelling experience meant nothing when it came to handling hedge funds, or which stocks to invest in. Because her good looks could only intrigue others to beginning a conversation, but nothing concrete. It drove her mad, especially by the end of the first semester when she had absolutely no chance of working on Wall Street, or pretty much anywhere in the field of finance.

Her resume was practically empty.

Hana sat in her apartment, staring at her computer screen. It was her winter break, but Hana had decided to stay in New York. Going home was not an option anymore. Hana was not prepared to face the wrath of her mother. The former model had quietly ended her contract, without telling anyone but the agency.

The hope was that she could lay low until next summer, when her mother would realize that she had no projects lined up. By then, Hana would have a summer internship – some kind of excuse to prove that she wouldn't have to go back into modelling as an option.

She had a plan. But things weren't going her way. Job searching became a lot harder than she had expected. Networking felt like an endless stream of fake smiles and flattery that Hana couldn't handle another night of.

Hana's attention was caught by a Google Alert. Her name was trending in Japan.

 _What?_

She quickly did a search of her name.

 _Hiro Sawada, uprising EDM artist that goes by the mononym HIRO, dropped a mini-album of his earliest tracks featuring his own model sister, Hana Sawada._

Hana hit her head against her table. This was not part of the plan. This wasn't meant to happen.

 _The album is on sale with all profits going to charity – a birthday gift from the elder brother to his younger sister,_ she continued reading.

" _It's really not much. I mean, these are all old tracks. I was still trying to find my sound back then. My sister was a big part of the beginning of my career. She's wonderful. I love her," says Hiro when asked to comment on the album. "It's the most I could do for her."_

Hana groaned. Hiro meant well. But he was garnering a lot of fame as the years went by and as a result, the spotlight just so happened to land on her. Hana quickly dialled her brother on the phone. He never hesitated to pick up immediately.

"So you heard the news, eh?"

Hana made an affirming noise. "Yeah, um, thanks Hiro."

"You don't sound as excited as I thought you'd be," Hana could just see him pouting. She heard the door close. "I thought you'd appreciate the whole charity thing."  
"No, no, I do. I just… I was laying low from the media, you know?"  
"Hana, you've always laid low," Hiro pointed out.

The sister sighed. "I wasn't expecting this."  
"Well, now the whole world knows you can sing! Isn't that awesome? And you're doing something great by helping charities! That's your thing, yeah?"

The sister coughed uncomfortably. Donating to charity isn't the only solution to the issues at hand. Money was only a band aid to a deep cut. But Hiro wouldn't understand and Hana didn't have the time to explain the logistics of charities and how their finances broke down.

But instead, Hana did what a sister should have done.

"I'm glad you thought of me," she answered. "I appreciate the gesture. I really do. Listen, I won't be coming home this year."

"I'll come to you," Hiro offered. "I'm playing in New York in February."  
"We'll see what happens then. It's past midnight, Hiro. I'm going to sleep."  
"Alright, sis. Love you."

Hana ended the call. She couldn't utter out an _I love you_ back. She closed the lid of her laptop.

 _Fuck this,_ she thought. _My resume is shit._ She needed a new plan. But most of all, she needed sleep.

* * *

"I've applied to these positions, but no interviews. Just radio silence. I've called. I've emailed. It's driving me mad," Hana raged. She spoke with her grandfather every few weeks, usually in the early morning as she got ready for school.

"You know what your problem is?"

"What?" she snapped.

"Your goddamn pride. You think you're capable of a job like that? What are these investment things and big companies – to hell with that. You aren't ready."

The young woman huffed. "This is my fight. I have it under control."

"And yet, you're losing, real bad. You're on the ground, Hana. You're on your knees."

Hana didn't answer. It was true. It was nearing the end of the semester. Investment firms weren't looking for summer interns. It was much too late, unless you had connections. Hana knew exactly which strings to pull if she just dropped her name, her _Japanese_ name. But she didn't – she couldn't. _Sawada_ was not a name that was hers to keep.

"I'm not coming home." If Hana was sure on one thing, it was that.  
"I didn't ask for you to come home, you little brat," her grandfather spat.

"What if I take some summer courses?" She said to herself. Hana pulled up the portal to the courses at her university.  
"What if you get a goddamn job that you can actually do?"

Hana scoffed. "I'm not modelling."  
"Something more useful than looking pretty, kid."

She paused. "Like, working for a charity?" She'd always wanted to do something like that.

Her grandfather groaned. "Hana, would it kill you to something simple? Even Takashi shelves books for a job. Why can't you do something simple like him?"

Hana didn't think of that. Her head was up in the clouds, planning and thinking ahead when she hadn't even realized the Help Wanted sign at her local café. Perhaps she was being too ambitious after all. But _Takashi_. How was he? What was he up to? Why did feel like her heart skipped a beat at his name when they hadn't even seen each other in months?

"How uh, how is he?" Hana awkwardly asked.  
"He hasn't come around," Sawada-san casually answered. "Said he's busy with a class."  
"A class?"  
"He got hired for some teaching assistant position, he says. Some kind of Intro to Philosophy class for the summer."

Hana couldn't quite imagine Mori as a TA. For some odd reason, she pegged him to be less helpful given his quiet nature and lack of explanation on a variety of things.

"I thought he was shelving books?"  
"He's doing that too."  
"Oh," she said, feeling dumb. There was a moment of silence as Hana tried to think of things to say. The topic of Takashi always made her feel strange.

"Um. Tell him I say hi."  
"Tell him yourself, goddamn it. Am I some kind of messenger to you?"

* * *

Hana had to dial his number 3 times. And each time, she hung up before she heard the dialing tone. It was in the wee hours of May 5th. It was her third try this time, and it was her last chance. Hana wasn't going to hang up this time. She secretly hoped that it would go to his voicemail. She didn't know why she reacted this way, why was she so nervous? Why was it so awkward?

"Hello?"

 _He actually picked up. Holy shit, I thought it was going to go to voicemail. Why didn't I think of anything to say beforehand?_

"Hi," Hana finally spoke. "It's me."

"Hi," Takashi answered. He must have been wondered why she called him out of the blue. Hana really wished she tried to keep in contact with him more – but in the midst of the school year, she never really knew what to say to him and she didn't have the time to stress over such menial things.

"Sorry um," Hana stood from her desk and began circling around her small apartment. "I know it's out of the blue."

"That's fine." She heard traffic in the background, and it turned quiet. He must have been walking somewhere, perhaps to and from class. Maybe through the park. Maybe he was picking up groceries. She had no clue.

"I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday," she finished. _That's it, Hana. You can hang up now._ But she didn't want to say bye, not yet. She heard him answer with an affirmative noise.

"Thanks," he politely answered.

"You're over two decades old," Hana wasn't sure why she said that. He was 21. Big deal. "You could um, you could go out for a drink. Have some sake for me," she tried making small talk. But things just seemed weird. Both were hanging onto the line without much to say yet neither wanted to hang up.

"Maybe."

The clinking of the cups in her kitchen carried over the line. Hana was in the midst of making tea. Even though it was nearly 1 in the morning. Hana had an odd nocturnal schedule. Little sleep, long days. It became an unwarranted routine.

"Are you tired?" he asked.  
"Quite the opposite," she replied, muffling a yawn. "I can't sleep, even if I tried."  
"Why?"

Of course he'd ask why. He always asked why when she didn't want to ponder the reasons why. He forced her to reflect, to seek answers when she was too afraid to face the truth. But this time, she wasn't losing sleep over the truth. Hana was losing sleep because she was feeling lonely. It was a feeling that gnawed at the back of her mind as she worked during the day.

"Hey," Hana changed the topic. "Remember how I told you how afraid I was? Of the future, of my life ahead?"  
"Yeah." Those one-worded answers made her smile. They used to bother her a lot. Now she embraced them.  
"I don't remember when I stopped feeling scared. Or confused. Or lost."

He listened to her chuckle over the line. He heard the whistle of the kettle. Hana poured the water into her cup and waited for the tea to steep.

"I've been so distracted. Grasping how to be an adult, focusing on my studies and planning ahead that my fear turned into anxiety, and in turn it evolved into initiative. I was motivated by fear – how silly is that?"  
"Why is that silly?" Mori took a seat on a bench, beneath a cherry blossom tree that shielded him from the sun. The park was quiet today. It was perfect.  
"I should have been motivated by a goal. Or a dream. But the reality was, I was afraid of being a failure. But what is defined as a failure? Society places so much pressure on our generation. We had such unrealistic expectations. We were all just set up for disappointment and failure."

Hana took a sip of her tea.

The words resonated with Mori. It was true. He had felt that way for so long. Like a disappointment, lagging behind while his friends were off doing great things. Honey, pursing his engineering degree and internships. Tamaki and Kyouya were both off studying to take over their own respective companies. Haruhi aspired to go to law school and began studying in Boston. The Twins were across the world studying at a fashion institute. Expectations were so high and Mori consistently felt like was unable to meet them.

"Sorry, I'm rambling. I heard you were a TA from Ojii-san," she directed the conversation back to the young man. Mori was slightly disappointed. He wished that she continued rambling, but it was hardly a ramble. It was intriguing.

"Yes," he confirmed. Hana asked what his job was like. "It's interesting." Did he like it? "Yeah. Teaching is… fun."

He imagined her smiling. "More fun than our adventures in the wild?"  
"Less fun," he admitted. Takashi itched to go for another run in the woods, now that she reminded him of last summer.

It took a few minutes for them to ease back into their old conversations. Without the awkwardness and silence where neither of them could say a word but they weren't ready to say goodbye.

"How did you—" Mori coughed. He was still trying to put together a coherent sentence. "Figure out all of that?"  
"Out of what?"  
"About failure and society."

Hana eased her way to her sofa with her cup of tea in one hand and the phone in the other. She sprawled her legs over the length of the grey cushions, leaning back. She closed her eyes. Hana hadn't felt relaxed like this in a very long time.

"I was thinking about it. I no longer feel confused when I go to the bank. I'm not nervous to sign legal or important documents. I don't feel scared about being lost in the city. I've grown up, in small ways. I guess I was feeling happy about all the small victories and wondered how I became… less afraid. Don't you feel less afraid, nowadays?"

She had a point. Mori no longer felt like he was lost when he wasn't distracted by school. He had another job now, one that pushed him out of his comfort zone. He answered questions during tutorial sessions about philosophy, he guided younger students towards the teachings of what he'd learned only three years before. Takashi was forced to speak more than he had in his entire life, but there was something satisfying about seeing others reach their epiphany moment.

"I don't feel disappointed or angry about where I am anymore. I'm not working on Wall Street, but I have nothing to prove. I'm never going to be the heir to the company, but I mean… the world still goes around, and I'm still here. Am I a failure? I have nothing to show for the 19 years I have been alive. But who does? And if they do… who cares?"

Hana smiled to herself. It was nice to say that aloud to someone.

"Will you ever come back?" he softly asked. She had nothing to prove, after all. What was she doing out there? Takashi suddenly wished she was beside him. Talking to him on the bench. Staring into space, like she usually did so he could steal glances at her.  
"When I'm ready," Hana answered. "But for now, I'm still learning. Growing. Accepting. Figuring out my future."  
"Okay," Takashi understood. She sounded happy and for that, it put him at peace.

"What about you?" she mumbled. "What have you learned over the past 21 years of your life today?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"I'm still piecing it together, I think."

Silence. Did she fall asleep? He wondered.

"Hana?"  
"Mmm…" Hana sighed. She sounded sleepy. "Yes, Takashi?"  
"Good night," he smiled, not that she could see. But he didn't want her to see a stupid grin on his face anyway.  
"I'm sorry. I chose… a really bad time to call in the middle of the night."  
"Sleep."  
"I will. Take care. Happy Birthday, Takashi."

She didn't want to hang up. She waited. He waited. She let out a quiet laugh.

"Text me, okay?"  
"Yeah."

They both hung up, feeling ten times lighter than they were before. It was something about their voices, something in the air, even. But their day was made. Neither of the two made any effort to analyze their relationship. Emotions were complicated things. But the feelings they had with each other were simple.

They could laugh. They could smile. They were happy when they spoke to each other and that was all that mattered. What more needed to be analyzed?

Mori got up from the bench and walked over to Sawada-san's home. He was greeted by the dog at the door, who often sniffed him first. Takashi always brought treats and of course, he brought apples for the elder. His favourite fruit, Mori had learned over the years.

"Happy birthday, Sawada-san," he greeted the elder at the door.  
"You too, kid." The grandfather took the bag of apples off of the young man as he stepped into the home. He hadn't visited in a few weeks.

Mori spent some time with Yakkaina first, rubbing her belly and scratching her ears after he fed her. The dog too, had missed the young man's presence. As always, the furry friend cozied up towards Takashi when the elder came around with sliced apples and a bottle. Usually, they had tea but today was a special occasion.

"So the brat sent this over for my birthday," he held up the bottle of sake. "Said to share it with you," the elder grumbled.

"It's fine," Mori shook his head. It was the middle of the afternoon. He wasn't going to be day drinking.

"Do it for your elder," the grandfather snapped. "Just drink a shot. Or two. Maybe three. Just drink with me, alright?" He poured Takashi a shot of sake and gestured for the young man to take it.

Mori downed it in one go, masking the bitter taste in his mouth with a neutral expression. The elder did the same, except he ended off with a sound of satisfaction.

"Oh man, Hana sent over the good stuff, didn't she?" He poured Takashi another cup. The men downed the alcohol again.

"She called me today," Takashi blurted out. "Wished me a happy birthday."

The elder raised an eyebrow. "Alright then."

"We talked."  
"About?" Sawada-san stealthily poured another glass.  
"Being failures," Takashi mumbled.  
"For such youngsters, you two do seem very depressing…" the elder grumbled before drinking.

"You two aren't failures," the grandfather assured. "You two are well on your way. Your grandfather and I didn't raise two failures."

"Nah, you raised her…" Takashi downed his glass of sake. "Really well."  
"How well?" The older man smirked.

"Like, perfectly. She's perfect." The grandfather chuckled.  
"Well, for that, you deserve another shot."  
Mori nodded and smiled. The alcohol was really getting to him and the grandfather had no regrets watching the kid get a little buzzed.

It was fun. Maybe a little too fun.

"So why is she perfect, kid?"  
"Everything," he slurred. "Even her singing."  
"What? You've heard her sing?"

Mori nodded with a big grin on his face. "Hiro released songs… featuring Hana." He pulled up his phone and showed the elder all the songs.

"Had no clue she could sing," the grandfather was pleasantly surprised. "She's always been a surprise."

Takashi agreed and drank the last glass.

"I thought I was dreaming when I saw her calling... I miss her," he mumbled. Mori laid down beside the dog and petted her until he fell asleep in the middle of the day.

"That makes the two of us. But god damn, I really need to stop giving you Morinozukas alcohol… your grandfather passed out here last month."

* * *

Hana spent her summer working at a local café while taking summer courses. Extra credits allowed for her to take less classes during the school year and gave her a little more time for interviews and job-hunting if needed.

Mori spent his summer as a TA while shelving books. He kept up with his morning jog every day, working out was always part of his routine. The summer went by quicker than he thought and soon enough, Takashi was in his last year of his undergraduate studies.

Three years ago, he was feeling inadequate in just about everything. Takashi now considered graduate programs, continuing on with his studies in Philosophy. He also enjoyed teaching on the side, a result he hadn't ever expected. He took up the teaching position over the summer as a means to earn extra money, but it was much more rewarding than he imagined to be.

Hana began her third year of university hiding away from her mother. She didn't answer any of her calls. No text messages. Radio silence. She was like the poster-child of running away from her problems. Hana knew she was in a good place right now. She was determined to make this year count. More networking events, conferences, and mixers to attend. Not to mention, keeping up her GPA.

And so, Hana most certainly didn't require her mother telling her how to handle her career, or to get just get married. She was not in the mood to hear about prospective bachelors or why quitting her career as a model was the worst decision of her life. She was in no mood to think about where she belonged in her family. Hiro had wrapped up his global tour and his second full album was due in a few months time. Hana was envious of her brother, who never had to deal with the nagging of their mother. Their father was always out of the picture – Hana never had a clue where he was at.

It was the winter when she received a phone call from an unknown number. She'd recently done a few phone interviews for a few positions that she had applied to for the summer. Beginning early was a good idea. Hana had gotten farther than she did in the previous year, where she was offered no interviews at all. It was a small victory.

"This is Marielle Sawada," Hana answered, professionally.  
"Get home _now_."

Hana instantly regretted the decision to pick up the phone. This was not a Fortune 500 Company who was vying for candidates in their summer internship program. It was her mother masking her phone number. Hana gritted her teeth.

"I'm not coming home." Her peripheral vision caught a Google Alert of Hiro. _Probably just another tabloid,_ she thought.

"You dare not come home when your brother is in the hospital?" her mother shrieked.

Hana snapped out of it. She quickly clicked on the link that had popped up onto the screen.

 _Hiro Sawada, better known as HIRO, the internationally-acclaimed EDM artist, has been hospitalized from a traumatic car collision involving a drunk driver after his last show in Tokyo. Heir to the Sawada Corporation, the Sawada family is now in shambles as they—_

She stopped reading.

This was not part of her plan. She still had one last exam to finish before her winter break began. Hana couldn't go back until she completed the term.

"What's happening?" Hana stayed calm. This was not the time to panic.  
"He's in surgery. Hiro had a very serious head injury. We're in the Ootori Private Hospital—"  
"—I'll be home as soon as I can," Hana assured. She hung up.

 _[...] the Sawada family is now in shambles as they consider the future of the company without the original heir. Hana Sawada, a former model who ended her contract from her agency a year prior, is now studying at the Stern School of Business._

She paused. No one was supposed to know that. No one knew where she was studying, specifically. How was this leaked?

 _Now well into her third year of business school, Hana is now the next viable candidate as the heir to the Sawada Corporation._

She read the sentence again.

This wasn't real.

It couldn't have been real – it was impossible.

* * *

 **A/N** : Fanfiction was being awfully glitchy over the past few days, so this is up a little later than expected. If any of you are curious about the "mini-album" from Hiro that I envisioned, I have a playlist of it over on my tumblr with a couple YouTube links. Your thoughts are always appreciated. As usual, thanks for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Hana's arrival to Japan was heavily publicized. Hiro's incident had caused an uproar in tabloids, a juicy story with a musician-slash-heir hailing from a rich family. Rumours of inheritance claims, family feuds, and Hiro's personal life was now put into speculation for the public to see.

Hana never had to deal with a swarm of paparazzi in her entire life. The Sawada family ordered body guards to protect that youngest of the family, as she was escorted through the airport and into the vehicle.

The ex-model would've argued that the body guards attracted much more attention than intended, but after a 14 hour flight, Hana was in no mood to argue. She took the earliest flight home after her last exam, and landed in morning.

She pulled her luggage through the hospital, a backpack attached to the handle and her travel bag on her shoulder. Her hair was tied up in a half bun, sunglasses perched on top of her head after she avoided the paparazzi outside the hospital as well. Her trench coat reached down to her mid thigh, a dark colour that complimented the rest of her outfit. A pair of jeans and grey knee-high boots to combat the winter.

She immediately recognized the Host Club sitting outside of the room, sitting solemnly. They were always a rowdy bunch. But today was not the day. Tamaki was the first to recognize the sister who briskly walked through the halls, lugging all her baggage.

"Hana," he greeted. "It's so wonderful to see you." Tamaki pulled her into a hug. She greeted the rest of the Host Club, except Mori who stood far from the group in the corner. She acknowledged his presence by giving him a small nod.

"They aren't letting anyone into the room but family," Kyouya explained. He flew from Harvard to Japan over the break, mostly to take care of company matters but he was still a friend nonetheless. It was _his_ hospital that the Sawada family admitted to.

"He came out of surgery two days ago. He's still in a comatose state, and it seems like it may take some time before he wakes up," the Ootori explained. Hana nodded. She patted the Ootori's shoulder out of gratitude and thanked Hiro's friends for showing up.

Hana glanced over to the blocked doorway. Two burly men stood in front of the room, hands across their chest, and dressed in a pristine suit. Bodyguards were everywhere. Security was tight, especially with all the attention that the family now garnered. Regardless, she was family. Hana walked over to the hospital door and reached out for the handle only to be stopped.

"You cannot go in, miss."  
"I'm his sister," Hana explained.

The two guards looked at each other and shook their heads.

"We're under strict orders, miss. You cannot go in unless you are approved by Sawada-san."  
"He's my father," the woman stayed calm.  
"I'm afraid not. You are not on the list," the man referred to the list of _one_ name under Family. It was her mother's name.

Hana looked up at the two men, carefully observing them from head to toe.

"Are you armed, sir?"  
"Armed?"  
"With a taser, or a gun, perhaps?"

The men stayed silent, choosing not to answer such a question. Hana sighed and walked over to Mori who had been watching this interaction. She passed him her luggage and told him to look after it. Takashi had a slight suspicion of what she was about to do, but Hana wouldn't be so reckless, he thought.

But indeed, she was. Hana took one deep breath before punching one man in the nose and quickly diverting the attack of the second guard. She kicked him in the shin, and immediately elbowed the second man in the spine. Hana would apologize, but not today. She swiftly made it into the room where her parents sat in silence, next to the hospital bed.

"H-Hana," her mother stood from the hospital bed. Obviously startled by the scene in the doorway, she asked, "W-why didn't you call?"

Her father peered out the doorway to find the two men hunched over, one of them bleeding from his nose and the other on the ground.

"What the hell did you do?" he roared.

"They didn't let me in," Hana shrugged. She kept a neutral expression before turning to her brother lying on the hospital bed. "Because I wasn't family." The young woman shot a glare at the patriarch of the family before turning back to her brother.

He was wrapped in bandages, his head was wrapped especially. He looked like a mummy, with white sheets, and even a white cast over his left arm. He breathed through a ventilator, attached to machines that beeped rhythmically according to his heartbeat. Hana reached for her brother's hand, with an IV needle slit into his vein. He was hanging on to dear life and Hana could do nothing about it.

"What's the prognosis?" Hana asked.  
"His head injury of the frontal lobe is likely to cause his motor functions to… be paralyzed at worst," her mother's voice quivered. "We won't know until he wakes up."

Hana nodded in understanding. "He'll wake. He'll be good as new," she squeezed her brother's hand. "You'll be good as new, I promise."

"Don't kid yourself," the father raised his voice. "He's useless now. He won't be able to walk. He won't be able to move. He can't be an heir like that."

The young woman stood from the bedside and faced what used to be her father. "You don't know that. He hasn't woken up yet."

The father scoffed. "He wasn't suited to be the heir. Bringing scandals to the Sawada name, with tabloids of him kissing other men in his free time. Whatever silly career he had, it killed him. We should have never let him go off to pursue this silly thing. It's all your fault," he blamed Hana's mother.

Hana put the pieces together in her head. "You're the one who leaked that article of me studying at Stern." No one else knew. Whoever knew had no business in telling the press about where Hana was studying or what she was doing. The only benefit of doing so was for the company at a critical time like this. "You're going to throw away your first-born for the sake of another heir?"

"It's what you've always wanted," the father pointed out. He saw no issue with replacing the heir with his second-born, who was painted as a diligent student abroad. Hana was studying finance. It was the perfect candidate now, even if she wasn't his own blood. The press and the world didn't have to know about that one little detail.

"I don't want your empire," Hana spat. "I want my brother alive. You shunned me out for the first 20 years of my life, and you bring me back out of convenience?"

"Don't spring this back on the hand that feeds you," her father warned. "I _raised_ you."  
"You didn't raise me!" Hana shouted. "Ojii-san raised me. Don't you dare say anything about raising children when you have done nothing to be a part of our lives."

"Then who provided a roof over your heads? Who put you through school? You ungrateful little brat, sauntering into this room like you own the world now that you've been abroad. What have you learned, Hana? What have you seen with the privilege I've bestowed upon you? You _owe_ this family and I _own_ you."

She was ridden with guilt. Hana was born into a family of privilege, whether she liked it or not. She stemmed from privilege, she had opportunities _because_ of her privilege. Hana could not deny that she wouldn't be where she was without bring born into the upper class.

"I'm paying for Stern out of my own pocket," Hana calmly explained. "You haven't paid a single cent. You aren't putting me through school. So let me tell you what I've learned from my privilege: it's damn well useful to have, but never did I ask to be born into this family. Never have I asked for you to provide a roof over my head. Never have I asked for you to be a father – because you aren't. I'm not even on that fucking list you gave to those morons outside. So don't talk to me about being a parent, don't you lecture me on what I owe this family."

"Then why are you here? You weren't on that list for a reason, Hana. You haven't been back to this country in a year and a half – what made you think we expected you come?"

"Because I love my brother," Hana was exhausted. She had no other words to explain why she would come back. A blanket of silence came over the family. The father paced around the hospital room, while the mother wept beside her son. Hana stood beside her brother, watching the lines of the machine move.

"It does not matter," the father finally decided. "You are the heir, Hana. Or you marry so your husband is the heir. You have a choice here."

The patriarch left the room. Hana's mother followed her husband seconds later, leaving the siblings alone. Hana sighed, realizing that she forgot to close the door. The Host Club was still outside, and if they hadn't left by now – they must have heard the entire thing.

She stepped out of the hospital room, noting a look of fear in Twins' eyes after her little stunt in taking two fully grown men down to their knees.

"You should… all go home," Hana meekly said. There was no point in addressing the family feud that they had all overheard. "Get some rest. I'll let you all know if he wakes up." Hiro's friends all nodded and went their separate ways. Mori came out of the shadows to latch onto Honey's arm, and dropped off her luggage. They shared a glance at each other before silently going their separate ways.

* * *

"He's alive," Hana spoke on the phone with her grandfather. "Still in a comatose state, but… he's alive."  
"Hana, it's 6:45 AM. Did you spend the night at the hospital?"

The young woman looked over to her suitcase lying in the corner. She stayed for the entire day and night. In all honesty, Hana had nowhere to go and her jetlag prevented her from sleeping through the night anyway. Her laptop was open on her lap as she made herself comfortable on the couch meant for visitors.

The room was rather spacious, being a private hospital and all. With amenities like internet and exceptional cell service, Hana got some interviews done over the night via video calls or phone calls.

"Yeah, I spent the night," she answered.  
"You should go home," Sawada-san chided.  
"No," Hana's voice was firm. She'd rather sleep out in the cold than to go back to the mansion. But she also wanted to be by Hiro's side. They'd been apart for so long, and it was partly her own fault. Hana was selfish in pushing Hiro away over the past few years, but he always came back. Relentlessly showing his love for his own sister, reminding her that he was there if she needed it.

But now she couldn't even return the favour.

"At least come over to my place to sleep," her grandfather softened.  
"I can manage," Hana insisted. "Security is pretty tight here. I don't think you can visit."  
"That's fine," the elder sighed. "Hana, don't push yourself."

It was the granddaughter's turn to sigh. She was running on adrenaline for the past 48 hours. Hana wasn't sure when it was going to run out but she was hoping not any time soon.

"I'm fine," she assured. "I'll take a nap later."

Hana decided that her body needed to rest, and forced herself to sleep for at least a little bit. She was woken up by a knock on the door, which she found odd. The nurses came in without warning through the night as they always had access. The sun was now up, the light glaring through the windows and onto Hana's face. She tried brushing through her hair in an attempt to look the least bit put together before answering the door.

She opened the barrier, only to find Mori holding a bag. Hana gestured for Takashi to come in.

"He can't go in, miss," the guard put out his arm to block the entrance.  
"He can come in," Hana growled. "Unless you want a flashback to what happened yesterday."

The arm slowly lowered to allow Mori through. He closed the door behind him.

"Sawada-san told me to deliver you food," Takashi explained.  
"Thank you," she tried to smile but it quickly disappeared. "You don't have to stay if you're busy. Hiro was the same through the night."

Takashi did his usual shrug. He began unwrapping the cloth bag, opening up the side dishes for Hana to eat on the small coffee table in front of the couch.

"Takashi, you don't have to—"  
"—Eat," he ordered. Takashi placed the pair of chopsticks in her palms. He waited until she took her first bite before averting his gaze. Hana did as she was told and ate quietly. Mori looked over to the bed of Hiro who was wrapped in white. Bandages over his head from surgery, a cast on his arm, and the blankets that surrounded his body. He had earbuds in his ears, and an iPod carefully placed in his free hand.

"What is he listening to?" Mori curiously asked.  
"His favourite composer, Liszt," Hana answered. "A sprinkle of Debussy on the side, some Chopin songs mingled between. He really loves the Romantic Era."

Takashi nodded. Of course, Hana knew her brother best.

"I thought… maybe music would make him feel better," she explained.  
"I'm sure it will," he comforted.

Hana cleaned up the table, stacking up the tupperware containers and retied the cloth knot. The two sat across from each other in silence for a bit, letting the beeping of the EKG fill in the silence. Takashi watched as her long hair flowed down to her shoulders. She had it cut. It was no longer the usual light brown she had, but instead her natural dark brown colour. Her eyes were dull, but her expression stern. Hana wore the same thing as she did yesterday, except her coat was over the chair across the room. She had a thin grey sweater that was cut wide enough to show her collarbones.

She was thinking.

"Did you all hear… what happened yesterday?"

Mori wasn't the type to lie. "Yes."

Hana shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "I was pretty fucking stupid to not close the damn door."

"Don't worry." The Host Club were tight lipped about such things. Gossiping was never the chosen past time for any of the members, unless it was within the group itself and they were teasing. They were loyal people, through and through.

"They…" He tried to take her mind off of it. "Were pretty impressed by the whole… stunt."  
"I'm not particularly proud of physically assaulting my way through situations," Hana clarified. "But I'll admit, it felt good."

Takashi had to chuckle at that last statement. Hana would never lose that fighter inside of her, even if she tried. She shook her head at herself. She really shouldn't have punched, kicked, or elbowed anyone in retrospect. Calling her mother would have been the most civil thing to do.

"Hey," Mori tried to bring her back from her thoughts. "I enjoyed watching it."

She let out a small laugh. "Thanks. I think Ojii-san would've liked it too."

Hana stood from the couch to check on her brother. Her playlist had stopped playing. She pulled an earbud out of his ear and whispered, "Mori is here to see you, Hiro. Your friends are so kind. They all came yesterday, but they couldn't come in. We're all waiting for you to come back, to serenade us with your melodies and your laughter." Hana replayed the playlist that she made the night prior. She squeezed her brother's hand before turning to find Takashi waiting patiently behind.

Mori had gotten closer to the bed, standing a good distance behind the sister. He had his hands in his pockets, his gaze now averted towards Hiro who laid still.

"I didn't want to meet like this," she murmured.  
"It's alright," Takashi wasn't sure how else to comfort her.

She looked down to the ground. "I wish I was a better friend, Takashi. I wish I brought you food when you needed it. I wish I showed up in your life whenever you were lost or alone. But… you're always the one who's been there for me."

He pulled her close, enveloping her body into his. She buried her face into his chest. It was like he invited her to pour out all her emotions pent up in her body. She wanted to cry but now wasn't the time. She had too many things to deal with. Emotions were to be dealt with later.

But right now, she took a break. She let herself be held, and pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry," Hana mumbled into his chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm awful. I keep depending on you when I shouldn't."  
"I don't mind," his deep voice rumbled against her ear. Her hair was tucked right under his chin, her hair still smelled the same as he'd always remembered it. Takashi felt her grip tighten before letting go when she realized that it crossed a boundary.

But in all honesty, Takashi didn't mind. He could stay like this forever, as long as she wanted to. It pained him to see her this way and he had no other idea how to make it better. She slowly pulled away from him with a guilty expression over her face.

"I've missed you. I've been an awful friend. I don't text. I call… on your birthday. I have no excuse," Hana admitted.

Takashi shook his head. She didn't need an excuse. He understood her. And that was enough.

"No, stop that. You should be angry. You should… feel like it's been unfair. You shouldn't just brush things off like that," Hana vented. She held her hands up in the air. How was it possible that someone had so much patience for someone like her?

Mori gently pushed her arms back down and held her close. He felt her calm down, her shoulders loosening and her breathing slowed.

"You're here now," was all he could say. It didn't matter to him how they met, where they met, or what the circumstances. She orbited back and all he could see was her. It brought him a sense of peace, even in the midst of chaos. Even if they spoke, her words, their conversations, every single detail would replay at the back of his mind. All Takashi needed was a piece of her. Nothing more. He was not raised to be greedy.

"I want to stay," she confessed. "I want to stay here, in this moment." Her voice as soft as a mouse, almost afraid that even the walls would hear her.

"Stay," Takashi ran his hand through her hair. How he wanted to do that for so long, her hair was as soft as he imagined with all the individual strands that combed through the space between his fingers.

"I can't stay," Hana had a better grip of reality than he did. "Hiro needs to wake up. Then I have to go back to school. I need to deal with company matters. Then I… I don't know what's next."  
"Are you afraid?"

Hana shook her head. "The future used to terrify me. But it cannot be feared when you need to take control of it."  
"That's good," he softly said, admiring her courage. Takashi wondered if she knew how brave she was, despite all the circumstances. He didn't think he could do what she did. She pulled away, but not far enough for him to lose contact.

They were interrupted by a phone call. Mori's phone vibrated in his pocket and Hana smiled. It was a brief moment of peace, but now it was time to get back to reality. She let him answer the call while she grabbed her own phone to check for any messages.

"Honey is awake," Takashi explained. "Wants me to go have cake with him."

Hana nodded. "You should go. Say hello to him for me."

He turned to leave, only to be stopped by Hana's hand on his wrist. She was at a loss of words for a second, he could see it in her face. When she finally settled her thoughts, Hana nodded.

"Thank you, Takashi."

He acknowledged her gratitude before turning to leave.

* * *

Honey latched onto his cousin's hand as they walked into the bakery café. They hadn't gone out like this in a very long time. Honey called his cousin as often as he could, just to check in to see how he was doing. A heavy feeling often sat with the blonde, who felt as though his departure had caused Mori to fall into a rut. But as the years went by, his cousin slowly changed.

He no longer seemed to be unhappy, or lost. Mori no longer let Honey lead the way, but rather walked alongside. The small changes that Honey noticed in his own cousin grew into a deep sense of relief. They sat across from each other, while Honey ate his piece of cake as he told his cousin about his engineering studies. A moment of silence came between the cousins.

"Have you heard anything about Hiro?" Honey asked.  
Mori shook his head. "He's fine, though."

"Do you think Hana is okay?" The blonde had only seen her a handful of times. Each time they conversed, the more Honey came to like the girl. She was polite, and sweet. Hana was genuinely kind in every way he imagined, but he most certainly did not expect someone so docile like Hana to beat the pulp out of two grown men.

"She says hello," Mori shrugged. As if to say that she was fine.  
"You saw Hiro today?"

Takashi nodded in response.

"Hana spent the night then…" Honey realized. "It must be tough."  
His cousin agreed.

"Do you think she'll choose to be the heir?"

Mori shrugged. He didn't know. She was a smart young woman, he had faith that she was formulating a plan as they spoke.

"Hana-chan really doesn't have much of a choice, does she?"

Honey watched as Takashi tilted his head. _What do you mean?_

"Hana can choose to be the heir, or get married. But… the truth is that she'll have to marry, eventually. Whether she has control of the company is a different story, right Takashi?"

Mori nodded. _She'll have to marry, eventually._ That sentence hurt him in more ways than one. He felt his chest aching, his throat closing. Hana wouldn't choose marriage, Takashi knew that. She would rather be an heir than to be tied down.

But would she really? He didn't know. She was a wildcard. She was filled with surprises. And if Hana decided to marry within her class… it was likely that she would do it for the sake of the family and their reputation. If it wasn't going to happen now, it would happen in the future.

Her future was set in stone.

And the thought of that hurt him. The idea that she would have to cut him out of her life, regardless if it was a conscious choice or not. It would happen, because she was always going to be up in the sky, high above the clouds, always untouchable.

That was their reality.

She was in the sky as he stayed bounded to the ground.

* * *

Hana woke to her mother gently shaking her shoulder. The girl had her head laid on the side of the bed, next to her brother. The girl groggily rubbed her eyes awake to find a manila envelope placed in front of her.

"Your father transferred shares to you today," her mother explained. "It isn't much. Only 5% for now."

Hana stretched her neck. "What?" The young woman was still trying to process what her mother had said. What 5%?

"Shares of the company are under your name," the mother explained again. "This is happening, Hana. You'll be the heir."

"Hiro is the heir," she argued. "I'm not the heir."  
"Hana, please," Hana's mother pleaded for her daughter to just stay still for a moment. "Hiro could never be the heir at this rate, even if he recovers fully. He's off with his music and… we both know he isn't fit to take over a company."

"I never agreed to this," the young woman pointed out. "I never wanted to be an _heir_ , I wanted equality. To be treated like Hiro, but you two are misconstruing—"  
"—Hana, stop being _selfish_. All you want is _more_ , more attention, more of this _freedom_ or more _equality_ as you call it. When have you ever thought of the family?"

"When was I ever _part_ of the family?" Hana shot back. "You said it yourself. I'm not legitimate."  
"But _they_ don't know that."

The said-heiress crossed her arms, obviously frustrated with the whole ordeal. The public had no idea behind the mess of their family tree.

"Hana, listen to your mother. If you want your freedom, or to go off doing whatever silly degree you want, you can do so. But you'll need to marry someone suitable so we can secure the future of the company. You can do what you want, while your husband takes care of the corporation."

"You can sell the company, you know. Merge with another conglomerate. Why is that not an option?" the model wasn't silly. She was also considering the future of the company. But preferably not at the expense of selling her soul, and her entire life.

"Your father built this company. You think he'd want to see it swallowed up with another? Keeping it in the family is a _must_."  
"I'm not marrying someone," Hana was firm.  
"Then you'll take over the company," her mother gave the other option, leaving out the fact that Hana would have to marry regardless.

"I'll take over the company, and then what?"  
"You'll have full control."

 _I'll have full control._

It was enticing. But Hana knew that as soon as she had full control, she'd merge or sell the entire company. Perhaps to Kyouya, if he ever became the heir to his own family's business. But that wasn't smart, selling the company to the first person she knew. Hana did not have the conscience to betray the hand who fed her. The man who built the company from scratch wouldn't want to see it collapse into nothing.

All in all, Hana was well-aware that she was not a suitable heir.

"If you do not agree to either of these options, you know fully well how your father could sabotage any chance of you working in the industry," her mother warned.  
"You're _blackmailing_ your own daughter?" Hana fumed. That was a game-changer. Forget playing the role of being a filial daughter for show. Something inside of her snapped.  
"I want you to be the heir, Hana. I want the best for you," her mother insisted.  
"You're all fucking maniacs," the daughter threw her hands up in the air. "How fucking _dare_ you— fine. You know what? Fine. I'll be the heir. But you back off of my life until I finish my degree. I don't want any announcement of this being official until I come back from New York. I don't even want a word from you or father."

Her mother stood up from the seat. "Very well then. It's settled."

* * *

 **A/N:** If you can't tell by now, these frequent updates are me frantically trying to finish this story before I go back to school. I hope the writing hasn't decreased in quality as I've been writing non-stop for the past few days. Things are picking up after a bit of a writing slump I had earlier in the August. As always, your thoughts are much appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Hiro woke in the middle of the night to the sound of a keyboard clicking non-stop. Hiro couldn't turn his head to see where the source of light came from. All he could see was the white ceiling, lit up by a source of light to his right. He tried making noise, but the ventilator in his mouth prevented him from forming any coherent noise. Instead, he groaned.

And suddenly, his sister's face appeared before him.

"Hey," she breathlessly greeted. "Hey. Oh my gosh, hey." She was in disbelief. "You're awake."

Hana reached over his body to call the nurses over with a button. In a matter of a few minutes, two nurses showed up and a doctor on-call came through the doors.

"Should we contact Sawada-san?" one of the nurses asked.  
"I'll contact my parents in the morning. They're asleep now," Hana assured. It was 2:38 AM. She was jetlagged, or so she thought. Hana took naps during the day, and worked through the night. Responding to emails, sending out resumes, and reading through the news. Her sleep schedule was definitely not normal.

Hiro went through a series of diagnostic tests, being questioned and asked to move specific body parts. Her brother was slow at answering but still managed despite being groggy. The doctor pulled aside Hana into the hallway to let Hiro rest.

"Your brother is doing alright. He's cognisant of his surroundings. We won't tap into how much he remembers, but his basic motor functions seem normal. He may need a few months of physical rehab to get back his fine motor control, and just learning to function in general."

Hana thanked the doctor before returning into the room. Hana sat by Hiro's bedside, returning to her usual position. Her feet resting on the edge of the bed as her laptop laid on her thighs. She leaned back on the chair and went back to work.

"I'm still awake, Hana," Hiro spoke to the ceiling. He couldn't turn his head, but he could still hear the clicking of the keys in the middle of the night.

"You need to rest," the sister squeezed his hand.

"Haven't I been sleeping for days?"  
"Well, yes."  
"And you haven't?"  
"That's technically true."

"So… shouldn't you go to bed?" Hana had to admit that her brother was definitely well-aware. He wasn't groggy any longer. His mind was crystal clear.  
"I'm jetlagged," she explained. Hana put aside her laptop and scooted closer to the bed. Hiro could feel her presence getting closer, like an aura of warmth. He was still staring at the ceiling.

"What'd I miss?" Hiro jokingly asked.  
"Nothing much," Hana lied. "Except for the tabloids."  
"Oh? What are they saying about me now?" the brother wondered.  
"It isn't important," she brushed off. Tabloids were nothing but groundless rumours after all.

"I heard Liszt," the brother mentioned. "Chopin's Nocturnes were somewhere in the mix. Maybe Debussy too." Hana smiled. "Was I dreaming?"

The sister shook her head. "No, I made that playlist for you."  
"So everything I heard wasn't a dream?"  
"No."

Hiro stayed silent for a minute. Hana thought he had fallen back asleep.

"So… I'm not the heir anymore… and you aren't legitimate."

Hana froze. She'd heard stories of people in a comatose state being aware of their surroundings, even while being asleep. Hiro's memory was impeccable, even before his injury. Hana knew that as soon as Hiro recovered, he'd be able to remember everything and anything down to a tee.

"Y-yeah," she reluctantly confirmed.  
"Why didn't you tell me that first?"

She was at a loss of words. How much did he hear? How much did he remember?

"It's not something to bring up immediately after someone wakes up from a coma."  
"Fair enough," Hiro admitted that she had a good point there.

Hana wasn't sure if her brother would ever see her the same. He knew. Hiro now knew a lot more than she thought. But Hana couldn't lie to herself and say that he wouldn't find out at one point or another.

"But you love your big brother, hey?" Hiro couldn't see her. But he could feel her shaking, her hand gripped his with such strength. He felt it.

"I do. I really, really, really do, Hiro."  
"Love you too, Hana," he reciprocated. "Man, being in a coma sure is nice, eh? Missing out on all the family drama…"

Hana smiled. That was him. He was back, cracking jokes even if he couldn't properly move.

"I'm sorry," he softly said. "I know you don't want to be the heir. You wanted to be treated with the same respect as I did. But instead… you got stuck with some real shitty options."  
"But it wasn't like you wanted to be the heir either," Hana pointed out. "It's fine. I'll figure something out."  
"You know, I could just get married," Hiro offered.  
"Did you join a dating site called singlegayheirs-dot-com? Because I don't think there's really a market for that."  
"No, but there definitely is a market for gay sugar daddies," Hiro was quick to retort. "Sugar daddies with plenty of CEO experience who could run the company."

The two laughed. Their banter after all these years hadn't changed. Hiro missed his sister immensely.

"Mother still thinks I'm going through a phase," the brother confessed. "But she doesn't really… stop me, you know? I mean, I think she knows… that I'm not going to change. Hana, I know this is a really crazy thing to say, but our mom isn't so bad."

Hana sighed. "I'm not saying she's awful, but she's certainly no angel."  
"You haven't really been the most obedient daughter, either," Hiro added.  
"Hey," the sister called him out. "I've been pretty great, if you think about it. I stay in school and I bring no scandals to the family."  
"Two things that I obviously didn't do," Hiro chuckled. He didn't bother going off to pursue higher education. And he didn't want to count how many pictures of him are out there of him partying, perhaps getting a little too drunk to seem classy. Maybe a couple drunk kisses here and there, all caught on camera.

Hana sighed. She was at a dead end. Perhaps being the heir wasn't so bad. But the immense tides of guilt came rushing through her body. Each day working as the CEO of a company she fraudulently inherited did not sit well with her.

"Hey, Hana," her brother softly called out for her. "Is it so bad to get married? I mean, you're pretty hot. And that sounds weird coming from your brother, but I mean - I hear what people say about you. Marriage could easily be arranged and it'll happen eventually, whether you like it or not."

She was 20 today. Hana hadn't lived yet. She had spent her teenage years listening to her mother. She spent the past few years in school, trying to make it out in the world. But never was there a moment where she could say that she _lived_. Hana wanted to travel the world, hike up to the most scenic sights, she wanted to explore. She wanted to be that person with stories to tell. She needed money for that kind of lifestyle. Hana just wanted to be happy. It was selfish, and she knew it too.

"I can't get married," she shook her head. "My future husband will take care of the company while I sit in the dark? No."  
"Well, you could pursue other interests. Start your own company, maybe? Begin your own charity? You wouldn't have to deal with the family business. It's an easy way out, don't you think?"

Hiro had a point but it still didn't feel right. She couldn't get married. Not at this age. Not even in a few years. She wasn't prepared to be labelled as a housewife. Hana wanted a career, her _own_ career that she kick started by herself. Her mother was right. All she did was _want_. Hana wanted everything the world couldn't seem to offer.

"Do you have someone in mind?"  
"To marry? Oh god no," Hana was horrified by thinking about any typical rich kid and having to spend the rest of her life with them.

Hiro smiled. "No, silly. Who are you thinking about?"  
"What makes you think I'm thinking about someone?"  
"I just have a feeling," Hiro couldn't quite explain it. A gut feeling of some sort.

"No one," she denied. Hana had too many thoughts about the company to be thinking of someone. She was in a mess. An emotional wreck on the inside, and most definitely a physical wreck on the outside if someone were to walk in.

"Come on, Hana. Who do you think about when your mind wanders off to god knows where?"  
"My lovely brother, of course."  
"Ha," Hiro rolled his eyes. Not that anyone could see. "Liar."

The sister laughed. "No one, honestly. I'm selfish. I think about myself."  
"You don't," Hiro knew his sister better than that. "You think of yourself. But you also think of others. My little sister is filling in the shoes that her big brother couldn't."  
"It wasn't a choice, Hiro," she reminded.  
"Oh, but it was. Hana, you could have fought harder. You could have pushed me into the pit. But you took my place, setting me free to pursue music. You know I can't live without it. I didn't make high grades in Ouran, but I'm not as naïve as the world takes me to be. Hana, I'm not the only one who has grown over the past 4 years."

Hana let the words of her brother sink in. He comforted her, even when she felt like she was forever trapped with nowhere to go. Not even a single ray of light.

"It's kind of hard to believe you just woke up from a coma, you know."  
"I'll take that as a compliment," Hiro laughed.

"Your album is number one by the way." Hiro's second full album released the day prior, while the musician was till in a coma. Hana read an article early in the morning, before Hiro had woken up. It was a proud moment for the sister, seeing the success of her brother. He made it. He did it all by himself. From the little keyboard in his teenage years he played over and over again, to full blown-out concerts around the world. He was talented, and there was no doubt about that.

"Cool," the brother was glad to hear that. "Have you heard it?"  
"Yeah. My favourite track is the 5th."  
"Knew you'd dig that one." He would've fist pumped if his body was mobile. Instead, he jerked his arm a little. "That was fist pump," Hiro clarified.

Hana smiled. She informed him of what needed to be done. "You'll have to be in rehab for a bit, okay?"  
"Will I ever play music again?" That was the most important question. He lived and breathed for music.  
"If you stay through physical therapy and work at it, I'm sure you'll be good as new."  
"Okay."

"Hana," he called out for his sister for nth time of the night.  
"Hm?"  
"You can go. Run away. Never come back, you know that right?" It was always the option that she preferred. Hiro figured that if it made her happy, she should stick with it. He wanted to give her permission. It was only right. If she gave him his happiness, she deserved a shot at her own.  
"I've been running away this entire time," Hana was well aware of her habits. "But I have to come back eventually. I always thought I would figure it all out by then, by the time I would come back. But… life throws things at you that you don't expect."  
"You're allowed to go. I can't stop you from leaving this hospital, Hana. You need to go. Go home, go back to New York. Do what you have to do."

Hana took a deep breath and exhaled. She needed to do what she needed to do. She peered over her brother. Hiro finally had a clear view of her sister again. Her hair changed. She had bags under her eyes. Her lips were chapped. She was a mess. But it was still Hana. The sister kissed her brother on the cheek.

"I'm going back to New York. I'm going to figure this shit out, yeah?"  
"You bet."  
"Get better, okay?"  
"I will. I love you, alright?"  
"Love you, too."

* * *

Hana left the hospital for the first time in 3 days, dragging along her luggage. She had no plan. No direction. But her body was tired. Her brain was emotionally beat. And still, she was a fighter, first and foremost. She had things to accomplish.

Hana checked into a hotel for the night. It was nearly 4 in the morning. She took a nap before showering and making herself look presentable. The bags under her eyes needed to be concealed, her complexion was pale as snow. A little bit of blush, and then some bronzer did the trick in adding the façade of life back to her face. She drew the sharpest lines on her eyes, looking fiercer than she expected. She could just imagine Hiro telling her that her eyeliner could cut someone. Hana smiled at that. The former model finished off her look with a nude shade of lipstick.

Hana looked at herself in the mirror. It certainly wasn't a full face of makeup on photoshoots. But it was definitely enough to let her pretend that she had herself put together. Hana was reminded of her modelling years as she pretended for a living. She couldn't imagine what she would be like if she hadn't stopped.

She called her mother to let her know about Hiro's status. Hana then hailed a taxi to the middle of the financial district of the city. She was dropped off at the building of her family company. She briskly walked through the lobby, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. She swiftly passed through security by walking with a crowd of people and shoved herself into the elevator.

Up to the very top floor, Hana was the last person left in the lift. She checked her phone.

 _10:15 AM_.

There wouldn't be any excuse for her father to not be at work today. Hiro was of no use to him and it was unlikely that their father would visit the hospital, especially knowing that his son had woken up. Hana was quick to saunter into the office of her father, regardless of whether he had any meetings. He showed no respect for her, and neither would she.

"Excuse me, miss, you can't—"

Hana walked through the doors without a second thought. Her father was at his desk reading through documents. His eyes narrowed at the sight of his daughter standing stiffly with her arms crossed. He dismissed the secretary. When they had the room to themselves, Hana was the first to speak.

"You transferred over shares," the daughter pulled out the manila folder from her bag. "It's the same percentage as Hiro's. Why?" If he truly was set on making his daughter the sole heir, she would have gotten a greater share to solidify her presence in the company.

"You haven't earned them," her father simply said.

"Fine," Hana agreed. She had to work for the position and that was fair. "But we need to have some conditions."  
"Conditions? You think this is a negotiable position? You are either the heir or you are not," the father scoffed. He took off his reading glasses and put aside the documents on his desk.

"Nothing that will be of harm to your company, I assure you."

The man leaned back onto his chair, slightly intrigued by what his daughter had to say. She came in with full force. It would be a shame not to see what she was worth.

"I need freedom. I have a year and half left of my degree. I need to focus and as such, you and mother will leave me to it. My summers will be spent on my own accord."  
"And how will you spend your summer?"  
"Through internships."

The father rolled his eyes. "You can just work for the company. Perhaps you can actually earn your place this way."

"I want to work elsewhere," Hana firmly decided. "Stay out it. I don't want any future employers hiring me because of whatever connections I have. I'm doing this on my own, at my own ability."  
"Well Hana, if you insist on making your life harder – you're being ridiculous."  
"Let me be ridiculous then," she snapped. "Second, hold off on arranged marriages until I am in full control of the company."

The father found that point valid. It showed promise that his daughter wanted the company to stay in the family.

"Third, should I choose to pursue a Master's degree in Finance, these conditions will hold until I complete the degree." Hana was buying time, but she hoped that her father wouldn't see through it.

"You're wasting time," he announced. "Why would you pursue a second degree when it does nothing but add letters to the end of your name? A degree has no practical use until you begin applying what you have learned."  
"And I will apply what I've learned," Hana insisted. "One does not suddenly become the CEO at the age of 22 after receiving their Bachelor's. I need time."  
"You need time at the company, not abroad," the CEO argued back.  
"I will have plenty of time at the company," the daughter assured. "But I need these years to gain more experience. A well-rounded CEO is better than one with no experiences to show for."

The father took a good look at his daughter. She stood with a straight back, her eyes sharp and her brows furrowed. Hana was not backing down and he knew that look, it was the same look that his father gave him as a child. She truly was raised by her grandfather, the man realized.

"Fine," the CEO reluctantly said. "But these conditions will only hold if you are making good use of your time."  
"I assure you I will be," Hana turned to leave without looking back.

* * *

Sawada-san was in the midst of feeding Kaina her lunch before the dog ran away from its bowl. Like a sixth sense, the dog sat at the door, patiently waiting.

 _That's odd. I already walked her this morning._

The grandfather opened the door to find Hana waiting outside, in a daze a first before she snapped out of it. Yakkaina was the first to jump out of the door, obviously excited by the presence of Hana who she hadn't seen in a while.

"Ack, Kaina, you can't lick my face or all my makeup will smudge off," she laughed. Hana looked up to her grandfather who was confused by her sudden visit. "Ojii-san," she greeted respectfully. He invited her indoors. He wasn't expecting the child to visit.

"Hiro woke up last night," she explained. "I took care of a few things before coming here."

That would have explained why her granddaughter was all dolled up. She took off her trench coat, revealing a navy blue jumper, paired with a simple silver necklace. Her hair was curled slightly, just enough to seem well put together but still looked effortless. Hana sat and poured tea for her grandfather, like she always had.

"What happened, Hana?"  
"Didn't you hear the news?" her tone was sarcastic. "I'm now the heir. Or the favoured option, for now."

The grandfather sipped his tea. He was too old for all of the politics in the family. It was a shame to have his granddaughter pulled into this mess.

"What are you going to do then?"  
"I bought myself some time," she answered. "And I'll go from there."  
"Will you be alright, Hana?"

She shrugged. "Even if I'm not, I'll have to be." Hana quietly drank her tea, her eyes unwavering at her last phrase. She looked solemn, but not defeated. She was strategizing, and the grandfather sighed in relief knowing that he did well. He taught her how to do that.

The pair were interrupted by a knock at the door. The dog was quick to get on its feet, greeting the guest. Hana turned around to find Mori. A bag of apples and a bag of kibble for the dog. She didn't know he came by on a regular basis still.

"I asked Takashi to get Kaina's usual food because the store closest to our home ran out," Sawada-san explained. Her granddaughter nodded in understanding. She offered him tea. Mori politely shook his head.

"I'm going to visit Hiro," he explained. He received Hana's text early in the morning and wasn't expecting the sister to be at Sawada-san's place. Mori thought she would still be in the hospital. The grandfather looked to his granddaughter, as if hinting to her to walk him out. It was only polite, after all.

"I'll walk you out," Hana grabbed her coat and was quick to get onto her feet. The dog whimpered, obviously knowing that the guests were about to leave.

"Fucking shit, take the damn dog with you. Might as well walk it again for me," the grandfather grumbled. Mori grabbed the leash of the usual stand and threw it over to Hana. The granddaughter easily slipped the leash over the dog's neck. Sawada-san watched the two work in complete unison, without even a word. _Hm. Interesting,_ he thought.

Soon enough, the grandchildren were outdoors in the cold winter. Hana hadn't walked Kaina to know that the dog was capable of tugging with quite a bit of strength. She slipped forward, only to be caught by Takashi at the waist. The pavement was icy. It wouldn't be good to have her fall.

"Thanks," she whispered, leaning into his body. It was comfortable.  
"Mm," Mori answered, lingering. The two pulled apart when the dog pulled ahead.

The dog was well trained on its usual route, walking ahead of the two.

"You invested in a jacket," Hana noticed. She was reminded of the time that he showed up at their summer villa, dressed in a thin wind breaker and running shoes. He must've been freezing. Now, he was a little older. In his dark grey peacoat, and his hair wasn't long or mussed up as she first remembered it to be. His hair was now regularly cut, she assumed.

"Mm," he confirmed.  
"It looks good on you," she casually mentioned, smiling up at him. He could only nod. His throat closed. He couldn't speak when she smiled at him like that. It was flattering having a former model compliment him on his barely adept fashion sense.

"You… look good," he reciprocated. He inwardly kicked himself. He meant pretty. Or beautiful. Mostly, stunning. He couldn't decide. Takashi noticed her eyes first when she looked up at him. Lined precisely, and beautifully winged. She looked much different than what he remembered at the hospital a day ago.

"Thanks," she laughed. "I try."

They walked a little bit more in silence before Mori asked the question on his mind.

"Why aren't you at the hospital?"  
"Hiro woke up," Hana explained. "We spoke. He's very compos mentis, if you're wondering. I left because I had things to take care of."

Hana was speaking cryptically and Mori couldn't quite understand why. Nonetheless, Mori knew that it was not his place to pry. Hana lived a much more complex life than he did. It didn't feel right to intrude. But despite all that, Takashi wanted to be there.

"What are your plans after you graduate?" Hana made small talk with the gentle giant.  
"Grad school," he decided. It seemed right. And he could teach undergrad students on the side.  
"That's cool," he could hear her smile. Takashi dared not look, but his eyes wandered to find her nodding to herself. Her hair flowed in the wind, messing up the curls. Hana didn't seem to care.

"What about you?"  
"I'll be the heir, of course," Hana replied. She tried to sound excited. But who was she kidding? It was a job she didn't want to take on, no matter what the benefits were. Ethically speaking, it didn't sit well with her at all. She would be living a lie.

"Why not Hiro?" Mori asked.

The sister shook her head. "Hiro deserves happiness."  
"And you do not?"  
"I'll be happy seeing him happy," she softly comforted herself. It was the right decision to make. She couldn't let her family fall down to the ground. Even if they weren't really her family, they still took care of her. She was indebted. Forever.

"We all deserve a shot at happiness," Hana figured. "I had mine… running away, spending my life in New York. I was living a dream, thinking I could possibly escape the threshold of what my life was planned to be. Maybe the dream is happiness. The whole chase for it, the illusion… that intangible idea of a dream is happiness."

Takashi listened to her speak. He was captured by her thoughts. The older she grew, the more cynical she became. The reality began to sink in.

"I was naïve… as usual," she sighed. "Thinking there was a way out. Like a small fish exploring an aquarium tank, only to find that there was no exit. I'm trapped, Takashi. I had no choice to begin with."

Mori let her words sink. They kept walking, following Kaina along. The dog was more than happy to just be outdoors, being able to move freely. Hana reminded Mori of something he had learned years ago in his lectures.

"Do you know about the cave analogy?" Takashi asked.  
"No," her interest was piqued. "Tell me about it."

Mori explains it to Hana how he would to a first-year student.

"In a cave, men are chained to the walls their whole life. Behind the men is a fire, and another wall. The wall shields the prisoners from seeing free men who are puppeteers. The fire allows for the puppets' shadows to illuminate on the wall across from these prisoners. Soon, these men give names to these shadows, perceiving them to be reality."

The girl listened to him carefully, unsure of where the analogy was going.

"Are you telling me that I'm a prisoner, unable to see the true reality behind the puppets?"

Mori shrugs and continues. "Socrates proposed that if one of these men were dragged out of the cave to where the sun shined, the man would be blinded by the light. While in pain, he is told that the objects he saw in the sun were real, and the shadows he saw in the cave were not. Still blinded by the light, the man would not believe this fact. Instead, the man chooses to run back to the cave, away from the light and back to the shadows on the wall."

Hana stopped trying to analyze what Takashi said. She instead, listened. With an open mind, with her full attention. She refused to let her mind wander to how this whole philosophical discussion related to her.

"But why go back… to the lie?"

Takashi did not answer. That was for her to think about. "Say we took that same man, and forced him outside the cave. Again, he is blinded by the sun. The pain he experiences at first begins to fade. He begins to see the things he could not see before. He realizes the truth. The pain he experiences leads him to the revelation that the objects beneath the sun are in fact, real."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Of course," Mori smiled, knowing that she had no clue of the actual ending. "But that same man wants to free the other prisoners. He wants them to see the reality like he did in the bright, glistening sun. So he goes back into the dark cave, only now he cannot see. His eyes have adjusted. The prisoners, in turn, take him to be blind and refuse to go out of the cave. Anyone who tries to take them out of the cave, they kill, for fear that they too, would go blind."

Hana looked up to him, her eyes curious. "That's… a little more morbid than I expected."

Takashi shrugged. "Interesting, no?"  
"Yeah…" Hana softly said. She didn't have the time to analyze the story right then and now. She wanted to ask the question that had been on her mind the entire time he told her the story.

"Hey Takashi," she stopped in her tracks. Kaina too, stopped. But decided to wander around to wherever her leash allowed.  
"Hm?"  
"Why did you tell me that?"

The man smiled. "You told me that one day I'd tell you what went on in my mind, or that I'd teach you what I'm studying."

Hana tried to remember that moment. She couldn't quite pin point when that was. But the phrase sounded familiar.

"So, today's that day, huh?" she smiled. Hana wasn't complaining. She'd never heard him speak that much in all her years of knowing him. It was refreshing. And all she wanted… was more. Always more. She'd never get enough. It was very thoughtful of him to do what he did. A part of her felt incredibly privileged, especially knowing that speaking aloud was something he often never did. A private lesson from Takashi Morinozuka. What more could she ask for?

He nodded. "Happy birthday, Hana."

She looked down to the ground before shifting closer to him. "Thanks," she whispered into his ear, kissing him on the cheek.

* * *

 **A/N:** I actually had this chapter written for a few weeks. But as usual, school got in the way. I apologise for the much more infrequent updates to come in the next few months. I saw this coming when I began this story in June, and unfortunately I didn't reach my goal of finishing before my school year began (writer's block, coupled with some unforeseen circumstances are to blame). Nonetheless, I will continue to write - just less frequently and I'm deeply sorry for leaving you all hanging for months at a time. But your thoughts are always appreciated, your reviews consistently motivate me to keep writing. You've all been lovely over the course of the story.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Hiro stayed in bed while his friends crowded around him. Overjoyed by his presence, the Host Club reverted back to the way that Hiro had always remembered them. Tamaki and the Twins, arguing over something that Haruhi had said over text while she was in Boston, Kyouya reminding him of the ridiculous hospital bill that had to be paid, and of course, Honey peering over to ask if Hiro was well enough for the sweets he brought over.

It felt odd having to observe, and not being a part of the chaos. Hiro was never quite in this position before. Honey was the first to leave, citing that it was his afternoon nap time. The Twins bid their farewell to the musician because of a fashion runway they had to be a part of, dragging Tamaki along just for the fun of it. Which only left Kyouya and Mori, both of whom were the quietest of the bunch. The Ootori slipped away to patrol the hospital, and Mori was the only one.

"You didn't leave with Honey?" Hiro asked. In fact, Mori had been so quiet during the visit that Hiro hadn't even noticed him.

"He's fine," Mori explained, cutting off the last 3 words of the sentence. _He's fine on his own_ was what he meant. "I came late," the gentle giant added.

Hiro wondered how much he had missed. Since when were the cousins ever apart? What happened? Was there a riff of some sort that he hadn't known about? Hiro stopped to think for a bit and concluded that the cousins would never fight. It was impossible. Honey was the most forgiving person Hiro knew, despite being a monster when he was sleep deprived. Mori on the other hand, was incredibly patient. He was gentle. He always had that aura. Even if the two hosts were never quite that close.

"How are you?" Mori cleared his throat.  
"I've been better," Hiro smiled, trying to lighten the mood.  
The giant nodded in response. He was never quite the conversationalist.

"So… how've you been, Mori?"  
"Fine," he answered.

Hiro couldn't move his neck, so he averted his eyes towards Mori who stood quietly by the bedside. His eyebrows raised when he noticed Hiro looking at him – as if he was caught doing something wrong. The musician knew he wasn't the most intelligent person. He couldn't write an essay of the utmost quality nor could he remember what historical figure did what. Never was he ever book smart, but Hiro could've sworn that his intuition was always on point.

"What have you been up to lately?" Hiro casually asked, ignoring the look he had just seen on Mori's face.  
"Essays," Mori answered. "Graduate applications."  
"Oh." He wasn't sure what he was quite expecting.

The two let the silence sit for a while as Hiro watched Mori closely. The gentle giant had his mind elsewhere. The same kind of feeling he got when Hana was around. It was like déjà vu. And so, Hiro asked the same question he had asked his sister.

"Who are you thinking about?"

Mori raised an eyebrow. _What do you mean_? Hiro assumed that he was speaking his own silent language.

"You just seem… somewhere else. Who are you thinking about?"  
"No one," Mori lied.

Hiro found that interesting. "You know, Hana said the same thing when I asked her that. You two are awful liars."

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Mori froze in his place and wondered if Hiro knew. It wasn't even a big deal, right? A kiss on the cheek. It was quick and chaste, the most innocent kiss. A kind that showed gratitude, but nothing more. If only his heart could think of it as nothing more. His heartbeat still skipped when he thought of it. It must have been at least an hour ago by now. But the memory was still fresh.

The feeling of her lips grazing by his cheek, leaving a slight residue in the hue of pink. He almost didn't want to rub it off until she laughed and apologized for it. Her swift cold fingers were quick in wiping it away, telling him to go and visit Hiro. She wished him luck in his graduate studies. She whispered that she hoped their paths would cross again, somehow, someday, if ever.

"So who is it?" Hiro snapped Mori out of his thoughts.

The giant stayed silent.

"You're like Hana, you know? She's slyer about hiding things than you are, of course. But she thinks she can get away with it."

Mori relaxed for a bit. Perhaps Hiro didn't know about the kiss after all. Why was he even afraid of the brother? The giant tried brushing the feelings away.

"I worry about her," Hiro continued. "Hana takes on a lot of pressure and… it always feels like she never had the chance to be happy. It's my fault, really. I'll always be indebted to her."

Mori nodded, listening to the brother speak. Hiro could see why the club was friends with Mori. He may not contribute much, but his presence was always calming in contrast to the chaos. Mori and Kyouya balanced what shenanigans the rest were always up to. Mori was a valued member, lending an ear whenever needed. Without any judgement.

"Do you think she'll ever be happy? I mean, genuinely."

Mori could only shrug. He was no fortune teller. Nowhere near an omniscient figure.

"What about you, Mori? Are you happy?" Hiro tried to keep Mori in the conversation. It wasn't fair to be the only one speaking after all.

He didn't answer. Hiro couldn't force an answer out of Mori, anyway.

"Do you think happiness is worth chasing for?"

"Happiness is chasing for the dream," Mori loosely quoted Hana. He thought of her when posed with concept of happiness. He wondered why that was. It was so odd how his brain thought of her, first and foremost of all the things that he could have associated happiness to.

"That sounds like something Hana would say," Hiro chuckled. He was truly her brother. "She used to be so optimistic, you know? The past few years have really wore her down."  
"Or she grew up," Mori added.  
Hiro nodded. "You're right. My sister grew up, and I wasn't even there to see it. In a blink of an eye, she was suddenly shouldering all the burdens. What kind of dream do you think she has?"

Mori never quite thought about that. What kind of dream did she have?

"Explore the world, maybe," he guessed. Hana had always been a free spirit, wanting to explore, to go on adventures. She was fearless in that sense.

"Hm, I don't think so. I always thought her dream was to be purposeful, in some way or another. Like, doing charity or whatever, you know? I wonder where that part of her went… now she's always the person to tell others to chase their happiness, without thinking twice about even considering to take her own advice."

The gentle giant nodded in agreement. That was very much like her.

"So what about you? What would you chase for?"

Mori shrugged. He didn't know. He never thought about that.

"For me, it's music. The perfect harmonies, the way melodies intermingle but still stay independent. How everything works in the ultimate synergy. I love that. I love creating music, any kind. All kinds."

His friend nodded in understanding. He respected Hiro's love for music. It was what made him interesting, seeing him work at his own passion. Seeing others happy certainly made it easier, and Mori understood why Hana told him that seeing Hiro happy would make things alright.

Hiro watched Mori closely, letting his words sink into his mind, processing what had been said. He was such an interesting character, Hiro regretted not getting to know him more during their time in high school. Now it was years ago, and Hiro couldn't remember what Mori was like. Only that he had changed, and quite significantly so.

Of course, the man was still quiet as ever. He seemed to be lonesome. No, independent, Hiro corrected. Mori grew to be more independent. He seemed wiser. He still had an aura of mystery, waiting to be unlocked. Mori was someone you would confide in, no matter what – and with his loyalty, Hiro was sure that Mori would not let his friends, or anyone down.

"She stopped fighting," Mori interrupted Hiro's thoughts.  
"Hm?" Hiro was confused. The comment seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Hana stopped fighting," he clarified. "Against... life," Mori tried to be more specific. But he wasn't quite there yet. He was still trying to fully comprehend her, but it wasn't easy without her being with him. Like finding scraps of paper in the midst of putting together a book, Mori could only do so much with what he had.

"Huh?"

"She stopped chasing for her dreams," Mori tried to put it in the right context. "Because she has none." Hana had nothing to chase for in the first place. Under the false pretense structured by society, Hana set off on her own to find something to chase for. Only to find that there was nothing in particular to chase for in life. The chase was the freedom to choose, to grow and to learn at her own accord. The chase was her freewill of being independent. She was the happiest being free, with no bounds.

"I guess?" Hiro thought about it. He surely missed out on quite a bit of his sister's life. "That's a shame, isn't it? Not having a dream, I mean."

Mori shrugged. He had a feeling that Hana had come to that realization on her own. Dreams, aspirations, passions – they were overrated. Though of course, all of these were respectable to have. But it wasn't for everyone. Both Hana and Mori had lived long enough to realize the struggle to survive from day to day, the realistic notion of being able to even breathe from day to day was enough reason to fuel one's reason to live.

Dreams were for the privileged. The optimistic. The sheltered.

But dreams were also for the ones most curious, the most imaginative, the most creative. It was all a matter of perspective. Mori wondered where he fit in on that spectrum. He thought Hana would have been part of the spectrum for the sheltered, before she had gone off into the world on her own. Now, she was wiser and much more practical. She was mature. She didn't need dreams. Hana created her own opportunities. She took charge.

"She'll be fine," Mori assured.  
"Yeah," Hiro murmured. "I hope so."

* * *

"How are you?"  
"Fine, thanks. And yourself?"

She wasn't fine. Hana politely ordered her lunch and sat on her own indoors in the restaurant.

She was drowning in work that she had no idea how to do. Training sessions were of no particular help during her first few days at this internship. Hana began working at an investment firm – grabbing coffees for employees, running her way to make copies of documents, researching on companies, potential investments – the list never seemed to end.

But anything was better than being back in Japan. _Anything._

Her work became a good distraction to the unsettling thoughts at the back of her mind. It was a painful process just _finding_ a job in the first place. Hana was determined to make this experience count – but each day she came home to feeling more fatigued and unmotivated as time went on.

Hana began to become wary of the corporate 9-5 schedule, with bustling colleagues and an intense pace – she soon realized that it wasn't for her. It wasn't so much that she wasn't capable of handling the job – Hana was certainly sure that she could handle whatever was thrown her way; she'd been through enough over the past few years that nothing would faze her. But each day, it felt like something had slowly been chipping away inside of her as she came to work.

And soon, she was at a dead end.

 _Was this internship worth it?_ _Why did I think this was ever a good idea?_

She was stuck. She was lost. It was such a nostalgic feeling. Only this time, she wasn't scared. More irritated and frustrated at herself – because she was meant to have this figured out by now. Wasn't she? She was on her lunch break, contemplating these thoughts that ran through her mind every so often when she had a minute to calm down. The panini on her plate was getting cold but she had no appetite anyway.

Hana spent most of her days alone, sometimes with friends. But they were people of convenience – colleagues who had connections, classmates who worked for decent companies to gain intel, even professors who had taken a liking to Hana for her genuine efforts in class. All of these people were important in their own way – but none of which she would pour her thoughts to.

That was quite alright with her.

She wasn't depressed. It wasn't like she couldn't function physically. She was socially adept, and she was happy being on her own. Hana was the most comfortable on her own. It was a good place – but heavy thoughts always weighed on her chest every so often.

Her phone rang. Hana assumed that it was the firm calling – probably asking for a document or asking for her to end her lunch early for an impromptu meeting.

 _Hiro is calling._

The sister was surprised and didn't hesitate to pick up the phone.

"Hana! You're on your lunch break right?"

"Uh, yeah – it'll be over in half an hour though," she added. Hiro was well aware of her 9-5 schedule, mostly because it was the same nearly every day. The brother made an effort to call every other week, updating her on his physical therapy sessions and sending her samples of his new music. Hiro was still working on his dexterity, so playing real instruments became difficult. Instead, he began experimenting with new synths and sampled music.

"The Host Club are heading over to Boston in a few weeks to visit Haruhi, you should go down for a bit. Say hi or something."  
"You aren't going?"  
"I can't get away long enough without another therapy appointment," Hiro explained. "But I'm sure they'll be happy to see you."  
"That's nice," Hana thought about vacationing somewhere. But her internship ended at the end of summer and it was barely enough time to go anywhere far. Besides, she had to save money – not spend it. Working in finance and all, Hana became well adept at managing her own finances.

"Is Mori coming along too?"  
"Of course," Hiro shrugged. Then paused. "Wait, why?"

Hana thought for a moment. Why _did_ she ask that?

"Do you have like, a crush on him or something?" the big brother cooed. "Hey, he's attractive. Well I mean – the whole club is attractive, but I can see it. Like –"  
"—No," Hana grumbled. "I have to go."  
"Hey, no! You can't leave your temporarily disabled brother hanging on the phone!"

The sister rolled her eyes and sighed. "You're so dramatic."  
"So, Mori eh?" Hiro was grinning.  
"Nope, goodbye."  
"Look, I'm just saying… he's got the looks. He just… you know, doesn't talk."  
"He talks," Hana's mouth had a mind of its own. Why wasn't she filtering herself?

"Wait a minute—he… he talks to you?" Hiro was far from surprised, he was shocked. Since when did the silent type ever talk to his sister? And why wasn't he there for it? When did this ever happen? Hiro had so many questions to ask, he didn't even know where to start.

Hana shook her head. That was enough. She knew exactly the interrogation that was running through his mind. "I have another call on the line. I have to go." Hana hung up. She pushed the thoughts away from her mind and ate the rest of her lunch. Hana had heaps of work to do and no more time to waste.

* * *

Mori was due to begin his graduate studies in the autumn. Now that it was the end of summer, the Host Club was led by Tamaki to a trip to Boston. However, Mori had his own plans. He sent Honey off to the airport after the club had ended their time in Boston, and he took a train to upstate New York.

He wanted to go for a hike. A quick one, just for a day. Mori wanted a change of scenery. Nothing special. Quick enough to head back to JFK and then a flight back to Tokyo. A part of him wondered if he would run into her now, given the close proximity.

But the world was vast, and she had an internship in the large city. Mori didn't plan on visiting the city. He lived in Tokyo, after all. He had enough of the bustling city life as it was. His plan was to take the train, and then hike his way through a state park.

It was nearing the end of August. The sun glared in the sky, the searing heat was more than uncomfortable as his backpack weighed on his body. Luckily, Mori found the trail through the deep shade of the Appalachian forest. The birds sung, various insects buzzed by, and he felt at peace with nature. Mori took his sweet time walking through the terrain, listening for the waterfall that was his destination point.

He didn't know why. He was always reminded of her. In each step Mori took, he could easily imagine Hana walking right beside him. He could see her ponytail swaying from side to side, as she pointed out the wildflowers.

He could hear the way she'd take each breath. She'd smile at sights that she'd find gorgeous, like she wanted these moments to last forever. He wanted to hike with her. But of course, he couldn't. Hana was out of reach. She was busy. She had a life to live.

A life much different from his. A kind of path that wasn't meant to cross with his own, simple way of life. He wouldn't ever be up to the same par as she was. Mori knew that. For some reason, that fact weighed heavily on his shoulders. How could he ever compare to a soon-to-be Stern graduate? A woman who is likely working on Wall Street right as he was taking another step in the dirt? She had a great future.

His was nothing but a simple one. One that was just satisfactory to many. But it was enough for him. Mori was alright with it – he didn't live for anyone else but himself, after all.

Mori's peripheral vision caught onto another hiker. They were a few hundred metres ahead, and suddenly they had disappeared. The figure distracted him from his thoughts, and suddenly – they were gone.

Mori wondered if he had been imagining things. He took another sip of water to keep himself hydrated and pushed on.

* * *

Hana's internship ended by the end of August. She made a spontaneous decision during her few days of rest. But she had missed the quiet, peaceful nature outside of the crazy city. Hana took a train to Upstate New York for a quick getaway at a state park. She planned her route the night prior and by 6 AM, she was off to the wilderness.

It was fun – despite being alone. But Hana wasn't afraid of the wilderness. She had heavier things weighing on her mind, heavier things that were much scarier than the thought of getting lost in the dense forest.

But she needed a getaway. A quick one. In and out. Hana set her pace quickly, refusing to stop. Only to sip water, and on this hot day – it turned out that she was taking more breaks than usual. But nonetheless, she was determined to reach that waterfall.

There was something very exciting about hiking for Hana. The thought of knowing that there was a reward after a rough trail or the long hours was very satisfying. The journey was the best part, finding the small things in the forest, or on the trail that caught her eye. Things seemed simpler. Life seemed nicer. Everything fell into place when she escaped from reality, even just for a small period of time.

But a part of her longed to have her hiking partner back. So she could point out the butterflies that danced under the sun, or to share the love for finding that _one_ spot of a gorgeous view. Hana thought of Mori in the strangest of ways.

Afternoon coffee in a quaint café. Disorganized books that laid lazily on a shelf. The coziness of hot chocolate on a particularly windy day. Coming home to blankets and the quiet tapping of rain on the pane of her window. Her mind often wandered and suddenly, she was reminded of him in more ways than one.

Hana brushed these thoughts off most of the time. Smiling at the thought of him, but quickly reverting back to her original task. Did she long for his presence? At times. Except, Hana was well-aware of his life in Tokyo, as he would pursue his graduate studies this autumn. He had things to do. She had things to do, as well. They were leading different lives, like two paths slowly diverging.

Hana stopped at the trail that diverged into two pathways. One led to the waterfall, the other led towards a scenic view over a cliff.

She contemplated the idea of swaying from her original plan. Though her mind couldn't quite understand why a pang of sadness hit when she thought of her future diverging from Takashi's. It was an inevitable fact. It was to be accepted, regardless of what she wanted.

But what _did_ she want?

She had his friendship – occasionally, of course. Hana knew she had no right to call him her friend when she personally hadn't been the most committed to maintaining the relationship. Hana often chalked it up to being busy, which she often was – but it was an excuse.

It was an awkward thing. She wanted to talk to him – but she didn't know how. What was there to say? What common ground do they have? He wasn't the easiest to communicate with, either. Yet regardless, she was drawn to him. Continuously drawn to the tall giant who never failed to show at her lowest points in life. In all honesty, Hana was indebted to him with no way of knowing how to repay the favour.

She felt guilty. Hana knew she was in no position to rely on him. Besides, Takashi likely found her to be burdensome with all her issues that she carried with her, no matter where she went. At the end of the day, Hana was most comfortable by herself. Without burdening others, without needing to explain her thoughts to those who would not understand.

Hana continued on with the trail wondering how Takashi would have thought of her now. Had she changed? Was she any different? Had she grown? It was a period of self-reflection as she continued against the upward incline. Her calves began to ache, but Hana pushed on. Her mind was off somewhere else, refusing to think of the soreness of her muscles.

It was then that she realized she hadn't felt so _alive_ in months. The feeling of the slight breeze in her hair, the grazing of the wild bushes through her hand. It was nice to _feel_ something in this quaint environment. Even the feeling of her calves aching over the terrain, even the beads of sweat that rolled down the side of her face. Hana wiped it away and took another sip of water.

It felt like she was home. It felt like he was around. The silence reminded her of him, once again. Hana couldn't pinpoint why her mind always wandered to him, ending up at the same place. Over and over again, Hana couldn't even find these thoughts of him annoying. They were pleasant reminders of someone who was important in her life. A comforting feeling. A feeling that gave her a sense of peace in the midst of the thousand thoughts running through her mind.

* * *

He noticed a fork in the road. The path split to two options: waterfall, or cliff? Mori wondered if it would've been wise to stray from the path. He noticed the print of shoes in the dirt and wondered how far off he was from another hiker. He looked up at the sun.

It felt like she was there. Right at that moment, like she must have been close by. A gut feeling. As if fate had a part in bringing them together, no matter what. Mori shook his head. The heat had gotten him to become disillusioned. He was halfway across the world and his heart tugged at the back of his brain, reminding him of her in the smallest of ways.

Mori finally understood why Hiro had asked him who he was thinking of. It took him months to realize that his brain wandered to her on those off days when he wasn't busy teaching or writing. On those days where he would let his body rest from working out. He thought of her when he felt the sun on his skin, he thought of her when her song came up on his iPod as he ran. She seeped into his daily life, and he had gotten to the point where it was normal.

And he wouldn't have dared to want anything more from her than their occasional conversations, the rare occasions where their orbits aligned so he could see her. Takashi had her ingrained in his mind as someone untouchable, she was much too great for him to even dare disturb her. She was the sun. He was the sea.

Mori decided to push forward after he had hydrated himself.

* * *

 **A/N:** In before all my midterms begin. This is all I've got so far. Nothing else has been written. Not much has been planned. So this is it for quite some time (as I go down under with my labs, midterms, and finals). I know these two move at a glacial pace (romantically, and even to a platonic degree). This chapter was more geared towards chasing for one's dream vs fulfilling the society's pragmatic cookie-cutter standards. It's tough to write these two in a (somewhat) realistic sense. But my brain isn't focused on writing and I'm afraid I can't produce quality work until I can settle down again. Regardless, I'd love to hear your thoughts. They keep me motivated and I appreciate everyone who has kept up with this pairing. As always, thank you for reading and of course, waiting.

 **P.S.** Will these two meet in the next chapter? I'm curious to what you all think.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Hana sat at the edge of the cliff, sipping on her water as she ate the trail mix she had packed. It was such a beautiful view overlooking the vast forest. Hana felt more in control than she had ever been in the past few months. A feeling she had missed immensely. It was a strange thing, the longing for control.

On one hand, Hana had come to terms that she was unable to control each aspect of her life. She had learned to let go. She let go of the fear that constantly haunted her. She let go of the idea of finding a purpose in life. She had let go of shouldering the burdens of society and was no longer afraid to make choices for no one but herself.

But she was unable to escape from the depths of reality. She was trapped.

The thought did not sit well with her. It was always an endless cycle. The brief fleeting moment of freedom and independence, only to be pulled down to the depths of dreary hell where her life was nothing more than a pawn in the whole game of politics within the upper class. Keeping the wealth in the family, upholding standards that were to be expected of her, bloodlines and legitimacy, business and the family became priorities that she could not ignore.

It was a game. One that Hana still did not know how to play, nor could she find a way to win. She was well versed in the rules. Yet none of which could be used to her advantage.

All she had was time.

Time left to do what she wanted.

Time to listen to the birds chirp. Time to listen to the leaves rustle and the feeling of the slight wind in her hair. Time to let the sun shine on her face. Time for bliss. Whatever brief time she had left before she faced her ultimate destiny, Hana was unsure what to do with it.

On one hand, she could rebel. Go out, party, get wasted, have one-night stands, maybe even a fling. None of which seemed to be up her alley – it was Hiro's thing. Hana could travel, though that would cost money. Money was the limiting reagent as most of her expenses were going towards paying for her education, and perhaps another few years of watching her bank account deplete if she chose to pursue a Master's degree. Her summer internship paid next to nothing when she compared it to the tuition she had to pay.

She brushed the thoughts out of her mind. Things were bound to work out. They always worked out. Hana reminisced on those days where she felt lost with nowhere to go. Terrified of the idea of having no purpose. Horrified at the fact that she had no direction.

But here she was, sitting on the edge of the cliff with nowhere to go, and no direction still. Hana was at peace with the idea of purpose and life. She had other things to think about – such higher thoughts wasted time when her next priority was securing another job and keeping up her GPA. Reality was a distraction. Reality became her life.

She thought of him suddenly.

Would he appreciate her musings?

Maybe.

Would he appreciate this view?

The cliff that oversaw the forest. It was so peaceful. It would've been even prettier in the autumn, Hana thought. With all the leaves that seamlessly changed into an array of warm colours. Hana took her phone out of her bag and took a picture. It must have been a little past midnight by now in Tokyo.

She sent the photo anyway.

 _Wish you were here._

Hana packed up her bag and headed back to the bustling city. It was time to head back to her usual grind.

* * *

Mori reached Tokyo late at night. He turned on his phone for the first time in two weeks, now that he had signal as he reached his homeland. The very first message that popped up at the top of his screen aside from his graduate school emails was Hana's.

A photo overseeing a grand forest. A sea of green beneath the sunlight. It was stunning and strangely familiar.

 _Wish you were here,_ he read to himself. His eyes darting from end to end of the small glass screen. She wished that he were there with her. Why was that such an elating feeling? To be missed, to be wanted, to be longed for. It was unhealthy, he thought.

He hoped she was doing alright. Mori settled himself onto the metro and wished that he had taken photos during his trip. There was something very satisfying about being away in the woods, free of any communication from the world. He wondered if she had hiked in her spare time, if she had any. Mori wanted to be with her, almost. Right at that moment when she sent that picture. He wondered why it looked so familiar.

He longed to hear her voice. He wanted to know how she was. Tired? Busy? Overworked? All three to a degree, most likely. But for some odd reason, Mori wanted to hear about her day. Even the most mundane thing. What she ate for breakfast. Which streets she walked upon during her days of university. What the weather was like. When she woke up.

Small things. Anything to keep conversation flowing. Anything to somehow track her orbit as she travelled further and further.

And there he was, sitting on the train, wondering why he longed for her presence. He wasn't in love. He wasn't going to go there. Love was something else. Love was a connection. This was a strong interest. An insatiable curiosity. A thirst.

A feeling that was one-sided, Mori concluded as he got off the stop to finally head home.

* * *

Hana was due to graduate in the following Spring. Hiro sighed at the thought. He called his sister after all his months of physical rehab, after resting and studying music from a plethora of eras. After spending time away from the parties, the wildness, the flings, and the poor life decisions that often resulted in hangovers – Hiro had finally come to the decision to go back to school.

Hana was thrilled to hear that her older brother had applied to Juilliard for composition.

"That's amazing, Hiro," he could practically hear her smile through the phone. It was nearly 1 in the morning in New York. She was up late doing an assignment, as usual. She was always hardworking. Hiro aspired to be like that.

"Yeah, but… you know. I'm kinda… late," the brother sheepishly pointed out. Many of his friends had already graduated from their degrees, or were pursuing their careers. He was a late bloomer, as one would say. But in all honesty, Hiro felt inadequate.

"Nonsense," Hana scolded. "Who cares? Juilliard for composition sounds like something you'd do. Whether it had been 5 years ago or 10 years from now. Education knows no age."

Hiro nodded, taking in his sister's words in comfort.

"You know… you're younger than me – but you've always been the older sister."

Hana was silent for a moment, letting the words sink in. She had always been the more practical one. She had her life together much better than Hiro did. She skipped the phase of immaturity. The phase of poor decisions, most of which involved alcohol and drugs – but lots of fun. Hana was careful and practical. Hiro was reckless. Hana knew her bounds and looked towards the future. Hiro lived in the present. Hiro grew tired of the lifestyle after being forced to physically settle down for a few months. He did a lot of reflecting over the few months he'd been away from the industry.

"I'm your sister. That's it."  
"Yeah. But… you know. I'd be nothing without you, Hana."

She sighed. Hana never wanted her brother to feel guilty for her own decision.

"You'd still be a talented musician, topping EDM charts and touring the world," Hana assured.  
"You know what I mean," Hiro refused to accept his sister's evasion of the topic. "You gave up your dreams so I could have mine."

"I didn't and I still don't have a dream," Hana pointed out. "It was either me or you. It was me. I chose this path."

"Don't kid yourself," Hiro grumbled.

"I'm not. I don't kid." Her voice firm. "Listen, I have to go. I have an 8:30 class that I can't miss."  
"Yeah, of course. Love you," Hiro bid his sister goodbye and hung up.

Hiro's mother was passing by her son's room and caught the last bit of her son's conversation. She hesitantly knocked on the door of Hiro's room.

"Come in," she heard him call out. Hiro was sitting on his bed with his laptop and his headphones over his neck. He greeted his mother politely and kept his eyes focused on his phone.

"Was that… Hana?" the mother curiously asked.  
"Yeah," Hiro answered. "She's doing fine." He answered her question for her without having to hear what she had to say.

The mother nodded, unsure of where to take the conversation. It had been rather awkward since Hiro had left the hospital. Though things have been in an uncomfortable state since Hiro had gone off to pursue his music career over the past few years. She turned to exit the room before Hiro spoke again.

"She doesn't hate you. Hana doesn't know you were the one to transfer your shares so she could have a shot at being the heiress."

The woman's eyes sharpened. "You weren't supposed to know."

Hiro shrugged. "Like Father would want to dilute his own shares for an illegitimate daughter. Those shares had to be yours. You proposed the idea to father. He just took the bait without the expense of losing any part of his company."

His mother stared at her son. Hiro rolled his eyes and shook his head in disappointment. He was bedridden for months. Hiro came up with that theory during his first week of therapy as he stared at the white ceiling for countless hours. The past few months certainly gave him more than enough time to think things through. But mostly, it was him sifting through the rumour mill in his head. Gossip was always a fun past time, after all.

"You gave her no choice. You couldn't even have discussed this with me before making the call?"  
"I was trying to give her what she _wanted_."

"I never said that the sentiment wasn't there, Mother," Hiro explained. "But that wasn't what she wanted, that's for sure. She wanted respect. You gave her a burden to shoulder instead. She wanted freedom. You locked her in a cage. She needed happiness and you brought her misery."

"How could—how could you say that about your own mother?" Any parent would never want such things for their own child.

Hiro shrugged. "Hana hasn't been happy for a very long time. I don't know how you didn't see that."

"Hiro, you weren't the best choice to be the heir—"  
"—I wasn't arguing about being the heir or not. In fact, I was more than willing to marry for someone to take over the company when the time was right."  
"Yes, but—"  
"But gay marriages aren't really a thing, hey?" Hiro smirked, knowing exactly how to push his mother's buttons.

His mother huffed. "Hiro, we can't have that in the family."  
"Fine, fine," he waved his hand casually, flicking his wrist. "But it was a fool-proof plan and my beloved sister wouldn't be as miserable as she is now."

"As if you wouldn't have been miserable in an arranged marriage."  
Hiro shrugged. "Open relationships are a thing."  
"Hiro!" His mother scolded.  
"As if you have the right to chide me about open relationships when you had an affair that turned into a little too much," Hiro smirked. "Listen, I'm not judging, Mother. I'm just pointing out the facts."

His mother stood at the doorway in silence. Her face a mixture of irritation and guilt. Not a good look on anyone, Hiro decided.

"Hana doesn't hate you," the son repeated. "But she takes her time in forgiving people. Don't force her into forgiving you. Don't even mention marriage, much less forcing her into one for the sake of our family. Don't force her into anything. Hana is a force in itself. She doesn't need an empire. She creates empires."

"In what sense?" Hana had no experience in running a company. She was barely in her twenties. She had nothing but an abandoned career in modelling and nearly a petty degree from Stern. What possible force did Hiro see in her?

"How could you be so oblivious, mother?" Hiro rolled his eyes. "Every time she defies you, or Father – she gets her way. Every time she talks back with such venom – she is braver than I am. The more you resist, the harder she fights."

The woman shook her head. Every child these days went through a rebellious period. It was a phase. A rather long phase for Hana, she thought. But a phase, nonetheless. Something that Hana would grow out of. After all, Hana took the position of being the heiress of the company at her own accord. And Hiro had come around to go back to school after all these years.

Hiro shrugged. "Suit yourself, Mother. I know her best. And you know that."

* * *

Hana was sitting in her small apartment in New York as December rolled by. Her fingers typing away on cover letters and adjusting her resume. She'd been accepted to the graduate program at Stern, though she also applied to Stanford and various other schools. A part of her only did it to see if she would get in, though another part of her wondered if she could get away with moving even farther from Tokyo to avoid her responsibilities back home.

She wanted to travel. Though she couldn't justify a good reason to waste money for her own pleasure. Hana felt guilty unless she was doing something productive with her life.

It was early in the evening as she settled down on her couch with a cup of green tea after an afternoon of working. Her legs stretched over the cushions as she read a book – for pleasure this time, and not for the sake of passing a course. Snow fell outside her window while the sky had darkened hours ago.

He called her first.

Hana was surprised to see the name on the screen.

 _Takashi is calling_

Hana answered the phone without hesitance. There was a small moment of silence before she heard the other line clear their throat. Not even a hello. Just straight to the point.

"Happy birthday."

She smiled. His deep baritone voice, speaking her mother tongue that she hadn't heard in a year. It was comforting. It reminded her of home. The warmth of the idea of home. A fireplace, the simple homecooked Japanese meals, the dojo. She missed it.

"Thanks," she answered, allowing for the silence to sit between the two comfortably. "How are you?"

"Fine," Takashi replied. A typical response. She'd anticipated that.

"Grad school treating you well, I suppose."  
"I'm the head TA for a course," he updated her. Hana smiled at the thought of him teaching. She was curious as to what kind of teacher he was like. How would he run those seminars? Concisely and straightforwardly, Hana figured. They would definitely end before the allotted time of an hour, or perhaps go over time if he did his job well to lead the discussion with his students. Who knows.

"At this rate, you'll become a PhD candidate and Assistant Professor."  
"Mm," he affirmed.

Hana let that sink in for a second. "As in..."  
"It'd be nice," he confirmed.

"I'd love to hear you lecture one day, then," Hana imagined him at the front of a lecture hall, asking open ended questions while simplifying concepts to the most concise degree possible. Straightforward enough so he wouldn't have to speak for long. Simple enough for all students to grasp the content.

"What about you?" Takashi reciprocated the question.  
"Well, I got into grad school here," she shrugged. "Maybe I'll stay here for a few more years."  
"Hm," his voice dipped. Almost like he was disappointed. Perhaps she was just overthinking it. Hana continued.

"I'm still applying to jobs and waiting to hear back from a few positions. A startup tech company gave me an offer yesterday. It'd be interesting, I think – probably a good idea since father's company is all about software. I still want to wait it out though. Perhaps something else will come up."

She imagined him nodding.

"You seem to…" he paused. "Have it together." The young woman had job offers lined up for her, while he was grading papers for a living, paying next to nothing. His life was certainly less exciting than hers, but Mori wasn't going to complain. He was rather content with what seemed to be a mundane lifestyle.

Hana paused. She did seem to have her life together. _Seemed_ was the keyword.  
"It's good," he reminded, sensing her hesitance about the subject.  
"You seem to have your life lined up pretty well, huh?" Hana refocused the conversation towards him.  
Mori shrugged. Even though he realized that she couldn't see. Why was communication so difficult? Mori groaned inwardly. He tried to think of something to say. Hana beat him to it, naturally. She always made him feel comfortable like that.

"I mean, academia isn't an easy choice," Hana pointed out. "It's not easy to be a professor. That's quite ambitious."  
"I suppose." But for Mori, it seemed right. Learning kept him going. He enjoyed teaching. He enjoyed reading essays – however awful they might've been, there were always a few that stood out. He was perfectly content the way he was, in his own lifestyle. He still worked at the library. In fact, he'd been promoted to managing librarian. The head librarian had taken a liking to his efficiency, and also his quiet nature as he worked around the building.

"Look at us, being adults," she laughed. "This is so strange. I remember being so scared. I remember being a teenager like it was yesterday – being comforted by you. Now I'm 21. Over two decades old –though I feel much older than that."

And she had every right to be. Hana's life was a whirlwind. Mori's life in comparison felt like it was just a stagnant rock, slowly being pushed by exterior forces of the elements.

"I was terrified of having no direction. Scared I would become nothing. I felt like I had so much to prove."  
"And now?"  
"Like I'd grown out of it," Hana answered. "I had so much to prove to myself – and no one else." Hana was far from smart. She struggled with her courses, but she worked hard. She took initiative. She was fiercely resilient. Hana had grown to become capable of many things.

"I'm glad," Mori murmured. Her voice was solemn as she reflected over the few years. She had definitely grown into a young, accomplished woman who most definitely did not need anyone to tell her she was worth more than she thought. The insecure child he'd known her to be had blossomed with confidence.

Takashi wondered what sort of person she saw him to be after all these years. Stagnant? Unchanging? Boring, maybe.

"Hey," Hana caught his attention again. "We should do this more."  
"Hm?"  
"Call each other. I call Ojii-san every other week, but he always acts annoyed by it. So the calls are never more than a minute." Hana chuckled. "I always feel like we're…" She sighed. There wasn't a word that she could use to describe. Was it a feeling? A state of their relationship that she tried to describe? An odd in-between of friendship and acquaintances as they drifted over the few years. A connection she longed for but was unsure how to build.

"Drifting," Hana settled.

He let those words sink in. She never said the word apart. Drifting, aimlessly. Coming together, then growing apart, then coming around and picking up from where they had left off.

"I do, as well," he cleared his throat. Was that too much of a pause? Was it weird now?

They let the silence blanket over them.

"I – I miss Japan," Hana admitted. "I never quite felt… at home anywhere. Comfortable, maybe. But not… home. When your heart can take a break and your mind is at peace. Maybe it isn't Japan I miss," Hana mused. "Maybe… maybe it's you."

Mori cleared his throat. "I…"

Hana chuckled. "Sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel uncomfortable. I—um," it was her turn to be at a loss of words.

"I miss you," his gentle voice travelled through the phone, making her melt in her seat. There was something very comforting about his low baritone voice. It had a soothing lull. It was nice to hear that he felt the same. Assuming of course, that he wasn't just saying it to make her feel less awkward.

"Come home," he said. He didn't demand for it. It just rolled off his tongue. He wondered how she looked like now. Mori wanted to see her face. Watch her smile at the simplest things. Let her point out how the sunlight hit the leaves during the Spring. He just wanted her around. It was silly, he thought. No one should be this happy making up hypothetical situations like this, letting his imagination run off.

"I…" she sighed. Reality was a harsh reminder. "I can't." Hana tried to delay her responsibilities as an heiress for as long as possible. She avoided the familial duties like a coward.

"That's fine," Mori answered. He wasn't expecting her to come back… it was just wishful thinking, his brain without a filter.

"I'm sorry," Hana murmured. She felt like she had disappointed him too many times.  
"For what?"  
"I…" took a moment. "I always feel like I'm never there for you. But… you are."

He never thought of it like that. It wasn't like he _needed_ her. Likewise, she most certainly didn't need him, either. They were independent individuals who led completely different lives, their orbits wouldn't ever cross, he kept telling himself.

"I don't mind."

"Do you think I'm a coward?" she whispered. "I've been avoiding… the entire country for fear of being tied down to a duty for my family. It's… irresponsible and immature. I don't want to lose my freedom. I don't want to fit into the mold of what is expected of me. I… I just don't. I can't. I won't."

Hana fought so hard against a battle that she knew she was bound to lose. Was that naïve? Perhaps. But knowing Hana, she was likely still in the midst of finding an escape. A way out. She never went down without a fight. She was no coward.

"No," he answered truthfully. "You can come back when you are ready."  
"I don't think I'll ever be ready," Hana sighed.

Mori couldn't say much to that.

"You know where to find me," he settled. Whenever she came back. He'd be there, always.  
"I'll take you up on that offer, then," Hana promised.

* * *

He sent her a tin of tea. Shipped all the way from Japan, a little taste of home. He had her address from the time she sent him a birthday gift. Hana had just come home from work over the summer to find a box outside her apartment door.

It started with a birthday card and a photograph that she had taken during a hike. It was a small gift for his birthday, and a handwritten letter in Japanese. Her kanji had gotten a little rusty after so many years from her motherland. He sent a letter back. And she responded.

It was an odd arrangement. Sending letters, despite having each other's numbers at the top of their contact list. There was something very intimate about handwritten notes.

Immediately, Hana pulled out her stationary after settling down at her desk to write a thank-you note. Their letters were never long. Occasionally, he would send a handwritten quote.

 _Thinking: the talking of the soul with itself._ – Plato

 _Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope. –_ Aristotle

 _Courage is grace under pressure._ – Ernest Hemingway

And for each quote, she sent him a photograph. Sometimes of the city, other times of the sunset. The sea. Her cups of coffee. And soon after, she began taking photos of things that reminded her of him. The back was always the date of the photo.

Hiro began his studies in Julliard in the autumn, taking over Hana's apartment in New York as she moved over to London to pursue her Master's degree. Working for the startup gave Hana very little time to pack and Hiro decided to help his sister do the job.

He opened up a box tucked away in the corner of her desk. It was filled with handwritten letters. Quotes. An empty tin of tea. He opened up a note, signed by Mori in his neat handwriting. The brother quietly put away the box and continued on packing his sister's things, keeping the knowledge to himself.

Hana left quietly for London to pursue her Master's after her summer contract had ended. Hiro settled into the city, keeping a relatively low profile now that he focused on his education. The Sawada Siblings were reunited in Japan during the winter for a brief company event. The 25th Anniversary celebrating the triumphs and the successes over the quarter of a century.

Mori read the article featuring the Sawada siblings on a business magazine which focused on the future of the Sawada Group after 25 years. The older sibling was a musician, famous for topping music charts a few years ago before settling down to pursue his studies at the prestigious Julliard School of Music. Meanwhile, the younger sister was a former model turned heiress with a finance degree from one of the best business schools in the world, and was continuing her studies in London before working at the company. _What an extraordinary family,_ the article said.

 _Extraordinary indeed_ , Mori agreed. The head TA sat back in his office and stared at the photographs sent to him by Hana that were taped to the wall. She had an eye for aesthetically pleasing moments. Whether it was a book half-opened paired with a cup of half-finished coffee, or the colours of the trees with sunlight that shined through the leaves – she captured these moments and sent them in a small envelope every few weeks, even while she was in London.

Mori flipped the page to see the Ootori Group featured in the next article. It was no surprise to have the two families featured together.

There was a knock on his door. An unexpected guest. Mori had office hours before the winter break so that students could inquire about the assignment that was given for the winter holiday. But instead, a man with his hair styled with an undercut wore a grey t-shirt paired with a thick leather jacket and jeans. Headphones had always been his trademark, and it surely hadn't left him after all these years.

"Hiro," Mori greeted after taking a moment to recognize his friend. He wondered how he knew that he was still at Toudai, finishing up his graduate studies. Much less knowing that he had office hours right then and now.

"Hey Mori," Hiro shuffled into the small room. The giant sat in his seat with an eyebrow raised, waiting for Hiro to explain himself. The musician slowly took a seat across Mori's desk, noting the magazine article that was open.

"You read the article, yeah?"

Mori nodded. Of course he would. They were his friends, after all. He supported them quietly over the years. The Hitachiins took over their mother's work. Haruhi was still at Harvard. Tamaki and Kyouya were working at their own respective companies. Honey began working in the food industry applying his engineering degree by developing new sweets using new innovative techniques.

"Listen," Hiro sighed. "My sister is getting engaged. I'm worried. She wouldn't willingly come back to Japan for an event, she never bat an eye over the past 6 years at these things. Either she's out of options, or she has willingly accepted her fate. You and I both know that this isn't what she wants."

Takashi blinked. He wasn't sure how to feel. Hiro kept speaking, trying to gauge for some kind of reaction. Anything better than just a blink.

"She'll be getting engaged to Kyouya," Hiro tried again. "That's why the article was written with both our families. She doesn't know yet. That's why I'm here. I don't know what it is between you and Hana, but I know there's _something_. I don't know the whole story. I don't care. But I'm telling you that you have a shot."

"At what?" Mori pried. He would've been lying if he didn't feel the least bit upset at the news. But who was he kidding? Takashi wasn't anything like an Ootori. He wasn't worthy. Mori was just barely a graduate student. He had nearly two degrees to his name while Kyouya Ootori was the heir to the Ootori group.

Hiro shook his head. "A shot at something worthwhile with her. I know my sister. I have this gut feeling. She'd call me impulsive but Hana doesn't keep a box of handwritten letters and quotes from people."

"We barely know each other," Mori reasoned, wondering how Hiro found out about their mail exchange.

"Handwritten letters are pretty intimate, platonic or not," Hiro pointed out. "Look me in the eye and tell me you aren't at the least bit interested in my sister."

Mori kept his expression neutral.

"I just need her to realize that there is hope that she doesn't have to do this for me. For the family, or whatever her reasons are."

"Kyouya is a good man."  
"I never said he wasn't a good man," Hiro reasoned. "He's the one who told me where you'd be, after all."  
"It's her choice," Takashi spoke truthfully. He had no part in meddling.

Hiro shook his head in frustration.

"God damn it, Mori. I'm not asking you to marry her. Just talk to her. Remind her that she isn't at a dead end."  
"How?" Their paths were not meant to cross, he kept telling himself.

Hiro shoved a piece of paper over to his desk. It was an invitation. "Come to the event tomorrow night. She'll be there. Dress the part," Hiro reminded. The brother left promptly, giving no chance for Mori to refuse. He checked the time. He had tomorrow's lecture to prepare for, given that the professor had left for his holiday and gave Mori the job. He kept the invitation on his desk and packed his things to leave for the night.

* * *

Takashi found himself tossing and turning during the night. He couldn't sleep. He thought of her. He thought of the invitation sitting on his desk. It wasn't in his place to intrude on her life decisions. Takashi knew that.

Instead, he stayed up preparing for the lecture, practising beforehand and making sure the slides of his presentation were free of any error. Mori tried distracting himself. In the morning, Takashi stood at the front of the lecture hall, watching as students trickled in one by one. There was one minute before the lecture began before he caught one last student sneaking into the back of the classroom.

Her hair was dusted with white snowflakes, her body hunched over from the cold weather as she took a seat discreetly at the very back of the classroom. There was a glare in her glasses that was reflected to conceal her eyes. She had no backpack with her. Not even a laptop bag. The lights were darkened for the projector in the auditorium. There was something oddly familiar about her, but his view was obstructed by a student who sat in front of her and all he saw was a silhouette.

It had to be her.

But it was illogical. Hana wouldn't have known about his lectures. In fact, Mori could count the number of times he lectured in place of the real professor only a handful of times. What were the chances? He had been so preoccupied with Hana at the back of his mind that he began seeing things.

Takashi shoved his thoughts aside and began the lecture. In the five minutes before it ended, he noticed the same figure standing and quietly leaving. He tried to get a better glimpse, but the light of the projector had him struggling. Takashi needed sleep.

And he needed to see her in real life so that he would stop going insane.

Mori wrapped up the lecture and headed back to his office. Takashi would've sworn that he was going insane when he stepped on a note that slid through the bottom of his door.

 _Ojii-san said you would be here. I loved your lecture – it was very intriguing. A great change from the usual financial analytics lectures I've attended. Sorry I couldn't stay to talk. There are busy plans this evening, and I'm flying out tomorrow. Glad to see you were doing well. You're going to be an incredible professor one day. Good luck in your future endeavours, Takashi. – Hana_

But all he could hear was her voice narrating the words that she left behind, coupled with Hiro's conversation that haunted him through the night. It felt like a reminder that their orbits would not cross from now on. Her trajectory was far from his, she went into deep space. He was stuck in his comfortable zone, never leaving his regular orbit.

It felt like she was saying goodbye as she travelled deeper into space without looking back.

He couldn't have that.

* * *

 **A/N:** It's been a while. Apologies. Writing has been a difficult task over the past few weeks because lab reports and final exams are the only things I've _actually_ been writing. I'm trying to keep up the realism with Mori/Hana's careers before diving into the emotional aspect of their lives. Relationships (and careers!) are difficult to write realistically, especially at the age where I'm at. So many things to consider, so many options to navigate. I don't know - life is just... hard, haha.

Thank you for being patient with my updates, with this pairing, with the slow pace. There are reasons for this (over on my tumblr, if you're so inclined to read about it). I hope I'm not frustrating you all who were expecting more romance. (But you made it this far, and I'm incredibly grateful.)

I promise things will pick up in the next chapter. I'm trying my best to write as much as I can before my next term of uni begins.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Apologies. They caught me at an awful time as I was getting ready." Hana was straightforward as she fixed her hair across from the Ootori. She was wearing a black dress that hugged her figure, a laced pattern adorned her neckline and her nails were a deep wine red.

The two were left alone a few hours before the event while their parents mingled with one another, speaking about business. Hana had just finished her makeup and her hair needed to be pinned up. But instead, she was called down early and Hana was stuck with half-pinned up hair which, now that she looked at the reflection of her phone – didn't look half bad.

"I have no intention of marrying you," Hana said when she finished with her hair. The Ootori was certainly not amused.

"I expected more than a superficial—"  
"—Ootori-san, you likely took 30 minutes at a maximum to put yourself together." She was quick to cut off the Shadow King in his pristine suit and his hair styled the same way as she remembered it in Ouran. The Ootori must have had a routine down by now. "Give me a break as I'm asked to look presentable with my hair, makeup, nails, and dress to consider because of social norms," Hana calmly explained. "No disrespect," she added.

Kyouya stared at the former model who used to be so soft-spoken and polite. He had miscalculated. She was described as docile from his mother. A beautiful young lady, he quoted. Though never once did his mother mention Hana's professional accomplishments, landing an internship at an investment firm in her third year of university and graduating in the top 5% of her class. She wasn't meant to be underestimated, Kyouya realized.

"You and I have much in common. We are both to inherit our respective companies. You and your parents are not family, but rather strict business partners. And of course, you're here out of obligation and pure curiosity to see what I have to offer," Hana smiled. She toned down her voice, but kept her assertive tone. "And I'm here to see what _you_ have to offer me."

The Ootori raised an eyebrow.

"I get the company. We merge. I sit on the board of directors quietly. A done deal," Hana broke it down.

Kyouya narrowed his eyes. "It is hardly that simple."  
"Of course not. Marriage is somewhere in the mix, though I'd prefer we avoid that all together. We need a plan."  
"I never agreed to work with you, Sawada-san," the Ootori reminded.

The woman shrugged. "Would you agree that the world is a ruthless, cold-hearted place wherein everyone has to fend for themselves?"  
"I would agree," Kyouya nodded.  
"I'm fending for myself. You're fending for yourself. We have the same goals. _Work_ with me, Ootori-san."

The Ootori sat back. "What would be my goals, exactly?"  
"My company. Your parents' approval."  
"And yours?"  
"My freedom."  
"You would be betraying your family," Kyouya pointed out. While his family were nothing more to him than a convenient business arrangement, he had the Ootori name. One that he had grown up to take pride in, a legacy that he strived to maintain. His intentions to inherit the company were selfish, but they were the ones that were expected of him.

Hana, he thought, would have had the same intention. Inheriting the company because it was rightfully hers, and keeping the Sawada legacy alive. A merger would be the ultimate betrayal to her father who had worked from the bottom up to create this conglomerate. Something about that didn't line up with the woman's character. Kyouya knew Hana well enough from his days in Ouran that she would never do such a thing. There was something fishy about that. She would have been throwing all the work that her father had done, for something as silly as _freedom_.

The woman shrugged. "Say what you will, Ootori-san. Do you want my company, or not?"  
"I do," the Ootori admitted. "But why?" He needed to know. An offer like this is much too good to be true.

"Why I don't want to marry you, or why I'm offering up a 35 billion dollar company to you?"  
"The latter is preferred, though both would satisfy my curiosity, Sawada-san."

Hana smiled.

"Ootori-san, while your reputation is known to be calculative and cold, I believe you deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly. Even with that ego of yours," the young lady chuckled. "But that person isn't me. It won't be me, ever," Her voice turned soft. She was honest in her words. This was the Hana Kyouya had remembered from years ago, the kind young woman who gave him 10 different charities to sift through for corruption. The girl who patiently greeted his friends during the outings at their villa, despite the ruckus they caused.

"This company is not mine to keep. Call it betrayal, or whatever you'd like. I have no qualms and this weighs next to nothing on my conscience." Kyouya was surprised to hear that coming out of Hana's mouth. So much for being the kind-hearted girl he remembered her as. She'd grown to be as ruthless as he was over the years. The Ootori couldn't help but to respect that.

"And while I'm aware of your merciless business strategies – I trust you," she continued. "Call me naïve or what you will – but I didn't get a degree in finance for nothing, nor am I pursuing my Master's without any prior knowledge. You can manage the company well. You have the best intentions for the company. You are needed in this partnership. So _work_ with me."

Kyouya couldn't refuse. It would be ridiculous to refuse such an offer. He offered his hand, a trademark of any business agreement. The heiress smiled and shook his hand firmly.

"Let's begin."

* * *

Mori was lost. So, so, so, so lost. All he could see were crowds of people he didn't recognize. He was drowning in a sea of strangers. Champagne being served left and right, with hors d'oeuvres somewhere in between. He rushed to get to the venue after his last class and that already left him in quite the scramble. He was late, anyway. It was past 8 and the banquet was over. It was just mingling amongst the upper class, many of whom Mori couldn't recognize.

He couldn't even find Hiro amongst all of the madness, much less the only person he wanted to see. Mori lurked around in the shadows for an hour before giving up. It was such a silly thought, thinking that they could cross paths. He couldn't even spot Hiro.

Takashi sullenly walked out of the venue and out into the corridor towards the elevator. A cool breeze caught his attention. The entire place was comfortably heated and there certainly couldn't be a draft from the heating system. His legs took him to a glass door propped open by a pair of Dior heels, towards a balcony that overlooked the city.

"God damn it Hiro, I told you I'd be back in there in two minutes. I just needed to breathe." Her black dress blended into the dark night, with her pale skin that peaked through the lace down her back and her bare feet were a sure sign that it had to be her. It was freezing outdoors and here she was, her arms crossed while she leaned against the railing.

Hana turned around and widened her eyes in shock.

"This is jetlag getting to me, isn't it?" the young woman brought her fingers to her temple and closed her eyes. It couldn't have been Takashi standing at the doorway, staring at her while she tried to keep it together for the rest of the night. Him in his suit and skinny tie, the classic dark grey blazer that fitted his broad shoulders paired with black loafers with a jacket on his arm.

"You aren't real because I haven't slept in 32 hours. I'm crazy. You can't escape the insanity. I'm going to need more than two minutes to get my shit together."

Hana took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. Mori stood there with a small smile on his face. He'd never seen her like this before. Takashi had caught her at a bad time.

"Do hallucinations last this long?" she mumbled to herself. It wasn't like a hallucination could hear her, right?

Takashi walked from the doorway, making sure to keep her shoes as the doorstop before approaching her. Hana froze, still in complete shock and began regretting how little she had slept. The man gently placed his jacket over her shoulders and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm real," his deep baritone voice rumbled through his neck, with Hana's face buried into his shoulder. It took a minute before she relaxed in his grip, her arms snaking around his waist. It only felt natural.

"What are you doing here? Did you hear me talking to myself? Goodness, tonight is just all kinds of embarrassing," she grumbled, quiet enough so that only he could hear. He chuckled. Hana held him tighter out of instinct, it was such a comforting feeling.

"Hiro invited me."  
"Oh," Hana pulled away. "What?" She looked up at him, confused at how this ever came about.

Takashi was unsure how else to say it

"Don't… don't leave."  
"I… I don't know what you mean. I have to fly back to London to finish up my degree," Hana explained. She had obligations. It was a 10 month program, shorter than the usual 2-3 year Master's programs in the States and Japan.

"I mean," Takashi took a deep breath. "You… and Kyouya." He shook his head. "You can't. He's a good man but… your happiness is important."

Hana smiled. "Takashi, that's very sweet of you to look out for me." Hiro must've spilled the goddamn beans as usual.  
"No," he cut her off but he stumbled over what he wanted to say. He really should have been more prepared, if only he prepared for this as much as he did for the lecture earlier today.

"It's your choice." Takashi wanted her to know that he respected her decision. He wanted her to know that he was happy so long as she was happy. He wanted her to know that he cared for her… to an awfully large degree that he couldn't quite vocalize. He knew he wasn't _enough_ for her. That she was the sun and he was the sea. That she would be eons farther in space than he was, while he stayed in his little orbit.

"I just… I don't want you to leave. I don't want to say goodbye. I want you here. Right here. Forever. If I can. If I'm allowed to have you."

Hana blinked. He went from being coherent, to somewhat coherent to just downright confusing. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite… follow…"

"Can I kiss you?" he cut her off. Takashi couldn't convey his emotions otherwise.

Hana stared at him and blinked a few times. Did she hear right? It didn't matter because Hana already found herself halfway to closing the distance between them. He swooped down and met her soft lips that were caked in a deep plum colour. He was careful and afraid that he was overstepping his boundaries. He pulled back, leaving her breathless. She pecked him on his jaw before burying her face in his chest. Takashi welcomed her embrace and rested his chin on her head.

"You're too good for me," Hana shook her head.  
"You're too good for _me_ ," Takashi answered.

She pulled away. "No. You don't understand. I'm… I'm all over the place. I'm flying across the world all the time. I have school. I have work. I'm… I'm not right for you. I can't give you security. I can't even promise—"  
"—It's fine," he reassured.  
"No, Takashi. You deserve better than some girl who can only come around every once in a while. You deserve more than someone who can't always put you as a priority. You—"  
"You told me to take charge years ago," Takashi reminded her. "I'm doing that. I want this."  
"I don't want us to fall apart," Hana shook her head. "I want this to work. I don't want to just _try_ it out, I want this to succeed. I want us to stay together. I don't know what it'll take but I know it… it's hard. It's all or nothing."

She took a deep breath. "I just don't want to disappoint you."  
"I don't want to disappoint _you_."

Hana sniffed. "How could you ever disappoint me?"  
"I'm… nothing."  
"You're a graduate student. You're on your way to becoming a PhD candidate and I think you'll be a wonderful professor one day – that is far from nothing, Takashi."  
"You're… so much more."  
"I'm not much more," Hana shook her head. "I'm… just… a selfish person who would rather sell out a lifetime of someone's work for their own freedom."

It was Takashi's turn to be confused. He looked down at her, watching as she blinked away tears of guilt.

"I'm not marrying Kyouya," Hana assured him. "But I am selling out the company to him. A move that my father would never appreciate."  
"You don't owe him anything," he whispered, pulling loose strands of her hair out of her face. He cupped her face and spoke with his yearning eyes. _You're doing what you need to do._  
"I… I'm not sure about that," she shook her head. "I owe him an explanation, at least." Hana lied about having none of this weigh on her own conscience. It weighed heavily. So much so that she couldn't sleep at night.

He didn't know what to say. He never knew what to say. Takashi tucked her into his body, reminding her that everything would fall into place, like they did. Or at the very least, he hoped that it would. The warmth of his body enveloped her as she breathed in and out, calming down.

This was home. Where her mind was clear and her heart was at peace after so long.

"Why?" Hana murmured into his neck. "Why now? Why here?"

He didn't know what to say. The rush of fear that ran through his veins at the thought of her never coming back to him. In some way, somehow. He used to think he would be alright with that. The note he left her reminded him of the harsh reality, a goodbye that could have been forever. Before then, time felt eternal, that the last time would ever really be the _last_ time. The fact that she was an heiress and she was destined for someone much greater than a mere graduate student, making next to nothing and enjoying the lifestyle of mundane papers and books to be shelved. She was so much more. So much better. She was not meant for him.

But for some reason, Takashi couldn't help but to think of her. The way that his thoughts gravitated towards her, no matter what. The happiness he felt conversing with her, in all the ordinary things she could talk about. He was so drawn to her and he didn't even care to think of any reason _why_. He just accepted it. Accepted that she was an important part of his life, accepted that he couldn't escape from her, in complete bliss.

"I… I'm sorry. I took so long," she didn't mind that Takashi didn't answer her. She didn't have to know. All she could feel was his sincerity through his firm embrace, the way he brushed his lips on her forehead, how he kept his hands on her waist without ever thinking of letting go any time soon. But he would never tie her down. He would let her fly free and he would stay. His loyalty was definite. Takashi would never, ever, let her down.

"I always thought you… you didn't need someone with so much baggage. So much complexity," she pulled away from him and tried thinking straight. Reality was always waiting for her, it was always just a quick escape. A temporary high.

"I've always admired you. You were level-headed, wise, humble, strong, kind, and gentle," the woman smiled as he listened to her intently. "I'm sorry I took so long to realize how important you are to me. I'm sorry I'm not... good with relationships." Hana had nothing but pure honesty to offer. "I can barely keep it civil with my pretend family, besides Hiro. I can't… guarantee something stable, something _normal_ , something that—"  
"I know," Mori cut her off.  
"I'm not—"  
"—You're everything." It was like deja-vu. He said the same thing to her a few summers ago when she asked how much she was worth.

Hana shook her head. "You're… _too good_ ," she sighed in frustration. "I'm _not_ everything. I'm _not_ perfect."  
"Neither am I," Takashi pointed out.  
"Yes but," Hana huffed. "You… deserve better. You deserve happiness."  
"You make me happy," the man reasoned. "Would you rather me be with someone else?"

Her eyes softened as her body retracted at the thought of him with someone else. "If… if they're right for you, then of course."  
"You're right for me."

"How can you be so sure?" Hana whispered.

He didn't know how to explain. Takashi shifted closer to her, making sure he wasn't overstepping any boundaries. Making sure that she was comfortable. He inched closer to her, as if asking for her consent. Hana looked at him with tired doe eyes, trying to read his mind despite knowing fully well that it was impossible. He met her lips softly, pulling her closer for the nth time that night. Letting her melt into his embrace, slowly letting her take the lead. Hana chased after his lips as he pulled her back into his body, Hana couldn't have let go even if she wanted to.

And she certainly didn't.

He left her breathless for the second time of the night.

"I'm sure," Takashi murmured into her hair. "Trust me."

* * *

"When are you coming back?"

Hana sighed. She called him from the airport to say goodbye the next day. Granted, she was there a whole six hours early to avoid any confrontation with any of her family members. Hana had grown rather fond of the airport over the years, after spending so much time in them ever since she was a teenager. Hana had spent years watching family members say goodbye, children refusing to let go, lovers parting, and lone travellers like herself come and go.

"Five months, maybe." That was when her degree ended. But if she had any choice, Hana wanted to stay in Europe just a little longer to explore. Mori nodded to himself, not surprised by the ambiguity of her reply.

"Sorry," Hana sheepishly added, realizing that most people would've visited their significant other whenever they had the chance. They hadn't quite defined their relationship to begin with. They connected on a level that they had never experienced with anyone else.

"Don't be," Mori smiled to himself. All he knew was that she was coming back to him, someday. It must have been naïve for someone to place all their trust in someone, he figured. Any realist would have at least some kind of inkling of doubt, wondering if their partner would be faithful over distance and time.

They were both fumbling and wondering what to do next. Careers, marriage, kids, retirement – that seemed like the normal thing to do. But marriage was out of the question for either of them. They had hardly began their lives outside of school. Better yet for Mori, he was planning to _stay_ in academia.

"You should be working on your paper," she reminded.  
"I am," Mori assured. "So are you."  
"Right," she laughed. "I'll be working on it during the flight."  
"You should sleep."  
"I… haven't slept very well, lately," Hana admitted. "Between school and preparing to work for the company, there's a lot on my mind."

"Mm." He wasn't sure how to comfort her, or what to say. He wondered if she would ever find that to be annoying, if he wouldn't ever be enough. Hana however, liked that he never really pried into her thoughts. Hana was unsure where to begin with what went on in her mind anyway. It always felt like chaos, never a minute where her mind wasn't focused on the next task or planning for whatever needed to be done in a few months time. Hana knew that he was always listening. The way he picked up on the small things, usually without her even noticing.

In a few weeks, a package was left on her doorstep. It was the middle of winter and Hana had gotten home from a rather long commute from the library where she worked on her paper. Tired and already exhausted, she lifted the package and entered her small flat. Hana settled down by her kitchen counter and opened the cardboard box to find a tin of herbal tea, a book, and a note.

 _To help you sleep – Takashi_

It was past nine. Which meant it was sometime after six in the morning in Tokyo. He must have been awake, given that he was always an early riser. He picked up after the second ring.

"You're wonderful," she whispered. No hellos. None of that small talk. "You know that?"  
"Why?"  
"Sending me tea and a book to help me sleep – that was unnecessary but incredibly sweet of you, thank you," Hana explained. "Is there anything you'd like from London?"

Mori couldn't really think of anything. He just glad that the package made it across the world without getting lost. He didn't need much to begin with. He was a simple man, who needed very few things to sustain himself.

"Just you," he settled after a few seconds of thought. He heard her sweet laugh over the phone.  
"You're… impossible," she sighed. "Let me return the favour somehow."  
"Just take care of yourself."  
"You too, Takashi." She paused. "Are you lecturing today?"

"Mmhm," he replied. Mori was in the midst of packing his backpack with his notes and laptop. The professor was off at a conference and left him in charge of the lectures this week along with the seminars.

"Good luck," Hana smiled. "Not that you'll need it."  
"I do," Takashi replied. He wasn't a particularly big fan of public speaking. Though he was lucky that he was well versed in the subject, otherwise, he'd look like a complete fool stumbling over topics he wasn't familiar with.

"How's your paper coming along?"  
"Good," he answered. "About two thirds done. How about yours?"  
"Still gathering some research, about halfway done the paper," Hana sighed. "Just worked on it tonight in the library. Libraries remind me of you," she slipped out. It might have just been the coziness of the place, with hardwood floors and furniture. Light seeping through the stained glass windows. Books everywhere, a quiet setting. It was a calming environment.

"The sun," Mori locked his door and began his usual morning commute.  
"Hm?"  
"Reminds me of you," he clarified.

Hana let the kettle boil as she leaned against her kitchen counter. "How am I the sun?"

"You're bright."  
"You mean, blinding?" Hana corrected. The sun was more of an annoyance to her, with the exception of it rising and setting. _That_ was when she enjoyed the sun.  
"No," Mori disagreed. "You're… unattainable."  
"Unattainable?"  
"Far away. Up in the sky," he tried again. "Too good for me."

"Takashi," her voice softened. "I'm—"  
"Essential," he interrupted. That was a better analogy of the sun and what her existence meant to him. It sounded like ridiculous, now that he said it aloud. She must've thought of him as silly. No one says that kind of thing.

"You can't do this to me," Hana grumbled. "Don't… don't make me fall for you like this. Across the world and I can't do anything about it."  
"Sorry," he apologized, not knowing what else to say.  
"No," she groaned. "Don't apologize! Stop… stop making me feel... I'm not good at this. I'm not _good_ at whatever you're making me feel."  
"What do you feel?"

She hesitated. But then she decided that there wasn't a point in pretending. Honesty was all she could offer, after all.

"Something in my chest. Something heavy, like… it hurts to miss you this much. And here you are, being the incredibly sweet man you are, making me feel _so_ … special? Is that right? Is that the word?" Hana spoke her thoughts aloud to him. She felt comfortable with him, and only him. "Do you feel… the same? Or am I just weird? Probably just weird. Sorry."

She poured the boiling water over the tea leaves in her mug and hoped that she didn't scare him off on the other line.

"I'm… not good at this either," he offered in comfort.  
"Oh, but you are," Hana shook her head. "Perhaps this is why you were a host in Ouran."  
"I never spoke," Takashi pointed out. Honey did all the speaking. Besides, Takashi wasn't interested in mingling with the girls. He was there to take care of Honey, first and foremost. He walked down the street, muting the noises of traffic and focused solely on her voice. How he loved the way she sighed, the way she stuttered, or the slight hesitance in the way she tried piecing the right Japanese words together.

"When do your classes end?" the woman changed the topic, effortlessly. Mostly in an attempt to cover up her embarrassment, but it didn't seem like Takashi noticed.  
"End of March."  
"Have you applied for your doctorate?"  
"In December," Mori answered. He was lucky to have formed a good relationship with the head of the department from his job as TA and during his years of undergrad. There were very few people who took Philosophy as a major in the first place.

"Have you heard back?"  
"No." It was only January, after all. "I'm not worried."  
"Ah, I see."

Mori ended their call short when he entered the subway. As the weeks passed, it became more difficult to say goodbye during their occasional phone calls. The exhausted student came home to mail slipped underneath his door. It was a rather thick envelope.

In it was an air ticket to London, departing late at night on March 31st, the last day of classes. Attached was a note in her neat handwriting.

 _When I asked if you wanted anything from London and you said just me… I realized that I just want you. From Tokyo._

He called her immediately, without taking note of the time difference. She picked up after a few rings.

"You bought me an air ticket."

She laughed. "I did. Sorry, it's not first-class or anything. I'm… kind of on a budget." Hana hadn't taken a first-class flight since her modelling days. Over the years, Hana began investing her money in a small amount of stocks, applying her finance degree to some extent. She also owned a tiny share of equity in her previous job in a start-up . It was a means of payment for her time. She was making money, though nothing like the real investment bankers or hedge fund managers.

"It's…"  
"Hopefully not too big of a surprise? I know you said you ended class at the end of March. But don't feel like you have to come visit. I'm sure you can cancel or rebook the flight if you do it now," she rambled. Hana stood outside of a seminar room, noting the fact that she had only a few minutes before she had to give a presentation.

"Thank you," was all he could manage. "I'd love to come."  
"I'll be waiting," she smiled. "Listen, I have to go. I have a presentation to give. But um, I'll call you."

He said his goodbye but felt relieved knowing that it wouldn't be their last.

* * *

The old man grumbled at the sight of the young man at his doorstep. Kaina of course, was thrilled to see the familiar guest and nuzzled her neck against the leg of the man.

"Did she put you up to this?" The grandfather had been coming down with a cold lately, and with Hana calling him every Saturday night like clockwork, she became concerned when he had a coughing fit. Mori held up a bag of oranges and apples, along with some cough drops.

Mori hadn't been around for quite some time. Their regular Saturday training sessions had stopped after he finished undergrad, and with his Master's degree he had taken up more shifts at the library while teaching on the side. Of course, that didn't mean he stopped working out. Keeping fit was a daily part of his life. He went for a run whenever he could, and had a regime of strength training for at least 20 minutes a day.

"That girl needs to stop being such worrywart," the elder grumbled to himself. "I'm fine, goddamn it. I can walk and ta—" A fit of coughing interrupted the man's rant. Takashi was quick to pat the ill man's back until he was back in shape.

"I'll make you some tea," Mori shuffled into the kitchen. The dog followed, believing that it was about to be fed. As Takashi waited for the tea to boil, he peeled the apples and sliced the oranges. The elder watched from the doorway.

"You two do that texting thing still?" the grandfather was curious. From what he remembered, Mori's sole purpose in texting Hana was to let her know of the old man's condition. But now that Takashi didn't come around to visit, there was no reason for him to keep contact with his granddaughter. How Takashi knew about his cold meant only one thing: the two kids were talking.

"Sometimes." Hana often sent over photos at random times, or she would send them by mail. It was always a surprise. They talked occasionally, perhaps once a week or every two weeks.

"What are you two?" the elder asked.

Mori looked up from the plate of fruit. Obviously confused by the question, the young man could only tilt his head and blink.

"What do they call it now? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Dating?" His original intention was to tease the kid until Sawada-san found the behaviour of the child strange.

The young man slyly looked down to the half-cut apple in his hand and stayed silent. The dog began sniffing around his legs, nudging his calves for a piece of fruit. Mori cut a small piece of an apple to satisfy the animal.

"Answer me, kid," the elder lowered his voice when he found Takashi's behaviour suspicious. At the very least, the kid would always nod or shake his head. Evading questions were a sign of disrespect and the child was taught better than that.

Mori cleared his throat. "She asked me to check up on you." Technically it wasn't a lie. He wasn't sure how to explain what they had. They were in no rush to put labels on their relationship, in fact, they were comfortable the way they were. No labels. Just... comfortable talking.

The grandfather rolled his eyes and shook his head at the young man. The two made their way into the living area, with Kaina following Mori closely behind. When they settled at the table, Kaina sprawled its body across the floor, waiting for a belly rub by her friend that she hadn't seen for a while.

"Look at the way the little shit acts around guests," Sawada-san huffed. "She's a real annoyance. Wanting to be walked all the time, those annoying checkups at the vet, and not to mention the damn pet needs to eat. It's like caring for another child."

The elder's rants were another form of endearment. Mori and the dog knew that by now. The grandfather ate the apples quietly before speaking.

"She'll hurt you real bad so I don't have to," Sawada-san warned. The crunch of the apple piece resonated through the room as he bit into it, a neutral expression sprawled over his face as he chewed.  
Mori looked up from the dog to meet eyes with the elder.  
"If you hurt her, I mean," the grandfather smirked.

Mori could only nod.

"She could really throw a punch, kid."  
"I know," Mori had been on the receiving end of those numerous times.  
"I taught her that," the elder grinned while picking up an orange slice. He slurped the juice before ripping off the skin.  
Takashi nodded.

"I won't," Mori eventually choked out. He spent a few minutes wondering if it was even appropriate to speak and even then, he couldn't quite convey the emotions. He had to admit that a part of him was a little fearful of saying the wrong thing to offend the elder.

"You won't what?" Sawada-san pressed, narrowing his eyes.  
"I won't hurt her," the young man answered, his words came out a little rushed. Not as smooth as he had intended.

The grandfather stared at the young man for a few seconds, gauging whether or not the child actually spoke the truth. Mori did not break his stare until the elder reached down for his cup of tea.

"Well then. Do you plan to marry my granddaughter?"

Takashi's eyes widened. This blindsided him more than anything. This was not something he was prepared for. And he had been repeatedly kicked, punched, and pinned to the ground without warning for years during his life.

"There is only one right answer, Takashi," the grandfather sipped his tea and waited patiently for the boy's answer.

* * *

"No," Hana answered.  
"C'mon, Hana," Hiro pleaded. "Don't lie to your big brother."  
"Nope," she was adamant.

Hiro had been hinting at Hana and Mori's relationship for the past couple of calls. They called every few weeks. There _had_ to be something between the two, no matter how much his little sister denied.

"Stop meddling," she ordered.  
"I'm not meddling! I'm just being the concerned older brother."  
"I can take care of myself just fine, Hiro."

The girl was impossible to persuade.

"Okay. But I just want to know…"  
"What?"  
"Have you guys hooked up ye—"  
"Fucking shit, I'm going to hang up," Hana seethed. She had a goddamn paper to write.  
"I'm kidding," Hiro laughed. "But does he still have rock solid ab—"  
"I'm not kidding about hanging up," she warned.

"Look, I'm rooting for you guys. Whatever you two are."

Hana shook her head. What was it about everyone wanting to put a label on relationships? Hana never understood it. It wasn't anyone else's business, besides their own. Why were people so eager to define other people's relationships?

The pressure of people asking whether or not two people are "just talking" or "dating" to being "exclusive" and "boyfriend/girlfriend." It seemed like such unnecessary stress, especially for either of them who had papers to write and programs to graduate from. To define a relationship was not a priority to them, especially when they couldn't even be physically together. Yet despite it all...

"We're happy," Hana quietly said. "That's what we are."

* * *

 **A/N:** I head back to uni in a few days time - which unfortunately, means I won't be writing regularly for the next few months (unless I'm procrastinating - and hopefully that won't be the case). I hope all of you have had a wonderful holiday, and an early Happy New Year to all my readers. Your thoughts of course, are always appreciated.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Dress for the rain," Hana reminded. "Also the cold. And bring your running shoes. Socks. Lots of socks. My feet keep getting soaked, it's awful. I'm buying rain boots today."

Mori smiled, listening to Hana listing of things that he would need for London. He'd packed already, according to her texts over the past week. She called the night before his flight as she got ready for her day. She was an early riser, just like him.

"Um, what else… what else…" Hana paced around the flat, gathering her things for the day as she waited for her kettle to boil. She had her travel mug ready for her daily tea. Hana planned to head over to the library for the last push in finishing her paper and after that, she would be free. And somewhere along the way she'd buy a pair of rain boots, of course.

"Do you want anything from Japan?" Mori interrupted.

Hana paused for a few seconds.

"Just you."

He smiled. "Okay." An involuntary flush to his cheeks gave him a burst of warmth. Damn was he glad that she couldn't see him.  
"Travel safe, yeah?"  
"Okay."

Silence blanketed over them as they listened to their surroundings. The kettle whistled. Neither wanted to say goodbye.

"I'll see you soon."  
"Mm," he answered. She hung up and left him laying on his bed, with just one more sleep until his flight. Mori felt silly as he tossed and turned, having trouble falling asleep. It wasn't like him to be so excited for something.

And there he was, 3 AM in the morning, bringing up photos on his phone that she sent him. Never quite of her own face, just her hand, or other defining features of herself caught in the reflection of the mirror. Coffees, books, the sun, the trees, the rainy days. All of the small moments captured whenever she missed him.

Now, instead of seeing things through a camera lens, he'd be able to see her world with his own eyes. Just one flight away.

* * *

When she found herself at the airport, anxiously waiting and running her hand through her long dark hair – Hana wasn't sure what to make of it. Always, she had been on the other side watching as lovers, parents, or friends anxiously waiting for their person to walk through the sliding doors of the airport.

When she was young, maybe as a teenager, she thought of these dramatic meetings to be over the top. Annoying, almost. Public displays of affection, of any form – it was unchartered territory for her. When a child embraced their parent after long periods of time of not seeing them, after two lovers embraced, after friends who reconnected after so long – she never understood.

But nonetheless, she spent her formative years watching these small moments from her peripheral vision. And now she was experiencing it.

The sort of heartache of watching your other half leave, or the excitement with butterflies in your stomach – she wanted none of that as a teenager. It wasn't a movie, after all. And yet, she felt all the same, years later as an adult. The butterflies in her stomach, the anxiety that ran through her body. Was her hair okay? Did her makeup smudge from the rain? Were her rain boots too squeaky? Was she overdressed? What would he say? What was _she_ meant to say?

Things were awkward. In the best way possible. The beginnings of a relationship – more unchartered territory for the two of them. It was a new experience that Hana was trying to make the best of. There were no expectations of being swept off her feet. No expectations at all. She wasn't sure what to expect either. It didn't matter.

Things were bound to work out. They always had. Life had its ways, no matter how rocky the road seemed. They had no direction. Life gave them none. So they created direction and for now, there was no rush in creating a map.

Hana looked up at the Arrival screen for the nth time in the past 30 minutes. His flight had arrived in the past hour. Customs may have taken a while to get through, and baggage claim always took longer than intended. The young woman took a deep breath and waited. The sun was slowly rising, its rays peeking through the glass ceiling.

The red-eyed flight meant to tire him out but there he was, running on adrenaline in the early morning after a 14 hour flight. He had never travelled alone before. There was something very eye-opening about travelling on your own, with the worry of getting lost at the back of your mind at all times. Reading in another language was certainly a change – Mori managed to recall his English classes in Ouran. He certainly knew enough to get by, by reading - though speaking was a completely different train of thought.

Following the signs and walking through numerous pathways, Mori found himself at the end of his search. He recognized her immediately. Arms crossed, her mind somewhere else. Her hair was as long as ever, down to her mid-back, blending into her black coat. Her grey rain boots reached up to her knees.

A small smile crept up to his face. He slowly walked towards her, dragging his small carry-on behind. She glanced up at the arrival screen and back down to her phone. She looked nervous.

Hana didn't notice him. She was so fixated at the screen instead of watching the gates open and close at each passenger that arrived. She felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.

He stood there with a soft gaze, a small smile that crept up to his cheeks when he watched her eyes widen with surprise. She stood there not knowing what to say, almost trying to grasp to the fact that he was real. That _he_ of all people actually flew 14 hours to see her across the world. No one besides Hiro had done that for her.

"You're here," Hana whispered. Mostly to herself. Everything in her peripheral vision just seemed to disappear.

Mori nodded in response. It only felt natural to open up his arms, letting her in between. It was second-nature. A strange thing that Hana never thought she would crave. Affection was such a new experience. A part of her wondered if it would ever stop, and at the back of her mind: she hoped that it wouldn't.

Hana couldn't help but to grin when she pulled apart.

"Come on. Let's go."

With one hand on his luggage, his other hand was firmly gripped by her as she led him to the Underground.

* * *

Their trip was quiet. A comfortable silence that sat between the two. They started off stealing glances at each other noting the things that had changed.

His hair was shorter. He must have recently gotten it cut. She wanted to reach over to give it a good tousle. His eyes caught hers before she could even reach for him. Hana shyly looked away.

Her hair was longer. No waves, nothing fancy as he'd last remembered it. Plain and simple, with her hair straight until the middle of her back. The skin on her hands grew rougher than before. He grazed his thumb over the rippled skin.

Hana grew self-conscious at the gesture, pulling back her hand out of embarrassment.

"It's been cold," Hana tried explaining. The weather had dried out her skin and she was too busy with her paper and work to think of applying hand cream on a regular basis. Self-care wasn't exactly a priority, unfortunately.

Mori silently reached over to her hand again, this time making sure she wouldn't pull away. He interlocked his fingers with hers. Takashi wanted to know every little bit of her hand. He wanted to memorize the way her fingers curled over the grooves between his own fingers, every nook and cranny of her slender bones and knuckles.

She smiled at the way he held her hand. He was firm, but delicate. The way his thumb grazed over her own so faintly, she gently squeezed his hand in response. It was a small moment that they had before they had to step off the train.

Hana reached over to his luggage but Mori refused.

"You're already carrying a large backpack. Let me help," she insisted. "You must be tired."

It was quite the opposite, actually. There was a sudden burst of energy – likely from adrenaline, mixed in with endorphins from her presence. Mori shook his head again. He packed light, anyway. Hana frowned.

"Please Takashi," she mumbled. Hana gently tugged on his wrist and looked up at him, pleading with her large brown eyes. Takashi eventually conceded. He let her lead the way through the streets and up to her flat.

It was up a flight of stairs, to which Hana easily carried his luggage over. She opened the door to her flat that was reasonably sized for one person. An open-concept design with her bed by the corner and her office space at the window with a bookshelf lined across the wall. There was no couch, instead it was a nice open space. He noticed a yoga mat on the floor. It must have been where she kept fit.

It was a space that became a little small for two. But somehow, they fit comfortably. Mori admired the aesthetically pleasing mahogany floors that coupled with deep oak cabinets in the kitchen. It had a very antique feel to it – though the bright sheets of her bed and silver appliances gave a nice modern touch.

Hana settled in, placing his luggage by the bed.

"It's a little small," she sheepishly said when she noticed him observing the place from top to bottom.  
"It's perfect," Mori corrected. It was perfect for the two of them. He didn't mind.

"Are you tired?" He must've been, she thought. After such a long flight, there must have been some form of jet lag to experience.

He shook his head. "You can always take a nap on the bed," she offered. "Don't try to stay up if you're feeling tired." Mori only shrugged.

"Are you up for breakfast?" Hana looked at the time on her phone. It was half-past noon. "Or, I mean… brunch?"

He nodded. Honestly, he was up for anything, anywhere. So long as she was there. She eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he was lying about feeling tired.

"I'm fine," he reassured, as if knowing exactly what had gone on in her mind. She sighed and grabbed her keys off the counter. She made sure to grab a small umbrella before leaving and took him by the hand.

Mori was used to being dragged from place to place. Honey always took him by the hand when he wanted to go somewhere. With her, she always had a habit of looking up at him, as if to check if he was doing okay. He wondered why, but didn't seem to mind when she smiled up at him.

Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was there in front of her in person. Hana wasn't sure why he made her so happy. Was it the way he held her hand? The way he listened to her so intently, like she was the most incredible thing in the world? How he made her feel so secure, the thought that things were going to be alright – no matter how lost she felt – it was so, so, so strange. Strange in the best way possible. Strange in the sense that it was such a foreign feeling. One that she couldn't help but to like.

She took him to her favourite café. Hana always worked here on weekends with her laptop and stack of books. It was a cozy place that served the fluffiest croissants and had the greatest selection of teas she had ever seen.

Hana told him to pick a spot while she ordered for the two of them. He slowly made his way by the large windows that gave the perfect view to the small street.

Mori watched as she conversed with the cashier. Her polite chuckles that coupled with her eyes that smiled. Her laugher was sweet, and her voice rang through his ears. Was it because he hadn't seen her for so long that he felt this way? He was enchanted by the woman. It wasn't normal how someone could feel so elated by someone else's laughter.

Hana made her way over, her boots clacking against the hardwood floors. She carried over two trays of tea, one in each hand.

"English tea," she explained. "It's only right that you try what the English are famous for." Her thin fingers carefully placed the tray in front of him. He thanked her quietly, her hair coming close to his face as it cascaded down her shoulders. She smelled like jasmine.

"Go on," Hana ushered. Mori took a sip. It was different from their usual green tea. Not pure and clean like what he was used to. A creamier taste, with a hint of sweetness before a slight bitter aftertaste. It wasn't bad. It was certainly an acquired taste. Takashi nodded in approval.

"It's different," she took a sip of her own. "It took some getting used to. But it's quite nice, I think."  
"Hm," he agreed.

She looked at him, as if waiting for him to speak. Mori wasn't sure what to say. He could only return the same look. Hana laughed.

"You haven't spoken much," she noted.  
"Sorry," he apologized. Takashi had never been good with words and he certainly wasn't right then and now when he had the most beautiful girl sitting across from him.

"No, don't apologise," Hana shook her head. "Just let me know if you want to head back to rest. I know it's a lot to ask for someone to fly 14 hours just to see me. I should be sorry," she apologized, bowing her head out of habit.

"I don't mind," he responded. "You…" He wasn't sure where to begin. It was _her_ that sent over the ticket in the first place.

She looked up from the table at him. Hana sat there patiently, waiting for him to piece the sentence together.

"You're lovely."

He wanted to say thanks. But then he wanted to tell her how kind she had been to have him stay at her place and for flying him over. Then he couldn't help but to get lost in her eyes, how they locked with his own so intently. He got distracted by her small smile as she encouraged him to continue. Then… all he could think about how lovely she was.

There was something about hearing her mother tongue again, after so many years abroad. How she craved hearing the language she had first learned to speak. But there was something special about having him tell her that she was lovely in her own mother tongue that gave her butterflies. The way he looked at her with the most sincere eyes, as if he couldn't believe she was there in front of him. He made her feel so many things at once. Her heart skipped a beat.

"You two look so adorable together," the waitress commented when she brought over two plates of their signature breakfast dishes. Toast, baked beans, sausages, and over easy eggs. Nothing too fancy but it was certainly a hearty meal. Hana politely smiled at the comment and thanked the woman.

Mori watched as Hana's eyes darted towards a particular picture that hung on the wall across from them.

"What is it?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing." Hana continued cutting through her toast.

The picture was of a high cliff that abruptly cut off before a body of water. It was a beautiful photo with a man dangling his legs off of the ginormous rock that stood hundreds of feet tall. Mori turned to get a better view of the photo.

"It's a cliff in Norway called Pulpit Rock," the young woman stared at the photo with him. "There's something very alluring about that picture. I don't know. Every time I come, it's always taunting me to visit."

Mori turned to watch her look longingly at the photograph. "You should go."

Hana shook her head. "It's just… nice to think about. Can you imagine the hike to get to that tip? I'm sure the view would be more incredible in person." She took a bite of the toast. "I mean, it's not like it's far. The flight to get to the town nearest to the cliff is 2 hours from London, and from there, it's an hour drive."

Takashi tilted his head. It sure seemed like she was planning to go if she'd done this much research about it. He wondered what was stopping her. She noticed him looking at her quizzically. Hana smiled sheepishly.

"I, um…" she paused. "I planned it all out, I just… I realized that you wouldn't be there." Hana shrugged. "It wouldn't have been the same without you, so I just never really had the courage to go."

"I'll come with you." No hesitation. It looked like it would be interesting. The photograph was certainly enough to convince him. And of course, Hana as a reason was more than enough to solidify his decision.

"No," Hana shook her head. "You're only here for a week. Let's not get crazy." She looked up at him again. He blinked. Hana put down her fork when she realized he was still serious. Her lips parted in surprise.

"You're going to be hit with jetlag, Takashi. It's a 6 hour hike in total," she explained. "I don't want you to overexert yourself."

Mori shrugged. "It's fine."

Hana pursed her lips. Oh, how tempted she was.

"Let's go," he smiled at her. The way her eyes lit up at his words made his stomach flip over.

* * *

That evening, Hana booked their flight as Mori showered. She excitedly presented him the tickets that she printed out as he stepped out of the bathroom. Two tickets, a rented car, and her backpack was already packed. Mori was glad he packed his own hiking backpack as a travel bag – not that there was much. Her excitement was contagious. Though it certainly wasn't enough to keep him awake.

By the time Hana had gotten out of the shower, he was fast asleep. It was 9 PM. She booked their flight for the early afternoon. They would rest for the night before driving to the site the day after. Hana carefully crawled into bed after making last minute arrangements on her laptop.

She ran her hand through his soft hair as he slept. Hana expected things to feel awkward. But oddly enough, everything fell into place. Even how he shifted to face her in his sleep, how his arms somehow made their way around her waist to pull her towards him. All with his eyes closed. Somehow they just fit.

Hana woke first at 8 AM. For the first time in the long time, she stayed in bed for just a little while longer as she relished in the feeling of being enveloped by his arms. Hana came to love how they both breathed in sync. It was certainly much more comfortable than that one time she slept by the fireplace with him, now years ago. How far they have come, Hana thought. She smiled to herself.

It took all her willpower to shimmy her way out of his firm grip. She needed to make breakfast for the two of them and make travel arrangements to get to the airport. Hana let him sleep for a while longer, knowing that Takashi would require all the sleep he could get after a whirlwind flight and tiring day. It was only about to get more exhausting.

Mori woke up to an empty bed. It would've been a regular thing to him but he suddenly felt so cold without her beside him. He could hear the clacking of her keyboard as she worked by her desk with a cup of tea on the side. Takashi reluctantly lifted himself up from the bed. Hana immediately turned to find him groggily rubbing his eyes.

"Did I wake you? I'm so sorry, I meant to let you sleep until 9." She walked from her desk over to his side of the bed. He shook his head tiredly. She couldn't help but to smile at how adorable he looked with his messy hair and half-dazed expression.

She kissed him on the cheek and told him to get himself washed up for the day, grazing her fingers through his hair. How she wanted to do that since she first laid eyes on him at the airport, it was incredibly satisfying. Hana elicited a grin on his face when she pulled away while he obediently nodded, obviously still in a daze.

Takashi found her in the kitchen brewing tea. A plate of fresh fruit had been placed on the counter along with a few pieces of toast and scrambled eggs. Her hair was in a loose bun, already falling apart as she was still dressed in her pajamas. A loose fitting grey t-shirt and sweatpants while her feet were bare.

His arms swooped around her waist before he planted a kiss on her temple. His own way of saying good morning. No words needed.

She laughed at the gesture and faced him so she could return the affection.

"I could get used to this," Hana whispered.

Takashi smiled at her. He couldn't have agreed more. They were in such bliss. Neither of them wanted to think about things like whether this phase would last, or if it were a phase at all. There was no talk about the future, what direction this was going – it was the present that mattered. And the present made them so incredibly euphoric – it felt like a dream.

* * *

Hana seemed much more calm about delayed flights and travel arrangements being changed than anyone else he had seen before. During the days of the Host Club vacationing, it was always Kyouya who handled the rebookings while Tamaki and the Twins wailed or complained about their vacation being ruined. Hiro would join in on the mess if he wasn't too busy producing a track on his laptop – the noise cancelling headphones seemed to drown out the chaos.

Hana sat back in the seat and smiled. She was no stranger to these kinds of things. Especially from living abroad and traveling during her days of modelling.

"It happens," she shrugged. "Always expect the worst case scenario before travelling. That way you'll be prepared." They arrived in Norway in the evening, when the skies had already darkened. They slept almost immediately after arriving at their hotel, both of them expecting a long day ahead.

There was rain in the forecast but Hana laughed it off claiming that it would only add to the experience. She was always up for an adventure, no matter how dangerous or unideal. They woke up before the crack of dawn to drive to the hiking site.

"What if we get lost?" Mori asked while Hana navigated the roads. The GPS system was mounted to her left while she kept a decent speed on the dark roads. The sun hadn't risen yet.  
"Then we get lost," Hana shrugged. "We'll ask someone for directions, I guess."

Hana laid back in the seat while she drove, paying attention to the roads while listening to the music being played. Mori listened to her humming as she excitedly tapped her fingers against the steering wheel.

"When did you learn to drive?"  
"Sixteen," Hana answered. "Overseas." The age to get a license in Japan was 20. Mori hadn't even gotten a driver's license yet. There was never need to drive when you lived in Tokyo.

"Why?"  
"Honestly? I just thought it seemed like a useful skill – and Hiro was all about cars when he was 16. He really wanted a sports car – not sure if you remember that phase. But I mean, he got it and I'm sure it's still sitting in the garage somewhere. He ended up buying a couple cars and letting me drive them, for fun."

Hana kept her eyes on the road and continued. "Driving is… relaxing, I think. I enjoy it. Like, when you place your hand outside of the window and let the breeze run through your fingers. Or when you're on the racetrack with a sports car and you're turning right at the apex. The sensation just… reminds me of being alive. Just like hiking."

"Being alive?"

The girl paused as she tried to explain her stance. "Every day is so mundane, don't you think? Sometimes you forget you have blood flowing through your veins and that you're truly alive to breathe in the fresh air and experience new things."

Takashi thought for a moment. She had a point.

Though he would argue that sometimes, he did enjoy the mundane details of life. There was something very comforting about a routine. Mori did not mind the days being mundane, but rather, he enjoyed the regular days of uneventfulness. Was that strange?

"I like the mundane days," he admitted.

Hana laughed. "I guess it's different for all of us. I suppose working the usual 9-5 corporate schedule just wasn't for me. My internship wasn't even 9-5, it was more like 24/7. Investment banking is nothing close to mundane, it was a constant high-stress."

Mori nodded, listening closely and processing his thoughts.

"What will you do?"

"At the company?" Hana hummed. Mori was glad how quick she was able to catch onto his half-finished sentences. "The plan is to get control and have it grow under my hands for a bit. Get some steady growth, wait for the market to stabilize before announcing the merger with the Ootori Corp. They're looking into creating a subdivision of computer software, anyway – it's only a matter of…"

She paused. "Conscience, I guess. Whether I'll truly be able to give everything up and betray my father. Not that… not that we are family to begin with. It's… it's complicated."

Mori nodded and snuck a glance at her. She was focused on driving but he could tell that the future weighed heavily on her shoulders.

"It'll be a few years," Hana quietly said. "A few years of me pretending to take over a multi-billion company and then… who knows." Everything seemed so uncertain. Of course, the uncertainty still made her anxious. Though nowadays, it was more of a fact that she learned to accept. A way of life.

"What do you want to do?"

She shrugged. "I have some money invested in stocks already. I mean, I'm not a millionaire – but… it's steady so far. Everything is always a gamble. Life is a gamble," Hana sighed. "There's never quite a way to win. Just a way to evade the system."

Mori couldn't quite decide if Hana had grown to be a cynic, or perhaps just a stone-cold realist. Either way, something about her shifted. She was much more cool-headed. Less angry at society as a whole, and more accepting of the harsh realities of the world they lived in. How she fought against society strategically instead of bashfully – it was the true mark of maturity.

Hana had one hand on the stick shift and the other had a firm grip on the wheel. He instinctively reached over to her hand, reassuring Hana before she got too lost in her own thoughts.

He brought her back from her daze. She glanced at him before turning back to the road.

"Do you ever wonder about… your father?" Were these questions too personal? Mori no longer had much of a filter around her. He had grown much too comfortable around her. Even more so than Honey, to a degree. They had time to pass, anyway.

She paused for a few seconds. "My biological father? I… I guess not. Life has been too distracting for me to think about my actual lineage. Ojii-san has been more of a father, or really, a parent, in my entire life. I suppose I never really felt the need to search for whoever he is, out there. I have everything I need."

A small smile tugged at her lips. Hana had learned to be grateful for what she had. She came from privilege and Hana made every effort to remember that. Humility was very much a trait she strived to obtain at all costs. Ojii-san would have been disappointed in her otherwise.

Mori nodded in understanding.

They finally reached the carpark at dawn, catching up on the time they had lost. The skies were still overcast, but Hana was optimistic as she unloaded the car with their backpacks filled with supplies for the day. It was freezing cold without the sun.

"Ready?" She asked him, ignoring the cold and the wind. He nodded. She took his hand and they began the hike to the iconic cliff.

* * *

The path was steep and rocky. Some places were more slippery than expected given the spring rain that fell upon them. It was not the most popular destination of the season, especially given the weather. But that didn't stop her from pushing forward, while making sure he fell closely behind.

They were surrounded by lush forestry, wetlands, and beautiful ponds along the way. Hana made sure to take out her small DSLR camera to capture the moments. It was a challenging hike, Mori had to admit. He was panting about an hour into the entire journey. The steepness was no joke.

Hana found a spot beneath the branches of the tree to shelter them for a bit before the continued on with their journey. They rehydrated themselves and ate their bananas that they packed from the hotel breakfast.

"I don't know if you know this," Hana murmured. They let the pellets of rain fall around them for a little while longer before pushing forward. She looked up at him. "How important you are to me," she finished.

Her hair was up in a ponytail, practically soaked at the ends. Her face had no make-up on, her dark circles showing, her eyes still a little swollen from the lack of sleep. She was in no position where she dressed to impress. She was as raw as she could be in front of him.

"I'm serious," she poured out all her feelings, like how the rain had poured over them. "I just… I've always known that you would play an important part of my life. I just didn't know how. Whether you would be just a childhood friend or… who knows. But I didn't dare ask for too much."

Mori felt the same. He just wasn't sure how to express all of that in words.

"But now that you're here," Hana whispered. "Is it too much to ask for you to never leave?"

He knew exactly what she meant. Physically, they were going to be apart for who knew how long. But emotionally, they were attached. Forever, if that was allowed. If fate allowed them to be intertwined for life. If somehow all the stars were able to align for them to stay.

Takashi shook his head and gently tilted her chin upwards from the ground. He reached down to her lips, giving her his answer. Hana wrapped her hands around his neck, not wanting to let go. This was the bliss they didn't know when they would ever experience again.

"You're my sun. I can never leave you." His orbit was forever intertwined with hers. Her force of gravity was too strong for him to ever think of leaving.

* * *

By the end of the 3 hour hike, the couple finally reached the tip of the cliff that overlooked the fjord below. It was so incredibly serene. The fog had cleared up as the hours had gone by, with the sun occasionally peeking out of the clouds. The steep cliff had no railings, nothing to hold them back as they sat at the very edge.

Mori finally understood what Hana meant by feeling so _alive_. The idea that he could fall 600 metres to his death by a slight shift forward was more than enough to remind him that he was alive. The cliff was in the midst of the mountains surrounded by a deep emerald green with the aquamarine water that calmly wavered at the bottom.

She held his hand tightly with a smile.

"I can't believe I'm here," Hana was ecstatic. "All this time I've been dreaming to do this and here you are. You made my dreams come true."

Takashi shook his head. He hardly did a thing. He only tagged along.

They sat in silence for a bit. The view was still breathtaking. They breathed in the beautifully fresh mountain air and let the sunlight touch their skin after 3 hours of hiking. The warmth was much needed after the cold rain.

"I'm not your sun," Hana decided. The warmth of the sunlight made her realize something. Mori turned to look at her. "You're _my_ sun."

He tilted his head, perplexed by her sudden statement.

"All this time, you think I'm some unattainable… star. But I'm not, Takashi. You're _my_ sun. You always show up for me. My orbit never leaves yours because I need you. I always return to you – and that won't change, so long as you want me."

"Always," he answered, after a few seconds of processing her words.

There was something very relieving about hearing your feelings being reciprocated. There is a rush of anxiety and terror through your veins when you decide to be vulnerable. How you lay everything out for the other party to take and to cherish, or to throw away and destroy. There was no in between.

"You complete me," Takashi whispered.

They never thought of themselves as incomplete. All their lives, they were never searching for a missing piece. Life was a distraction. School, family, work, and more responsibilities.

Yet somehow, this feeling of being complete appeared when they were together. And suddenly, when they were apart, something was missing and they knew exactly what that sudden hole in their chest was meant to be filled by.

They had grown to be dependent on each other to a degree that neither of them could admit was healthy. They each had different lives to lead and places to be. But for now, they had a few more moments of being complete with their hands intertwined with their arms entangled with one another.

This was what being alive felt like.

* * *

 **A/N:** In before I disappear again after Reading Week. Thanks for reading, all of you. Honestly, this fic was supposed to be done in September of last year. Not sure how it dragged out to be so long, but here we all are, oops. As usual, your thoughts are much appreciated. They keep me motivated while I drown in all my assignments, midterms, lab reports, and soon, finals. Much love to all of you for your patience and continuous readership. I appreciate it more than you know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

There were habits you picked up on someone when you spent enough time with them. He had a habit of tapping his fingers against a surface without any noise. Two fingers, his index and his middle finger tapping simultaneously as if itching for something while he stared at nothing in particular. They would fall at a slow rate, unconsciously moving while he was lost in his thoughts.

Hana watched as he did it again, this time against the armrest of the window as she drove.

"Takashi," she spoke enough so that he could hear her over the quiet music playing in the background. She had a concerned tone to her voice.

"Hm?" his fingers stopped moving and he sat up a little straighter.

"Tired?" Hana offered in explanation of his spaced out behaviour.

"A little," he admitted. The jetlag was finally getting to him as the adrenaline wore off from their hike. Hana was still functioning fine, comfortably sitting in the driver's seat with her sunglasses that shielded her from the setting sun. She let her hair down after a long day, and it glistened under the sun along with her.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you when we're there."

Mori shook his head. If he slept, he knew that he'd have trouble falling asleep later that night. It was important to resist the temptation. Hana didn't argue. She just smiled and let him be. She made him feel comfortable. There was no pressure. No work to be done. No worries. An escape from the world – as if time had stopped and he was living another life.

It had to be too good to be true. He watched as she hummed to herself along with the music, sometimes sing a lyric. Her voice was sweet, just enough to hit all the notes in at a soft volume. He could listen to her all day. Hana bobbed her head, her fingers tapped against the wheel along with the beat. Hana was happy. Happier than he had ever seen her and with that, it made him so incredibly relieved.

Mori couldn't help but to think she deserved the sun and the stars. The mountains and the sea. Something… something made him feel inadequate. What if he couldn't give her what she deserved? He was the dark trenches of the ocean while she was the summit of a mountain.

Hana stole a quick glance at Mori. He was staring blankly towards the road, lost somewhere with an expression that she couldn't interpret with just a glance. Hana couldn't quite pinpoint why he seemed off. Was he tired? If he were, he would've fallen asleep, she thought. Was there something wrong?

"You okay, Takashi?" she asked.  
"Mm," he replied.

"What are you worried about?"

He was silent for a while as he pieced his thoughts together. She patiently waited, turning down the volume of the music to let him think.

"Us."

Hana's heart sank. "What do you mean?" Her fingers gripped the wheel tighter. It was an involuntary response, a way of defense. Just how she was taught from an early age. Mori was quick to catch onto her movements. She tensed up out of fear.

He reached over to her wrist, gently prying her fingers off of the wheel to reassure her that it was not what she thought.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.  
"Why are you apologizing?" she murmured, relaxing again. She had one hand on the wheel, and the other was captured by him. Hana didn't mind that one bit.

"I…" Takashi sighed. "I'm not eloquent enough to convey my thoughts."  
"You don't need to be eloquent," Hana comforted. "I don't mind." She squeezed his hand. "So long as you're honest with me," Hana whispered. Being vulnerable was a two-way street, after all.

"You're… you're like the summit of a mountain and I'm the deep trench in the ocean," he voiced his most recent thought aloud.  
"That's… deep," Hana smiled at her own joke. He shook his head and cracked a smile of his own. "Alright. So you're the deep sea. You're unexplored. A mystery. That's fitting, I suppose."

He chuckled. The deep baritone laugh resonated in her chest. Her heart skipped a beat.

"I don't know if I can give what you deserve."  
"What I deserve?" She repeated, mulling through the phrase before asking. "What do I deserve, Takashi?"  
"The sun. The stars. The mountains, and the ocean. Everything you desire in the world."

Hana smiled to herself. "But Takashi, you are the ocean. You are my sun. Do I not deserve you?"

"More. You deserve more." He grazed his thumb over her knuckles. She grinned and shook her head. He was so sweet, it was ridiculous. It made her smile. Hana could tell that his words were laced with an underlying worry – his insecurities that lurked beneath the mask of sweet words that rang in her ears.

"Takashi," she called for him to come back to the present before being drowned in his thoughts again. "What do you think _you_ deserve?"

That was a question he hadn't pondered. He just knew that he didn't deserve her. While they were both from the upper class, there were distinctions. He was no heir. She was. He was not rich, though he came from a family that was. Takashi lived his life simply, bearing no mind to the thought of what many considered success. Success seemed overrated. Millions of dollars held no significance to him. Reputation was not of any consideration to him either.

While he knew Hana was not one to care about such foolish things – she had no choice but to consider the reputation of her own company, her family, and her future. Mori did not live up to the same standards.

When he didn't answer, Hana figured she could fill in the blanks for him.

"The truth is, Takashi – you deserve better," Hana admitted. "You think I deserve better because you think I am on a different level. I'm not. I'm a wreck with no solid future. I am flawed in more ways than one."

Takashi listened to her words pierce through his ears. She was so brutally honest, her tone was sharp and her words were the raw truth.

"How so?" he egged her on. While her words seemed harsh and unpleasant – there was something very refreshing about her honesty. No filter. Nothing to hide. They were as vulnerable as they could be, and only with each other.

"Well – I'm selfish," she stated, as if it was the most obvious flaw. "I have yet to put my family or the company first before my own wants and needs. Who's to say I wouldn't put myself first before you?"

Takashi shook his head. "That is not true," he was quick to point out. "You took Hiro's place so he could pursue his passion."

Hana sighed. "Takashi, there was no way out of that mess. Either way, my intentions are not to fulfill the wishes of my family."

"So you're guilty?" he offered.

She shrugged. "I'm guilty for a lot of things." Hana sighed. Where to even begin?

"I have a life laid out for me – a rather luxurious one, I might add. And yet, I want none of it. I want what _I_ want. I _do_ what I want to do. People misconstrue that as taking control but—honestly, it's just because I am privileged." Hana paused, wondering if it was appropriate to stop there. But she didn't want to, not when she had weight on her shoulders that was just on the verge of being lifted.

"I feel guilty about it, and yet I unabashedly take advantage of it. I complain about being rich and then wish I wasn't born into this class. But how could I complain with a roof over my head while being educated in world-class institutions? I see fellow classmates taking out loans, working multiple jobs… and I…" She shook her head. "It's a complicated cycle."

Takashi sympathized with where she came from. He too, grew up in luxury with friends who were no less different than him. The difference was that Takashi had the freedom to choose the simple life, the privilege of being able to study, and to pursue what he wanted without the fear of ending up on the streets, with debt in his name and absolutely no financial security.

Hana laughed to herself. "I digress. I meant to say that I'm a selfish person… and I want you. I want things I do not deserve. I want to stop time and travel the world, to leave and stay places wherever and whenever I want. I want a job that doesn't hold me captive to the duties I uphold to a society that watches me like a hawk. I want everything I can't have and…" She inhaled. Hana was glad her eyes were covered by her sunglasses and that she wasn't confessing her heart and soul to his face. Her gaze was at the empty roads as the sun set.

"If I can't have you then," she gulped, trying to make sure her voice didn't crack. "I don't know what I'll do."

Mori squeezed her hand. She gripped the wheel tighter, taking deep breaths to calm down. It was dangerous to drive emotionally, after all. Hana glanced down to the speedometer, noting that she was going faster than she should have. She took her foot off the accelerator and relaxed.

"Sorry." It was her turn to apologize. "That was… that was a lot." She placed all of her pride on the line.  
"It's fine," his low voice reassured.

"I just – I just can't have you thinking I'm some kind of reward needing to be earned. If anything, you are the summit and I am the deep trench. I can't help but to think you're going to be disappointed by me."

"Never," Mori shook his head in her peripheral vision. His voice was low, and soothing to her ears.

"I can't always… be there," Hana explained. "I'll be busy with the company. I can't… be with you, freely – not when I'm meant to be engaged to Kyouya."

His heart sank. He forgot about Kyouya. It completely slipped his mind.

"It's not fair… and I can't say this is the most ideal situation."  
"Do you like him?" Takashi couldn't help but to ask. The Ootori was certainly a better candidate than he was in more ways than one. Charismatic, intelligent, and he had a literal army to back him if needed. He was a man of power.  
"Not in the way I like you," she tried to comfort him, with a small smile on her lips.

He was silent. Of course it didn't sit right with him. It wouldn't have been normal for anyone in their right mind.

"Kyouya's a good business partner," Hana explained. "He knows what he's doing, business-wise. But he isn't you, Takashi. He doesn't know me like you do. He could pull up my transcripts from Lobelia, Stern, or even LSE and recount my entire family history but," she paused, gathering her thoughts together. "You… you know my life better than he does. You embrace me with all your strength. You empower me and continuously remind me that there are better days ahead, as long as I'm with you."

Hana wondered what else she could possibly reveal. She was a mess with her deepest thoughts laid out on a platter to him. It was a terrifying thing to be vulnerable with someone, and Hana felt safer with him than anyone else in the universe. Usually, his silence was comforting with only his presence that kept her feeling calm. But now, Hana couldn't help but to feel a growing pit of anxiety in her stomach.

They reached their final destination, back at their hotel for a night before they departed to London. She parked the car and her heart was racing. He had been so quiet for the rest of their journey that it terrified her. What did it mean? Did he not want this anymore? Of course, it was understandable. Hana knew she wasn't the best candidate for a partner. She was going to be busy with the company, her growing career. Plus she was selfish, asking for things that she didn't deserve. On top of that, Hana couldn't be _normal_.

Regular couples could go out on dates without stirring the rumor mill amongst the upper class. She wasn't able to come home on a daily basis and cook dinner, or to settle in with a partner at night as they read books before bed. The smallest things were things that she could not have with a career that was going to take over her life in the next few years.

Hana couldn't provide Takashi the same amount of love and attention he deserved. It wasn't fair.

Takashi got off the car first, trailing around to the back. Hana opened the trunk from the front seat and reluctantly opened the door to join him at the back. She couldn't look him in the eye, and went straight for the trunk to unload their backpacks.

Mori was quick to block her with his arm, catching her attention immediately. Hana looked up at him, her eyes tired and almost terrified for what he was going to say about her entire monologue in the car. He could only give her a small reassuring smile, picking her up from the waist and embracing her tightly.

Her arms craned around his neck naturally as he lifted her off the ground for a few seconds. She held him back tightly, burying her face in his neck. He wasn't good with words, so he could only hope that his actions could convey the same feelings he felt.

"Stay." Hana whispered in his ear, almost begging. She was asking a lot from him. He was going to have to wait for her, for god knew how long for now. She needed him to trust her, to know that he was an integral part of her life. Hana wasn't willing to let him go, but she couldn't tie him down. "I know I won't be the best for you but… I'll try. I'll try to be there. Whenever you need me, like how I need you."

He held her tighter, his grip firm beneath her arms and his hands on her waist. She knew that he could pick her up without any problems and he only buried face in her hair. Breathing in her scent, closing his eyes as he treasured the time he had with her.

This was it. No matter how impulsive it seemed, he wholeheartedly decided that he was hers.

* * *

They had dinner at a small restaurant, hidden in the alleyways with where few people were aware. They were so physically exhausted from a long day, though oddly enough the two fed off of each other's presence to retain the energy of a thousand suns.

The way their eyes lit up when they made contact, the small smiles they exchanged at the slightest thing that crossed their minds. She quietly laughed at the way he stumbled with his fork and knife – it was oddly out of character for him as he was usually very poised with his chopsticks. He shrugged and acknowledged his silliness, not feeling embarrassed at all. Only glad that she had a smile on her face.

They spoke quietly in their native tongue, in the small corner with the window. It was so nice being able to speak Japanese again. Hana had missed the delicate language, in comparison to the hoarse English she learned to speak fluently without any accent.

"Ojii-san is well, yes?"

"Mhm," Mori answered. "He's been more prone to colds lately."  
"Old man isn't invincible after all," Hana shook her head. She sighed. "I can't thank you enough for taking care of him."

Takashi shook his head. "He's like a grandfather to me."

Hana felt a pang of guilt. "Your grandfather is the same to me. I apologise for not making the effort to visit. He's doing well with Yasuchika and Satoshi now, I presume?"

"They've long graduated," Mori informed her. Satoshi was now 21, in his last year of University, studying kinesiology.

Hana dropped her jaw in disbelief, quickly calculating how long it had been since they had last trained and how old Mori's sibling was. "My… how old we are. Satoshi is now 21?"

"You're 22," Takashi pointed out. She was hardly an old person, only a year older than his own brother. He on the other hand, was approaching 24 with hardly anything to show.

"I'm 23 this year," Hana countered. There was a two year gap between her and Satoshi, and one between her and Mori. "I feel like I have lived longer than that, coming from hell and back. It felt so long and tumultuous… and now looking back," she paused, gazing into his eyes.

"I still remember the day I met you again like it was yesterday. I was sixteen, and Hiro was so ridiculously excited for me to meet his friends," She chuckled to herself, replaying the memory in her mind. The halls of Ouran were so vast. The music room was excessive with antique furniture and vases that were just waiting to be broken had she not watched where she stepped. "I wasn't going to go with him that day, you know? I had an essay to write and a calculus test to study for."

"I'm glad you came," Mori fondly remembered the first time he saw her again. It was an instant moment of recognition. There was no doubt about it, how their eyes had locked and the way their lives seemed to be forever intertwined. They picked up the pieces that they had lost without any trouble.

"Time… it's so strange how polarizing we can perceive it to be. From being excruciatingly slow from day to day, and suddenly it accumulates into years and decades."

Mori nodded in agreement.

"Time is different when I'm with you," Hana whispered, mostly to herself. But he heard her just fine. "I had always felt like I was running out of time. Deadlines, job applications, meetings to attend… and in those events, those exams, the interviews, the meetings… time refused to pass fast enough. Does that even make sense?"

She looked up at him, as his gaze was fixed on her. He was trying to take in every bit of her. The way her lips moved, her eyes that wandered away from his face and then back, her ears that were red from the cold, her dark hair that fell effortlessly down to her shoulders. He listened as her voice transitioned from a husky, almost croaky tone to being smooth and melodious when she found her voice again.

He could only nod in response.

"Time passes slowly with you when I'm aware of it. The seconds that you take to kiss me, the minutes that you embrace my whole body with your entire soul, the hours that you spend holding my hand… and suddenly, I've known you for 16 years of my life. I only have a little more than 72 hours with you on this side of the world. And who knows how long I have with you… in the future."

She darted her eyes down to the table. They were still so young, and they were in such bliss. Hana was not naïve enough to assume that the rest of their lives were going to be that way. All good things came to an end.

Mori shook his head.

"Don't be silly," he murmured. "We have as long as you want."  
"How long do you want?"

Takashi paused.

"For the rest of my life."

Hana smiled and laughed at his statement. How awfully serious he seemed as he executed the joke was highly amusing to her.

He let her think he was joking and laughed along with her.

* * *

"There's only one right answer, Takashi," the elder said while he sipped on his tea. The grandfather watched as the young man sat in silence. He was expecting Takashi to squirm out of discomfort, or perhaps at the very least, seem petrified at the thought of marriage.

Young kids these days were afraid of commitment, apparently. Weaklings, the elder thought. Children in this generation were all weaklings that could not commit to their own fleeting decisions, refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

The grandfather half-heartedly asked the question to mess with the kid's head. But the long silence began piquing his interest. Was the child truly committed to his precious granddaughter?

Everyone and the damn dog had sensed something would happen between the two. They had a bond, an energy that could be sensed by anyone in a room with them. It was only a matter of time that they realized it themselves.

Takashi cleared his throat.

"Yes," he said. There was no faltering in his voice. No sense of uncertainty. His decision was made and he, as he was taught from a young age, was going to honour it. His words were now set in stone.

The grandfather nodded in approval.

"Well then," the man put his tea down on the table. "Your old man owes me 10 000 yen. Get me the damn phone so I can call him up for tea on Sunday."

* * *

Her body was tucked comfortably under his arm while her head rested on his shoulder. Mori watched as she flipped through the pictures she had taken over their hike during the day. His fingers mindlessly brushing through her hair as he took in the jasmine scent.

She had an eye for things. A small leaf on a branch, with a glistening drop of rain hanging on the surface. Flowers that peaked its sprouts through two grey rocks. Small details to the large scenic landscapes that they oversaw at the cliff. The sun that shone through the grey clouds to place just the right light on the water in the fjord, highlighting their aquamarine hue that complimented the emerald forest that shielded the rocky mountains.

"That one is nice," he murmured, pointing to the picture that placed the whole cliff in one shot.  
"Yeah? I'll print one out for you," Hana smiled. "You can put it on your desk at school."  
"I'd like that," he smiled.

Hana snuggled closer to his body, making herself more comfortable. He welcomed her presence, letting her shift in his arms. He wasn't letting go any time soon so she might as well get comfortable.

"We didn't take any pictures with us," she realized.

Mori shrugged. He was never the type to pose for pictures anyway. She glanced up at him and had a mischievous smile on her face. Hana extended her arm and quickly kissed him on the cheek while snapping a photo. He widened his eyes in surprise, a little dazed at the whole ordeal as he tried to piece together what had happened.

Hana turned the camera around to see the shot. She frowned at the blurriness.

"Well, I tried," she laughed off the attempt while Mori quietly shook his head and took away the camera. It was embarrassing. But he couldn't help but to smile.

"It's easier with a phone," he reached for his phone on the nightstand with his long arm. She looked up at the screen and smiled on cue. Unlike him, Hana was much more photogenic. After all, she was trained to look good in photos for a living.

"Half your face was cut off in that photo," Hana said while she quietly took the phone from him, framing both their faces in the shot. Mori wasn't particularly good at photos. His lips were flat, bunched slightly to his left into a small smirk. She laughed and called it cute.

They finally took a decent shot of themselves, with Mori resting his chin on her shoulder. His usual smirk was paired with Hana smiling widely with both her lips and eyes.

"Never send that to Hiro," she warned. "He would freak out. Actually, don't show that to Ojii-san either. Goodness, I have no clue how he'd react."

Hana put the phone back to the nightstand on Takashi's side, sprawling her body over his. He comfortably had her by the waist, pulling down the t-shirt that had rose above her hips while she stretched over him.

"He didn't seem to mind," Mori commented.

"What?" Hana sat straighter. "Ojii-san knows? About us?"

"He had bets placed on us with my grandfather."

The woman groaned. "Are you for real? They probably placed bets on other stupid shit."  
"They made a bet on marriage and kids."  
"Holy shit," Hana gasped. "No. I'm only 22. I'm not… no, no to marriage."

"But one day?" he quietly raised an eyebrow.  
"One day," Hana smiled. "Maybe not any time soon though."  
"Your grandfather bet 2 years."

Hana wanted to smack her head on the bedframe. "That's a lot of pressure."  
"5 years from now for their first great-grandchild," Mori informed.

Hana buried her head into his neck for comfort. "They need lives. Honestly." His chest rumbled in laughter. She joined in with him.

"He misses you," Takashi whispered into her ear after their bout of laughter.  
"I miss him too," Hana admitted. "I miss you too, when you aren't around."  
"I'm here now," he reminded.

She nodded, basking in the warmth of his body for a little longer. A few more days with them. An escape from the reality that was slowly seeping back into her life. Hana hadn't felt this relaxed in a long time, forgetting that she led another life beyond this nomadic one.

"I got accepted to the doctorate program," Takashi wasn't sure why he chose then and there to tell her. But it was as good of a time than any. She looked up at him, smiling at the news.

"That's wonderful, Takashi."  
He nodded. It was nice to be able to stay in Toudai for it too. While he toyed with the thought of possibly doing his degree elsewhere, perhaps even abroad, he ultimately decided to stay in his homeland.

"I start work in May," Hana looked up to the ceiling, a little disappointed at the fact. Mori could tell that she was dreading the thought.  
"What would you rather be doing?"

Hana shrugged. "Quietly investing my own capital. Not that I'm not doing so already on the side, but… full-time. I'd like to be a hedge fund manager, maybe one day. Managing a portfolio of millions… it would be interesting."

Takashi shook his head, almost in awe of her. He knew nothing about finance, and she was well beyond her years. She had so much potential and yet, so few people saw her in that light. He held her tighter in response, telling her that he believed in her. He was her support system, even if the walls came crashing down. Her solace during the rough journey ahead.

She returned the same embrace, resting her head on his chest and burying her face in his neck. She was happy. She placed a hand on his chest, watching as her hand travelled rhythmically up and down. It calmed her. She could feel his heartbeat beneath her palm, in perfect sync with her own.

"Koi no yokan."

It was a phrase that resonated in her ears, a feeling that emanated in her soul at the thought of him.

"Koi no yokan," she repeated in agreement. "I felt that… years ago."

It was not like love at first sight. A kind of premonition you had when you met someone, a growing feeling that they would become an integral part of your life. A sense that they were going to become something, though never quite putting a finger on what. What slowly blossomed as an old friendship into a fruitful relationship between lovers was a long journey. It was a slow progression of feelings that took years to develop while a solid foundation had slowly been set.

"I knew."  
"Knew what?" Hana asked.  
"That you were it."  
"What do you mean?"

Mori shook his head. How was he meant to explain the whirlwind of emotions that she made him feel?

"No one else. Just you."  
"What about Honey?" she reminded.  
"He's different."  
"Different?"

She was not an obligation. She never was an obligation. Of course, he loved Honey and their bond would never be broken. Though they now led their own respective lives, meeting up every so often. But she was different. Hana was a choice that he selfishly made to pursue. He willingly disregarded the implication of their relationship to her career, her reputation, her own family – under mutual agreement with her, of course.

"You… you set me free." Free from his duties. Free from being trapped in a cage that he was bounded to, a life of servitude to the Haninozuka family by tradition.

Hana sighed. "Takashi, as much as I enjoy deciphering your puzzling phrases – I'm afraid I don't follow."  
"You let me be selfish."  
"Selfishness rubs off on people, doesn't it?" she chuckled. "Don't count on it as being a good thing for long."

She was playful. Worry-free. Happy. Things he hadn't seen from her in so long – and the greatest part was knowing he was the reason for it. He loved hearing her laugh. He loved seeing her smile at him. He loved being the reason for her smile. Was happiness meant to be so contagious?

"I'm grateful," Takashi murmured, running a hand through her long hair.  
"I am too," Hana smiled. "Please don't forget that."

He nodded.

She reached over to kiss him on the cheek, trailing down his jaw and finding his lips, sealing her words as a promise.

* * *

Goodbyes were harder than she thought.

Hana was always taught to tough it out. You had to learn how to get hit before hitting. She wasn't meant to feel this awful about letting go. Being weak was not in her itinerary when she stood with him before the gates at Heathrow. She could hear her grandfather chiding her already.

His flight was an hour and a half away.

Takashi watched as she tried to speak. She inhaled, opened her mouth, then hesitated before exhaling. She bit her lip in frustration as she had an internal struggle with herself. He could see it in the way she acted.

He tugged gently on her arm, giving her a look.

"I'm fine," she reassured. "You should… you should go," Hana ushered.

He didn't budge. Takashi was trying to read her expression. The woman ran a hand through her hair, and shook her head.

"I'm… really glad you came."

Mori nodded.

"I'll be home by the end of the month," she promised. "I'll visit your grandfather. I promise. It's about time I pay my respects to Morinozuka-san."

"He'd like that."

"I'll uh, yeah. Call me when you're home? Text me, if you're too tired. Um. Yeah." It was getting harder for her to piece together real sentences. Why was she feeling so awful? When did this aching feeling in her chest start appearing?

"I will."

She gulped and blinked a few times, taking a few breaths. Hana nodded to herself, easing into reality again. She was supposed to be cool about this. But she was just a bundle of embarrassment in the middle of Heathrow.

"Why is this so hard?" she blurted out. "God damn it, you should've left before I turned into this rambling mess." It was the phase of defensiveness as she tried to cover up her moment of weakness. No tears. No tears. No tears. She chanted to herself.

"Sorry," he did his signature smile, though it was more of a smirk as he watched her fumble with the phone in her hand.  
"Go," Hana demanded, pointing to the gate.

Mori picked up his backpack and gripped onto the handle of his one luggage. He packed light.

"Wait, no," she frowned immediately. Why was she being so needy? Where was her filter? This was not right. This was embarrassing.

Takashi raised an eyebrow. Hana buried her face in her hands.

"Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Takashi laughed at her behaviour. It wasn't like he wanted to leave, either. Hana managed to speak for both of them, at the expense of her own dignity. He let go of his luggage and brought her closer to his chest. He planted a kiss on her forehead and held her. She just fit so comfortably beneath his chin, how could he resist?

"Don't spoil me like this." Hana wanted to let go. But after all, she was selfish. She made the conscious choice to let go only when she felt ready to. "You're going to miss your flight at this rate."

Mori didn't mind.

"This is so bad," she groaned.  
"I don't think so." He locked his grip around her waist a little tighter. She wasn't even fighting against it. She just latched onto him.

"We look like one of those sickly couples that everyone hates watching at the airport."  
"Are they that bad?  
"I despised them and now I am one of them," Hana grumbled. "I'm such a hypocrite."

Mori looked around. People walked past them without a second glance, everyone was too busy to care. Those who noticed didn't linger for long as they continued on with their day.

Hana sighed.

"Does this thing last?"  
"What?"  
"This phase. The never-wanting-to-let-go thing. The bliss. The dumb grin on my face. When does the comfort phase begin? The apathy?"

Mori looked down to her eyes. She was always the realist.

"Do you want it to end?"  
She shook her head.

Takashi shrugged. "Then… we'll see."

"Are you worried?"  
"Should I be?"

Hana thought for a bit, biting her lip. Mori watched as her eyes faltered to a daze before she came back.

"No," she smiled. "I don't think so."  
"Okay then."

"Do you think we'll argue?"  
Takashi was unsure how to answer this question. "Why do you ask?"

Hana didn't know.

"I just want to be prepared. Things seem too perfect. Every couple fights, right? I mean. It wouldn't… seem right if we didn't."

"Then what do you want to fight about?" Mori thought these questions were silly, but he played along.  
Hana rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Maybe we'll have our first fight one day."  
"But we've already fought," Takashi smirked. "On the mat."

She laughed. "How could I forget?" He joined in with a deep chuckle.

"Okay. Sorry. I know. I'm being silly," Hana admitted. "I'm just – I don't know. Being irrational."  
"It's okay."

Hana finally let go. This was it. He needed to go home. She needed to go home. They had lives to lead. It was back to reality.

Mori watched as Hana's eyes shifted from her soft gaze to a sharp glint. She was ready to fight again. He admired that. The way she shielded herself within minutes. Yet, he knew her like no one else. How he was the only one who was allowed to see her vulnerable, in her silly state of insecurities. Her irrational side. Her flaws. Every single detail. She was so incredibly beautiful.

"Go on," Hana smiled. "I'll be okay."

He didn't doubt that. She was much stronger than anyone gave her credit for.

It was hard. He would see her again in a few weeks. It wasn't that difficult of a task to live without her. It wasn't like he couldn't function. He just… got a taste of what could be. Of happiness at the fullest degree. The feeling of completeness. The thought of being empty again made him ache a little.

Did she feel the same? He wondered.

Her eyes faltered for a split second when he locked eyes with her.

She did.

She felt exactly the same.

He took some kind of comfort in that. How they were intertwined in their emotions, no matter how hard they tried to hide it. There was no fighting it.

He was so ridiculously in love with her.

He wondered if she knew that.

* * *

 **A/N:** I very slowly began writing this chapter over the course of two months. Now that exam season is finally over, I'm hoping to be able to write more often. No promises though. It's been quite a journey with these two and it's always a difficult time picking up the pieces as a writer (while keeping my sanity after another year of uni - fingers crossed that I've passed all my courses).

Anyway, as usual, thank you all for reading. Your thoughts are much appreciated.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Hana was in the midst of packing up her place before moving back to Japan. While she never quite called London her home, her small flat was certainly a place she was going to miss. She had grown attached to the sun that shone through the windows each morning, landing on her desk first before hitting the pane of her bed. The kettle that sat above the gas stove, the oak cupboard of tea that she had stocked up over the past year, the long nights at the granite kitchen counter studying when she couldn't stand sitting at her regular white desk.

Perhaps it wasn't so much the flat that she was going to miss.

It was the freedom. The freedom of waking up each morning without dreading the idea of going off to do something she absolutely hated. Maybe this was adulthood was like, the cynicism was settling into her bones as she imagined the small cubicle she was going to have to work from.

She cringed at the thought before her phone set off.

"Hana!" Hiro frantically whispered.  
"What are you doing? It's like, 6 AM in New York. You don't get up until noon." Hana knew her brother like the back of her hand.  
"No, you don't understand. I uh, I was going to make breakfast. But it turns out I've never cooked in my life."

Hana laughed. "Okay, so why did you call me?"  
"How do you make pancakes?"  
"Do you even have food in the apartment?"

She heard Hiro open a few cupboards before closing them immediately. The fridge door was pried open before being shut. He scurried through the place, checking in on the bedroom before crawling into a quiet corner to talk to his sister.

"No," he answered. "Is that going to be a problem?"

Hana wasn't sure whether to laugh or yell at her own brother for his ignorance.

"Well, I guess you can have imaginary pancakes for breakfast."  
"God damn it, Hana. I don't have time for your sass right now."

Hana rolled her eyes. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?" Hiro never cooked a single meal in his life. He never had to. He grew up with people serving him left and right, and knowing how much he made over the past few years – Hiro was definitely the kind of person who ordered take-out on a daily basis. He could afford going out every night, if he wanted to.

"Well uh, this… this guy is kind-of… sleeping over right now? And I thought it would be nice to maybe surprise him with breakfast?"

Hana raised an eyebrow, processing her brother's words. She leaned on the kitchen counter, waiting patiently for her brother to continue.

"Don't judge me, okay? I… really like this guy."  
"Not judging, Hiro. What's he like?"  
"Hot. As. F—"  
"—Besides that," she cut him off. Hana wasn't interested in that particular aspect, so to speak.  
"I'm kidding."  
"Are you?"  
"No," Hiro grinned. "But he's… great. Like, we connect… on so many levels? He's a musical genius. You should hear him on the sax, it's incredible. He's so witty and… good at life? Like, he has his shit together and he's just – he makes me want to get to his level? He's so ambitious and… I don't know."

Hana nodded, glad to hear that her brother was happy. It was nice that he found someone who challenged him to become better at his own craft, and at bettering himself as a whole.

"Anyway, so pancakes?" The crisis at hand still was not settled.  
"Take him to that nice brunch place a couple blocks north, the one that I took you to before I left. They have great pancakes. You can crawl back into bed and get settled into the morning instead of freaking out," Hana suggested. She took Hiro there before she left for London for their last meal together as siblings.  
"Man," Hiro sighed, obviously relieved. "What would I do without you?"

"Burn the building down, probably."  
"Your sarcasm is much appreciated during this crisis."  
"The crisis got averted," Hana pointed out.

The siblings took a moment to gather their thoughts, reflecting on how long it had been since they had last spoken.

"Any plans for the summer?" the younger sister asked.  
"Got commissioned to write a score for an independent film so, I think I'm going to stay in New York for the summer… and you know, hang out with… him."  
"Cool," Hana shrugged. "Keep me updated, yeah? Send me a picture or whatever."  
"Of course. How's it going on your side?"

The sibling groaned. "Packing up. I start work at the company next week."

Hiro rolled his eyes. "Okay, none of that boring stuff. Give me the juicy details."  
"What details?"  
"Oh, you know… Mori and all." The brother was grinning from ear to ear, his curiosity peaking through the roof.

Hana stuttered, trying to piece together the words. "We're… uh, we're cool."  
"Cool? What the hell does that even mean? _We're cool,_ " Hiro mocked.  
"Yeah, we're… cool. Y'know. On good terms."  
"Are we talking like, friends-with-benefits cool?"  
"Uh, no," Hana deadpanned. She got a cardboard box and began packing up the mugs and tea boxes in the cupboard. She placed the phone down on the counter.  
"So like… we're-gonna-get-married-and-have-kids cool?"  
"What kind of spectrum is this?" the sister asked, nearly dropping a mug. She was obviously exasperated by the thought.

Hiro stifled a chuckle. "Well, it's one or the other, sis."  
"Well it's… somewhere in between!"  
"Why is it so uncomfortable to call him your boyfriend? Like, it's so obvious that you guys are a thing."

Hana grabbed the last tea box from the top shelf and placed it into the packing box. She took the phone off of the speaker and placed it back on her ear, leaning against the counter again. She looked around the place. It was half-packed. She still had a lot of work to do.

"We never defined it, okay? It's complicated." Just like the mess in her flat at the moment.  
"How?"  
"Well, for one, I'm supposed to be engaged to Kyouya."

Hiro shook his head, and stepped out into the balcony so he could talk instead of whisper. The honking of the traffic blow his apartment could easily be drowned out.

"There's no ring on your finger, Hana. Who says you're engaged?"  
"Our family? His family? Basically everyone that matters in this business transaction."  
"Oh please," Hiro waved off Hana's concerned tone. "Like Kyouya would care."  
"I think he would care that his pretend-fiancée is going off besmirching their pretend-engagement."  
"Little details. The public doesn't know about the engagement yet," the brother obviously did not see the complexity of the issue. "Listen, Kyouya's not interested in you."  
"I'm well aware of that," Hana snapped. "But… it's not fair to Takashi."

Hiro smirked. "You're on a first-name basis with him, hey?"  
"This isn't what's important here, Hiro."  
"He'll understand," the brother reassured. "He's not the kind of guy to get jealous. Unless you're into that, then I mean, he could proba—"  
"—God damn it, Hiro. You're missing the point," she groaned.

The older brother smiled. He was kidding.

"What are you so afraid of, Hana? Losing Mori? Losing the company? Because you won't lose either. Mori is by far, the most loyal person I know. He won't give up on you if you won't. And knowing you, god damn, Hana you're going to take the company by storm."

The sister mulled over the words of her brother. It was a nice pep talk, but it wasn't convincing enough to keep her from thinking otherwise. Hiro knew that Hana wasn't convinced by the silence on the other line.

"Stop overthinking."  
"I'm not overthinking, I'm just… just preparing for the worst case scenario."  
"What would that be?"  
"I fuck up," Hana sighed. "I don't… actually _know_ what I'm doing. " She winced at the thought of working in upper management in the company. "I'm not supposed to be in management. I'm supposed to be tracking stocks and bonds, figuring out which investments to short or long – fuck, I went to school for _finance_ , not business management. I'm going to be too busy with all this on my plate. I won't have time for Takashi, for Ojii-san, for you, even."

Hiro listened to his sister rant, her anger masked the underlying fear of not being good enough. How could he blame her? If he had to work for the company, god knows how much he would be the one to create a disaster before noon, unintentionally.

"I hate this. What kind of fucked up position did they conjure up for me? Some _managing director_ of some department. People are going to talk about how I copped this job because I'm the 'daughter' of the President. I'd feel more comfortable working from the bottom up. "  
"You'd rather be on the bottom, hey? Not the top?"  
"Are you serious? An innuendo? Now? _Right_ now?" Hana was riled up at how unsupportive her brother was being, and Hiro could only laugh. The sister took a moment to take a few breaths. She knew he was only kidding, though she wished he was better at timing his jokes.

"You're going to be fine. I believe in you," he assured.  
"Yeah, yeah," Hana rolled her eyes. She had enough of this bullshit.

"You can ask Kyouya for help," Hiro offered. It was probably the most helpful thing he said all day.  
"How much that would cost?"  
"Free of charge if you blackmail him. I'm 99% sure the Hitachiins have some stuff up their sleeve if you ask them. Granted, half the things they say will not be true but they have a great knack of coming up with some scandalous rumors with a great realistic twist."

Hana laughed to Hiro's relief. "Duly noted for desperate times."

The older brother bid farewell to his sister, letting her pack for her trip back to their homeland.

* * *

Hana knocked on the door that was the closest she could call home in Japan. She should have called beforehand but she had a gut feeling that her grandfather would have refused to let her stay over the phone. She landed in Japan only a few hours ago, with her luggage and all being dragged onto the subway station and through the hills to his quiet neighbourhood. Immediately, barking was heard in response to the intruder. Kaina was a guard dog, after all.

"Kaina," Hana called out. "Open the door for me."

The barking stopped at the sound of her voice. The dog was smart enough to recognize the familiar sound. Hana could hear the paws scurrying from side to side behind the door.

"Turn the knob with your paws. Or slip me the key somehow from the backyard."

The door was opened by her grandfather who was obviously not amused by the sudden ruckus.

"The damn dog isn't that smart. What the hell are you doing here?" His eyes were narrowed, and a scowl was sprawled over his aging face. Hana could see the lines defined around his eyes and nose. Ojii-san had aged immensely over the past few years.  
"I'm home?" Hana gave a guilty smile, dragging her luggage behind her. She casually pushed her way into the home. She missed the smell of green tea and bamboo mats.

"I didn't invite you in," the grandfather snapped.  
"You have to fight for what you want," Hana quoted him. She took off her shoes and made herself comfortable. Hana quickly settled down into the living room and onto the tatami mat, inviting Kaina into her arms. The dog happily sprawled its body over her legs, asking for belly rubs.

"I didn't teach you to intrude on other people's homes," the man chided.  
"Ah, but you are my grandfather and you don't count as 'other people'," Hana wittingly replied.

The grandfather grunted. "Don't tell me you're staying here forever."  
The granddaughter pursed her lips and shrugged. "I can do chores and pay rent?"  
"If you could pay rent, then go pay rent elsewhere at your own place!"

Hana fake pouted. "Would you really kick your own granddaughter out?"  
"If it teaches her a goddamn lesson," the elder grumbled.

He took a good look at his granddaughter. Hana looked exhausted. Her hair was tied messily into a bun, her eye bags were deeper than he had ever seen. She still smiled at the dog who was overjoyed by the presence of the guest. Hana had aged into an adult, and she was no longer that naïve child who looked at the world with optimism and hope. Something about her had shifted. The last he had seen her was nearly three years prior. He could remember those sombre eyes, trying to strategize her next move after being declared the new heir.

The elder almost felt a pang of guilt, watching the warrior he had raised defeated in a battle that she was never meant to win.

"I'll find my own place in a few weeks," the granddaughter murmured as she pet the dog. "I won't be here for long."

The grandfather shook his head. "Suit yourself. Do your parents know you're here?"  
"Probably not," she shrugged. "I start work next week. I've sent in the paperwork so, at the very least, I'm bound by a contract to show up."  
"So what's the next move?"

The granddaughter looked up to her grandfather and admitted the hard truth.

"Defeat."  
"Nonsense, child." She was a fighter. Hana wasn't going to type to give up like this.

Hana sighed. "There is no way to win, Ojii-san. I thought it would be an easy pass-off to the Ootori group after I gain control but, I don't know when that would be. A year? A decade?" Hana had no timeline to work with. She thought that her bought time would allow for a plan to form. But in all honesty, Hana was still at a dead-end.

"I don't know what Father is scheming, either. The likely goal of his is to pass off the company to Kyouya the whole time, using me as a pawn for marriage. I've run through too many scenarios in my head during sleepless nights. I was naïve enough to think that the Ootori would be willing to work with me but – I was young and optimistic. I had no contingency plan in case he betrayed me."

"So you think the kid is going to betray you?"  
"I think it's good to be prepared," Hana explained. "People change over the years. It wouldn't be a surprise."

He raised her to be a realist. Though he had the harsh world to blame as it had gnawed away all of the naiveté in her over the years. The grandfather roughly patted her on the back, a seal of approval of some sort to acknowledge her growth after these long years.

"Is Morinozuka-san busy these days?" Hana asked, changing the topic.  
"Why do you ask?" the elder narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  
"Takashi visits you often. It is only right that I pay respect to his grandfather as well."

The grandfather shrugged. "He's about as busy as I am. We play chess and have tea every week."  
"Is he beating you?"  
"Only by two games," the elder grumbled. "I'll catch up, I just know it."

Hana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, alright. I believe you."  
"Have a little more faith in your old man, will you?"  
"Ojii-san, your moves are usually based upon impulse more than strategy."  
"Says who?"  
"Says the man who inadvertently taught me to fight in the same order! Took me years to get rid of the impulsive behaviour."

The elder scoffed. "Don't kid yourself. Get some rest, child." The grandfather gave his granddaughter a good pat on the back.

Hana listened obediently, making herself comfortable in the small guestroom. She took a quick shower and freshened herself up. She looked awful. But who was she here to impress, anyway? Kaina followed the guest around the house, watching as she unpacked. Hana took a quick break, sitting on the couch with the giant fluffy guard dog.

The grandfather ended up finding Hana asleep on the couch with the dog, her arms entangled beneath the animal's stomach. She must've fallen asleep while petting the thing, and the goddamn dog always fell sleep regardless of where it was at.

She was robbed of her youth. He built her up to be a warrior, without any chance to let her enjoy the swings at the park. The elder watched as she grew into a young girl, thrust into an industry that put her in a light that she refused to be under for the rest of her life. How hard she fought against a futile battle that he set her up for.

The elder pitied the girl. He always had. And he never quite knew how to fix it. He could build her up into a champion, force her to run laps until she was on the verge of collapsing, teaching her discipline and determination – but they were back at square one. She was always going to lose.

But there was always something unpredictable about the child.

Sawada-san refused to believe that she had lost that incredible trait about her. She called it impulsivity, but the grandfather saw it as a spark.

* * *

Jet lag meant that she woke up before dawn and slept after the sun set, which just so happened to be the same sleeping schedule as her own grandfather. It was an early morning when Hana was told to get into her workout gear so they could head to the dojo like old times.

"You can kick harder than that."

She honestly couldn't. Hana was rusty in her technique after years abroad. She practiced yoga and some pilates on the side in the mornings when she woke up. Mixed martial arts took too much of her time and she had no time to commit to it.

"This is unacceptable."

Hana took another deep breath and pushed harder.

"Come on, Hana," the grandfather coached. "Kick it like you mean it."

She took another stab at it. She missed the target and hardly made a dent.

"Again."

Her legs were burning. She was losing focus because of the dizziness. Blood rushed up to her head, clouding her view suddenly. She stumbled a little bit, losing her balance.

"Fuck," she muttered. Hana wondered why she couldn't get back to it. Mind over matter, mind over matter, she murmured. At a last resort, she punched the bag instead with a war cry that accompanied the large swing. She was frustrated.

Hana was angry. The pent-up emotion that had been broiling over the past few years finally let out from a giant sucker punch that left her arm paralyzed for a moment. Hana was angry at herself, angry at the lack of a game plan she had for her future. She was furious at how she was stuck in a place that trapped her in a maze. She was back to square one, whether she liked it or not.

The same place of being lost. Being afraid of what was next, right when she thought she had things under her control. She had nothing. Hana plopped down to the ground, drenched in her sweat as she tried to catch her breath again.

The elder watched his granddaughter on her knees, defeated.

"Get back up, Hana."  
"One minute," she huffed.  
"Five seconds."

She listened obediently and wiped her forehead. Sweat still dripped down the side of her face. She was back on her feet, back into the fighting stance after five seconds. Her heart wasn't in it. Her body was sore and exhausted. The grandfather shook his head and called it a day.

"Let's go home."  
"I can keep going," the granddaughter gritted through her teeth.  
"Tomorrow, Hana. I'll be late for my chess match." He patted her on the back. "We can go meet that old goon and you can pay your respects, child."

Hana nodded and looked down to the ground. Whether it was out of exhaustion, or disappointment, Sawada-san did not know.

"Keep your chin up, Hana," he used to tell her that every time she lost a sparring session. "You can't throw any punches if you don't know where you're throwing them."

* * *

Morinozuka-san was surprised to see the young Sawada at his doorstep with the elder. Her hair was neatly tucked away in a bun. Her eyes had lost the glimmer that he remembered her by, but a small smile sat on her mauve lips. The granddaughter bowed deeply.

"Morinozuka-san," her gentle voice carried over to his ears. "I apologize for not coming earlier." She kept her head down in apology and out of respect. Her grandfather patted her back, letting his granddaughter stand erect again.

"Please, like the goon ever missed you."  
"Ojii-san," Hana quietly scolded.

"Hana, how you've grown. It is good to see you again." His gaze turned to Sawada-san. "I wish I could say the same about your grandfather."

"Shut up, you still owe me 10 000 yen," the elder grumbled. "Are you going to let us in or what?"

Morinozuka-san cleared the doorway to let his guests in. Hana followed closely behind her grandfather, her steps light and quick. Just like the way she fought on the mat. Sawada-san led her to their regular set-up, a chess board on a table in the tatami room. The elders sat across from each other, with Hana quickly finding the kitchen. It wasn't her first time in the Morinozuka residence. She had been here years ago, as a young girl.

"I'll go make some tea." It was a regular routine. Making tea, and then serving it to her elders. She emerged from the kitchen with a tea set and freshly brewed tea to serve.

Morinozuka-san watched as she poured the tea, her back poised in great posture. Her fingers were thin as they gripped the handle of the pot, she kept her head down. Her eyes were lined sharply with a dark stroke of black coupled with her long eyelashes that bounced each time she blinked. Her sharp collarbones were exposed from grey jumper, her legs were hugged by skin-tight athletic leggings. Hana had grown into a beautiful young woman, not that she didn't have defining features for a model already. She carried herself with more elegance than he remembered. She was calmer. She exuded more wisdom.

Or if anything, more wisdom than her goddamn grandfather.

The elders sipped their tea quietly before beginning their game.

Hana watched in silence, noting the way the elders played. She wasn't entirely familiar with the rules, though she picked up on the play of the game rather quickly after watching a few rounds. They played best out of 7. It was going to be a long afternoon, Hana realized.

Sawada-san noticed his granddaughter raising an eyebrow at one of his opponent's moves. This was the fourth round. He looked to her. She stared back.

"Well?"  
"I can't help you," Hana rolled her eyes.

"Your strategy might be pathetic, but at least you raised an honourable granddaughter," Morinozuka-san grinned.  
"Hana," her grandfather scolded. "I didn't raise you to turn your back on the m—"

The granddaughter shook her head and picked up the tea set. She declared that she was going to make more tea and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Just you wait, Hana. Just you wait until we get to the dojo tomorrow," he threatened. Sawada-san was prepared to make her work extra hard. He turned back to the board and had to admit that he was pretty stuck in the game. There was not a move that wouldn't cause him to lose pieces.

The door rattled and shifted open to distract the elders from their game. Takashi had come back from class and found the elders playing chess, as usual. He bowed deeply and greeted the two.

"Takashi, my boy," Sawada-san gestured him over. "Come look at the board." The young man did as told and peered over. He tilted his head for a moment before moving a piece for Sawada-san. Hana opened the kitchen door with the tea set in her hands. The party looked at the young woman who stood there, surprised at the presence of Takashi.

"Did you just make a move for Ojii-san?" No greeting. She called him out, just as she saw it.

Takashi nodded.

"No," Hana ordered him to step away from the board. "Don't interfere. If he's going to win, let him win by his own accord."

Takashi blinked and did what was asked. He watched as Hana served tea, still trying to process the fact that she was in his home. She sent him a text a few days ago telling him that she landed in Tokyo. Though after that, Takashi assumed she was just settling into the city and getting ready for work.

Morinozuka-san observed the way his grandson looked at Hana. He was always the gentle one, though he looked at the young woman with such fragility, like she was the most precious thing he had ever seen. He could see the way his grandson's eyes melted at her small smile. Whether she was smiling because she could see the way he looked at her, he didn't know.

There was no way he could deny that there a force that drew them together.

"Why don't you two kids scurry off somewhere so we can play in peace?" Morinozuka-san spoke up after the tea was served. The elders immediately saw the two grandchildren lock eyes, hesitantly nodding at the suggestion.

Takashi walked over and offered his hand to Hana, to which she gladly took to raise herself up. The two bowed again towards the elders before leaving them.

"Alright. 10 000 yen," Morinozuka-san rolled his eyes. He refused to pay up before seeing the two grandchildren together with his own eyes.

"Who's the real winner here, buddy?" Sawada-san smirked, waiting for his friend's next move.

* * *

"I didn't know you still lived with Morinozuka-san," Hana admitted. She would have texted him about visiting had she known. She was under the assumption that he had moved out, but mostly because she had moved so much abroad that her mind jumped to the conclusion that all people her age lived on their own.

He led her to his study room. The walls were lined with shelves, with the exception of the window. His desk was adjacent to the source of natural light. He kept his desk neat and clear of any unnecessary documents. The rest of the room was empty. Takashi spent most of his time here now, reading and writing papers.

"It's close to school," Mori reasoned. "I can take care of both elders."

Hana nodded. That was true. "Thank you. I don't think I can thank you enough. This visit was long overdue."

Takashi shrugged. He didn't mind. He reached up to gather a loose strand of her hair that fell out of her bun to place behind her ear, trying to ease her guilt. He was so comfortably close to her that she naturally let her arms gather at his waist.

"How was your day, Takashi?" She looked up at him. He was a whole head taller than her. Takashi leaned his back on his bookshelf in his study, welcoming her in his arms.

"It was good," he answered. He liked this. His heart skipped a beat when she smiled up at him. Suddenly, he was imagining her greeting him after work every day. That was the dream.  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah."

She didn't pry. Good was enough for her.

"Better when I saw you," Takashi added.  
She laughed. "Me too." He smiled.

She was a good surprise. He had a regular day. Nothing too exciting, but he wasn't about to complain. He caught the train to campus. Gave one lecture. Went to his shift at the library. Came home and found her. What more could he ask for? He was a simple man.

"You?" he asked.  
"My day?" Hana clarified. He nodded. She took a deep breath and relaxed.

"It was fine. Ojii-san annihilated me at the dojo this morning so my entire body is in pain. But then I came and saw you helping Ojii-san cheat."  
"Sorry," he grinned.  
"It's fine. He was probably going to lose without you anyway," she said while shaking her head.

He let her rest her head on his chest for a bit. She missed him. Hana never quite understood why people craved for physical affection, but she did now.

"Your birthday is tomorrow," she whispered. "What would you like to do?"  
"This is nice." His chin rested comfortably on her head. Her hair was still a little damp from her morning shower, but the scent of her hair made him feel euphoric. Takashi had her tucked into him, her arms snaked around his own body.  
"All day?" she teased. "That's a little boring, don't you think?"  
"That's okay."

She pulled away and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Are you sure? You don't want to go out, or anything? We can go see the cherry blossoms."

"If you want," Takashi was open to anything, really.  
"No, what do _you_ want?" Hana shook her head. He was missing the point and she couldn't quite figure out whether or not he was serious about it. "If you say _you_ , I won't take that for an answer."

He chuckled. She read his mind. He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her close again.

"It's going to rain tomorrow," he told her. It probably wasn't going to be a good day to walk in the park for cherry blossoms.  
"We can spend the day inside. Watch movies. Make food. I don't know. How do normal people go on dates?"

They both laughed. Like hell if they knew.

"Do you want cake?" Hana asked. "Maybe Honey can come around too." She looked at up him with a smile. She was thoughtful enough to remember his cousin. Hana knew that Takashi was never entirely hers to keep, and likewise, Takashi knew that Hana was not his to keep either. She had duties to fulfill, and he had traditions to follow.

But they lived in a world where traditions were broken and duties were no longer abided. Things were changing albeit slowly.

Takashi nodded at the suggestion. "We'll see if Honey comes around."

"What do we do while I wait for my grandfather to lose?"  
"Have more faith," Mori assured. "He'll do just fine."

* * *

"Honestly, the kid just needs to step up and marry my granddaughter. Your move," Sawada-san placed his piece on the board.

"10 000 yen that they'll marry in three years," Morinozuka-san made a move, changing his bet from years ago. "Checkmate, sucker."

"Not yet," Sawada-san evaded the attack and managed to annihilate a piece of his enemy. "I give it five." He had to adjust his bet too, it was only fair. The grandchildren were finally close by that the grandparents could keep an eye on them. The stakes were higher now that their pride was on the line again.

"Five? Will we even be alive to see great-grandchildren?" He groaned at the thought, but also at the realization that he was trapped in the game. It was round 6 and Sawada had just managed to even out the score.

"Six years until our first great-grandchild arrives."  
"That's three years too long."  
"Three years? You want your kid to knock mine up before they marry?! Have som—"

The doors slid open to reveal their grandchildren unimpressed with the overheard conversation. The two gave each other a look and decided to not bring up anything to make the situation more awkward than it already was.

"What's the score?" Hana cleared up the deafening silence.

"3-3," Sawada-san cleared his throat. "I just beat this goon."

"Did you cheat?" The granddaughter jokingly accused.  
"How dare you think your old man would cheat, have you n—" The elder cut himself off, grumbling at how his granddaughter had no respect.

Takashi quietly took the tea set and made his way over to the kitchen. They were out of tea. Hana rolled her eyes and followed in suit, closing the door.

"You think they heard?"  
"Just shut up and play."

* * *

"That's a lot of pressure," Hana grumbled as they waited for the kettle to boil. They most definitely overheard the betting going on behind their back. "Marriage and… oh god, kids."

Takashi shook his head. "They're kidding." He patted her on the back, telling her not to worry about it.

"I'm not ready to settle down, Takashi," she whispered.  
"I know," he smiled. He wasn't going to ask her to.  
"I mean," she shook her head, afraid that he got the wrong idea. "Not that I wouldn't settle with you, just uh, not now? Let me sort things out with—"

"I understand." His low baritone voice was calm and steady. No falters, not a single hint of doubt that she could detect.

"How did I get so lucky with you?" she asked herself. Hana reached over to peck him on the lips.

Takashi smirked. "Who?" He looked around jokingly.

She kissed him again, deeper this time. Making sure he knew that she was talking about him, and only him. As if that wasn't enough, she whispered into his ear.

"You. Don't forget that," Hana said it like it was command.  
"I'll try," he answered, keeping her by the waist. They still had a few minutes to go until the kettle was ready.

"You're going to make it very hard for me to leave," she frowned. He lived only a block away. The only thing was just the park that separated the two homes, and the dojo was of equal distance. "And to think I told Ojii-san I wouldn't be staying at his place for long."  
"Then don't," Takashi offered. He definitely wasn't going to complain about their close proximity. "Stay."

"I want to," Hana murmured. "I want to stay. Do you think he'd actually grow annoyed by me for living at his place?"  
"No."  
"Is this true or do you just want me close by?"  
"Both."

She grinned. "How do you always know what to say?"  
"I don't," Takashi admitted. He was honest in his answers, he was sincere in his words. What more could he possibly offer? She laughed and turned to the kettle. They were here to make tea, after all.

* * *

"You hear that?" Morinozuka-san looked up from the chess board.  
"What?" The other elder didn't hear a thing.  
"Shut up, they're talking."  
"Who?"

 _"…and to think I told Ojii-san I wouldn't be staying at his place for long."_  
 _"Then don't. Stay."_

Sawada-san pointed to his friend. "Listen, if your kid keeps on sweet-talking my granddaughter like that—"  
"—It's not a bad idea," Morinozuka-san reasoned. "They can spar together."  
"Hana has a busy career and doesn't have the time to continuously kick your kid's ass –"  
"—Shhh, let me listen."

There was only silence.

They missed the opportunity.

"God damn it. You and your blabbering mouth, Sawada," the elder huffed.  
"You only want them together so you can win the damn bet!" Sawada crossed his arms.  
"As if you don't want them together either, you're the one who started these bets."  
"We started betting long before—"

The grandchildren stepped out with the steeped tea. Hana carried the tray and walked over to the elders.

"What bet?" Hana played dumb.

"On who would win today, right? Sucks for you, you ol' goon because you just lost," Hana's grandfather was quick to cover.  
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Lunch is on me."

Hana looked up to Takashi, as if to ask when they started going on lunch dates. Evidently their grandfathers had nothing else to do but to pass time together and squabble about pointless things. Takashi only shook his head. He didn't know about this arrangement, either.

The granddaughter continued pouring tea.

"So… you two," Morinozuka-san cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea. "You two uh, you two… kids."

The atmosphere got sufficiently awkward.

"What he means to say is, what are you two doing?" Sawada-san looked at the grandchildren who only stared at each other.

"What do you mean?" Hana pursed her lips. Was this a good strategy to play? Acting dumb? She had no clue but evidently Takashi wasn't offering up any sort of explanation.

"Yeah, what do you mean?" Sawada-san turned towards Morinozuka-san for an answer. He tried diffusing the awkwardness but it was his friend's fault for bringing it all up.

"Are you kids… uh, what do they call it nowadays…?"  
"We're together," Mori cut in. His voice was even, his expression neutral. Hana blinked at his straightforwardness. They had to work as a team, not as opponents. She nodded.  
"It's true."

The elders nodded at each other, acknowledging the elephant in the room. They didn't look particularly displeased, though given that standard it was evident that the two old men approved of this arrangement.

The two sipped their tea with a small smile.

"We did good."

* * *

 **A/N:** Figured it was time to have Hiro come around again and of course, the elders being on board. This story was always intended to be short but I guess it kind of snowballed into something much bigger. By June, it'll be a year since I've begun this story. As usual, I thank you all for your patience. Writing comes slow these days because life seems to get in the way. But nonetheless, your thoughts are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Hana woke up bright and early out of habit. She swept the floors, gave the whole house a good scrub before her grandfather woke up. The elder found his granddaughter in the kitchen in the morning, letting the soup boil away.

"What are you doing?"  
"Making seaweed soup," Hana answered nonchalantly. "Happy birthday, Ojii-san."  
"Don't remind me," he grumbled. He was old and he knew it.

Hana served her grandfather a traditional breakfast. Hana made sure Kaina had her share of food as well, before settling down on her knees to eat with her grandfather. They ate in silence, as per usual.

"Morinozuka owes me a birthday lunch."  
"Uh huh," Hana rolled her eyes. "We'll make our way over after our time at the dojo," she assured, even though every part of her body ached. The physical pain was a good distraction to what went on at the back of her mind when it came to the company weighing on her shoulders.  
"Not today, Hana. Your muscles need to rest." The grandfather shook his head, knowing fully well that overworking your body only led to injury.

Hana was not going to argue with that.

"You don't need me to train you anymore, Hana. I'm too old to be yelling at you."

Hana shrugged. "How else would you pass time?"  
"I was doing very well without you, you know. Kaina is enough to deal with already and I have to clean the house on my own, do the gardening, and beat Morinozuka at everything I do," he listed.  
"I can clean the house so you can focus on beating your arch nemesis," Hana offered with a smile. "Then you can give your back a break."

"My back is fine," he grumbled. Hana noticed her grandfather patting his lower back more often. Sawada-san also made an effort to stretch out his back so that he would not lose mobility in his muscles. Old age finally began taking a toll.

"Morinozuka promised me lunch, so I'll head over at 11." It was going to be his birthday lunch. The old friends had a tradition to celebrate each other's birthdays over the past few decades. Regardless of whether or not they won a bet, the two would find time together.

Hana nodded and went off to take a shower to loosen her sore muscles from the day before. A few moments later, Sawada-san found his granddaughter placing eyeshadow on her eyelids, before lining them carefully with a brush.

"Oi, who do you have to impress with all of that caked on your face?" the grandfather stuck his head through the door.  
"You, of course," Hana answered without batting an eye. She was in the midst of putting on mascara. Her lustrous hair was curled loosely as it fell onto her shoulders effortlessly.

"Don't get snarky with your elder."  
"You know very well who I'm trying to impress," the granddaughter chuckled.  
"Listen, you don't need to do all of this for the kid – he should already be smitten by you."  
"Says who?" She reached over to the compact with her blush. Hana knew very well that making herself look pretty was not just for a boy. But Takashi had seen her sweaty and exhausted, with no makeup and horrendous eye bags more than enough times. For today, Hana chose to look presentable for herself and for him.

"Well, if he isn't, you can kick his ass."  
"Uh huh," Hana skeptically replied. "I'm not that cruel."  
"If you won't, I will."  
"Don't," Hana warned. "It's enough with you two having bets on us."

The elder perked up.

"Say, about those bets… you need to make sure that I win becau—"

Hana glared at her grandfather and threw the brush she was using. The elder caught it in one swift motion. He might have been old, but his reflexes were still on point. He sighed and grumbled to himself.

"Jeez, is it so bad to let me gloat in his face for the rest of my life?"  
"Is it so bad for you two to not meddle in my relationship with him?" Hana begged. The elder returned the brush to makeup bag and watched his granddaughter at work. She lined her lips with a subdued pink, almost a mauve colour. She paid no attention to the elder.

"Does he make you happy?" the grandfather leaned against her desk, refusing to make eye contact. His tone changed.  
"Yes," Hana answered without hesitation in the same serious tone.  
"What are you going to do about the Ootori kid?"

Morinozukas were honourable people, but they were also heavily traditional. Sawada knew that this did not look good on her granddaughter. A woman who was meant to be engaged to someone else should have no relations with the eldest Morinozuka child.

The granddaughter sighed. "I don't know yet." It wasn't like their engagement was official. It was just a tentative agreement between two families for now. The Ootori was a great candidate to any family. And for Hana, she began looking like a good prospect for the Ootoris after being named heiress to the corporation. She was educated. She had experience, albeit very little, in the business industry. But most of all, she was _pretty_. That was the defining factor, because good-looking heirs were especially important. Hana knew better than to stay angry at the thought.  
"Does he know?"  
"Of course he knows. I wouldn't lie."

Hana paused, thinking about Mori's own family. "Does Morinozuka-san know?"  
Her grandfather shrugged. "Not from what I can tell."  
"Do you… think he would disapprove?" her voice lowered. Her throat suddenly closed at the thought. They had spent so much time apart, their relationship had barely began. Hana was in too deep to even think of ending something that she didn't know she craved. But the guilt grew within the pit of her stomach.

Sawada-san sighed.

"He treats you like his own granddaughter."  
"Out of respect for you," Hana pointed out.

The elder cackled. "Yeah, like he has any respect for me."

The grandfather placed a hand on his granddaughter's shoulder.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you, Hana. The old man will come around to it, if push comes to shove."

* * *

Hana dropped off her grandfather at the Morinozuka residence, where Takashi waited for her at his doorstep.

His eyes perked up at the sight of her. She wore a leather jacket that paired with a long white v-neck t-shirt. Her dark blue jeans were finished off with a pair of black suede pumps. Hana's neck was adorned by a simple long silver chain, her high heels made a distinctive sound that followed her everywhere, almost to announce her presence. Her ponytail swung from side to side, the curls of her hair bouncing to each rhythmic step.

She smiled at him.

That was enough for his breath to hitch. Immediately he bowed out of respect for Sawada-san. The elder patted his shoulder and let himself inside the home, leaving the youngsters alone.

"Happy birthday, Takashi," she greeted when he lifted himself up. He could only smile back at her.

It wasn't that he hadn't seen her like this before. Makeup and all. Her eyes beautifully accentuated with sharp strokes along the lash lines, her lips filled to perfection with her complexion flawless. Takashi was not naïve enough to believe that she looked like this all the time. He'd seen her in all her forms.

But this was still _her._ And for some reason, he couldn't believe that he had someone like that. That he was even _allowed_ to call her his.

"Are we meeting with Honey today?" she took him out of his thoughts.  
Takashi nodded, offering to take her hand to lead the way. Her nails were a grey-lilac, her fingers cold from the wind that had been building up over the morning. The forecast called for thunderstorms later in the afternoon.

She let him walk her to Honey's favourite café. It was a few blocks away and Mori snuck a glance at Hana. The clicking of her heels were the only thing that filled their comfortable silence.

"Is there something wrong?" Hana asked, after catching him sneaking more than one glance over the past few minutes.  
"Are you okay?" he asked, with genuine concern in his voice.  
"Of course," she answered cheerily. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Your shoes." It was quite a walk and Mori could only imagine the discomfort she was in for having to walk so far. Takashi almost offered to carry her before she laughed.

"You seem to forget I used to be a model," she grinned. "Besides, I'm almost your height now. It's nice seeing things from up here."

Hana snuck a kiss on his cheek. "I don't have to stretch to do that, either." Takashi couldn't help but to grin. His mouth was permanently curved upwards. He wouldn't mind her in heels, if she insisted. He held her by the waist and guided her forward along with him.

"I might be slow, though," Hana warned. There was no way she could sprint in these 5 inch heels. It wasn't like she was planning on running away from him, either.

Mori shrugged. He didn't mind taking the extra time, especially with her.

"Ojii-san was being silly this morning," Hana mentioned off-hand.  
"Hm?" Takashi made a noise, almost to let her know that he was listening and ushered her to go on.  
"He asked who I had to impress when he saw me putting on make-up," she laughed. "Since when did he ever care?"

The man chuckled to himself. "I'm impressed," he quietly admitted. "I'm always impressed." He kissed her on the temple to assure her that he meant it.  
"Even if I'm gross and sweaty from climbing a mountain?" Hana joked. He'd seen her at her worst. What did she have to lose?

Takashi didn't mind that one bit. He'd seen her sweaty and exhausted. He'd seen her cry. He'd seen quite a range of her. He'd seen her vulnerable because she let him. And that in itself, was more of an accomplishment than any other. A privilege he earned.

"Always," he repeated.

"Just so you know," Hana whispered. "I'm also always impressed."  
He looked at her skeptically. She returned the same expression.

"Don't tell me no one has ever told you how attractive you were. You were part of the Host Club!" Hiro knew he was attractive. The twins most definitely knew it. Tamaki flaunted it. Kyouya was surely not oblivious to the advantages he held.  
"For Honey," Mori explained.  
"So this _whole_ time, it never occurred to you that you were the least bit attractive?"  
Takashi shrugged.

"Oh my goodness," Hana laughed. "How?"  
"Do you think I'm attractive?" he asked her in his deep baritone voice while tilting his head at her. It was a legitimate question. From what Hana could tell, he wasn't asking for an ego boost. He was genuinely asking.  
"Of course," she answered. "How could I not?"  
"Because you're… you're beautiful."

Hana blinked. He was so sincere in the way he told her, like she was the most precious thing. As if she'd never heard it before. As if he believed that she didn't know it herself. It gave her butterflies. She kissed him sweetly on the lips because she had no words to express how wonderful he made her feel inside. How clueless he seemed about his own self, Hana wondered what else he hadn't realized.

He welcomed her affection, in the middle of the park. It was an overcast day, and luckily very few people were in the park. They just so happened to be hidden behind a cherry blossom tree, having their own moment in the midst of their journey to a café.

"Do people ever tell you how intelligent you are?"  
Takashi shook his head, wondering where the sudden change of topic came from. He looked into her large doe eyes, her curiosity brimming. She looked astonished.  
"How incredibly thoughtful and sweet you are? Because if they don't, _I_ will. Takashi, you are _so_ much more than you think."

Takashi was unsure what to say. She had her arms around her neck, her face only inches from his. She laughed at the expression on his face.

"You look so clueless – I mean, this can't be the first time someone has told you what you are."

He only stared at her with a half-smile, still at a loss for words. Though this was him most of the time, speechless at the sight of her.

"You're loyal and gentle. You're strong and kind. You're _everything_ I love."

Those words rolled off the tip of her tongue and Hana couldn't take it back. She wasn't going to take it back. She meant it. She honoured her words, her promises. She was raised like that.

Hana voiced his emotions into eloquent sentences. Her eyes faltered at a split second, where she was surprised at the words that had spilled out of herself. But then they reverted back to the calm brown eyes, the soft ones that grew to accept the words that she had spoken because they were nothing more than the truth.

Takashi held her tighter by the waist, pulling her body into his.

"You are too," he whispered.

* * *

Honey was surprised at the guest. He wasn't expecting anyone besides his cousin. Honey felt embarrassed that he hadn't ordered something for Hana who showed up by his side. They were certainly an interesting fit.

Of course, Honey recognized the former model from years ago. Though oddly enough, Honey wondered why he never paired them together as one. She was a former model, and she had likely graduated from Stern by now. Honey, unfortunately, did not know her as well as he had hoped.

She bowed her head slightly as a greeting, her eyes lowered as an apology for intruding when she noticed Honey's surprised expression. Did Mori not tell his cousin that she was coming along?

"Hi Hana," Honey politely greeted the unfamiliar figure. He turned to his cousin. "Happy birthday, Takashi!"

Takashi nodded and took a seat. Hana followed in suit. There were two plates of cake on the table and Hana immediately realized that it wasn't a good idea for her to have come along.

"Let me order somet—"  
"—No no, I'm sorry for intruding. I um, I hope this isn't uncomfortable," the young woman insisted.

Honey relented and gave her the menu instead. The waitress promptly came at the wave of Honey and she settled upon a latte. It was a little awkward, and Takashi's quiet nature certainly did not help. But luckily, Hana was quick mend the silence and Honey was eager to learn more about the young woman.

"How have you been?" she asked. It had been years since they had last seen each other and neither of them had the least bit of a clue about each other.

"I've been working for a confectionary company," Honey answered. "But I'm looking to branch off into my own café once I can get enough capital."

"Wow, that's incredible," Hana was genuinely curious about Honey's work. The little cousin went off on a tangent about his work as a process engineer, though most of the time he spent his days tasting the final products of the manufacturer to ensure the utmost quality for the consumers. Takashi listened intently to his cousin. Honey had explained this before to him, but it was Hana who took the time to genuinely engage and react to his work with vigorous interest.

Honey appreciated it. It was nice talking her. She was sweet, and kind. Just like Honey had remembered her from Ouran.

"How did you two meet?" Honey asked. "Again, I mean." He assumed that they must have met the first time when Hiro introduced Hana to the Host Club.  
"We're childhood friends," Hana answered. "We've known each other for… more than a decade," Hana roughly calculated 15 years.

Honey tilted his head in confusion. If they were childhood friends, why didn't they know each other? Honey and Takashi were nearly inseparable during their childhood.

"Saturday mornings. She sparred with me," Takashi cut in. Honey never woke up before noon.

It suddenly made sense. Honey thought back to the day that she arrived at the hospital to see Hiro, how she knocked down two men at least twice her weight, completely off guard. Hana must have had some sort of training, though Honey never put together that she trained with his cousin all these years.

Hana nodded in agreement. "Yeah. He annihilated me most of the time."  
Takashi shook his head. "You were fast and unpredictable."

"Do you two still spar?"  
They both shook their heads.

"Takashi took care of my grandfather while I was abroad," Hana explained. "He's… very kind and patient." The man looked down to his cake, pretending to be cool about it. Honey grinned and agreed with the young woman.

"You are too, Hana," Honey could tell that she had a warming presence. One that never intended to harm, unless necessary. She was a good fit for his cousin, and Honey could not be happier for him. There was something different about his cousin this time around. Takashi seemed more present, attune to his surroundings. Not lost in his thoughts, as he had been over the past few years. His shell had been broken. Whether it was because of Hana, or if it was because of his own doing – his cousin finally seemed to be living happier.

"I try," she murmured, Hana had a look of guilt on her face before being replaced with a small reassuring smile at Takashi. She took a sip of her latte before Takashi excused himself to go to the washroom. Honey and Hana now sat in a comfortable silence, a much better atmosphere than how they had started.

"You look like you're afraid," Honey spoke up. She looked up from her cup and tried reading Honey's expression.

"He's the most loyal man I know," the cousin reassured. "Takashi would have followed me to the ends of the earth had I not told him to go. So whatever you're afraid of, don't be. He'll follow you to hell and back, without a doubt. He won't leave you."

Hana shook her head. "I can't ask that of him. I don't want him to follow me. I want him to stay at his own will."

Honey let those words sink in. _I don't want him to follow me. I want him to stay at his own will._

Hana worded it better than he had. Takashi was bound to Honey by tradition, and Honey gave him the freedom to live as he pleased. Honey could tell that Takashi was lost, and as his cousin, he was torn between letting him go and letting him stay. What purpose would he serve, if he had any at all besides tradition? It did not feel right to let him stay by his side.

But Hana refused to trap him. Whether it was intentional or otherwise, a part of Honey was relieved to hear those words. Hana wanted to preserve his freedom, and to earn his loyalty. Loyalty was not asked for on a whim, it was given to those who deserved it.

The cousin nodded in agreement. He was glad to have met Hana again. She had grown to be even wiser than her years, humble and eloquent in her thoughts. Takashi came back to the table to a comfortable silence. Honey finished off his slice of strawberry cake and Hana took the last sip of her latte.

Honey decided that it was a good time to part ways, giving Takashi a big hug before reaching over to Hana as well.

Hana waved and reciprocated the goodbye while Takashi sat comfortably – surprised at how affectionate his cousin had become over the course of an hour with Hana.

"Take care, you two!"  
"Bye, Honey!" Hana called out to the door.

"He's so lovely," she said, after Honey had left them alone. "His happiness is contagious, don't you think?"  
Takashi made a noise of affirmation. "He likes you." Honey wouldn't have hugged her if he didn't like the woman. Hana smiled.  
"I sure hope he does. That's two people that I've won over." Honey and his grandfather were the two that Hana counted. She wondered if or when it would be time to meet his parents. Hana realized that Takashi never spoke about them.  
"Three," Takashi corrected, cutting into her thoughts. "You've won me over, too."

* * *

It was the calm before the storm while they walked back to Morinozuka-san's place, their fingers intertwined.

"You're okay?" Takashi asked again. It was only her heels that filled in the silence while they walked back. He was careful to walk at her own pace, so that her feet wouldn't tire out.  
"Hm?" she turned her head to look at him. He was staring at the ground.  
"Shoes," he pointed with his free hand. The dark suede pumps were simple in the design, nothing flashy just black to match with her dark washed skinny jeans.

"I'm fine," Hana chuckled. "I've been through worse, Takashi. I've broken into these heels long ago."  
"Broken?" It was jargon to a man who never had to deal with shoes.  
"They're comfortable now," the woman patted his shoulder and urged him to keep walking. She didn't want to get caught in the rain that threatened to pour down from the clouds at any second. Hana quickened her pace when droplets of rain began pattering on her jacket. She led him to a bus shelter, a temporary solution as they let the storm pass.

In a matter of minutes, the storm became an outpour of torrential rain. The two only sat on the seats, quietly letting the breeze pass through the open door.

"You don't talk about your parents," Hana commented. She let the rain fill in the silence. She let him ponder before she spoke again. "I've won over two, I mean three. Three people. I just need to know if I need to win over any more," she explained.

Takashi shrugged. "My father passed away when I was young in a car accident. I don't remember him. I was raised by Honey's family, while my mother ventured into real estate."

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I didn't… mean to – I didn't know."  
"It's fine," Takashi squeezed her hand. He grew up with his cousin and were attached at the hip until adulthood. He never thought of his family as incomplete. They were rich for a variety of reasons, but their parents were generally real estate developers. Rumours of the families having ties to the yakuza was not exactly a lie, as the property they held just happened to be in yakuza territory. But nonetheless, tradition was still upheld. Mori lived to serve Honey for generations and his mother came around every so often if she wasn't busy managing her own business.

"You'll meet her one day," he promised. "She'll like you."  
"You're biased," Hana pointed out. "But, we'll see. I hope she likes me."

Takashi watched Hana exhale, her shoulders lowering while she closed her eyes. She was anxious. She was trying to calm down. There were things that she wasn't sharing with him, and Takashi wasn't about to pry. She would tell him whenever she was ready.

Hana rested her head on his shoulder as she watched the raindrops fall. He kissed her on the forehead, bringing her closer to him by the waist.

"You sure you're alright?"  
"My feet are fine," Hana laughed out loud. Takashi wasn't asking about her shoes this time, but he figured that if it made her laugh, it was enough.

* * *

Hana was unsure what to expect at her first day of work. Sawada-san got up early and made his granddaughter a hearty breakfast and packed her lunch. The granddaughter walked out of her room dressed in business attire, her hair up, and her makeup done to perfection.

"Ojii-san, I'm not a child. You don't have to pack me lunch."  
"Let me do whatever the hell I want," the elder snapped and handed over the chopsticks for his granddaughter to use. "Now remember, if anyone give you shit—"  
"—No one's going to give me shit," Hana grumbled.  
"Yeah, but _if_ they do—"  
"—I'll take care of it," the woman rolled her eyes. "With my _words_. Not my fist. I don't want to get in trouble with human resources…"  
"What… _human_ resources?" the elder snarled. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

Hana sighed and downed her tea. "I have to go. I'll be home at 6." She grabbed her files in one hand and her handbag in another before heading out the door.

She dressed plainly, in an attempt to draw little attention to herself. Hana arrived to the company building a little before 8, an hour before regular employees to avoid the crowds on the elevator and to familiarize herself with the department. It was dreary, like an other floor. She was assigned the 50th floor, about a third of the space was deemed "hers."

It was like any other typical workplace, but without cubicles. Just rows upon rows of desks, open for discussion between the workers. It smelled like fresh copied papers, all throughout the floor. Employees were already settled, their stationary and some nick-knacks were placed on their desks. Each had an office chair neatly tucked underneath the tables, and then there was her office at the very end. Glass doors and blinds were installed for privacy, next to a conference room with a long table and a projector and screen for presentations. There was a break room adjacent to the conference room with a fridge and a couple cupboards.

Hana walked into her office and she was glad that her room had a window. She let the natural light seep through the blinds before settling at her desk. She had files of each employee under her, resumes and cover letters, previous work underneath other departments, it was essentially a history of each person.

It wasn't particularly exciting to read at 8:18 in the morning. All of these people underperformed in their previous departments. Many got the job because they had high grades straight out of their university program. Her entire department had an average age of 28. Significantly older than Hana, herself.

Hana was given no direction. No meeting with her father. Just a contract sent to her email a couple months prior, and a date to begin working at the company. It was evident she wasn't seen as anything worthwhile to the company, just given a title and used as a pawn when the timing was correct.

This was her life now.

And she didn't know how to fight it.

Hana looked at the time. It was a quarter to 9. She decided to brew a cup of tea for herself before the storm of employees were to show. Not that there were many, it was a team of 10 including herself. She kept the door open to her office, just like it had been when she walked in.

As she waited for the kettle to boil, Hana could hear voices drawing near.

"The big boss is supposed to show today."  
"Big boss? She's some former model and the daughter of the president. As if we'd have to do anything besides serve her left and right."

Hana couldn't even be offended at that statement. It was true, except for the servitude.

"Graduated from Stern or something," another voice chimed in.  
"Ha, she probably paid someone to write her exams, hey?"  
"It's what all the rich kids do abroad nowadays."

Hana almost laughed at how ridiculous that seemed. She poured the water into her mug and waited for the tea to seep while she listened into what was meant to be her entire department.

"You think she'll show up late? And you know, sit in her office and pretend to work?"  
"That's what we've been doing over the past week, and we're getting paid for it."  
"So this is it eh? Just a bunch of losers who get to be the servants to the rich heiress. Not too bad."

The heiress quietly walked out of the break room and leaned against the door frame. She put the faces to the names she saw in the file, and a total of 6 had already shown up to work five minutes ahead of 9. The coworkers huddled around a common desk, the one with the most nick-knacks, she noticed. Hana kept quiet until an employee walked through the door and noticed her there.

"S-sawada… Sawada-san," they greeted and bowed before taking a step closer to her. The mob of coworkers turned around, a look of terror plastered all over their faces before bowing as a group.

Hana kept her expression neutral with the cup in her hand. She let her heels fill in the silence as she walked towards her office.

"Department meeting by 9:30. I want everyone in the conference room."

She closed the door to her office but pulled up the blinds so she could see what the rest of the department was up to. Everyone solemnly returned to their desks, adamantly typing away on their keyboard.

What could they possibly have to do? They had no tasks, whatsoever. Not even Hana had anything to do.

She looked at the time. It was only 9:10. Two people had yet to show up to work. By 9:25, no one had gotten out of their seats into the conference room. At 9:27, Hana decided to step out of her office with her files at hand and her finished tea in another. She watched as everyone turned to look at her, curious to see what she would do.

Did they think it was some kind of game?

"You have 3 minutes before a conference with the department head. Should you all have the decency to show an ounce of respect towards me, you would all be out of your seats and in the conference room already," Hana calmly declared before going into the break room to rinse her mug.

She stepped out of the break room to find half the group inside the conference room, sitting blankly in their chairs. The other three lazily got up from their desk after Hana had given them a glare. This was most definitely the worst kind of group they could ever set her up with.

They were missing one person. But Hana had no time to wait. It was 9:30 and the rest of the group waited with baited breath, curious to see what the former-model had in store.

Hana introduced herself, like how she'd always learned to during seminars and presentations. During all those cocktail hours in university, networking sessions, she pitched herself as if she had everything to lose.

But today was different.

She didn't have the heart to pretend to be something she wasn't. After she told them her name she changed her tone.

"What's a bunch of losers like you doing here, ordered to serve the heiress from left and right?"

Some of them sunk back into their chair, ashamed that she had heard what they had said. Others were more strong headed, obviously skeptical of what Hana was capable of.

"I've read all your files. Literally, all of you are underperforming employees who somehow manag—"

Someone spoke up, daring to go up against the most powerful person in the room.

"You don't have to pretend, Sawada-san," the man shrugged. Hana looked down at her notes. His name was Tomo Yuuto. Graduated with a degree in Applied Mathematics and was 27 years old. "If you're going to come to work to yell at us then—"

"It would do you well to show some respect to your department head," the woman calmly interfered. "Yuuto-san," Hana added. She knew their names, or tried to match their face to the name as quickly as she could during the half hour that they stayed at their desks.

"Or what?" the man challenged. "You'll call your daddy to fire me?"

Hana chuckled. "I wouldn't have to call my father to have to fire you. I would do it myself."

A pale, thin figure raised his hand from the very end of the conference table.

"Actually, Human Resources can't let you do that without any reasonable explanation to fire," he meekly explained. He wore glasses and a pristine suit, his name tag around his neck in a lanyard. It was evident he was transferred from the HR department, and his name was Reito Kanata, 26 years old with a degree in computer science.

Hana stared him down and made a bluff. "Should we test that theory? I think both Yuuto-san and I are curious to find out."  
Kanata-san shook his head. He wouldn't risk it. Hana could tell he scared quite easily.

Yuuto-san quieted down and laid back in the office chair, letting Hana continue. Everyone didn't seem to care. Oh how Hana had wished she bothered to care more about her organizational behaviour class during her undergrad. But alas, she was stuck with a team who was unmotivated and had nothing to show.

And she was stuck with no experience and no direction.

She wasn't meant to lead. She couldn't even handle a few people under her wing.

"I want this entire department to put together a presentation of their previous work. Pitch me an idea. Show me what you're worth. Show me why you deserve to be here. You present on Monday. In the meantime, I want the finances of the entire company over the past five years and the successful big projects that have been launched by the end of the week."

She dismissed the team.

By noon, there were no files on her desk. She ate lunch quietly by herself in her office, and studied the resumes a little more. Two people on her team were in the accounting department. One from HR, and four from software development. The other two happened to be from marketing. She had a full stack of people under her wing and yet nothing productive whatsoever.

By Wednesday, there was still nothing on her desk. Hana had read up on the history of the company and the current projects that it was pursuing. Hana was working as hard as she could to get on the same page as the rest of the department because she knew she was lacking. After lunch, two files showed up on her desk. Quarterly reports and print-outs of what anyone could find with a simple Google search.

Hana walked out of her office.

"Who placed these on my desk?"

Two hands were raised. It was just her luck that it happened to be the accountants who placed the quarterly reports on her desk when she was out. The woman slammed the papers onto the table.

"This is unacceptable," she declared. "If I wanted to Google this company, I could have done so myself. I want numbers. I want to see where each and every cent is going, in and out of this company. You two are accountants. Do the job you were hired to do. I want a report compiled by Friday."

The rest of the team stared.

She was 23.

And she had people older than her as her employees. That very fact didn't seem right. To have someone younger than you give you commands at work was ridiculous in a society that respected elders without a question. Hana was seen as rude and arrogant by her employees. She was not worthy of being a department head and everyone knew it.

Even Hana was aware of how underqualified she was to be yelling at her employees as she returned back to her office.

* * *

There were times that Mori had late nights at the office, marking papers or quizzes for his class. Mori took the time to get through half the essays for the night and planned for a lesson next week. It was nearly 10:45 PM when he got off the subway and walked back home for the night.

A figure came running towards him, sprinting at such a high speed it would've been dangerous to be in their way. Within seconds he recognized her ponytail beneath a light under the park, and she too, was quick to halt in her steps when she noticed that it was him.

Mori was in his regular work clothes, a button down dress shirt tucked into trousers and a black belt with loafers. His sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms as he carried his briefcase. Mori looked at his watch.

Hana stopped in front of him, gasping for breath. She wore her athletic leggings and a loose fitting navy tank top. She had a black headband to keep her hair in place while her hair was tied up. Hana had her hands on her knees and her back crouched while she recovered.

"You shouldn't be out," he said. It was late and the park wasn't as well lit as he liked it to be.  
"It's… just a quick run."  
"It's dangerous," Mori reasoned. "And dark."  
"I can… throw… a punch," Hana answered in between breaths.  
"Not like this," the man shook his head. Hana knew he had a point. She was in no shape to punch anyone when she was as dizzy as this. He patted her on the back, easing her to an upright position.

"I'll walk you home," he offered. She shook her head.  
"I can run home myself," Hana refused. She was capable of taking care of herself and he knew it too. But that didn't mean he didn't worry for her.

"I'll run you home," Takashi tried again.

She gave a weak smile. "You look like you've had a long day. How about I walk home with you?"  
Takashi shrugged. Just as long as she was safe, he wasn't going to complain. Hana took a deep breath and tilted her head towards the direction of his home. She was ready to go.

"Why are you coming home so late?" she asked.  
"Marking essays," he explained. Really, he could have been done by now. It had been a week since submission but he liked to take his time, reading every word and analysing thoughts proposed by his students. "It takes a while," Takashi added.

"I can imagine," Hana agreed. She could hardly make it through her readings much less have to do it for a living. "You must be a very thorough marker," she figured.  
"I try."

They let the silence sit until Takashi reached his home.

"I guess this is it," Hana sighed. She was about to bid him farewell before he caught her arm. He wasn't going to let her go home alone in the dark like this, even if she could throw a punch.  
"Let me change," Takashi said before letting go and going into the home. He came out in track pants and a tank top. He threw her a water bottle so she could rehydrate. Her previous sprint seemed to have taken a lot out of her.

Takashi waited for her to lead the way but she just stood there blankly, lost in her own thoughts before blinking and handing back his water bottle. Takashi placed it on the porch, he'll get to it when he came back.

He led the jog through their neighbourhood instead, letting her follow along in his regular route. It was about three kilometres if he trailed all the way back to his home. She carried his pace without trouble, focusing on the road ahead. Takashi snuck a couple glances at her during the jog only to find her looking troubled by something.

He decided to walk when they reached the park. It would trail to her grandfather's place. He finally spoke when he was able to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?"  
Hana took a second to respond. It was just enough hesitation for him to notice. "Nothing."

He stopped and gently took her by the arm, gazing into her eyes. She looked away out of guilt. He knew that she was lying and she couldn't bring to tell him about her silly problems at work. She was enough of a burden already.

"Tell me," Takashi murmured, grazing his thumb over the skin of her arms. It was comforting.  
"It's…" Hana took a deep breath and exhaled. "Just work."

She wasn't lying, but Hana could tell that Takashi had a long day too. What kind of person would she be to make him listen to her in the middle of the night? She rested her head on his chest, pulling him close. He tucked her into his neck, letting her stay in this position for just a while longer.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's not that I don't want to tell you. But you've had a long day. I've had a long day. We could both just use a break."  
"It's okay," he patted her back. "It's the weekend tomorrow."  
"Yay," Hana cheered sarcastically. "I have reports to review."  
"I have essays to mark," Takashi chimed in.

She looked up at him and grinned. "Sounds like something we could do together while our grandparents play chess."

He nodded in agreement before walking her home to her doorstep.

She kissed him on the cheek and bid him goodbye. His fingers lingered with her own and she smiled. He was her rock, his loyalty and love was unwavering. Hana wondered if he knew how much she loved him.

But all she could give was a smile and a wave.

Tomorrow was a new day.

* * *

 **A/N:** I thought I'd be able to update more often when the summer came along but evidently, I was wrong. This story reached its one year anniversary a few weeks ago and it's definitely much longer than I had ever intended it to be. Thank you all for sticking by for so long - I definitely appreciate your support, and of course, your patience. Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you all think. (P.S. Some thoughts are posted over on my tumblr if you are so inclined to read them.)


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Their grandfathers sat across from each other while their grandchildren were in the study. It was a sunny afternoon with the window perched open to let a cool breeze through the room lined with cool bamboo mats.

"What are they even doing?" the elder grumbled. "It's been at least two hours."  
"Marking essays and reading reports," the other answered, factually.

One of the two looked up at the other skeptically.

"What?" He shot a glare at his friend.  
"You can't really think they're _just_ reading."  
"What else would they be doing?"

They paused for a second and shared a look of concern.

Then they both got up and swung open the door to the study, revealing the Hana and Mori, sitting on the floor across from one another. Mori had a clipboard resting on his knee and red pen between his fingers. He adjusted the square frames on his face as he took in the sudden ruckus. Hana leaned on the bookshelf with her own papers strewn over the floor and a highlighter in her hand. Her hair was held up by a pen and her glasses laid comfortably on the bridge of her nose.

The grandchildren blinked at the sudden outburst.

Hana cleared her throat. "Are you done your chess tournament already, Ojii-san?" Hana checked the time on her phone. They usually played for the afternoon, until 3, or even 4 if they were chatty. It was hardly after 2.

The elders stood uncomfortably and shook their head.

"We ran out of tea," Morinozuka-san explained, trying to save face.

Hana put down her highlighter and nodded, though still confused at why the elders made such a brash entrance.

"I'll go," Hana told Mori. She knew that he was engrossed by the essay he was reading and it would be unfair to interrupt his train of thought even further than it already had been. She swiftly got up and walked past the elders, bowing before she left their presence. The grandson nodded his head towards the elders before reverting back to his marking.

The elders grumbled and bickered in a low voice as they returned back to the chess board.

* * *

Hana quietly opened up the door to Mori's study when she finished with the tea. She smiled when he looked up from his paper, and he couldn't help but to grin back. It was weird how they could spend hours in silence and feel so elated by each other's presence.

She settled back down to the cool floors, picking up from where she left off. Whether she was oblivious to his stare didn't matter to him anymore. Sometimes he basked in the fact that she was with him. Just him. Sitting across the floor, choosing to spend her afternoon reading alongside him. Why?

It didn't make sense in how she settled for someone so ordinary like him.

He never once stopped appreciating each moment with her.

Hana adjusted the glasses on her face and looked up to find him staring.

"What's wrong?" she asked.  
He shook his head in response. Nothing was wrong. Everything seemed right.

"How's the marking coming along?" She was always the one that knew what to say, seguing into a natural conversation. He wasn't good at that.

"Almost there." Takashi had about five more papers to read before he was finished. "What about you?"

Hana shrugged. "I've learned all I can about the company in the week I've been working. I'm lost at what to do, honestly. Can I help you in any way?" She shifted over from her side of the floor and sat next to Takashi.

He looked around and reached over for his laptop and gave her the pile of essays that were marked. He let her input the grades into a spreadsheet, to which she happily obliged. Halfway through the essay that he was grading, Takashi looked up to Hana reading the marked essays instead. She caught his gaze and guiltily looked away, returning back to her assigned job.

"Sorry," Hana quietly apologized. "It was the highest grade. I wanted to see what it was all about."  
"It's fine if you read them." He would make the exception given that she was not a student nor was she affiliated with the university.

Hana was quick to finish inputting the grades so she could continue reading. Mori was not a lenient marker, it seemed. Many of the essays were barely of a passing grade. She made herself comfortable against his body, resting her head on his shoulder while he graded the rest of the essays. Mori welcomed the new warmth to his side.

"You should be more lenient," Hana murmured. "Their essays aren't all bad."

Mori nodded. "But they can be better."

She only shrugged. She wasn't the expert at this after all. Hana neatly piled the remaining essays into his bag before turning back to him, with her chin resting on his shoulder and her arm linked around his own. She patiently waited for him, silently reading along with him, watching as he underlined and circled key points. He was a harsh marker, but his comments were helpful and thorough. When he finished, Takashi turned over to Hana and smiled at his own accomplishment.

"Yay," she cheered before pecking him on the cheek. "You're done!"

Mori chuckled at her silliness, but welcomed her embrace.

"Thanks," he quietly mumbled. _For helping with the grades._ _For being patient. For keeping me company._  
"Don't worry about it," she answered. "It was the least I can do."

Takashi shifted his arm from her shoulder to her waist, pulling her closer. He kissed her on the temple and smiled as he watched the smile on her face grow into a shy grin.

"How's work?" Mori had been meaning to ask. It was likely the one thing that bothered her the most, giving her the most stress. He could see it in the way she acted, how she pretended that all was well when it was obvious it was not.

Hana sighed and debated whether or not it was worth telling him of her petty troubles with office politics. Probably not, to be honest.

"Not great but," she offered him a weak smile. "It'll get better, hopefully."  
"Okay." There wasn't much he could say. He wasn't sure what to say. He only held her a little tighter, and that gesture was enough for Hana to exhale. Her troubles were not gone, but the heaviness was lifted by just a little.

"I miss you," Hana mumbled. "A lot." It was a hard week of transition at work.  
"Do you?" Mori found that strange to believe. _Someone_ missed _him_ of all people.  
"I know it's… it's dumb," Hana shook her head at herself. "I just miss being with you, like an idiot who can't hold themselves together. I don't _need_ you, but I _want_ you. I just feel like I'm home with you. I can breathe again."

Mori listened to her, letting her stream of consciousness flow through his ears.

"It's weird, right? Like, who am I to even anchor you down like you're mine? That's awfully selfish. I can't do that."  
"Do you want to?"  
"No," Hana replied. "I want you to stay… at your own will."

Takashi nodded. "Alright."  
"Alright?" She was surprised at how he didn't even hesitate.  
"I will stay."

Hana shook her head. Takashi raised his eyebrows.

"You don't trust me?"

She blinked. "Of course I trust you."  
"Then I will stay."

Takashi was a simple man. His loyalty was unwavering with his promises to be kept no matter what circumstance. Hana could only feel guilt for his loyalty, how he chose to stay without her even having to convince him to. She could only ask him what he wanted from her, to make this fair at the very least.

"I just want you," he answered simply. What else could he say? What else was he deserving of?

And she could only nod.

* * *

Hana showed up to work with an unknown figure standing by the doorway to her office. The rest of the employees were trickling in, noting the unfamiliar person.

"Can I help you?" The young woman politely asked.

Hana was handed a folder with a schedule. "You are to follow what is written."  
"Pardon me," the young woman cleared her throat. "You are…?"  
"The President's Secretary, Miss."

Hana opened the folder and skimmed the contents. She promptly closed it and handed it back to the secretary.

"Tell him I won't be following this. If he wants to give me an order, he'll give it to me face-to-face."

The secretary was stunned by the refusal. Hana Sawada, the President's daughter, refusing orders? She was blunt and dare he say, rude.

"Miss," the secretary tried again. Perhaps she would listen after a bit of reasoning, he thought.  
"I will walk you to the elevator, Monaku-san," Hana offered, making note of the secretary's name. She knew every chairman's name and anyone close to her father at the executive level. The secretary was no exception, especially when they likely had valuable information on the President's plans and meetings on a daily basis.

Hana gestured her arm towards the elevator and began ushering the secretary.

"Miss Sa—"  
"Apologies for being blunt, sir. You came all the way down here to deliver these documents and yet I won't be needing them. We have a scheduled meeting beginning promptly at 9:30. Please understand that I cannot be late," Hana bowed out of respect. Her tone may have been sharp but she was not raised without class.

The stunned secretary found himself staring at the young woman who only smiled at him before the doors closed.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" The President could see his secretary from his peripheral vision with the same manila folder he had given to him just fifteen minutes prior.  
"She has a meeting, sir."  
"A meeting?" the President looked up from his desk. "What meeting?"

The secretary shook his head. "She asked that you give her her orders personally, sir."  
"Personally? What kind of – that child has no consideration the busy President, how dare that little brat think she rules the company when she has contributed nothing," the man huffed. "Call her up."

The secretary did as he was told. There was no answer.

"She must be at her meeting," he concluded.  
"Meeting? Cancel it. Go downstairs and bring her up here."

* * *

Hana ordered presentations from each person on her team the week prior. It was evident that none of them took her assignment seriously as she sat back to watch her subordinates ramble instead. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose, trying to keep her composure.

"What do you think you're all doing here?" Hana asked.

Everyone looked away, fumbling with their pens or their lanyards. No one had a purpose, but they were all getting paid regardless so – what was there to complain about?

"If you think you're here to serve me, all of you have failed immensely. With no purpose, with no direction, and somehow you are all fine with it?"

"Then what's _your_ purpose?" Yuuto-san, the most outspoken one of the entire group began the conversation, taking the bait. He was not afraid to challenge the woman. He had his own cards to play, and he already reasoned that Hana was on the exact same boat as they were in. No purpose. No plan. An empty job.

There was a glint in her eye.

"Yuuto-san, your presentation lacked an important piece of information. I was disappointed that you didn't mention the algorithm you worked on in your previous department. Why was that?"

If he wanted to hit her at her weakness, Hana was more than ready to take it on. She came in prepared. She did her homework over the weekend. Hana waited patiently for the rest of the group to begin putting in the same effort.

Yuuto-san leaned back in his chair. "Don't change the topic, Sawada-san."  
"Likewise, Yuuto-san," Hana shot back. "I am not a liar. This whole department was given to me on a whim with no purpose. I myself, have no purpose here. So I intend to create one."  
"How so?" he goaded, calling her bluff.

Hana smirked.

"With the same algorithm that was stolen from you," Hana smiled. "You've created a beast. Yet no one has been able to truly package it into a product… yet."

Yuuto-san was taken back. Few knew about his creation being stolen from him. How he was stuck at the bottom of the chain as he tried to impress his supervisor, only to be taken advantage of. His algorithm showed promise with various functions but none that could be seen as profitable, just yet. Regardless, his work was gone and stolen by his previous department. A confidentiality clause had forced him from leaving the company and taking his work elsewhere.

"They're working on it," he gritted his teeth. "They'll figure out a way to use it any day now. It's too late."

Hana shrugged. "You've only given them a piece. Not the whole puzzle. I'm not a coder, but I do have a purpose for your algorithm if you can make it happen. The whole team needs to be able to make it work. It's time that all of you put effort into—"

The speech was interrupted by a knock on the conference room door. Monaku-san let himself into the room.

"Miss, the President is asking for you."  
"Monaku-san, is it not evident that I am in a meeting?" Hana turned to the secretary and gave him a long, piercing stare.

All of the employees were gathered at the long table, staring at the intruder and watching the events unfold. The secretary had come to the realization that he had placed himself in quite a compromising position, looking as the one at definite fault.

"I apologize, Miss Sawada. But the President is asking for you."  
"The President is a busy man with no time to spend with a mere director like me," Hana was quick on her feet. She had to be assertive, but fair. She was humble and she knew her place.

"The President is indeed busy, but—" A phone rang. The secretary was quick to pick it up.

"Ah, Sir. Yes. I am here. She's um, she—"  
"She'll be coming up in fifteen minutes," Hana finished the sentence for him. Watching the man squirm for an answer did not bring her any pleasure. She dismissed the secretary and asked for him to wait while she finished up the meeting.

Hana turned to her employees.

"Think about what I said. It's time you all get paid to do the job that you were hired for. And you," Hana turned to the troublemaker who had his arms crossed. "You deserve the credit in the work you create. Let's talk later about it."

"Tch," the man scoffed. "What do you know about coding?"

Hana threw him her resume and stood up. She wasn't a coder, nor was she anything near one. But she knew finance. She knew stocks. She knew data when she saw it. She was here to prove that she was qualified. Or at the very least, on the same level as the rest of the team.

"I have a vision. I need you to make it work. All of you," Hana added. "Excuse me. I have another meeting to get to."

* * *

Hana stood outside of the President's office for a minute to gather her wits. Office politics was enough for her brain to get rattled but dealing with the President seemed to be a new level of mental games.

"Miss, he's ready for you," the Secretary gestured towards the door handle for her to open.  
"I'm aware," Hana answered. "Thank you."

She opened the door and let the heels of her shoes announce her presence. She hadn't seen the man in years, and he had aged immensely. His grey hair became more prominent while the wrinkles on his forehead became much more defined as he stared her down.

"You aren't even going to greet your father? Have you no respect?" He roared. The secretary took his leave at the sudden outburst. The tension in the room was unbearable. It was a conversation between father and daughter that an outsider should not be a part of.  
"Good morning, sir," Hana did as told. But she was not about to utter the word father. She did not break her line of sight. This was her own fight.

"Who do you think you are? Are you a child? Needing a parent to tell them what to do?"

Hana stood quietly, waiting for the man to finish his rant.

"Recklessly refusing to follow schedules? Do you think this job is all for fun and games? With your silly degree suddenly qualifying you to do what you want?"

Hana was prepared to take these insults with her fists clenched.

"I have two degrees, sir," the young woman corrected. "Currently, you haven't assigned any job to me – so I'm creating my own."  
"Your goddamn job as a woman is to—"

"I'm an heir," Hana interrupted. "I'm proving my place in this company. That is my job."  
"Shut up," the President ordered. "You have the easiest job. You can't even keep your mouth shut?"

The young woman shook her head. "That is not in my nature, sir." She was taught to fight for what she wanted. Fighting for an ounce of respect was not an easy task, apparently.

The man clenched his chest, gasping for breath. "You raise my blood pressure and make my blood boil with rage. You only create problems and think of yourself. You as an heir was a poor choice, bringing dishonour at every chance you get."  
"Did you really have a choice?" the young woman pressed. "You were trapped."  
"I'm marrying you off," the President huffed. He was losing his breath. "You can't handle this company."

Hana shrugged. "You won't marry me off like a pawn."  
"Do I look like I'm joking to you?!" He growled.  
"Do I?" She shot back. _Don't test me._

The man took a minute to breathe and to calm down.

"You don't want to give the company away," Hana pointed out. "I'm the last resort. But you won't trust me with it."  
"Why would I? You're not even my—" The man stopped himself. "First born," he settled.

Hana raised an eyebrow at the choice of words.

"I'm your only option."  
"Your husband will be the best option," the President still refused to accept the young woman.  
"Will he? Someone who is not even your own blood is the best option?" Hana narrowed her eyes to watch him squirm at her own words. They must have at the very least, hit a nerve.

The President could only sit back and let his blood boil at the comment. He was breathing heavily at her provoking words and Hana was not about to let him have his way. She was not that submissive little girl that she was. A model slash upcoming socialite, as her mother would have described.

It was obvious that their conversation was long over by their deafening silence.

"If it's anything you want me to attend: it'll be an appointment with the Ootori," Hana relented. She had things to discuss with the man. But otherwise, any other omiai, event with other socialites, or benefits – she was out of the picture unless necessary.

It was the only thing that he could agree with. The Ootoris were a good family of which they had a long-standing agreement with for their children. But nothing of course, had been set in stone. Talks had been made, but no contracts drawn. A current mutual agreement had been established.

"Very well," the President muttered.

Hana bowed and took her leave.

* * *

Takashi got a call from Sawada-san when he was heading home on the subway.

"Aye, the girl's been in the ring for a few hours. Do me a favour and stop by the dojo and get her home. She'll probably be there all night if you don't."

Mori of course, obliged. He quickly dropped off his briefcase and changed into more comfortable clothing before walking over to the dojo. It was only a few minutes away. The lights were on and her shoes were there – beaten up white running shoes that had definitely seen better days away from mud and dirt.

He found her boxing with the air in the ring, throwing in a couple kicks. Her hands were wrapped and her hair was tied up in a high ponytail that swung with her whole body. Mori was quick to enter the ring quietly, catching from her behind.

But as a reflex, Hana was quick to throw off the stranger, putting him in a locked position. He was not afraid to fight back, pinning her down with his weight.

Hana's eyes widened at the familiar face, her shoulders slumped after her body relaxed, letting her guard down. Her whole body was covered in sweat, and she was also out of breath.

"I'm out of shape," was all she could whisper. He had her down in seconds. Her grandfather would have been disappointed. She looked away, embarrassed at her state of no makeup and heavy sweat. Takashi got up, pulling her to an upright position and then grabbed her water bottle. She gladly took it from him.

"Why are you here?" she asked.  
"Your grandfather asked me to come get you."

Hana shook her head. "I can get home safe."  
"He said you would be here all night."

She couldn't argue with that. Today was a tiring day, but she had to wait until she got home before she could throw a punch. Hana needed to vent before she threw a stapler at the wall at work.

"What happened?" Takashi asked, putting a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. He sat down with her on the ground. His fingers lingered by her cheek before he trailed his hand down to her arm. Hana shook her head.  
"Just petty things," she smiled weakly.  
"Petty things don't deserve such rage," Mori pointed out.

She sighed. "You're right." Hana took a gulp of her water. "I met with… the President today."  
Mori raised an eyebrow. Her father? Technically, not her father. It seemed like the term she used was indeed, the most appropriate.

"He doesn't trust me to take care of the company so he wants to marry me off," Hana confessed. Her words let Takashi's eyes falter for a bit. A reminder that he was not meant for her. "I won't let him," she reassured. "I'm not a pawn, and I'm not just… nothing, you know? I just… I'm trying. I'm really, really trying to make it work. But I can't just quit. Hiro can't… he's so happy in New York and I…"

Hana was at a loss.

"I can't take that away from Hiro. I can't quit because I know the man has enough connections to stop me from entering the finance industry if I tried… but I don't know what it would take to prove that I'm worthy."

She reached for him, and he tucked her underneath his chin without a word. They sat like this for a while, her arms around his chest while his rested around her waist. Hana calmed at the feeling of his embrace, the silence that let her think through her own thoughts.

"Sorry," she mumbled. Hana pulled away and took a deep breath. She smiled at him and asked how his day had been. She had ranted enough for a while.

"The usual," he answered. "Worked on my paper today. Supervisor was pleased so far. Library shift was nice."

Hana nodded. "Do you like the library?"  
"It's quiet," he smiled.  
"How'd you even get the job?"  
"Head librarian saw me a lot," he explained. "Asked if I wanted to apply."  
"And you did?"  
Takashi nodded. "You should come." The library was nice. It was a good place to work, if she needed space for it.  
"To the library? Is this a study date?" she joked. "I'm not a student any more."

He smiled. "You can still come to see me."  
"Can I?" she perked up. "So I can steal kisses from you behind bookshelves?"

Takashi was quick to swoop down and kiss her tenderly at the comment. He could feel her smile into the kiss before she gripped him tighter and deepened the kiss. He wouldn't mind stealing kisses behind bookshelves, if only that didn't distract him from shelving books and doing his job.

Hana giggled and pulled away. "Or I guess we can steal kisses anywhere, honestly."  
Mori was inclined to agree with that comment.

She melted into his arms, letting go of the nagging thoughts at the back of her mind.

"Thank you," Hana whispered.  
"Hm?"  
"For staying," she smiled. "For always staying."

* * *

Hana was hoping for a one-on-one with the Ootori, but instead Hana found herself sitting at a table with the youngest son and his parents, along with her own. Kyouya still looked the same with his stoic expression and his glasses perched upon the bridge of his nose, his curiosity piqued by her presence. He wouldn't have shown up otherwise if it hadn't been for her. On second thought, Kyouya was likely forced to show up to the dinner just as she had.

"Hana recently finished her Master's degree in Finance," her mother gushed. The father of the girl only stayed quiet, cutting through his steak. He was here to save face for the family, not to sell Hana as a proper candidate. That was her mother's job, evidently.  
"That's quite impressive for a young woman," the Ootori's mother nodded.

Hana gave a stifled smile. _For a young woman_ , she repeated to herself.

"Now that you are back in Japan," the Ootori matriarch continued. "Hana, I expected to see you at that benefit last weekend. You were invited, I believe. I made sure to have my assistant send you an invitation."

Hana opened her mouth to answer, ready to explain that she was busy working at the company.

"Apologies," her mother interjected. "Hana was overcoming a nasty cough – absolutely horrid to bring her to such an event with important people. I asked for her to stay home."

The daughter put her cutlery down, and looked up to her mother who gave her a look to bite her tongue. Hana did as told and lowered her head in apology to the Ootori matriarch instead. Sure, she'll play the game for now. But her patience was waning.

"I see," the Ootori was not impressed. "Next time, then."  
"Of course," Hana's mother nodded graciously. "Kyouya must be working at the company now, no? Learning the ropes from his own father must be quite the experience."

"It's been interesting, ma'am," Kyouya spoke for himself, looking straight at Hana – just to provoke her. As if to say, you can't even speak for yourself? How weak. His smirk was always described by Hiro to be the one thing that girls (and boys) would swoon for in a second.

Hana did her best to not roll her eyes. His attitude infuriated her.

"And Hana," the Ootori woman turned her attention to the young heiress. "Heading back into the modelling industry, I presume? After having your little degrees, you must be itching to go back to what you're most comfortable in."

Hana made the mistake of hesitating before. But not this time. She gave no opportunity for her mother to speak for her. Hana could speak for herself.

"Actually, I'm working for the Sawada Corporation – just like your son," Hana shot the Ootori a glance. "I won't be looking towards the industry unless it is of the financial sort," the young woman finished.

"Finance?" the Ootori patriarch raised his eyebrow. "The Sawada Corporation is of the technology sector, young miss."  
"Yes," Hana replied. She wasn't fucking stupid. _Keep calm, Hana. Calm and cool._ "Yet it does not have an investment board for a company so large."

Kyouya narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "You're heading the investment board?"  
It was Hana's turn to smirk. _His words, not mine._ "Well, I did go to school for finance," she pointed out. It was obvious, was it not?

The Sawada President cleared his throat. This was not the plan. The plan was to have the child attend little parties and silly events to have her name known across powerful families so they could be vying potential suitors to take over the corporation. The girl was a troublemaker. Impulsive, and brash with no filter nor tactic.

But to deny such plans would cause the President to lose face, and the entire Ootori clan would be unimpressed. Hana had calculated these moves. All she needed was an opportunity and she got it.

"We are discussing the prospect," was all the Sawada President could say.  
"She has no experience," the Ootori President pointed out. "And you're letting her run an investment board? Ha." The man scoffed and shook his head.

"Neither does your son," Hana was quick to interrupt, unafraid of the Ootori patriarch. She glanced at Kyouya who only returned the same glare of annoyance. "But he's still a managing director, no?"

Kyouya too, was fresh out of his Business Administration program at Harvard. To say he had any experience beyond working for the corporation would be a lie.

"If you are going to ask that I hold my tongue, I cannot do such a thing. Better to be brazen and straightforward with my words than to waste our time as a whole. Believe me when I know that time _is_ money," Hana spoke evenly, cutting through her own veal. "I would appreciate the same regard you hold for your son in my abilities as a businesswoman."

Kyouya was the first to respond to her blunt attitude while the parents were stunned. Whether they were offended or still in shock, Hana pretended not to care.

"I'd have to agree." He perched up his glasses and continued on with his meal. "I wish you luck on your endeavour, Hana." Kyouya used the opportunity to appear as the bigger man. He was raised with class but his words were still laced with venom. Their agreement that they spoke about years ago held little value when each of them had grown over the years. Nothing was set in stone, after all. The reality was that both became suspicious of one another, unable to determine whether they were trustworthy after all these years.  
"And to you," Hana reciprocated, holding up her wine glass for a toast. If he thought he was being the bigger person, Hana took the opportunity to equalize the playing field with her gesture. Kyouya clinked his glass with her own.

The children were as amicable as any business partner could be, they were quick to becomes the role models to their own parents.

It was not the most ideal dinner, though it quite an impressionable one. The Ootoris left feeling unsure of the young woman, but it was evident that Hana was bright and ambitious. Two traits that the Ootoris could respect. What was missing were the results of her ambition, and the defining factor of her candidacy required time.

The Sawadas, however, saw it differently. The family sat by the dinner table alone, after their guests had left.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Hana's mother shrieked.  
"If you thought parading me around and showing me off like a doll would impress the Ootoris, you were very, very wrong," the daughter rolled her eyes.

"An investment board?" the President roared. "An _investment_ board? You think I'm going to throw money your way so you can just burn it?"  
"That's not how _investments_ work," the heiress was quick to get on the nerves of the man. She did not care if it infuriated him, it was her goal to have him huffing and puffing.

"Hana, you have no _clue_ how to do business," her mother insisted. "You don't _know_ what you're doing!"  
"Neither did you during that dinner," Hana retorted. She stood from her seat and grabbed her bag. Hana had absolutely no intention of staying at the mansion for any longer than she had to and headed home to her grandfather's place.

"We're in the talks of setting up an investment board," Hana reminded the President. It was set in stone now that the man admitted it to the Ootoris. They were not a family to lie to, especially now when the Sawadas had to save face. "I'll be sure to call your secretary for an appointment some time next week. I'll have a proposal drawn up."

"You little—"

Hana bowed deeply as her goodbye and left with that.

* * *

The granddaughter returned home late, her eyes red and swollen. She burst into tears on the walk home through the park when she realized the gravity of the situation. Hana tried to put herself together before stepping into the home. She took her high heels off and walked past her grandfather, refusing to look him in the eye.

"What happened?" Ojii-san demanded to know. Was it the kid who made her cry? He was going to punch him so hard for making his granddaughter cry.  
"I'm actually so fucked," Hana dug herself a hole. A deep, deep, deep hole. She bit off more than she could chew. It was an idea that spurred in her head for quite some time. But now that she needed to work out the logistics and plan for a success – the chances were very bleak. Investment banking involved a lot of risk. She spent years calculating risk and potential profits. But more so the former.

"Everyone's right: I don't know what I'm doing," the young woman admitted. "I went to school for six years for finance but all I've done were simulations and case studies. I worked one summer at a firm and even then I was _so_ _so_ _so_ lost. I'm tired of pretending, Ojii-san."

She couldn't control herself anymore. No amount of punches at a wall could help her stop pretending to be tough and assertive. Hana was weak and she couldn't deny it any longer. She was destined for failure.

"Oh Hana, you silly, silly, child," her grandfather patted her back. "Does anyone know what they are doing? You are so young. No one expects you to know what you are doing."  
"And yet I still try to prove that I do! I'm an idiot who can't handle her pride being bruised," Hana groaned, while burying her face in her hands.  
"That's my fault," Ojii-san coughed sheepishly. "I passed that trait onto you. But is that so bad? People underestimating you is an advantage. Their expectations are so low it'll be easy to surpass."

Hana shook her head. "I have a habit of raising the bar too high."  
"Because of your pride?"  
"I have a problem," she sighed.  
"I do too," he chuckled. "But I've gotten this far in life so, it's not all bad."

The granddaughter shook her head. "Fuck," she grumbled. "I'm just shit at keeping it together. I know you didn't raise me this way. Don't scold me now. Do it tomorrow morning," Hana murmured.

"Why would I scold you? I'm proud of you, Hana. I'm so damn proud, I tell all my friends about you."  
"You only have one friend," Hana deadpanned. It was Takashi's grandfather.  
"I have plenty of friends, Hana," the elder shot back at her. Hana waved his comment off before she left to take a shower.

It was always hard to see her cry. When she cried at her bruises and the scrapes on her knees as a child, soon she stopped after years of being beaten down. A slight wince became the norm, and then not even the wince. Just pure silence as she withstood all the pain. A part of him wondered if it was right to raise her like this. Toughening her up for the real world – it needed to happen. How else would she survive?

But Hana was still human and as a grandparent, he was almost relieved that he hadn't eroded her down to the very core. Her struggles became his struggles. Her cries became the aching in his heart. From the moment he saw her big eyes look up at him as a baby – he was sold. That was it. He couldn't leave the helpless thing to fend for herself.

But now he was helpless at helping her. He couldn't train Hana for the real world of office politics and upper society. He could only watch. He could only make her lunch. He could only let her sleep soundly in his home, away from the big empty mansion.

He could only love her in the way that her parents did not.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry, I know I've been MIA. I finished up a summer course and dealt with a family emergency somehow all within the past month. I didn't get the chance to sit down to write until a few days ago, and suddenly I'm less than a month away from the beginning of school. I'll try my best to write before uni begins again, though no guarantees. Your thoughts are always appreciated - they keep me going with the story. Thank you so much for sticking by and reading this far. You're wonderful.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Takashi passed by a flower shop every morning and every evening at the subway station. It was there for as long as he could remember, each season with different flowers that were sold. A bundle of pink baby's breath was delicately wrapped with paper tied by a white string. It was getting late and the shop was about to close so the owner was willing to give Takashi a discount when he noticed him eyeing the bouquet for a few minutes.

Mori quietly nodded and he found himself walking home with flowers.

It reminded him of her.

It always did, over the years. Some flowers just stood out in his eye, their delicacy and their beauty – the elegance of the arrangements always reminded him of her. He wondered what she would think of them. Mori got out of the subway station and called her, thinking if he could drop by the house for just a minute if she wasn't too busy.

She picked up after a few rings.

"Hello?" Mori could hear traffic in the background.  
"Where are you?" he asked.

Hana tripped over the ledge of the sidewalk after being distracted by the phone call. She winced. The heels were not being lenient on her ankles today.

"I'm walking out of the subway station," she answered.  
"It's late," Takashi looked at the time. It was 7:30 PM. He got home from his afternoon shift from the library. She usually got home by 6 after a commute when her work ended by 5.  
"Yeah," Hana sighed. "More late nights to come. What are you up to?"

Mori was already at the edge of the park when he realized that she was likely getting out of the same subway station as he had only a few minutes prior. He decided to wait underneath the shade of a tree, sitting comfortably on the bench.

"Just got off work," Takashi answered.  
"Oh? Is there anything you needed?" Hana was surprised to see the call. Takashi wasn't usually the type to bother calling unless necessary, and they managed to see each other about once a week thanks to their grandparents.

"No, not really," was the sheepish reply. "Just uh," he cleared his throat. "Wanted to hear your voice."  
She smiled. "That's… sweet of you. I'm almost home. Are you?"

Takashi smiled to himself. "I will be." He could see her through the gates of the park, hearing her heels before her voice. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, with loose hairs that fell after a long day to frame her face. She wore a navy blue dress, her blazer was taken off and carried on her arm to beat the humid Tokyo heat.

Takashi stood from the wooden bench, hanging up the phone and placing it back to his pocket. He carried his briefcase in one hand and hid the bouquet behind his back as she approached him. Hana didn't seem to notice since she had looked down to her phone. Mori had abruptly ended their call and Hana was left confused. She placed it back into her handbag before she looked up.

Hana was startled by the sudden presence and tipped backwards, nearly losing her balance on her high heels. She quickly lurched forward, placing her arms in front and bent her knees to lower her centre of gravity.

"My goodness! Takashi!" Hana scolded when she finally managed to regain stability. "Don't do that!"

The man chuckled and apologized. He held out the small bouquet in apology, much to her surprise. She was stunned by the gesture.

"Are those… for me?" Hana's hands were almost full, with her blazer in one hand and her handbag in another. She quickly reorganized herself so Mori could hand off the bouquet to her. Her eyes lit up as she looked at the tiny pink blossoms.

"They're so beautiful. Thank you," she murmured. Hana was quick to kiss him on the cheek and gave him a hug with the one arm that wasn't bogged by her own belongings. Mori wasn't expecting the sudden embrace, but he let her stay. She smelled like jasmine.

"Work was extra awful today," Hana mumbled into his chest. "This just made my day much better." She looked up at him. He could look at those milky brown orbs forever. "How did you know?"  
"Know what?" Mori comfortably laid his hands around her waist.  
"To… make me feel better."  
"I didn't," Takashi shrugged. "I saw those and… I just thought of you."

Hana shook her head in disbelief. "It's not possible for me to be this lucky to have someone like you. I just – I refuse to believe that I'm allowed to have you."  
"That's too bad," Mori smiled. "It seems like you're stuck to me."  
"Oh no," she laughed. "I'm sorry." Hana tried pulling away but Mori was quick to keep her in his grip. "Guess I'm really stuck to you, huh?" She wasn't going to complain about it.

They both laughed and settled on the park bench.

"Hungry?" he asked.  
"Starving," Hana pouted before lighting up with an idea. "How about we grab dinner together?"  
"What about Sawada-san?"  
She waved his comment off and rolled her eyes. "He'll be fine, given that he's always grumbling about having to cook extra food. What about you? Would Morinozuka-san mind? Or actually, if you're busy –"

He squeezed her hand and smiled. "He won't mind. I'm not busy."  
Hana grinned and excitedly stood from the bench. "Let me go change into something a little more comfortable – and maybe some shoes that won't cause me to be a hazard. I'll meet you here in twenty minutes?"

Mori nodded and figured it would be a good idea to drop off his briefcase back home. She snuck a quick kiss on his cheek before she left. _Just one while I'm still tall enough to do it comfortably,_ was her explanation. Hana scurried as fast as she could with her five-inch black pumps.

* * *

"Oi, where are you going in such a rush? What are those flowers doing on the counter?" her grandfather called out for Hana as she ran to her bedroom.

 _What do I wear? Oh god, I should've said half an hour._

"Uh," Hana was in the midst of trying to squeeze out of her dress. "They're from Takashi!"  
"What?"  
"I'm grabbing dinner with him too!"  
"What?"

Hana groaned and she didn't have the time to repeat herself. She quickly threw on a skirt that gave her more room to move than her form-fitting blue dress. Hana grabbed for a loose white shirt, and tucked it into her skirt. She kept the necklace that she had on, and let her hair down. It was falling apart, anyway.

"Oi, Hana," the elder knocked on her door. She was in the midst of trying to fix her makeup, powdering her face so that she didn't look like a greasy mess. "What was that thing about Takashi?"  
"He gave me flowers and now we're going to grab dinner!"  
"What?"  
"God damn it, I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time," Hana slid open her door and grabbed a pair of flats to give her feet a break after a long day.

"What is this dinner thing – what is happening? You're not eating here?!"  
"Nope!" Hana slid on her small shoulder bag, grabbing her phone and wallet while she was at it. "I have to go, Ojii-san!"

"Hey!" the grandfather narrowed his eyes. "Come home before midnight," he grumbled. "Stay safe and… and, oi, you're going to run into a tree, Hana! Wipe that silly grin on your face!"

* * *

She was in the middle of trying to place her hair in a braid as she quickly walked over to the bench that they agreed to meet at. Takashi was already there waiting. He smiled at her hurried state, she scrambled at the sight of him and ran over out of breath. She was on-time but Hana seemed to think otherwise.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I'm late."

Mori only shrugged and waited for her to put herself together.

"What do you want to eat?" she asked.  
"Anything," Mori wasn't picky. He was mostly just soaking in the spontaneity in their plans. It was exciting. _She_ was exciting. Hana tugged on his hand and led him back to the subway. He followed her mindlessly, letting her take the lead. She was the explorer, the adventurous one.

He followed her to a small restaurant, quiet and quaint with few tables and booths along the wall. Hana was busy following the map on her phone in one hand and holding his in the other. When they settled, she ordered the curry and he did the same. Hana tilted her head, trying to read his expression.

"Are you sure?"  
"Hm?" Mori was confused. Yeah, he was sure at ordering the same thing she did. Why not? It didn't really matter to him what he ate. She was his priority. She was the one that he wanted to be with.

"I just," Hana pursed her lips, trying to put the words together. "Don't feel like you have to do what I want to do – you're… free."  
"Free?" Now he was intrigued. What did she mean?  
"Free to say no, free to argue, free to… not feel obligated to me," Hana finished.

"Are you asking me to leave you?" Takashi raised his eyebrows, trying to gauge Hana's thoughts.  
"No," Hana shook her head, answering a little too eagerly. "Not at all, I mean, um. Unless you want to? I just… I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too much?" She looked guilty. "I mean, I can't tell between whether or not you're just being nice or you really just, don't mind. Whether you're keeping things to yourself and I'm not noticing or if you really are genuinely fine."

Hana tried to read his expression, but all she could really make out was his curious eyes and small smile.

"Do you think I'm being silly?"

He chuckled to himself. Silly wasn't quite the word he was looking for. Cute, maybe. But not exactly.

"Am I overthinking things?"  
"A little bit," he answered.  
"Just," Hana sighed. "Just let me know what you're thinking sometimes, okay? Sometimes I can't… I can't read you. This isn't the dojo where I can anticipate your moves like I used to."

She was right. They were far from the fighting mat, and their relationship was based upon a silent language that didn't always translate to their lives outside of the mat. Real life was different. Their bruises and wounds did not carry over to reality as a symbol of strength and perseverance. It was, quite frankly, an eyesore to those who didn't understand.

"I'm not good at…" Mori tried explain. But he wasn't sure how to.  
"I know," Hana smiled, her voice softening. "I'm not asking you to change. I'm just… letting you know that I… might not be good at this."

He had an instinct that she did not possess. He had a gift to somehow understand her in ways that no one else seemed to. Perhaps it was the fact that he had spent years taking care of Honey such that his skill in observing people just naturally carried onto her. But whatever it was, Hana couldn't quite replicate the same kind of care he did for her.

She had been alone for so long that she learned to take care of herself overseas. Hana knew that she was inherently selfish, but she didn't want to seem like a selfish person to him. She didn't strive to be selfish, to want this and that, to demand for things that she did not deserve.

Perhaps, it was the fact that Takashi was too good to be true. She did not deserve him. She did not work hard to gain him. But he was not someone to be _gained_ after all. He was a real person, not a title, nor a job. In all honesty, sometimes it felt like a dream to be with him.

* * *

Takashi hadn't noticed that she was a little shorter than he was until he looked down to her feet. Her flats had taken a couple inches off from her so that he could easily rest his chin on her head. He smiled at that. They decided to walk home after their meal. The sun had set and the temperatures had dropped slightly for them to enjoy the breeze.

"You said I was free," Takashi seemed to bring the comment up out of nowhere. Hana looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Aren't we all?"  
"Define it," Takashi challenged her. She went along with his thought experiment without any complaint.  
"I mean, we are free to make our own choices in the world, no? I freely decided to pursue a degree that people didn't seem to expect. I… quit modelling because I wanted to. Likewise, you were free to… choose me, right?" she smiled.

Mori nodded. "So you believe in free will?"  
"Of course," Hana nodded. One always had the choice, regardless of their circumstances. Whether she chose to go back into modelling, or to trudge through working at the company instead – she chose it all. Hana knew that she brought it all upon herself – there was no complaining.

"Then do you think that whatever happens is determined by previous events?"  
Hana tilted her head. "Hm, you're going to have to explain that one."  
"How does one get sick?" Mori asked. He started off easy.  
"Lack of sleep, poor hygiene, and whether they have been in contact with the ill?"  
"How about when you drop your phone?" He chose another scenario.  
"Sheer clumsiness," Hana admitted. "From tripping or being distracted –"  
"Now what about your decision to quit modelling?" The last one was one that made her dig deep. Hana hadn't expected the sudden connection to her own life.

Hana had to pause for a second to gather her answer. "I was sick of being seen as a human mannequin and a mere pretty face that had nothing else to contribute to the world."  
"And your decision to pursue finance full-time?"  
It was a result that inevitably stemmed from her decision to quit modelling.  
"I wanted to be useful," Hana sighed. "I see your point."

Mori was pleased that she understood the concept. It wasn't a difficult one.

"It's called hard determinism," he explained. "Do you think this concept holds true?"  
"Yes," Hana confidently answered.  
"And free will?"  
"Yeah," she shrugged. Sure, events were caused by previous events. But you still could choose to make your own decisions, right?

Takashi shook his head. This was the mind-boggling part. "These things cannot coexist."  
Hana stopped in her tracks and tugged onto his arm. "What do you mean?" Her eyes had turned into saucers as her mouth gaped open. She was confused and Mori couldn't help but to laugh lowly.

"Free will implies that anything you choose is based upon no other reason other than your own thought."  
"Okay," Hana could agree with that. It made sense.  
"But if every event and decision is based upon a previous event – your thoughts and rationalism must be rooted by a previous event or thought."

Mori continued walking, gently taking her hand and guiding her back home while she thought about his words. She was deep in thought, as if trying to disprove what he said. Takashi grinned – he knew that she couldn't argue with the idea, even if she tried.

"Takashi, are you saying that there is no free will in the world?" she gasped. Everything he said had a point. Perhaps they were never really free, after all.  
The man only laughed at her reaction. She just had an epiphany but she looked terrified at her revelation.

"No, Hana." He reassured, patting her on the top of her head. "A French philosopher, D'Holbach, takes credit for that thought."  
"D'Holbach," she repeated, letting the name sink.  
" _Everything is the inevitable result of what came before, including everything we do_ ," Mori quoted.

Hana exhaled and shook her head. "My brain hurts. I can't believe you teach these things for a living. How does anyone in your class not have a mental breakdown every lecture?"  
Takashi smirked and leaned down to kiss her temple. "Better?"  
She laughed and nodded. "A little. Might take a few more to get me back to normal," she teased.  
"Whatever you need," he murmured in her ear.

* * *

If they wanted to, they could've probably sprinted their way back home and make it in about five minutes. But they lingered, stealing glances at each other while knowing fully well that they both were looking. It was silly and they both knew it.

Hana held his hand while checking the time on her phone. She technically had be home by midnight and it was barely 11 PM.

"I should get you home," he sighed.  
"I can get home fine on my own," Hana didn't need anyone to take her home. She was well equipped in her skills of self-defence. But she knew that he only meant well and it shouldn't have bothered her as much as it did. It was nothing more than just a defensive habit.

"Do you want to…?" Takashi asked.  
She shook her head no. He smiled. He didn't want to send her home, either. They basked in the quiet summer night, listening to the crickets come alive and watching the stars on a park bench. Hana was still deep in thought about free will and determinism. It made her wonder about things.

"Do you think… that we were meant to be?" she whispered. It was stupidly cheesy, but if she had to follow the logic of determinism then it was clear that somehow they ended up the way they did. Whether it was fate, determinism, or some other factor – be it free will or not, they were here and intertwined.

Takashi shrugged. "Why?"  
"I mean, if free will didn't exist…"  
"Do you feel that way?" he smiled when he realized she was still contemplating the idea. She was his favourite student.  
"Do I feel like free will doesn't exist? No… I feel like I've made my own choices and my path was carved by my own decisions."  
"So does it really _not_ exist?" Mori questioned.

Hana playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Right when I think I understand what you've taught, you go ahead and confuse me!"

He laughed and only wished his regular students were this expressive. He only stared at blank faces most of the time. Hana was the light that brought him joy. She sighed out of frustration. Hana couldn't imagine being a philosophy major – it would have ruined her sanity. But he still seemed to be okay, despite it all.

"What were you saying before?" Mori comfortably placed his arm around her, keeping her close.

She pouted. "I feel like the conclusion I came to just got disproven so, uh I won't be embarrassing myself any further."  
He coaxed her with a kiss to her temple. "No, go on," he whispered into her ear.

"I don't know," she mumbled, looking away from him. "I guess it was kind of comforting to know we were… maybe… meant to be? Even if I thought I had chosen you, it was all… inevitable, you know? Like, no matter what I did – I'd end up beside you."  
"Mm," he found the thought comforting, as well.  
"What if I had chosen… Toudai, for example, over Stern?"  
"You applied to Toudai?" This was new information to him.  
"As a backup, of course – Stern doesn't take anybody and everybody," Hana was realistic. "But if I had gone here instead… maybe we would have been together sooner."  
"Or not," Mori pointed out. "You never know."

Hana had to agree that he had a point there. She wouldn't have had the same autonomy she had in New York if she stayed in Tokyo. She probably would have had to stick with her modelling career longer, especially with her mother on her back. Hana wouldn't have gotten the same opportunities here as she did overseas to gain her own independence.

Her years abroad were years of valuable experience for growth. Hana grew to be less fearful of the unknown, especially when she was placed in an environment of new cultures and a completely different language. New customs to be learnt, new skills that she had to apply to life. It was overall, a rewarding experience.

"I'm glad we waited," Hana admitted. "We grew into different people from the time I had left to this day… and it was much needed for the both of us."

Takashi nodded. He was much more insecure about himself six years ago. He felt like an impostor, with his friends achieving greatness while he was left behind in the library furiously typing away on his laptop to make essay deadlines. But now, he was comfortable. Takashi was satisfied. Content in himself, and confident in the decisions he had made to get to where he was today. He did not look for fame, nor wealth. He was privileged enough to live life the way he did.

And now with her by his side – it really couldn't have been any better. He had food on the table, shelter over his head, a job, and Hana was really more than what he could have ever asked for. But whether he had grown into someone who truly deserved her – Takashi had to admit that he was still working on it.

"But we still found each other," she smiled to herself, even though Mori was quick to catch it. Her smile was contagious and he couldn't help but to feel at peace with her. Like everything fit in life, there was no need to chase for anything. No fear of whatever was coming next. It just felt right.

* * *

Hana was working well into the night, tracking the closing of the European Market. Things had begun picking up at work as her project had been green lit reluctantly by the President. He called it a trial period, looking for results after three months – or the entire board would be scrapped. Hana called his conditions fair and quickly began putting everyone to work.

It was an investment coming out of the President's own pocket – given that there would be no way for the board of executives to pitch in a cent towards Hana's little "finance experiment" as the President had called it.

It wasn't exactly an experiment, but it was definitely a risky venture.

Hana's phone rang, which took her by surprise. No one usually called her. It was Hiro calling.

"Hana! I'm coming home next week," her brother was excited to share the news.  
"I thought you were going to stay in New York for the summer?"  
"The score is basically complete," Hiro explained. He was writing a film score for an indie movie. "Maybe a couple finishing touches I can make on the last track, but I can do that easily on the plane or whatever."  
"What about the guy you were seeing?" Hana thought that the two would take the rest of the summer to spend time together. Something she almost envied, but she couldn't complain with her current situation. It was really more than she could ever ask for.

"He went home," Hiro sighed.  
"You didn't go with him?"  
"We're… not at that stage yet," he sheepishly replied.  
"Ah," Hana nodded in understanding. "I see. Should I pick you up from the airport?"  
"Aren't you busy?"  
"I can make time for my big brother," she assured. Or at least, she hoped that she could make time for him.

Hiro brushed off the offer, noting that the family chauffeur had already gotten the details of his arrival. Hiro would be staying at the mansion for a bit, and hanging out with the Host Club when he got home. When Hiro called up his friends, most were busy – except for the Twins, who were basically up for anything at any point in time. Kyouya was off working at his company, Tamaki had taken over duties at Ouran as a headmaster, Honey was occupied with his engineering job, as was Mori with his thesis and library shifts. Everyone had jobs, including the Twins. But the Twins were not sticklers for the 9 to 5 schedule.

The Twins were famous in Japan – mostly because of their circle of friends that ranged from models, actors, and of course, heirs. Hiro of course, was no stranger to paparazzi. He lived in the spotlight. Hana on the other hand, found the poorly hidden photographers 20 feet away in the bushes to be rather annoying.

"Just leave them," Hiro shook his head. "What's so weird about me catching up with my younger sister?"

Hana took the afternoon off from work to meet Hiro at what she thought was a quiet café. She too, had lived in the limelight – but not like this. She had been living quietly for years now and she was hoping to keep it this way. She escaped from the wild ride of fame right before she reached the true height of it.

"There are rumours that you're working on a new album now that you're home," Hana informed.  
"I'm always working on new stuff," Hiro shrugged. "Maybe not the regular EDM stuff that people are expecting." Hiro appreciated all kinds of music, and all sounds. His brain was consistently listening for new melodies, composing different harmonies in his head before getting them all down on paper.

"Does Mori still listen to your songs?" Hiro teased.  
"My songs?" Hana looked at him confused. "What songs?"  
"I bet you it's on his phone," the brother grinned. "All the songs you used to record with me – I gave them all to him before I left for Juilliard."

Hana dropped her face in her palm and rolled her eyes. "Why would you do that? Now I have to go steal his phone and delete them all off."  
"No," Hiro pouted. "You have a sweet voice. Embrace it." Hana didn't have a large range, or powerful vocals that could shatter windows – but she could carry a tune and sometimes that's all you needed.

The sister turned the tables towards her brother and changed the topic.

"What's his name?" she asked, straightforwardly. The siblings were close enough that there wasn't any need for euphemisms. Hana preferred no filters in their banter, anyway.

"Richard," Hiro smiled. He wasn't surprised at the sudden interrogation. He was looking forward in telling her about him.  
"And what does he do?"  
"Saxophonist studying at Juilliard, and he teaches music on the side."  
"Seems like a boring kind of guy," Hana tilted her head. Hiro was the life of the party, the guy that made conversation with everyone and anyone.  
"Sometimes we all need boring… to keep us grounded," Hiro smiled. He too, didn't expect himself to fall for someone who seemed to be the opposite of who he was. Focused, motivated, and grounded to their ideals. Likewise, he was surprised when the same feelings were reciprocated.

"That's good," Hana was glad to hear that. "But what do you see in him?"  
"Security," Hiro softly answered. "I've… had some crazy nights, going out, exhausting myself, and going back to do it all over again. It's nice, every once in a while. But it's… tiring, you know? I just… he made me grow up, a little."

Hana could see that Hiro had changed. He was still him. Outgoing, happy, and ready for any kind of adventure but he toned it down. She was happy for him, how he seemed to find his way. Glad to see that he was happy overseas, away from the mess of their household. For some reason, Hana felt an obligation to shield him from the politics of the upper class.

"Then what does he see in you?" Hana raised an eyebrow, curious.  
Hiro laughed. "Honestly, no clue. I'm just glad he's still with me. That's all I can ask for, really."

Hana nodded and took a sip of her lemonade, letting the silence sit comfortably.

"So, Mori," Hiro casually brought the most exciting topic up. "What do you see in him?"

Hana rolled her eyes at the change of topic.

"His abs? His jawline? His back muscles?" Hiro leaned in at every feature. This was important information he needed from his sister.

"His patience," Hana answered evenly, unimpressed with her brother's superficial options.  
"Eugh, Hana you're so lame," Hiro rolled his eyes. "But honestly, have you _seen_ him?"  
"Yup," Hana smirked. "You know we used to spar as kids right? He threw me down with the same muscles you're swooning over."

Hiro frowned. "Okay, this is different. Did he hurt you? Is he still giving you those bruises? Do I have to punch him?"  
"Relax, Hiro," the sister reassured. "I gave him some bruises too. We're even. Also, I've said this before but Hiro you can't throw a punch. We don't spar anymore, alright?"  
"So… do you guys like, make out instead?"

The sister groaned. "Can we not… do this…"  
Hiro laughed at his shy sister and nudged her head. He would never get tired of his own little sister. She glared at him for ruining her hair and quickly tied it up instead.

"You coming to tomorrow's dinner?"  
"What dinner?" Hana was in the midst of adjusting her hair.  
"The one that… mom invited you to? A family dinner." Hiro was surprised at the fact that Hana hadn't known about it.  
"Oh," Hana remembered getting a call from the President's secretary about that in the morning. "I'm going to have to pass on that one, sorry."

"Why?" Hiro asked. "You know she wants to see you."  
"She saw me a few weeks ago at dinner with the Ootoris," Hana brushed off. "There is no need to see me again."

Hiro always felt awkward being the messenger between Hana and their mother. He was in no position to try to mend their relationship, it was not his job to do so. Hiro was a meddler in things he knew that he was allowed to meddle in.

"She means well," Hiro tried again.  
Hana sighed and leaned back in her chair. "She would mean well if she just left me alone and to stop reducing me to some kind of doll, or an accomplishment that she raised."  
"I'll let her know," the brother nodded. "She'll flip out at your words, but still."  
"Thanks," Hana chuckled.

"Man, we're one dysfunctional family, aren't we?" Hiro realized.  
"Pretty much," she agreed. "Why do you think she called for a family dinner?" There was usually some kind of ulterior motive to it.

Hiro shrugged. "Maybe they're finally cutting me off, financially?"  
Hana looked up from her drink. Hana would be fine, if they had cut her off financially – she had been living in exile anyway. Hiro only grinned and chuckled.

"It's fine if they do. My EDM days have brought in a significant net worth that's currently being managed. I'm already known in the music industry, so finding work won't be difficult. Don't look so terrified, Hana. I'm ready."

The little sister exhaled. Her big brother had actually grown up to be independent. It made her feel relieved.

"How's work though?" Hiro turned the subject back to his sister. "What's it like?"  
"I'm trying to establish an investment board… and there's a side project," Hana explained.  
"Side project?" Hiro's curiosity was piqued.  
"Classified information, can't tell you in case of corporate espionage," she smirked.  
Hiro huffed and pouted. "Probably boring stuff anyway – finance and whatever, right?"  
She nodded. "Don't tell father about it, alright? He just thinks I'm burning his money. If he asks about me just tell him I've been tracking world markets day and night. Better yet, don't mention me at all. I think he'd prefer that."

Hiro couldn't help but to feel like he was caught in the middle. He was neutral towards his parents, but Hana had boiling rage that could not be tamed. The rift in their family was far too gone to be mended. He felt like the glue that kept them all together, just by the tiniest bit. And yet, at the end of the day, Hiro could not blame his little sister for feeling the way she did. Hana was justified in her choice of isolation. There was no big happy family. Hana was nothing more than a business partner, and Hiro couldn't do anything but respect it.

At the end of the day, he loved his sister – his number one supporter when being a musician was only just a dream. She was the one who sat patiently, listening to his music. She was his rock, the one person he knew that would stay loyal to him. The only person who took the step to sacrifice her own happiness for his own. So whatever she wanted, whatever she needed for her own happiness – Hiro couldn't do anything but to do it for her.

Even if it meant being caught in the middle of their dysfunctional family.

* * *

Hana hated being in the tabloids. She hated the attention. The false rumours. The speculation.

One would have thought that Hana had developed a thick skin against it all, but the truth was, Hana didn't. She openly chose to escape the world of fame, purely because she didn't have the capacity to deal with it. Hana could only focus on so many things at once – and she had enough emotional distress.

Sawada-san found his granddaughter curled up in her bed, reading something on her phone. Hana was tempted to throw it through the wall, but she only tossed it aside and buried herself in her blankets.

"Oi," the grandfather called out. "What are you doing?"  
"Hating the world," she grumbled. "Who the fuck thought it was a good article write? _Hana Sawada, former model turned heiress meets with estranged brother to discuss stepping down as an heiress due to extreme pressure_."

There were some attached pictures from years ago, her on the catwalk in Tokyo, and a few brand adverts across Asia. It was so strange seeing her face – she must have looked like a baby without makeup and yet she looked well beyond 18. Then there were photos of the siblings meeting each other at the café only a few days prior.

"Or even worse, _EDM Musician Hiro Sawada meets his sister, ex-model Hana Sawada, to discuss future marriage prospects for the Sawada Corporation_ ," she recited. Hana wanted to scream. This infuriated her.

" _Hana Sawada can't handle the pressure of being an heiress and is forced to step down. Her future looks bleak in the business industry as she shows interest in returning back to modelling,"_ the woman groaned at these articles online. "Where are these rumours coming from?! Why are they digging up old photos of me? No one even recognizes me anymore. Fucking sh—"  
"Calm down," Sawada-san cut her off. "They're only rumours."  
"Rumours can do more than enough to damage your reputation," Hana grumbled. "What if my coworkers see this?"

It was the weekend and Hana only wanted to crawl into bed and sleep her day away. She'd spent the early morning following the closing of the North American markets. Hana waved off her grandfather in favour of a nap but she woke at the sudden presence of a dog jumping onto her bed.

"Oh Kaina," Hana murmured. She buried her fingers in the long fur coat. She held the dog's cheeks with her two hands and spoke lovingly. "You wanna go out for a walk? Let me try to look human and I'll be right there."

"You can rest," a voice called out. Hana yelped at the sudden presence of him, as she clearly didn't see him at the doorway. She covered her face and wanted to hide underneath the blankets. She had ridiculously dark circles beneath her eyes, her hair was a mess, and she was in her pyjamas that she needed to wash with the rest of her laundry.

"What are you doing here, Takashi?"  
"My grandfather is here playing chess." Hana groaned. She had been so tired that she forgot it was their chess day. They alternated homes every week.

"Why are you covering your face?" Mori was amused at the sight of her. He was just about to take Kaina out for a walk, given that Hana hadn't done it yet. Sawada-san told him that she had a long night and was napping.  
"I'm embarrassed," Hana grumbled. It wasn't like he'd never seen her without makeup before. But goodness, was it so hard for him to leave her alone so that she could at least pretend to look like she woke up with a fresh face?

"Give me ten minutes. I'll be right out," Hana jumped out of bed and ran over to the bathroom to clean her face and to quickly throw on some makeup. Just enough for her complexion to look normal and some eyeliner. She braided her hair on the side and changed into a comfortable summer dress. Hana greeted the elders before meeting up with Takashi outside.

He was dressed in his usual tank top and basketball shorts. Hana smiled at him and Kaina who perked up at the new guest. He smiled back, noting the change in her clothing and her glowing face. She looked beautiful to him, but he appreciated the effort she always placed. It made him wonder if he needed a new wardrobe, given that he always wore a variation of the same thing.

Hana walked over to him and gave him a hug. It wasn't unexpected, but it was just… nice. A nice greeting after a few days of not seeing one another. He lifted her up from the ground and had her laughing at the sudden sensation.

"Good morning," she greeted when she was finally back on the ground.  
"Afternoon," he corrected. "You alright?" Takashi knew that long nights were never pleasant. Whatever it was that kept her up, he hoped that he could at least listen to her worries. She nodded.

Her morning was mostly irritating, and borderline infuriating. But she brought it upon herself as she read all of the insulting articles. With him, it seemed like her worries were petty and silly to have to share. He was the breath of fresh air she needed to stay calm. She held onto his hand while they walked the dog through the park.

"We should take her to the mountains, yeah? She can run free," Hana suggested. She wished that she could let go of the leash to let the dog run around the park happily. It was never fun to be chained, but Kaina was used to it.  
"Yeah," Mori agreed. He had a feeling that Hana didn't have as much time as she used to and the trip would ultimately be delayed to who knew when. But the thought of letting the dog run free across the grass was nice. The thought of being by her was also nice. He could already see the mountains and he could feel the cool mountain breeze in his fingers.

The more time he spent with her, the more Takashi found himself dreaming about hypothetical scenarios and what-ifs. What if they went to the mountains again? What if he came by with flowers every day for her? What if they lived together?

Reality blended into his dreams, with her right beside him.

"What are you thinking about?" Hana asked.

Mori shrugged and shook his head. Nothing much, really. Just the usual.

* * *

 **A/N:** Currently 2:20 AM in the morning and I felt the need to post. I'm going to try my best to keep writing as much as I can, but you know, life gets in the way. I'm trying to relish in the last bit of free time I have. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter. Your reviews and support are the things that keep me writing. So thanks for sticking around for so long. I appreciate all of you. :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Hana got the invitation on her desk after a lunch break. It was an invitation to Haruhi and Tamaki's engagement party. Hana was unsure of what to make of it – they were the friends of her brother, and if anything, she was an acquaintance at best. Hana wasn't aware of the fact that the two were engaged, or even dating for that matter.

As for the invitation – it looked like it was a formal invitation to all business partners. The Suohs and the Sawadas weren't exactly business partners, either. So what was the motive? Surely, Hana wasn't just invited because of Hiro. His circle of friends did not extend to her, she figured.

Hana kept the invitation in her bag and continued on with her day. It was nearing the end of her two months of what the President called an experiment – and to be quite frank, the results weren't promising. There was a small margin of profit, but not enough to show actual potential.

Meanwhile, Hana had her team work on another project. In terms of investing, Hana was the one in charge of it. None of her employees had much background in finance and it would have been pointless to have them work on something they did not understand.

Yuuto's algorithm had potential in forensic finance. She had him and the others helping him tweak the code into a final software product, and the rest of the team on marketing. Progress began slowly, during the first week with nearly nothing occurring until Hana reminded that she was in charge of their pay. It was a race between her department and Yuuto's former department to devise a full product.

Yuuto knocked on the door of Hana's office. Hana called for him to come in while she stared at her Bloomberg Terminal.

"It's done," Yuuto cut straight to the point. "Now it's just a matter of making the interface user-friendly."

Hana nodded. "Thanks for the update." She went back to her monitors, expecting him to leave as he usually did. He came in every few days, and the team had a weekly meeting every Monday to delegate tasks and to keep Hana in the loop of things.

Yuuto-san lingered for a bit, watching the woman at work. "Is that a… Bloomberg Terminal?"

His boss glanced at him, surprised that he was still standing. "Yes," she answered curtly. "I know it looks like I'm not working but I assure you, I—"  
"What capital do you even have to invest?" Yuuto-san scoffed.

Hana sighed. It was a valid question.

"I have to prove that I'm worthy of the investment in about a month," she admitted, ignoring his question. But he very well knew that the money was coming from the President. Who else would it have been? "I know I haven't been particularly involved in your project but—"  
"—How are the margins?" he asked.

Hana was beginning to get irritated by the way he cut her off. But she let it go.

"Not as well as I had hoped," she gritted through her teeth. "It's slim."  
"Better than being in the negatives," he pointed out, trying to console her. He wasn't sure how else to say what he wanted to say. Segues weren't his specialty. "Listen, this uh, this project that you gave us. It means a lot."

Hana looked up at him, intrigued.

"It feels good to… get back on track," he explained. "Taking control. I appreciate the vision you had for the whole thing. I wouldn't have thought about it if you didn't."

She nodded. "Don't mention it. I'm glad the team is putting in good effort into the project. Next up is pitching the idea—"  
"—Yeah yeah, we all know how it works," Yuuto rolled his eyes. Hana exhaled and shook her head. The guy did not care much for seniority or customs. "Did you need help with that investing project?" he asked.

Hana shook her head. "It's a solo thing," she explained. "I can handle it."  
Yuuto-san looked at her skeptically, and to be honest, Hana wasn't even offended. She too, questioned her own abilities. Hana gave him a glare to tell him that it was an appropriate time to take his leave before she grew even more irritated.

"Is it true you're stepping down as the heir?" he turned around before heading out the door. Hana narrowed her eyes at the question and relaxed. There was no point in pitching a fit right now. It gave her no advantage.

"No," she answered without hesitation. She locked eyes with him, daring him to challenge her position at the office. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, your poor profit margins that you just admitted to and… the internet, mostly," he answered.

Hana raised an eyebrow, clearly unamused by his answer.

"Why did you quit modelling?"  
"May I remind you that I'm your boss and we are to maintain a professional relationship?" she avoided the question.  
The employee shrugged. "You could've taken the easy route."  
"Who said it was easy?" Hana growled. She wanted to push him out into the industry. Have him sit in a chair for hours getting his face dolled up and then place him in the cold wearing nothing but a dress and heels that would murder his toes after a long shoot. She would put him on a health regimen and surround him with people that would constantly berate his self-image. Hana had to credit her grandfather for keeping her mentally sane over the years. She was fit because of him, and she was born with genes that people would die for. She wouldn't have survived otherwise – there was nothing glamorous about the industry. Hana was not stupid enough to put herself through such torture for the rest of her life.

"You just have to stand there, don't you? And then get paid for it."  
"Come back to this office when you have something useful to report," the woman sternly said, ignoring his last comment.

It was a terrifying thing to know. How the public viewed her. How they saw her as some kind of mannequin still, even after all these years. How her former occupation still defined her, and that Hana was silly for not continuing with it. Hana was not one to look down upon modelling – models had difficult jobs and she had nothing but respect for them when she herself, had been through it too. But it was not for her, and not sustainable in the long run.

Hana sat on the floor of the fighting mat after a long day. She was angry at herself, mostly. She wasn't doing anything productive, in fact she couldn't even properly do the job that she had studied so many years for. On top of that, she wasn't an heir. She was just some fake impostor with a pretty face. It bothered her to no end.

She would have thrown one last punch but she was exhausted. She buried her face in her hands, trying to think of solutions.

What would increase profits? Time. She needed time. How would she stop being seen as a useless pawn? She needed to prove herself worthy. But that also required time and who knows, what if it never happens? The fact that she would never really reach success? That she had already plateaued at her potential.

Hana tensed at the sliding of the doors. In poked his spiky hair, and he was still wearing his work clothes. His eyes softened at the look of her, she looked dead beat. It was a little past 8 PM. It wasn't late yet.

"Did he call you?" Hana grumbled. She grew annoyed at how her grandfather always seemed to inform Takashi when he wanted her home. "He needs to stop that. He has my number and I have my cell on me. You're not my babysitter, Takashi."

He stayed silent and let her slowly get up. She reluctantly gathered her things in her gym bag and led him out of the door. She had her hair up in a high ponytail that swung from side to side. She didn't want to talk today. She wanted to be left alone. Takashi could understand that so he quietly followed her home without mentioning a word.

"You can go home, Takashi," she quietly said, knowing fully well that he was still behind her. He didn't budge. Hana turned around and frowned.

"You must've had a long day too," she murmured. "You don't have to do this."

He only shrugged. It only made her feel guiltier. He didn't have to take time to walk home some sulky brat who had a bad day. It wasn't fair to him.

"Do I have to shoo you away?" Hana was losing the energy to even bother yelling at him. It came out of her throat as more of a plea than a threat.

Mori opened his briefcase and quietly pulled out a single daisy. He picked it up on the way home. Takashi had hoped that it would make her feel better, but tears began welling up in her eyes and he wasn't sure what he had done to make her this way.

She sniffed. Hana couldn't help the tears in her eyes. It was an involuntary response to feeling terrible after a long day and then guilty for dragging him along after he came back from work. And now he held out a daisy for her to try to make her feel better when all she could do is cry because she couldn't even prove herself to be a worthy partner, much less an heiress. She felt so small and useless.

"I'm sorry," Takashi blurted out. He didn't know what triggered such a response.

"No," Hana shook her head. "It's not you. It's um," she struggled for an explanation. "Allergies." Hana choked out a small laugh at how she wasn't even fooling herself with that response. "Really… really bad, allergies," she tried explaining.

"Are you allergic to daisies?" His eyes widened. He had no idea.

Hana couldn't hold back a smile even if she tried. He was absolutely adorable. She wiped away the tears and held herself together. She took the daisy out of his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'm not allergic to any flower," Hana mumbled. "It was just a really bad day. I didn't think I was going to cry. I'm the one who is sorry. Sorry for being sweaty and gross, sorry for making you come all the way to the dojo and having to walk me home. I'm sorry for being me," she rambled. "You really don't have to do these things," Hana added.

"I like… doing them," he sheepishly replied, keeping her in his arms. "I don't mind."  
"You're too much," Hana shook her head. "I honestly don't deserve you."  
"You deserve the sun and the stars," Takashi reminded. "I think you deserve it all."

She could only sigh and nod.

Maybe one day.

* * *

Hiro called his sister the day before the engagement party.

"You got the invite, right?"

Hana was on her way home from work, still on the tails of tracking the European market. She wasn't planning on attending the engagement party for Tamaki and Haruhi, mostly because it wasn't in her place to. Besides, she had stocks to track over the night.

"Mori's gonna be there," Hiro grinned. "So you gotta come."

Hana made a noise of uncertainty. "Um, I don't… I don't think it's appropriate for me. I'm not even sure how I got the invite, I'm not even close to your friends."  
"You're close to Mori," Hiro dragged out the name to tease her. "And Tamaki is very inclusive. The more the merrier."

Hana sighed. "I'm busy with work and—"  
"Kyouya will be there too! You can steal kisses with Mori _and_ talk business with the Ootori. It's basically a win-win," her brother tried his best to convince his sister to come.

"Yeah but," the younger sister was still not convinced. "It's going to be weird, you know? They don't know me."  
"Oh, they know you! They ask about you, sometimes," Hiro assured. "Tamaki just called me a few minutes ago to ask if you had gotten their invite. They're nice, Hana. They won't bite. I'm sure it'll be a great time."

Hana honestly didn't want to go. It wasn't that she had anything against Hiro's friends, it was more that she wanted to spend her weekend quietly as she usually did. It gave her a little bit of peace before she went back to hell.

"You can come with Mori, okay?" Hiro pleaded.  
"I don't think Takashi knows about me being invited," Hana sighed.  
"Please, Hana? Do it for your big brother," he begged. "I don't have much time here before I head back to New York." He played the card that he knew would make her come around. The sister reluctantly agreed and texted Takashi to see if he was going.

Hana found herself walking through the park over to his place the next afternoon, in her mauve chiffon dress. It perfectly accentuated her back in a deep V, while cascading down to the ground with slits for her legs to move. Hana hadn't dressed up like this in quite some time. Her makeup was done heavily to produce smoky brown eyes, with neutral lips. Her hair was braided to the side with a delicate floral headpiece that attached to the crown of her head. It was a perfect summertime outfit for a formal event.

Takashi had always imagined her like this in the forest, like a nymph that spoke to small forest creatures while attracting all the beautiful butterflies that followed her around. She was so incredibly breathtaking to him; he couldn't believe it when she walked down the paved pathway towards his home in her strappy heels.

"Hello Takashi," she greeted him when she reached his doorstep. They waited for their ride. Tamaki was sending over a car for the two.  
"Hi," was all he could make out.

He was dressed in his regular get up for formal events. Skinny tie, blazer, and dress pants paired with oxfords. His hair was swept up, instead of letting his hair fall flat like he usually did. Hana noticed a slight crook in his tie and wordlessly fixed it. He couldn't help but to have his breath hitch for a second, she was so close. The fact that he smelled like jasmine flowers didn't help his case.

She patted down his blazer and smiled up at him.

"You look nice," Hana complimented. She wouldn't have minded seeing him like this more often.  
"You," Takashi cleared his throat. "You as well."

She kissed his cheek in thanks. He wasn't sure why he stood in place, frozen in this position. He was just absolutely smitten. It wasn't like he hadn't kissed her before. He couldn't even reach out to her. When she saw him looking at her like an idiot, she chuckled and cautiously took his hand – as if asking if it would be okay for her to do so.

Of course it was.

"You alright, Takashi?" she asked in concern. He seemed a little stiff.  
"Yeah," he gulped. "You're just… you're beautiful."

It wasn't like she hadn't heard that phrase before. Hell, she grew up hearing things like that. But it was enough to make her blush, anyway. Maybe it was just him. She tried to play it cool but the grin on her face was permanently stuck to her face.

"Thanks," she replied, still trying to keep herself together. He kissed her on the temple, after working up the courage to do so and pulled her closer to him. She welcomed it, nuzzling her nose in his neck and laughing to herself. They must've been awful to watch from afar.

"We're going to have to tone this down," Hana chuckled. "Might be toosickening for your friends to watch."

He held her a little tighter in response. Takashi would relish in the moment for a little while longer before they had to come apart before the teasing from his friends. Mostly just the Twins, and maybe some exuberant comments from Tamaki. Takashi had to agree with Hana that it would be something they both would prefer to avoid.

But until then, he was allowed to have her kiss him along the jaw until she found his lips. And he was allowed to pull her towards him and not let go.

* * *

Hana was expecting a large party with a ton of socialites but to her surprise, it was a rather intimate setting with just the Host Club. Word seemed to have got out that Hana and Mori were together, but no one made much of a big deal about it. It was definitely Hiro's big mouth that got her invited to the event.

Tamaki of course, was just as excessive as she had remembered him to be. Haruhi on the other hand, had changed quite a bit. While she still sported the short hair, mostly out of convenience, she was in Law School now. The two were an unlikely pair from what Hana had seen, but they complimented each other wonderfully.

From the shadows had Kyouya checking his tablet and Hana couldn't help but to smirk.

"Never off work, are we now?" Hana called out to him. The Ootori did not look up from the screen but instead, answered with another question.  
"How's that investment board coming along?" Kyouya smirked. He wasn't expecting any great news, if any at all. He knew that Hana was not making much progress. It was only logical.

But Hana only shrugged. "That stock you were tracking," she avoided his question. She had been tracking the same one and she could see it from behind him. "It's going to tank in a bit."

The Ootori raised an eyebrow before turning to her. "And what evidence do you have to prove your evaluation?"

Hana smiled. "Do you not trust me?" Of course he didn't.  
"No, I trust the evidence," the Ootori pointed out.  
"Fair enough. I'd tell you but – you don't trust me," Hana smirked. "It's fine. I'm not offended. We both have reasons to be weary of one another. Consider that tip to be free of charge."

The Ootori nodded.

"The Suoh has been looking into your company to provide a new hardware upgrade in the Ouran school system," Kyouya mentioned. "Nothing is free of charge, Hana." An eye for an eye. The Ootori was a fair man when it came to business.

Hana bowed out of respect. He was of the same age as her, technically. But if anything, she knew when to show her appreciation when it was appropriate. The Ootori nodded in acknowledgement. It was interesting to see how the tables had turned, when years ago he had been giving _her_ the financial advice. And now, she was the one who, he was reluctant to admit, was better at what he did.

The Ootori was quick to sell a good portion of his shares, but kept a bit just in the off chance that she was incorrect. Better to be safe than to risk it all.

Hana made her way over to Tamaki. He was truly a conversationalist and it was certainly easy to segue into what he really needed from her. The true reason why her presence was required.

Hana wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"I heard from Kyouya that you needed to upgrade Ouran's system," Hana was careful to keep her tone light. It was not a business meeting. She was not at the negotiation table. It was a casual offer.  
"Argh, Kyouya's always the one to ruin my tactics," Tamaki whined. "I was hoping that I didn't have to ask so crudely."

She shook her head. "I would be happy to look into it for you. I'm sure Hiro already gave you my number."

They shook hands to tentatively close the deal. Hana would be the one to make sure that this sale would go smoothly. Mori could only watch as she worked her way across the room. First with Kyouya as they discussed business, which promptly ended with what looked like a devilish smirk from the Shadow King. Hana made her way over to Tamaki who was all smiles. She was incredible at her job and even though Takashi understood none of it, he couldn't help but to lean back and to appreciate her in her element.

"She's very charming," Haruhi noted. She had been standing by the quiet giant for some time, watching him watch her. He was fixated on her, and nothing else. It was rather sweet, like how Tamaki would look at her sometimes.

"Mhm," Mori agreed. And intelligent. Hardworking. Ambitious. Kind-hearted. He could go on.  
"How long have you two been together?" Haruhi asked.

To be honest, Takashi couldn't quite place a finger on it. They were together long before they realized they were truly meant to be together. It was an oddly complex question.

"A while," was all he could answer with.  
"Ah," Haruhi nodded. "She brings… a warmth to the room." Hana networked her way across the place, and while she was only doing her job as a businesswoman, there was something uninhibited about her. Her smile was genuine and her intentions were pure. She was cautious and weary of the potential outcomes, but nonetheless, she was a breath of fresh air. Hana set out to be a genuine person who had no ulterior motives. She made sure to make others feel content, and was willing to play along with the games of the Twins while still having the patience to deal with Tamaki's extravagance.

"Are you happy?" his friend asked.  
He could only nod. "Yeah." _Really_ happy. So happy. He was just happy watching her.

"I'm glad," she smiled. "I'm happy you're happy. Tamaki was very curious to see her again. You two fit."  
Mori nodded in thanks. Haruhi patted him on the arm and told him that she'd see him around.

Hiro came up from behind him, trying to scare the big giant. But it wasn't happening. Mori only nodded at him to say hello. Hiro grumbled to himself about how he was too short to be intimidating to the man. They both stood on the sidelines for a minute, watching Hana joke with the Twins about something about the fashion industry.

"She's been struggling, you know?" Hiro's voice was stern. He watched her laugh with the Twins. "I don't know how I can help as a big brother. I can't tell her to quit her job, and I'm not in Japan for most of the year. So that job is yours, alright? Take care of my little sister."

Mori nodded in understanding. Hiro was asking him as her older brother. He trusted him. It was an honour, really.

"Do you love her?" Hiro was not playing around. Not his usual self. Hiro would never let his sister get hurt, especially if he could help it. Hana had a difficult time as it was with the family, and Hiro refused to have her heart be toyed with.

Takashi glanced down to the older brother. They locked eyes, and Mori nodded his head. He was not the one for words and Hiro had to respect that.

"You should tell her that," Hiro quietly reminded. "She should know."

Mori wasn't aware of this. Was she feeling insecure about them? It made him feel uncomfortable. It was difficult, piecing the words together to explain how she made him feel. How he cherished every moment he spent with her. How he didn't want to ever lose her. He never felt like she didn't feel the same about him. He thought it was a mutual understanding. Perhaps it wasn't, even after all this.

Meanwhile, Hana was across the room talking to the Twins.

"That dress was part of Versace's summer collection, wasn't it?" Hikaru eyed the woman from head to toe. It was a dress that she modelled for years ago. Part of her payment was monetary and but at other times, she was also paid through clothing in a sort of sponsorship. Although Hana left most of her designer clothes at the mansion, she held onto this one because she felt like it suited her figure best. It was an old dress now, from many seasons ago.

"It looks stunning on you still, Hana," Kaoru approved. "Of course, you are the one who makes the dress gorgeous."

Hana smiled and thanked the two.

"So what is this we hear about you returning back to our side of the pond?" the Twins smiled devilishly. They were both excited to hear rumours of Hana returning back to the modelling industry.

"Hm?" Hana was unsure of what they had meant. What pond? What side?  
"We haven't received any calls from your agency yet on any shoots to book?" Hikaru raised an eyebrow.

The woman kept a straight face and tried to be pleasant about the rumour still floating along.

"I'm officially retired from the modelling industry," Hana explained. "You won't be receiving any call for me to model in any shoot."

The Twins pouted in disappointment but shrugged it off. Hana didn't seem to be particularly eager about their talk on the fashion industry anyway. It wasn't surprising to have her politely turn down their offer.

"You should let the media know about that," Kaoru suggested. "Set the story straight once and for all."  
"You think so?" Hana was curious about the idea. She didn't like the spotlight, but if it would make this mess stop, then she would consider it.  
"Yeah," Hikaru shrugged. They've dealt with the media and had plenty of meetings with their PR team. They were aware of all the tips and tricks. "Better to stay ahead of the rumour mill by crushing them all in one go."

"I'm not interesting though," Hana admitted. "I'm an ex-model with a really boring job now," she half-joked.  
"Not if you… you know," Kaoru hinted. "Get married," Hikaru finished with a grin. "That'll be definitely news worth reporting."

Hana shook her head at that. "Not happening any time soon."  
"Oh? Not even to Kyouya?" the Twins smirked. "Or… Mori, perhaps?"

The woman smiled. "I'm sure you all know the answer to that one. But the point is, I have nothing to show for. The only thing the media is interested in is my former occupation and my pretty face."  
"All the better to do an interview with a magazine," Hikaru pointed out. "I'm sure we know a magazine that is looking to find powerful businesswomen to headline an issue sometime by the end of the year."

The Twins looked at each other and smiled. "We could put in a word for you."  
Hana shook her head and was embarrassed to have them do such a thing for her. "That's not necessary. If I'm featured, it would have to be by my own means."

The two laughed. "We aren't guaranteeing you an interview, Hana. But we know a couple people." They winked at her and left her to be. The Twins were a hassle to deal with at times, with their teasing and lewd jokes – but if they liked you, you were certainly going to reap the benefits of being friends with them.

Hana quietly made her way back to Mori's side, contemplating whether she could hold onto his hand. It was a little odd, having so many people around them and yet they were unsure of where they stood. Takashi took her hand instead and held onto it. His own little declaration that he was hers in front of his friends, and Hana couldn't help but to smile. She didn't ask for it, and she wasn't expecting it. But boy, did she feel great about it.

* * *

It was her first board meeting. She had a place beside the President, sitting alongside the long table of executives who gathered to discuss the state of the company over the past quarter. Hana sat through a long string of presentations, jotting down her own notes and trying to learn every last bit of the company.

She garnered a few looks from the men who sat on the board, mostly out of confusion to see that the heir was truly a young woman and not Hiro as they had thought. She could see it in their eyes that they were disappointed and unamused by the choice of heir. But nonetheless, Hana made sure to work up the courage to speak to the CFO. She found him at the elevator after the meeting, and bowed deeply to him to show her respect.

"I know this is long overdue, Tanako-san," she began. "But if are willing to take me under your wing, it would be an honour to learn from you."  
"Nonsense, silly girl," the man laughed. "You should be working under your father. It is not in my place." To be quite honest, there was nothing much to expect from her anyway. In a few years time, she would take over when she had enough experience and they would all be retired by then. She was not a problem that he would have to deal with in his lifetime.

Hana shook her head and pulled out her portfolio with the progress she had made with the President's investment. It was a hefty report, but it highlighted her work to the fullest degree.

"I went to school for Finance, not Business Administration," Hana answered. "This is my work over the past three months. Please do take a look at it."

She bowed again as she watched him get onto the elevator. Hana hoped that what she had done was enough. The plan was to have Yuuto-san take over the side project and have herself begin working under the CFO. As much as Yuuto-san irritated her, he was the best person to lead the team. She was nothing more than a figurehead, and Hana didn't see herself in Research and Development at the end of the day.

Hana was called up to the President's Office after a week. She had an inkling about what the meeting was about, though to be honest, it was never a pleasant time being in the same room with the President. The only thing she could surely expect was annoyance at the very least.

"Why did I get a call from Tanako-san about your portfolio?" the President cut to the chase. The girl took a deep breath and answered his question calmly.

"Because I gave it to him." Simple as that.

"And what do you think he was going to do with it? Offer you a job?"  
"That was the intention," Hana admitted.

"Why can't you sit still and just stay quiet? Why do you keep stirring things up?" he raised his voice, obviously annoyed by what Hana had done. He was never prepared for what the girl threw at him. Every time he had thought that she would sit and be quiet, she would rise and bark to no end.

"Is he offering me the job or not?" Hana did not care for anything else.  
"He called asking if it would be alright to have you work under him," the President gritted his teeth. He had nothing against the CFO, in fact they had been business partners for decades. He just did not expect him to take an interest in someone as worthless as this child who had nothing to show for.

"It's quite alright with me," Hana answered.  
"It's not in your place to decide," he refused. "Who are you to go off to work for someone other than—"  
"It's technically a good idea to allow the heir to diversify their skills around the company," she pointed out. "It builds better relations with the rest of the employers and the board."

The President could not argue with that. But the sight of her made his blood broil with anger. How she did not deserve a cent of his company and yet she was beginning to ascend to higher ranks without him even being able to control the woman.

"An executive sees potential in me, and yet you can't see it in your own daughter?" Hana threw a dagger at him. She hit him at the weakest point each time. How he could not bear to see the success of someone that was not truly his own. What was she to him? The ultimate symbol of betrayal?

"Because you aren't!" he hollered. He froze in his place and watched as Hana's eyes widened. It felt like a jolt to her stomach. This was a scenario she hadn't planned for. It was a stand-off between the pair, neither of the two willing to back down.

Hana was the calmer one. She had known this fact for years. But it was still a strange feeling to hear it being said out loud.

"Well then," Hana tried to keep herself together. "What do you want me to do about it? I won't back down. You know I won't."  
"This corporation was never yours," the man seethed. "You aren't allowed to have it."  
"Then why did you put me in this position?!" Hana raised her own voice. "You are never satisfied. No matter what I do in this company. Of course I don't deserve it. I never wanted it. But I still come to work every day. I still put in every ounce of effort to appear worthy to be an heir, at no expense of your own reputation or the company's. Why do I even bother?"

"That's right," the President scowled. "Why do you bother?"  
"Because I was raised to uphold honour… by a man who had no obligation to treat me like his own," Hana shook her head. "I am not an ungrateful little brat who knows nothing of the things you have provided for me. You could have disowned me long ago. You could have divorced her. You could have done it all. I lose sleep every night trying to figure out why you didn't. I just didn't understand why you would put yourself through the pain and regret. The anger and the bitterness. So tell me: why do _you_ bother?"

The President breathed heavily, trying to lower his blood pressure as he began feeling light headed. He was furious at her words, and all he could see was the anger in her eyes. She stood silently, with the narrowed eyes and icy glare that did not cease for a single second.

"Honour," he spat. "I did it for honour." For the sake of the family, for their reputation, for their business. He could have thrown it all away if he had acted on his own reckless decisions. But everything became a calculated series of steps for the greatest profit and highest respect from his business partners. He strived for greater things in life than petty familial relationships.

"Then I guess we both are on the same page," Hana whispered. "Let's not pretend what we are not. We are mere business partners. Work until you die if you're so willing to keep the company – but do not dare threaten me. Do not think you can control me like a pawn. I will play the game and I will beat you at it."

"Is that a threat?" he growled.  
"Only if you think it is. Consider it a warning at the very least," Hana answered. "I'm not here to stir things up in this company. Whether you believe my intentions or not – I don't care. Let me do my job. Let me uphold the honour that you cherish so deeply. But in return, you let me live the way I choose to."

"I want results," the President demanded. She wanted to be treated like a business partner, then so be it.  
"You will get results," the young woman assured. "Ask Tanako-san for updates. I don't care. I know what I am capable of. My current team has a new product that they are looking to launch. They are well to do on their own without me when I transfer over to a new department. Everything has been settled, sir." She added.

The President exhaled and had his eyes narrowed still. He took a long hard look at what others believed to be his daughter. She truly was a woman that he could not underestimate. She was raised with such ferocity in her eyes that there was no doubt it was his own father's doing.

This had been the only productive meeting with her thus far. It was a reluctant partnership that he did not enjoy, but she meant business and so did he. They could be on the same page when it came to business.

"You start in two weeks," he decided. "Take care of any loose ends."  
"Yes, sir," Hana bowed and left.

* * *

Hana had no appetite these days. Today especially, when Sawada-san noticed that his granddaughter had barely made a dent in her rice. She was staring off into space. What was wrong with the child?

"Oi," he tried to catch her attention by snapping at her. "Eat something, won't you? I didn't cook for nothing."

She nodded and took a small bite of the minced vegetables.

"What the hell is wrong?" the elder grumbled.

Hana looked up at her grandfather. He had aged immensely. Wrinkles began to grow deeper into his skin, his limp was getting more apparent but his voice was still sharp as ever when he barked at her. His hair grew to be snow white nowadays and his dexterity was certainly not as accurate as it had been years ago. He was much too old to be doing anything strenuous but he still insisted on walking the damn dog twice a day.

"He… knows," Hana murmured. "I mean, he'd always known that I wasn't his daughter. But… he said it aloud today. I just, sometimes I wonder… why? Why keep me? Why… not cut me off once I turned eighteen? Why is he doing this to me? It brings neither of us joy. I don't think he is enacting on some kind of revenge plot just to see me unhappy."

The elder relented and put down his chopsticks.

"And you too," Hana whispered. "Why do you let me stay? I'm… just a mistake that no one really wanted in the first place. A big secret that no one wanted to let out… and I've gotten this far."

"How dare you talk about yourself like that, Hana?!" her grandfather scolded.  
"But it's true!" the granddaughter sighed. No matter what she thought, she couldn't put the pieces together. "Why did you raise me when you fully knew that I wasn't his?"

The grandfather stayed silent for a moment.

The young woman sighed. "It's not that I'm not grateful for you, Ojii-san. Sometimes I just want answers."

The elder sighed.

"You were my second chance at parenting," he admitted. "The first time around was… difficult. I had to work to keep the family fed and to send him to school, and then his mother died when he was in university. When I finally settled down, he was beginning to take off in his company. It was a whirlwind of events."

"But why not… Hiro?" Hana murmured. Her brother was every bit of his grandchild than she would ever be.

"Hana, you were born a female," Sawada-san shook his head. "You had a disadvantage straight from the start. Hiro did not. With your big brown eyes looking up at me at the hospital… how could one not think to protect you at all costs?"

Hana shrugged. "Don't you feel that way with any other baby? I'm no exception."  
"No," Sawada-san shook his head. "From the minute I held you, the second you locked eyes with me, I knew it was impossible. Hiro had the backing of the family as the first born heir. You had nothing. When you were five and the paternity results came out… I knew you had absolutely nothing against the world."

Hana closed her eyes and looked away. "So you pitied me after all, hey?"  
"I loved you from the moment you were born, Hana. Do not confuse that with pity," Sawada-san warned. "You are my grandchild."

"So if he had known since I was five, why didn't he do something about it? Divorce my mother? Take me off of the family registry? Throw me away?!" Hana felt like being abandoned would have been a better option than to be trapped like this for the rest of her life.

The grandfather looked down.

"Because he knew how much I loved you."

 _Honour. I did it for honour._ Hana could hear the words ringing in her ears. To paint the man a villain would have been wrong. To begin understanding his perspective and reasoning was a difficult journey that Hana inadvertently embarked upon. It would have been easy to call him selfish and greedy for money, for keeping the company in his own hands at the expense of his own family.

But he wasn't like that.

How Hana wished that the world was black and white, but instead she was faced with a bleak colour of grey wherever she looked.

* * *

 **A/N** : It's a long hard journey for Hana and I hope you don't find it too be tedious to read. I believe that insecurity is always an underlying feeling that never quite goes away in your young adult years. As for Hana's "father", he was certainly quite one-dimensional in previous chapters - hoping to change that now. I'd like to believe that growing up and maturing goes hand in hand with developing empathy. As always, your thoughts are always appreciated. I'm trying to make up for the lack of updates throughout the year by trying to churn out as much as I can in between prepping for school again and balancing a social life.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Hana settled into her new environment at work surrounded by those who were suddenly much more experienced in her field than she had thought. She was certainly the newbie around the office and she had much to learn.

Only this time around, everyone was on their toes about having the President's daughter around the office. Many were unsure whether or not they were allowed to approach the young woman, and others were just confused as to why she would be in the finance department. Hana had to make the effort to seem knowledgeable without overstepping her boundaries. She was not here to show off, she was here to work amongst everyone else.

People stopped questioning her abilities when they noticed her putting in the effort to learn. Hana took the time to learn everyone's names and their places within the department. She was part of the team to establish the investment board.

There was always going to be a sort of rift between her and the rest of the members, but Hana had come to accept that she was unfortunately, never going to shake off the reputation of being the President's daughter. She was never invited to after-work outings, and she had no interest in joining them either.

Hana liked the routine she settled into. Go to work. Get assigned a job. Work on the task. Don't disappoint your co-workers. Come home. Take care of her grandfather. It began turning into clockwork and soon enough, the seasons were beginning to change.

Takashi was getting busier now that school began picking up again, he balanced between lesson prepping and writing his thesis while taking shifts at the library. He saw her less and less than he had over the summer, but there were times when their walks home coincided after work.

"How are your students?" Hana asked.  
He shrugged. The term had just begun. "Too early."  
"Ah," Hana nodded in understanding. "Can I come visit you?" she asked, looking up at him.

He looked at her confusedly. She wouldn't have the time to visit him, especially when she had a job herself. Hana smiled and squeezed his hand in assurance.

"I heard from Morinozuka-san that you were teaching night classes. I can make it to those, I think."  
"Thursdays," he told her. "7 to 9."  
"Okay," Hana took note of that. "I'll try not to intrude. Is it a first year class?"  
He nodded. He wasn't given the permission to teach more sophisticated classes anyway. He was only a TA who ran tutorials or seminars, with the occasional lecture when his supervisor needed someone to fill in.

"Morinozuka-san is holding his tea ceremony for the fall, no?" Hana remembered.  
Takashi's grandfather always held tea ceremonies. It was a tradition that he attended nearly every year with his sibling and cousins, but it soon dwindled into just him and his grandfather's close friends. He figured that Hana's grandfather must have been invited, and naturally the invitation extended to her. Mori vaguely remembered Hana attending the tea ceremony when she was much younger, somewhere in the shadows on one of the few weekends they did not spar.

"Yes," Mori confirmed. "Will… I see you there?" He figured that she might have been bogged down with work, as usual.

Hana nodded and smiled. "It's been years since I had worn my kimono. I tried it on last week and it seems that I had outgrown the fabric. Ojii-san was annoyed that we had to go shopping for a new one but he seemed to enjoy himself, regardless."

Mori couldn't remember what she had looked like in her kimono from years ago. He was curious to see her tomorrow, and as per usual, he was always excited to see her. She kissed him on the cheek before leaving him at his own and bid him goodnight.

 _Do you love her?_

He watched her leave, listening to her footsteps move farther away from him. Her ponytail swung from side to side, her handbag on her arm while her posture was perfect. It was likely from years of learning to walk down the catwalk properly that it just turned into a habit. But even from afar, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

 _You should tell her that. She should know._

Takashi wished that it was as easy as it seemed. To just _tell_ her that he loved her. So much. He wasn't afraid of her feelings not being reciprocated, he knew that she held him of the same importance as he did to her. It just didn't seem like it was a necessary thing to do. They didn't have to validate their feelings verbally.

Or did they?

This was new territory to him. He wasn't sure how to navigate these new things. He believed that they had established a foundation of trust and understanding, both of which were silent. Hiro made him uneasy, as after all – a brother would know his sister best.

* * *

Hana had never tied an obi properly. The last time she had put on a kimono was more than a decade ago. She struggled to gather the fabric behind her back and to fold it into a neat bow. The fabric of her kimono was a silky navy blue that shone beneath the light with its intricate detailing that was only noticeable up close.

 _Darker colours for the colder months, Hana._ Her grandfather had picked out the iromuji himself, and Hana's eyes widened at the price.

 _No,_ _how about this one?_ It was of a similar colour, the fabric was not silk but it would do the same job. There was no need for anything too fancy. She liked the dark blue, it was very calming. It reminded her of the ocean. It reminded her of him. He wondered if he would like seeing that colour on her.

 _Nonsense. Don't pick something of inferior quality! You cannot embarrass me at the tea ceremony, Hana._

 _Ojii-san, that's too expensive,_ the granddaughter explained.

 _Who said you were paying?_

 _I did,_ the granddaughter frowned. _I make my own money._

 _No, Hana. Let me do this, just once. Go on, try it on,_ he ushered.

Hana found herself staring at the mirror, her kimono half on and her arms tired from trying to get the damn sash tied correctly. The lady at the store had done it in a matter of minutes while Hana had been standing in her room struggling for the past fifteen.

"Oi, what's taking so long? We're going to be late," her grandfather called.  
"I can't tie my obi!" she answered, yelling across the house. She immediately heard footsteps and the door opening.

"You idiot, you told the lady at the store that you knew what you were doing," Sawada-san grumbled.  
"It looked easy when she did it!" Hana pouted.  
"You've been gone far too long and now you can't even tie your own obi," her grandfather scolded. His hands were already at work, helping his granddaughter put together the final touches of her kimono. "What are you going to do when I'm gone?"

She shrugged. "Walk out with… a poorly tied obi, I guess?" Hana quickly tied her hair up into a bun and made sure her makeup was on point. It was nothing too exciting. Just some eyeliner and a nude lip colour. It was to not draw too much attention to herself as the ceremony was the important event. It would be the second one that she attended in her lifetime.

"You'll have to learn to do it yourself, Hana," the grandfather mumbled after he was finished.  
"I don't get many opportunities to wear a kimono, Ojii-san."  
"Then go out more and wear your damn kimono," the grandfather rolled his eyes.

He took a good look at her granddaughter. She had grown to into an adult so quickly. Suddenly she didn't fit in her old kimono and now she was going off into the world, conquering whatever she did at work. He was too old to learn what she did. He could only relish in the moments that he could see her grow and develop into a fine young woman. He was proud that he had raised such a warrior. Sawada-san knew that his time on earth was coming to a close and still, she was one of his greatest accomplishments.

Being a parent was one of the most fulfilling jobs one could ever take upon.

* * *

Hana felt awkward in her shoes. She clunked her way to the ceremony, unable to keep her posture straight while she tried her best not to fall over with the sandals on her feet. It was an embarrassing sight, honestly. She tripped at the doorstep before the Morinozuka Tea House, right at the feet of Takashi who only smiled at her clumsiness.

Hana sighed and looked away.

"Good morning, Sawada-san," Takashi greeted. He gave a nod to Hana in acknowledgement. She shyly smiled back, still embarrassed at herself. There were a few other guests waiting outside before the ceremony was to begin and Hana's grandfather made his way to introduce his granddaughter to the crowd. Hana had always believed that he didn't have any other friends besides Takashi's grandfather, but she was wrong.

The ceremony began at noon. Hana followed the actions of everyone else, but was glad to have Mori beside her. They were ordered in seniority and Hana just so happened to be at the very end of the line as the youngest. The guests purified their hands and mouth by the tsukubai, a stone basin, before crawling through the door into the tea room.

The room was lined with tatami mats and tables that were carefully placed with utensils and tea cups for the ceremony. Hana sat down on the cushion with her knees tucked in and her feet behind her. She had hoped that her posture would not falter. It looked like it was going to be a long ceremony.

The host, Mori's grandfather, walked into the room when Hana settled down and greeted each guest. The chajii, a charcoal fire, was lit before the guests were served their meal in several courses. The last bit was accompanied by sake and a sweet. It was after the meal that all guests were to wait outside the tea room while preparations were done to clean up the room for the actual tea to be served.

The two young ones kept to themselves in a small corner as they waited patiently. He finally got a good look at her, since they had been seated side by side for the past hour or so. Her hair was in a tight bun, her makeup kept simple. She looked up at him and smiled.

"What are you looking at?" she was careful to keep her voice low, letting the rest of the elders mingle amongst themselves. Hana didn't want to attract any more attention than they already did, especially being the youngest ones at the tea ceremony.

"You," he answered honestly. There was something very humbling about seeing her in the traditional clothes. There really shouldn't have been any surprise. Mori was well aware of her physical features that were especially pleasing to his eyes. But seeing her in her iromuji was different.

Hana chuckled to herself and accepted his answer. He looked quite handsome in his own kimono. His broad shoulders were prominent through the fabric that squared off, with his sleeves which rose just a bit to show his veined forearms. He still towered over her, being well over 6 feet. Hana only reached a height of 5' 8", just tall enough to fit the mold of being a model. She didn't mind looking up to him, especially when he gave a small smile back at her.

There was something very special about seeing each other in their kimonos. Both were raised with traditional values and their culture ingrained deep in their upbringing. Traditional ceremonies like these gave them a sense of belonging, a way of bonding with their grandparents to another level. And now, a means of bonding with each other.

It was kind of silly when Mori thought about it. Why it felt so special to see her in her navy blue kimono and in minimal makeup. There was something sacred about it, seeing her in such a raw form. The iromuji she wore was plain, as the aesthetic appeal wasn't meant to take away from the ceremony itself. Yet even so, the intricacies he saw in the fabric, to the small strands of hair that began falling down to frame her cheeks, to her thin fingers that grasped onto the utensils – he liked it. Takashi embraced her in every form he could. He reached out to brush a loose strand of hair on her head before they were all called back into the tea room.

It was now the ritual of the thick tea, wherein each guest takes a sip from the bowl made by the host. Hana was the last of the guests and returned the bowl back to Morinozuka-san, praying that she wouldn't fall over during the journey. The hearth was relit, signifying a switch over to a new routine. Higashi was then brought out to pair with the thin tea prepared for each guest.

It was during this point in the ceremony where guests began to speak more comfortably. Hana and Mori stayed silent and let the elders catch up while they sipped on their thin tea, occasionally sneaking glances at each other.

"The two look like a good pair," they overheard.  
"Ah yes, with the dark blues. Was that intentional?" The elders laughed. Hana took a good look at the colour of her fabric and his.

They looked at each other and then back to their small table. Leave it up to Hana's grandfather to intentionally pick out the one colour that matched with Takashi's. She exhaled and shook her head.

"Are they looking towards marriage?"

Hana nearly choked on her piece of higashi and quickly reached for her cup to wash down the offending piece of mochi that slowly slid down her throat. Takashi was evidently more composed than she was, not even batting an eye at the comments made on the other side of the room. He watched Hana purse her lips to stay quiet.

"Ah, the great-grandchildren… would be nice to see, eh?"

Hana wanted to throw her tea bowl at her grandfather who made the last comment. Mori was quick to reach over to her wrist. His grip was gentle enough to tell her to relax. Hana let go of the cup and rolled her eyes. She would have to lecture her grandfather on the way home about the dumb shit he says to his friends.

"They're only joking," Mori whispered.

Hana raised an eyebrow at him. They sounded pretty genuine to her.

"Relax," he murmured. "Drink more tea." Takashi patted her back to keep her fiery temper at bay. He had to admit it was quite cute, even if she didn't want to seem that way. Perhaps it was the years of sparring that her glare no longer gave him chills. Hana exhaled and only narrowed her eyes before surrendering and taking another bite of the higashi sweet.

* * *

Hana was doing well under the new department. So much so that Tanako-san was pleased with the progress of her team, and her performance. Whether it was flattery or genuine effort, Hana was unsure what to think when she received a call to go up to the top floor to meet with the President after work. She was informed that it was a meeting to discuss her performance with Tanako-san and a few other board members. Perhaps now, she would actually seem like a capable candidate.

But evidently, it was a trap to have her eat with the President and two other board members who brought their sons along. Hana sat at the dinner table, mostly silent throughout the meal. She listened to the two men her age boast about their own accomplishments and their positions in the company.

It would have been rather condescending to say that Hana was better than the two boys her age, since she also landed the job with the connection of her father. Only now, she landed the job of being the heiress while they were only directors of a mere department. It was suffocating, honestly – knowing that she was on the same level as these people.

The level of privilege and entitlement that she was born into.

"So, Hana – what do you think about taking over the company?"

The heiress raised an eyebrow. "I believe it is a little early for that. But it would be an honour." Hana calmly answered Candidate 1. She forgot their first names already, and went off by the last names of the executives. But in her head, it was easier to number the two men who were trying hard to keep a conversation going. Candidate 1 was the one with dyed brown hair, Candidate 2 had glasses and a sharp jaw.

"How are you going to keep working when you have children? Surely, you'd need someone to take over the company for you," Candidate 2 interjected. He was obviously trying to become that person for her, the all-too-capable man who can do everything for her instead. He graduated from Stanford and was now the director of marketing in the company.

Hana gripped the knife in her right hand with so much force that her knuckles turned white. She put down her utensils and took a sip of water. _Cool and calm, Hana. Rise above the rage. The mountain never bows to the howling wind._

"I believe that is none of your concern," Hana gritted through her teeth.

"Hana is still young," the Sawada matriarch mentioned offhandedly. "There will be plenty of time for children in the future."  
"Not for long," the mother of Candidate 1 snidely disagreed.  
"Better to have them early – it would do terrible things to your body, especially as a model, if you wait too long," the other mother chimed in. The concern in her voice was as fake as her nose. Hana pursed her lips so she wouldn't scowl. Hana learned that it was better to keep a straight face. She wanted to give her cheeks a break from all the fake smiling.

The heiress waited five minutes before excusing herself from the room. They were on their last course. It was going to be dessert soon and it would all be over. Hana splashed some cold water onto her face, keeping herself awake and refreshed. She was lucky her makeup was waterproof.

Hana wanted nothing more than to run away. But she wasn't that little girl who did that. She had responsibilities and duties to uphold. There were no more excuses. She was an adult, and she was an heiress. Hana was now the face of the future for the corporation.

The face of the corporation walked into the room with poise and confidence, not afraid of the insults thrown at her. She would make it clear that this dinner would not faze her. Hana sat down at the dessert served in front of her.

"So Hana," Candidate 1 tried again at making conversation. "What hobbies do you have? I like to sail. Our family owns 4 yachts. I could take you on one, if you'd like," he grinned. Surely, that would have made Hana swoon.

Hana took a bite of the mousse cake and answered the question honestly. "I don't have any hobbies. My free time is dedicated to investments. I work hard to prove my place in this company."

"Oh no," the mother of Candidate 1 frowned. "As the President, you shouldn't be overworking your daughter like that. A child should be able to enjoy her youth by being able to go out. Our Aiba can take her out sometime." She patted the shoulder of her son and smiled, thinking Hana would be quick to take on that offer.

Hana looked at the President. He wasn't going to defend his daughter and Hana quite honestly preferred his silence. It just another opportunity for her to speak for herself.

"It's not his fault," Hana was quick to respond. "But rather the fault of society who doesn't take me seriously enough as a businesswoman."

The executives laughed nervously. "Hana, we take you very seriously as the heir to the corporation," they assured. Hana was not amused by their comment but let it go. Tonight would never end if she kept making passive-aggressive comments. The dinner ended with fake smiles as the Sawada family sent off the other two families home.

Hiro had gone back to New York already, which only left the three remaining Sawadas at the dinner table. They were in a private room in an upscale restaurant. Hana stood up, ready to leave without a word before she was called to sit back down by her mother.

"So what do you think?" Hana's mother was eager to hear her daughter's thoughts on the potential candidates. "We can set up—"

Hana ignored her mother and locked eyes with the President.

"I believe my job is done here, Sir. Good night," Hana bowed before getting ready to take her leave. The President only nodded and agreed. They were business partners. There was no need to pretend. The dinner was just as suffocating for him as it was for Hana. Him being showered with disingenuous flattery and Hana being degraded as someone destined as a housewife. He was only dragged into this because his wife was eager to get on the train of matchmaking.

"What is this S _ir_? He's your father, Hana. Treat him with respect!" Hana's mother scolded.

The daughter sighed and grabbed her handbag. It was getting late and she was tired. She hadn't missed the closing of the LSE so she would even be tracking that on the way home. Hana deserved a hot shower and some sleep after this mess.

"Hana! Don't you dare leave this room! Who do you think you are with that scowl on your face throughout the night? These guests were genuinely interested in having you as a potential daughter-in-law and you treat them like—"

It would have been easy to run away again. Walk through the doors and let her mother yell at her back while she left. Hana turned around. She was not allowed to run away anymore. She was not a child. She would prove that.

"Stop pretending," Hana tried to save her mother some dignity. "We aren't a family."

Hana's mother froze in her place. It felt like glass shattering inside her body, the truth being said aloud with all three of them in one room. She wasn't prepared for this. Hana's mother had always assumed that they would carry on their lives like a family, even if they were all pretending. It felt like reality had crashed down upon her.

"I would kindly ask that you leave me out of these dinners or whatever blind dates you think of setting me up with," Hana added. "Unless it is strictly business-related, I have nothing to do with you."

"Excuse me? I'm your mother!" she hollered. How dare her own daughter say she had nothing to do with the woman who gave birth to her.

"Too late for that, don't you think?" the daughter shrugged. "I don't need to be mothered. I need to be mentored. Tanako-san is doing a good job thus far," Hana informed the President. "I am learning a lot. I do appreciate the opportunity you've given, Sir."

The man nodded. He had heard good things about her. But he was still waiting for results. He needed profits, he needed those numbers to turn into something greater. Hana had proven nothing but potential thus far. The President could respect her as an employee, one of a special case. But an employee, nonetheless.

Hana bowed deeply out of respect, despite her mother claiming that she had none of it. She walked out of the room exhausted and ready to collapse.

* * *

Hana took a lot of pride in her independence. So when Mori asked her what was on her mind during their weekends together in his study, Hana was quick to shake her head and tell him nothing. She went back into analysing the data on her laptop while he only watched her avoid his question.

Takashi was not the kind of person to pry. But it was still a little disappointing to have her pretend it was alright. It only made him feel less secure about what they had. Why was she being so closed off? Was it because of him? What was he doing wrong? Did he not give enough?

Questions began forming at the back of his mind. Takashi knew that his worries were silly, but he couldn't help but wonder. What if he was never going to be enough for her?

Hana looked up from her screen to see Takashi zoning out. He was in the midst of planning a lesson and he wasn't usually the kind of person to zone out – he was very cognisant of his surroundings. Takashi was more of a perfectionist than expected; each of his lesson plans were outlined in high detail so as to ensure that no information was left out. He took a lot of time to craft his lessons and seminars with deep focus.

"You okay, Takashi?" she asked.  
"Hm?" he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Is something bothering you?" Hana couldn't quite tell what it was that bothered him, but she sensed that something was a little out of the ordinary.

He didn't want to lie to say no, but Hana was quick to place a hand on his arm and looked up at him with a concerned expression. It was like she knew that he was going to lie. The gesture wasn't accusatory or any thing of that sort, but it was more of a small nudge in reminding him that she wasn't here to judge nor pry if he didn't want to tell her.

"You," he told her.  
"Me?" Hana was surprised to hear that. "I bother you?"  
"You don't tell me what's wrong," Takashi confessed. "It worries me."

Hana put down her laptop and scooted closer to the man who had his back against his bookshelf. They usually worked in silence across from each other. She gently took the pen out of his hand and the notebook resting on his leg to place them on the ground so he could focus solely on her. Her arm naturally found its way around his own, with their hands intertwined.

"I don't want you to have to listen to my silly problems," Hana admitted. "I don't want you to worry about things that you don't have to worry about, Takashi. You have your thesis and your own job to think about."

"And you," he added. Mori squeezed her hand. "I want to think about you, too."  
"Of course, I want you to think about me," she smiled up at him and kissed him on the cheek. "But not… my struggles. My imperfections. My emotional baggage. I don't want you to experience those."

Takashi shook his head. "I want to. I _need_ to," he insisted.  
Hana laughed a little to herself, that was so strange. "Why?" Why would anyone willingly put themselves through the agony that their partner was in? To experience the distress that she did? Perhaps most of all, Hana didn't want him to run away. To judge her for the way she handled her problems, the thoughts that went through her head. It was irrational, and she knew it. Hana knew that she couldn't keep up a perfect image, but she still wanted to.

She still wanted him to fall in love with her. Hana didn't want Takashi to see her in the way she did. Hana was still that lost person from years ago, even if she didn't want to be. Hana wished she was more mature. She didn't want him to know how she treated her mother, how cruel and cold she could honestly be. She didn't want him to know how she had looked at her pretend father all these years, as a greedy capitalist with no intent of having any care for his family. Hana saw herself as an inconsiderate brat with no right to be called honourable. Hana was so terribly selfish.

And Takashi was bound to find out about these flaws.

"I don't want to fight you," Takashi whispered. He grazed his thumb over her hand, and kissed her on the forehead. "I want to fight _with_ you against whatever it is."

The woman shook her head and smiled weakly. She appreciated his sentiment. "You can't fight with me. This isn't your fight."  
"Then at least let me tend to your wounds and bruises, Hana," he murmured in her ear.

Hana sat in silence for a minute, resting her head on his shoulder before looking up at him. Takashi pleaded with his eyes to tell him what was wrong. She let out a long sigh.

"I don't want you to think… I'm a terrible person," she mumbled. "I'm not… perfect. I don't want you to run away and even though I can't make you stay, I just don't… want to ruin us."  
"I'll stay," he assured. "I promise."

She nodded, pulling him close so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Hana missed how he held her. He held her tight, calming her with the way he patted her back. He could feel her breathing slow, her whole body relaxing under his grip. Hana felt truly at home, at peace. Her worries were dampened temporarily. Hana couldn't have asked for anybody else, or anything else.

"I love you," she whispered. "I honestly, genuinely do. I don't know why it took me so long to tell you, but I do."

Hana pulled away, afraid that that might have been too much for a day. Even though it felt right to say, the timing certainly seemed a little random. Takashi blinked, unsure if he had heard right. Hana took it as a look of shock and smiled sheepishly, trying to reassure him.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I didn't… expect myself to say that. I don't expect you to say it back or anything. I just um, I'm sorry," Hana stuttered, running a hand through her hair, obviously embarrassed at herself and looked away.

Takashi shook his head. "No, don't be. Um," he too, was flustered. His heart was beating terribly fast, it was embarrassing. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and there would be no return. Why was it that he froze at such an important moment? He couldn't choke out the right words to express how he felt. How reassuring it was to hear her say it, even though Takashi had been wracking his own brain on how to say it himself.

He reached out to Hana and kissed her deeply. He pulled her closer by the waist and rested his hand on her neck. Takashi made sure that she knew he felt the exact same, letting his lips meet hers over and over again until Hana laughed before she pulled away from him.

"Okay," Hana nodded with a smile. "Not sorry anymore."  
He pecked her on the lips again and smiled. "Good."

Hana didn't need him to say it. She knew from the way he looked at her, the way he unapologetically would walk her home and the flowers he would bring, the way he held her hand and her as a whole. Hana was well aware of how he felt about her.

She so badly wanted to keep it like this. Hana was afraid that it wouldn't last. Like every time she was with him was a dream that was bound to end. But his low chuckle brought her back to the present. He ran his fingers through her hair as he grazed her cheek. Hana grinned back and refused to let the thoughts consume her for the time being.

* * *

Takashi Sawada was growing old. He couldn't pick up things and had a hand tremor that caused him to lose grip occasionally. He had a slight limp. Hana noticed these oddities growing more prominent over the past few months and continuously got yelled at whenever she tried getting him to go to the doctor's. While his body was no longer in shape, his brain and voice certainly did not grow old with him. Hana could only sigh and keep up with the household chores so her grandfather wouldn't have to struggle to do them.

Hana occasionally told her grandfather about the happenings at work, to which he would only nod in approval.

"Go get 'em, Hana. Show them all what you're worth," he'd tell her. "Don't let people give you shit."

Hana would always roll her eyes at him but took his encouragement. Hana wondered what her grandfather did over the course of the day while she was gone. He'd always tell her that he would take Kaina out for a walk, and practice his calligraphy. He spent his time cooking for her while she was gone and occasionally listening to the radio. He would read newspapers too and go out for tea with his friends. He lived simply, but it was fulfilling to him.

Things were looking steady in the finance department. There was nothing particularly exciting, no big plans or news. But steady growth and stability was always good to hear. When Hana was called up to the President's office, she was prepared for another trap to go to a dinner set up by her mother. There was no need for the President and the heir to meet when he got monthly reports from the Finance Director. After all, they only met for superficial reasons and business-related appointments.

Hana was called into the office promptly after work. Out of respect, Hana showed up to the President and bowed. They hadn't seen each other since the dinner set up by her mother two months ago. Neither of the two were eager to meet again.

"Was there anything in the report that you wanted to discuss, sir?" the heiress was not one to beat around the bush, and the President had come to appreciate her straightforwardness despite the prickly start.

"No," the President admitted. "I've seen the progress." It was a good start, so far.  
"Ah," Hana was unsure what else to talk about. "Is there anything I can do for you, Sir?"

The man had a look of discomfort, as if he had things to talk about but was unsure how to. He cleared his throat.

"Your mother," he said, as if the two words were enough of an explanation to her. "She—"  
"—This is a topic that we both would much rather avoid," Hana could see it in his eyes and there was no mistaking the awkwardness that came with his words that he uttered. "Is there anything business-related that we need to discuss?" She wasn't here to talk about her mother, and neither was he.

The man exhaled and shook his head. He was meant to inform Hana of a dinner that she had to attend tomorrow night but there was no point. He didn't want to go, and neither did she. Her mother couldn't get into contact with her. Hana had blocked her number. So that obviously left him as the messenger.

Hana bowed deeply and turned to take her leave from his office.

"Do you hate her?" the President asked.

Hana had her back faced to him. "Do you?" she shot the question back. It was a simple question with a complicated answer. Hate wasn't the correct word to describe what he felt towards the woman. A disconnect… a change of heart, maybe. But not hate.

She turned around. "I don't mind if you do," Hana admitted. "I would feel anger, bitterness, regret, and most of all, betrayed when it comes to her. I don't know what you see her as but I prefer… distance between her and I."

The President nodded. He did feel all those things. He felt all of the above and more. But after two decades, he was numb. He didn't strive to save his marriage nor did he look toward breaking it off entirely. They were stuck in a limbo, in a pool of emotions that he did not have the time nor energy to sift through. It was easier to distance himself. Keep up the superficial aspect. Focus on work. The company was his only purpose now.

"Do you know?" he asked the young woman. She stood her ground calmly on the other side of the room, her arms crossed and her posture invincible. She stood tall and ready for any fight coming her way.

"Know what?" Hana wasn't given much to work with in that question.

"Your real father?" the man clarified. He leaned back to watch the young woman think hard about his question. From the looks of it, Hana didn't know.

She stood silently, taking in the question as a whole. Hana wasn't sure what the President was trying to do. Why would this information be relevant to his business strategy? It took Hana a moment to realize that the man was human and not just a business tycoon she had been trained to negotiate with. He too, wanted answers after all these years, did he not? He was only human, and like anybody he was curious.

"I don't," she admitted after trying to psychoanalyze the man in front of her.  
"Do you want to?" The President offered, wondering if she would take the bait. He wasn't sure what he was trying to prove with these questions, either. He just wanted to know how much she knew.

Hana shook her head. "What good would it bring? To be reminded that I'm just a big mistake."

They were not close enough to offer comfort to one another. They were business partners. The President could only nod at her answer. It was a plausible one that he could understand. He felt a pang of pity but brushed it off.

"Is that what she also reminds you of?" the President raised an eyebrow. Sure, he could understand her disdain towards him - but towards her own biological mother? The reasoning became ambiguous.

Hana took a deep breath and exhaled. "This conversation has crossed our line of professional boundaries, Sir."  
"Were our boundaries ever clear, Hana?" She was his "daughter" working for the company. Their boundaries were never clear to begin with, especially when the rest of the company were quick at making assumptions about them both.

The woman stayed silent and pursed her lips. "I don't understand why this conversation is necessary."  
"You're right, it isn't," the man agreed. "Your mother wanted you to go to dinner tomorrow night." He told her the truth of their longwinded conversation, even though it was evident that she was unimpressed with this entire meeting to begin with.

"I respectfully decline," Hana calmly answered. He could have told his secretary to funnel the message over to her department, but he didn't. That was odd.

The President nodded. He already knew that.

"If that is it, then I will take my leave now," she bowed again and turned to leave.

The President had one more thing to ask before Hana reached for the handle of the door. She was his only connection to him nowadays.

"Is he going to those appointments?"

She stopped in her tracks confused again. Hana turned around, keeping a grip on the door and looked at the President quizzically. Tonight was just filled with vague inquiries that Hana was too exhausted to keep up with. She had a long day.

"I'm sorry?" Hana asked, politely requesting for clarification.  
"Your," the man cleared his throat and uttered out the word. "Grandfather."  
"Ojii-san?" Hana tried again. "What appointments?" Ojii-san would usually tell her where he was going if he had an appointment – it was usually with a friend for tea, sometimes he had doctor's appointments but those were rare over the past year.

"His check-ups," the President repeated, this time being a little more specific. "For his tumour."

* * *

 **A/N** : While uni begins very soon for me - fear not, this story will not be abandoned! I'm going to try my best to keep writing as much as I can before I have to dive deep into studying/internship applications/the-whole-shebang. Your reviews, as usual, are the things that keep me motivated to write and if I do not have the chance to update until my break (i.e. end of my school term), I hope all of you have a great year at school (or work!). Thanks for reading and sticking by for so long. :) I appreciate every single one of you.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Hana blinked. Did she hear right? "His… tumour," she repeated. The granddaughter could only stare at the man as she tried to process what had been said. It felt like a blur. A dream. She must have been too exhausted to properly hear what had been said.

Hana gulped and tried to speak.

"You didn't know," the President realized. The look on her face faltered. "Of course the damn old man wouldn't tell you," he sighed.

The granddaughter shook her head. "No, he…" Hana began piecing the symptoms together. The hand tremors and the limp. The vehement refusals to go to the doctor. The sudden defensive behaviour he had around her when she offered to clean the home instead of him because it looked like his arm had run out of strength.

"How long has it been?" she quietly asked.  
"He's been in remission for about a decade…" the son answered, wracking his brain at the last time his father received chemo. It has certainly been quite some time. His father was vehement about keeping the surgery and chemo a secret, especially from the young ones. Hana was off working as a model and travelling across Asia while balancing high school. Of course she hadn't noticed.

"Where… where was it?" Hana kept herself calm in the midst of the storm brewing in her heart.  
"The brain. The tumour was removed surgically and he went through radiation therapy, from what I remember. He's still in good health, I assume?" The President assumed that the girl was still in shock from the news of cancer, but what he didn't expect was the young woman to ask more questions.

"What were his symptoms before?" Hana needed to know. She wasn't prepared to jump to that conclusion just yet.  
"He complained about his hand tremor so I sent a chauffer for him to go to a specialist," he shrugged. "It was years ago now. It took me months to convince him to go into surgery when the results were out from his CT and MRI scan."

"How did you manage?" Hana had a sinking feeling in her heart. "To convince him, I mean. He's… stubborn."

The President nodded in agreement and contemplated the answer. "I… used you."  
"Me?" Hana looked up from the ground.  
"It worked when I told him that you would not survive without him," he admitted. There was truth in that. Hana wouldn't have come this far without her grandfather. He was the only parental figure she had in the world, the only thing next to a family besides Hiro. He lived for her. He lived to see her grow.

"Do you think… it would work again?" the granddaughter almost pleaded. The President had never seen her voice grow to be so timid. She was usually very assertive, her voice calm and steady. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"What do you mean, _again_?"  
"In the… off-chance it comes back," Hana clarified, reverting back to a calmer tone. Be rational, she thought to herself. He was in such good health for years, and only now did she notice these symptoms. It couldn't have been it. No. Hana refused to think of that possibility.

The President shook his head. "He's old… and stubborn. He doesn't fall for the same trap, twice."  
"But you'd want to save him, don't you? No matter what. You'd do whatever it would take?" Hana may not have been close with what people assumed to be her father, but they had to agree on this subject when it came to her grandfather.

"Hana, you're reading too much into the hypotheticals," the man shook his head. Neither of the two wanted to think of such a scenario, and he could only hope that it would never become reality.

"Just," the granddaughter sighed. "Answer the question. You'd want to save him, right?"  
"Well, of course. He's… he's my father," the President looked away. It was strange talking about it to her. They would never quite be father and daughter, and yet they were intertwined by the old man who was a father to them both.

"But you know him," the son grumbled. "He hates being told what to do. He doesn't like being weak. His pride is… invincible."

Hana frowned. "But… he'll have to listen to us. He can't… refuse to do what needs to be done. Whether it be surgery or chemo, he has to do it," she insisted.  
"You think he'd stand down? Hana, sometimes… we are left without a choice but to respect his decision."

"And what decision would that be?" Hana didn't want to think of it. A blanket of silence enveloped the room before the President opened his mouth to speak. He was the voice of reason.

"It's his life. We are not the ones to decide."

* * *

Takashi received a text from Hana, asking where he was. He picked up a late evening shift for someone at the library and told her that he was still at work. She texted asking when his shift ended. He looked at the time. It was past 7:30. He would be finished by 9. Hana made the commute over to his university campus, with two warm tea lattes in hand.

Takashi found her standing outside of his office, after she had texted that she was around. She paced around in her black peacoat, her hair down after a long day. Her grey handbag rested on her arm while she carried the two drinks. The steps from her ankle boots were heard down the hall, and she was more focused on something on the wall or thin air than to notice him walk closer.

"Hana," he called out when he was close enough. Her head shot up at the name immediately and she made her way over to him.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I know you're at work and all. I just… needed to see you."

She gave him his cup. He thanked her for it. Hana looked deeply troubled by something and he could tell by the looks of it that she wasn't ready to say anything. She only held out her arms and asked for his embrace silently. Mori complied, even though they were in the middle of a building by his office. People had gone home by now and it was just the two of them.

Hana breathed in his scent. He smelled like tea with a strange hint of freshly copied papers. Very office-like. But he held her tightly, even if it was just with one arm and the other had to take care of his drink. She nuzzled her head into his chest, not wanting to think about the thoughts that had been running through her mind. He patted her hair, and let her take her time.

Hana wanted to cry. But they were in public and he needed to get back to work. It was only a little past 8 PM. She let go and told him that she'd wait here. He hesitated for a minute, unsure of whether he could do so – especially with Hana in this state. She ushered him to go. Takashi pulled her aside and into his office, letting her at least sit at his cubicle. That way, she could at least work on whatever she needed until he was back. Takashi chalked it up to an especially bad day at work for her, and did not question what was wrong.

Hana noticed a picture frame on his desk, it was of the Pulpit Rock in Norway. She shot that photo. She gave him that frame as soon as she got the photos printed. There was nothing else on his desk besides the computer monitor and the keyboard. It felt nice to be that one person, that one thing on his desk that he held important.

Takashi came back an hour later to grab his jacket and things at his office. He noticed Hana admiring the photo frame.

"It reminds me of you," he told her. Hana looked up from his desk and nodded. She already knew. Mori held out a hand and pulled her up.

"Let's go home," Takashi led the way back. The subway ride was quiet, as it should have been. Hana held onto him tightly. She needed him and he was there for her. There was no questioning about it. The nights became chilly as the autumn wind settled well into the season. Hana shivered and shook off the cold. Takashi didn't want to ask if she was alright, knowing that she would probably brush off his question.

But today was different.

"Did you know?" she looked up at him, breaking off the silence. Hana wondered if she was the only one kept in the dark.  
"About what?" The question was too vague for Mori to give a straight answer.

"You took Ojii-san to those doctor appointments while I was overseas," Hana explained. "Didn't the doctor tell you?"

Mori shook his head. "He wouldn't allow me in the room. I was always outside. What is it?" he asked.

Hana huffed and realized that the old man was smarter than he looked. Of course he would begrudgingly go to those appointments but in no way would he allow Takashi in with him. He knew what was up. Takashi did not. The two grandchildren would never know about what was going on.

"Takashi, I think his cancer is back," Hana choked out. She tried to stay calm about the fact but the mere words were enough to capture the lump in her throat. The woman wanted to badly break down, to let her emotions run free. But she couldn't. She needed to think this through logically – without her impulsivity taking over.

"What?" Mori was in disbelief. Did he hear right?  
"The President informed me inadvertently," she explained. "Apparently it started with a hand tremor a decade ago."

A decade ago, Takashi repeated to himself. They stopped sparring more than a decade ago. Mori was occupied with Ouran and kendo, while Hana was off with her modelling career and travelling. Of course they wouldn't have known about it. He bet that his grandfather had known. The two were extremely close friends.

"Takashi, the hand tremor is back," she whispered. "And now with the limp… maybe I'm overthinking it? Maybe I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion, but if it was really nothing he wouldn't be so defensive about going to the doctor." Hana was trying to be logical. She tried her best to be level-headed. Oh how she wished that she could take her grandfather to the hospital and have it settled once and for all. If only he wasn't such a stubborn old man with an invincible amount of pride. Hana didn't know what to do but she couldn't sit still like this.

"I can get my grandfather to convince him to—" Mori tried.  
"Takashi, you know how stubborn he is. He's like a child. You tell him to do one thing and he'll do the opposite just to spite you to prove a point," Hana interrupted. She was terrified. He could see it in her eyes – it was a look he had never seen before. Sure, he had seen her lost and hurt, but this was a new emotion.

This was the woman who dreamed of going cliff diving and bungee jumping or anything to give her a rush of adrenaline. Nothing phased her like this. She took each fight head on, but this was a fight that Hana knew she couldn't win. No glimmer of hope. She knew her grandfather best, and she could read him better than he could. Hana knew his next move even if she didn't want to. It felt like her world was falling apart and she didn't know how she was going to hold it together when she got home.

"I knew he was old, but…" Hana shook her head. "He had the vitality of someone who hadn't aged my entire life. It's like… hitting a wall that you didn't see. A complete blindside that catches you off-guard. And it's stupid because it's just the way of life. How did I _not_ expect this?!"

She was frustrated at herself for not being able to do anything about it. For not noticing. For not even considering the possibility of death the entire time. She was not prepared. This was something she hadn't had to train for in her entire life.

"You need to talk to him," Takashi murmured. It was the only logical thing to do. Keeping this a secret was only going to cause more distress and anxiety, and prolonging the fact did no good to Sawada-san's health. Hana knew that he was right. But she wasn't sure how to bring up such a topic.

 _Oh, by the way – I know you're dying,_ wasn't a conversation starter. And neither was crying.

"He's not going to like this," she sighed. "He's going to hate me."  
"He won't hate you," Takashi caressed her back in comfort. He rested his hand on the small of her back, keeping her close.  
"How long do you think I can… keep it a secret?" Hana murmured. Things were getting busy at work, and she also didn't want the President finding out, not yet. Not until her grandfather had come to terms with his illness.

Mori shook his head. That was something he wasn't able to tell her. She looked down and nodded. He wasn't the person who had answers – it was her grandfather who had them.

"I need time," Hana murmured. "Am I not allowed to have that?" Her heart was too heavy and her brain was skipping across too many scenarios. Her emotions clouded her judgement and Hana could not think straight. Tonight was not the time for her to formulate a plan. She wanted to be able to feel these emotions. To be able to take things step by step.  
"Of course you're allowed time," he brushed aside her hair and brought her closer to him.

Hana was glad to have him by her side. Even while she felt like she was treading through the depths of hell, he was there. She didn't have the words to tell him how appreciative she was, or how grateful she was. Here was a man that was willing to walk her home in the cold, who listened to her emotional rambles, who stayed by her side until she said so.

"What am I going to do with you?" she mumbled.  
"Hm?" As usual, he was clueless.

Hana sighed. She would make it up to him, someday. She hoped.

"Nothing," Hana smiled weakly.

* * *

Morinozuka-san watched as his old friend picked up the chess piece with his dominant hand. His other hand held onto the wrist to steady himself before he confidently placed the piece down with his hand, making a loud tap on the board to indicate that his move was far superior to his opponent's.

"You can't hide it anymore, can you?" Morinozuka-san murmured.

His old friend sighed and shook his head. "It happens occasionally," he brushed off. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Morinozuka-san picked up his piece and made his move. "Don't lie."

His friend sat for a few minutes, pondering his next move and ignored Morinozuka's comment. It would take more than that to get him to confess. But it was time for his attack.

"Does she know yet?" Morinozuka asked. Sawada snatched one of his friend's pieces and suddenly Morinozuka was stuck at an impasse.  
"Doesn't seem like it," he answered, this time truthfully. "But you know Hana, she catches on quick."  
"Takes after her old man, hey?"  
"Don't patronize me," Sawada-san was quick to respond with a grumble.

The two finished their tournament, with Sawada-san winning by a landslide. It was a first, claimed the Morinozuka. They sipped their teas quietly, letting the two kids finish up their own tasks. It gave them time to talk. Or argue. Depending on the day.

"What will you do?" Morinozuka asked his friend. Now that his granddaughter was home, it was getting difficult to keep it a secret after all these years.

Sawada-san shrugged and responded, "I'm going to let nature take its course."

His friend raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Sawada-san nodded to himself. "I have been at peace for many years, Hanada. My son has grown up to be successful. I have raised a granddaughter who no longer needs me to keep her grounded. My job on this earth is done, no?"

"I… suppose," Hanada could not argue. "But Hana won't let you go that easily, Takashi."  
"She'll have to," the grandfather blatantly answered. "She'll survive and continue to live, perhaps a more fulfilling life than mine." Tough love. He was always the one to give that to her.

The grandfathers looked at one another. It seemed like yesterday that their faces were free of wrinkles and their bodies were still able. How they would spar against each other and suddenly they were raising families with no time to spare. Now they were back to square one, sitting across from one another. A lifetime of friendship.

"I am sure Takashi will be able to take care of her," Sawada-san smirked in approval. "The plan was years in the making, after all."

"Oi, don't get too carried away," his friend chided. "It started off as a joke."  
"But you wouldn't have had it any other way, now would you?"

His friend sighed and shook his head. He had to agree. It was comforting to see the two fit together, like they were always meant to be. Somehow, the kids found their way back to themselves again. Somehow, they no longer needed the guidance of their guardians. Somehow, the two had grown up to be independent and successful.

And all they could do was be proud of what they had raised.

* * *

He found her fiddling with her pen while she stared blankly at her computer screen. They opted to work at a local café, leaving their grandparents alone as they had requested. He quietly tapped her on the shoulder and nodded his head towards the door. Hana looked like she needed a break.

She silently packed up her things, placing it into her handbag and caught onto his hand before they made their way back. Hana had been more distracted lately, and with good reason after all. Between balancing work and dealing with the declining health of her grandfather, Hana had many things to be thinking about.

"Do you want to run away?" Mori offered. That was always her solution, an escape from the world. A means of gathering her thoughts, settling down and taking the time to process. He wouldn't have minded going away for a weekend, if it meant that she would feel better.

Hana looked at him strangely. "Run away to where?" Did he mean go for a run? She was open to the idea of maybe a jog around the neighbourhood, especially while the sun was still out. The rainy season of Japan had taken over the past few months. Soon enough it was going to be winter, bringing the snow and strong winds.

"Mountains," he answered her, like it was an obvious destination. They had always gone to the mountains together, at her family villa. By now, they knew the trails like the back of their hand. He squeezed her hand to let her know that he wouldn't mind coming with her.

She smiled at him and shook her head.

"As much as I loved running away before," Hana took a deep breath and shrugged. "That's not a viable option anymore."

Mori raised an eyebrow, surprised at her answer. He had thought that she would think his suggestion was one that they should take. A weekend away. Just them and the woods with Mount Fuji in the backdrop.

She squeezed his hand back and looked at him tiredly, giving him a weak smile.

"No matter where I run, or however far I go – I carry the burden," Hana explained. "I realized this while I was abroad… that it didn't matter what I did, I would always have to go back and deal with the issue at hand."

Takashi frowned at her pessimism, though he had to admit that she had a point. She had grown immensely over the years, as if she wasn't mature enough to begin with. Hana naturally wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up at him, countering the small frown on his face.

"It's alright, Takashi. I'm handling it. I'm okay," she reassured.  
"Are you?" he doubted her. He could see it in her eyes. There were times where it looked like she was close to falling apart before she caught herself and went back to doing her tasks.

Hana nodded slowly. "I promise we'll had back one day, okay? To the mountains, or the sea. To the jungles or the deserts. We'll go anywhere we want."  
"We can stay here," he offered with his signature grin that gave her butterflies.  
"Or we can do that too," Hana laughed. "Just as long as you're there."

* * *

There was an awkward silence at dinner. And Sawada-san was on the verge of bringing up the topic himself, having a feeling that she had begun to catch on with the gist of his deteriorating health. But instead she broke the silence, taking him off guard first.

"Mountains, or the sea?"

It caught him by surprise.

"The sea," he answered.

She nodded. Her expression difficult to read, for the first time in his life. Sawada-san was unable to decipher her emotions. It was odd. He used to be able to read her like a book, noting every little change in her behaviour. But her years abroad had him rusty in his skills, and she had grown into a strong, independent woman. He could no longer see her as his own grandchild, still swept up in a bundle of blankets, crying in her crib absolutely helpless.

He didn't have to ask why. He already knew why she asked.

"How long do you want me to keep it a secret?" She faced the problem head-on. Just like how he taught her. Analyze the situation. Act on your decisions. And do it swiftly, with no time to spare. Quick and efficient was his method of fighting.

Sawada-san raised his eyebrow at her and placed his chopsticks down.

"The President doesn't know," Hana explained. "He asked me if you were going to your appointments for your tumour."

He swallowed and sighed. He had to admit, parenting the second time around was better in that he was finally able to experience it. With his first child, his wife had done the work before she had passed away. And soon, his son found him to be more of an obligation to take care of, with filial piety deeply ingrained in his roots.

"I haven't—" he tried explaining.  
"—I know," his granddaughter cut him off. "I'm asking what your plan is. I'm asking what I can do for you."

Hana was calm and collected and continued on with her meal as if nothing had happened. As if it was a regular day. She took the reins on this one, and she was in full control. Sawada-san could not help but to smile. He had raised her this way. He had done well. But there was a more pressing issue at hand and he could not revel in his triumph for too long.

"I have no plan," he admitted.  
"Are you going to tell him or do I?" Hana cut to the chase. "You owe him that much."

Sawada-san shook his head. "How do I even tell him?"  
"The same way you were about to tell me, a few minutes ago," the granddaughter pointed out. Hana was quick to catch onto her old man's hesitance during their meal. She knew what was coming. "You have the upper hand here. You do what you want."

"Upper hand?" Sawada-san raised an eyebrow.  
"He's accepting of whatever choice you make," Hana hinted. She knew, deep down that that was the truth.

 _It's his life,_ rang at the back of her head, the President's voice replaying over and over again. He had come to terms with the outcome, no matter what it was. Hana, no matter how much she pretended, had not. But for now, all she could do was pretend.

"Alright," Sawada-san nodded. "He doesn't pick up my calls, anyway. You tell him."  
"What?" Hana looked up from her bowl of rice. She figured that her grandfather would be the one to tell his son. Not her, the illegitimate daughter telling her father that his own father was dying. That was strange.

"You offered," the elder shrugged. "It's a conversation I don't want to have." He was old. He was allowed to do this kind of stuff. Right?  
"This is also a conversation I don't want to have," Hana gritted through her teeth. "And _that_ is a conversation I would absolutely not want to have."

The grandfather shrugged and brushed it off.

"Can you at least go to the doctor?" She sighed and pleaded with her eyes.  
"Why do I have to make the trip to someone that will tell me what I already know?"

Hana rolled her eyes. It felt like she was reasoning with a snarky child. Which really, was what her grandfather was.

"It's not about someone telling you what you already know, Ojii-san," Hana lectured. "If you're suffering then—"  
"I'm not suffering," the elder grumbled. "So what if my hand tremors every now and then?"

The granddaughter shook her head. "That's not the point. You need the care from a professional before it's too late."  
"I've fought it off long enough, Hana. I don't need another round of chemo," the elder mumbled. It was too much. It was tough the first time around, and he knew when to accept defeat.

"Look who's jumping to conclusions here," Hana pointed out. "Maybe there's some kind of medication to help, or—"  
"I don't want it." The man was adamant. He had made his decision. He had suffered once, and it was more than enough for his lifetime.

The granddaughter put down her chopsticks.

"You don't have to take it," the young woman offered. "But give us both a peace of mind, alright? Go. I'll take you and if I don't, then you know your son will – likely by force with an army of bodyguards or some kind of home-visit to make sure you're having those appointments."

The elder grumbled and shook his head. Now that his son had the wealth and the extravagance to do such things, the scenario seemed quite plausible.

"You said I had the upper hand," he pointed out.

Hana shrugged. "He'll accept your decision but not without trying to sway you first. Don't you think so?"  
"Is that what you're doing?" the man furrowed his brows at his granddaughter. She wouldn't dare play tricks on the old man, she knew better.

Hana shook her head.

"What do you think?" she shot the question back at him.  
"Oi, don't play games with me, child."

The granddaughter only chuckled. "You think I'm handling this too well, don't you? You're expecting… I don't know what. Tears? Yelling? A dramatic fight? I had enough of that years ago – when I found out I wasn't your biological granddaughter, remember?" Hana could still feel the pang in her chest, the heavy aching heart that she carried around for so many months as she recovered from the news. It left a scar that healed over many years, but it was still a memory she could replay at any given instant.

Her grandfather's eyes faltered. He too could remember the day she knocked on his door – yelling and ready to kick it down. He had never seen her so hurt. Physically wounded and tired, yes. But to watch her hold the shattered pieces of her soul together through tearful eyes, his heart ached as much as hers.

"I… don't know what I was expecting, Hana," he was honest.

Hana gave a small smile.

"Expect everything you have taught me to be, Ojii-san."

* * *

Hana spent most of her days in the office watching the numbers on her monitors change. It was actually a stressful job with high risk and high demands but there was something oddly exciting about it. Hana never saw herself as a quant. But here she was, sitting at her desk and crunching numbers on the daily.

Her cellphone rang in the middle of the afternoon from an unknown number. Hana cautiously picked it up.

It was the Ootori.

"You're being heavily considered as a candidate for marriage, Hana," the Ootori informed. "Seems like you're quite the commodity among the upper-class who have been vying for appointments with your mother."  
"Good to know," Hana curtly responded. She stayed out of her mother's business. Hana liked to pretend that she wasn't getting married off any time soon and focused on her work. "Is there anything I can do for you?"  
"Accept our offer." She could pretty much hear his smirk over the phone.

Hana paused, mulling over his words.

"But why?" Hana couldn't quite understand. The Ootori had prospects too, in fact, his family was much more powerful than the Sawadas. And he, of all the other families, knew very well that she was involved with Mori.

"You want time."  
"Yes, but – that seems oddly gracious of you to be offering your hand in marriage," she was blunt. They were business partners after all. They didn't beat around the bush.

"I want time too," the Ootori explained. "Neither of us want to settle. You are merely a piece of the puzzle to greater my own prospects as a potential heir."

Hana could see where he was coming from. They were familiar with each other, she was the sister of his high school classmate. They were not strangers. He needed her to look like a greater prospect as an heir, to show potential in keeping the Ootori family bloodline. His brothers were already married, after all. The only thing he was missing was securing the future Ootori line of heirs.

The woman finally put the pieces together.

"You just want your mother off your back." It was Hana's turn to smirk.

Kyouya stayed silent for a few seconds before gritting out a statement.

"If that will make you feel better about this proposition, then you may think that," the Ootori tried to play it cool.

Hana smiled and laid off the teasing. Kyouya's logic was not flawed. They were both suitable for each other.

"We can talk logistics in person, then? I'd imagine you'd like to draw up some kind of contract," Hana guessed. They had discussed this back in the day, but neither of the two had truly expected things to turn out the way they did.  
"Ah, yes. Yes of course," the Ootori agreed.

The two scheduled a time to meet over the week after work.

Sure enough, Hana received a call a few days later from her mother. To which, of course, she ignored. Hana immediately regretted the decision to actively avoid her mother when the secretary knocked on her door the next day.

"Um, Miss Sawada?"

Hana was engrossed in her monitors and mindlessly greeted the woman to come in. She wasn't picking up her calls and that was likely why the secretary made the trip to relay messages in person. Hana apologized when the door opened.

"Sorry – I know I haven't been picking up calls. The market has been on a rollercoaster thanks to the elect—"

"Your mother is here," the secretary cut off the young woman to get her attention.

The atmosphere suddenly turned eerie. A sudden blanket of silence fell upon Hana before she sat straighter in her chair and sternly dismissed the secretary. Hana's mother looked around the office. The daughter watched as her mother made her own silent judgements.

It was quite simple, a little smaller than she had imagined given that it was the heiress' office. This was hardly the treatment she expected her daughter to receive. There was barely any seating space. Just her desk and 4 monitors, with two chairs in front of where Hana worked.

"Hello Hana," her mother greeted. "I was thinking we could have lunch together. It is your lunch hour, after all."

Hana shook her head. "I ate earlier." That was a lie. She was living on coffee and pre-cut fruit that her grandfather had packed her. Hana did not go out with the rest of her officemates as she holed up in her own office and ate her packed lunch instead.

"Oh," the elder's voice fell flat. "Well I heard that you had a date with the Ootori th—"  
"What?" Hana was flabbergasted at how she would find out. It must have been the Ootori that appeased his mother by telling her about their meeting. The news eventually found its way through the grapevine. Their meeting was far from a date. It was a negotiation.  
"Oh dear, that's nothing to be ashamed about. The Ootoris are a top candidate after all – I'm so proud of—"

Hana put down her pen and crossed her arms in an attempt to stay calm.

"You're proud?" Hana repeated.  
"Why yes, of course Hana. I've always been proud of you."  
"Have you, really?" the daughter found it hard to believe. Her mother celebrated her daughter's aesthetic appeal and trophy-wife candidacy for various families, over her capabilities as a businesswoman.

"Well, why wouldn't I be? You've turned yourself into quite the candidate. I have phone calls on the daily from various families asking to set up meetings – oh my goodness, Hana."

Hana sighed in frustration. Perhaps there would never be a day where she would see eye to eye with the woman who stood in front of her, rambling about the superficial appeal of the climbing up the social ladder. A woman so caught up with the world of wealth and extravagance that her reality was skewed and limited only to the bubble of the upper class she lived in.

"Is that it?" Hana kept her calm. "I don't have time to entertain you." She made it obvious that she wanted the woman out of her office.  
"Oh no, Hana. The Ootoris are having a benefit for their hospital –"

Hana was aware of this. Kyouya had told her about the event. It was unfortunate that he would be out of the country, taking care of a few meetings in America. He advised her not to attend until they were both ready to make an official statement about their partnership. Hana was adamant on having no statement whatsoever. The Ootori believed it to be nonsense – if they were going to make it seem believable, of course there would be a statement of some sort.

Official statements weighed too heavily on both of their reputations. Time and time again, it was always the woman that had to be blamed for any kind of fault in a relationship. Hana had her best interest to protect her own reputation.

"No," Hana refused.

"But Hana," the mother tried reasoning with the daughter who was always too stubborn for her own good. The girl was always going out of her way to make life difficult for herself.

"I was not made to be shown off," the young woman stood her ground. "I refuse to be belittled to some kind of trophy that you want the world to know about."  
"That's not what I—"  
"—It is," Hana corrected. "It is exactly what you have raised me to be. A human mannequin. A model. A pawn."

"Hana, why are you so petty? You have always been a stubborn child. You never listen to your mother, and you never think to let me finish a sentence before jumping to your own conclusions."  
"Petty? Petty about what?"  
"Your little financial career that you hold so dearly onto. Hana, face it: no one cares about what you are doing here – everyone is waiting for you to settle into the place you were made for."

Her fingers gripped onto her arm with such force that Hana could feel her nails digging into the skin.

"And what place was I made for?" Hana knew the answer and wasn't sure why she had bothered to ask.

"To be a socialite, of course," her mother was oblivious to her daughter's fuming temper. Hana looked at the stapler in her drawer and sighed. No one wanted to explain why there was a hole in the wall and how it got there. Hana was too old to be throwing things at walls and breaking them.

"Hana, the world awaits. You're wasting your time in this office when you can be out networking with—"  
Hana stood up and took a deep breath. She gestured to the door.

"Please leave. I have many things to take care of in this petty little financial career I hold very dearly to," her jaw locked out of tension. "I don't have time for your events, or your little schemes. I don't care for it – I never have."

"Hana—" her mother tried again. "Just look at the way they treat you with this cramped space and awful position – don't you want more? I'm trying to better your life, Hana! You don't have to be working this hard for nothing."

"I want you to leave me alone," the daughter sighed out of exasperation. "I don't need you to look out for me. I am going to ask you to get out, while I am still patient." Hana was stern with her words, her piercing eyes stared down the face of her mother who hadn't looked like she aged past 35. It couldn't have been normal, she thought to herself.

"You can't kick your own mother out," the woman scoffed.

"I will call security," she threatened. "Do not test me."  
"You father will hear about this," her mother threatened back, playing the only card she had.

Hana hesitated before pulling the last straw.

"What father?" She narrowed her eyes, daring her mother to continue. The woman huffed and shook her head.  
"You're an ungrateful brat, you know that? We have provided you with everything in the world you throw it back at us as if you have the world at your feet."

Hana practiced meditating with her grandfather over the past few months, usually after her workout and before she went to bed. Deep breathing exercises came in handy when Hana felt like her entire chest was going to explode out of rage.

"At least Hiro has the decency to call his mother every once in a while! What do you do? Scurry off across the world, pretending you aren't part of this family, throwing everything we have worked for so you can—"

Her mother stopped at the sight of Hana picking up the phone and dialed the number for security.

"Hana, you will _not_ call—"

The young woman asked for an intruder to be escorted out of her office, ignoring her mother's pleas.

"How _dare_ you disrespect your _own_ mother! Have you no shame, Hana? I did not raise you to—"

Hana rolled her eyes. "I am sure the President _will_ hear about his wife being escorted out of this building if you don't leave right this second."

It was enough to have the woman leave at her own accord, her heels echoing down the halls. Hana slumped down into her chair and watched the numbers on her screen fall deeper and deeper.

It was just an awful day.

* * *

Hana didn't like being dependent. The idea of having to be dependent on someone felt so dangerous. What would happen when you didn't have them anymore? What if you grow to be so comfortable that you're lost without them? She didn't like the inevitability of having that empty feeling when they were gone.

She hated to admit how much she depended on her grandfather. How she knew his time was limited. How the lunches he packed were not forever. The stupid exercises he made her do after work weren't going to be a part of her routine. His grumbling about his dog stopped occurring and soon, Hana found him spending more time with the stupid dog, giving her belly rubs and spoiling her with boiled chicken nearly every day.

She could see it in the way he acted. How he took every day to be a little more special. He would go the extra mile to take care of his granddaughter, to walk another block because the dog wasn't ready to go home, he would go out of his way to buy the best produce so he could cook the freshest meals.

Hana broke down crying on her way home. She couldn't keep it together, no matter how hard she tried. Everything about the day just made her feel terrible. It started with her eyes welling up. And suddenly, as soon as she stepped out of the train station, it felt like she couldn't breathe. Her nose became runny, her eyesight completely marred by the blurriness of the teardrops that flowed down her face.

She was crazy. She knew she looked like a maniac. Hana took the time to sit on the bench of the park so she could at least calm down before heading home. It was chilly. The winds were getting stronger, the sun set faster now that it was already autumn.

Hana looked at the reflection of herself on the screen of her phone. She couldn't see anything. It was too dark. She tried wiping away the tears and prayed that her eye makeup hadn't run down her face to look like a monster.

"What are you doing?"

Hana jumped at the voice, getting ready to defend herself before noting that it was just him. Of course it would be him. They got off work at around the same time and he walked through the park to get home too. Of course he had to catch her in the midst of a breakdown, trying to clear off the streaks of black around her eyes with her stiff, clammy hands from the cold.

"Um," Hana cleared her throat. Her voice was hoarse. She was still recovering. "N-nothing."

Mori kneeled down and looked her in the eye, while she sat on the bench. She tried to avert her gaze.

"Were you crying?" he asked, his voice low.  
"Uh," she tried to play it cool, even though she knew she was failing miserably. "No."

He took her hand. It was freezing cold. She really needed a pair of gloves, he thought to himself. She pursed her lips and looked down. Her makeup had smudged around her eyes. Her cheeks were still wet. Hana was embarrassed but she still refused to acknowledge her tears. She was so stubborn at times – but she always had been.

On the mat, she never knew when to give up. He clearly remembered throwing a punch at her jaw and he could have sworn that he knocked a molar out. But she gritted her teeth and socked him in the stomach. Next thing he knew, she spat out a pool of blood and their grandparents called it a day before she could throw him to the ground. She was nine. He was barely a year older. Sawada-san still told the story to his friends because he was just in so much awe of his own granddaughter.

"I don't want to fight you," Mori murmured. "Just tell me what's wrong."

She felt like an emotional mess. She was so embarrassed on top of it all. Through the frustration and the guilt in the afternoon spurred by her own mother, and the thought of losing her grandfather as she commuted on the way home. Hana was in shambles emotionally. Mori was the last person she wanted to see while she was in this state.

"I don't know," Hana sniffed. "Where to begin," she finished.

Takashi shook his head and enveloped her with his arms, patting her back. She buried her face in his chest and relaxed in his arms.

"From the beginning, then."

* * *

 **A/N:** I feel like I had failed two of my finals in the past week and I needed an escape from misery. (Unsurprisingly, I feel like this chapter has mirrored my own verge of breaking down thanks to uni - but that's a whole other story.) This was written over the course of the term and the last half was written in about a day, while I procrastinated in studying. As usual, I am unsure of when the next time I'll update - hopefully soon. I hope all of you have been doing wonderfully, and if you are also caught in the midst of exam season like I am, I wish you all luck! Good vibes for you all  & Happy Holidays! Your thoughts are of course, always much appreciated.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Do you think I'm a brat?"

It was a stupid question, and she knew it. She was bundled up in the corner of his bedroom, sitting on the floor next to his bookshelf. He gave her a blanket and tea while Hana recounted her day to him. Hana called her grandfather to let him know that she was at Mori's place, just so he wouldn't worry. The elder grumbled something about him figuring it out when she wasn't home by her usual time.

"No," Takashi answered. Of course she wasn't.

Hana shook her head.

"But you're just… you're biased. You can't just tell me what I want to hear," she took a sip from her cup. Her fingers were finally warming up.

"Did you want to be told you were a brat?" Takashi raised an eyebrow at her. She was being silly. He wondered what caused her to be this way.

Hana pursed her lips. "Well, I guess it wouldn't be the first time I'd be hearing it." Her mother had a point.

She was well aware of her privilege. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and Hana could not deny that she was being a brat in some way or another. There weren't many people who had the opportunity to study overseas like she did, nor were there many people with opportunities like her to land a secure job, at her family's company no less. Hana had everything laid out for her.

And she chose to push it all away – in favour of her pride. What did she have to prove, anyway? It was purely out of selfishness. Hana wondered if she was doing the right thing. Would it be defeat if she just accepted her fate?

"Sometimes, I don't know if I am navigating my privilege responsibly."  
"How so?" he pried.

Hana shrugged.

"Just… being in the position that I am, and refusing to accept it. I don't have to work a day in my life. I don't have to amount to anything, and yet I still try. My mother told me I was being a brat – how everything was laid out for me and yet, I refuse it all. I can't even deny that it's not true," she explained.

"Then why do you do it?" Takashi bounced off of her ideas. He knew very well why she did what she did. He wondered if she knew it herself.

Hana blinked. Why _was_ she doing it?

"I… work for the company out of honour," It was the reason she kept telling herself. "I know where I stand. I am responsible in upholding the reputation of the Sawada name... because Hiro cannot."

Mori nodded but he wasn't convinced. He knew her well enough that these reasons were superficial. Of course, Hana felt the responsibility of filling in her older brother's position as the next head of the family. It was a sacrifice she chose to make.

"I also do it… to prove that I can do it – it just feels like the world is against me. No matter how hard I try to tread against the current, I'm swept away by the ocean. I'm just tired, Takashi. I don't know how much longer I can tread. I don't know how much longer I can hold up without giving up."

He smiled at her. Hana was a fighter. She was raised to be. Tonight was just her taking a time-out. He knew that she would be back in the ring – even if she didn't think she could go back. Hana was not a quitter. She did not give up. It would weigh too heavily on her conscience to give up.

"You can't," Mori reminded her. "Even if you tried."

Hana let out a long sigh.

"I know. I can't fathom the thought of giving up when I've given too much. But I don't want the company, Takashi. I don't want that responsibility – I just want to… I just want this to end peacefully. Leave the company in good hands with the Sawada name in-tact. Is that too much to ask?"

Takashi could not give her the answer to that.

"The President will never give up the company –his life's work – to some illegitimate daughter. But better the illegitimate daughter than a stranger, I suppose."  
"What will you do?"

Hana looked down to her cup of tea.

"If I'm honest – I would have to betray him and sell the company off if it were in my hands."  
"And then?"

The girl looked up at the boy who listened intently to her rambling.

"I just want to live simply," Hana confessed. "Like Ojii-san… who lived simply, but happily, you know?"

He nodded. Takashi would also prefer a simple life. He could see her, with him. In a home, not too large, but cozy enough. A dog. He could bring home bouquets for her after work. She would come home too, and they could cook a meal together. He would continue marking essays, while she continued on with her own work. He could imagine them. Together. It made his heart beat faster. His lips turned into a small smirk until he noticed her staring at the wall, in a daze.

"I don't have the energy to play politics my entire life," she admitted. "I'm not smart enough for that. You know who is?"

Takashi perked up.

"Kyouya," Hana answered. "He's… very calculated. I thought I was calculative, but he was quite the planner when we met up earlier this week."

A part of Mori couldn't help but to feel his stomach sink.

"You two met?" He cleared his throat.  
"Ah… yes," Hana meant to mention this earlier. "Went over a few clauses for whatever this strange arrangement we have agreed to."  
"Arrangement?" He questioned.

Hana knew he had to tell Mori about it eventually. After all, she had mentioned that their families had been talking about marriage since years ago. For a while, it was a quiet agreement until the Ootoris hadn't made a move to solidify the partnership, leaving Hana's mother free to shop around other prospective families. All in all, it was a great move on her mother's part – if she had planned it. Hana had more reason to believe that her mother began considering other prospective families out of desperation. The Ootoris only took it as pressure to begin formulating a solid partnership.

"We only need each other until we both have the company in our hands," Hana explained, actively avoiding his real question. His expression looked solemn before he looked away from her. This was probably the closest to upset she would ever see him and it hurt her to know that she was once again, being selfish about it all.

"It's purely business," Hana reassured.

The man pursed his lips and nodded reluctantly. Hana sighed. This was not what she wanted. She never wanted to hurt Takashi, especially him of all people who became her light in the midst of darkness. She could not forgive herself.

"I'm sorry," was all she could choke out. "I always… I know I am a brat for putting myself first before anyone else."  
"Why are you sorry?" he murmured.  
"Because you're obviously upset about this whole ordeal," Hana pointed out. He could see the guilt in her eyes before she looked down to her cup of tea.

"I'm not upset," Takashi reassured. "Just…"  
"It's not fair," she admitted. "I know it's not fair for me to be with Kyouya, even if it is only for show."  
"But I understand," Mori replied. His family was not intertwined with the politics of the upper class but Mori had years of observing his friends and the activities of their families over the years. He was not surprised. She had mentioned this before. This was not news.

But it still made his stomach churn. His heart sink. His body ache. He wished he could put into words why he felt the way he did – but in all honesty, Takashi knew he was unable to compete with Kyouya. He would never be good enough to marry Hana. He was a nobody, after all. Perhaps she deserved better. Perhaps over the years, she would realize that the Ootori had much more to offer. Financial stability, reputation, and approval from the world. It was an inconvenient truth.

Hana put her cup of tea down and reached over to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, comfortably positioning herself in such a way that she melted into his body. She tried to make him feel better in the only way that she knew how. He welcomed her with open arms, holding her tight. He didn't know how much longer he would have her, after all.

"I'm sorry," was all she could offer. She looked at him with eyes so sincere it made him sigh with guilt. He didn't mean for her to feel this way. "You are everything that I don't deserve but I hold onto you for my dear life. It's not fair that I cannot do the same for you."

Takashi shook his head and wiped away her silent tears and placed strands of her soft hair behind her ear.

"You're more than enough," he told her. "More than I can ask for."  
"You can ask for more," Hana choked out. "Ask for a relationship you don't have to hide. Ask for… everything that I wish I could give you."

He shook his head and held her close. "Give me a kiss," he slyly smiled. He tried to make her feel better. Mori seemed to have succeeded when Hana let out an inadvertent chuckle after a second before pecking him on the cheek.

"No, a real one," he murmured into her ear. She shivered at his touch, his hands firmly gripped her waist tighter as he pulled her into him. Hana was quick to cup his face and meet him with her lips, over and over again. His lips curved into a smile each time, letting her take the reigns as she made sure to make her message clear.

Hana wanted to give him everything that she could. She was going to make it work. Hana was determined to come back to him – no matter what. She was his, and she would never let that change as long as he allowed her to be.

* * *

"What are you going to do with this house?"

The granddaughter was cooling off from a session of kickboxing on a Saturday morning. She chugged from her water bottle while the old man sat hunched over his knees, taking in the progress Hana had made over the past few weeks.

"What do you mean?" he grumbled.  
"Do you want me to deal with your assets or is it taken care of?"

The granddaughter was so casual about it. She took another sip of her water and waited patiently for the man's answer, not even flinching at the gravity of the question. As if she had accepted the fate of his death, the inevitability of his spirit leaving this world didn't even create a falter in her eyes. She stared him down as if she was goading him to try to make her cry.

She was mentally prepared already. It was happening so fast. The elder was taken back.

"It is taken care of," the grandfather answered. "Your fath—the President," he corrected. "This house is his. I have no assets, Hana." All of his savings went towards educating his son. He had nothing to show for except his pride and joy. His children were his proudest achievements.

His granddaughter nodded. "Is there a shrine?" The Morinozukas had a family shrine, given how traditional their family was. They had ties to a shrine outside of Tokyo according to Mori. Hana wondered if her grandfather had frequented a shrine where he wanted the ceremonies to be held.

"Oi, we're poor peasants without shrines – what kind of pretentious asshole do you take me for? I'm not like Morinozu—"  
"—Okay, Ojii-san," Hana rolled her eyes. "I'm just checking."

The pair packed up and went on about their day. It was a regular afternoon. Hana was busy working on her laptop while the elder was busy cooking. He liked the regular routine in his life. It gave him a sense of purpose and peace. His routine was broken when he lost grip on a hot pot which caused a commotion in the kitchen, prompting Hana to quickly slide open the door.

The granddaughter looked at the scene. Spilled stew all over the kitchen, her grandfather fuming at himself for being so careless.

"Get out of the kitchen," Hana ordered.  
"No," the grandfather refused. "The stupid—"  
"Another word and I'm going to call the ambulance. You better fucking hope the burns on your feet are not serious."

She quickly lent her shoulder in support and carried him over to the living room. His feet were red and he was obviously in pain from the boiling stew that had spilled all over his legs. Hana silently tended her grandfather's wounds, not saying a word about the accident. She was not here to lecture him.

But he almost wished that she would so at the very least, Hana would let the incident go. It did not seem like his granddaughter would bury the fact that he was no longer fit to take care of her.

"You know what I'm about to say," Hana's voice was firm as she applied an ice cold towel to the burn. "Don't fucking argue with me. You lost your chance at proving yourself to be fit. These dangerous things can't keep happening – especially when I'm not home."

The elder could only sigh and stay silent. He could not argue because he knew he wouldn't be able to win.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you," she gritted her teeth. "I don't know what the President would think of this – but his solution would be assisted living."  
"No," the elder refused. "I'm not some—"  
"I _know_ ," Hana cut him off. "I'm not letting that happen to you." Her grandfather's independence was important to him. There was no point in having him live in misery.

"So what do you want?"  
"Let's go to the doctor," Hana was not pleading this time. This was going to happen on her watch. "If these tremors and issues with your limbs can go away with medication, or some kind of rehabilitation: we'll do it."  
"But—"  
"—I don't care if you don't want to," his granddaughter wasn't having it. "It's either this, or you're placed in a nursing home so we don't have to take care of you. Take care of yourself while you still can, Ojii-san."

The elder grumbled something under his breath before agreeing to her conditions.

When Hana was called up to the President's office, she thought it was going to be about the Ootori. It made perfect sense in her head, the meeting had to be some sort of nod of approval from the President in her involvement with the Ootori.

It wasn't.

"What sort of fool do you take me for?" the President roared. "You think you could hide the fact that he's relapsed?"

"What?" was all the daughter could reply with.

"You took him to the doctor last week for a hand tremor and lost sensation in his limbs. What made you think I wouldn't know about the conditions of my own father?"

Hana stood there in shock. The doctors had to be bound by some kind of confidentiality agreement, leaking patient files and their conditions was illegal.

"I…" Hana gulped. She had no excuse. She was after all, keeping Ojii-san's health a secret for the past month. "I was trying to do the right thing."

"Right thing? You can't do anything right. You couldn't even stand and look pretty for a living – you had to meddle with our finances and make our lives troublesome. Now you're dragging in my father into all of this – have you no shame? Have you not taken enough away from this family?"

She was speechless.

"Ojii-san –" Hana tried explaining but nothing would come out of her throat. How could she argue against the man who was his biological son? Hana had no right to keep the secret. The guilt that weighed on her chest was crushing her soul.

"Ojii-san? He was never your grandfather."

 _He was never your grandfather._

The President had never seen the child so helpless. She didn't fight back. For once, it seemed like she knew her place. Her large doe eyes looked down towards the ground, her head hung heavy on her shoulders as she gathered her wits. For some reason, it gave him no pleasure to see her so defeated. She was usually headstrong, with her pride overflowing the room. Today, she was meek and helpless.

"You never call him," she whispered. Hana forced herself to look up. She didn't know how long her body could fight off the physiological effects of her heavy heart. Hana couldn't let herself cry.

"You never… really understood him," she murmured. "You never got the chance, hey? Maybe today's the day." Hana smiled weakly.

She bowed deeply before quietly taking her leave.

* * *

He could tell that her mind was elsewhere. It did him no good. He was aware of how dysfunctional the Sawadas were, but what family of the upper class wasn't dysfunctional? Everyone had their own fair share of mistresses, illegitimate children, and dirty laundry. The Sawadas of course, were untainted by any sort of scandal to the public which made them a solid candidate so far.

Hana stood beside him and smiled like she was trained to do. They made their first official appearance together at a charity banquet for Alzheimer's, piquing the interest of their communities. The youngsters agreed to allow the upper class to come to their own conclusions about the two.

The Ootori observed how she elegantly handled herself with guests and alike. She was well versed in a great range of topics, from fashion to the politics of the west. Her speciality of course, was finance and the markets. She was tactful enough to impress business associates but always clever to never reveal too much of her strategies. After all, she knew that the Ootori would take them for himself. She couldn't have that.

All in all, Hana was an impressive character.

It was just… too impressive. Too well-rehearsed. She wore a mask like he did with strangers. But she was Hiro's little sister at the end of the day. Hana was good-natured. She was genuine. Warm. Adventurous. She was still the same as she was years ago, but only to those she believed deserved to be shown her true nature. Hana only grew to be more cautious, more weary of the politics in the upper class.

Kyouya knew something was off when Hana was in a daze. They had just finished speaking with a group of upcoming tech executives. The woman was usually quick to scan around the room, getting ready to take on more people to mingle.

"You're off your game today, Hana," Kyouya quietly commented. "Is there something wrong?"

She looked up at him, trying to read his expression of concern. Was it genuine or was he trying to gauge for weaknesses to blackmail her? The paranoia she fostered was unhealthy and she knew it. This was exactly why she hated playing politics. She only exhaled and replied with a weak smile.

"Apologies," Hana nodded her head as a form of respect and had no excuse. She just wanted to get through the day. The pair continued on with their appearance for the night, garnering the approval of the elders who felt that the two were a good fit.

"I asked you a question," the Ootori was a persistent one. The two waited in the cold night for their respective chauffeurs. If this was the Ootori's way of making small talk, Hana wasn't particularly impressed.

"Excuse me?" Hana tried to stay polite.  
"Is there something wrong?" Kyouya asked again.

The woman raised an eyebrow, confused as to why the Ootori would bother to care. They were business associates. Maybe acquaintances at best.

"I can't tell what your intentions are," she was honest.

The Ootori shrugged. The woman had a fair point. Had Hana asked him what was wrong, it would have been deemed normal given her true nature. For him, well. Kyouya was well-aware of his manipulative and scheming ways. It was suspicious and he couldn't blame her for playing it smart. In fact, it earned her a little more respect.

"I'm asking as… an old friend," Kyouya was unsure how to describe himself. He was trying to do his duty to Hiro by looking out for his little sister. Perhaps that was how he viewed her after all these years. Nothing more than a younger sibling of some sort.

Hana chuckled to herself.

"I appreciate you asking," her voice was warm, her words were genuine. This was the Hana that he remembered from Ouran. "Sometimes I forget that you're… an old friend."

The Ootori took off his jacket and wrapped it around the shoulders of Hana to keep her warm from the chilly air. A gentlemanly thing to do, of course.

"You know I'm… I'm with Takashi, right?" Hana just wanted to make sure. Of course, there were other things on her mind. Kyouya raised an eyebrow. It had to take an idiot to not realize that the two were a sure thing. The pair made themselves quite obvious, even years ago at the cottage in the mountains.

Hana easily read the expression on the Ootori's face. She nodded to herself.

"I just… feel guilty," Hana admitted. "Takashi shouldn't feel like he's… nonexistent to the rest of the world. Everything we do to keep face is rather excessive, don't you think? But there is no other logical solution – we all have goals to achieve. You and I are merely tools to each other in the grand scheme of things."

The Ootori nodded, though he did not feel the same kind of guilt she did in playing the game of politics. He was willing to do anything to achieve his ambitions. Hana on the other hand, only did it to survive. That was where they differed.

"No hard feelings, hey?" Hana smiled. The Ootori shook his head. They were on good terms, business-wise and on a personal level. "I only worry about Takashi," she confessed. "I don't think he… quite understands what we have to do – but he tries his very best."

Kyouya nodded. Hana's chauffeur came and he bid her farewell. It was another successful appearance by the young couple at an event. Hana could only wonder when this would end. She was tired of the lies and the façade she had to keep up. Her status grew greater and greater at the expense of her freedom and her sanity.

* * *

Hana came home late after the event. She tried her best in sliding the doors as quietly as she could, carrying her heels so that her bare feet would make no noise at each step she took.

"Oi," the grandfather caught her red handed. Hana didn't know why she felt so guilty. She was a full grown adult who didn't have a curfew to follow.

"It's been a long day, Ojii-san," Hana grumbled. The elder rolled his eyes and let the child wash up before lecturing her. The granddaughter braced herself for a long 20 minute lecture about getting enough rest and coming home early but instead, she sat down on the tatami mat with her half-dried hair to a question she did not expect.

"Did you ask him to call me?" her grandfather asked.

Hana replayed the scene in her head from the afternoon. She had been so distracted by the event that she forgot about what had been weighing the most heavily on her chest the whole day.

 _He was never your grandfather._

"Yeah," she confessed. "He… seems to know about it all even though I said nothing about it."

The elder nodded. "He wants me to do go through hell and back again."  
"As we all do," the granddaughter shrugged. "But… we understand if you don't."

Her grandfather sighed. "Everyone wants me to keep on living – but I am living. I'm getting by each day the way I want to. Is this so wrong?"  
"No," Hana reassured. "I just want you to be happy."  
"And I am happy. Why doesn't my son understand that?" he huffed. "I just want to keep living simply."

The granddaughter smiled. "Tell him that."  
"I did."  
"Tell him again. Over and over again. Tell him how proud you are of him. Tell him that you have everything you ever wanted or needed. Tell _him_ how you feel, Ojii-san. He won't understand you otherwise."  
"How would you know?" the elder grumbled. "Us Sawadas are stubborn creatures."  
"Wear him down," she shrugged. "How else?"

The old man had enough on his plate and Hana did not have the heart to tell her grandfather that at the end of the day, she was never meant to be his granddaughter.

* * *

She liked spending time at his place. There was something very peaceful about the Morinozuka residence. It was of course, much larger than that of her grandfather's. The past few weeks had the old friends apart due to her grandfather's injuries and medical appointments. Today was the first time the elders had seen each other in two weeks. Of course, to many, it was hardly any time apart.

But sure enough, the two elders began grumbling about not seeing their old friend and as soon as they met again, they began bickering. It was their own way of staying close, it seemed. Arguing over the smallest things like which kind of apple is better or which miso paste was the best to use while cooking.

The grandchildren left their grandparents alone while they carried on with their own activities. Hana was in no mood to work. It was unusual of her, Takashi noted. She was usually very hardworking, staying on top of things but today seemed like a spontaneous decision for her to take off the day.

Hana rested her head against his shoulder while he marked essays and read along with him. She was careful not to disturb him, knowing that he was in deep concentration. Hana provided a source of warmth by his side, her soft hair prickling his neck every so often when she adjusted her position.

"Nihilism… it's depressing, isn't it?" Hana murmured. The two had just finished reading a student's essay on the meaning of life. It argued strongly for the thought of nihilism, wherein there was no meaning to life to begin with and that all that was done to survive was meaningless.

Mori shrugged. "There are other perspectives to the meaning of life," he suggested. The other few essays dealt with the Enlightenment philosophy, or theism. There was no correct answer to such questions.

"Do you believe in it?" Hana was curious to hear about his thought on the meaning of life.

The man shrugged. "It's not wrong."  
"Yeah, but none of these perspectives can truly be proven _wrong_. Do you think everything we do is meaningless?"

"Well," Takashi turned the question back to her. "Do you?"

Hana blinked. "Sometimes," she confessed. "I just feel… I'm not working towards anything. What's the point of it all? Why am do I bother being entangled with all of this complexity that is my life? It doesn't seem worth the trouble. The outcome is the same: I lose."

Takashi raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you lose, Hana?"

The woman shrugged, staring at the ground. "I just… lose at everything. Happiness feels unattainable – it's only a… a fleeting moment in time."  
"Perhaps that is the meaning of life," his voice was soothing to listen to, his thoughts had always kept her on her toes. Hana looked up at him in confusion.

"Chasing happiness is the motivation to keep living," Takashi explained. "Or… that is what some philosophers believed."

"What about you?" Hana asked.

Takashi put away the pile of essays on his lap and his marking pen aside. Hana took this as an invitation to snuggle closer to him. She nestled herself in the crook of his neck. Mori smiled as she relaxed into his body. She felt safe. She trusted him. Hana gave herself to him and nobody else. How could he not smile at this feeling?

"I believe a practical understanding of life is more useful than that of an abstract idea."  
"Like what?" she murmured into his chest. She had her eyes closed. Hana just wanted to forget about reality. She could use some food for thought.

"Each individual has their own meaning of life – whether there is none to begin with is a personal opinion. But what is the purpose of our existence as whole, as a species? How did we come to be?"  
"Science can explain that," Hana mumbled. "Evolution over time to produce the human species."  
"Exactly," Takashi pointed out. "Much more useful, isn't it?"

Hana nodded in understanding. "So… everything else is a waste of time?"

Takashi shrugged. "Philosophy is subjective."

She shifted closer to him and sighed. "Life is… hard."  
"Mmhm," he agreed. He held her in his arms, his hands drawing fleeting patterns on her back. He kissed the top of her head. She always smelled like jasmine flowers and he couldn't help but to inhale her scent.

"But it… it serves a purpose, no? It must. It may seem meaningless but – goodness, I can't stop living now. Ojii-san made it this far, how could I stop?"  
"Did you want to stop?" he pried further.  
"No," Hana shook her head. "I just wanted to freeze time. I just want to live without feeling like I'm being suffocated by reality. People say that all will pass, but _when_? When does the struggle end? Will it _ever_ end?"

Mori chuckled to himself. "These are deep questions, Hana. I can't give you the answers."  
"I'm sorry, I'm just… I shouldn't be complaining. I have a steady job, food to eat, and a roof over my head. But sometimes… sometimes I fantasize about having a simpler life."  
"Like what?" Takashi whispered.

She shook her head and brushed off the thought. "It's silly."  
"No, it's not." His deep voice rang through her ears. He never demanded to know, but Takashi just had that sort of mesmerizing power over her. He was trustworthy. Hana never doubted that.

"A cozy home," Hana whispered. "Flowers on the kitchen table. A dog to feed and walk. A small garden to take care of in the summers. A meaningful job. A quiet life. No media. No politics to have to play. Nothing but you and I."

Takashi nodded in understanding. He wanted that too. The look on her face explained it all. She knew she was the barrier to it all. Hana was ridden with guilt.

"It's not your fault," he told her. "You're doing what you have to do."  
"And you're waiting for me like…" she cut herself off before looking away, sighing instead.  
"An idiot?" Takashi tried to brighten up the mood. The woman quickly shook her head, suddenly regretting letting him fill in the blank.

"I just… I would understand if you're tired of me," Hana whispered.  
"Never," he assured her. He looked her right in the eye, making sure that she knew that his loyalty was unwavering. He slowly closed the gap between them, his hands moving up to caress her neck.

Hana pulled away.

"You know I don't deserve you, right?" she smiled weakly.  
"I don't deserve _you_ ," he admitted.

She laughed. "But you're here anyway? Did you think I was settling for you?"  
"Maybe," he shrugged. In all honesty, he didn't want to question it more than he already had. How he managed to land someone as wonderful as she was wasn't up to him to explain. It just happened.

"Do you think Ojii-san would have taught me to settle for second best, Takashi?" Hana reminded him.  
The man smirked and shook his head. The woman had a point.

The woman toughened up. Her eyes shifted from being guilt ridden to being fiercely determined.

"I'll fight for you – for us," Hana declared. "I just need you—"  
"—To stay," Takashi finished off her sentence.

She smiled, for real this time. Hana swooped up to his lips and pushed him against his bookshelf. Hana made her message loud and clear. She was here to win against this game of life, and he was here to stay. Takashi was quick to retaliate, keeping her in his arms as he leaned forward to push her down to the ground. She laughed beneath him. Perhaps they would never stop fighting, even off the mat.

"You're not a brat," Takashi reminded her. He had her locked between his body and the ground. He made sure she was listening. Hana looked up at him intently.

"You are considerate and kinder than you believe. You are intelligent and pragmatic. You are capable and incredibly hardworking. You are everything you strive to be, Hana."

She smiled and pulled him down for another kiss to thank him, her fingers being caught in his already messy hair.

He was always going to be her light in the darkness. He always had been.

"You mean so much to me," Hana told him. "I often feel like… I'm not meant to be where I am. I was never meant to be a model or an heiress. But I… I'm meant to be with you. Always, you. You're my best friend. I could never forget you, even if I tried. You're my sun. I'll always orbit back to you."

He smiled back at her and pulled her up from the floor. She shook her head and smirked. Hana was quick to tug on his arm. The heated floors were rather comfy.

"You're _my_ sun," Takashi pointed out, laying the floor beside her. She had her head comfortably on her folded arm, looking at him. "I made that analogy first." He had a grin on his face. Hana giggled and surrendered. God, he missed hearing her laugh. Something about seeing her smile made his heart skip a beat. It was embarrassing at how juvenile she made him feel.

"Okay," she agreed. "Then you can be…" Hana rolled over onto her back, thinking of a better metaphor to describe Takashi. She frowned at her lack of ideas and looked over at him.

"What do you want to be?"  
"I don't know," He answered honestly. What was he supposed to be?

"The moon, then?" Hana thought to herself. "You're always there. You never leave your orbit. You provide light in the darkest of the night."  
"I do?" Takashi didn't seem to think he played that large of a role in her life.  
"Of course," Hana smiled. "I love you." The phrase rolled off her tongue so naturally. Hana didn't feel flustered this time. She wasn't afraid of what he thought of her this time around. He should have known by now.

It was just hard to believe. Takashi let the words ring in his ears. She scooted closer to him, embracing him to reassure that _she_ chose _him_ of all people.

* * *

 **A/N:** And... another trip has been made around the sun - I hope you all have a wonderful New Year. Thoughts are always appreciated.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Hana didn't hate her job – not entirely. She was trained to do what she did best, after all. But the hours were long and the markets never closed. Early mornings and late nights were a common occurrence. Work became her life and if she didn't have her grandfather to come home to every night, Hana could've sworn that she probably would have turned insane with no work-life balance whatsoever. Add events to attend to in the little free time she had to spare, and soon enough Hana found herself unable to get up for her regular weekly kickboxing sessions.

Takashi peered into her room where she laid in fetal position beside her laptop that still displayed real-time progressions of the stock market. He laid down the bouquet of pink baby's breath by her desk and put aside the laptop. Hana woke at the sudden shift on her bed, and realized the stock market was no longer within her view.

She jumped upright from her bed, still confused. Her eyes were still adjusting to the light before she noticed a figure by her bedside. Hana made a small noise of surprise before realizing Takashi was sitting on the edge of the mattress, obviously amused by her confused state. It wasn't the first time he caught her by surprise in the middle of the afternoon.

As usual, Hana ducked her head away from him and tried to cover her face.

"No, you can't look at me like this –"  
"—It's fine," Takashi never quite understood why she hated seeing him barefaced. It wasn't like he had never seen her without makeup before.  
"I look like a ghost with eye bags as deep as the ocean," Hana grumbled. She always had makeup to thank in the mornings, it made her look alive at the very least. Her fingers travelled up to the messy bun that fell apart during the night and groaned.

"Give me ten minutes, okay?" Hana left Takashi in her room before she bolted for the washroom. She tried her best to fix her hair – but the best she could do in a short amount of time was a ponytail. Hana quickly washed her face and slapped on a layer of foundation before concealing the dark circles that made itself a permanent fixture over the past year.

She poked her head into her room when she deemed herself to be presentable. Her ponytail swung behind her as Hana tilted her head to find Takashi in the same spot as she left him, only that he was on his phone. He looked up and greeted her with a small smile, opening up his arms to her.

Hana returned the smile and shut the door behind her.

"When did you come?"  
"Half an hour ago," Takashi answered. It was a regular chess tournament day for the elders. But it was also her birthday. Hana didn't seem to remember the fact as she was so caught up with work. The man reached over to her desk and offered her the bouquet he picked up on his way there. Her face brightened up at the sudden gift.

"What's the occasion?" she asked, taking in the scent of the flowers. They were small, dainty little blossoms which ranged from hues of pastel pink to a soft white. Her fingers travelled around the small flowers, noting how delicate they were. Takashi sure had an eye for picking out these things, she realized.

"Your birthday," he reminded. Hana looked up from the bouquet, quickly calculating the date. December 27th.

"Ah," Hana bit her lip in embarrassment. "I knew it was coming up but I didn't think it was so soon." She settled onto the bed beside him and kissed him on the cheek in thanks.

"Thanks for remembering for me," Hana grinned. He pulled her closer in response. He snaked his arm around her waist and she welcomed his embrace. His shoulder was left for her head to rest upon. They fit so wonderfully like puzzle pieces.

 _Of course_ , was what he said. He kissed her on the temple and watched as she admired the bouquet.

"I'd like a garden of these one day," Hana whispered. "I miss the wildflowers we used to see on our hikes. I miss the mountains and the woods. I miss being able to escape."  
"We still can," he offered.

Hana shook her head in refusal before sighing.

"I need to finish what I started."  
"How do you know it'll be finished?" Takashi nuzzled his nose into her hair. He wasn't trying to rush her. He reminded her that there was light at the end of the tunnel, that she was working towards a goal. It was not the end. There was hope left. If that was what he could give her during this time of need, so be it.

Hana sighed. "When I can walk away from this… it is over."  
"And what will you do when it is all over?" Takashi reached for her hand. Her fingers were cold. He intertwined his fingers with hers, enclosing his palm over her own and stroked his thumb over the bones of her hands. Every little groove, every ridge, every part of her hand – he wanted to know it.

Hana smiled to herself. "I don't know yet. But I… know I'll feel so much… lighter. Like I can breathe again." She turned the question back to him. "What about you? What do you see in your future?"

Takashi shrugged. Hopefully teaching. That was the goal, after all. The head librarian was also thinking to retire. The other day, the elderly librarian asked if he was thinking of staying at Toudai. Mori nodded to him and that was the end of their conversation. He thought it went rather well.

"Hopefully you," the man smiled at her. "I'd like you in my future."

She chuckled to herself. "And I you." Hana gave his hand a squeeze before reaching up to steal another kiss from him.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm escaping, just by being with you," Hana whispered to him. "I don't have to go far. I just… have to stay close to you. But the greatest part of it all is that you're _real._ You are reality. You aren't some kind of daydream I have to replay in my head."

"Daydream?" What an interesting way of describing it.

"I daydream about a lot of things. Mostly places. I think about the chilling winds on top of a mountain, but the stunning views of the ground. The warm and humid air of the jungles in Bali. The wonderful cliffs off the coast of Australia, the strong waves that bring you into the sea… that sort of thing."

Takashi nodded. "You miss feeling alive."

Hana sighed. He knew what she meant exactly. She craved for that rush of adrenaline, that insatiable desire for adventure. She was trapped in a cage, like a bird who wished to be set free into the world. Everyday was mundane, but such was life. Normal days were meant to be mundane, Hana was naïve in thinking that life beyond her teenage years would be exciting. While she was in school, her days were the same. When she began working, her days were no different – her focus only shifted to her career instead of her studies. Her life after all, was meant to be mundane.

It used to scare her – knowing that she would live a life so unfulfilling. It was an inconvenient truth. That perhaps, she would never quite amount to anything. That the mere act of survival was enough to keep her going.

She looked to her grandfather, whose sole purpose for living was his children. Of course, Hana was grateful for his care and the life he gave her. His days were mundane as well. But they accumulated into something wonderful – his pride and joy, the seeds were sown to his greatest achievement.

Hana had no maternal instinct whatsoever. She felt no need for offspring. Being a mother never interested her. Perhaps it was because of her own mother – but that was another issue that Hana was not prepared to delve into today of all days.

She thought of what would have been her father, the President – who dedicated his life's work into the company. How his days must have been so mundane to accumulate to a success after decades of hard work. What was his motivation? His vision? His sole purpose?

Hana brushed off the thought of having a large conglomerate under her control. The attention, the responsibility, the life of the President was honestly one that she did not envy. Kyouya may have strived for the power, but Hana did not.

Hana was still young, but it felt like she had lived for ages. She was still lost. Insecure. Unsure of what she wanted to do. Perhaps she would accept defeat. Accept the mundane lifestyle and never quite amounting to anything special. She was average. Just a regular person like anyone else. And perhaps, that wasn't such a terrible thing.

But for the time being, she was not like any regular person – at least not to the public. She was in the spotlight for being a rich heiress with a former job that garnered more attention that she liked. Today, it didn't matter. She wanted to sink into the anonymity of just being a regular person, with or without a purpose to her life made no difference.

She was living day to day. And today…

Hana looked to Takashi who only smiled down to her.

Today was going to be a good day.

* * *

The sun set quickly during the winter months. By the evening, it was pitch dark. Takashi asked if she wanted to go for a walk.

"Now?" Hana was surprised. They had spent the past few hours watching a documentary in her room. They were quite settled in their own comfort, cocooned beneath blankets and surrounded by pillows on her bed. He shrugged, letting the option sit with her for a few seconds.

"I guess?" Hana grabbed a thick cardigan from the closet and was quick to take his hand when he offered it. The elders were still at it with their chess tournament. The couple put on their thick jackets and began walking aimlessly through the park. He caught her hand and placed it in his pocket.

Hana noted something bright on the path that they had walked on, and naturally she gravitated toward it. It had been a relatively calm winter night, with the winds being mild enough to let the trees hang small lanterns above a park bench. It was like walking into a small cove, all to themselves. A private little corner with warmth radiating out of it.

Mori let her walk a little faster, happy that she was tugging him towards the light. Her curiosity was piqued, her sense of adventure had been sparked. He knew that Hana would be excited.

"Did you do this?" she was so amazed. It honestly wasn't much. But it certainly felt like a scene out of a movie. The ambiance was beautiful, even if it was in the dead of winter.

Mori shrugged. He had Honey help him in the afternoon. His cousin was very excited and was pleasantly surprised at how simple the task was. Strangers walked by confused, though no one made much of a move to disturb the scene. He quietly brought a small bag forward from the shadows. Hana widened her eyes.

"When… did…" She didn't notice him grab the bag before they left. Hana reluctantly reached out to accept it. Mori quietly took her hand and seated her by the bench.

"Open it," he nudged. It wasn't much, honestly. The lanterns were a little extra, but she did mention that she wanted to go to a lantern festival. But they missed it when autumn passed, and he remembered how disappointed she seemed when she realized that they were too late. Life had got in the way. Takashi with his classes, and Hana with her own work.

He figured that this would have been a nice opportunity. Even though it was not quite like a real lantern festival. Just a couple paper lanterns lit by battery powered lights.

Hana carefully took out the box from the cloth bag.

"Shoes?" It was a shoebox. Hana carefully opened the box to reveal a pair of white trainers, black stripes at the side and in pristine condition. She laughed to herself, wondering why Takashi thought to buy her shoes of all things.

"Yours are torn," Takashi explained.  
"They're well-worn," she smiled, correcting him.  
"There are holes," he reminded her. Takashi took note of her ragged shoes when he came by the dojo some nights after her grandfather had told him to go pick her up. She was wearing the same pair since high school. They were beaten and worn to the point where the soles were peeling off the bottom.

Hana shrugged. "Sentimental value, I guess? But these," she looked up to him and beamed. "These are very thoughtful. Thank you, Takashi." Hana reached up to kiss him on the cheek before sneaking another one from his lips. She laughed.

It was pure happiness. Absolute joy. She felt warmth from her head to her toes. She hadn't felt this way in a long time – unless it was with him. How he made her forget about reality for even just a brief moment – she didn't know. But she was fine not bothering to contemplate these questions – Hana made the choice to enjoy the moment.

"Why the shoes?" she whispered to him. They were alone – there was no reason to whisper. But this cove of theirs, their little hideaway, it only felt right to keep it a secret.

"For new adventures," Takashi explained, putting a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. He cupped her face and pecked her on the forehead. "For a new start."

Hana closed her eyes and nodded. She could appreciate a new start. A new adventure. A new leaf. A greater perspective.

"Why did you keep them for so long?" he asked.

Hana sighed. "Those shoes have been through… everything."  
He tilted his head, as if asking her to continue.  
"They were with me when I found out I wasn't… legitimate. They were with me when I struggled to land my first internship. They were with me when Hiro almost died. They were with me when I _did_ earn my first internship. They were with me when… I met you again. They have been through a lot, Takashi. And I mean, they still do the job –"  
Takashi shook his head and raised and eyebrow at her.  
"—Alright fine, they're in pretty awful condition. But there's… comfort in knowing that they've come so far, and so have I."

He gently pulled her into his embrace. "Yes, you have," he reminded. Takashi ran his hands through her soft hair, gently rubbing her back. She took a deep breath and relaxed, setting her head on his chest.

"I still have so much more to go," Hana murmured.  
"That's okay," he didn't mind. Takashi was going to be there, regardless. It didn't matter if he did not know what he had to expect. The future was meant to be unknown. But so long as she stayed, Takashi knew that whatever came ahead would be more of a struggle for her than for him.

He would be lying if he did not feel helpless when she quietly tried to deal with her own burdens. He was only able to do so much. Takashi was grateful for the fact that he had a simple life. He did not ask for much, nor did he feel the need to pursue anything to make him extraordinary. Takashi was content. Hana was only a bonus to his simple life. She brought him the excitement, the liveliness, the beauty, the wonderful things he never had thought to explore.

* * *

Hana asked if they could take the long way home. Takashi shrugged. It didn't matter to him. The elders would just spend a little more time together before Takashi walked his grandfather home. There was not a cloud in the sky, but the bright Tokyo lights made it difficult to spot any stars. Hana stopped looking up at the sky and paused.

"Do you see a future?"

Takashi tilted his head and shook his head in confusion.

"No one does," he answered.  
"Like, a future with me. One that you… you can realistically imagine. One that the odds are in our favour for."

He shrugged and never bothered to ponder such things. He was more about the present. The future was unknown – as it would always be. He had spent his formative years pondering the same thing. What the future would entail. If he would ever be successful, like his peers. If he would ever make anything of himself. If he would ever be good enough for her.

"Do you?" Takashi turned the question over to her.

Hana shook her head. "I'm just… afraid," she admitted. "I have always been afraid of the unknown, always lost and insecure about my capabilities and where I am meant to be. I just… I don't know. Do you ever think it'll end?"

"What will end?"  
"This cycle of self-doubt. The insecurity. The fear of the worst case scenario."

Takashi shook his head. "What do you think the worst case scenario will be?"  
"It's already happening," Hana chuckled to herself. She wished that she was joking, but her thoughts kept running through her mind. Anxiety plagued her sleepless nights and her stressful days. "Ojii-san is dying. I'm stuck in a position I do not know if I can escape. And you, oh my goodness – you. I don't deserve you."

"We've been through this," he smiled at her. But the truth is, he felt the same. He didn't deserve her. Some days he was able to forget. Other days were another reminder of how he was just a simple man with nothing to offer.  
"I know, I know, I know," she shook her head. "It's like, when everything is going wrong in your life and it's just difficult to believe that there is still… one good thing. When the world has beaten you down and you can't seem to remember what it feels like to have light in your life."

"I'm sorry," he murmured. He pulled her towards him, trying to comfort her.  
"Sorry?" her voice piqued. "You are the last person who has to be sorry for any of this. _I_ am sorry for being the one who has these burdens to share with you. I am sorry you have to listen to me whine and cry about my privileged life. I am sorry, Takashi."

"This is a terrible way to spend your birthday," he reminded.

Hana laughed. For real this time.

"Sorry," she smiled up at him. "Believe it or not, today has been a wonderful day for me."  
"Hm?"  
"I caught up on some sleep. You came to give me flowers. We watched a cool documentary. I have a new pair of shoes. You're walking home with me. This is wonderful. _You_ are wonderful. And thoughtful," she added. "You are so patient, and—"

He interrupted her by softly meeting her at the lips. She was able to voice her appreciation for him. He did it in other ways that he knew how. She smiled into the kiss and was quick to respond.

"I am so thankful for you," Hana whispered. "I don't want you to forget that," she reminded him of the qualities he never thought he had. She voiced how much he meant to her and he was not good at that. But goodness, did it make him feel like he was on top of the world.

* * *

Sawada-san watched as his granddaughter played with the dog. Kaina loved having her belly rubbed after dinner. It had been a ritual over the past few months and the dog was absolutely enjoying every moment of it. Hana too, loved spending time with the dog. Sometimes, she wished that she could be as carefree as the animal.

"Are you happy, Hana?" he asked his granddaughter.

She looked up and nodded. "Of course," she gritted out.

It was a lie. He wasn't sure why he bothered asking her. The grandfather knew how hard his granddaughter worked. How difficult life had been for her over the years. How she suffered silently on her own and put up a façade to make sure that he wouldn't worry for her. He was too old to tangle himself in the politics that she was forced into but that did not mean he couldn't sympathize.

"Be honest, Hana. What do you want to say?"

She shrugged. "I can't complain. I have food to eat, and a roof over my head."  
"I won't yell at you for being an ungrateful brat," he scoffed.

Hana patted her legs so that the dog could sprawl comfortably over the human. Kaina was oblivious to the conversation and was more concerned about the petting of her fur. She was so happy. Hana looked down and smiled.

"You really want to know what bothers me about happiness?" Hana murmured. "It's that people expect our generation to just _be_ happy. If we are not, then we're... entitled and bratty. People equate gratitude to happiness and they are not the same."

The granddaughter looked up to see her grandfather nodding in agreement. He let her continue.

"I appreciate the privilege I hold. I appreciate the education I have been given. I appreciate the security in my employment and the house I live in. I appreciate my family members and how far I have come. But I…" Hana sighed. "I am not happy. It just feels like the world is telling me I'm not allowed to be unhappy, you know?"

The elder felt a twinge of guilt. He had raised her to bear these burdens silently. He was unable to help, even if he tried.

"I have grown up with the privilege of being told that we are to enjoy what we do for a living, to pursue what we truly want to pursue, to love what we do. Some achieve that. Most do not. Reality never works that way, Ojii-san. People have to settle for the things they do not want in order to survive. Is it so wrong that we are unhappy, because we are trying our best to survive in the cruel world?"

"No," the elder sighed. "It is not wrong." He listened to his granddaughter intently. How young people's minds worked these days, he hadn't had a clue.

"When does it end? The constant struggle to balance our own survival with our own wants and desires? I thought life would be more fulfilling beyond my teenage years. But it isn't, and perhaps that's just how it'll always be," she whispered the harsh truth.

"Oi, you're still young, Hana," the elder reminded. She was only 23. Her late birthday was always a reminder of how young she was.

"I know," she smiled. "I'm still young. I just… feel old."

"Old? Oi, Hana, you try being my age," the grandfather grumbled.  
"But are you happy?" Hana posed the question to her own grandfather.

The man shrugged. "I have nothing else to be but happy."  
"Why?"

The elder sighed. "I'm 85 and I have experienced it all. I have loved. I have suffered. I have worked my hands to the bone to raise my son. I have raised you. Hell, I even raised that stupid dog. I'm done, Hana. I have been through enough to call it a day. I am content."

Hana nodded. That was fair. Maybe one day, she will be content. Maybe one day she would go through it all. Maybe one day.

But for now, the fight was still on.

* * *

They met every few weeks. He would send her an invitation via email, she would respond with her availability. It was a routine. It got their parents off their backs. They were able to focus on their jobs. It was a win-win. But in all honesty, it was more of a truce.

"You seem troubled," Kyouya noted. They were waiting at the elevator after a New Year's Ball. Hana shook her head.

"Just tired," she lied. "I mean, I am sure you are too."

The Ootori rolled his eyes. He was not stupid. If he could see through her façade, that meant other people could too. They could not have this if they were going to pose as a couple.

"What is it?" he persisted. Kyouya could tell that over the past few months, she withered away in her demeanor every time they were alone.

Hana shot him a glare. She wondered why he bothered to care so much. Of course, he wouldn't _genuinely_ care. What was she doing that was posing as a disadvantage to him?

"You cannot falter," he reminded. Ah, of course. It was to save face.  
"I did not falter," Hana raised an eyebrow. She was curt and rather charming at the event if she could say so herself. "Forgive me for thinking I did not have to pretend to like being at these events while I am alone with you."

The Ootori pursed his lips. Perhaps that was an indication of him feeling a slight twinge of guilt for not realizing that she had taken her mask off while she was with him. He had broken a barrier of trust. That was not a good thing on his part.

The woman crossed her arms. Tensions ran high between them while they stepped onto the elevator.

"One more year," Hana looked to the Ootori. "One more year until you get the company, yeah?" She had heard rumours about Kyouya being chosen as the heir officially. Hana would be lying if she said she hadn't been eavesdropping on all of the conversations at these events. Of course, this was a possibility. If all went well, Kyouya Ootori would be given the entire company when he turned 25. Technically, it was a year and a half away. It was quite young, but given the declining health of current Ootori President, the process had to be expedited. Hana had imagined that this arrangement would go on until they reached their 30s – realistically.

Kyouya cleared his throat. "I cannot comment on the matter."

Hana chuckled and rolled her eyes. "How's your father?" She put it a different way.

There was a slight hesitation before the Ootori answered.

"He is doing well, thank you. And yours?" he asked, as a means of diverting the conversation.  
"Fine as well," Hana responded flatly – without hesitation. Which was equally suspicious on both of their parts, but the two easily read between the lines. Kyouya knew about his father's declining health, and Hana… well, she was never close with the President.

The two stepped off of the elevator and waited for their respective rides home.

"One more year until I am of no use," Hana was not afraid of the truth. They had a temporary agreement, after all. They were not engaged, not by any official announcement made by either of their families. For now, they were just involved with one another – with the blessings of both families. The gradual progression to engagement was to be made when either of the two would succeed the company.

And by then, Kyouya forecasted that their parents would have no power so long as he was the heir. He got what he wanted: the company. Marriage was not a priority in his life. Kyouya could not stand wasting time with omiais and family dinners that were of no use to him. Likewise, Hana did not enjoy them either.

"You'll have to wait," Hana reminded. "Until things are fine on my end." And by fine, Hana really meant until she had full control to sell away all her shares to someone else. Someone trustworthy. Until she could sort out the structure of the organization without her or the President – she would leave when it was all in good hands.  
"That was the agreement," Kyouya nodded.

They stood in a comfortable silence for a bit.

"Why not the company?" he wondered. That was all he wanted. Power. Control. Fulfilling the duty of bringing the company to its utmost potential. It was an honour. It was exciting. It was everything he wanted. He didn't understand why she didn't feel the same way. It was a privilege to have the same kind of power that he did and to throw it all away?

It was blasphemy to him.

"It is not mine to keep," Hana had the same answer as she did years ago. It was as simple as that.  
"Then what will you do?" Surely, the woman must have had some kind of plan.

Hana shrugged.

"I have the skills to make the rich richer," she put it blatantly. "When I was young, I thought going into finance was practical. Turns out, I'm only widening this gap between the rich and the poor."  
"It is practical," Kyouya agreed. "Why not put it to use?"  
"I used to want to control hedge funds," Hana admitted. "But… like I said, I'd just be making the rich richer. It's not good."  
"Define good," the Ootori perched up his glasses. "Money makes the world go around, Hana. Being _good_ won't let you survive."

Hana smiled to herself. At the end of the day, it was all about survival. There was no winning.

"You're good," Hana admitted. "You may only look for profits. But you are good. Do you know why, Kyouya?"

The Ootori raised an eyebrow at her. "Enlighten me, Hana."  
"Because you _believe_ in your company. You believe in the purpose that it stands for. Your medical company makes breakthroughs in improving healthcare in the entire country – the profits are important, but I've seen your numbers. You reinvest. You're looking into a new direction. You're improving. Kyouya, you're doing _good_ in the world – even if you think you're not inherently good."

The Ootori smirked. "That's… an interesting perspective."  
"You think it's naïve," Hana could hear it in his voice. "But I don't care."  
"You haven't changed, Hana," Kyouya admitted. "You have grown. But you have not changed. You still want to do something… meaningful." Meaningful seemed like the right word to describe Hana's purpose.  
"I…" She sighed. "I'd like to try."

Kyouya nodded and offered a suggestion. "Venture capitalism is an option."  
"Risks are high," Hana pointed out. She cannot handle all of the risk alone.  
"But you can choose where to put the money," he pointed out. "Choose wisely, Hana. Choose to do whatever _good_ you deem to be worthy."

Whatever _good_ she deemed worthy, Hana thought to herself. Even when the Ootori got on her nerves, the man had some interesting perspectives to offer. It was what she was already doing at work. Only that the purpose was not to do _good_ , it was to increase profits. It was to grow the company. To acquire and to merge with smaller, developing firms.

Hana wondered why she hadn't thought about it before. She was so wrapped up in her little bubble, trying to handle her job and trying to escape that she couldn't even look ahead. The future to her, seemed like a blank slate. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Just another day of survival.

* * *

He had gotten busier over the past few months. The philosophy department was very small, an unpopular humanities subject that had only him and three tenured professors shoved away in a small corner. They could never compete with the psychology department, or even the history department. It was strange when the enrollment numbers began increasing for the introductory philosophy course when Takashi began occasionally teaching it, but the increase was welcomed.

Hana had gotten off work later than usual and was in a spontaneous mood. She needed something new – something that wasn't all about numbers on her monitor. The woman travelled over to Toudai, quietly making her way into the regular small auditorium that he was lecturing in today. She sat at the back row, isolating herself from the rest of the students who quickly filled up the rows ahead. She looked around and noted how attendance had increased visibly.

Takashi was busying himself with the projector and his laptop. When he looked up, he met eyes with her. He smiled up at her, giving her a nod of acknowledgement. Hana returned the smile and gave him a small thumbs up before leaning back in her seat and cozied up. She took off her jacket and sipped on her tea.

"Did you see that? I think he smiled at me," a girl in front of Hana's row whispered to her friend.  
"What are the chances that all of us enrolled in the course because the rumours were true…"

Hana took a look around the room. A good portion of the students were female, littered with a few male students who evidently did not know what they got themselves into. The woman at the back chuckled to herself when she realized that the kids had enrolled because they heard the course had the reputation of being an interesting one. But the attractive TA was a definite bonus.

She sat back and enjoyed listening to the lecture. It was such a shame that her university years had caused her love for learning to dwindle down to nothing. Every day felt like a battle of juggling assignments and exams, where studying was not done out of the love for learning and curiosity, it was done solely for a grade no less than an A.

When the lecture ended after an hour and a half, Hana stayed at the back until all the students had ushered themselves out. Takashi waited patiently for Hana to gather her things and to travel down the stairs of the auditorium. She took her hair down after a long day, her grey jacket rested on her arm while her black handbag was slung over her shoulder. A maroon sweater dress hugged her figure while her brown leather riding boots clunked their way down the stairs. She tried to contain her excitement in finally seeing him after a long week.

He held his arms out when she came close and embraced her fully. They stayed like that for a while – they were both tired and needed a moment of silence. A moment to recover from their busy day. A moment to breathe.

"You should sit closer next time," Takashi whispered in her ear before sneaking a quick kiss to her temple.

Hana shook her head. "The kids deserve the good seats more than I do. They deserve to learn." She kissed him on the cheek to finish her greeting.

It was these phrases that always caught him off guard. His heart skipped a beat. Not because she so swiftly kissed him – well, maybe it was that. But he couldn't help but to feel especially appreciative of her consideration for his own students. She came after a long day of work to see him. Hana took the time and effort and listen through his ramblings about Aristotle and Socrates. She beamed up at him. She was so happy to be beside _him_ of all people.

Of course, he couldn't help but to kiss her back. To tell her that he missed her too. That he loved having her in his class, even if she wasn't meant to be in it.

"The kids really like you," she told him.  
He raised an eyebrow. He didn't think so. He could have sworn the last time he taught this course, he counted five kids falling asleep.  
"You overhear a lot of things in the back," Hana smirked. "Like how hot you are."

Takashi cleared his throat and looked away from her. He looked at the blackboard. Takashi didn't know about these sudden… _reviews_ of him as a TA.

"Are you blushing?" Hana teased. "I agree with them," she added. He was wearing his regular getup. White dress shirt and black blazer, though he opted for no tie today. His hair was spiked up as it usually was – since high school. He looked down to her beaming face – she didn't mind that he was embarrassed, she found it adorable.

"It's a compliment," she tried to make him feel more comfortable about the fact.  
He cleared his throat again and tried to keep his composure. He tightened his grip around her waist and kept his expression neutral. "I know."

"I'm glad," she patted him on the back. "Let's go home, yeah? It's cold."  
He nodded in agreement. Takashi smiled at the thought of her company on his commute home. He missed having her around. They did not get to see each other every day, maybe on a weekly basis regularly. But it was enough for him, and he was happy.

The campus was quite empty at this hour, with many students and faculty already gone. Takashi was quick to lead her the way through the halls, his hand firmly gripping her own, with their fingers intertwined. He needed to grab his jacket from his office before they could leave.

"Takashi?" An elder woman waited outside of the office, dressed simply with a beige coat and her hair in a bun. Her wrinkles and fine lines were apparent when she smiled at the boy. Takashi perked up and nodded his head out of respect.

"Okaa-san," he greeted. Hana's eyes widened and quickly let go of Takashi's hand out of surprise. She immediately trailed behind Takashi, obviously blindsided by the sudden guest. When they met face to face, Hana lowered her eyes and bowed deeply – the most she could offer was her utmost respect, as she was raised to have.

"Who is this?" the woman asked.

Hana suddenly became a mute and looked to Takashi. He had never seen her so surprised before, the initial shock of meeting his mother seemed to have her in some sort of daze. She blinked a few times before trying to open her mouth to introduce herself.

"Hana," Takashi answered for her.  
"Hana?" his mother repeated, looking at the girl who had curled her lips into a small, polite smile. She seemed so timid, Takashi's mother wondered why she seemed so afraid.

"And what business do you have with Hana at this hour?" the elder raised an eyebrow at them both.  
"We're… friends," Hana meekly answered, with hesitance.  
"Good friends," Takashi added, clearing his throat.

Hana never quite imagined meeting his mother like this. Not in the middle of the hallway at his university, after a long day. She was hoping to be more prepared – with a gift or some kind, or some sort of formal setting to at least prove that she was more than just some… _friend_ Takashi hung out with.

"Good friends," the elder slowly repeated while looking at the both of them. How much more obvious could it have been? She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the youngsters.

"I just came by to say hello, Takashi. I left a box of Honey's favourite cookies and some snacks. I brought over the stationary you like using and watered your plants." She was aware that her son was staying later at the office, him pursing his doctorate was no easy feat. The mother looked to the girl who stared back with her large doe eyes, unsure of what to expect.

"And you," Hana stood up straighter when the woman talked to her. "Are you… a student here?"

Hana shook her head guiltily.

"What do you do, Hana?"

She bit her lip and answered as calmly as she could. "I'm a financial analyst."

The woman turned to her son. "Now, where did you meet someone like her?" People like that don't cross their social circles, that was for sure. Hana did not seem like someone who belonged in the simple life that Takashi had chosen to live.

"I sparred with her," Takashi explained. "I've known her since I was nine."  
"Ah," his mother nodded. "Yes yes, your grandfather used to tell me about… the Sawadas, right? You must be Hana Sawada, then."

The girl could only nod and smile. Takashi slung his arm around her shoulder, knowing that she had been tense the entire time. Hana looked at him perplexed. The mother watched the couple's dynamic with curiosity. The girl seemed like a nice fit, though she knew little about her. Hana's timid nature was rather sweet and fitting to her son. Or so it seemed that way.

"Well then, I'll leave you two to it," the mother took her leave but not before Hana bowing deeply again before saying goodbye. She raised with manners, after all.

Hana wondered what his mother thought of her. Her heart raced through her chest, her face stoic. Takashi smiled to himself and gave her a nudge on the shoulder to bring her back to reality. Hana shook her head and looked up at him.

"I hope she liked me," she murmured into his chest. "Gosh, I'm such an idiot." He laughed at the way she receded like a small animal in front of his own mother. Hana was never quite the type to back away from a challenge or an enemy. Tonight had her shaken for a silly reason.

But he didn't mind it as long as he was there to tell her that it was going to be alright.

* * *

 **A/N:** A belated Happy New Year (on both the Gregorian and Lunar calendar) to all of you. Trying my best to update as often as I can while I juggle my internship + online courses + putting my degree on-hold for a bit. It's a little strange being an adult. Or, pretending to be one for now, anyway. I hope all of you are doing wonderfully. Your thoughts, as usual, are always appreciated and they keep me writing whenever I can. :)


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Hiro spoke with his sister every few weeks. Juilliard had him working harder than ever, on projects that he loved through and through. It was an incredible feeling to be immersed in your passion – learning from the best of the best and from peers who shared the same passion as he did for music. He never failed to mention this each time they spoke.

"I didn't think I would ever love school this much, you know?" Hiro told his sister excitedly about a class he was taking.

Hana made it early to her office, it was a little past 7:30 in the morning. She was the first at work, as usual. Her diligence was never questioned, and Hana made it such that it would be kept that way.

"I'm glad," Hana responded to her brother as she typed away on her desktop. It was a typical conversation that they always had. Her inbox piled up quickly. She had two meetings scheduled today.

"I saw you in that magazine," Hiro kept up with the whereabouts of his sister quite well. Hana was always the one who was underestimated, and now she was finally taking the world by storm. He was proud of how far she had come. "Top 10 Women to Look Out For in the Business World," he quoted.

"Oh," Hana almost forgot about that interview. It was done a couple months ago and only now did the issue come out. Hana thought it would have been good PR for herself, and the company. "Thank the Twins for that one. They pulled some strings to get me featured."  
"Psh," the big brother scoffed. "Hana, even if the Twins had pulled some strings to get you featured, the magazine didn't have to put you on the _cover_."

She sighed. Hana was unaware of that executive decision. The magazine and the journalist came to visit her office to take a few photos and to interview her – but it was far from the regular photoshoots that she had experienced when she worked as a professional model. The cover had her looking at the camera with her nude lips parted, arms comfortably crossed over her chest, and her eyes focused at the lens.

"Damn, you looked fierce," Hiro reminded her sister. "Like you could rip someone apart."  
"That's what I felt like that day," she muttered. Or any day, really.  
" _Hana Sawada, one of the most humble industry leaders at the ripe age of 23, works at—"  
_ "Stop," Hana groaned. "Don't read it. "

Hana herself hadn't even read the article.

"It's well-written and a great reflection of your character. Mother will be very happy about this being great PR for the family, and I guess, the Ootoris will too. Say, how's Kyo—"  
"—As egoistic as you remembered him to be," the sister grumbled. "But useful," she had to admit.

"So what's going on? Like, is there a threesome situati—"  
"No, Hiro," Hana deadpanned. "Nothing of that sort. Why do you always assume the most lewd things…"  
"Relax, I'm joking – gosh, Hana, you're such a prude," the brother teased. "Listen, if I had two men pining after me, I'd be—"  
"They aren't pining after me," she corrected. "Kyouya and I are strictly business partners."  
"So you and Mori are…"  
"Not… business partners," Hana liked to avoid the topic.

"Hana – I'm your big brother. I tell you almost everything," he whined. "I want to know about your life too!" Granted, Hiro was aware of how much pressure Hana was under. Tackling the company and upholding the family honour was certainly not a job made for him.

"I met his mother the other day," Hana blurted out. She was still feeling awkward about the whole situation – a part of her wished that she could relive the moment again so that she could seem like a normal human being and not a terrified animal cowering behind Takashi.

It took a moment before Hiro processed the sentence to cheer on the other line. "It's about time!" Hiro groaned. "How many years has it been since you two were together?"

"No, the thing is – it was accidental, it totally blindsided me," Hana groaned. "It was awkward and—"  
"—And I'm sure it was fine," Hiro reassured. "You're one hell of a catch. Well educated, very successful, a great family backg—"  
"And that's what every other rich family in our social circle wants," Hana interrupted. "The Morinozukas are…"  
"No different," Hiro answered. "They may not mingle amongst the families like ours, but the standards are the same. Hell, we were _all_ Ouran educated. Think about it, Hana."

Hana still felt uneasy. Perhaps it was because on paper, she was perfect. But Hana knew that she was nothing like what others viewed her as. Successful? No, she was privileged. Pretty? She was only blessed with a good pool of genes that the majority of society considered to be good looking. Intelligent? Far from it. Hana did not have a knack for numbers, she was privately tutored and trained from a young age.

"I don't think their family is that simple," she sighed.  
"As if our family is?" Hiro laughed at the irony of her statement.  
"I mean, the rich have a cookie-cutter standard. I fit that because I have been raised like that. We all have."  
"Not me," the brother grinned. "I'm the worst nightmare."  
"You could be worse," Hana pointed out.  
"Party-animal turned Julliard-educated musician? I mean, I guess so. Except I'm also gay. So… that's a hard one to bury."

Hana laughed. "Are you coming home soon?" She switched the topic and closed the window on her desktop. Hana leaned back onto her office chair and made the genuine effort to listen to her brother, as a little sister should.  
"Ah yes. A Japanese director asked if I could score the soundtrack to his sci-fi movie. Pretty cool, eh? He said he's heard some of my EDM stuff. Best part is that I can come home to do it so I can catch up with the rest of my friends."

"What about Richard?" Hana pried. He was a saxophonist that Hiro was dating for god knew how long. Hana didn't keep up with her brother as much as he did with her. She felt guilty.

"We broke up, like 6 months ago, Hana," Hiro answered factually. "Gosh, it took you half a year to ask about him. How out of touch are you?"  
"Very," Hana admitted. "I'm sorry, Hiro. But are you doing okay?"

The older brother sighed. "To be honest… it sucked, a lot. But I didn't want to mention it because I knew you were busy."

As if Hana couldn't have felt even more guilty even if she tried. Her older brother tried his very best to keep in touch with her and she couldn't even repay the favour.

"I'm glad to hear that you're doing well though," Hiro brightened up. "You deserve to be happy, Hana."  
"You too," she murmured. "I'm sorry."  
"For what?"  
"For being a terrible sister."

Hiro laughed at how silly she was. They had been through this countless times.

"Hana, you're the greatest sister anyone could ask for – I'll always be indebted to you."  
"You aren't," Hana reminded him. She put herself in this position. It was always her decision.  
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Stop taking the damn high road. I know what you've done for me. I love you, okay?" Hiro brushed her off.  
"I know, me too."

The feelings were mutual. They were the kind of corny siblings that people likely found annoying. But they never fought. They never went through phases of being annoyed at each other. Hiro loved his sister from the moment he laid eyes on her – a sudden instinct to protect this new life. Hana, in return, had always looked up to her brother. Their childhood memories consisted of chasing each other through gardens, hiding around the mansion, and celebrating their birthdays together until they both grew into their own lives.

They were two different people.

But there were times where they were all each other had.

* * *

Mori never expected his mother to come visit him twice in a week. She was always busy running their real estate developments, all of which, Mori had no business of. He was lucky enough to have a mother who was happy to see her son satisfied with whatever path he took. The business was just a backup plan, a sort of safety net for her son. They were financially stable for the next few decades, given the amount of properties they owned.

"Okaa-san," he greeted his mother at the doorway of his office. He shared his cubicle with other graduate students, and was certainly not worthy of having his own separate room, at least not yet.

His mother smiled up at him. She dressed modestly, nothing too flashy – no jewelry, nor any makeup. Her hair was in a bun, her hands wrapped together from the cold outdoor winds. Her wrinkles were becoming more prominent over the years – but her smile was ageless.

The mother and son went out for a meal, a rare occasion nowadays. They ate in silence, as they usually had. Takashi had never been the kind of child to make conversation.

"Hana Sawada… she isn't just a financial analyst, is she?"

Mori looked up from his bowl of rice. His mother looked at him with curious eyes, her tone careful. She was trying to read her son's expression. Mori cleared his throat.

"What is it?" Takashi was unsure of what his mother was trying to get at.

"Hana Sawada is the heiress to the Sawada Corporation. Surely, you knew about this?"

Mori nodded. "Of course."

The elder woman pulled out a magazine from her bag, still crisp and fresh from being read once. Hana was on the cover. Mori raised his eyebrows, a bit surprised that Hana had never mentioned that she was featured or interviewed over the past few months. But of course, Takashi was proud to see her on the cover for a magazine that didn't just flaunt her beauty – but for her abilities. He made a mental note to bring it over to Sawada-san. He would appreciate seeing his granddaughter on the cover.

"She is a very impressive young woman," his mother murmured.  
"Yes," Takashi agreed.  
"Do you think… you can handle that?"

Takashi put his chopsticks down and tilted his head. What did his mother mean?

"We are a humble family," she explained. "I am afraid that Hana… may not be accustomed to how we live – just simply. We still have traditions to uphold through generations, with the Haninozukas."

"She isn't like that," Takashi reassured his mother. "Hana was raised by her grandfather."

His mother was still skeptic. "She will still be surrounded by the upper class, especially after she inherits the company. Are you prepared for that, Takashi?"

Takashi shrugged.

"Have you thought about a future with someone like her?"

He thought of it. He imagined a simple life. As he always had.

"Do you think she… will be satisfied?

He had slowly assumed that Hana would be – just genuinely happy, at the very least. But it still made him uneasy.

"I hope so," was all Takashi could say.

His mother pursed her lips and nodded. Who was she to meddle in her son's business, after all? He was an adult now. Takashi had been independent for years, while still taking care of his elders and keeping in touch with Honey. All she could ask was for her son to be happy.

"Do you think you will have a place, Takashi?"  
"A place?"

The Morinozukas never had any intention of mingling with the upper class – grounded to their traditionalist values, the extravagance was of no interest to the family. Takashi had never dealt with the kind of politics that Hana did on a daily basis. There were nuances to be learned, a language of the upper class that Takashi had no experience with.

To his mother, Hana was the polar opposite of her son. She was embroiled in the life of luxury. Her son was raised simply. They were what they considered to be middle-class, while Hana was above their class by eons.

"You will be expected to fulfill… expectations, Takashi," his mother was only concerned for his well-being.  
Takashi nodded. This was the reality that he chose. He never thought about it – or rather, he never really _wanted_ to think about it. He just… trusted that it would fall into place. They somehow, found each other after so many years. His naïve self had this unspoken expectation that no matter what, he trusted that she would make things work.

 _How_ it would work – he never thought about. The logistics had always been taken care of by Hana. He, on the other hand, was lucky enough to be able to sit back and watch her grow, and develop into the warrior that she had always been.

For the longest time, it always felt like a dream – just being with her. Being with the stars and the sun, floating above the clouds without a worry.

Now it felt like he was plummeting to the ground – to where he belonged after all this time.

* * *

He mulled over it for the rest of the week. And the week after. It ate away at him. Whenever he had a quick second to settle down, his mind couldn't stop but to wonder.

 _Do you think she will be satisfied?_

 _Do you think you will have a place, Takashi?_

And in all honesty, Takashi couldn't see himself with the upper class. Not the same way that his friends were. He could see her mingling amongst the crowds. With that polite smile of hers before turning away to look at the flowers, the windows, the meagre things to take her mind off of the lies that she had to tell. He could imagine her days with sullen eyes, her body tired, and her mind exhausted from the pretending. She was always irritated after work – and he could have only imagined the stress she put herself through.

But he could, at the end of the day, imagine her living without him. A soft nudge on his shoulder brought him back to reality.

"What's wrong?" she murmured. Her soft fingers ran through his hair as she looked up at him. He was obviously distracted while he was marking these essays and she'd been watching him from the corner of her eye while she typed away on a report.

She buried her face in his neck, her cold nose tracing the creases of his collarbone. Mori put down his pen and papers to the side and slid his arm around her shoulder. She wore that grey jumper that always made him wonder if she was cold. It always seemed too thin for the frigid temperatures they experienced outdoors while walking the dog.

"What's your plan?" he asked. No strings attached. No beating around the bush. He wasn't looking for vague answers. Hana's head rested on his shoulder.

"What do you mean?" she mindlessly intertwined her fingers with the hand that draped over her shoulder. Her fingers were thin, her skin dry from the cold wind. Mori grazed his thumb over her hand, like he always had. He had memorized the grooves of her knuckles, the callouses that she developed from boxing, the gracefully shaped nails she kept short.

"How will you… walk away from all of this?"

He felt her fingers tense, and in return – he held onto her hand firmly to tell her that he was here to stay. She lifted her head from his shoulder and adjusted herself so that his arm was no longer around her neck. Hana faced him because this…

This was something she wanted to avoid and _he_ of course, was the person to bring it up. Takashi was not stupid, after all. Bliss was never meant to last.

He never let go of her hand. She gave his palm a gentle squeeze before shaking her head.

"I don't know." Hana had to be honest.

"What do you mean?" his tone gentle. He never pried. He never pressured her. He was open to her thoughts, as always.

She gulped down the knot growing in her throat. She was ready for this conversation. It wasn't as though she hadn't ever thought of Mori never catching onto everything.

"I've been trapped… and I've known this since Kyouya and I started our partnership. I was buying time. But time is running out," Hana admitted. "As soon as he gets that company – I'll be of no use."

She shook her head. "The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing – or what I will do. But… I've accepted that whatever is to come won't be good and I'll just have to… fight."

"No?" His heart leaped. She had always been raised to be fierce. It was beautiful to have her sink into that persona comfortably. Hana returned the crooked smile that sat atop his lips.

"No matter how many waves come to drown me, no matter how strong the winds blow, or whatever element the universe chooses to test me with: you're… you're my rock. I can swim to you. Run to you. Crawl to you."

Her grip grew stronger, her eyes fiercer – he recognized that look. He fought against those eyes on the mat; he'd seen those orbs at the tipping point between her advantage and his on the mat. Those were the eyes that he always lost to.

Hana had faith in what they had. What they had built. What had formed over a decade of friendship. She wasn't going to lose it.

"I don't like how much I depend on you," she laughed to herself before looking away– as if trying to brighten the mood. "I know how silly it is. But the world is cruel – and I know none of this will end well. I wasn't ever destined for this kind of… _happy ending_ or bullshit that they feed you when you're young. But I'll take whatever I can get. I'm only afraid of losing you." She shrugged off her speech like it was a casual passing thought.

Takashi tugged onto her hand as if asking her to look at him. She lifted her eyes from the ground to lock with his.

"You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else," Mori told her. It was the truth. He always wondered why she didn't think so.

Hana shrugged. "I don't know. When you're raised with privilege, sometimes I wonder if I'm asking for too much when I have been given too much to begin with."  
"What is _too much_?"

She smiled. "Being… normal, I guess."  
"Normal?"

"None of this," Hana gestured vaguely with her hands. "None of these… high-class politics to play. Or honour to uphold. No more lies to live, and people to please. I just… want to breathe, Takashi. I want to _live_. I want to be _free_."

"You don't think you deserve freedom?"

Hana blinked and thought about it. The idea of being able to live freely. Whatever that entailed.

"I don't think I do," Hana quietly whispered. "I did this to myself, after all. I was so prideful that I thought this would be a chance to prove myself. How naïve, isn't it? I only propelled myself into this cycle of self-doubt, this perpetual state of anxiety about my next move. I suppose I underestimated my opponent."

"Who's your opponent?" he murmured.

Hana gave a coy smile.

"Reality," she answered, almost afraid. There was never any winning against reality. That was a fact.

"Reality," Mori repeated, slowly letting the word roll down his tongue. "Will I be a part of your reality then, Hana?"

Hana locked eyes with him. She was so tired. Beaten and emotionally bruised, she didn't have the time to heal nor bounce back. It was a gruelling fight to live on some days. Most days, she was numb. But with him, it was a temporary relief.

"Only if you let me," Hana whispered, her voice croaking. She knew how unfair it was, for him. To have him wait patiently, to have him watch her try to meddle her way out of this complex web. She refused to pull him into it, but she was trapped in a position where she wasn't sure if she would ever get out. Destined to be the heiress, to be pulled into some awkward arrangement between families to uphold the honour, to follow the cookie-cutter path that she was always set out to carry.

Takashi sighed softly.

"Hana, you should fight for your own happiness," he reminded. She used to always claim that she was selfish, when she wasn't – not at all. Mori had known her since childhood. She was always the first to apologize with her eyes, for the bruises that she caused. Hana was the kind of person who had always believed in the _good_. Good people, kind souls, bettering society in ways that she could.

But life slowly eroded her down, carving way for the realist that she was forced to become. Mediocre, at best – was what she was. Society had expectations of her that she was unable to shake off.

"My happiness is…" she trailed off, unsure what to think about her happiness. "I'm just trying to do the _right_ thing. I don't _hate_ my family, I just—I…" she was at a loss of words.

Her parents were not her parents – not in the traditional sense. But they provided for her – and she was unable to repay the debt of the privilege that was bestowed upon her. It drove her into an ocean of guilt, the thought of walking away and leaving those who brought her into the world in the dust.

Hana was raised better than that. She had values to uphold for the family. For as long as her name was Sawada, there was a void that had to be filled. Hiro was not going to do it. It was either her or him.

She chose herself.

It was her choice.

It was for the greater good.

Or so she had thought.

Hana had to grow up. After all these years of running away, years of thinking she was allowed to be selfish. Of course she could be – but at the expense of her conscience. She was raised with values that she could not shake off. Values of honour, dignity, and respect. Traditions had to be respected, even if she didn't like to think so.

Hana looked up from their intertwined fingers meeting his gaze. If she knew him well enough, Hana almost sensed fear.

"I know I… can be burdensome," Hana turned away. "And… you don't have to bear it," she reminded him. "I understand." He was after all, too good to be true to her. She wanted to be that person – _his_ person. If she could give an ounce of what he gave her, of how he made _her_ feel every time – she would. Hana knew she could not give as much as she received. His patience, his comfort, the quiet strength that he gave her.

He shook his head and tilted her head towards him.

"You can't keep telling me to leave if you want me to stay," Takashi was calm but the weight of his words fell on his shoulders. Hana could see that he hurt, just as much as she did at the thought of not being intertwined with each other. She was being hypocritical, of course – and he was not afraid to point that out.

"We fight," Takashi whispered. "Together."

That was all he could do. He would never leave her until she wanted him to. She could put up a front, and of course, Takashi had no doubt that she would survive without him. But she didn't have to.

And for the first time, it didn't feel like he never deserved her to begin with. She needed him – no, _deserved_ to have him by her side even if she didn't feel that way. He would never live up to the standards that her family would expect of him as a partner to Hana. But that did not matter.

For so long, he felt like he would never be good enough. Takashi knew, from the very beginning, that he would never quite fit with the upper class. With his mediocrity, his lack of sociability, and his entire lack of interest in climbing the social ladder. It was enough to be associated with the upper class, having friends be a part of it all.

It was no surprise to Takashi when his mother expressed her concern about Hana; after all, it was her choice to not assimilate her son into the culture of high society. Higher education, of course – but placing her son in the land of heirs and socialites? The Morinozukas would not stoop to that level.

But for her, perhaps he would. He would have to. And for Takashi – that was alright. She was not obligated to come down to his level, when he could rise to hers.

"Do not fight someone else's battles," Hana pulled him out of his thoughts as if she could read his mind. "Mine are not yours to fight. Stay. Let me heal. Let me recuperate. Remind me of why I am fighting against reality. Remind me that I am allowed to pave my own path, my own future, my own life."

Hana buried herself in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath. Her shoulders moved in sync with her breathing as his arm firmly was set around her waist.

"You are doing more than I can ask for," she told him. "How will I ever do the same for you?"

He held her tightly while her arms snaked around his neck. She climbed over his legs, careful to push away the essays to his side. Hana looked up at him, dead in the eyes. She was sorry and she didn't have to say it for him to see it.

"Let me in," he answered her. "You cannot suffer alone like this."

Her eyes welled up. She blinked away her tears and quickly tried to control herself. There was a lump in her throat as her nose began sniffling. This was what it meant to be vulnerable. To let herself go, even if it was a brief moment. He was allowed to see her cry, her fears, her worst possible state.

It made his stomach wrench. She knew it too by the way he looked at her, the way his eyes softened. His pursed lips that turned into a small frown. It gave him no pleasure to see her like this – but it was relieving.

"I," her voice cracked. "Usually cry in the shower," she confessed. "Sometimes I don't even realize it until I come out and I can taste the tears. Between the stress at work and thinking about Ojii-san, and who knows what is in store for the future – I can't help it. I'm falling apart."

Takashi nodded.

"You are human, are you not?" She was allowed to cry, even if she didn't think so.

Hana let out a chuckle, which sounded more like a cough as she tried to get rid of the lump in her throat.

"I thought I was your sun," her mouth twisted upwards in a grin. She had always wanted to be his sun, even if she claimed that she was not. "Guess I'm human after all?" Her eyes averted away from him. She was just human. She was another vulnerable person, like any one else. She was mediocre, never quite destined for greatness. And perhaps, that was alright.

Takashi shook his head and met her lips. He didn't have to tell her that she meant more than a metaphorical sun to him. Irreplaceable. Essential to life. She was everything he had always wanted, and he hadn't even had a clue about it until a few years ago.

She responded hesitantly, as if trying to understand what he meant.

 _I don't care about the sun. The moon. The stars. You're everything to me._

* * *

"Oi, pass me your omamori," Sawada-san grumbled early in the morning. Hana was in the midst of chowing down her morning fruit bowl before she scampered off to the morning train. The granddaughter eyed her grandfather suspiciously.

"It's already past the New Year," the elder scoffed. "I have to replace your omamori."

The granddaughter frowned. "It's icy outside. I've always had bad luck anyway," Hana shrugged. "No need to replace it. Stay home, Ojii-san. Don't pretend I haven't seen you limp around the house lately – use the cane."

"I do not need a _cane_ to walk in _my_ house!" he barked. Hana didn't bat an eye – it was too early in the morning to argue about this. "You think I'm some kind of degenerate already, Hana?!"

The granddaughter sighed. "It's icy outside," she repeated. "I can't afford to have you break a leg or fall. Stay home," she ordered. The limp got worse over the months. His tremors were more noticeable. Hana refused to let him cook without her in the kitchen these past few weeks.

The grandfather limped his way over to the living room, where Hana had her work bag sitting on the ground by the entryway.

"Whatever," the man grumbled to himself. "The omamori wasn't for luck, it was en-musubi, something that should have gotten her married by now. The damn priest lied to me…"

"What was that?" Hana called from the kitchen. She finished washing the dishes. It was 6:23 AM. She shuffled over to the room where her grandfather was in, sliding over the door to catch him dumping out the contents of her purse.

"Ojii-san!" Hana shouted. "My laptop is in there!"  
"Psh, you can afford a new one with all of that fancy money you're making," the elder brushed off.  
"I don't spend money recklessly!" the granddaughter replied, exasperated by how stubborn her grandfather was. It was too early for this.

He tossed through her makeup bag, her laptop case, and her wallet. There were a few miscellaneous receipts, a couple pens, and a stack of band-aids before finally finding the wooden tag covered in royal blue silk that he had gotten for her the year prior. Every year, he ventured to his regular Shinto shrine, only a train away in the countryside. It was always a quiet journey, with Kaiina following him. While Hana was studying throughout university and high school, Sawada-san made sure to bring back gakugyo-joju, in addition to the kaieun that would grant her luck.

It sure did, given that Hana was always a star student. Heck, even the damn dog got an omamori for protection.

His granddaughter shook her head and rolled her eyes at the elder. "This is silly, Ojii-san. I don't need a little silk pouch to grant me luck. Just stay home!"  
"You can't tell me what to do!" he scolded.

Hana groaned. "Come back before sunset! I will call you at my lunch hour. Don't do anything stupid, okay? Go to a nearby shrine. Get the damn things, and come home!"

"Geez, Hana – aren't you going to be late for work?"

Hana was in the midst of gathering her things back into her bag before she checked the time on her phone. It was already past 6:30 in the morning.

"Shit," the granddaughter scrambled to get herself out the door. "Don't do anything dangerous, Ojii-san!" she called out to him before putting on her boots to catch the train to work.

* * *

Sure enough, there were four missed calls when Hana came out of her meetings at 1 PM. One voice message. Hana took a deep breath. Don't jump to conclusions, she told herself. She immediately called the number of her grandfather's cellphone. It was a bulky Motorola flip phone which he had refused to upgrade from. He claimed that all the fancy features of a regular phone was a waste of money.

A stranger picked up.

"Hello?"

Hana cleared her throat. She really should have listened to the voice message but Hana had no patience to dial in and have an automated machine walk her through the steps.

"This is Takashi Sawada's granddaughter calling," Hana kept her voice neutral.  
"Ah, ah yes!" the voice on the other line spoke up. "Your grandfather was admitted to the ER for a fractured ankle a couple hours ago. I am the nurse."

Hana sighed.

"We are looking at some of his test results but he refuses to give us any of his medical history. His bones are brittle from old age, but it seems like he may also suffer from a motor dysfunction?"

The granddaughter took a deep breath.

"Tumour," she gritted out. "He had a tumour in his brain a decade ago."

The line was silent for a minute.

"You should come as soon as you can," the nurse replied. Sure enough, more tests were going to be ordered. Everything would turn into a frenzy. Everything that her grandfather hated about his illness would begin to occur – the nurses, the doctors, the tests, all of the unnecessary attention. He would hate her for it. But it had to be done.

It felt like time had frozen all of the sudden. Her office was bustling with papers and people, but Hana could only stand against the wall of the corridor outside of the meeting room. She couldn't breathe. Her vision became starry. Her rational mind had been put on pause.

All she could think to herself was that this was the beginning of the end. This was it. She could not deny that her grandfather was fine. The tests would prove it. The evidence did not lie. Hana needed to stop avoiding the truth.

"Sawada-san," the voice was muffled to her ears. "Are you alright? You have been standing there for 15 minutes."

She blinked. She tried to process that sentence as quickly as she could.

"Y-yes," Hana replied. "I – I have to go. Excuse me."

No explanation needed. Today was not the kind of day where she would offer any kind of explanation for her absence or for her behaviour. She did not care what her colleagues thought of her as she stumbled her way towards the elevator, bag on her shoulder, jacket half-on as she frantically pressed the elevator button.

When she reached the hospital, Hana was informed that the patient had been transferred to the Ootori Private Hospital. But Kaiina had been left behind, waiting patiently for her owner in the waiting room by the entrance. That could have only meant one thing: the President knew.

Of course he would have known. Given how she left the office in such a frenzy, someone must have informed him. It did not take a lot of brain work to realize that something was wrong. Hana took the dog with her, noting the newly attached omamori on the leash. She let Kaiina settle at home before making her way over to the Ootori hospital.

It was already the evening. The sun had set. Hana was a ball of anxiety. She could not think straight. She had already tripped twice on her way over, and nearly took the wrong subway line to get to the hospital. The woman confidently walked over to the reception of the hospital and was informed that her grandfather was in the VIP ward. She was not on the list of visitors.

"Call that room," she seethed. Fury was the tip of the iceberg in what she had felt at that moment.  
"I am afraid I cannot do that," the nurse told her.

Hana took out her own phone and called Kyouya.

"Get me on that visitor list," she demanded. No greeting. No explanation. Knowing Kyouya, he would have already known about her grandfather being admitted into the VIP ward. The Sawadas were a name that he took note of.

"At what price are you willing to pay?" the Ootori did not do things for free.  
"If you had any decency as a human being," Hana was on the verge of punching the man the next time she saw him. "You would not be discussing this."

Kyouya took a minute to weigh the options.

"Very well, then."

The two hung up. Hana stared down the receptionist. Hana's cold glare only escalated when the woman picked up the phone, ignoring the person in front of her completely.

"It seems like an exception has been made," the woman told her factually. "Security will be down shortly to escort you to the room."

Within minutes, two men appeared before her and led her towards the VIP elevator. Hana crossed her arms, her defenses up. She was unsure of what to expect, but she was prepared to fight what ever came her way. The hallway was bustling with nurses, and each door led to what seemed like a hotel suite. Private care was expensive, but it certainly paid for itself.

She knocked on the door to where her grandfather was staying.

"Come in," a gruff voice answered. She could recognize it anywhere. Hana quickly slid the door open and found her grandfather in patient scrubs, laying on a white bed covered in a thick blanket. He was hooked up to machines, his leg was wrapped in bandages, as his face had a scowl.

"This is unnecessary," he rolled his eyes. "I had a fracture in my ankle! What is all of this?!"

Hana breathed a sigh of relief.

"You didn't fucking use the damn cane," the granddaughter shot back. "And you _know_ what all of this is. Had you not gotten hurt, this wouldn't have happened."

It was the old man's turn to roll his eyes. He looked around. "Oi, where did Kaiina go? Did you feed her?"

They had been stuck in the hospital for so long. When Sawada-san was transferred, the dog hadn't come with him. He was worried sick about the damn dog and he couldn't believe himself for it.

"Kaiina is at home," the granddaughter answered. "I fed her before coming here."

"Oh, I got you the omamori!" her grandfather changed the topic. As if everything had been normal. As if they were back at home, and she just came back from work. As if the rhythmic beeping of the EKG hadn't existed in the background, or that the fact that they were in both their most hated place was not true.

"Ojii-san—" Hana was about to tell her grandfather that the omamori was not important before the door slid open again.

"You shouldn't be here."

Hana turned her head to find the President standing at the doorway. His hair was in the midst of greying, his posture as tough as stone, the suit he wore was pristine. The wrinkles on his forehead grew prominent while his eyes narrowed at the unwelcomed guest. They father-daughter duo looked nothing alike.

"You let this happen," the President pointed to the young woman. "You couldn't even take care of the person who—"  
"—It isn't her fault," Sawada-san cut in.

"I gave you a chance. I thought that with a watchful eye, it would be alright but—"

Hana did not refute his points. It was her fault for letting her grandfather go. Hana already knew that things were bound to go awry, but she knew she couldn't control the elder. It was a delicate balance between giving him freedom while trying to keep her grandfather safe.

"It _was_ alright," the grandfather grumbled. "You make things so dramatic."

"You're staying here," the President decided.

Hana looked up from the ground and shook her head. "No, he is not. He is coming home." The last thing Ojii-san would have wanted was to stay in the care of all these people, with no freedom to do whatever he wanted. Being trapped in a small room for days on end was his worst nightmare. The elder always had things to do, and it was more than sitting in a bed all day.

"He is going to walk toward his death if we do not put him in palliative care!"  
"I do not need palliative care," Sawada-san interjected. "I am old, but not dead yet."  
"Exactly," Hana argued for her grandfather. "He is perfectly capable of –"

"—Hana, stop deluding yourself. Who are you to make decisions for this man when you are not family?"

Hana paused. It was an inconvenient truth that always stood in her way. One that she could not deny. But she was tired of being thrown the same punches over and over again, being defenseless against the same tactic that kept guilt-tripping her into feeling like an outsider. She did not belong – she never did.

"And you would call yourself a son when you never call? Or visit?" she kept her voice steady, as much as she could.

"I am busy," the President spat. "I have a company to run. This is why palliative care is the solution. Can't you see?" It made logical sense.

Hana narrowed her eyes in anger. "These are _lazy_ solutions to just get him of your hands. You cannot pass him off like you did with me."

She hit him where it hurt. Hana was no fool to lay docile with the man who had no qualms in taking a stab at where it hurt her the most. The President shook his head at the girl.

"You wouldn't even understand the _tip_ of what I have done for you, you ungrateful b—"

"—That's enough," the eldest Sawada raised his voice. The silence that fell within the room was laced with fury and tension. No one moved. The only sound was the constant beeping of the EKG in the background, a standstill occurred between the father and daughter, complete with Sawada-san caught in the middle.

* * *

 **A/N:** I wasn't expecting life to get so busy these past few months. Many apologies for the lack of updates - seems like my internship + online courses have taken a good chunk of my time. I am always thankful to all of you who keep up, despite the sporadic updates. The writing and inspiration never stop; I just wish I had the time to gather my thoughts more often. As usual, your feedback and thoughts are appreciated. Much love to all of you.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"It is a lot worse than what we expected."

Sawada-san scoffed. "I feel fine though." His bones ached, his joints were stiff – but that was just what regular old people felt. He did not complain because it was just his regular norm. Sawadas did not complain about a silly nuisance.

His son had rushed from his office after putting his father in the best hospital possible. He had taken the rest of the afternoon off to make sure that his father was fine. As it turned out, he was not. And if he had to be honest with himself, the son couldn't have been surprised. He saw this coming.

"It hurts to walk, doesn't it?" the doctor asked.  
"No," the patient lied. "I'm fine."

The doctor looked at the son who only sighed.

"He won't admit it," his son shook his head. "What is the prognosis?"

"Half a year, at best," the man in the white coat answered grimly. "It will get worse at a faster rate if we do not treat him with the proper medication and care." The doctor passed the paper report over to the son who only glanced at the papers briefly before turning to look at his own father.

The elder reached for the papers himself and then shrugged. It was bound to happen. Death was always around the corner. Now he was coming to meet with it face to face. A part of him was curious to see if he could punch it right in the gut, tackle it down, and live another day. But another part of him was willing to breathe, stay at peace, let the time take him away piece by piece. It was a strange feeling. But overall, he felt… acceptance.

"You cannot show Hana this," the grandfather closed the report.

His son shook his head. "She'll know." He hated to admit anything great about the child, but she was a clever one. He gave a look of dismissal to the doctor who scurried off with a nod of acknowledgement.

"Just let her carry on with her life as she normally would."  
"I do not think she can." There was no malice to his voice. His tone was factual. But it still irked him to think that his own father had thought he could carry on with his life as he normally would, but someone like that child could not. For heaven's sake, _he_ was his biological son. How could _he_ carry on with his life as he normally would?

"She will," the grandfather assured him, though it sounded more like he was trying to assure himself. "Like you will," he added. "You are both strong but stubborn – like your old man."

"She won't be able to work," the President grumbled to himself.

"Let her go," the elder's voice was soft. He did not demand for it. It was a suggestion. The right choice. And his son knew it too. "She was never meant to fill your shoes. Not that she couldn't, of course. The girl can do anything – but she cannot live that way."

The President frowned. "She took it upon herself."  
"Because she saw no other choice to uphold the family's honour," Sawada-san countered. "She is not silly. She could have spent the rest of her life overseas, never having to step foot here again. But she willingly came back, entangling herself in this misery."

"That is stupid," the son spat.  
"Is it?" the father chuckled. "It was a rather dignified choice, don't you think?"  
"Stupidly sacrificial," he corrected. "I never asked for her to come back. I gave her what she had wanted the entire time."

She wanted to be the heir. She was now the heir. Now she no longer wanted it? It was a stupid game of tug and war with this brat.

"She's trying," the grandfather whispered. "Her very best."  
"To do what? Stir things up?" the President scoffed. "She's nothing but trouble."

The elder sighed. "She is not a mistake."  
"I never said that," his son growled. "She has nothing to do with me."

The father sighed and shook his head. Hana, to his son, was a mistake. A shameful one – one to ruin his reputation above all else. But there was more to that. She was the physical evidence of absolute betrayal from the woman he thought he had loved. It hurt him and it crushed him. But he had no choice but to carry on.

"It is not her fault."  
"I know," the President gritted his teeth. He knew all of this. But she was still a stranger. She was still someone that he had nothing more but a professional relationship with. "But why did _you_ do it?"

"Why did I raise her?" the elder mulled over this question. "Because I needed to repent for my mistake for not being able to raise you. Somehow, Kami-sama decided that this child would fall into my arms and I thought, well. This is it. I can do it over again, correctly this time."

The President stayed silent. His father was never around because he worked day to night. They were never that close as father and son but his efforts did not go unnoticed. Food on the table, shelter above their heads, and an education to thrust his son into a better life: these were practical needs that had to be met. Emotional support was a luxury that their family could not afford.

His mother had died while he was in University. It took a toll on both the father and son. They never spoke about it.

"Even if she wasn't mine?" Hana was never his granddaughter to begin with.  
"But she was innocent," Sawada-san pointed out. "She never asked to be thrust into this. How could you deprive this innocent child of a proper upbringing?"

"She had everything." _Food. Shelter. Higher education. More than enough opportunity_.  
"And she knows it too. I did not raise her to be ungrateful."

"You raised her well," the President reluctantly admitted. "But what will she do without you?"

Hana was much too attached to her grandfather. If he wanted to look at this from a professional standpoint, he would be losing productivity in his company. Even if she was just a small fry in the grand scheme of the large corporation, she did her job well.

If he had to look at her as… anything but an employee – he struggled. It was hard to define what they had. But he felt sympathetic. He was losing a father. She too, was losing a father. For someone who never had much of a parental figure to begin with, it was a loss for Hana that he struggled to put into words.

"She will… carry on," the grandfather shrugged. "She will persevere. But… not under your wing. She will break free. And you, no matter what, will have to let her go."

* * *

"That's enough," the eldest Sawada raised his voice over his two children who squabbled. He sat comfortably in the bed, his back propped up by a pile of pillows. He raised his hand to silence the two.

"I'd like to go home," Sawada-san began. He was cut off before he could even finish his sentence.  
"You _can't_ go home," the President argued. This was the best option for the patient. Any rational person would think so. The old man would walk towards his own death if there was no one looking after him. Sure as hell, Hana could not be the one to take care of him, not when she had to work.

"Why won't you listen to your own father?" Hana pointed out. "His freedom and independence should be valued more than your convenience."

"My _convenience_?!" The President hollered. "How dare you don't think I don't put his best interests in mind! Did I not transfer him to the best hospital in the country? Would you think I would put my own father in a mediocre facility with subpar care?!"

"This isn't about something your _money_ can buy him! This i—"  
"It's alright Hana," her grandfather cut in. His son always had his best interests in mind, and he knew this. He had the top surgeon remove his brain tumour a decade ago, he had nothing but the country's top experts to rehabilitate his motor skills during his recovery. These things were not overlooked. Hana and his son had two different ways of expressing their care for him – and that was quite alright.

But they never saw eye to eye. Their stubborn nature clashed with each other and Hana no longer wished to stand her ground, to stay in her place. There was no way he could leave these two alone.

"It's _not_ alright to have you miserable for the rest of your life with people babysitting you! That's not what you want," Hana looked directly at the President. She glared at him with daggers in her eyes, daring him to refute her point.

"So you would rather him walk to his own death? Do you know how fragile his bones are? Do not talk about the best care when you are only blindly holding onto him like a child who cannot let their parent go. You are not in primary school, Hana," he spat her name like it was poison to his tongue. He looked at her as if she was a child, a little girl who was too scared to let go.

Hana exhaled and shook her head. She relented.

"Is that wrong?" she murmured. "Am I not allowed to keep my grandfather? To let him live the way he wants to? You can't ship him off and assume that it will solve your problems. Not when you are the one who has never had to see your father suffer. Every single step he takes with his stiff joints, every time he bends down to pick things up, every single day is a torturous ordeal that _I_ watched. And you," she took a deep breath.

"You sit in your office every day looking over the profits that we have made every 24 hours. While I come home to watch my family silently struggle to live."

"So let him stop suffering!" The President roared. "You _let_ him suffer! You think you're doing some kind of charity work by giving him this _independence?!_ Who do you think you are?"

Hana blinked away her tears. This is not the time to cry. This was her fight that she was going to take on.

"I'm trying to give him the happiness he deserves," she seethed. "And _you_! You are taking it away! You never even _care_ to know what _he_ wants."

"I don't _care_? How could you—"  
"Quiet down," Sawada-san cut through the screaming and the yelling with his own, calm voice. He had his eyes closed and his body still. Everyone took a minute to catch their breath. She could feel her heart beat through her head. His body tensed to the degree that his muscles cramped. Both children seethed with such rage that the whole room heated up with pure tension.

"I will decide," Sawada-san opened his eyes. "But for now, you two should go home."  
"I'll stay," Hana interjected.  
"You have work tomorrow," the President reminded.  
"I _know_ ," Hana shot him a glare. "Do not question my diligence."

Sawada-san shook his head.

"Go home, Hana," the elder patted her hand. "Kaiina needs to be taken care of."

Hana huffed. "I'll come by after work tomorrow."

The grandfather nodded with a smile.

* * *

"It is a good place. The finest care you will receive. And it is by the ocean, you love the ocean," his son sat by his father's bedside. There was a palliative care facility that the Ootori group owned. Complete with 24/7 healthcare, there was still freedom to go about one's day with activities and nature walks around the area. He explained what the place was like, and he too, in his free time, had toured the area. The President had thought about this in case such a scenario had come to fruition.

"I cannot let you keep living on your own," it was not a demand. He was careful in his tone, wary of how his father felt about having to be taken care of. This was not like that. It was for his own safety and health.

Sawada-san solemnly nodded. "Hana will not like this."

His son gripped the edge of the bed tighter. "She'll live with it."

"It's time, isn't it?" the elder sighed. "I will get worse soon before long. Well, at least you two won't have to watch me crumble into a degenerate—"  
"—Don't say that," the President cut him off. "I'll come visit when I can."

The elder nodded. "She'll fight against this."  
"When will she ever stop fighting…" the son grumbled. "She always has a knack of saying the wrong—"  
"—She has a knack of hitting you where it hurts," the father corrected with a chuckle.

The son shook his head. "She infuriates me sometimes."  
"Only because you provoke her," Sawada-san smirked. "But she means well."  
"I _know_ ," the President hated to admit it.

The father and son sat comfortably, letting the EKG fill in their silence.

"Tomorrow, then?" Sawada-san murmured. He would have to leave without saying goodbye to Hana. But perhaps, it was for the better. He would not be able to leave if he saw her face. It was difficult to say goodbye to the child, even if he hated to admit it. She was a grown woman now, with eyes of a fierce tiger. But even so, Hana easily reverted back to being the small fragile little girl that he molded into a warrior. The little girl that didn't want to go home to the mansion after every weekend. The one who begged to stay at the park for another five minutes to be on the swings.  
"Yes," the son nodded. "We can get everything ready by tomorrow. We can have someone pack your bags while Hana is at work."  
"But the damn dog," the elder grumbled. "The damn dog will be there."  
"What?"  
"It's quite… feisty against strangers," Sawada-san explained. It was a guard dog, after all.

The President scoffed. "Why did you get a damn dog?!"  
"Hana got the dog for me," the elder grimaced. "I too, was opposed to it… but she became good company after a while."

"The facility doesn't allow for pets." Obviously, since having animals around posed a biological hazard with many patients and those with compromised immune systems.  
"I figured that," the grandfather grumbled. "Oh well. At least she can keep Hana company, right?"

The son reluctantly nodded. He hated to admit it, but a part of him always felt envious of the relationship that his father had with Hana. But how could he blame them? He was a grown man in his fifties, too old to be parented. He had passed his prime in being the child to his father, and now he fulfilled his duties as the filial son by taking care of his father in the best way he could.

Sawada-san became the father that he was never able to be for his biological son. And for himself, the President had never really been a father to anyone. A part of him felt empty, seeing how fulfilled it made his own father feel. He never quite got the chance to be a father.

Relationships were never his strong suit. Computers, hardware, circuits, profits, and business – those were terms he could speak in. His own wife left him for someone else. And she tried to repair their relationship by being the matriarch of their family, of keeping up their reputation, of doing what she knew that she did best.

But it wasn't enough for him. It was never enough for him. It would never mend the hole that was left in his soul and he chose to ignore it. He chose to work harder, thrust his emotions aside as he drove further and further into growing his corporation. It was his outlet.

And for a long time, he felt numb to it all. Nothing mattered more except profits. The numbers. The product. The innovation. He was driven. He was content at work and only at work.

But his own father brought him back to life. Where emotions mattered, and his own pain became too real to ignore.

The President sighed.

* * *

Takashi heard through his grandfather that Sawada-san had been admitted to the hospital.

"The old man is fine though," his grandfather brushed off. "He called me himself, with his brick phone and all from the hospital."

Takashi quietly got up from the dinner table and brought his bowl over to the kitchen. "I will go check on Hana," he told his grandfather. The elder did not protest and nodded, even asking him to bring over some food for the young woman. After all, she was like his own granddaughter after all these years.

Mori made his way over to the Sawada residence, easily passing through the gates with his spare key. The lights were on in the traditional home. He knocked on the door and could hear Kaiina shuffling on the other side before a quick bark to alarm the owner of his presence.

Hana slid open the door. She had her damp hair tied up in a rough bun, her eyes drained after a long day. She sighed and gave him a small smile before letting him into the home. Kaiina was quick to pounce onto the legs of the familiar guest.

"Kaiina, _down_ ," she ordered. The dog complied without a second thought, wagging her tail while she waited for the guest to slip off his shoes. Mori silently placed the bag of food on the ledge before Hana slipped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest.

"Sorry," she murmured. Hana felt him tense up for a second before relaxing into her tight grip. Her freshly washed hair smelled like jasmine and her soft t-shirt was still warm from the dryer. She was his height when she stepped on the ledge between the shoe area and the door.

Takashi silently returned the embrace, soothing her by rubbing her back. He kissed her at the temple and pulled away. She smiled at him tiredly.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, even though he knew the answer was no.

The dog barked, as if she was the one being asked the question.

"Kaiina hasn't eaten since 5 hours ago, but I'm fine," Hana answered.

Takashi stepped into the familiar home and grabbed her hand to lead her into the kitchen. He quickly reheated the dishes and assembled the meal in front of her. Kaiina sat near the two, circling around the table for scraps of leftover food patiently.

"Eat," Takashi told her. He watched as the woman reluctantly picked up the chopsticks.

"I'm not hungry," she said meekly. "I have no appetite."

"Did you eat at all today?"

Hana thought about it. She was stuck in meetings until 1 PM and she hadn't gotten the chance to eat since 6 in the morning. Hana had been running on adrenaline all day. Her body completely forgot that she was hungry. But even so, Hana had no appetite.

Takashi quickly spooned out the rice from her bowl and carefully placed some of the minced vegetables on top. He held the spoon out to her face. Hana instinctively moved away from the sudden movement but Takashi held it in place. She stared at the food for a second and looked back at him.

Takashi narrowed his eyes at her, gesturing towards the food.

Hana got the message. He would spoon feed her if she refused to eat. She sighed and nodded, taking the spoon from his hand. Takashi watched as she ate reluctantly. Kaiina brushed between their legs and wagged her tail every few minutes before Hana crumbled.

"She's hungry too—"  
"—You eat first," Takashi stood his ground. Kaiina was always hungry. Hana sighed and complied. She had no energy to argue. Not with him. She didn't want to argue with him.

"How did you know?" Hana murmured. He didn't usually come without a reason.  
"Sawada-san called my grandfather."

She rolled her eyes. Like teenage girls, the two grandfathers had to update each other on _everything_.

"You alright?" Takashi wasn't sure why he bothered asking. It was obvious she was shaken up, even if she didn't look it.  
"I'm fine," she answered, a little too quickly. She too, caught herself and sighed. Hana was unsure why she was so quick to be defensive, even with him. Her pride refused to back down.

She finished up her meal, leaving a few scraps for Kaiina who happily devoured it all. Takashi refused to let Hana do the dishes, telling her to go relax in the living room and that he would clean up. He found her sitting on the ground, with Kaiina over her legs. The dog was on its back, blissfully ignorant to the whole situation.

"She's such a good dog," Hana murmured. "You know Ojii-san has trained her to sniff out weeds in his garden right? He makes her pull them out for him."

Takashi nodded and sat beside her. He rested his arm around her so she could let her head relax against own shoulder. Kaiina sprung up from Hana's legs and made the effort to wedge herself in between Takashi and Hana. Smack dab in the middle of the two, she made herself comfortable without a single care.

The pair laughed at the creature. A little moment of bliss in their reality of chaos. The dog wanted to be a part of whatever they had. She turned to him and kissed him tenderly, her slender hand cupping the side of his chiseled jaw against her.

She was too tired to say thank you but she hoped that the gesture would suffice. He responded in his own way by chasing her lips, leaning over the dog that wedged between the two to put his hand around her waist.

She laughed against his lips and let his forehead rest against hers.

"Kaiina isn't helping, is she?"  
"No," Takashi grumbled, a little irritated by body of fur that kept them apart. She kissed his cheek and parted from him. He wanted to reach out to keep her closer, but the damn dog wouldn't budge. She held onto his hand instead. The dog rested itself between the couple, drifting off to sleep.

"Don't you have class tomorrow?" Hana knew he had early mornings on Wednesdays.  
He shrugged. It was fine.

"You should go home," Hana looked up to him. "I'll be alright."  
"Sleep," he told her, knowing that she didn't get much to begin with.  
"I will," Hana assured him. "You should too."

Takashi gently laid her head on his shoulder. "Rest." He didn't want to leave without knowing that she would sleep. She stayed in that position, comfortably against him. Once Kaiina had been fully asleep, he felt her breathing slow. In between that hazy period between drifting off into a deep sleep and being half-awake, Hana could feel him carefully lift her from the legs.

He carried her to her bed, tucking her in. She could have sworn she caught his hand before he left. She felt his lips kiss her forehead and whisper of good night.

And then suddenly, it was morning again.

* * *

Just as she promised, Hana got off work as soon as she could and made her way over to the Ootori Private Hospital. Hana let her hair down after a long day, stepping out of the elevator into the VIP ward. The young woman's heels clacked confidently down the hall, making her way to the same room as yesterday, only to notice that the plaque outside of the door no longer had the name of the patient.

She slid open the door to an empty room. The bed was made perfectly for a new patient. The machines were all off. The entire room smelled of antiseptic solution.

A nurse walked by, noticing the intruder.

"Excuse me, Miss – are you an authorized visitor?"  
"Takashi Sawada," Hana responded. "Where did he go?"  
"I cannot disclose the whereabouts of our patients, Miss," the nurse answered. Security was tight here.

"I'm his granddaughter," Hana said through gritted teeth. The title of being a granddaughter was not earned by her, not to the eyes of the President. "Hana Sawada."

The nurse nodded curtly. "Let me check if you are on the list."

Hana made her way over to the reception desk. Her mind was reeling through all the possibilities. What if his condition worsened all of the sudden? Was he taken for more testing? MRI scans? Emergency surgery?

The nurse did a bit of typing into the system. Hana Sawada was, in fact, on the list of authorized visitors made present only 24 hours ago by some sort of special exception.

"Your grandfather has been transferred to our palliative care facility in Shizuoka."  
"Shizuoka?" Hana repeated.  
"By the sea," the nurse tried to jog the woman's memory. "It's a very nice facility – built only a few years ago." That did not help. Hana did not care about these little details.

"When?" Hana could not come up with full sentences any longer.  
"Around noon, Miss." The nurse patiently answered her questions without judgement.

"What room?" Hana inquired.  
"I'm afraid that is not in the file. You would have to pay a visit, or call the facility." The nurse waited for more questions but was only met with silence. At each passing second, the young woman's face turned into a bigger scowl. She curtly thanked the nurse before taking her leave, quickly catching the next elevator.

Hana called the President while she made her way down to the ground floor.

 _No answer_.

She called again.

Still nothing.

She was being deliberately ignored and she knew it. Hana wanted to scream. How _could_ he? He could he deprive his own father of the proper care that he wanted? Hana was filled with fury, from the core of her bones that ravaged through her fingertips. She wanted to kick the wall, punch the next person she saw, burn the whole hospital down.

 _Stop_.

She took a deep breath. Hana knew she was only one step away from throwing a tantrum. She tried to think rationally.

But all she felt was hurt. Like something had been ripped away in her body, a sudden hollow feeling that sat in her stomach after it had dropped a thousand feet. _Breathe_ , she told herself. Her body was on overdrive. Her deep breaths suddenly turned into short gasps for air.

It felt like she had sprinted a mile, trying to catch her breath. She was hyperventilating. Her vision became starry. It felt like the walls of the elevator were beginning to close in on her, the world spun. Hana held onto the railing, balancing herself against the wall. Her fingers fumbled against the screen of her phone, trying again to call the President.

The elevator dinged. She was on the ground floor. But her legs would not move.

"Miss?" A nurse peered into the small space. "Are you alright?"

She looked like she had just seen a ghost. Her face pale, her breaths ragged and inconsistent. Hana blinked a few times, and nodded.

"F-fine," she stuttered before stumbling her way out of the elevator and finding herself a seat in the waiting area of the lobby.

It was a panic attack. Her mind shut down on her and her body had all these involuntary responses that left her as a shell of a ghost. It was the beginning of the end. How her grandfather had been stripped away from her without a word. He left. She was alone.

Her fingers turned on her phone again. Another unanswered call from the President. She gave up and decided that it would be best to speak with him in person tomorrow. For now, she needed to get home – if her body would allow her to.

 _Call Takashi._

It was a rational thing to do. But she felt silly to call someone to get her from the hospital. She was not raised to buckle in the face of distress. A panic attack was not going to stop her. But her mind kept spiralling. It was harder to recover from than she had thought.

Something about trying to think rationally, about remembering which subway lines to take only led her to thinking about what Ojii-san was probably thinking when he was shipped away to some far away city. Away from his garden, his friends, his own routine that he had established for decades.

A nurse approached the shaken woman. The hand on Hana's shoulder startled her.

"Can we help you with anything?"

She had been sitting in the same position for half an hour, almost without movement. As though her mind had dissociated from reality. It was a little concerning, especially for those who walked past the slouched human.

"Um," Hana cleared her throat. She wouldn't be able to take the subway, not in this state. Her zombie-like mind wouldn't keep her safe. "Could you call a taxi for me?"

"Of course." The staff at the Ootori Private Hospital provided the utmost service, of course they would – they were paid an exuberant amount. Hana sighed and stood from the wooden seat that held her limp body for the past half hour.

 _Get it together._

* * *

He was in the midst of gathering his things at the end of the day. Unmarked essays, his laptop, and his small pencil case that he had kept since Ouran. Takashi's phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from Hana.

 _Hana Sawada: I need you._

It was unusual for her to ask for help. Hana would rather die than ask for help. That was the sort of mantra which the Sawadas worshipped. Takashi Sawada never buckled to ask for help, and Hana, similarly, would follow in suit.

But this was different. He rushed out of his office, running his way through the campus to catch the quickest train back to their neighbourhood. His legs had a mind of their own, tunnelling his way through the subway station and through the park. Takashi's hands fumbled in his pockets for his keys to the gate of the Sawada residence half an hour later.

Kaiina ran up to the gate before he could open the doors. Hana followed a few minutes later. She was still dressed in her business attire, a maroon sweater dress that hugged her figure with her hair pulled up again in a messy bun. She really should have worn her jacket out, he thought. It was still the middle of winter.

Hana let him through the gates and silently led him back to the house, with Kaiina following closely.

"Have you eaten yet?" her voice barely alive. He took off his shoes and stepped into the home. He placed his briefcase by the entrance and took a good look at her. Hana looked like she had just come back from the dead. Her complexion as white as snow, her lips were an ashy pastel pink. Her eyes lifeless, with dark orbs which reluctantly followed her range of sight.

"Are you alright?" Takashi ignored her question.

Hana shook her head and crossed her arms. "Not… now."  
"What happened?"

Hana ignored his question and led Kaiina back to the kitchen. She filled up the bowl with dog food and let the animal eat.

Takashi watched her with weary eyes. He had never seen her like this. Not in this sort of state.

"I need you to think rationally for me," Hana leaned against the kitchen counter. The dog was now occupied so that the humans could speak without interruptions. "Because I cannot."

"Hana—" he tried to ask her for the context. She cut him off.  
"They took him away from me," Hana seethed. "Shipped off Ojii-san to the middle of nowhere, by the _fucking_ sea like that makes everything okay! It's _by the sea_ they said. _A very nice facility_ ," she quoted. "Fuck if that makes it any better!"

She exploded. Takashi was taken back by her sudden rage. Hana receded and looked away.

"Sorry," she relented. She was out of control and she didn't expect herself to lose it. But here she was. She was human, she was hurt, and she needed _someone_.

"It's alright," Takashi reassured.

"How _could_ he? He didn't even think to consult me, or even my grandfather before taking him away and plopping him in some kind of building where he is trapped with nothing to do, being babysat like he can't take care of himself!"

"Hana—"  
"This is unacceptable!" she finished. Hana took a moment to catch her breath. The pair sat in silence before Kaiina sat by their feet. She waited patiently for the humans to play with her. She had been alone all day. Hana grabbed a chew toy from the stash and threw it across the home, into the living area. Kaiina leapt after the toy within a second.

Takashi walked over to her cautiously. She was in an emotional state – one that he had never seen before. She did not need to be held. She needed rationale.

He placed a hand on her back, trying to soothe her broiling fury.

"Who took him away?" Takashi murmured.  
"My fucking _father_ ," she hissed. Hana said it in the same tone as he would, if he called her his daughter. With disgust. "Like he had _any_ intention of looking for Ojii-san's best interests!"

Mori let her calm down for a minute before posing another question.

"Sawada-san would not go anywhere unless he did so willingly."

It was true. Her grandfather would put up a fight, even if Hana wasn't there. The fact that it took less than 24 hours for him to leave that hospital… things did not add up. He would scream. He would yell. He would kick, if he had two functioning legs and not a fractured ankle. He would have thrown a tantrum. That man had no shame. He was old, he always flaunted that card around. Elders were always given a free pass: to speak loudly, to get first dibs on seating, to do whatever the heck they wanted.

"But he wouldn't want to leave… he likes going on walks with Kaiina, he likes to go grocery shopping and doing his calligraphy in the afternoon, he likes his weekly chess tournaments… he—" Hana huffed. She was trying to defend her grandfather. But in the end… "He wouldn't leave _me_!" She choked out the truth.

Tears poured down her face. She wiped them away immediately – refusing to believe that the wet sensation on her skin had ever existed to begin with. She hated this. She _hated_ being vulnerable. Being a whiny little child. She _hated_ that she was being entitled and selfish. Hana had succumbed to being everything she tried not to be.

But all she wanted was her grandfather back. She wanted the man who taught her how to fight to teach her how to fight against all of _this_.

For so long she refused to _feel_. But today was the tipping point. She was angry. Betrayed. She lost her only parent. She lost the person who raised her.

And he left.

 _Willingly._

It tore her apart. It ruined her. She couldn't think straight. Like the ground had been pulled beneath her, she fell to deeper to the depths of the earth.

Takashi pulled her into his chest as she silently sobbed. She let out a gasping noise, a cry for air. Hana pulled away and wiped her face. Black streaks of her eyeliner plagued her hand. She must have looked like a monster.

"God, I hate myself," she grumbled. "I'm a fucking mess. I'm sorry you have to keep seeing me this way."  
"It's okay," he told her. His voice was soft. Comforting. Non-judgemental. She needed his rational mind because hers was lost in the void.

Hana walked over to the cupboard and poured herself some water. She was trying to gather herself together.

"Fuck," she swore to no one in particular. "I guess I'm making a trip to Shizuoka over the weekend," Hana thought to herself. "And an appointment with the President tomorrow morning."

She was back. Her voice was steady. Takashi was always amazed by how the woman became so focused. Suddenly, everything became clear as day. Her eyes narrowed as she began thinking about her next move.

"Hana," he murmured. He watched as her eyes darted back and forth, her mind drifting away. She was planning. It was almost terrifying if she was plotting against you. "Slow down."

She looked up from the glass of water. "I'm not… I'm not going to kill anyone," Hana joked, coughing in the midst of it. Her throat was still choked up.  
"Good," Takashi gave a small smile.  
"I just wish I was given… the courtesy of being told his decision. He kept me in the dark like he did about my own lineage. I mean, am I… am I really that naïve?"

Hana paused.

"I guess so," she admitted. She of course, just had a breakdown over the past few hours. "But that doesn't excuse keeping me in the dark."

Takashi shook his head.

"Hana, I'm sure he has his reasons to leave." He gave the voice of reason while she was clouded by emotion.

She took another gulp of water. "Well whatever it is, I'm allowed to be mad right?" She needed someone to validate her feelings. No matter how childish it seemed.

"He's your grandfather," Takashi reminded. "Don't stay mad for long."

Hana frowned before groaning. "You're right."

She put her glass down and stepped closer to him. She had finally calmed down. Hana looked up at him, remembering the look of panic when he first stepped into the house. He must have run out of his office to get to the house in record time. How did she end up with someone as wonderful as him?

Her heart had gone through too much for today. But for now, it was bursting with gratitude. Hana could not believe how lucky she was. Her fingers traced his jawline. He smiled down at her, as if asking _what? What do you need, my love?_

"Thank you," she whispered. He tucked her into his embrace without a word. She kissed him sincerely, her lips pressed against his jaw and down to his neck. He held her for as long as she needed him to.

He would gladly do so forever, if needed be.

* * *

 **A/N:** A reminder that it's alright to be human (this is something I tend to forget). I appreciate your patience and your wonderful words. Thank you for reading as usual. I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"You need to go home. I'll be fine," she assured him. Mori gave her a look of concern. His hands lingered around her waist as she pulled away. He had no doubt that she would be fine, but she was just… in a fragile state that he did not feel comfortable leaving from.

"Kaina will keep me company," Hana tried to convince him again. The dog was quick to recognize her name and came prancing towards the couple in the kitchen, complete with the chew toy in her mouth.

Takashi sighed and quietly grunted to himself. He let go, only to have her tug her on his arm so that he would look down at her.

"I'm okay," she told him again. "It's been a long day for you, I'm sure." Hana gave him a weary smile, before pulling him down for another kiss. If he wouldn't believe her words, she'd have to tell him otherwise.

He could not help but to smile, and in return, she couldn't help but to chuckle by his response. Hana hoped that it would be this easy to appease him forever. She pulled away and lingered for a little bit, breathing in his scent. He always smelled a little like tea, mixed in with whatever detergent he used for his clothing. Hana didn't mind – it hadn't changed for years, and to her, it was comfort. It was home. It was what made her heart feel at peace in the midst of all the chaos.

"Go home," she told him, even though she fully knew that she didn't want him to leave.  
"You need to let go of me first," Takashi smiled.

Hana laughed quietly. "Yes, yes, of course," she agreed and took a step back only to be pulled forward again. He was never really one for words, nor jokes. But it was his way of teasing her, of trying to make her feel better.

Kaina brushed herself against their legs, reminding them that she deserved attention too. The two crouched down and gave her a scratch behind her ears.

"She lives such a blessed life," Hana murmured as she let the dog lay on its back. Hana sighed and thought about her own life. "But I do too."  
"Do you?" Mori tilted his head. In the midst of all the emotional distress, this seemed like the last thing one would say.

"Ojii-san wouldn't let me forget such a thing," she reminded him. He kept her grounded. Humble. Her privilege was something she grew to be aware of. "I grew up lonely," Hana reminisced about her childhood. Empty mansion hallways, private tutors, being shuttled from location to location, pretending to look nice for a whole day in front of a camera, and the cycle repeated.

"But I do not think I would have had as fulfilling a childhood without Ojii-san," Hana thought about the weekend sparring. The ice cream at the convenience store. The park. The menial chores she was forced to do around the house. He gave her normalcy.

She did not know what or how to repay him. It left a hole in her heart. An aching pain in her chest amongst the ocean of guilt she already treaded in.

"Or you," she added.

Takashi tucked her beneath his chin. His childhood wouldn't have been complete without her, nor his grandparents. They were childhood friends, albeit in a strange way. For years they would see each other once a week. The words they spoke were through the bruises they left on each other's bodies, the bloodied joints and aching pains they felt the next day. It was far from a traditional friendship.

But even so, they learned to say hello by the first jab. Learned how their respective weeks had been by how they tackled one another. Their fighting techniques were a reflection of their character. Takashi was cautious, but slow. Hana, was quick but impulsive. Two halves of a whole, they made each tournament a battle of wit with a touch of brute strength. They grew into each other, how their bodies melded as one over the years was not a mystery.

Takashi watched how she gently stroked Kaina who laid comfortably on her back. Hana had that glow in her face, a dewy complexion and those fragile eyes after tears had tainted her cheeks. Takashi couldn't help but to reach for her, gently placing the loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

"Go sleep," he told her. "You need it."

Hana shook her head. "Kaina needs to walk."  
"I'll take her," he was quick to offer. Kaina's ears perked up at the word walk. She knew that word. The animal immediately rolled over to her legs and sat patiently for her leash to be attached. Hana couldn't help but to smile at the obedient dog. She sure was trained well.

"Go wash up," Takashi insisted. "I'll drop off my things and take her around the block." Hana bit her lip. It was a tempting offer, but Hana knew that he had gotten off work immediately just to see her. Who knew what obstacles he had to overcome to show up at her door within such little notice.

Takashi saw the guilt in her eyes, and just before she could say no – Takashi walked off to grab the leash from the door. Kaina followed along the human. Hana also followed in suit, albeit reluctantly.

"Are you sure, Takashi?"  
"Mhm," he responded without hesitation. Readying himself by grabbing his briefcase and gloves, Hana tugged onto his arm. Takashi gently brushed off her hand, and firmly planted a kiss on top of her head. His own way of telling her that he would be back and she did not have to worry. Hana watched as he left.

Her legs stumbled to find her way, her arms grasping for the walls for support after the door had shut. She was so exhausted and she wondered how long it had been since the last time she had stopped pretending. Ojii-san was the person that she had come home to, the only place where she was allowed to relax, even for just the night. To be able to eat a meal with her grandfather every night, to come home to their dog who loved them for just being human.

Stress levels at work were always high, and with the added pressures of society gnawing at the back of her mind, Ojii-san was another issue that she hadn't expected to deal with immediately– Hana was only barely keeping it together. It all came crashing down all at once.

* * *

Like a jolt of lightning that ran through her body, Hana bolted upright. Her breathing was heavy, her palms were clammy. She ran her fingers through her hair, strands of her black hair tangling between the grooves. She was too young to be losing hair like this.

Confused and in a daze, Hana looked around.

When did she fall asleep? She could only remember barely climbing out of the bathtub and changing into her pyjamas. She was wearing an old t-shirt, the grey cotton was soft from the nightly use and absorbent enough to wisp all of the sweat that had accumulated on her palms. A pair of peppered sweats had risen up from her ankles to her calves. Her memory was blurry.

Did she faint from exhaustion?

Hana looked around. The lights were still on. Tatami mats were beneath her, the heated flooring was on to combat the cold. Hana was still in the midst of catching her breath before a shadow was casted on her. Her vision cleared enough to see a glass of water being offered.

His weight shifted the mat beneath her, his large hand rubbing her back.

"Bad dream?" he murmured. It was Takashi.

Hana shook her head, still trying to gain a sense of reality.

"What time is it?" her voice dry. Hana reached over for the water.  
"Past 11," he answered her. She could see him in his regular windbreaker from the corner of her eye and of course, his track pants that he always wore. His clothing of choice when it came to comfort. She gulped down the liquid, feeling much more relieved. Hana looked around for her phone. She needed to check the markets. It was a habit now. It was the first thing she did in the morning, the last thing she did before she slept.

"Past 11?" Hana repeated. US Markets were open. That was her first thought. Her next one, she said aloud. "What are you still doing here?" He had a seminar to teach tomorrow, she remembered.

"You didn't eat," Takashi murmured. "I wasn't allowed to leave until you ate."  
"I wasn't keeping you here," Hana shook her head. For goodness sake, she was asleep.  
"My grandfather said so," he answered.

Hana sighed. "Send Morinozuka-san my regards – I appreciate his concern. But you should head hom—"

Mori shook his head. "Don't tell me to leave. Not when you're like this," his voice cut through hers. He had watched her come back from a daze, a sudden jolt back to life. It was concerning. And he refused to look past it, even if she thought otherwise.

"You have a seminar tomorrow," Hana reminded.  
"In the afternoon," Takashi told her. "Your phone is charging," he added, noting her eyes that had been darting across the room. He found her asleep on the floor, phone in hand, head upon her elbow. Her hair was still damp. She slept so peacefully, it would have been a shame to wake her.

Takashi carefully took the phone out of her hand, her screen black from being out of battery after a long day. He had gone to grab a blanket for her before hearing the sudden movement behind him. He peered over to see her breathing heavily in distress, and quickly went to grab some water instead.

"You don't have to stay," she was stubborn, as always. It wasn't about her pride, it was about always seeming like she _needed_ to be taken care of. Of being so fragile all the time – she didn't want to have to keep showing him this side of her. It was, quite frankly, embarrassing.

But Takashi did not think so. Not one bit. She was still the woman that he grew to fall in love with, with her resilience and her strength. She was allowed to be vulnerable. She was all the more human, more genuine. Each passing hardship was nothing more than another means for her to get stronger.

"I want to stay," his voice softer this time. "Please," he tried again, waiting while she weighed the options in her mind. Hana sighed, shaking her head.

"Just for the night," Hana murmured. "Let me make breakfast for tomorrow mor—"  
"—It's done," Takashi told her. He had cut up the fruits for her in the morning. He would reheat the salmon tomorrow and the rice was already prepacked from his home. He was well aware of what her diet was like, only because her grandfather had told him about it when he came by occasionally.

Hana groaned. She was a grown woman – with no food in the fridge, little sleep, a taxing job, and a personal life that kept her feeling like she drowned in every day.

"Can I do something _for you_?"

Takashi gave her a small smile. "Rest. Eat properly. Let me stop worrying," he listed off.

She could only sigh. Hana nodded, compliant to his list.

"Okay, but—"  
"—No excuses," Takashi cut her off. He got up and offered his hand to her. "Go sleep."

Hana grabbed onto his wrist, propelling herself forward – almost with a little too much momentum. She landed only centimeters away from his neck, looking up at him. She could feel own breath against his skin. His hand still held onto her firmly.

"But what about you?" she asked.

Takashi shrugged. It didn't matter where he slept. He could sleep on the guest futon that her grandfather kept stashed away in a closet. Takashi knew about it because he helped with cleaning every year while he had the chance to during his undergrad. He was tasked with taking care of Sawada-san, after all.

Hana frowned. "Wait," she told him, letting go of his wrist. Her steps were light as she raced up the stairs, quickly returning with a large mound of blankets in her arms. She too, knew about the futon. Hana set down the futon in the middle of their living room, smoothing out the wrinkles. She worked quickly, and got up to turn up the heat in the flooring so that it wouldn't be freezing over the night.

Her nimble limbs settled down in the comfort of the soft fabric, she patted on the floor to invite him to sleep.

Takashi tilted his head. "Together?"

Hana laughed quietly. "You don't want to?" Her tone suddenly turned amused.

The man blinked a few times. Well it wasn't like they hadn't done so before. It was just – well, he wasn't used to it. He wouldn't… _mind_. He just – a part of him couldn't help but to hear Sawada-san's voice barking at him around the corner.

"You can take my bed," she offered. "I can sleep here – I mean, I've already done so." He was the guest in the home, after all. Guests were to be treated with proper care and respect.

"No," Takashi quickly refused. It wouldn't be right to do that. "You should take your own bed. I can sleep here."

She raised an eyebrow and reached for his arm. _Come on_ , she smiled up at him. Her doe eyes were tired but they twinkled in the light, almost begging him to just stay for a moment. She tugged a little on his wrist.

"I—I have to wash up," Takashi sheepishly told her. Hana only replied with a small chuckle and nodded.  
"Quickly then," she urged, letting go of his wrist and patted his shin.

Hana walked over to the electric outlet and busied herself with her phone. She already had 3 unread emails. 10 news alerts. She quickly skimmed through them all, making herself comfortable on the futon. By the time Takashi had come out of the bathroom, he found her in the same position.

Hana's knees were tucked into her chest, her head resting on her elbow. Her phone had fallen out of her hands, and she was on top of the pastel blue futon. Her breathing was steady, her eyes closed. Takashi gently took the phone out of her hands and placed the device back to charge. He lifted her up so he could place the blanket over her body.

"Don't leave," she murmured. "If you want to stay, stay here," her voice was barely a whisper. Hana was much too tired to lift her eyelids. But she could imagine a small smile on his face, feeling him place her down against the hard floor, cushioned by the clouds of fabric.

Hana sensed the lights turning off. A sudden warmth beneath the covers. An arm that snaked around her waist, the sound of his lungs breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Sleep," he told her. "I'm here."

* * *

She woke to her shoulder being shaken. The skies were still dark. The sun had not risen. It was 5:45 AM.

"Fuck," Hana swore when she realized that it was time to get up. She hadn't slept that well in ages. She just wanted to crawl back into her covers, and snuggle in the warmth. Granted, it was only 6 hours of sleep. Hana usually got up before her alarm because of anxiety and turned it off at the first beep.

She forgot about the body beside her. The vibration of the ground that corresponded to his laugh in the morning. For some reason, Takashi found it amusing that she cursed first thing in the morning. Truly, a Sawada trait. He moved his arm and let her go.

"Shit," she covered her face. "How did I forget that you were here?" Hana scrambled to rub away any of the debris that had formed in her eyes overnight, running her hand through her hair to tame the strands. "Sorry, sorry," she apologized. It must have been a much earlier morning for Takashi than it was for her. His seminar wasn't even until the afternoon, for goodness sake.

Takashi watched as she scrambled to get out of the futon, telling him to sleep some more. But it was too late. It was quite alright though, 6 hours was plenty for him to function for the rest of the day. He got up and stretched, letting Hana take the bathroom first.

She brushed her teeth and washed her face. Hana was in the midst of putting on foundation before he peeked into the bathroom door. She left it unopen and could see his curious face poke through.

"Ah, Takashi – I'm so sorry, you should go back to sleep. I didn't mean to cause such a ruckus. Perhaps you were right about sleeping in different beds," Hana admitted, continuing with her makeup. It was a daily routine that she had mastered after many years.

He only tilted his head, watching as she worked to cover the dark circles which disappeared like magic. Her complexion was dewy and smooth, airbrushed to perfection. It was fascinating.

"Are you watching me do my makeup?" Hana looked at him through the mirror, equally perplexed at him.  
"Mm," he nodded. Takashi thought it was rather interesting.

Hana shrugged and continued on with the routine. A quick gradient of neutral brown eyeshadow, the flick of her wrist in doing her eyeliner, and mascara to extend her lashes.

"You're very skilled," he noted, impressed by how she drew on the eyeliner with one stroke.  
"The modelling industry teaches you a few things about looking pretty," Hana explained as she lined her brows. Her cheeks were tinted with a little bit of blush, and her lips bore a bold wine colour. Her face was a stark contrast from the pyjamas that she wore.

Hana turned around and smiled at him.

"I meant to say good morning," she apologized for her cursing.  
"It's already a good morning," Takashi countered, welcoming her in his embrace as she walked closer to him. He held her tightly by the waist while her hands pulled him down by the neck. Hana snuck a kiss on his cheek before letting go to change into her clothes for the day. He returned the kiss on her temple before he took his turn in the washroom.

Takashi was in the midst of brushing his teeth before he noticed the faint lipstick imprint on the side of his jaw. A foamy smile appeared on his face, silly as a goose – he had to admit that he liked seeing it. It was embarrassing to walk in public like this, but it was nice knowing that she had made him hers. A bold declaration, even if no one else needed to know about it.

Hana pulled a blazer over her grey dress which hugged her hips, reaching just before her knees. She forgot about the hair tie that she left in the washroom. Takashi was looking at his tainted jaw with a smear of dark red along the bone. He tried to rub it off, but it only looked like a gash on his cheek that did not turn out as well as he had hoped.

The woman stepped in with an amused grin.

"It's good lipstick," Hana smiled. "It isn't much, but it'll stay on your face if you keep rubbing it in."

Takashi contemplated it. He didn't look _that_ bad with a red streak down his jaw, right? Hana gently tilted his jaw towards her, rubbing off the excess with some makeup remover.

"Good as new," she told him. "I just can't kiss you with lipstick on," Hana reminded herself. Takashi responded with a smirk. He reached over to connect her forehead to his mouth, and then temple, followed by her cheek.

"You're going to make me late," Hana murmured, but she didn't complain. "Careful on the cheeks, my blush might come off."  
"Doesn't seem like it to me," Takashi raised an eyebrow at her.

Hana rolled her eyes and tried to suppress a grin.

 _I'm really going to be late,_ she thought to herself.

But a little part of her didn't care. He was her favourite kind of distraction before a long day ahead of her.

* * *

It was the middle of the morning. A relatively quiet morning had gone by, with Hana checking the schedule of the President as she planned to pay a visit. A part of her, however, hesitated. What good would it do to only lose her temper again, at her frustration against a decision that she _knew_ was the right one after all.

She carried on with her day, busying herself on the tasks that she had missed out on from her sudden departure a few days prior. What was unexpected, was the sudden visit from Monaku-san, the President's secretary.

"Miss," the secretary greeted with a slight bow in his neck.

Hana looked up from her monitor and nodded, gesturing him to come in.

"Can I help you with anything, sir?"  
"The President is requesting for you," he answered. "It will be quick. He has a meeting in fifteen minutes. I would kindly ask that you oblige." His tone was careful, aware of Hana's temper and how assertive she made herself to be. It was not easy being taken seriously.

Hana looked at the unfinished email she was typing.

"It will be quick, you say?"

The secretary nodded.

* * *

The trip up to the top of the corporate building was already a few minutes in length. The secretary led Hana through the glass doors and left the father and daughter alone. It was a standstill for a minute, with the President typing away on his desktop and Hana waiting patiently.

But her patience was weaning.

And the President had little intention of acknowledging her presence first hand.

"You have a meeting soon, sir," Hana reminded. She tried to keep her tone neutral. "I too, have a platform meeting to attend to. Was there anything I could assist you with?"

The President tilted his head, a little perplexed by her calm tone.

"Do you know where he is?" he asked the child. Hana took a deep breath. Of course – her grandfather was the only link between them.  
"At the Ootori Rehabilitative and Palliative Care facility in Shizuoka," Hana answered. "He is well cared for, I imagine. I will make a trip to the facility tomorrow."

The President nodded. "I will email you the details of where he is staying." She earned the right to know, considering how she was not being as childish as he had thought she would be. Throwing a temper tantrum and all.

The two could cooperate for this matter, albeit reluctantly.

"That would be appreciated," Hana answered. She was professional about it. "I'll be taking Hiro's car." Or rather, one of Hiro's numerous cars that he had collecting dust in the mansion's parking lot.

The President raised an eyebrow at her. "There is a high speed train to Shizuoka from Tokyo that will be much more efficient."

Hana shook her head. "Animals are not allowed."  
"Animals?" He sneered in disgust.  
"I have a feeling that Ojii-san would want to see his dog, Kaina," Hana explained patiently. She couldn't leave the dog alone all day anyway. The dog needed attention and care.

"The facility does not allow for pets, either," the President informed.  
"I'm sure I'll find a way," Hana confidently answered with a smile. "If that is all, I will leave you to the rest of the day." She bowed.

She was courteous. Quite pleasant. A very different character from the hotheaded child that he was used to dealing with.

"You aren't angry?" he asked, before she could turn the handle of his door on the way out.

She paused but did not turn around. "I was enraged." Hana whispered. "But what you did was the right decision. I am not here to argue with you," she raised her voice to hammer in the point of her visit. Hana turned to bow once again before taking her leave.

* * *

Hana took Kaina out for a walk as soon as she got off work, making sure that it was extra long for the animal to exert all of its energy from being cooped up all day in the home. She felt bad for being unable to care for the animal as well as she could have.

Kaina knew the route well, even stopping by her usual spots to relieve herself. At the Morinozuka residence, Kaina refused to leave. She jumped up at the intercom, telling Hana to ring the doorbell. Hana shook her head.

"No, we can't bother them," she reasoned.

Kaina wouldn't listen. She jumped up on her hind legs to try to push the doorbell herself. It was part of their routine – stop by the Morinozuka residence during their walks. It must have been something that Ojii-san had done on a regular basis, making sure to annoy his friend every time he walked past. Just for fun. He was much too old to keep himself entertained otherwise.

"Don't bark," Hana ordered, while trying to tug on the guard dog's leash.

"She doesn't bark unless there's a threat," a voice told her. Hana looked up from the dog who calmed at the deep baritone voice. Takashi was in the midst of walking home from his regular day. It was past six, and his briefcase was in hand while his other had the keys to the gate.

"Takashi," Hana greeted with a smile. "Sorry – I had to take her out for a walk. I didn't know she always stopped by your place."

He shrugged, inviting the two into the residence. Hana kept a strong grip on the leash, not wanting to have Kaina run wild. Takashi watched Hana yield Kaina with caution and patted her arm.

"Kaina has been here often enough to behave." Takashi took the leash off of the dog's collar. Kaina sat obediently in place, waiting for the humans to lead. Hana was pleasantly surprised, scratching the back of the dog's ears.

Hana was not planning to stay long, just enough for the dog to be satisfied. But suddenly, Morinozuka-san had her sitting down at the tatami mat, with a bowl of rice and a full set of utensils in front of her. It all happened so quickly, and she had no power to argue with the elder lest she be disrespectful.

"I really don't mean to intrude—"  
"—Nonsense, Hana," the elder brushed off her politeness, placing a slice of chicken that he had grilled fresh off the stove.  
"Kaina needs to—" Hana looked around for the dog. "She needs to eat…"

Takashi patted her shoulder and told her not to worry. There was always food for Kaina at the house.

"My god, Ojii-san comes here too often! He really has no shame…"  
"He usually comes by for lunch," Morinozuka-san explained. "It became a regular thing to have Kaina around."  
"How troublesome," Hana murmured. "I apologize for Ojii-san's rash behavi—"  
"Oi, just eat, child," the grandfather shook his head. How could the grandfather and granddaughter be so different? Sawada-san would come into the home, unabashedly without any care. While his granddaughter would apologize profusely for any action she found to be the slightest bit impolite.

Thankfully, the child was obedient. Morinozuka-san watched the young woman closely, her long fingers gracefully moved the chopsticks which picked up each piece of food with such delicacy. She was raised with such poise – and there was no doubt that it was the reflection of her high society upbringing.

"How's the old goon?" he wondered about his friend.  
"I'll find out tomorrow," Hana answered. "I will make a trip to Shizuoka to visit."

Morinozuka-san nodded in understanding. "Very well then. Bring some food to him. I am sure he misses my cooking, which is of course, far superior to his."

Hana smiled. She was not going to confirm nor deny the statement. "Very well then."  
"Take Takashi," the grandfather offered.

The granddaughter shook her head. "I have taken up enough of his time this week."  
"He won't mind," Morinozuka-san insisted. "He prefers spending time with you than with me," the elder shrugged.

Hana looked at Takashi, hoping that he would refute the statement so she wouldn't have to. The young man shrugged. What was he meant to say?

"I'm sure he has many things to do," Hana answered for him. "Marking assignments, I'm sure. I will be leaving early to take Kaina along with me. I will pass on your regards to him."

Hana helped with the cleaning of the dishes, despite protests to sit still. Kaina sniffed around for attention, seizing the opportunity to snuggle up to Morinozuka-san while the two grandchildren washed dishes in the kitchen. Hana peered out of the doorway to find Kaina being brushed gently over her coat by the elder.

She smiled at the sight.

"Do you think your grandfather would be interested in taking care of Kaina during the day?" she murmured to him.

Takashi looked out of the doorway. "He wouldn't mind."

Hana sighed. "I don't have the time to keep Kaina company during the day, not with my job." She loved the dog, but she couldn't provide for it. It made her feel guilty every morning, having Kaina at the door to watch her leave. "You can see me every morning before I head to work," Hana smiled up at him.

Takashi grinned down at her, pulling her close. _I wouldn't mind that, either._

"And Kaina can have her walk in the morning," she murmured to herself. Slowly, but surely, the pieces of her life formed back together. New routines were built after the loss of such an integral part of her life. It was strange, but fitting. It was difficult to move on yet life would not stop for her, nor anyone.

He let go and told her he'd be right back. Hana walked into the living room to say her goodbyes to the elder.

"Thank you for having me, Morinozuka-san," Hana bowed deeply, her eyes averted to the floor. A sign of deep respect, as per usual.  
"Nonsense," the elder waved off. "You are like my granddaughter and a pleasure to have as a guest, unlike your old man."

Hana chuckled and nodded out of respect. She tied Kaina back onto her leash.

"You are built to be as strong as the mountains with a force as strong as a hurricane, Hana." It was a reminder. She was strong. She was made to fight through adversity. Hana gave a small appreciative smile. Her heart still ached, a dull empty pain that settled in her chest over the past few days hadn't gone away.

"You are a mountain," Morinozuka-san patted her arm in condolence. "You do not bow down to the wind."

Hana could only nod. Takashi came from the corridor, his gym bag in tow with a backpack over his shoulder. She tilted her head up at him. He smiled at her.

 _I'm coming with you,_ was what he tried to tell her. Hana blinked, still confused. Was Morinozuka-san alright with this? The elder ushered the two out the door, telling them to leave him be so he could sleep. It was hardly past 8 PM.

The pair was greeted with the chilly air of the winter. Hana shivered and wasted no time in getting her blood to circulate by jogging with the dog. Takashi trailed closely behind, making a note to remind her to wear warmer clothing. Granted, she did not expect to stay out this long. She wore her athletic leggings and a relatively thin jacket to allow for movement. A 10 minute jog at their fast pace had them back at the Sawada gate.

Hana took a moment to catch her breath. A stranger approached the couple, to which Takashi immediately to note of. Stepping in front of Hana, he looked down at the man who was perplexed by the sudden roadblock to the person of interest.

Hana looked up to find Takashi sandwiched in between her and the Sawada family chauffeur.

"Ryu-san," Hana greeted. She placed her hand on Takashi's arm, gently letting him know that it was safe. Takashi reluctantly stepped aside, still suspicious of the intruder. He narrowed his eyes at the older man who could not help but to cower and to take a step back from what looked to be, a body guard.

Hana bowed out of respect.

"Please – ah, no, Sawada-san," the man held out his hands to stop the youngest of the Sawada family from bowing. It should have been him to bow to her, that was the hierarchy. He remembered her as a child, being chauffeured to and from the airport. But now she had grown into a young woman, her stature was still tall as ever, but she was built with broader shoulders and a slender face.

"I was asked to bring the car to you," the chauffer explained. The President knew that Hana would be making a trip to Shizuoka.  
"Did you wait long?" her tone was apologetic. It was a chilly winter night, after all. "Would you like to come in for some tea?"  
"I would not dare intrude, Sawada-san," it was the man's turn to bow.

"Nonsense," Hana waved off. "It must have been troublesome to come all the way here."

Takashi watched the entire ordeal. He knew how Hana spoke on a regular basis, her voice soft but ragged at times. Husky and unpolished, her words unfiltered and abrasive. But tonight, he watched as she spoke delicately, her tone careful and polite. It was not a façade. Her intentions were genuine, her kindness was the warmth that he could see emanate from the soft moonlight that touched her face.

The chauffeur's expression lightened up at her considerate offer. Still however, the man refused, citing that he had to go home to his own family.

"Please give your wife and son my regards," Hana shook the chauffeur's gloved hand as he passed off the keys. Hana offered to drive him home, despite her rusty skills in driving. The man politely declined, and scattered off into the night. The subway line was only a 10 minute walk, after all. 5 minutes, if he jogged.

Takashi could not take his eyes off of her. Hana was raised with humility, just like him. It was comforting to know that she was nothing more, and nothing less than what he was taught to be. Hana had one hand on the leash and the other that slipped into his own to lead him back to the warmth of shelter.

* * *

Hana came out of the shower, her hair damp and her face fresh from her skincare routine. The tatami mat was overtaken by the pastel blue futon, her phone was in the midst of charging, and Takashi had his back against the couch while he marked assignments.

Hana settled beside him, grabbing her phone from the charging cord. Takashi could see her looking at maps from the corner of his eye. And she, of course, caught him looking with his reading glasses on. She smirked and shuffled closer to his body, comfortably laying her head on his shoulder.

Takashi silently let her rest on his shoulder, still trying to mark one more assignment before calling it a night. Hana was preoccupied with her phone, the screen shifting over to a real-time graph of markets. When Takashi finished, he put the unmarked assignments aside and placed his arm over her shoulder. His long arms made it easy to grab the phone out of her hands.

"It's time to sleep," he murmured into her ear. Knowing her, she would be tracking the markets day and night. She obliged and shifted her body to face him. She nuzzled her face in his neck, closing her eyes. Her shoulders relaxed as she took deep breaths.

"I'm going to miss this," Hana murmured.  
"Why?" she could hear him smile, his voice muffled by her hair. He pressed his lips against the top of her head, his arms moving from her shoulder to her waist.  
"You can't keep taking care of me like this." It made her feel like a baby. She was much too old to be taken care of.

"I don't mind."

Hana shook her head. "What _do_ you mind?" She pulled back and narrowed her eyes at him, curious to know what ticked him off.

"Poor grammar," Takashi mumbled.

Hana laughed. "Poor grammar?" she repeated.  
"Makes assignments hard to read through," he grumbled. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and closed his eyes out of annoyance. It was torturous for him to read through such poorly written and longwinded assignments which ultimately, made it difficult for him to award points for.

She kissed his jaw, trying to soothe him out of his irritated mood. "Can't do anything about that, unfortunately," he felt her lips curl into a smile. "But I meant, about _me_."  
"You?" He tilted his head at her.

"Aren't I annoying?" Hana mumbled. "I'm a mess. No food in the fridge. I hardly get any sleep. I'm barely capable of being a human being – just a workaholic."

Takashi shook his head.

"You have priorities," he pointed out, patting her back.  
"You do too," Hana countered. "You have a job. You take care of family. You run errands. You're a fully capable adult. And I'm… just trying to keep it together."

As always, Hana admired Takashi for always being capable. Ever since they were teenagers, Hana looked up to him for having direction in his life. The peace he kept in his path in life, no ripples nor obstacles that came in his way. He handled everything and anything that came with such grace. Meanwhile, Hana was barely keeping her own career together.

Takashi shrugged. He wasn't anything special. Just the average graduate student. He had more spare time than she did, given that his job was grading assignments and shelving books, to put it simply. He could handle these tasks – the mediocre ones that no one found to be particularly interesting. There was no need for any kind of praise.

"Everything for you is… set in place. Graduate school. A career in academics. You're happy," Hana murmured. "I want to get there."  
"You want to get to mediocrity?" Takashi chuckled. He was always in awe of how highly she spoke of him.

"I don't think what you do is mediocre, Takashi." Hana tugged onto his hand, as if asking him to look at her. "You're good at what you do. You teach – with patience and kindness. With thought and effort. You plan each lesson meticulously. I know you stare at those lesson plans because you are practicing in your head." She smiled, her eyes crinkling along with her mouth that curved a little to her right. His heart skipped a beat. He swooped down to kiss her because that was all he could do. It caught her a little off guard, with Hana making a noise of surprise before relaxing.

He did not know how to express – with words – how much he loved her. Nobody else noticed such things. No one else made him feel the way he did. Hana eagerly responded, her hands tangling in his hair as she pulled him down. She needed this. Endorphins. Adrenaline. Something to make her feel alive.

"I love you."

* * *

 **A/N:** A bit of a filler - apologies. I hope you all enjoyed, regardless. Your thoughts are always appreciated.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

It had been a little less than a year since their road trip to the fjords in Norway. It felt like eons ago. Hana hadn't even been working at the company a year and it felt like she had aged a decade. Early mornings were nothing new to her. The sun hadn't even risen but the house was bustling with Kaina following to and from each room while Hana packed.

"How long are you planning to stay?" Takashi raised an eyebrow at her. She was taking longer than expected, pacing around the house and looking around for something that she couldn't seem to find.

Hana shrugged. "It's Kaina – I don't know what to pack for an animal. The dog has never been on a road trip."

Takashi peered into the duffle bag. Leash, disposable bags, a blanket, food, and water. He looked at her, her expression filled with anxiety while her eyes darted from place to place. She was not worried for the animal, she was worried for herself.

"It'll be alright," Takashi slung the bag over his shoulder and grabbed his jacket. He led the way out. It was a little before 7 in the morning. They would attempt to beat the traffic as they left the city. Hana settled down after a deep breath, gathering her own things before heading to the car and following Takashi.

It was like riding a bike. Her hands found their way as she steered slowly through their neighbourhood, shifting gears became second nature after a couple tries. Scenery began to transform, from the bustling streets of the city to the quiet wilderness. Trees sprinkled with dustings of snow lined the edges of wet pavement that Hana was careful not to skid on.

Hana looked in her rear-view mirror to keep watch on the dog. The animal was a little anxious at first, holding up her paws against the windows and travelling from each end of the car, whimpering at the sudden new environment. All Hana could do was make noises of comfort, her soft _shh_ that Kaina only responded with eyes of fear.

"I know," Hana spoke to the animal as though she were human. "It's scary being in new places. It'll be okay. I promise. Shh…"

Kaina settled down as soon as they left the city, laying in the backseat and napping off her anxiety. The soft rumbling of the car and smooth ride had eased her nerves to the point that it rocked her to sleep.

"She needs some time," Takashi told her when Kaina had fallen asleep. He could see Hana's eyes darting back and forth from the mirror. "She'll adjust."  
"I hope so," Hana sighed. Bringing an animal was a reckless decision, but one that Hana refused to deviate from.

Her grip loosened and she exhaled. She too, was anxious. Though unsure of what exactly. Was it the unpredictable weather? Was it Kaina not being able behave?

"He's fine," his voice cut through her own thoughts. "Sawada-san is well cared for."

Hana sighed. He knew exactly what was gnawing at the back of her mind.

"I know he is," she murmured. "I just wish… I could do more."  
"You're enough," Takashi reassured. He wished that he could reach over to hold her, but he settled on enveloping her hand within his own.

Hana frowned. "I don't know about that."  
"What are you guilty for?" He whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping dog.

She shrugged. "The usual." He should have known by now about how she felt. Guilty for not fulfilling society's expectations of her, guilty for not being able to uphold the honour that was so desperately needed for the Sawada family for a place in their social circle.  
"Start somewhere," Takashi offered.

"I'm guilty for not being enough for you," she quietly admitted. It was different from the same-old feelings that cycled through her mind. "I'm guilty for not being the kind of girl your mother probably envisioned you with."

Takashi stayed silent, letting her words sink into his brain. He could not deny that she was wrong. It was never in his nature to lie, after all.

"You were never the kind of woman I envisioned myself with," Takashi admitted. She already knew this, he figured.

Hana chuckled, unsure of how to take that statement. "I've always been… quite abrasive." Her raw personality was impulsive and brash, learned only from the best. Yet she was gentle and good-natured but only to those who she felt worthy of. Hana was trained to fight, and only grew to be more suspicious of her opponents as she grew older.

"No," Mori shook his head. "One is never meant to be with the sun. You were so… far out of my reach and yet…"  
"Here I am," she glanced at him with a smile. "I was never out of your reach, Takashi."

Takashi disagreed. "You were… so different from me. Your mannerisms, your eloquence, your life was so complex… you were—"  
"Pretentious, it seems," Hana whispered to herself.  
"You were not made for someone like me," Takashi explained. "Someone… embroiled with such tradition, humility, and simplicity."

Hana focused on driving, trying to analyze his words. "Do you think we were never made for each other?" Her voice turned meek. Afraid of the truth. A look of doubt casted over her face. She exhaled to keep herself calm.

"The sun and moon can share the same sky," Takashi reminded her.  
"But they can't be together," Hana pointed out.  
"That's why they're only analogies," he smirked. "Hana, you are my sun – but you are human. You were not made for anyone but yourself. You are allowed to choose your own fate."

He reminded her of things that she had forgotten. He calmed her heart when it felt like a storm had been brewing within.

"But your mother," Hana still had to face the issue at hand.  
"She is happy, so long as I am happy," Takashi assured her. How could anyone deny that Hana was not someone to bring home? She already had the approval of the eldest of elders in the Morinozuka family.

"Are you happy though?" A part of her couldn't believe his words. How anyone was willing to put up with her?

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"  
"I'm… just so… troublesome," Hana was unsure how else to say it. Trouble always found its way towards her. Life never gave her a break. It was difficult to keep building her resilience towards each hardship when she hardly had any chance to get back up.

"You can be," he teased. Hana rolled her eyes. "But I don't mind. You are not as troublesome as you think."

She bit her lip, suspicious of his words. He had to just be saying that to make her feel better, she thought.

"Hana – your life is not a series of debts you must repay," Takashi explained. "You do not owe me anything. You do not owe your parents anything. You do not owe society your happiness in exchange for some kind of miserable life you trap yourself in."

She listened to him intently, her eyes softening at his words.

"My conscience says otherwise," she murmured. "You are too good to me."  
"And you are too good _for_ me," he countered.

Takashi placed is palm over her hand that gripped the stick shift. Her fingers slowly relaxed beneath the warmth of his hand as he ran his thumb over the grooves of her knuckles.

"We were born with privilege that we should never forget," he spoke with such wisdom, balancing the worries that weighed on her mind. "So we stay humble to our roots and our traditions. Hana, you are far from abandoning any of that."

She contemplated his words. Of course, she respected tradition and its values. They were the core of her upbringing and her moral compass.

"Tradition…" she repeated aloud. "I… don't like it," Hana admitted.  
"Neither did Sawada-san, it seems," Takashi commented. They were the kind of people who liked to break rules. Break out of the mold that society had set for them. They hated being told what to do, or even worse: what they couldn't do.

She nodded in agreement. "But you… you seem to be alright with it."

For him, tradition was always an accepted way of life. But times were changing and people were evolving towards a new era. Takashi, too, was learning to abandon tradition to pave way for his own life. But that did not mean he did not make room to respect the traditions of his elders or his culture.

"I respect it," Takashi answered. "As do you," he told Hana. She carried around the omamori which her grandfather had always given her, year after year. She used to accompany her grandfather to temples while she was young, and even attended tea ceremonies when she could. Hana too, respected tradition but refused to be bound by it.

"You worry too much," he told her. Hana stayed silent, watching the road and paying attention to driving. "Our lives are too insignificant to matter to the universe." A healthy dose of nihilism was not so bad every once in a while.

"So live," Takashi told her. "Live how you want to."

* * *

Hana hated hospitals. Hated the white coats, the smell of antiseptic everywhere, the bustling floors of the ER and the chaos.

She walked into the modern building that was adorned with glass to allow as much natural light into the atrium as possible. The Ootori facility was nothing short of luxurious and far from feeling like a hospital. It almost felt like a resort, with nurses and doctors about. With the sea to the south side of the facility, the mountains and the forest to the north, the entire place felt like it was hidden gem from civilization.

Takashi waited patiently with Kaina in the car as Hana checked into the facility. It was smoother than expected, given that Hana had already been on the list of authorized visitors. She was led to Ojii-san's room, though it was empty when the nurse had slid open the door after hearing no response.

"He must be in the recreational area with some other patients," the nurse explained. Hana was led down the white halls, into what looked like a greenhouse. A sudden gush of warmth covered with lush greenery and patients that bustled about. Some were reading newspapers, some were chatting on benches by the windows, others were eating their morning snack. Hana's eyes darted around to find a familiar face.

He sat by himself, his wheelchair faced the view of the sea. His hair had turned from a peppering of grey to snow white. His hands struggled to keep still, but his expression was calm. He stared straight into the grey ocean, watching each wave trickle in and out, listening to the soft humming of the background noise behind him.

The nurse left Hana and told her to check herself out when she was ready. She smiled politely and nodded. A part of Hana could not move.

It was a painful experience to watch the man she had grown to know as the fiercest, to succumb to his own disease. She gulped down the tension growing in her throat, blinking away the tears that had welled up in her eyes. A few escaped down her cheeks before she quickly wiped them away.

"Ojii-san," Hana whispered.

He did not turn. He tilted his head and blinked at the sea, as if wondering if the sea had called for him instead.

"Ojii-san," she repeated again, louder this time.

He was dreaming of his granddaughter who had called out to him. This was how he was going to die. Drowning in the voices of his lost mind. He was sure of it.

Suddenly, she appeared in front of him, she kneeled down and held his trembling hand with a smile. Her eyes said it all. She had been crying. Bawling her eyes out. Hana blinked a couple times and gathered her thoughts.

"Morinozuka-san gives his regards," she told him. He was still in disbelief that she was real. That her cold fingers which enveloped his own was a sensation that he was feeling and not imagining. That her cracked voice was not a fragment of a dream he had of her suffering on the floors when she was left alone.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, his eyes narrowing. Was he hallucinating?

"I can't visit my own grandfather?" Hana smiled. "Come on." She stood from the ground, her ponytail bouncing along with her. She wheeled him around the facility, with him still in a daze. Hana could tell that her grandfather was not as sharp as he usually would have been. It must have been the medication, she figured.

Hana asked if it was alright to wheel a patient through the gardens.

"It's winter," the nurse looked at her as though she was crazy.  
"Fresh air is good," Hana explained. Her grandfather was equipped with a wristband to alert the staff of any emergencies. It was perfectly safe, Hana told the nursing staff.

Ojii-san did not argue. He was not himself, Hana realized. But that was quite alright. Once they were outside, Hana texted Mori to bring Kaina around the back. Opening the gate, Hana allowed the guests through and the dog was ecstatic to see her owner.

Jumping on her hind legs to prop herself against the wheelchair, Kaina smiled. Sawada-san shakily rubbed the back of the furry ears before telling the dog to sit. It felt like a strange dream to him. He craned his neck up to look at Takashi, who towered over him despite bowing is body out of respect to the elder.

"Don't… don't you two kids have… better things to do?" he asked.

Takashi shrugged. Hana took over the leash while Takashi wheeled the elder through a thin layer of snow. Their pace was unhurried as they took in the sights of the forest which were sprinkled with dustings of snow. The garden was barren and empty, but the three found a strange aura of peace while letting the dog explore the area.

"Are you cold?" Takashi asked.

The elder did not respond. Takashi looked to Hana who shook her head before kneeling in front of her grandfather.

"Are you cold?" she whispered, gently as if the slightest wind could shake him.

The grandfather shook his head. His eyes narrowing at the sight of his granddaughter – still, it did not seem real. He was ready to live his last few days, or months if Kami-sama decided to drag him out for that long, alone and by the sea. He would watch the waves every day before he could float away.

"Why, Hana?" he asked her. He whispered it, in case anyone would think he was actually insane. If he was actually hallucinating his grandchild in front of him.

"Why, what?" she responded, in the same hushed tone. What secret was he trying to keep from her?

"Why are you here?" His head was clouded. His reality felt augmented and cozy. Something about the painkillers, something in the air – it left him numb, the pain in his bones which faded away took a part of his conscience that let him live only in his head most of the time.

"What do you mean?" Hana was confused. "I'm here to visit you."  
"But… how?" He reached over to touch her cheek. Her skin was cold, and wind had kissed her cheeks to become a rosy colour.  
"By car," she patiently answered.  
"I didn't get you an omamori for a car," he looked down at his hands, disappointed in himself.

Hana shook her head and laughed. "Don't be silly, Ojii-san. I don't need an omamori to keep myself safe. Right, Takashi?" she looked up to him for support. He made a noise of affirmation.

"Takashi," he murmured to himself. He looked around for him, remembering that he was with Hana. Takashi stepped from behind the wheelchair to kneel in front of the elder, just as Hana was.

"Your grandfather still owes me 5000 yen," he closed his eyes and nodded to himself. "Yes, yes, that last chess tournament was my victory."

Takashi chuckled to himself and nodded in agreement, having nothing else to offer.

"But you kids need to go home. And bring the damn dog with you," he scolded.

"We brought you food," Hana tried to appease him. "Morinozuka-san cooked it for you."  
"This is a strange dream," he grumbled to himself. "Why would the guy cook for me?"  
"Because he misses you," his granddaughter explained.

The elder shook his head in suspicion. "I don't believe you."

Hana tilted her head in confusion. "Why not?"

"Because I don't deserve to see you."

Hana hesitated for a moment, and looked up at Takashi. It was a glimpse of what she imagined Takashi must have felt. Listening to her ramble about how she did not deserve this or that, letting herself drown in her own guilt, feeling as if she was not good enough for anything or anybody.

"I left you behind."

She patted his knee that was covered by a warm fleece blanket and shook her head.

"I came to you," Hana told him. "I'll stay for as long as I can."  
"But… I'm leaving," he quietly admitted. "I feel… like it's right around the corner."

The granddaughter nodded. "I know. I won't stop you." Or rather, she _couldn't_ even if she tried to. Nature would always take its course. Takashi watched the two, blending into the background as the grandfather and granddaughter shared a moment. The harsh reality had already sunken in for the two of them. Now it was just a matter of time, waiting for the moment to rid the anxiety and anticipation that had both of them on edge.

Sawada-san cautiously reached over to the dog, still in a daze. The fur felt so soft beneath his fingers, the warmth of the animal emanating through his palms. It was strange how real it felt. But even so, his heart felt more at peace when he watched the tides come in and out.

"I want to be by the sea."

Hana nodded. "I'll take you back. Eat well, okay? Morinozuka-san spent a lot of time cooking for you. Listen to the nurses. Be good."  
"I'll do whatever I want," he grumbled to himself. "I deserve that much."

The granddaughter sighed before smiling to herself.

* * *

The two grandchildren settled in the car after Hana had spoken with the nurses about Sawada-san's medication. He could tell she was uneasy by the way she gripped the steering wheel, her fingers clenched tightly against the soft leather and her shoulders hunched towards the dashboard. Kaina had settled in the back, more comfortable about the car ride this time.

"Why does he love the sea?" Takashi's voice pierced through the silence of the wind that blew against their car. Hana sat up a little straighter, his voice bringing her attention back to reality.

"His wife loved the sea," Hana explained. "He used to tell me how she was born by the ocean and how she always longed to go back. The sound of the ocean is… comforting to him, I think."

She leaned back in her seat, her hands loosening the grip around the wheel.

"He's dying. I knew this. I saw this coming. But it still… it's hard to watch," she murmured. "The medication numbs the pain, they said. Taking him off it would… well, it would be harder for him to function." Hana sighed. Decisions became more difficult to make.

"I don't… I don't think he wants to see me," Hana whispered. "It makes… his heart heavier than it needs to be."

He listened intently to her, letting her voice her thoughts. He let the silence sit for a bit, until he heard her sniffle. She quickly blinked away the tears which brimmed in the corners of her eyes. She tried her best to focus on driving. Thankfully, the roads were clear.

"Your heart is heavy," Takashi told her. "Heavy with guilt. His is too. Until one of you learns to let go, both of you will drown."

"My heart is heavy…" Hana repeated quietly. "Is it too heavy to carry, Takashi?"

"I am not one to carry your heart, Hana," he smiled. She would never let him, even if he tried to. Hana was not one to allow him to bear her own burdens, if she could help it. The kind of stubborn nature she shared with her own grandfather, the hot-headed and impulsive pride that she always tried to suppress would always be revealed to him, at the very least.

Hana breathed a sigh of a relief. "You know me too well."  
"Too well?" He repeated, smiling at the thought. It was always a privilege to get to know someone, especially after seeing them at their most vulnerable.

"I don't mind," she admitted. "It's… it's nice."

Takashi gently wrapped his hand over hers that gripped the stick shift. His own way of telling her that he was happy to be the only one to know her in the way that he did. Hana welcomed his touch, a tired smile danced upon her lips.

Their neighbourhood had always been familiar to her. The two knew all the alleys and shortcuts beyond and within the park. After a long day, Hana had dropped off Takashi at the Morinozuka residence. He was reluctant to leave, watching as she sighed first and tilted her head at him.

"You must be tired."

Takashi shook his head. _Not when I'm with you._

"You should rest. Catch up on all the marking you missed today."

He shrugged. _No big deal._

She pouted at him in frustration. "Takashi, you have to go home."  
"Do you want me to?"

She groaned. _No._ "Don't… you miss your bed? Or… not having to pack a bag—or, I don't know."

Takashi was rather indifferent to it all. He could make himself at home anywhere, so long as he had what he needed. The young woman shook her head and turned the car off before opening her door. It felt good to stretch her legs after hours of being on the road. She made her way over to the other side of the car, opening the door for the passenger. It was already the evening and the sun had set. It was a long day for the both of them, as they set off before the sun had risen.

"Come on," she gestured for him to get out of the borrowed car. He obliged without a word. Takashi stood about a head taller than her. He smiled down at her, curious about her next move. It only felt natural for her to embrace him, despite his height. His broad shoulders enveloped her without hesitation.

That was all she needed. A moment of peace in the midst of the emotional turmoil that broiled at the back of her mind. He rocked with her side to side, kissing the top of her head. He'll let go when she did.

 _It'll be alright._

Hana held tightly onto him, her arms slithering up to his neck before she pulled him down for a kiss. Her fingers ran through his soft hair while he dipped down to return the same affection. His hand was placed on her back for support as she bent backwards, all while smiling.

Hana pushed against him so she could stand upright, slightly breathless.

"Thank you for today," she whispered. "For being my rock."

Takashi only nodded. _Of course._

She patted him on the shoulder, sending him on his way. Hana pursed her lips and looked up to him with pleading eyes. She hated how stupidly attached she was. But Takashi didn't seem to mind one bit. He only smiled warmly at her. Hana wanted to tell her heart to stop beating so fast. To tell herself to breathe normally.

"Get home safe," he whispered in her ear after planting a kiss at her temple. Hana watched as Takashi walked through the gates of the Morinozuka residence. He turned to look at her before he passed through the door of the home. He nodded to her.

 _Love you._

Hana waved.

 _I love you too._

* * *

They had learned to adapt. Kaina was more than happy being at the Morinozuka residence during the day while Hana was at work. And of course, the Morinozukas had no issue with Hana coming by on the daily basis to pick up the dog. Every few weeks, Hana made the trip to Shizuoka with or without Takashi. Kaina had gotten used to travelling with her.

"How is he?"

Hana stood in the middle of the President's office, as she usually did after every visit to her grandfather. The heiress was often called up early in the morning so as to not impede the rest of her day.

"You should already know," Hana pointed out. He always had daily reports on the condition of his father from the centre.

"Confirm what I know then," the President countered.

It hurt Hana to talk about. Each visit felt like another part of her grandfather being stripped away from her. First it was the medication to cloud his mind, and slowly the paralysis in his legs began climbing its way to other parts of the body.

"He can't walk," Hana gulped. "He has trouble… lifting his arm. He speaks, on the occasion. He's cognisant of…"

"You?" the President finished.

Hana nodded slowly. "You… you too." She showed him a picture of the President being featured in a business magazine. It was a story on the Sawada Corporation and its struggles from a small start-up in the 90s to where it was today. The daughter sighed.

The President seemed unfazed by the news. Instead, he moved onto a different topic.

"I will send you overseas for a business trip to meet with investors," he declared. Hana needed to gain more experience in expanding their board and increasing funds to funnel back into the company. It was a good idea for Hana to travel and make international connections, given her years abroad.

Hana crossed her arms. "I don't think it wise for me to leave Japan for now."  
"He is in the utmost care," the President sighed. He shared the same concerns. "You already know this."

The heiress shook her head. "Look how fast his condition has degraded," Hana explained. It had only been three months. "If I leave and… if I leave and I'm not here when—" she stuttered.  
"—It won't happen." The prognosis was 6 months, at best. He had to admit that he did not want to schedule any lengthy business trips during this period of time either. But someone had to represent him in these meetings.

Hana was still not convinced. But she had a job to do.

"You don't know that," Hana said, trying to be rational about the idea. "I respectfully decline this offer, sir."  
The President scoffed. "You cannot refuse. Your flight has been booked already. Your arrangements have been made. Refusing this would only make you seem incompetent. I will send Tanaka-san along so you will learn from him. Your itinerary has been sent to your office below."

Hana tried to argue. "But Sir—"  
"It is a short business trip. Not far at all. It is only a week long," his stern voice was quick to cut off any more excuses. "You have a job to do, Hana."

Hana bit her tongue and reluctantly took her leave.

* * *

He saw her every morning. And every day after work. Hana came to drop off Kaina in the early morning, and would pick her up in the evening. She would be at his doorstep in the morning, other days she would catch up to him through the park after work. It didn't matter to him when he saw her, or how often he saw her.

It still made him feel so _lucky_.

He noticed the small things. Like ravelling in the new shade of lipstick she wore. Sometimes, he'd find it on his cheek after he had given his seminar. It was embarrassing – but it did not bother him. Takashi would smile at the faint pigment on his fingers after wiping his cheek. He only figured this when he caught his students grinning at him at the front and he shook his head at how silly he was.

When he told this story to Hana, she laughed on their way back to the Morinozuka residence. Like music to his ears, he found it ridiculously endearing. She apologized over and over again, always making sure to wipe his cheek whenever she kissed him goodbye.

"It's fine," he told her, smiling down at her.  
"It's not fine," Hana shook her head. "Can't have soon-to-be Dr. Takashi Morinozuka ridiculed by his peers because of me."

Takashi shrugged. It would take more than a couple giggling students to ruin his reputation, he thought.

Tonight was different though. She did not laugh at the story of his student falling asleep in the midst of their final seminar. She merely smiled and intertwined her fingers with his, snuggling closer to his torso.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Hana pouted. "I'll have to leave for a week."  
"To visit Sawada-san?"

She shook her head. "Business trip overseas."

"Ah," Takashi nodded. "I see." It was understandable. He squeezed her hand to let her know that he did not mind. But she was still uneasy about it.

"I don't want to leave – not at this time," Hana explained. "Ojii-san is in too fragile of a state for me to leave…"

He pulled her closer to him, patting her back in comfort.

"He is stronger than you think."  
"I hope so…" she sighed. "I leave in a few days. Will you be okay with taking care of Kaina?"  
"Of course," he answered without hesitation. "Do you need me to send you off to the airport?"

Hana shook her head. "No. I can take care of that myself," she assured him. Hana had travelled alone many times before. Airports became her second home during her formative years.

"I'll miss you," he murmured into her hair. Only she could hear him.

Hana smiled. "We've been apart for longer, Takashi." Though she had to admit, she too, would miss him dearly. They had been spending a lot more time together nowadays. She'd grown awfully attached to him.

"I've been spoilt," he admitted.

She laughed. "Me too."

They had a routine now. Mornings had her dropping off Kaina at his home and they would walk to the subway station. She'd kiss him good morning on the cheek, sometimes a quick peck on the lips. Fast so that they wouldn't draw too much attention before they parted ways to work. He welcomed the affection with no complaints, grinning on his way to work.

There was honestly no reason why anyone should be as happy as he was on a Wednesday morning.

Hana too, looked forward to getting off work every day. Their schedules would usually align for them to at least find each other in the park. It was often Hana who ran later than he did, and her heels that clacked against the pavement always gave her away. Takashi would turn around expectantly, waiting for her to hurry up – even though there was no rush.

Hana always caught onto his arm, as if she was stopping him from running away. Her trajectory was often enough for him to hold her in place, so that she would not stumble too far and fall. She naturally fell into his arms, and he would look down at her rosy cheeks and smile.

She'd mirror his image, a stupid grin would form and she would look away embarrassed.

But today she looked down to the grey pavement, her mind wandering elsewhere. Takashi could only keep her close, bringing her home and back to reality.

* * *

Her schedule was cleared for the afternoon – perhaps out of consideration for her to prepare for her business trip. Hana had never seen her calendar so clear. She slyly made her way out of her office after tying up some loose ends.

It was odd having free time. What would she do with her free time? Go shopping? Eat? Her legs made her way down the subway station, and she caught the next train over to Toudai. It was a gorgeous spring day, cherry blossoms lined the paths along the sidewalk. Hana let her hair down from her ponytail, taking off her grey cardigan while she was in the sun. She wore a white floral dress that hugged her hips and stopped at the knees. The clicking of her stiletto heels down the stone pavement drew little attention in the empty halls of the Humanities building.

Murmuring became hushed whispers as she approached where Takashi's office was located. A small line-up of students poured to the entrance. Drafts of their final essays were clenched in their hands, anxiety was brimming over their heads.

"Office hours?" Hana poked her head into the office. Takashi was sitting beside a student, reading through a draft of their essay and making comments. He had his reading glasses on. His favourite red Muji pen was between his fingers as he marked the paper with comments and counselled the student. "How long does it go until?"

"It was supposed to end half an hour ago," a student answered her politely, noting the unfamiliar face. She was older than they were, her attire was certainly much more formal than they were used to seeing. All were curious to see what relation she had with their TA. Some whispered to each other that it must have been his girlfriend. Others commented at how beautiful and classy she looked. Was she another graduate student? Perhaps in a different faculty. Economics, maybe?

Hana ignored the hushed comments and smiled to the group of students. She gave them a nod out of gratitude before making her way to a campus café to grab a sandwich and a cup of tea for Takashi. It was half past 1 already, and Hana figured that he sacrificed his lunch hour to help his students. She returned to the Humanities building, settling on a bench outside his office and watched as the line slowly diminished.

"Hana?" an unfamiliar voice called out to her. Hana looked up from her phone, to which she had been responding to a few new emails that arrived in her inbox after she left the office. An elder woman with her hair in a bun smiled at her, and within seconds Hana jumped up from her seat.

"Morinozuka-san," she bowed deeply at Takashi's mother.

"Did I startle you? I apologize," the woman placed a hand on her arm, a warm gesture to try to make Hana feel more comfortable.

"N-no," the young woman stuttered. "I- um," Hana looked around for Takashi.  
"Was visiting Takashi, I see?" his mother finished the sentence for her. "Did you bring him lunch?" She peered over to the bench with the packaged food and the now, lukewarm tea. "How thoughtful of you."

Hana shook her head. "It's nothing, really – I just had some free time. Thought I would surprise him but… he seemed to be quite busy."

The mother nodded. "Yes, the term is coming to an end. It is always like this. Do you know when his hours end?"

Hana shook her head. "It should have ended at 1." It was now a little past 2.

"Ah, I see. May I take a seat with you, then?"

The young woman nodded profusely, making room on the bench by shuffling the food closer to her legs. "Of course."

"Do you usually come visit?" Morinozuka-san asked out of curiosity.

Hana shook her head. "No. I thought I would surprise him," she sheepishly answered. "Do you?"

The mother nodded. "I try to come by every week or so. Satoshi lives at home, so it is only Takashi that I have to come see."

Hana nodded in understanding. "How is Satoshi? He was studying kinesiology from what I remember."

The mother smiled at the details that Hana had remembered. "He is doing well, he does sports therapy for athletes. Perhaps one day he will open his own clinic. How about you, Hana? Your job must keep you busy." The topic changed quickly.

Hana gave a polite smile. Busy was an understatement.

"Do you enjoy it?"

If she had to be honest, "Not particularly," she answered with a shake of the head. "But we… all have expectations to fulfill. I do my part."

"What would you rather do, Hana?"

Hana smiled. "Probably some day trading. Live a simpler life. Enjoy the sunshine. See the cherry blossoms. Travel. Escape."

The elder woman raised an eyebrow at her. "I see. Well, Hana – you are a capable young woman. I am sure you can make things work."

"I… sure hope so," she quietly murmured. "I apologize for intruding on your visit with Takashi. I should have known, really. He is… he's always been more of a listener than a talker."

"Not at all," the mother placed a hand on Hana's knee, assuring her that it was not an unwelcomed visit. "I've been wanting to get to know you better."

"I as well," Hana reciprocated. "Would you be free tonight? Perhaps all of us could go out for a meal."  
"That would be wonderful," Takashi's mother smiled, her eyes twinkled with the wrinkles that adorned her eyes. "But I have prior engagements with some clients to meet with. Perhaps another time. When Takashi has settled down and you find time in your busy schedule."

Hana nodded. "Of course."

The mother took a good look at the young woman and nodded.

Hana's long hair fell down to the middle of her back, curled to perfection. Waves that fell over her shoulders were held behind her ears with a pair of sunglasses. Her fingernails pristine, with no colour. The florals of her dress balanced her simple makeup, while her crossed legs were elongated by the tips of her black stilettos. She kept her grey handbag near her, her hands that held onto her phone as if it was a permanent fixture to her. Her shoulders were broad but her body lean. She was certainly still fit to be a model if asked. Anyone could tell she was raised with class and privilege.

Hana smiled sweetly, as if asking what was wrong. Her eyes had no ulterior motive behind them. She leaned closer with her head tilted. There was some sort of innocence that she carried with her, a genuinely good-natured spirit. She had a humbling presence that Takashi's mother easily detected when Hana spoke about her job.

"I can see why he's in love with you."

Hana blinked, her eyebrows raised in surprise. She let her guard down, unable to control the expression on her face. She lips curled back into a smile.

"He's more than anything I could ever ask of."  
"More than an Ootori?" Takashi's mother raised an eyebrow at her.

Hana sat up straighter, her eyes glazing over to a fiercer look. As if she had been provoked and asked to fight. She was on the defense – but most of all, she was afraid. This woman had done her research and she was not afraid to get to the bottom of the truth. She was only looking out for her son, after all.

"More than an Ootori," Hana firmly answered.  
"And does Takashi know this?"

"He does," she told her. Or rather, he _should_ know.

"Takashi was not raised to play the politics you do, Hana," his mother reminded.  
"I am aware," Hana answered. "He is not subjected to the same kind of politics I begrudgingly am a part of. The Ootori is a relationship of convenience on both our counterparts. Nothing more."

"How so?"

Takashi's mother was asking the real questions here. Ones that Takashi never quite bothered to delve into, of which Hana was always grateful for. But Hana could not deny that she was expecting these to come one day, just not today. It had blindsided her – because her guard had been down.

"We both have jobs to fulfill. Omiais are a waste of our time. For the sake of keeping up appearances, we are a part of each other's lives in the public eye. Banquets, benefits, galas… we will attend them on the occasion together."  
"Is that so?" The tone of her voice was unconvinced. And Hana could understand why. With the photos of the Ootori and Sawada together, high class circles have already made it a well known fact amongst each other.

"This seems like a rather permanent arrangement." It did not seem like this would be a relationship of convenience that would end, considering the benefits of both sides.

Hana sat back on the bench, her fingers fiddling with the edge of her phone.

"If it is between you and me, I have already predicted that this will end as soon as the end of next year."  
"Oh?"

Hana exhaled. "The Ootori President's health is failing. Kyouya Ootori is already being expedited to take over. I will be of no use if he has already gotten what he wants."  
"You are not part of the deal, Hana? You are quite the candidate. Heiress to a corporation. Well versed in the industry of finance. Highly educated. Well-dressed and well-mannered."

Hana shook her head.

"Kyouya is well aware of my relationship with Takashi. No matter how ruthless he may be as a businessperson, he is still a friend to Takashi."  
"Is he?"

Hana raised an eyebrow at the woman. "I see you're quite reluctant to trust me."  
"I am at the age where I am no longer naïve enough to believe such fairy tale endings, Hana."

The heiress agreed. "Well. I have been honest with you, Morinozuka-san. It is up to you what you want to do with that information."

The mother nodded. "Well, what will you do when the Ootori believes you are of no use to him?"

Hana shrugged. "If you still think I am capable – I would hope that you will have faith that I will sort it out on my own."

"Very well then. I am curious to see what you have up your sleeve, Hana."  
"I won't disappoint," the young woman answered. She was biting far more than she could chew. Hana damn well knew that this was something she was more than willing to fight for – she just did not know how.

"Do not take offense to my questions," the mother consoled.  
"I understand," Hana said, softer this time. "I bring more politics to the table than meals to share with a family." She looked down to her hands, empty and cold.

"Hana," a deep baritone voice called out to her. Takashi stood in front of the pair sitting by the bench. Hands in his pockets, his head tilted at the peculiar sight. "Okaa-san," he greeted.

He pursed his lips, his expression neutral. Unreadable. Neither of the two had realized that he had been standing there. For how long, they could not tell.

"What are you two doing here?"

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm awful at updating regularly. You should all know that by now - so thank you as always, for keeping up with me and continuing to read. I appreciate it. Your thoughts are always welcome.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

The two women shuffled uncomfortably on the bench.

"I brought you lunch," Hana said, pretending as if nothing had happened. Mori's mother followed in suit.  
"And I had a good discussion with Hana," the elder woman added, cryptically.

Mori raised an eyebrow at the two, but did not comment any further.

"Well, I should get going and leave you two to it," Hana gathered her things, suddenly feeling intrusive. "It was nice seeing you again, Morinozuka-san." She bowed at the mother and gave a small smile to Takashi before taking her leave.

Neither of the two Morinozukas stopped the woman from leaving, watching as she scurried down the hall.

"You didn't have to badger her like that," Takashi murmured when she was out of sight. "She's under a lot of stress, Okaa-san."

The mother raised an eyebrow at her son. "She seemed to take it alright, don't you think?"

Takashi shrugged. Of course she would _seem_ fine. But Takashi _knew_ otherwise.

"She's a good person," he defended.  
"I never said she wasn't," the mother shot back.  
"I never said you did," Takashi answered just as quick. "I trust her," he was firm in his words. "I know her."

Morinozuka-san could only nod. "I trust your judgement, Takashi."  
"Do you?" the son raised an eyebrow.

The woman tilted her head. "Why shouldn't I?"

Takashi shrugged. He too, couldn't quite pinpoint why he was so defensive. It just irked him. Usually, it took quite a bit to make him irritated. But today didn't seem to be that day.

"I heard her grandfather isn't doing so well," her mother changed the topic.  
"It's taking a toll on her," he explained. "The past few years haven't been very… good, to put it lightly."

The woman nodded in understanding, offering no words. "Very well then," she settled. "I came to say hello."

Takashi nodded.

"Hana came to surprise you," his mother explained. "It was very sweet of her, actually. You should go after her. She probably hasn't gone very far."

The son looked down the hall, his legs itching to leave but not before his mother.

"I'll see you sometime later. I have another client to meet in about an hour."

Takashi's mother patted her son's arm, telling him to go. The son grabbed the sandwich and tea off the bench and went well on his way without another word.

* * *

He found her sitting on a bench outside of the building, hidden beneath the cherry blossom tree. Her legs were crossed, her head tilted as she watched each petal fall with the wind. Hana exhaled and closed her eyes.

Takashi made his way over quietly.

"Hana," he called out to her, eliciting a startled response. She jolted in her seat, her eyes shot wide open. She should have known that it was his voice, but it didn't make it any better when she was not expecting his company. Takashi looked down at her, offering a small smile.

"I thought you needed to spend time with your mother," Hana smiled back.

Takashi shrugged. It wasn't a big deal.

"She's nice," Hana softly told him. "Very pragmatic. I respect that." She was thinking about what had happened earlier.

His hand naturally weaved his way into her own. Hana stopped fidgeting with her phone and let his hands envelope her cold palm. Takashi leaned forward and kissed her on the temple.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

Hana shook her head in confusion. "Sorry for what?"  
"My mother," he sheepishly answered back.

"Oh," Hana was unsure of how to respond. "I don't blame her. She had every right to ask those questions, Takashi."  
"Didn't mean she had to," Takashi came to her defense. He could tell that Hana felt quite uncomfortable after that discussion. Her mind swirling into a god knows where.

There wasn't much he could do but all he wanted to know was if she was alright.

Hana beamed up at him. "I like your mother – even if she put me on guard for a little bit. But she's right. I need to deal with the issues at hand."

Takashi was skeptical but did not refute her statement. He leaned back on the bench and began eating the sandwich that Hana had bought. They sat in silence, enjoying each other's company without needing conversation between the two.

"I'm going to resign," Hana blurted out.

Takashi stopped chewing and glanced at her.

"It sounds crazy right? I worked so hard to be taken seriously by everyone and now… now I don't want it… I want none of it. I had written a letter of resignation months ago… I just – it's just been sitting in the drawer of my desk."

"Why?" Takashi took another bite of his sandwich, listening and soaking in her rationale.

"In a year or so, Kyouya will inherit the Ootori Group. He'll get full autonomy. I won't. I don't know what they want to do with me – but there is no growth in this company. No matter what I do, I'm at a disadvantage. I'm… nothing but a pawn, or a figurehead to put it nicely."

"So what will you do?"

Hana blinked. "I won't… resign now. It's not a good time."

"What about… your family?"

The young woman sighed. "After Ojii-san… I really don't have any family except for Hiro. I don't think… I'm useful in the company to begin with. To be honest, the President doesn't seem to want to hand off the company to me and I don't want it either. We've been at a stand off ever since I began working."

He nodded in understanding.

"The President can decide what he wants to do with the company. It's his, after all. It was never mine to keep. It is only my mother who is concerned about keeping the Sawada name in-tact. I… I'm tired of trying to do the right thing. Of trying to please the world and..." Hana sighed. "Feeling afraid of being a complete hypocrite for wanting to be the heir and now I'm backing out like… a coward."

Hana leaned back onto the bench and rested her head on his shoulder. Takashi's arm wrapped over to her own.

"I wish I were braver. I wish I could handle all of this – but I can't. I bit off more than what I could chew. I'm raising the white flag. I don't want to do this anymore. I wasn't made for this. To play the games of the upper class, to scheme my way out of this. I'm walking away instead."

Takashi kissed the top of her head.

"Cutting your losses is a strategic move, Hana."

She sighed. "Am I being… I don't know. It feels right to walk away. Yet wrong… for being cowardly. I just want time to… figure things out, you know? Time to find what's right."

"Am I not right?" he teased.  
"Career-wise," Hana clarified with a small smile. "You're right for me. I wouldn't ask for anyone else."

Takashi smiled as he rested his chin on the top of her head. She tucked right into him, closing her eyes. It felt like home. Peace amongst the chaos that she was shrouded in.

"I think you're brave," he told her. "You were always brave. Brave enough to venture across the world on your own, brave enough to take on the responsibilities that I couldn't ever think to do."  
"Yet still… I bring no honour to the Sawada name," Hana mumbled. She sighed into the crook of his neck. All she wanted to do was crawl into a ball and forget about it all.

"Don't think like that, Hana. You brought plenty of honour to your grandfather. He never stops talking about you."

He was met with silence.

"He talks about me?" she whispered, looking up at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears before she blinked them away and looked elsewhere.  
"Always," he squeezed her shoulder.

Hana sniffed. "Shit. I just feel like… I lost so many years abroad. I just… I can't even turn back time or… do anything."

Takashi patted her back in comfort. "You've done more than enough, Hana."

It was hard to get through to her. Hana wouldn't believe the words, even if they were repeated a thousand times. Takashi could only wait until she would snap out of her own thoughts. He would do what he did best: stay. He sipped on the lukewarm tea while they sat on the bench. He was done his hours for the day.

He looked at her lovingly, tucking a strand of her loose curls behind her ear. His heart skipped a beat. Takashi never failed to be in awe of her large eyes and the eyelashes that were curled to perfection. Her lips were a matte pink hue, while her cheeks had just enough rosiness to complement the pastel hues of the sakura blossoms.

"You're very pretty." The words rolled off of his tongue, quietly under his breath so only she could hear. Hana did a double take, as if she thought she was hearing things.

"Hm?"

"Your dress. It's nice," he cleared his throat.

Hana looked down to the skirt of her dress and ironed out the hem of it.

"Thank you," she chuckled to herself. "I haven't worn it in a while."  
"I like it."

She smiled up at him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"That's very sweet of you to say." The sudden change in topic was very much welcomed by Hana.

It made him feel embarrassed. How she took everything so gracefully while he uttered these sentences out like a robot. But she squeezed his hand and laughed.

"Sometimes I feel jealous of your students," she admitted. "I feel like they get more one-on-one time with you than I do."

Takashi grinned and shook his head. "I think they are more jealous of you." He leaned back on the bench and remembered how his last student stuttered over her words about a really pretty girl waiting outside for him.

"Me?"

"A student said you were waiting for me. She awkwardly inquired about whether you were my girlfriend."

She smiled. "Well, what did you say?"

Takashi shrugged.

"You just shrugged?" Hana crossed her arms and pouted. "Thought I'd be worth uttering a _yes, she's my girlfriend_ kind of thing. But then again, I've never liked that term."

"What would you like to be?" Takashi was curious.

"Something… more than that. Significant other? Maybe. But you've always been my best friend… so I could settle on that."

"Wife?" Takashi suggested with a sly smile. It was after all, always in the back of his mind – traditions were always something he could not shy away from.

Hana paused. He would always be her best friend, first and foremost. Hana never liked the formalities. But there was something about being so sure of wanting to spend the rest of her life with him, if she was allowed to.

"Yeah, one day," she softly admitted. "One day…"

He kissed her hand and nodded.

"One day," he promised.

* * *

They took their time around campus, him pointing out the buildings while she listened intently. He held her hand tightly as she swung their arms to the pace of their tour. People walked past them, not caring to even look. They were in their own little bubble.

"Maybe I should go back to school," she told him.

"More school?" Takashi raised an eyebrow at her.

"Then I could spend more time with you, yeah?" Hana smiled up at him. He couldn't tell if she was joking but he laughed anyway.

"Whatever you like," he shrugged. Takashi wouldn't have minded some more time with her. "How did you get off work so early?"

Hana shrugged. She didn't want to question it. "I leave tomorrow for my business trip so…"  
"Ah," he nodded.

Hana watched as he stiffened at the thought. He relaxed after a second and exhaled. His shoulders dropped slightly, letting Hana set the pace of their walk.

"I'll be back in a little more than a week," she reassured. "You won't even notice me gone," Hana promised.

But he would. It was irrational to think that she would never come back, but there was something comforting in knowing that she was always nearby. He wouldn't see her every day, or to walk her home. Hana too, could not deny the sudden empty feeling she had at the thought of leaving after she had finally settled.

Takashi didn't say anything.

"Hey," Hana tugged on his arm gently. "I'll come home. I promise."  
"I know," he gave a small smile.  
"You're home," Hana reminded him. "Okay? You're my home."

Takashi nodded again and tucked her under his chin. "I'm not running anymore," she softly whispered. He ran his hand through her luscious locks, letting the silky strands flow under his fingers.

"I won't stop you," he comforted. If she wanted to run, he'd let her run. He would never hold her down.

She held onto him a little tighter. "I leave at 6 AM."  
"Okay."

"Stay?" she looked up at him. Whatever that meant, he didn't care. Stay with her for the rest of the day? Forever? He'd stay regardless.

"Okay."

* * *

She was busy chopping up the onion as he waited for the oil to heat up. Her thin fingers were nimble and quick. She was trained well, and Takashi could only imagine what other tricks Sawada-san had taught her with that knife. It was always best to never anger a Sawada.

Domestic life was boring. But somehow, very comforting.

"Pass me the mushrooms," Hana held her hand out for the bowl. Takashi quickly obliged. Kaina began circling the kitchen for scraps of food. Between prepping for their meal and trying not to step on the paws of their dog, the two stole glances at each other and grinned to themselves.

The two didn't feel like eating elsewhere but home. Instead, they spent the rest of the afternoon grocery shopping and running errands. Trips to the bank, picking up some last-minute travel essentials for Hana, and stationary for Mori.

The two were not master chefs. But they learned enough for both of their grandparents to suffice a well homecooked meal for the two of them. Sitting at the table in the kitchen, the two silently ate their food before Hana broke the silence.

"Is this what you imagined?"

"Hm?" Takashi looked up from his bowl.

"Life with me," she clarified. "Coming home from work. Cooking. Taking out the dog. Marking assignments. Reading. Going to sleep."

"With you," he added.

Hana rolled her eyes but smirked at the addition. "All with me."

Takashi shrugged. To be honest, it was ideal for him. "What about you?"

Hana blinked. "I guess I… I never really thought about… life. Things are always so… fast-paced I don't get the time to sit down and to think about what a simple life would be."  
"Does it bore you?" Takashi asked.

She tilted her head. "It might?"

"Well, I guess this isn't the life for you then," he chuckled.

Hana frowned. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, as a kid I always imagined being an adult to be more exciting. But it truly… isn't what it's chalked up to be. Real life is mundane. Real life is the same clockwork every day until you die."

Takashi nodded. That was life. That was _his_ life. Takashi didn't hate it, to be honest. There was something very comforting in having a routine. Hana was different: she was used to having to adapt to differing scenarios. Something new every day. Always on the run. Always ready to fight.

"Do I bore you?" Takashi wondered aloud.

Hana shook her head. "No."

"Why not?" he narrowed his eyes, curious to hear her explanation.

"Because… you listen. You don't bore me. If anything, _I_ bore you. But you listen to me. You hear me. And yet, you still stay."

Takashi stuffed another mouthful of rice, listening intently – as per usual.

"See, even now," Hana pointed her chopsticks at him. "You're just listening. Tell me what you're thinking about!"  
"It's rude to point your chopstick at someone," he mumbled in between bites.

Hana reluctantly put her chopsticks down. "Okay. This is good. Keep going," she encouraged. Hana took a bite of her own rice.

"I don't like peppers," he said, while taking a bite of the peppers in the stir fried dish.

Hana watched as he ate the said pepper with widened eyes. "Why did you eat that?"  
"It's part of the dish. Can't be picky," Takashi shrugged. They were not raised to be picky about their food, after all.

Hana didn't mind peppers. Ojii-san always put bell peppers in their stir-fry, and she never complained.

"Okay…" she only stared at him, curious to know about what he was going to say next.

"Muji pens are actually the best pens," he blurted. "I keep running out of the red ones after I mark each round of essays."  
Hana blinked. "Okay." She smiled to herself. "Noted," she told him as she looked back down to her bowl.

"Your eyelashes are really long," he commented. Takashi always took note of them whenever she looked down. "It's nice," he told her nonchalantly.

Hana nodded again, a permanent smile on her face. She pursed her lips to stop herself from laughing. This was the most he had ever spoken in one go. All the thoughts that ran through his mind, with no filter – darting everywhere from one topic to another.

How could she ever be bored?

"I love you."

Her chopsticks were at the edge of her mouth before she could respond with just a nod. He stared at her, trying to read her expression. She was a little perplexed at the sudden burst. But she melted into the thought and softly smiled down at her bowl.

"I don't tell you that enough."

Hana shook her head. "You tell me with other ways, Takashi. I know. You don't have to say it."

He could only nod.

* * *

Takashi was always fascinated by the bottles on the counter of the bathroom. The ones that Sawada-san had always complained about whenever Hana came back to live with him. Each bottle was different for some reason. Skincare was a part of Hana's night time routine and she never skipped a day of it thanks to her old habits from modelling. It was ingrained in her routine.

Her hair was tied up in a bun, held back by a headband. The makeup was removed and her face was washed multiple times. Takashi would be lying if he said that he didn't notice a difference. But there was something very beautiful in her raw form.

"Are you staring because I'm _that_ ugly in my natural form?" she teased.

Takashi shook his head. "No."

"What is it?" she asked, patting in the toner to her forehead. Hana had her glasses sitting on top of her head after she had taken out her contacts. Takashi was just a blur behind her, leaning on the pane of the doorway as he waited for her to finish her routine. He had already laid down the futon and Kaina had already gone to sleep.

"You're… raw."

"Raw? Like sashimi?" Hana shook her head and narrowed her eyes. That's not something anyone wanted to hear at their no-makeup face.

"The mountains and the sea do not have to try to be beautiful when they are majestic and breathtaking all in its raw form."

Hana let his words sink in. She paused and turned around. "Do these lines just… come to you? Or do you write them down and keep them in your pocket so you can find a chance to use them?"

Takashi chuckled. "Whatever you want to think."

Hana shook her head and continued on with her eye cream. Takashi made his way over to her, leaning on the counter beside the woman who was inches away from the mirror.

"Is this really necessary?" Takashi asked – like any other man, he did not understand why all these bottles were taking up so much counter space.

The girlfriend nodded. "Yes. Do not question me. If I want to keep looking like I am somewhat of a living being, this is necessary."

Takashi could only accept that this was just another part of her life and observed her. Hana glanced at him and laughed. "What? Is this interesting to you?"

"It's new," he tried to explain. "I'm trying to understand it."  
"Then just ask," she laughed.

She taught him the foundations of skincare. She patiently pointed out her cleansers, her toner, her moisturizer, and serums that were placed meticulously in order. Takashi only sat with his arms crossed, his body leaned forward as he listened diligently to her speak. His mind was open to whatever she said or did.

"And that's how I don't look like an old haggard," Hana explained.

"Don't say that," Takashi shook his head at her.  
"I won't look this young forever," she reminded.  
"Neither will I."

Hana paused. This was true. Society had ingrained her to feel obligated to look young and beautiful. She had grown up to her mother looking like she hadn't aged over 40. She was thrust into a superficial industry based purely on society's values of beauty. It was rather saddening. But one could not deny that Hana had come this far, at least partly based on her attractiveness.

"You alright?" Takashi's voice brought her back from her daze.

Hana nodded. "Yeah. Had a moment there, sorry."  
"What was it?"

She frowned. "How society has conditioned me to become the way I am."

Takashi tilted his head. "I like the way you are."

Hana leaned up against the counter to plant a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks." She weaved her fingers into his own and led him back to their living room. They fit comfortably in each other's arms, propped against the couch as they sat quietly with each other. Neither of the two wanted to sleep.

"I wish I could slow down time." She wanted to stay like this for as long as she could. Forgetting about the burdens on her shoulders – with work, her grandfather, the future.  
"You can," Takashi told her.

"What?" Hana squinted her eyes at him.

He shrugged, snuggling closer to her. "Time is a construct of the mind."  
"Are you telling me I'm capable of controlling time?"  
"To a degree, yes," Takashi smiled at her. "You're capable of many things, Hana."

She only shook her head at him. "Thanks."

"Hm?"

Hana looked up at him. He tilted her head at her, staring straight back into her eyes.

"For always being my rock. My unconditional support. I don't tell you that enough." She rested her head in the nook of his neck. She breathed deeply, matching his own breathing. Her hand grazed over his chest, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat. It felt like they were one.

* * *

She tried her best to quietly slide out of his grip before dawn. His strong hands were quick to pull her waist back when she tried to roll away.

"Your alarm hasn't even gone off yet," he whispered, cherishing the last few minutes they had before he had to let her go. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.

Hana sighed, relaxing under his grip. She drifted back to sleep briefly, before being pulled back to reality. He felt her tense in his arms, her breathing quickening. His long arms reached over and easily turned off the alarm for her.

"Stay," he said.

Oh, how tempting it was.

"I want to," she groaned. "I want to stay."

Hana buried her face in his chest. "I'm so tired," she admitted. "I'm so tired of pretending of being something I'm not. I'm selfish. I'm a coward. I'm just a fraud."

Takashi opened his eyes to find her curled up beneath him. She was so quiet. Broken into pieces that he had to try to puzzle together. Her voice hardly travelling through the covers that cocooned them.

"You're human," he reminded. "But you were raised a warrior."

"That's what he used to say," Hana mumbled. "I was no warrior. I was just an obedient child."

Takashi ran his fingers through her hair.

"Why are you being like this?" his voice even. He was not here to lecture her.

"Because… I'm allowed to be. Just with you. Only you," Hana admitted. Her voice was as quiet as the squeak of a mouse. She would have never let herself feel this way on her own. Not when she had a day to conquer and a job to do. She was allowed to fall apart in the rare moments that she could afford to.

"Okay," Takashi nodded. He could understand that. He held her a little tighter, patting her back in comfort. Her hair smelled like jasmine flowers and she shifted so she could kiss his jaw.

"I can't remember how I lived without you," Hana grumbled.

"Me neither," he admitted. She just became a part of his life. Seamlessly. "I'll come with you to the airport."  
"I might as well smuggle you to Singapore with me," she chuckled. He laughed with her.

This was bliss. Waking up with your best friend. Laughing over silly things. They fixed each other. Mended the cracks while providing strength when the other needed it most.

A wave of relief washed over Hana.

"I'm okay," she told him. "Stay here. Tell Morinozuka-san I said hello. Take care of Kaina for me while I'm gone."

He nodded. She slithered out of his grip like sand slipping through his fingers. Mori rolled over to his back and felt an eerie sense of emptiness. He looked over to the bedside that she left a hole in. Takashi got himself up and took care of the bedding while she was in the bathroom.

He slid the bathroom door open to find her putting on mascara. He watched her intently, leaning on the door pane and tilted his head at the difference mascara made on widening her eyes.

"Sorry for hogging the bathroom," Hana tried to quicken her pace. All she needed to do was to pack her toiletries and she would be out the door. Her fingers moved quickly so that Takashi could use the sink. Hana turned around but found him standing in her path.

"I'll get going," she tried to get out of his way, only to be enveloped by his firm arms. She stood in his grip with her bag of toiletries in her hand, leaning into his chest before he let go.

"Call me."  
"Okay," she promised.

"Or text."  
Hana nodded.

Takashi washed up. Hana changed out of her pyjamas and packed her travel documents. The dog was quick to greet the bustling adults early in the morning, waiting patiently to be fed as part of her regular routine.

Hana petted Kaina one last time at the doorstep before Takashi gave her one last hug.

"Stay safe."

* * *

Her itinerary was packed with business meetings and dinners that followed on a nightly basis. It was two more sleeps until she would reach Japan. Hana had never longed to go back, not until now. Not until she had a reason to. She wondered how her grandfather was faring, but assumed that no news was good news.

Her phone buzzed.

It was Takashi.

She texted him good morning while he did the same at the end of the day. He sent her pictures of Kaina. She sent him pictures of her hotel views and the food that she ate. Hana took a selfie in the afternoon, smiling against the backdrop of the marina, wishing that he was there beside her.

 _Pretty,_ he responded.

 _Me? Or the view?_ She quickly responded, jokingly.

 _The view._ He wrote back, just as fast.

Hana rolled her eyes and shook her head. Within seconds, there was another text.

 _I like that colour._

 _Of what?_ Hana texted back, perplexed.

 _Your lips._

She looked at herself in the reflection of her phone and smiled.

 _It reminds me of the pink roses in the garden,_ he added, lighting up her phone. The Morinozuka property had a beautiful garden that his grandfather tended to every summer, so long as his back allowed for it. The weather was getting warmer and the gardens slowly began to bud. Takashi leaned back on his office chair, imagining her eyes lighting up at the sight of the garden in full bloom.

 _I miss you,_ she wrote back. His phone buzzed.

 _Also, you were supposed to say that I was pretty too,_ Hana added as a quick after thought – hoping it would make him chuckle.

He did chuckle to himself.

 _You're stunning,_ he quickly typed. But then he erased those words. It didn't seem right. He wanted to tell her this in person. He wanted to pull her close and to kiss her so that she'd understand that he found her absolutely gorgeous – in every way possible.

Hana was the one to end the conversation.

 _I'll see you in a few days. Good night._

He sighed. It felt like he had missed an opportunity. He always did.

 _Love you,_ Hana sent her last text of the night.

* * *

Her heart leapt at the feeling of touchdown. She had taken hundreds of flights all over the world. The life of the rich and privileged… Hana took flights for work, for school, for leisure… but nothing felt like this. A sudden relief of weight off her shoulders. The thought of comfort being just around the corner.

Japan had been her homeland – but never her home. Wandering from place to place, each year abroad she spent without direction.

Not that she had much direction now, but it was nice to have a compass to point towards a north star instead of an endless abyss of a maze she never came close to navigating.

Hana managed to step through the doors of the Sawada residence late evening. Kaina pranced over to the door, excited to see her – as any loyal dog would. Hana crouched down to scratch the animal's ears before dragging her luggage into the home.

Takashi poked his head out the kitchen door – he was wearing an apron and his hair was shorter. Hana smiled. He didn't tell her about the haircut. Her heart still leapt. Her stomach jumped in excitement. He nodded at her and let her settle down while he cooked.

She showered before changing into more comfortable clothing. Hana took a peek into the kitchen and quietly slipped her arms around his waist as he stood by the stove.

Takashi smiled and welcomed the affection that he dearly missed.

"Did you cook all this for me?"

"And me," he added.

Hana could only chuckle before letting go to set the table. Takashi was quick to bring over the dishes before filling their respective bowls with rice. Kaina waited patiently by her food bowl – it was also her time to eat as well.

She leaned comfortably against the kitchen table, watching him intently.

"What?" he asked after setting down the food.

Hana didn't know what to say. Her heart swelled up with so much happiness and bliss. She only smiled at him and tugged him down for a kiss. She could feel him lean down, smiling against her lips. He too, missed her. They had only been apart for a little more than a week. It was silly and they both knew it.

"Let's eat."

She was finally home.

* * *

Hana slept soundly until she woke to the vibration of her phone. This was unusual.

It wasn't her alarm. Her eyes shot open at 3:23 in the morning and her arm reached out begrudgingly.

"Hello?"

"Is this Takashi Sawada's secondary guardian?"

Hana shot up from the warmth of her covers. The cold was the last thing she worried about.

"Yes. What happened to the primary guardian?"  
"He is with us," the line replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Sawada-san is currently on the premises to accompany the patient."

Hana had to remember to breathe. "Why?"

"It was asked of us to inform you of the patient's state—"

It felt like her stomach had fallen into an abyss into the deep sea. Her heart raced, her breathing hitched. Her knee-jerk reaction wasn't to stay calm. It was to panic. She was terrified.

She hoped that this was a dream. The kind of nightmare she had every once in a while, every few weeks where she would wake up and realize the sun had not risen. That everything was still the same as it always had been.

Hana waited.

And waited.

Hours passed by, in hopes that she would wake up at any point. A nightmare that had gone past its due date.

The sun had risen and she had been awake the whole night.

It was the beginning of the end.

* * *

 **A/N:** The past few months have also been a blur for me... apologies for the sporadic updates, but - you know me, especially if you've been following the story since day one. Of course, much love to all of you who have taken the time to continuously read my work.


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